Author: Mike Fenton Title: AFS #8 (SOCIAL SILLINESS) Notes: Regular (OVA), script format Summary: A few serious faux pas are narrowly avoided. [Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by Masaki Kajishima. This story comes entirely from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be apocryphal--so please don't sue me.] 1 EXT. FLOATING ONSEN 2 INT. POOLS Ryoko is bathing at the edge of a pool, flanked by a couple trees--awash in morning sunlight. She has a handy bottle of sake nearby, as Ryo-Ohki trots up to the pool, cabbit-form. RYOKO: That stupid princess--always stealing my ideas. Who does she think she is? Ryo-Ohki suddenly transforms into humanoid form and dives into the pool. RYO-OHKI: Miyaah! Ryoko reels in surprise. RYOKO: Gyah! (discovers Ryo-Ohki) Oh, it's just you. Ryo-Ohki is very pleasant for a moment, then frowns. RYO-OHKI: Miya? Ryoko scowls and turns away. RYOKO: No, I don't know. And I don't care, either. That nitwit. She's as bad as that stupid princess. Ryoko grabs the bottle and seems about to drink for a moment, then glares at Ryo-Ohki. RYOKO: And don't touch my sake! RYO-OHKI: (deflated) Miya... Ryo-Ohki frowns for a few moments, as Ryoko drinks, then takes out a carrot. RYO-OHKI: Carrot? Ryoko takes a moment to look shocked, then narrows her eyes. RYO-OHKI: No carrot? RYOKO: (snorting) Honestly! 3 TITLE: "EPISODE 8: SOCIAL SILLINESS" 4 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Ayeka is out front, sweeping, as Noboyuki appears, carrying a small briefcase. NOBOYUKI: Good morning, Ayeka! AYEKA: Good morning, honorable Father. NOBOYUKI: Sweeping again, eh? AYEKA: (a little snide) Someone has to do chores around here. NOBOYUKI: (chuckling) Well, it's nice to see someone who doesn't shirk responsibility. AYEKA: (very pleasant) Of course. Noboyuki suddenly thinks of something. NOBOYUKI: Oh, that reminds me. Father-in-law wanted to see you about something. Said it had something to do with Jurai. I think. I'm not sure. AYEKA: (surprised) Oh! 5 EXT. FOGGY TRAIL (flashback) TSUNAMI: Ayeka, it would never do to have Tenchi marry you just before the emperor arrives. Yosho hasn't been made aware, but the king is coming, and will soon be here. 6 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Ayeka is standing alone, holding the broom. She looks briefly confused, then begins to stroll toward the storage room. AYEKA: Must be a coincidence. That couldn't have really been Tsunami. (VO) Or could it? 7 EXT. THIRD FLOOR BALCONY Tenchi is standing in front of an easel, about to paint. TENCHI: Inspiration... Damn. I'm getting nothing. The painting reveals a blank canvas. 8 INT. GALLERY (flashback) Tenchi is standing in front of an easel, painting, as Cassandra watches from a nearby sofa. Tenchi frowns, and looks back. TENCHI: I don't get it. Cassandra takes out a cigar and lights it. CASSANDRA: What? TENCHI: How you do it. She rolls her eyes, and blows some smoke. CASSANDRA: You begin from inspiration, then you pad in the holes. There is nothing to it, really. TENCHI: (confused) Pad in the holes? She gets up and stands next to Tenchi. She gestures at the easel. CASSANDRA: You have inspiration, right? TENCHI: Right. Sasami enters, looks around curiously, then goes over to stand next to Tenchi. CASSANDRA: The bears and their paws. Think of their art like a way of making those paws extend out at your public. Then sharpen it. The rest is all just padded in the holes. TENCHI: Oh, right. I remember. Bordering. CASSANDRA: The most basic rule in any art. Get the composition. TENCHI: Yeah, but I was always taught the other way. Inside-out. Sasami looks on, a little wide-eyed. SASAMI: Oh, I see. Start at the ends and work your way inward. TENCHI: (frowning) But that doesn't make any sense. How do you go from evoking bear paws to filling in the middle? Cassandra puts a hand on his shoulder, gesturing with her cigar. CASSANDRA: It is all the head, Tenchi. What you make with it is your business, but I can tell you of the experience--the whole best work is made in the margins. The middle is for people that don't get it. SASAMI: (gasping) Wow! I had no idea. TENCHI: (skeptical) You realize that nothing from the margins ever lasts very long? A painting over a hundred years-- Cassandra sighs, stepping back to the sofa. CASSANDRA: Yes, it is cropped. It is a fact of life, Tenchi. All your best work it fades, eventually. Of course, you--as an artist--will be a lot dead before it happens. 