Author: Mike Fenton Title: AFS #2 (PATRIOTIC SILLINESS) Notes: Regular (OVA), script format Summary: A Beta version of Tenchi's fortress problem. [Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by Masaki Kajishima. This story comes entirely from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be apocryphal--so please don't sue me.] 1 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Night sky. Clouds drift past a full moon. 2 INT. MAIN HALL (sofa) Tenchi is writing. Ayeka is sitting next to him, reading a book. Tenchi looks up, lost in thought. TENCHI: Man, I can't get this strange impression out of my head. AYEKA: Hmm... TENCHI: (a little startled) Oh, uh... Sorry, I was just thinking out loud. AYEKA: It's nothing to be sorry about, Lord Tenchi. I suspect you're thinking about Ryoko. Tenchi looks a little uncomfortable, chuckling nervously. TENCHI: Ryoko? Why do you say that? AYEKA: It's quite simple, really. Anytime I get confused, I simply reflect and it is inevitable. That devil-woman is nothing but trouble. You mark my words, Lord Tenchi. She'll get you killed, one of these days. TENCHI: (a little shocked) Ayeka, I was just worried about her. AYEKA: What for? You think she might still be upset? TENCHI: (blankly confused) Upset? About what? AYEKA: About becoming your lover and then having to face your scorn. I know that would cause me nothing but grief. Really, Tenchi. Your memory can be very dim, at times. Tenchi stands, alarmed. TENCHI: Oh my god! I remember, now. Ryoko's split personality. AYEKA: (a little amused) Split personality? Surely, you are jesting... Tenchi turns and looks at Ayeka curiously. TENCHI: Huh? AYEKA: Ryoko has never had a split personality, Lord Tenchi. You know that. TENCHI: What the hell? Didn't you notice? AYEKA: (annoyed) I certainly did. I couldn't help but notice the shameful way you kept leading her around. I was so embarrassed. TENCHI: Leading her around? AYEKA: (smiling) Like a seasoned courtier. It was quite amusing, actually. Tenchi is irritated, and he glares at Ayeka, scolding her. TENCHI: You're not making sense, Ayeka. You know very well Ryoko suffered a split personality. AYEKA: Really? How strange. I remember it quite clearly. Let me think... (pondering for a moment) Ah, yes. You were kissing her--right here, in fact. Tenchi looks incredulous, sitting next to Ayeka again. TENCHI: Here? AYEKA: Yes. Indeed. TENCHI: (introspective) Why do I keep doing this to myself? (annoyed) Is this the kind of thing you do all the time, Ayeka? AYEKA: Thing? You think I'm making this up? (angry) I thought your feelings for me were plain. TENCHI: (startled) Feelings? AYEKA: (upset) Of course! Don't tell me you've forgotten that, as well! Scratching his head. TENCHI: (scowling) I must be dreaming. AYEKA: Don't give me that! I had determined to be rid of you, once and for all. I began an excursion home and then you blocked my way. Tenchi looks very skeptical. AYEKA: Ryoko was quite upset--that much I can say for sure. How Ryo-Ohki was able to catch up with the cruiser, I cannot say. Tenchi is half-convinced that he's dreaming. TENCHI: That never happened. Ayeka closes the book and sighs, taking up the book in one arm. AYEKA: (softly) You are such a tease, Tenchi. Come on, don't keep playing games with me. TENCHI: Ayeka-- AYEKA: (sweetly) Don't be harsh, my love. You'll wake the baby. Tenchi is wide-eyed with shock. TENCHI: Baby? Ayeka is suddenly holding a baby in her arms. AYEKA: Little Yosho is such an angel when he's asleep, but you know how he gets when he wakes up... Tenchi reels in shock. 3 INT. TENCHI'S BEDROOM Tenchi awakens, reflexively looking around. TENCHI: Geez! What a dream. I need a drink. 