Author: Mike Fenton <mpfenton@hotmail.com>
Title: AFS #9 (EXPERIMENTAL SILLINESS)
Notes: Regular (OVA), script format
Summary: Some tinkering leads to some abrupt exchanges.
[Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the
property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by
Masaki Kajishima. This story comes entirely from my
imagination, and is strictly intended to be apocryphal--so
please don't sue me.]
1 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE
Early morning.
2 INT. ENTRANCE
The phone is ringing. Tenchi enters and answers.
TENCHI: Hello?
3 EXT. A LARGE CITY
Tall buildings fill the horizon, as airships go
flitting by. The streets are filled with afternoon traffic.
4 EXT. A SMALL CAFE
A young woman is sitting at an inside table, alone,
looking worried. She walks up to the bar, sets down a small
briefcase, and orders a drink from a barman.
YOUNG WOMAN: Just some water.
BARMAN: Water?
YOUNG WOMAN: That's right.
BARMAN: (pouring some water) You shouldn't drink
this stuff. It's bad for you.
The young woman takes the glass.
YOUNG WOMAN: I'll take my chances.
She leans in and gestures toward the barman.
YOUNG WOMAN: Hey, do you know where all the
Juraians have gone?
BARMAN: (wistfully) Where have all the Juraians
gone?
YOUNG WOMAN: Yeah.
BARMAN: (softly) Oh where, oh where have the
Juraians all gone? Oh where, oh where can they be?
YOUNG WOMAN: (frowning) Smartass. I just asked
a simple question. I should have known better.
BARMAN: (grinning) I live to serve, my Lady.
She sets the glass down.
YOUNG WOMAN: You do, huh? Then, who am I?
BARMAN: (pausing briefly) You're a Juraian, too.
Or, should I say, a Pirate?
The young woman glances around at the empty bar.
YOUNG WOMAN: I happen to be both.
BARMAN: Ah. A Juraian-Pirate. Now, there's a
rare find, indeed.
YOUNG WOMAN: Have you seen others?
BARMAN: Actually, I've seen one other, but she is
being held captive.
YOUNG WOMAN: (alerted) Captive? Where?
BARMAN: (wistful, again) The Leo authorities
came and drove out the protectors, one by one. In the end,
they took the girl. The Juraian Supreme Council keeps her
in their outpost.
YOUNG WOMAN: (insistent) Yes, but where?
Several other patrons come in and sit down at the bar,
as the barman leans close.
BARMAN: You'll find her if you can discover the
truth about her. That's all I can tell you.
The young woman appears about to ask something again,
but then turns and leaves the bar, glancing around
suspiciously as she does.
5 TITLE: "EPISODE 9: EXPERIMENTAL SILLINESS"
6 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE
Late morning.
7 INT. AYEKA'S BEDROOM
Sasami is sitting up, reading as Ayeka is lying in bed.
Mihoshi enters, wearing a somber GP outfit.
MIHOSHI: Ayeka. It's time for your lesson.
Sasami looks around anxiously at Ayeka, then glances up
at Mihoshi.
Mihoshi approaches Ayeka, curious.
MIHOSHI: Ayeka? Didn't you hear me?
AYEKA: (annoyed) Go away.
MIHOSHI: But, Ayeka--
AYEKA: I said, go away!
Mihoshi glances at Sasami, who gestures in an offhand,
somewhat apologetic fashion.
8 EXT. ROADSIDE
Tenchi and Ryo-Ohki (humanoid form) are walking along
the road.
TENCHI: Are you hungry, Ryo-Ohki?
RYO-OHKI: Miya!
TENCHI: Okay! We'll have something to eat on the
way.
TENCHI: (spotting something strange) Huh?
What's that?
RYO-OHKI: (looking where Tenchi is looking)
Miya?
A brief flicker of light appears and the image
vanishes. Tenchi continues staring for another moment, then
continues.
TENCHI: Did you see that, Ryo-Ohki?
RYO-OHKI: Miya?
TENCHI: Yeah... Must have been my imagination.
9 INT. RYOKO'S ROOM
Ryoko slowly gets up from bed, very unsteady.
RYOKO: Whoa! (softly) Boy, did I get drunk last
night!
Ryoko trips and falls, chuckling.
RYOKO: (still chuckling) Silly me! I'm still
drunk!
Ryoko slowly gets up, flickers and then reappears at
the bed, then falls over in bed. Mihoshi appears at the
door a moment later.
MIHOSHI: Ryoko!
RYOKO: (softly) Gyah...
MIHOSHI: Ryoko! Have you seen Tenchi!?
RYOKO: (incoherent muttering)
MIHOSHI: Uhh... Okay...
10 EXT. SPACE
A Juraian battleship.