9 EXT. THIRD FLOOR BALCONY Tenchi sighs and looks upward. TENCHI: I knew this was a bad idea. Noboyuki slides open the door and enters. He adjusts his glasses and looks over Tenchi's shoulder. TENCHI: Hello, Dad. NOBOYUKI: Minimalism? TENCHI: No, Dad. Just can't seem to get inspired. NOBOYUKI: Oh, I see. What you need is to run an errand. TENCHI: (suspicious, glancing around) An errand? NOBOYUKI: (conspiratorially, beckoning Tenchi a little closer) I need you to find your Grandpa's old stash. TENCHI: Stash? NOBOYUKI: (agreeing) That's right. He's got some old sake hidden away somewhere in the shrine. I want you to go find it. Tenchi folds his arms, a little annoyed. TENCHI: But how am I going to find it? Won't Grandpa be there, at the shrine? Noboyuki clears his throat, explaining. NOBOYUKI: Ah, well, you see--I happen to know that your Grandpa is going to be out of the way for a little while. TENCHI: Doing what? NOBOYUKI: Heaven only knows, Tenchi. All he told me was that he was doing paperwork. Beyond that, I don't think I want to know. TENCHI: (amused) Yeah, I guess I don't blame you. NOBOYUKI: To tell you the truth--ever since all this alien stuff--I've had a lot of suspicions about him. Oh, well. You just run along and find that stash. TENCHI: (rolling his eyes) Right, Dad. Noboyuki frowns, looking around at the easel. NOBOYUKI: Oh, Tenchi-- Tenchi is about to turn toward the door, stops and looks around again. TENCHI: What is it, Dad? NOBOYUKI: (gesturing at the easel) Painting, right? TENCHI: Right. NOBOYUKI: Art? TENCHI: Yeah. NOBOYUKI: You do realize, Son, that art is for people who can't do technical work? Tenchi is a little flabbergasted. NOBOYUKI: (gesturing expansively) It's all right for picking up the ladies, but... You can't be serious. Right? Tenchi sighs, annoyed again. TENCHI: You're right, Dad. It's just a hobby. Tenchi exits, while Noboyuki considers. NOBOYUKI: That's good to hear. 10 EXT. SPACE A cruiser comes to docking position with a space port. 11 INT. CRUISER Mihoshi is sitting asleep in the pilot seat as her grandfather, the marshal, walks in--looking annoyed. He suddenly smiles and puts a hand on her shoulder. MIHOSHI: I'm awake! What? (looking around) Oh, geez! Gran-, I mean, Marshal, Sir-- I-- MARSHAL: Settle down, Mihoshi. We've arrived. Thanks to your excellent navigating, we're early. MIHOSHI: Wow, really? The marshal checks a readout in front of Mihoshi. MARSHAL: We'll have plenty of time to prepare for his Majesty. MIHOSHI: (wide-eyed and nervous) Majesty? You mean, the king--? He nods, looking very satisfied. MARSHAL: Yes. Of Jurai. It seems all our hard work is paying off, finally. MIHOSHI: (a little overwhelmed) Oh, my! This is exciting. I mean, I've never actually met the man. Well, I almost did, but that was right after that little accident and I was just... He sighs, letting Mihoshi rattle on. MARSHAL: (VO) Too bad it's just a brief encounter. Mihoshi's going to be disappointed that she won't actually meet him again. 12 EXT. MASAKI SHRINE Tenchi enters, looking carefully around just before sliding the door closed. 13 INT. SHRINE Tenchi goes to a small closet and looks under a small stack of books, finding a suspicious-looking box--about the size normally used for hauling vegetables, but carefully tied-up with strings. TENCHI: Well, that was easy. This dusty old box looks awfully big for boring old records. Tenchi picks up the box, and carries it toward the center of the room. TENCHI: Not too heavy. He gently shakes it, then raises an eyebrow as he hears the sound of glass against glass in the box. TENCHI: Bingo. The door suddenly slides open. Tenchi is paralyzed with shock, and he glances around. Ayeka enters, swiftly shutting the door. AYEKA: Brother? Are you in here? Oh! Ayeka notices Tenchi, and glances at the box. AYEKA: Lord Tenchi, I didn't see you there. TENCHI: (chuckling, nervous) Oh, it's all right. I was... just running a little errand. AYEKA: For what purpose, might I ask? TENCHI: Oh! It's... nothing, really! (chuckling again) Just a few old things that Dad wanted to take care of. AYEKA: Really? You mean, honorable Father sent you here? TENCHI: Right... She ponders to herself, then blushes and backs toward the door, again. AYEKA: I see. I shall not waste a moment more of your time, Lord Tenchi. I see that you are busy, and I must have assumed a few things incorrectly. TENCHI: (innocently