4 INT. MAIN HALL Ayeka is sitting at the table, holding a cup. She turns in alarm as the door opens. AYEKA: Oh! (softly) I thought you would be asleep, Lord Tenchi. Tenchi pauses for a moment, then begins to turn toward the kitchen again. AYEKA: Tenchi, would you like to share a drink with me? TENCHI: Uh... No, that's okay. I was just looking for something-- AYEKA: (casual) It's quite all right, Tenchi. You go on back to bed. You need your rest. TENCHI: (hesitant, nervous) Hmm... You know, I think I will share a drink. AYEKA: (a little surprised) Really? Tenchi sits next to her at the table. TENCHI: Yeah, but don't go crazy. I'm still a kid, you know. Ayeka smiles indulgently as she pours sake for Tenchi. AYEKA: What an amusing notion. I never lose control, my love-- Tenchi looks a little shocked, and Ayeka is suddenly blushing, a little mortified. AYEKA: I-I mean, Lord Tenchi... (softly) Oh my... Ryoko suddenly appears, looking amused. RYOKO: Hey, Princess. Are you flirting with my Tenchi again? AYEKA: (upset) Certainly not! Ryoko sits between them, watching as Tenchi lifts the cup, sipping gently. RYOKO: Hey, Tenchi. That's not how you drink sake! (pouring) Let me show you how to do that properly. Tenchi glares at Ryoko for a moment, then looks at Ayeka somewhat questioningly. Ayeka rolls her eyes. 5 TITLE: "EPISODE 2: PATRIOTIC SILLINESS" 6 EXT. NEARBY HILL A figure is sitting alone on a hill, dressed in thick clothing--despite the warm weather. It is hunched over something. Sasami approaches cautiously. SASAMI: Hey... Who are you? The figure is a woman wearing a hooded raincoat and dark gloves--she looks around in faint confusion. (The woman seems of ordinary build, soft features, and light, reddish hair. Her face is vaguely piscine--large, delicate eyes. Her demeanor at once evokes a sense of languid ruthlessness and brash agitation.) FIGURE: Oh dear, I seem to have encountered a native. How dreadful. Sasami gasps, stops and considers. SASAMI: An alien! Are you from Australia? The woman stands, looking down at Sasami. FIGURE: Oh! You speak my language! What a relief. Oh... Uh, no. I mean, I am from England. Wales, to be precise. SASAMI: Oh... What are you doing out here? FIGURE: I was sketching, actually. I'm an artist. I was told that this place is about as far from civilization as anything, but I was obviously told wrong. SASAMI: An artist? That sounds exciting. FIGURE: (amused) Oh, heavens no. It is awfully dull. I often wish I had gone into coal mining. SASAMI: (smiling, very pleased) My name is Sasami. Who are you? The figure is briefly confused, then a little mortified. FIGURE: Collins. Samantha Mary Collins of Caernarvonshire. I'm afraid it is a bit of a mouthful. My friends usually just call me Sammy. Sasami is curious, still a little cautious. SASAMI: What are you sketching? Scenery? FIGURE: My own hand, actually. Uh... If you don't mind, I would prefer to keep this work private. Tenchi is approaching, Ayeka and Ryoko staggering shortly behind. SASAMI: Why is that? You haven't finished yet? FIGURE: No. I'm just awfully shy. I hate to share my work. SASAMI: Then why are you an artist? FIGURE: Well-- TENCHI: Sasami? What are you doing up so late? You know it's the middle of the night. SASAMI: I found a visitor. She's from England. TENCHI: England? (turning to the figure) Hello. How do you do? I'm Tenchi. FIGURE: You speak my language, as well? AYEKA: Of course, we do. We know all the primitive tongues of this world. Ryoko, however, looks very confused. RYOKO: What the hell are all of you babbling about? Tenchi seems a little embarrassed. AYEKA: Oh! Except Ryoko, of course. RYOKO: (a little indignant) That was an insult. I just know it. The woman looks around and then back at her sketch pad. FIGURE: Hello. Sorry if I'm being rude, but I was told this place was completely isolated. SASAMI: She's an artist. Samantha Collins. AYEKA: Then what are you doing out here? This is private property, you know. FIGURE: Actually, I was told that everything from here to the shrine is public land. The shrine itself is owned by an old man of the Masaki clan, if I remember correctly. TENCHI: (chuckling nervously) That's my name. Masaki, that is. FIGURE: Oh. Oh, I see. RYOKO: What are you all saying? I can't get a word of it. SASAMI: (to Ryoko) The lady's an artist from England. She's just sketching something. TENCHI: An artist? (to the figure) Aren't you cold out