11 INT. BATTLESHIP
Azusa is standing in front of a small terminal,
frowning, as a couple of technicians work on an odd-looking
device.
AZUSA: If it's not a weapon, what could it
possibly be?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Sorry, Sire. But as I've been
trying to explain, it doesn't appear to be a weapon. It
does have tracking and targeting mechanisms, though.
AZUSA: If so, then what else could it possibly
be?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: A medical aid, a prisoner
retention device, a masking device--
SECOND TECHNICIAN: It's probably spy equipment--
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Secure data transmission, power
transfer subsystem, a wave resonance container--
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Look at the detail of the
scope-- Definitely good for espionage--
Azusa frowns with thought.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: A surveying mechanism, a
bioenergy test system, an astronomic measuring--
AZUSA: Wait a minute-- What was that?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Your Majesty?
Azusa carefully studies the odd-looking device.
AZUSA: That thing you just said-- The test
thing.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: (briefly paused in thought) Oh
yeah. It could be a first-rate bioenergy test system.
These gauges look like they're perfect for measuring changes
in physical properties, testing chemical reactions,
assessing molecular restructure, channeling the charges
into--
Azusa picks up the device, considering it.
AZUSA: We should try it out, then.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Of course, Sire. We'll have it
working in a moment.
AZUSA: In a moment? (putting it down) What's
the matter with it?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Nothing. It just doesn't react
to our instruments the way the Academy notes describe.
AZUSA: It doesn't? It must be an old standard.
Try the galactic metric system.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Yes, Sir!
The second technician glances at the first, and the
first looks a little uncertain for a moment. Then they
return to working on the device.
12 EXT. ARENA
A huge arena, filled with cheering people, stands
amidst tall buildings and crowded streets. Within the
arena, several fighters in elaborate safety gear are
battling with light-swords.
13 EXT. UPPER DECK
A wave of cheering erupts from the crowd, as the young
woman slumps forward in her seat, grimly musing.
YOUNG WOMAN: (VO) Another one? Could he have
meant the General's daughter? Why else would they go to all
the trouble of keeping her alive and secured in an outpost?
If this is true, then I must act quickly. But how can I
find their outpost if they've all deserted the planet?
An overweight man with an apron gestures at her,
getting her attention.
MAN: Hey, you! Yeah, you!
The young woman looks around, confused.
MAN: Lisilla! Get back to work, you lazy bitch!
The man gestures threateningly at her. The young woman
scowls in frustration.
YOUNG WOMAN: Listen, you--!
He fights his way through the crowd to the young woman.
MAN: No! You listen! I've got a line of
customers going around the damn theater! Now, you be a good
girl and get back to work!
She narrows her eyes.
YOUNG WOMAN: You idiot! Do I look like a worker
to you?! Go away!
Several people make threatening gestures at the man, as
he pushes his way past them.
MAN: Lisilla, if you don't get back to work--!
YOUNG MAN: Are you stupid or just blind?! I'm
not this Lisilla! My name is Culeniso!
MAN: (reaching out and grabbing her arm) Come
on! I'm making you work off the clock for this!
YOUNG MAN: Let me go! I'm warning you!
He shakes a finger at her in anger.
MAN: You are in deep trouble, young lady.
She draws a dagger out in a flash, then replaces it
almost instantly.
The man looks at his bleeding arm in surprise for a
moment, then staggers and falls.
YOUNG WOMAN: I told you. (looking around in
surprise) Wha--!
A couple of security officers in full gear appear,
brandishing weapons.
SECURITY OFFICER: Hold it! (gesturing with his
weapon) Hand over that knife!
YOUNG WOMAN: (VO) What a day! This can't be
happening!
14 INT. AYEKA'S BEDROOM
Sasami is still reading, and she absently chuckles for
a moment, then stops, as Ayeka glances at her.
AYEKA: That does it. (getting up) I'm telling
him off! And don't try to stop me, Sasami!
SASAMI: Ayeka--
AYEKA: I said, don't try to stop me!
15 INT. MAIN HALL
Ayeka stops and pauses for a moment.
AYEKA: Now, where did he go?
16 EXT. BOOK STORE
Tenchi and Ryo-Ohki enter.
17 INT. FRONT
Tenchi greets an old man, who is stacking books onto a
counter in front.
TENCHI: Hello?
OLD MAN: Ah, hello. You must be looking for the
young woman who checked in, earlier.
TENCHI: Has she been here long?
OLD MAN: (smiling) Just long enough.
TENCHI: (nervous) Uh... Okay. Well, thank you
very much.
18 EXT. UPPER DECK
Culeniso is being escorted down the arena by the two
security guards.