confused) Huh? Oh, no... I mean, whatever you were told, I'm sure it's not your fault. Just an innocent little misunderstanding, I'm sure. Ayeka turns to leave. AYEKA: I'm sure I'll see you when I get back. Good day. Tenchi stares for a few moments, as Ayeka leaves and the door slides closed again. TENCHI: Oh, man! That was too close! I just know Ayeka wouldn't want me to touch this. Tenchi looks at the box, then looks back at the door for a moment, then picks up the box. TENCHI: On the other hand, it was Dad that told me to get this. I can just blame this all on him. 14 EXT. SHRINE STEPS Ayeka finds a small clearing in the trees to hide in. AYEKA: (VO) This is very strange. I wonder what Lord Tenchi is hiding? 15 EXT. FOGGY TRAIL (flashback) TSUNAMI: Yosho would think nothing of tricking Tenchi into making some rash proposal to you. Tenchi is still very naive, after all. 16 EXT. SHRINE STEPS Ayeka looks up and watches as Tenchi goes by, holding the box on his shoulder. AYEKA: (VO) If my brother is planning something, then it must be that Lord Noboyuki... Then when my father comes... Maybe Tsunami was right. 17 EXT. FOGGY TRAIL (flashback) TSUNAMI: (softly) Ayeka, Tenchi's not a child, anymore. Yosho expects far too much of him, and it may cost him his life if the emperor arrives in the middle of all this. Do you understand? 18 EXT. SHRINE STEPS Ayeka grimaces, fretting. AYEKA: (VO) Oh! This is so upsetting! What am I going to do? 19 INT. KITCHEN Sasami looks around, stamps a foot, and groans to herself. SASAMI: Oh! This is so frustrating! I just knew we had some cooking sake in here! Noboyuki enters, adjusting his glasses, inquiringly glancing at Sasami. NOBOYUKI: Something the matter, Sasami? Sasami gasps, then smiles and gives a quick bow. SASAMI: Honorable Father, I'm just working on a little food. NOBOYUKI: Everything all right? It sounded like a crisis in here. SASAMI: (gesturing off-handedly) It's nothing. The food will be fine. NOBOYUKI: (looking around) You sure? Cause if it's the cooking sake, it wouldn't be any trouble getting more. SASAMI: Are you sure? We really don't need any. NOBOYUKI: No, no. It's no trouble. We can always use extra, if we get too much. Noboyuki turns and leaves, just as Sasami is about to object again. Sasami sighs and turns back to the cutting board. 20 INT. ENTRANCE Tenchi enters with the box, just as Noboyuki enters from the kitchen. NOBOYUKI: Ah, perfect timing! Tenchi adjusts the box on his shoulder and gestures toward it. TENCHI: Where do you want this, Dad? NOBOYUKI: I'll take that. Noboyuki takes the box, as Tenchi gratefully hands it to him. Tenchi wipes away some sweat from his forehead, and Noboyuki puts the box on his shoulder. NOBOYUKI: Now, Son, I need you to run into town and get us some more... uh, cooking sake. That's it. TENCHI: (a little exasperated) More sake? NOBOYUKI: (frowning) It's just a little cooking sake. Shouldn't take you more than an hour to get there and back. Take your time, Tenchi. Tenchi heaves a sigh, as Noboyuki turns to leave with the box. TENCHI: Right. NOBOYUKI: (turning again) Oh, and if you happen to bump into your grandpa, don't tell him about any of this. I'm planning a special surprise for him. TENCHI: It's not his birthday or something, is it? NOBOYUKI: Yeah, how did you guess? TENCHI: Never mind. I'll go get the sake, Dad. NOBOYUKI: Have fun, Tenchi! Tenchi and Noboyuki turn to leave--Tenchi toward the front, and Noboyuki goes through to the kitchen, again. Tenchi reaches out to open the door, just as Ayeka slides it open. AYEKA: Oh! TENCHI: Oh, hello again, Ayeka! AYEKA: Hello. Just at that moment, Ryoko appears, holding a bottle of sake. RYOKO: Tenchi--? Hey! (looking around at Ayeka) What are you doing here? Tenchi rolls his eyes for a moment, then smiles. TENCHI: Hey there, Ryoko. You're looking nice today. Ayeka frowns and glares at Ryoko. AYEKA: Really, Ryoko. You are so rude! First, you accost Lord Tenchi for no good reason, then you flaunt yourself all over my person. RYOKO: (confused) Flaunt? AYEKA: (casual, dismissive) Now, if you don't mind, you're standing in the way. Can't you see that Lord Tenchi is waiting for you to step aside? TENCHI: (raising a finger to object) Actually, I-- Ryoko floats a little closer to Ayeka, gesturing with the bottle of sake. RYOKO: Me? What nerve! If anyone's standing in the way, Princess, it's you. And anyway, I only came here to ask a little