here? It's pretty dark. You need a light? The woman sighs, annoyed. FIGURE: No, thank you. I just need to be left alone, if you don't mind. TENCHI: Please. You really should come in after dark. I'd hate to leave someone alone up here. Ayeka glances at Tenchi curiously. AYEKA: Yes. Otherwise, we'll do nothing but distract you. I know you wouldn't want that, now would you? The figure is briefly annoyed, then smiles nicely. FIGURE: No, that would be tragic. Sorry. I'm afraid I am rather rude. (putting the pad in a pocket) I shall just have to incline, I suppose. It's the only polite thing to do. 7 INT. MAIN HALL Mihoshi is sitting at the table drinking, as Ayeka, Ryoko, Tenchi and Samantha enter. AYEKA: So, what do you think of the house? SAMANTHA: You mind an honest opinion? TENCHI: No. Please. What do you think? Ryoko is very bored and annoyed. SAMANTHA: Appalling. Simply awful. How can you stand to live here? AYEKA: You think so? SAMANTHA: Well, it has a certain rustic charm, but the design is all wrong. I mean, really! Tenchi sighs, somewhat indulgent. SAMANTHA: Hallways, walkways, stairs, balconies, hanging lights--! Oh! Who designed this place? TENCHI: My father. AYEKA: There are hallways and stairs in England, aren't there, Samantha? Mihoshi looks on, curiously, as Samantha looks around again. SAMANTHA: Yes, but not so many all in one place. Oh! This is so disorienting... (seeing Mihoshi) Oh! MIHOSHI: Hello. SAMANTHA: Oh my! Another one? TENCHI: Mihoshi, this is Samantha Collins. She's an artist from England. MIHOSHI: Hi! I'm-- SAMANTHA: Is that all? I should be getting back to my lodgings. I don't think this is working out at all. Mihoshi looks around lamely at Tenchi and Ayeka as Ryoko glares out a window, and Ayeka folds her arms, a little irritated. Tenchi chuckles and makes a generous gesture. TENCHI: Well, if you have to leave, I understand, but I wish you could stay a little longer. AYEKA: (to Tenchi, softly) Really? SAMANTHA: (very stiff) No, I simply must be about my business. This will never do. She gets up and starts to say something when the wrist- band starts beeping at her. MIHOSHI: Oh my! (looking at her wrist, briefly) TENCHI: What is it, Mihoshi? MIHOSHI: I need to report in. Something about a full-scale investigation... Samantha watches, curiously, as Mihoshi takes her control cube and twists it. Mihoshi flickers, reappears in her uniform for a moment, then promptly vanishes. SAMANTHA: Uh-- RYOKO: Are we all done yet? I wanted to get back-- TENCHI: Ryoko. You're in no condition to be wandering around. It's getting a little too late to be looking around-- AYEKA: (a little alarmed) Samantha, it was a pleasure, to be sure. Please come again, soon. I hope you are not offended, but we must all turn in. Isn't that right, Tenchi? TENCHI: (confused) Huh? AYEKA: I said, we should be going to sleep, soon. Isn't that right? SAMANTHA: (still a little shocked) Did you see that? Ryoko glares at Ayeka. RYOKO: There's something going on here. Tenchi, are you trying to get Ayeka to sleep with you? TENCHI: Ryoko! We're just trying to be polite! We have a guest, you know. Ryoko pouts for a moment, then scowls. RYOKO: So you say! I don't believe a word of it. Tenchi seems about to continue, as Ryoko flickers and vanishes in a huff. Samantha watches in growing horror. SAMANTHA: Oh dear! I think someone should really-- AYEKA: It's all right, Samantha. There's really nothing to be alarmed about. Everyone here is harmless. SAMANTHA: But, the-- uh-- Tenchi chuckles again, wryly amused. TENCHI: No, really. It's pretty strange, but you get used to it. AYEKA: Yes. Nothing to be alarmed about. Azaka and Kamidake promptly appear, moving toward Ayeka. KAMIDAKE: Your Highness, please take cover! Ayeka is suddenly wide-eyed in shock. 8 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Three huge lights descend from the sky, making a thunderous roar as they fall to the ground. A huge cloud of dust billows all around. 