CULENISO: (VO) This is absurd! They take me for
a common criminal! I've got a mind to do something I may
regret!
FIRST GUARD: Another raider?
SECOND GUARD: She sure looks like it. Damn
raiders.
FIRST GUARD: This is the fourth raider just
today. Don't know why, but they seem to love these mock
gladiators. Then they get upset that everything is just
fake.
CULENISO: (trembling with anger, VO) A raider!?
Of all the moronic--! What the--?
They stop, as the first guard looks up in surprise.
FIRST GUARD: Whoa!
The second guard looks around, gesturing wildly with
his weapon.
SECOND GUARD: What? What?
FIRST GUARD: In the ring. The Big Mauler just
went down to the Singing Clown. Didn't see that coming.
The second guard relaxes and hits the first guard on
the head.
SECOND GUARD: Idiot! You nearly made me shoot
somebody!
The first guard flinches in pain, then smiles.
FIRST GUARD: What? I thought you lived for
blood.
The second guard frowns in annoyance, prodding Culeniso
along.
SECOND GUARD: Nah. Too much damn paperwork.
19 INT. BATTLESHIP
The two technicians are going through notes, comparing
and arranging papers, as Azusa looks on impatiently.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: It'll be just another moment,
your Majesty.
20 EXT. ROADSIDE
Tenchi and Ryo-Ohki are walking along with Lilian
(Dotty) down the path. Lilian is searching through a small
briefcase.
TENCHI: Did you have enough to eat, Ryo-Ohki?
RYO-OHKI: Miya!
TENCHI: That's good.
Lilian glares into her briefcase, as if staring down a
gremlin within it.
LILIAN: This is so typical! I had it here just a
minute ago.
TENCHI: (chuckling nervously) Something the
matter, Dotty?
Lilian finds something, then takes out a small roll of
paper, then rolls her eyes.
LILIAN: Just my kind of luck, I guess. I hate
these reports. They make me want to-- Argh!
A car goes past, as they turn toward a forest trail.
LILIAN: Anyway. This is the plan. I haven't
modified it for the new location, but it should fit the
preliminary specifications, anyway.
Tenchi nods, not completely understanding what Lilian
just said.
TENCHI: What?
LILIAN: Plans--
TENCHI: For what?
LILIAN: (scowling with irritation) What do you
mean, for what? Don't you remember?
TENCHI: (scratching his head) Sorry. I have no
idea.
Lilian gestures with the roll of paper, leaning closer
to him.
LILIAN: I said, 'What we need is to branch out
into a growth sector--like sports. A nice little studio for
fencing or archery.' Then you said, 'Or maybe a squash or
tennis court.' I said, 'What a great idea!' You said--
TENCHI: (chuckling, looking upward in
embarrassment) 'It would be a little novel--just the kind
of thing they could use.' Yeah. I remember. Uh...
Lilian looks at Tenchi, expectantly.
LILIAN: Yeah?
TENCHI: I was just... You know, tossing out an
idea. I had no idea you were seriously thinking about it.
LILIAN: Nonsense! It's a great idea. It's just
the kind of thing I'm looking to get into. The liability is
bit of problem, but I think it'll work out with the new
location--
Mihoshi appears, and begins to walk hastily toward
them.
LILIAN: Tenchi, who is that?
TENCHI: Oh, that's just Mihoshi. I'm sorry. I
forgot. You never actually met her.
LILIAN: The sick one. I remember, now.
TENCHI: Well, actually--
Mihoshi greets them, looking cheerfully at Tenchi.
MIHOSHI: Hello! Hey, Tenchi. Who is this?
Tenchi stops and introduces Lilian.
TENCHI: Mihoshi, this is Lilian. She's from
France--we talked to her a few times. Well, I did--I think
you were busy dealing with other things...
MIHOSHI: She's French? I'm sorry. I don't know
any French.
TENCHI: Actually, she can speak English, too.
(turning) Lilian, this is Mihoshi. I think Mihoshi knows a
little English.
LILIAN: Pleased to meet you, I'm sure.
MIHOSHI: Uh--
LILIAN: Anyway, Tenchi, there's plenty of
interest. I just have to get the local--
Ayeka appears on the path, flanked by Azaka and
Kamidake. Ayeka appears briefly surprised, then frowns and
continues.
TENCHI: (sighing deeply) Oh, boy.
Lilian looks around at Tenchi, still holding the roll
of paper.
LILIAN: Something wrong?
He gestures in a somewhat reassuring manner.
TENCHI: It's nothing, really. Just a little
argument I need to settle.
Ryo-Ohki reverts to cabbit form and leaps up on
Mihoshi's shoulder, as Ayeka confronts Tenchi.
AYEKA: So! I suppose you have more important
things to do than to prepare for my father's arrival!