favor. Ayeka continues feigning indifference, folding her arms. AYEKA: I shall not move aside--not one inch. I have just as much right to stand here as you, if not more. Tenchi sighs again and slumps against the wall. RYOKO: More? What gives you more right to this entrance than me? The fact that you're a princess? Huh? AYEKA: No. Simply speaking, even if you and I were on equal speaking terms--which, I assure you, we are not--you would be obliged to move aside because of one rather obvious difference between us. RYOKO: Oh? And that would be? AYEKA: (grinning) Your size. You've obviously been putting on weight, recently, Ryoko. Ryoko looks at herself speculatively. RYOKO: Putting on--? What the--? Tenchi frowns with apprehension. TENCHI: Oh, boy. Tenchi starts to sneak off toward the side door, as Ryoko continues to appraise herself. RYOKO: You must be crazy, Princess. I haven't gained any weight! AYEKA: You haven't? No, I'd say it's pretty obvious you have. From here it looks like a few inches around your waist, at least. RYOKO: No way! AYEKA: It's true. Or haven't your clothes been a little too tight, recently? Huh? RYOKO: (anxious) Well, I have to admit they did seem a little snug this morning. AYEKA: (laughing) I knew it! You see, Ryoko. I have an eye for these things. Believe me. In another month or so, you'll be like this. Ayeka pantomimes holding a big belly in front of her, as Ryoko gasps and flickers away. At the side door, Tenchi has slid it open when Ryoko appears in front of him, looking sad and anxious. RYOKO: Tenchi. Tell me it isn't true. I'm not actually fat, am I? TENCHI: What? Don't be stupid, Ryoko! You look great! I already told you so! RYOKO: Please, Tenchi! Don't flatter me! I need to know the truth! Now, am I gaining weight or not? Tenchi frowns again, frustrated. TENCHI: Ryoko, you look the same now as you did before. RYOKO: (hopeful, cheering up) Really? Is that true? TENCHI: (smiling, very casual) Trust me. You're not gaining weight. I would've noticed. Ryoko hugs Tenchi, sighing with relief. RYOKO: Oh, that's so sweet of you! Thank you! TENCHI: (nervous) Uh, Ryoko... RYOKO: What? Tenchi is not exactly annoyed, but not entirely at ease. TENCHI: You mentioned that you came here to ask a favor, I think. She pulls away, thinking to herself. RYOKO: I did? TENCHI: Yeah. Ryoko ponders for a moment, then punches herself in the head. RYOKO: Oh, yeah. I remember. I'm just about out of sake. Could you be a sweetheart and get me some more? Tenchi sighs, yet again, and rolls his eyes. TENCHI: (VO) I should have known. Ayeka appears in the hallway and gestures, helpfully. AYEKA: You know, sake can be quite fattening. RYOKO: (gruff) Who asked you? (calm) Please, Tenchi. Just this once. I promise I'll be extra nice about it. TENCHI: Really? You won't get carried away or anything? Because, you know, this is a special day. Oh, wait a minute. I promised not to say anything. Oh, well. Just don't tell anyone else. Tenchi glances back around at Ayeka, chuckling nervously. AYEKA: Special day? RYOKO: I promise, Tenchi. Hurry back! Tenchi runs out the door. TENCHI: See you later! Ayeka walks over to the door, puzzling. AYEKA: What special day is this? RYOKO: (flippant, a little smug) Nothing special for you, I'm sure. AYEKA: (pondering to herself) Really? You think so? (considers for a moment) No. You can delude yourself about your weight all you like, but this is certainly something I'm looking forward to. I can't wait to find out what Tenchi is planning. Ryoko feigns indifference, folding her arms. RYOKO: Sheesh! I'm sure it's nothing. 21 EXT. NEAR GATE Tenchi walks through the gate and greets Azaka and Kamidake, then greets Ryo-Ohki--who is clambering along in cabbit form. Ryo-Ohki transforms into humanoid form and manages a quick bow. TENCHI: Hey, Ryo-Ohki! RYO-OHKI: Miya! TENCHI: Wow, you're making a lot of progress with that bow! And I bet you're going to grow up really fast, too! RYO-OHKI: (shyly looking away) Mi...yah! Tenchi rubs Ryo-Ohki on the head and starts walking down the path. TENCHI: I'll see you soon, Ryo-Ohki. I've got another errand to run. Ryo-Ohki turns and catches up with Tenchi. RYO-OHKI: Miya, miya. Miya. Tenchi stops and looks at Ryo-Ohki again. TENCHI: What? Oh... You want a carrot? RYO-OHKI: Miya! TENCHI: Well, just go pick one, Ryo-Ohki. I'm sure there's plenty left in the patch. RYO-OHKI: (a little petulant) Miya! TENCHI: (considering) Huh? Oh, you want me to pick out one for you? RYO-OHKI: (overjoyed) Miya! TENCHI: (rolls his eyes, then smiles) Oh, okay. But just this once. Tenchi and Ryo-Ohki head off down the path. 22 EXT. SPACE A space station with a couple of cruisers docked alongside. 