9 INT. MAIN HALL The walls tremble for a moment, and then the windows shatter just before a monstrous explosion thunders through the air. One of the largest shards of glass narrowly misses Samantha, cutting a rather ugly gash in the floor a few inches from her. Azaka and Kamidake stand near Tenchi and Ayeka. Samantha looks up, trembling, as Ayeka releases the spherical force field from around herself and Tenchi. TENCHI: Are you all right, Samantha? SAMANTHA: Quite all right, in fact. Samantha gets up quickly and looks out the window. AYEKA: I could have used a bit more warning. KAMIDAKE: Sorry, Highness. We came as soon as we could. SAMANTHA: (a little upset) Just what the bloody hell is going on around here?! Tenchi scratches his head. TENCHI: (muttering) Boy, I sure wish I knew. Ryo-Ohki appears, child-form, and looks around at Samantha. SAMANTHA: Oh, my word! RYO-OHKI: (just managing) Australian? TENCHI: No, Ryo-Ohki. The lady's from England. SAMANTHA: Uh-- AYEKA: Now, Ryo-Ohki. Let's be nice. She's a foreigner. How do we greet foreigners? Ryo-Ohki thinks for a moment, then bows, very nicely. Samantha scowls with confusion for a moment, then promptly faints, face-first. 10 INT. WEST HALL A figure in a strange military uniform is skulking through the hall. He pauses for a moment in thought, then enters Tenchi's room. Ayeka and Tenchi walk past (in the east hall) carrying Samantha between them. 11 INT. EAST HALL Tenchi pauses for a moment to catch his breath. TENCHI: Boy, she's heavier than she looks. AYEKA: I smell something, Tenchi. I think she was drinking whiskey. TENCHI: (nonplussed) Whiskey? How do you know that? Ayeka is holding a small silver flask. AYEKA: Just a hunch. They continue down the hall. TENCHI: She'll be out for a while. We'd better keep an eye on her, though. AYEKA: Yes. You never know about these artists. TENCHI: You have something against artists? AYEKA: No, but they can be notoriously capricious. Better to be safe. They enter Ayeka's room and drag Samantha in with them. 12 INT. SOUTH HALL Ryoko appears for a moment, looks around and promptly vanishes. Another figure appears, cloaked in a strange robe. He skulks up the stairs, heading straight for Noboyuki's room. 13 INT. EAST HALL Tenchi opens the door and exits, Ayeka close behind. AYEKA: Tenchi, don't leave us alone with a strange woman! TENCHI: Just getting some fresh air. I think you're right, Ayeka. That whiskey leaves some kind of bizarre smell, all right. AYEKA: Don't you find it peculiar that this woman turned up right before some odd attack on us? I'd feel safer if we were all together. TENCHI: Just let the guardians handle it... AYEKA: Azaka and Kamidake are guarding the house, Tenchi. I can't spare them to help look after strangers. Tenchi sighs, somewhat annoyed. TENCHI: All right, but we're going to sort all this out in the morning. Tenchi and Ayeka go back into Ayeka's room, just as the figure in Noboyuki's room emerges again. FIGURE: (softly) I knew it. Just where I suspected. (looking around) Oh boy, voices-- I'd better get going! The figure takes out a curious boxy device and hits a switch. He flickers and vanishes. 14 INT. WEST HALL The figure in the military uniform emerges from Tenchi's room, looking annoyed. FIGURE: Damn diplomats. One stupid wild goose chase after another. I'll bet this is nothing, again. He skulks into the east hallway, heading toward Noboyuki's room. Ryoko appears a moment later, looking around, very irritated. RYOKO: Tenchi? (under her breath) Where did he disappear to? 15 INT. EAST HALL The figure in the military uniform enters Noboyuki's room, just as Ryoko enters the hall. RYOKO: He didn't go back to bed already, did he? Ryoko flickers and vanishes from the hall. 16 INT. AYEKA'S BEDROOM Samantha is lying in a futon, looking up, as Ayeka and Sasami look on. Tenchi is sitting with his back to the door-- arms folded--looking fairly irritated. SAMANTHA: Oh! Hello? What am I doing here? SASAMI: You passed out. AYEKA: Yes. We thought you'd be out all night. SAMANTHA: Oh! Well, thank you very much, but I really need to be on my way. Samantha starts to sit up. AYEKA: I don't think that's