TENCHI: Ayeka--
AYEKA: And who is this?
Tenchi rolls his eyes and turns to Lilian again.
TENCHI: (VO) Here we go.
21 INT. AYEKA'S ROOM
Sasami stares at her book for a few moments, sighs,
then gets up.
22 INT. BATTLESHIP
Azusa points toward a display, gesturing at some
symbols.
AZUSA: There! Try that.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: (a little hesitant) Yes, Sire!
23 EXT. ARENA
Night has settled in, as the lights around the arena
come up, crowning it with brilliant points of light.
24 INT. HOLDING AREA
Culeniso is sitting in a cell, looking through some
hidden inventory.
CULENISO: This was such a stupid idea. Oh, well.
You win some, you lose some.
A soft beeping emanates from her, and she folds her
arms in irritation.
25 EXT. PATH
Ayeka grabs Tenchi by the shirt, a little angry.
AYEKA: If my feelings mean anything to you, then
why did you go along with that 'little prank?' Well?
Tenchi scowls, and narrows his eyes.
TENCHI: Ayeka, don't be like this. It was just--
A bright light engulfs Tenchi and Ayeka, and they
disappear, leaving Mihoshi, Ryo-Ohki and Lilian looking very
astonished. Azaka and Kamidake float toward the point in a
rush--a little agitated, as well.
26 INT. BATTLESHIP
The second technician recoils in shock as the first
technician frowns. Azusa leans toward a blinking symbol on
the display.
AZUSA: What happened? What does that mean?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Hmm... I guess I was wrong,
after all. It is a weapon.
AZUSA: What?!
27 INT. HOLDING AREA
Culeniso reaches into a hidden pocket, and the beeping
stops. A moment later, Tenchi and Ayeka emerge from a
shadow.
CULENISO: Hey! Who are you?
TENCHI: Whoa! What happened?
28 EXT. PATH
Mihoshi reflexively takes out her blaster, looking
around.
MIHOSHI: This is the police! We have you
surrounded!
LILIAN: How strange! (looking at Ryo-Ohki) Is
this sort of behavior normal for around here?
RYO-OHKI: (weary) Miya...
29 INT. BATTLESHIP
The second technician starts typing at a console.
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Your Majesty, I think I've
got this figured out.
AZUSA: What?
SECOND TECHNICIAN: It's not a weapon, Sire. It's
another transportation device.
AZUSA: A hyperspace gate?
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Yes, Sir! The difference is,
I can't figure out what it did, exactly.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Your Majesty. I think you'll
want to see this.
The first technician gestures toward a couple of
blinking symbols.
FIRST TECHNICIAN: It transported two people.
That boy and the princess, I think.
AZUSA: It took my daughter, as well? Where?
SECOND TECHNICIAN: That's what I'm trying to
surmise, your Majesty.
30 INT. HOLDING AREA
Ayeka looks around nervously, as Tenchi watches
Culeniso approach the bars of her cell.
CULENISO: Well? Who are you? What are you doing
here?
AYEKA: Tenchi--
TENCHI: I know, Ayeka. This is weird. Let's
just get out of here.
AYEKA: But--
CULENISO: Hey! What's going on!
AYEKA: (turning) If you don't mind, I'm having a
private discussion...
Ayeka trails off, her expression turning soft.
AYEKA: Cule? Is that you? It can't be.
TENCHI: (glancing around) What? Do you know
her?
Culeniso is throughly confused, and a little taken
aback.
Ayeka fights tears as she approaches the bars.
AYEKA: Culenisi. This can't be. No.
Ayeka grabs the bars, as Culeniso takes a step back.
AYEKA: Where were you? I waited in the Green for
five hours, but you never showed up.
CULENISO: Wha--?
AYEKA: Where were you?! Damn you!
Ayeka starts weeping, and leans on the bars.
CULENISO: (still a little fuzzy) Wait...
Princess? Is that you? After all this time?
AYEKA: (still looking down) I had it all planned
out from there. I take you to Maliana, and you take her to
our outpost on colony seven.
CULENISO: (a little skeptical) And that was why
you weren't at the reception?
TENCHI: (wide-eyed with shock) Uh--
Culeniso approaches Ayeka, and Ayeka looks up--anger
mixed with disappointment.
CULENISO: Well, it makes no difference, now.
AYEKA: You--! How dare you! After all this
time, that is all you can say!? Where were you?!
CULENISO: (sighing) Sorry. But I am here, now.
Tenchi gently pats Ayeka on the arm.
TENCHI: Maybe we should just go.
Ayeka turns away from the cell.
AYEKA: Perhaps you are right.
Ayeka takes a few steps away, then turns again.