23 INT. COMM STATION Mihoshi is sitting in front of a display panel, asleep again. The marshal walks in and sighs again, then puts his hand on Mihoshi's shoulder. MIHOSHI: Freeze! Don't move! You're surrounded! The marshall narrows his eyes. MARSHAL: (softly) It's okay, Mihoshi. I'm just directing your attention toward the tactical display. The marshal points at a large display, and Mihoshi follows his gesture. Several groups of symbols are converging slowly toward a round symbol in the middle. MARSHAL: You see that group of warships? MIHOSHI: The Juraian fleet? MARSHAL: Yes. Notice how they seem to be moving directly in between the Galaxy Police cruisers and the Galaxy Union battleships? She leans toward the display. MIHOSHI: Oh my! They're moving pretty fast, too! He gestures toward the symbols on the display. MARSHAL: An astute observation, Detective. And the objective? MIHOSHI: (scowling with thought) To... uh, rendezvous with the station? The marshal types on the console, and the display zooms in on the Galaxy Union battleship symbols. MARSHAL: Negative, Detective. The objective is a frontal assault. As you can see, the battleships are outfitted with specific defensive screens. They are attempting to cloak this with sensor scramblers. MIHOSHI: Wow! I mean, I see, Sir. MARSHAL: We know they're there, and they know we're here, but they don't know that we know. The marshal hits a button on the console, and it switches to the Juraian fleet. MARSHAL: The Juraian fleet has arranged its flights in the usual two-by-three formation, as you can see, but they clearly aren't expecting a direct assault. MIHOSHI: Why not? MARSHAL: Their weapons are diplomatic ones. And they have little to fear--their allies are the Galaxy Union. MIHOSHI: (confused) So, why the frontal assault? He gestures toward the tactical display. MARSHAL: To rid the fleet of traitors. The marshal types for a moment, and the display resolves into the wide display again. MARSHAL: You see, the Galaxy Union is being manipulated by traitors within the Juraian council, and they are aware of the manipulation--they have been for some time. In fact, the Masaki Manifesto was composed to make this clear even to the less perceptive of them. MIHOSHI: So... MARSHAL: So, the emperor moves at the very moment and place that the manifesto says will be his downfall. Obviously, it is the work of traitors. The Union decides that the emperor has maneuvered his opponents into taking the fleet into an ambush, thinking they can curry favor from the emperor later for having done so, but... MIHOSHI: But... Oh, that is the emperor! Leading the fleet, himself? He leans toward the display. MARSHAL: (softly) Precisely. He'll risk taking the fleet himself to avoid collusion between his allies and his enemies. Even at the risk of starting a war. MIHOSHI: (a little shocked) But, why? MARSHAL: (frowning) I'm not exactly sure. It must have something to do with that planet. Earth. She turns toward the marshal. MIHOSHI: So, why don't we stop them? The Union fleet, I mean. MARSHAL: (rubbing his chin) That's what the Galaxy Police cruisers are attempting to do. I'm afraid they aren't being very effective. It wouldn't be wise to contact the emperor, either. He's not likely going to be in a mood to chat. MIHOSHI: (fretting) This is terrible! There must be something we can do! The marshal turns and folds his arms, as if deeply engrossed in thought. MIHOSHI: You know, they could probably avoid this whole thing if someone could get them to talk to each other. MARSHAL: Really? MIHOSHI: Oh, sure! But it would have to be someone the emperor trusts. Someone who's been close to the family for a while. MARSHAL: Hmm... I think you're right, Detective. But who do we know that has been close to his family? Mihoshi grimaces with thought, scratching her head. The marshall's eye twitches, as he frowns with impatience. MIHOSHI: (suddenly gets an idea) Oh! I know! He sighs with relief. 