a good idea, Samantha. It's not entirely safe outside, right now. SASAMI: We'll be safe in here, right Tenchi? TENCHI: (not very enthusiastic) Oh, sure. Yeah. SAMANTHA: Safe? What's going on around here? Did I really see that blonde woman vanish and that other curious creature-- AYEKA: (indulgently) There's no need for alarm, Samantha. It is as I said before. Everyone here is harmless. Samantha flinches in anticipation. SASAMI: (amused) You're funny. We have lots of strange visitors all the time. It's nothing, really. TENCHI: Okay, Sasami. Let's all just get some sleep. I'm sure Samantha is pretty worn out. Ayeka brandishes the flask. AYEKA: Yes, and I would have guessed that this would have kept you out. You must not be much of a teetotaler. Samantha is indignant, almost snarling. SAMANTHA: I'm not a bloody yank! We civilized creatures have a thing called moderation, you know. Samantha folds her arms and lays back. Sasami looks at the flask, curiously. SASAMI: What is that? AYEKA: Nothing you need to be concerned with, child. SASAMI: Is that what smells in here? AYEKA: Yes. That, and our strange friend here. Samantha sits up, a little outraged. She reaches around and snatches the flask. SAMANTHA: How insulting! I happen to know every word you're saying! AYEKA: (a little embarrassed) Oh my! Tenchi briefly grins, as Sasami chuckles. SASAMI: You can speak Japanese, too? SAMANTHA: Enough to know that I'm not welcome here. (getting up) Out of my way, boy. I'm leaving. 17 INT. EAST HALL A figure in a sloppily-worn uniform appears and opens the door to Ayeka's bedroom. (The figure is a man with sharp features--distinctive cheeks and brows. He seems lightly mercurial and plaintively magnetic--a man given to as much clownish fumbling as courageous directing. His boyish features clash with his darkening aspect.) FIGURE: Where are you hiding that flag? 18 INT. AYEKA'S BEDROOM Azaka and Kamidake promptly appear, moving just behind Samantha, as she confronts the figure, slapping him in the face. SAMANTHA: Out of my way, you pervert! Samantha exits, stiffly clinging to a bit of dignity. AZAKA: It's the intruder, your Highness. We followed him here. AYEKA: Good work, Azaka. Take this rude man downstairs. We'll show him the proper welcome for unwanted visitors. TENCHI: Uh-- AYEKA: (looking around) Lord Tenchi, you and Sasami should wait up here. I want to ask our impertinent friend a few questions, and it might turn a little unpleasant. 19 INT. WEST HALLWAY Samantha looks around, trying find her bearings. SAMANTHA: What kind of lunatic designs a house with three sets of hallways? (looking up) Oh dear! Ryoko appears in a flash. RYOKO: You! Where's my Tenchi? SAMANTHA: (briefly translating) Oh, the boy was in that room, last I saw. Ryoko seethes in anger for a moment. RYOKO: I knew it! That princess just can't keep her hands off him! Ryoko turns, about to leave, then turns again, as Samantha starts down the steps toward the west landing. RYOKO: Uh-- Oh, never mind. Ryoko flickers and vanishes. 20 INT. MAIN HALL (balcony) Samantha enters, looking down briefly as Azaka and Kamidake appear with the figure dressed in the sloppily-worn uniform. She nearly bumps into Ayeka--who is striding, purposeful. AYEKA: Oh! Excuse me. Samantha stops and watches as Ayeka continues down the stairs. SAMANTHA: (muttering) This place is a madhouse. 21 INT. AYEKA'S ROOM Tenchi is leaning next to the door, as Sasami looks up at him, a little wide-eyed. TENCHI: Stay here, Sasami. I'm worried. You know how Ayeka likes to overreact. SASAMI: I'm not staying up here by myself. TENCHI: Sasami-- Ryoko appears, looking a little flustered. RYOKO: All right, Princess-- Where the hell did she go? Tenchi grimaces, disgusted. SASAMI: She's gone downstairs again. We caught an intruder. RYOKO: Another one? (muttering) I've got some questions that need answering right now. Tenchi looks around, about to gesture, as Ryoko flickers and vanishes. TENCHI: Ryoko-- Damn! (sigh) Come on, Sasami. This is getting out of hand. 22 INT. MAIN HALL Ayeka is sitting at the