AYEKA: Now, what are you doing? Huh? You got
caught committing theft again, I suppose.
CULENISO: Actually, believe it or not, I'm here
purely by mistake. It was a case of mistaken identity, I
assure you.
TENCHI: Yeah. Likely story. Let's go, Ayeka.
AYEKA: (to Tenchi) Yes. Once a thief, always a
thief.
Ayeka is nearly out of the holding area, then turns and
returns to the cell.
AYEKA: I'm not letting you out of my sight until
I get a proper explanation from you.
Culeniso looks upward in thought.
CULENISO: Well, I guess you'd better get me out
of here, before the guards return from their goofing off.
Ayeka glares at her as Culeniso smiles a little smugly.
31 INT. BATTLESHIP
Azusa is angrily hovering, as the technicians are
struggling fiercely with their problem, scanning and typing.
The display flickers and vanishes, and the odd-looking
device blinks a couple of times.
AZUSA: What just happened?
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Sorry, Sire. I think it just
powered down. Must be a power regulator or a safety cut-off
switch.
AZUSA: Get that thing going!
FIRST TECHNICIAN: We're on it, your Majesty, but
we're really just guessing what this thing is. No telling
who it might transport next.
AZUSA: Never mind that! Just start it up again!
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Yes, Sire!
32 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE
Early afternoon.
33 INT. ENTRANCE
Sasami greets Mihoshi, Ryo-Ohki and Lilian at the door.
SASAMI: So, what happened to Tenchi and Ayeka?
MIHOSHI: Well... I don't exactly know.
SASAMI: (recoiling with shock) What?!
34 INT. RYOKO'S ROOM
Ryoko slowly gets up from bed, flickers and vanishes.
35 INT. BATHROOM
Ryoko is leaning over the toilet, vomiting.
36 INT. RYOKO'S ROOM
Ryoko reappears, still a little dizzy.
RYOKO: Damn! I'm still drunk!
Ryoko then passes out in her bed.
37 EXT. OUTSIDE ARENA
Tenchi, Ayeka and Culeniso are walking amidst scattered
groups of people.
CULENISO: I intercepted reports that certain
Elite Pirates had been arrested here. (looking up) Man, is
it dark!
TENCHI: Huh?
AYEKA: Never mind that. Why were you looking for
the General's daughter?
CULENISO: (blankly explaining) I'd heard that I
could find her. It's not everyday that you can find one of
your own kind. Especially when you're raised as I was.
AYEKA: (a little disgusted) Culenisi, you were
raised by my brother and I. You know that.
CULENISO: (annoyed) That's not my name, you
know. How long are you going to keep calling me that?
AYEKA: (smug) Would you prefer it if I called
you 'little Sister?'
CULENISO: (more annoyed) I'd prefer if you put a
knife through my chest before calling me that.
TENCHI: (sighing, VO) Why did I even bother to
answer the phone?
38 INT. MAIN HALL
Sasami is sitting at the sofa, fretting, as Mihoshi
sits next to Ryo-Ohki. Lilian enters with some food, and
sets it on the table.
LILIAN: Sorry, but all I could find was some
leftover food. I just heated it up.
MIHOSHI: That's okay, Dotty. (turning) Sasami?
Don't you want to eat?
SASAMI: Huh? Uh, no. Go on without me, would
you?
LILIAN: (frowning sadly) Poor little Sasami. It
must be tough for her.
Mihoshi picks up some food, and glances around for a
moment at Sasami.
MIHOSHI: Yeah... Oh, well.
Ryo-Ohki goes to Sasami (cabbit form) and looks at her
cheerfully.
RYO-OHKI: Miya!
SASAMI: (softly) I know, Ryo-Ohki. They'll be
all right. I'll just eat later, okay?
39 EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX
A small building on the edge of the city, flanked with
small motels and restaurants. Tenchi and Ayeka approach the
door of one apartment, as Culeniso approaches.
CULENISO: We'll just stop here, for now. I need
to roll out my maps. Now that I actually know who it is I'm
looking for, I think I can narrow down the possibilities.
AYEKA: Tenchi and I will wait outside.
Culeniso is about to open the door.
CULENISO: Really? It's going to be some time, I
think. Oh, well. While you're out here (handing a small
bag to Ayeka), I need some supplies. There's a corner store
up the street a couple of blocks.
TENCHI: (taking the bag) I'll go get it. What
do we need?
Ayeka looks back and forth between Tenchi and Culeniso,
a little undecided.
Culeniso stops to think for a moment.
CULENISO: Just some of the basics...
40 INT. APARTMENT
Culeniso enters, and looks back at Ayeka.
CULENISO: You sure you don't want to come in?