24 EXT. ROADSIDE PATH Ryo-Ohki runs back toward the house, as Tenchi continues down the roadside. TENCHI: See you later, Ryo-Ohki! Now, I can finally get underway. Just then, Yosho appears on the path, coming up from around a bend. YOSHO: Hello, Tenchi! I see you're heading into town, eh? TENCHI: Yeah, Grandpa. YOSHO: Another errand? TENCHI: That's right. YOSHO: (gently surprised) Well, then. I'll find out what your Dad's up to, then, eh? Tenchi grimly continues down the path, past Yosho. TENCHI: Right. See you when I get back! Yosho turns around for a moment, then continues on. YOSHO: (VO) I need to give that boy some advice. It's really for his own good. He's just too serious. 25 INT. COMM STATION A small terminal lights up in front of Mihoshi, as the marshal watches, curious. COMPUTER: Super-interspace secure channel engaged. Please state your password. MIHOSHI: (nervous) Oh, geez! What a time to forget my password! COMPUTER: Password denied, please restate. She turns to the marshal. MIHOSHI: Now, what do I do? He glares at Mihoshi for a few moments, then smiles again. MARSHAL: Mihoshi, you remember how I taught you to remember things? She thinks back for a moment. MIHOSHI: Hmm... Oh, yeah. I remember. You said, 'Always remember things in terms that are simple.' MARSHAL: (calmly explaining) Like the shapes of edges or just the first and last part of something. Then use something you know you'll remember to associate with it. Mihoshi turns back to the console. MIHOSHI: A mnemonic--like something valuable or practical or convenient... MARSHAL: Like a saying or a verse... MIHOSHI: That's right! I remember now. You said, 'For example: There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.' COMPUTER: Password accepted. Channel opened. Mihoshi turns back to the marshal. MIHOSHI: Geez! I don't know how I could have forgotten that! He looks a little anxious, glancing at the tactical display. MARSHAL: Better hurry, Mihoshi. The fleet isn't going any slower. MIHOSHI: (turning back to the console) Got it! 26 INT. RYOKO'S BEDROOM Ryoko is looking at herself a little skeptically in a mirror, shaking her head. RYOKO: That princess is crazy. I haven't gained an inch. No way! She flickers, disappears, then returns again--floating sideways--with a tape measure. She wraps it around her waist, then examines the measurement. RYOKO: (sighing) This is no good. I've never measured myself. Stupid princess. 27 INT. KITCHEN Yosho enters, just as Sasami is finishing some fried up food. YOSHO: Sasami. SASAMI: Hello, Grandpa. YOSHO: Have you seen Tenchi's father? SASAMI: Oh! I don't know. I think he's in the library. YOSHO: Avoiding the mess again, huh? Sasami is a little confused, as Yosho checks a chuckle. YOSHO: Excuse me. Yosho exits into the library, as Sasami glances around the counter, then groans. SASAMI: Oh, I don't believe this! Here's the cooking sake! 28 INT. LIBRARY Yosho enters, adjusts his glasses and sits down across from Noboyuki--who is sitting on the box, reading some books. Noboyuki looks up. NOBOYUKI: Hey there, old man. Say... What are you so happy about? YOSHO: Nothing. NOBOYUKI: (suspicious) Did Tenchi tell you something he shouldn't have? YOSHO: (innocently pondering) Like what, for instance? Noboyuki narrows his eyes, still suspicious. NOBOYUKI: Like what this box is, that I'm sitting on, or why I have it. Yosho looks around at the box, chuckles softly for a moment, and folds his arms. YOSHO: Tenchi isn't really the type. You don't think he's changed, have you? Noboyuki stands up and starts to put the book away. NOBOYUKI: Tenchi? No. Now, a certain father-in-law might suddenly be a mystery to me, but Tenchi... I have no doubts about him. YOSHO: You aren't afraid that he'll grow up lonely and depressed? NOBOYUKI: Why should I? I know he has trouble relating to people sometimes, but... YOSHO: You're right. I used to worry about the same thing, myself. NOBOYUKI: Tenchi knows how to have fun. He just takes his fun very seriously. Noboyuki chuckles to himself, as Yosho stands and gestures at the box. YOSHO: So, what's the occasion? It isn't someone's birthday again, is it? NOBOYUKI: (surprised) You mean, it isn't your birthday? YOSHO: (blankly confused) Huh? NOBOYUKI: (grimacing) Oh, come on! I was sure today was your birthday! YOSHO: Not that I recall. Noboyuki turns and confronts Yosho. NOBOYUKI: So, for all these years I've been wrong about that, too? How many times have I heard Tenchi tell me, 'Don't forget! Today is Grandpa's birthday!' And, now, you say you can't recall? YOSHO: Well... Oh, wait a moment! I remember! (chuckling) When I took my latest identity-- I changed my birthday to today. I