Princess of Darkness (dancengurl92886@aol.com) Regular "Drop in the Ocean" Summary- Ever wonder why Ryoko puts up with the crap she gets from Tenchi all the time? A short story from her PoV that will lead into a longer fic. ************************************************************************************************* DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tenchi Muyo. Pioneer/AIC does. Now please don't sue me? Okay, folks. (I'm going to rant now and if you don't want to read what I have to say just scroll down to the actual fic.) I am new to fanfic writing so go easy on me. I've been coming to the TMFFA for a while now and I have wanted to write a fic of my own. I've also been a great fan of Tenchi. Everything about the anime is great-plot, character development, everything. And I'd have to say Ryoko is my favorite character. Yes, you might say I'm just another Ryoko's-gotta-get-Tenchi enthusiast, but unlike a lot of Ryoko fans, I don't hate Ayeka or any of the other potential candidates for Tenchi's girlfriend (except Sakuya she's evil!) But that's beside the point. This fic is sort of a summary of the feelings Ryoko's had over the years, through everything-the OAV, the Universe and Shin Tenchi series, and even the movie with Haruna(sorry forget the exact title). I didn't include TMinL2 or MTUNE because I didn't know how to fit it in, sorry again. Hey why am I apologizing it's my blasted fic!*slaps oneself on the forehead*Anywho, this serves as a lead-in to a bigger, more developed fic that I am currently working on. It takes place after the Haruna movie. So for now, sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy...*drumroll sounds* DROP IN THE OCEAN A fic done by the Princess of Darkness ************************************************************************************************* I honestly don't know how much longer I can do this. Do you love me or not? It's a simple question but you can't seem to answer it. I've given you days, weeks, years even, to contemplate it. If you really love me you would have told me a long time ago. And I'm confused, with myself mostly, because I don't know why I'm still here. When I think about it, you've never really shown me that you care about me the way I care about you. What happened with Haruna a few weeks ago...it got me thinking... Will you ever love me? I'm afraid to ask you this question straight out because I am afraid of the answer. I used to believe that if I asked you that question, you would say yes, despite everything. But now I don't know. I really have always loved you, you know. You have been my light of hope. I was created for an experiment. I was kidnapped and trained to be an emotionless killer. I was good at it, too. I single-handedly slaughtered thousands of people, entire civilizations even. I remember the face of every person I killed, I remember every single plea to spare their lives. But I couldn't do anything about it. And if that wasn't bad enough, then came the darkness of the cave. Do you know what it's like to wake up every day to absolutely nothing? Do you know what it's like to come out of a nightmare, screaming for your mommy to hold you, only to realize that there is no one and you are completely, utterly alone? Do you know what it's like to know that you might never come out of your prison, and that you might be trapped in the dark and cold for eternity? Do you know what it's like to pray that you might die, because anything, ANYTHING is better than the cold, dark, silent hell in which you live? I didn't think you would. But I figured something out, after some time of being in that hell. I figured out how to astrally project myself, out into the outside world I had been banished from. And I was devastated to learn that no one could see me, and I felt even more alone. Until you came along. You saw me and waved to me as if you cared. From that day on I was certain we were destined to be together. I laughed with you when you made your first snowman. I listened to you talk with your grandmother about your first day at school. And yes, I cried with you when you were told that your mother was dead. I watched that litle boy become a man. And I loved that man... But now I don't know. You released me, and I was ecstatic. You saw me, and you screamed. And I was devastated again. But you came around. You let me live with you; and share a joy I never experienced:family. Then Ayeka... I'm not even going to go into that topic. After Kagato found me and captured me again, I thought it was all over, that my new, almost perfevt life was deprived from me, and once again I was forced to work as a machine for a maniacal killer. But you came to save me, and I got this crazy notion that maybe, just maybe, you cared about me more than the other girls. Then Ayeka was captured later on and you went and did the same thing fo her. You think I wanted to help you help her? I was in a hell of a lot of pain, pain I got fighting yet another evil monster to protect you. And do you repay me? Do you show me any shred of affection whatsoever? No, of course not, you can't make up your mind, you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, blah blah blah blah excuses excuses. However, have I left yet? No, because I believed deep down inside that you really loved me. But I don't know. And then there was Sakuya. She was almost as bad as Haruna. We went on a date. Did that mean nothing to you? Did you think i didn't really care about you, that I just wanted one up on Ayeka? Well, I didn't just want to show up Ayeka (although it would have been a nice bonus...) I really loved you. But now I don't know. I thought we really had something when our date was almost over and we were sitting by that fountain. You were looking at me, in a way that you had never looked at me before. You were looking at me like I was a woman. A woman you could talk to. A woman you could go out with. A woman you could love. That made me feel giddy like a school girl. Ryoko, the infamous demon/space pirate, stood there blushing like crazy because the boy she liked was LOOKING AT HER!!! And then I felt stupid for feeling that way so I left. I'm not used to embarrassment. That thought, the one that you just might love me, kept me from going to the school fair with Ayeka and the others later on. Because I trusted you. But then I saw you with her...holding her...stroking her hair... With that same look in your eyes that I had seen on our date... I don't think I have ever been more sad in my life. I could think of only one thing. I had to get away. I didn't care how. Through leaving with Ryo-ohki and becoming a space pirate sgain, maybe. Through going to a bar somewhere and lookng for a good time, maybe. Through suicide, maybe. So you can see why I was quick to say yes to Hotsuma's invitation. It was easy for me to return to a life of piracy with him. It's what I do best, after all. I even started to like him. He showed me the affection no one else ever did, especially you. And i was happy, after such a long time. I started to forget about you, even... But his "affection" was a farce. God, I felt like such a fool when I realized that being tricked, a mere pawn in Yugi's evil plan to break my family apart. She messed with the wrong space pirate, let me tell you. So the whole issue with Yugi and Sakuya ended not long after that. Things went back to the way they were so quickly. Even after all that, nothing changed. Hey, how can I be surprised? You can't make up your mind. And then came Haruna. A dead witch captivated you in 5 seconds and managed to do to you what I have been longing to do for years. When you told Ayeka and I we would never understand what she felt, I was...crushed, to say the least. For a second time you chosen someone over me in less than a week's time of knowing them. That was painful enough, but what came next was worse. I couldn't reach you. My heart wasn't strong enough. You fail to realize the only reason I went back to save you was because Ayeka told me I was the one for you, not her. So I went; I saved your life again. And now, as I watch you sketch in that little book, I wonder if things will go back to the way it's always been. Ayeka and I fighting over you, Mihoshi being her usual ditzy self and Kiyone getting pissed about it, Washu in her lab 24/7, Sasami the meadiator of the madness that is the Masaki family. Yes, I do believe things will return to normal, and that's what you expect. Well no more. No more, Tenchi Masaki. I will not take this shit anymore. I'm not going to be just a drop in the ocean of women you seem to know so well. I have had enough. And tomorrow I leave. ********************************************************************************************* WOW! I'm leaving myself in anticipation! So what'd ya think? Best you've ever read ? (doubt that) Worst piece of crap you've ever been unfortunate enough to lay your eyes upon? (more likely) Email me with feedback please please please! I love getting mail it makes me feel popular. No flames whatsoever are acceptible, all you will get is a long hate letter from me. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Oh yeah you can compliment me too! Thanks for taking the time to read my fic! Peace out! :,) THIS IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL BY THE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS, 2001