Ayeka folds her arms and turns away, and Culeniso shuts
the door.
CULENISO: Some people--
The voice of Lania softly penetrates the darkness of
the front room.
LANIA: (OC) Yes. How rude. Not at all like us,
eh, cousin?
41 INT. BATTLESHIP
Azusa is pacing, as Funaho enters, looking around
curiously.
FUNAHO: How goes the experiment? All is well, I
trust?
AZUSA: Of course! (nervous) Why wouldn't it be?
Funaho gently but firmly studies Azusa's face. Azusa
scowls in irritation, quickly turning away. Funaho glances
at the others, frowns, then bows and turns away.
FUNAHO: I see. I'll leave this in your hands,
then. I'm sure we'll make a remarkable discovery.
42 INT. APARTMENT
Culeniso looks around the lighted room, finding Lania,
sitting at a chair.
CULENISO: Who are you? What do you want?
Lania smiles, off-handedly.
LANIA: You were looking for me, weren't you?
I've saved you the trouble.
Culeniso pauses in thought for a moment.
CULENISO: Looking for--? You must be the
General's daughter.
LANIA: (frowning, a little petulant) You should
call me Lania. That's what everyone calls me.
Culeniso takes another moment to examine Lania in the
light.
CULENISO: How do you know me? How did you find
this place?
Lania chuckles and takes out a small picture, looking
fondly at it.
LANIA: It was easy, actually.
CULENISO: You were following me?
Lania gets up and smiles up at Culeniso.
LANIA: I'm awfully curious--or so they tell me.
I'm very good at getting out of my prison cell they call a
room.
CULENISO: Especially when the planet is nearly
deserted.
LANIA: That helped.
CULENISO: (darkly) How do you know me?
Lania holds up the picture.
LANIA: I recognized you. See?
The picture shows a small group of Juraians, posing in
formal uniform. One of them is a young Ayeka, another
Sasami. One woman on the end with long, red hair is
grinning widely.
Lania sits back in the chair, gesturing for the
picture. Culeniso gives it back.
LANIA: You don't mind, then? If we talk?
CULENISO: Uh--
LANIA: About the General. You know, the one you
called my father. He is my father, isn't he?
CULENISO: Uh huh.
LANIA: Did anyone ever tell you that you don't
talk much?
CULENISO: You're just like your mother. Never
could get her to shut up.
Lania is speechless, of course.
Culeniso sits in another chair, taking another look at
the picture.
CULENISO: Now, that I think about it, it makes
sense that they decided to keep you here. You were probably
even meant to kill me. They've already started training
you, I suppose.
LANIA: (nervous) Should I stop, then?
Culeniso hands the picture back again.
CULENISO: No. You are going to kill me, too.
LANIA: (gasping) Wha--!
CULENISO: (winking) Not for real, though. Just
get them off my back.
LANIA: (relieved) Oh, I see! Just make it look
real. I get it. (leaning toward her) The Juraians are
after you?
CULENISO: (shaking her head) It's much worse
than that. And you'll have to do it quickly, before that
damn princess returns.
43 EXT. APARTMENT
Tenchi returns with the bag and a small box. He hands
the bag to Ayeka and looks in the box.
TENCHI: I think I've got everything here... Just
a second.
AYEKA: (annoyed) I think I know where we are--
although, how in the universe we ended up here... Anyway, I
know a few people at the embassy we can talk to--
They hear some shouting, and Tenchi drops the box,
reflexively moving between the apartment door and Ayeka.
Ayeka pulls him out of the way, again.
AYEKA: Tenchi, I don't think we should get
involved.
44 INT. APARTMENT
Lania is holding a gun toward Culeniso. Culeniso
frowns and gestures at her.
CULENISO: Back up a step, huh? You don't want to
kill me, do you?
Lania takes a step back, nervously.
LANIA: Okay.
CULENISO: I have my weapons tuned to fake blood
and guts, but at close range, they can produce real blood
and guts.
Lania looks at the gun in wonder.
LANIA: Wow! This sure is versatile.
CULENISO: (frowning) Careful with that. Yeah,
all my weapons are versatile. They have to be, when you're
a Pirate, you know.
LANIA: (looking up, curious) Could you tell me
something?
Culeniso is a little preoccupied with something in her
pocket.
CULENISO: Yeah...
LANIA: (a little hesitant) How did my mother
die?
CULENISO: (alerted) Huh? How do you know she's
dead?
LANIA: (studious) You and Grandpa are always
referring to her in the past tense. I just want to know
what happened.
CULENISO: (sighing) I don't know. I wasn't
there at the time. I was slated for a colony transfer.
Lania takes a step forward, gesturing with the gun.
LANIA: You know more than you're saying. Aren't
you?