completely forgot. Oh, well. The memory fades when you get old, you know. NOBOYUKI: (suddenly suspicious again) Yeah, so they say... 29 INT. KITCHEN Sasami is holding the cooking sake, shaking her head in puzzled amusement. SASAMI: How did this get over there? I could have sworn it wasn't there a minute ago. Ayeka enters and glances around curiously. AYEKA: Sasami, have you seen our brother? SASAMI: Oh, hey, Ayeka. Uh, he just went into the library a moment ago. AYEKA: Thank you very much, Sasami. I was told that he wished to see me. SASAMI: He did? Strange. He didn't say anything to me. Ayeka turns and immediately exits into the library. SASAMI: Nobody ever tells me anything. 30 INT. LIBRARY Ayeka enters, and sees Yosho and Noboyuki standing together, talking. AYEKA: Hello? YOSHO: Ayeka? Ah, nice to see you. NOBOYUKI: Hey there, Ayeka. Ayeka gestures toward the kitchen. AYEKA: My brother, I hate to intrude, but Sasami told me I might find you in here. YOSHO: (restraining a smirk) She did? NOBOYUKI: (eagerly smiling) It's okay, Ayeka. I was just leaving, anyway. AYEKA: (politely blank) Are you sure? I don't mean to be rude. Yosho pats Noboyuki on the back, then turns and sits on the box, gesturing toward Ayeka. YOSHO: It's okay, Ayeka. Come here and sit down. I wanted to have a talk with you, anyway. Noboyuki exits, still smiling as he leaves. NOBOYUKI: I'll see you at supper. Ayeka nervously goes to sit across from Yosho, stiffly sitting and keeping her face composed. YOSHO: Son-in-law tells me he saw you sweeping out front. That was very nice of you. I appreciate it. AYEKA: I enjoy simple chores--the ones you have me doing with Mihoshi are far more exhausting. Yosho chuckles and nervously adjusts his glasses. YOSHO: Mihoshi is a hard teacher, huh? AYEKA: (annoyed) When the student frequently has to correct the teacher, the lessons become difficult, indeed. YOSHO: (laughing) I'm sorry, Ayeka. I can't help but be amused--you did bring this on yourself, though. AYEKA: (a little remorseful) It seems so. I have a knack for "bringing" things on myself, it seems. And you never had a difficult teacher, I suppose? Yosho smiles wryly for a moment, then looks a little nervous. YOSHO: I would not want Mihoshi for a mentor, either. Ayeka folds her arms, frowning. AYEKA: All right, my brother. Out with it. I think we've had enough small talk. YOSHO: You're right, Ayeka. I just wasn't sure how you would react. I'm just a little concerned--that's all. Don't blow it out of proportion. AYEKA: Concerned? What about? YOSHO: About Tenchi, of course. The boy obviously has a lot on his mind, and when Father returns, it won't get any easier for him. AYEKA: (softly) Oh, dear! YOSHO: (looking down) He's been keeping our promise to Father, but there might be trouble. I don't want him to worry too much or do something drastic. AYEKA: (alerted) He knows? YOSHO: (looking up) He had suspected that Father is returning. I don't know how much he knows, but he has developed ties that I know nothing about. Ayeka... Ayeka is suddenly very nervous. YOSHO: (leaning forward) I need you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't do anything that might upset Father. It's very important. Ayeka ponders for a moment, then looks away. AYEKA: I'll try, my brother. But I can promise nothing. Yosho stands and nods to himself. YOSHO: That's all I can ask. AYEKA: (VO) How strange! What could possibly be going on? 31 INT. MAIN HALL Ryo-Ohki is back in cabbit form, eating a carrot, as Ryoko appears. RYOKO: Ryo-Ohki... Tell me, honestly. Do you think I'm gaining weight? RYO-OHKI: Miya? 32 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Afternoon approaches evening. 33 INT. ENTRANCE Tenchi enters with a small package under his arm. TENCHI: Boy! What a nuisance. Ayeka enters from the main hall, as Ryoko appears at the stairs above him. AYEKA: Oh, Lord Tenchi. I see you're back. RYOKO: Did you get my sake, Tenchi? Tenchi takes the package and fishes out a bottle, handing it to Ryoko. Ryoko takes the bottle, gratefully. RYOKO: Oh, boy! Thank you, Tenchi. AYEKA: (smirking) A simple gift for a simple person. RYOKO: (snarling at Ayeka) Shut up, you! There's really nothing simple about good sake. (looking at the bottle) This is good, right? Tenchi looks doubtfully in the bag, taking out the other bottle of sake. RYOKO: Hey! This isn't good sake! This is cooking sake! What is this, Tenchi, a joke? Ayeka cackles