sofa, getting comfortable, holding a cup of tea. She takes a sip. The figure in the sloppily-worn uniform fidgets, looking around at Azaka and Kamidake nervously. Samantha is sitting at the table, drinking from her flask, watching curiously. Ryoko appears in a puff of absurdity, scowling at Ayeka. Tenchi and Sasami appear at the balcony, looking down at Ryoko. Samantha chuckles and takes a swig. 23 INT. EAST HALL The figure in the military uniform emerges and snarls to himself. FIGURE: Damn! Stupid diplomats. Always sticking their noses where they don't belong. Serves him right. The figure waves an ordinary-looking cylinder around in the air and dissolves. 24 EXT. SPACE A Galaxy Police cruiser, docked with a small shuttle. 25 INT. CRUISER Several GP officers in special uniforms appear in the cockpit, looking around curiously. FIRST OFFICER: Mihoshi? Damn! Where is that flake? SECOND OFFICER: Never mind about her. Let's just leave the specifications and go. FIRST OFFICER: Why? You in a hurry? SECOND OFFICER: You better believe it. These diplomatic missions always make me nervous. The first officer is about to leave, then looks around, sighing. FIRST OFFICER: You others go on ahead. I just remembered one more thing. Don't leave without me! The first officer takes out a small pad and presses a few buttons in rapid sequence. He then types at a small console at the control. A moment later, Yukinojo appears. YUKINOJO: Officer Kantabaro, how may I be of assistance? OFFICER: First of all, it's 'Special Agent.' I've had a field promotion. Secondly, I need to confirm the duty assignment of detective Mihoshi. YUKINOJO: Miss Mihoshi has been briefed on our current situation, and should be arriving at any moment. OFFICER: Good. Oh... Don't follow the homing beacon on your return trip. The beacon has been experiencing some technical difficulties, lately. I'm afraid three other ships just crashed on Earth about an hour ago. YUKINOJO: I will be certain to relay this information. 26 EXT. MASAKI SHRINE A light flicks on in the front office. 27 INT. SHRINE A figure cloaked in a strange robe approaches Yosho. Yosho is sitting at a table, undisturbed. YOSHO: You found the artifact, I take it. FIGURE: Yes. It was right where I assumed she would leave it. The figure takes out a strange flag. FIGURE: The Jurai Supreme Council will be most grateful that I found this, certainly. Yosho pauses for a moment, considering. YOSHO: Yes, I'm sure they will be. 28 INT. MAIN HALL The figure in the sloppily-worn uniform sighs, a little exhausted. FIGURE: For the last time, my name is Smith Harvingson. I'm from Wyoming. Ryoko looks ready to pull her hair out. RYOKO: What? AYEKA: Do stay out of this, Ryoko. The man obviously doesn't understand you. Ryoko growls and folds her arms, pouting. Tenchi and Sasami stand nearby, looking on curiously. AYEKA: Yes, we have heard this all before, but it doesn't explain why you are snooping around in here, uninvited. I would prefer to forego drastic measures, but if I must-- TENCHI: You were on that spaceship that crashed just now. FIGURE: Spaceship? What are you talking about? TENCHI: (nicely) Come on, just admit it. You're not from America. Samantha appears, standing next to the side chair. She takes a sip of some tea, and looks carefully at the figure. AYEKA: You were snooping around the rooms above. You asked about some silly flag. Don't give me that nonsense about being a tourist. FIGURE: The flag was part of my special collection. I'm a world-traveller. AYEKA: You mean you are wealthy enough to travel the world, but so inadequately organized that you lose a flag in a stranger's house? FIGURE: Uh... yeah. That's it. I'm eccentric. AYEKA: (amused) My, my. I'm a bit eccentric, myself. Maybe you've noticed my bodyguards. They can be quite fanatical in their duty to me. I wonder if you wish to find out how much so. SASAMI: Ayeka-- AYEKA: Sasami, it is far too late for you to be up. Go to bed, this instant. Tenchi yawns, exhausted. TENCHI: Yeah, you better go on, Sasami. I don't think anything's going