CULENISO: Whoa! Okay. I'll tell you. Just back
off, all right!
LANIA: Tell me! Damn you! Do it, or I'll really
kill you!
CULENISO: Calm down, girl, and I will. If you
don't step back, then you'll never know.
Lania is fierce for a moment, then sadly takes a step
back.
LANIA: I'm sorry. I'm just getting really tired
of people treating me like a little kid.
CULENISO: (sighing with relief) That's better.
Now, all I know is that she fell out of a window at the
palace. The safety force shields failed for some weird
reason, so I assumed she was murdered. The official word
was that it was suicide, but--
LANIA: (looking down, afraid) No scapegoats.
CULENISO: (nodding, grimly acknowleding) I think
you're right. Somebody high up. Someone the royal family
couldn't exactly punish, for fear of stirring a rebellion.
LANIA: (thoughtfully looking up again) That's
why you don't want Ayeka to be in on this! You suspect her!
CULENISO: (a little shocked for a moment) No.
You've got it all wrong. I was--
The door opens, as Ayeka looks in. Lania fires the
gun, reflexively reacting to the door opening. Lania then
gasps in recognition. Culeniso is covered with fake blood
and guts, apparently unconscious.
LANIA: Ayeka!
AYEKA: (turning) Wha--?
Lania immediately bolts from the room through the
window. Tenchi appears a moment later, then gasps as he
sees Culeniso.
AYEKA: (softly) Oh--
TENCHI: My god!
45 INT. MAIN HALL
Lilian is sitting at the table, finishing her food, as
Mihoshi and Sasami sit at the sofa with Ryo-Ohki. Lilian
looks at her watch casually, and stands, gesturing.
LILIAN: Well, I'm off.
MIHOSHI: You're what?
LILIAN: I'd love to stay, but I made a promise to
do a few little chores for a certain bookshop keeper.
MIHOSHI: Oh, okay.
SASAMI: Thanks for the visit, Dotty. It was good
to see you again.
LILIAN: (pleasantly charmed) That's so nice of
you! I'll have to remember to visit more often!
MIHOSHI: (waving) Goodbye! Oh-- (flinching in
shock)
Ryoko appears, suddenly floating in front of Lilian.
RYOKO: Who're you?
LILIAN: Uh... Good evening... What is your
nationality? (chuckling nervously) I'm afraid that's about
all the Japanese I know.
RYOKO: Oh yeah! You're one of those French
people. Wait. Let me think. Cela vous va bien.
(frowning) I don't think that came out right.
LILIAN: (a little embarrassed, leaving) Merci!
I think I'll be going, now. Sayonara!
RYOKO: (pondering for a few moments) Wait! I
got it-- (looking around) Oh, she left. How rude!
Sasami, where are the others?
46 INT. APARTMENT
Tenchi rushes to Culeniso, and looks on in horror.
TENCHI: I think I'm going to be sick. Ayeka...
Ayeka folds her arms and looks away.
AYEKA: What a disgusting display. (muttering)
I'm a princess of Jurai--this is truly beneath my dignity.
Tenchi looks around, pleadingly.
TENCHI: We've got to help her, don't we?
AYEKA: (irritated) Why should we? She can help
herself just fine.
TENCHI: (dumbfounded) Huh?
AYEKA: (turning to Culeniso) That's right, Cule!
You can drop the act. It won't work on me, remember? You
already played dead once before, and it wasn't funny then,
either.
Ayeka walks over to Culeniso and kicks her. Culeniso
flinches and looks up at Ayeka in annoyance.
CULENISO: You're still a big pain in the butt,
you know?
Tenchi shakes his head.
TENCHI: I should have stayed in bed this morning.
47 INT. MAIN HALL
Ryoko appears in front of Sasami, outraged.
RYOKO: He's what?!
SASAMI: Disappeared! I'm sorry, but we don't
know where!
RYOKO: I don't care where--anywhere except with
that princess! Argh! (mournfully) She's still mad at him
for that stupid prank Yosho pulled on her! Imagine the
tortures she could inflict on poor Tenchi to get even!
MIHOSHI: Oh, come on, Ryoko! Ayeka wouldn't
torture Tenchi! (pondering, suddenly) I think...
Ryoko overacts just a little.
RYOKO: If only I had been there! I could have
saved him from this fate!
SASAMI: (somewhat mortified) And Ayeka, too.
RYOKO: (casual) Huh? Uh, yeah. I guess so.
48 INT. APARTMENT
Culeniso is standing, annoyed, facing Ayeka. Tenchi is
sitting in a chair.
CULENISO: Now, what? How am I going to hide from
the Elite Guard?
AYEKA: Hmph. It's not my problem. Your mistake
was getting involved with them in the first place.