evilly, and Tenchi exchanges the other bottle with Ryoko. TENCHI: Sorry. My mistake. AYEKA: No, no, Ryoko. Try drinking the other for a while. It might do wonders for your waistline! Tenchi sighs and wanders off toward the kitchen, as Ryoko descends and grabs Ayeka by the front. RYOKO: Listen, Princess! I have just two words for you... 34 INT. KITCHEN Tenchi enters, frowning and cringing. RYOKO: (OC) Shut up! Tenchi spots Sasami and gives her the sake. TENCHI: There you go, Sasami. I hope it's the right kind. SASAMI: It's okay, Tenchi. It's just like the others. She gestures toward three other bottles of cooking sake on the counter--all just like the one Sasami is holding. TENCHI: Oh, man! I really need to get off this planet. Tenchi is about to enter the main hall, when Yosho appears at the library door and gestures to him. Tenchi curiously walks over to him. YOSHO: (softly) Did you get it? TENCHI: (whispering) I don't know, Grandpa. I got a really bad feeling about this. YOSHO: (rolling his eyes) You always say that, Tenchi. Lighten up, already. TENCHI: (sighing, grimly resolved) She's going to kill us, you know. Especially you. YOSHO: (smiling, encouragingly) Nonsense. Ayeka has a marvelous sense of humor. She'll be laughing about it in two minutes--tops. TENCHI: (glaring back) Somehow, I doubt that. Yosho puts a hand on Tenchi's shoulder, somewhat serious. YOSHO: Just consider it a birthday present, Tenchi. You never get me anything decent, anyway. TENCHI: (looking down, abashedly) Okay, Grandpa. You win. 35 INT. MAIN HALL Ayeka is just finishing some food, as Ryoko lies on a support beam and the others are sitting around the table, talking. Yosho looks at Tenchi. He clears his throat, gesturing with his eyes. Tenchi nervously rolls his eyes, turns to Ayeka, nervously chuckling, then looks serious. TENCHI: Grandpa loves a good birthday party, huh? AYEKA: Yes, he does. TENCHI: Nothing like what you would see in a palace, but... AYEKA: (chuckling) Actually, Lord Tenchi. You'd be surprised how similar this is--but, yes. There are quite a few differences. TENCHI: (working up some courage) Uh... You know, Grandpa and I were talking earlier today... AYEKA: (restraining an look of alert shock) Yes? TENCHI: (sweating) Well, we just started talking about you, and we couldn't stop. Next thing I knew, I realized that there was something really important I wanted to tell you. Ryoko appears behind Tenchi, glancing around. RYOKO: Say what? Tenchi glances back at Ryoko, as Ryoko looks at Yosho inquiringly. Yosho nods and winks back at her. AYEKA: Oh, my! Lord Tenchi, is there something on your mind? I hope it isn't something dreadful. Ayeka glances at Yosho, who suddenly has a blank look of innocent confusion on his face. TENCHI: Uh... I don't want to sound petty or cliche, but I've always thought very highly of you, Ayeka, and I'd really hate to see you leave. AYEKA: (suddenly very nervous) Leave? Whatever for? TENCHI: (scratching his head) Well... Yosho happened to mention that your Father was going to be returning soon-- AYEKA: (glancing around again) He did? TENCHI: (strangely resolved) --and I just wanted you to know that I love you. And I want you to marry me. Sasami face-faults with shock. Ryo-Ohki looks at her with concern. RYO-OHKI: Miya? RYOKO: Oh, come on! AYEKA: (smiling) Marry me? You cannot be serious. RYOKO: Took the words out of my mouth again. Tenchi takes out a small box and holds it out to her. TENCHI: Actually, I am serious. Look. I got this just for you. Ryoko's eyes dart back and forth, and Yosho gesturing at Ryoko. Ayeka opens the box and gasps. AYEKA: I knew it. It had to be a joke. And no one but my brother could possibly be this cruel. The box reveals a tiny carrot with a happy face carved into it--a tongue sticking out. Ryoko falls over Tenchi, laughing, as Ayeka gets up and stiffly leaves. RYOKO: Oh, boy! That was the best, yet! 36 INT. KITCHEN Tenchi is helping wash dishes, as Sasami pouts a little. SASAMI: That was awfully cruel, Tenchi. TENCHI: Yeah, but it was pretty funny. SASAMI: (smiling) A little bit. Ryoko appears and gestures with her sake bottle. RYOKO: A little? That was spectacular! Wasn't it, Tenchi? TENCHI: Yeah... (looking at Ryoko) You know, Ryoko--Ayeka's right. RYOKO: Huh? About what? TENCHI: You are gaining a little weight. Funny, but I didn't notice it till just now. RYOKO: (annoyed) What? TENCHI: (grinning) Just kidding! Geez! THE END