CULENISO: I didn't exactly have a choice. They
consider family relations automatic membership--and they
don't take no for an answer.
AYEKA: Tenchi, we should be leaving. As I said
before, we really shouldn't be involved. This is a matter
for the authorities here.
TENCHI: (blankly confused) Here? Where exactly
is here?
AYEKA: (sighing) Never mind. I'll explain
later. (softly) Once I have some idea how this happened,
to begin with.
CULENISO: (reaching into a pocket) Oh, yeah.
That reminds me. (takes out a small device) I triggered
the panic beacon just before you showed up. My comrades
will likely come looking here.
AYEKA: (flinching in shock) Tenchi, we'd better
hurry!
Culeniso grins as she presses a button on the device.
CULENISO: This should help them along, too.
49 INT. BATTLESHIP
The two technicians are slumped over small consoles
with little displays, as Azusa stands, fretting. The main
display above the odd-looking device springs to life and
begins blinking a group of symbols again.
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Sire!
AZUSA: (turning) It's going again?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: I think--
AZUSA: (grim) Never mind that! Just do it!
Whatever happened last time, just in reverse!
FIRST TECHNICIAN: Yes, your Majesty!
50 INT. APARTMENT
Ayeka takes Tenchi by the arm and starts heading for
the door as it explodes open. Culeniso throws herself on
them, just as the windows explode--gunfire spraying over
them.
CULENISO: Get down!
Several menacing voices emerge from outside, quickly
approaching, as a bright light engulfs the three. They
vanish, just as the room explodes in flame.
51 EXT. PATH
Lilian is strolling along the path toward the road, as
a bright light appears a few feet away, depositing Tenchi,
Ayeka and Culeniso.
LILIAN: Hells bells! Not again!
AYEKA: That was close!
TENCHI: Those are some friends of yours,
Culeniso!
CULENISO: (smiling) Now, you see what I meant?
At least they think I'm dead, now.
Ayeka gets up, helping Tenchi up.
AYEKA: If those were your friends, I'd hate to
see your enemies.
CULENISO: (casual) Those guys weren't my
friends. They were Juraian. Somehow, they were tipped off
that I was in the area. I don't know how, but they must
have cracked my panic codes.
LILIAN: (bewildered) Hello?
Ayeka glances around in embarrassment, as Tenchi starts
chuckling.
AYEKA: Oh, now I remember you. (greeting Lilian)
Hello, Lilian. I hope my suggestions were helpful.
LILIAN: Huh? Oh. No, I just decided to stay at
Samantha's little hideaway. You know, the old bookstore.
AYEKA: Really? I'm sorry to hear that. Well,
good evening. (turning) I should have stayed in bed.
52 INT. BATTLESHIP
Azusa looks on expectantly, as the display changes, and
the blinking symbols resolve again.
AZUSA: What happened? Did it work?
FIRST TECHNICIAN: It seems like it. This must be
a recon device. It reacted to that signal, then it made a
return with the same signal.
AZUSA: But did it return the princess?
SECOND TECHNICIAN: Yes, your Majesty. But--
AZUSA: (sighing with relief) That's all I want
to hear. Good work, men. This experiment has been a
success. I'll see to it that you receive commendations.
Funaho suddenly appears next to Azusa.
FUNAHO: My Lord, that is good to hear.
Azusa flinches around, mildly surprised.
FUNAHO: (smoothly continuing) This recovered
technology may prove to be useful, yet. For now, it would
be nice to get under way. We've been making preparations
for some time.
AZUSA: (vaguely gesturing) Of course. You may
leave whenever you choose.
Funaho faintly smiles, then turns to leave.
53 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE
Early morning.
54 INT. ENTRANCE
The phone is ringing. Tenchi stops and considers for a
moment, then sighs and answers.
TENCHI: Hello?
A few moments pass and Tenchi slumps.
TENCHI: (VO) Just my luck!
55 EXT. PATH
Tenchi is helping Ryoko down the path. Ryoko is
staggering to keep up.
TENCHI: You know you shouldn't drink, Ryoko.
RYOKO: You're so sweet, Tenchi! I'm just happy
to see you again! Whoa!
Ryoko tries to float, and drifts, then continues
walking.
TENCHI: I need to get an answering machine.
56 EXT. MASAKI SHRINE
Ayeka is sweeping out front when she looks and drops
the broom in surprise. Funaho appears and smiles at her.
FUNAHO: Hello again!
AYEKA: (smiling) Oh! Is she--?
FUNAHO: That's right.
Ayeka grins and trots toward the steps. Yosho opens
the door, looking out, holding a cup of tea.
YOSHO: Mother? (VO) Here we go again.
THE END