to happen, now. Tenchi and Sasami exit, as Samantha sits in the chair, curious. SAMANTHA: You're from Wyoming? FIGURE: Uh... Yeah, that's right. I lived on a ranch. SAMANTHA: Where exactly? What town? FIGURE: Cheyenne. Samantha smiles, taking a quick sip. SAMANTHA: Cheyenne. Yes. That's just a stone's throw from Laramie, isn't it? FIGURE: (a little uncertain) Huh? Oh, yeah. I've been there, too. SAMANTHA: Oh! So, you must have been to Rock River? Elk Mountain? Hawk Springs? FIGURE: Oh, yeah. Who hasn't been? (nervous) You've been there? Ayeka looks at Samantha, curiously. SAMANTHA: I can't say that I have. I mean, not in the crowded parts of Wyoming, that is. Now, the northern parts--I've recently been there. Sundance, Gillette, Newcastle... That's where all the real artists are. FIGURE: Out in middle of nowhere, you mean. SAMANTHA: Yes. America is so amusing to me. FIGURE: Really? SAMANTHA: Quite. For example, did you know that Laramie is in the Laramie mountains, but not in Laramie county? The figure looks around at Ayeka, who is pondering carefully. FIGURE: Oh, sure. It's common knowledge. SAMANTHA: You lived there, after all. You must know this. FIGURE: Uh... SAMANTHA: It's an old Wyoming joke, after all. 'No, boy. Laramie ain't in Laramie...' The figure scowls with confusion, and Ayeka looks a little annoyed, pondering. SAMANTHA: Oh, come on. Admit it. You're not from Cheyenne. If you were, you'd know the rest of that. I'm from Wales, and even I know that one. AYEKA: Yes, now that we've cleared up that silly little business, it's time for you to be honest. I can assure you, you will not escape, and I will not let you leave until I get some answers. FIGURE: Forget it! Ayeka stands, visibly annoyed. AYEKA: We're wasting our time. Azaka! Kamidake! The guardians bring the figure forward for a moment, just as a thundering roar begins to escalate. 29 EXT. SKY A shooting star crosses the sky. 30 EXT. DISTANT HILLS A huge explosion engulfs several square miles. 31 INT. SHRINE Yosho stands, looking out a window. He ponders to himself, and takes a sip of tea. YOSHO: (VO) Someone should fix that beacon, already. Four times in one night! 32 EXT. SPACE A cargo ship cruises by. 33 INT. CARGO SHIP Two figures cloaked in strange robes are sitting across from each other--surrounded by crates. FIRST FIGURE: We should work on the manifesto, now. I think this incident will make the treaty more consolidated. SECOND FIGURE: You just made sure he got the Beta flag? FIRST FIGURE: Very sure. SECOND FIGURE: That's good. FIRST FIGURE: So, what's next? How does any of this help us? Are we going to work on the manifesto? SECOND FIGURE: Hmm... No, we need to see if that emperor takes the bait. If he moves, we use the manifesto. Otherwise-- FIRST FIGURE: Huh? Oh, the manifesto will be written to look as if it was composed in the Supreme Council! SECOND FIGURE: (smug) Exactly. Then we clear out all this raider scum and sweep up--just the way we always do. The first figure leans forward, a pose of deep thought. FIRST FIGURE: Will he move? The emperor has many good councilors. They'll sense our involvement, if they haven't already. SECOND FIGURE: You mean Yosho... Of course, he knows. He and I go way back... He'll be busy enough if his father decides to commandeer the site. We won't need to worry. Meanwhile, I've contacted another old friend... 34 EXT. MASAKI HOUSE Morning rays beat down on scenic countryside. 35 INT. MAIN HALL Yosho is standing near the shattered windows, looking annoyed. Mihoshi descends the steps, looking cheerful. YOSHO: Mihoshi, have you seen Tenchi? MIHOSHI: Uh... I don't know. Oh, wait. I remember! He said something about going to meet Honorable Father this morning, yesterday. Yosho takes a moment to comprehend. YOSHO: I must remember to have a little talk with Tenchi. This mess is inexcusable. MIHOSHI: (a little mortified) Oh! Well, I think this was all my fault. Although, technically, I think it was that beacon. I don't know why it wasn't working right. I wish someone had told me before I came back here. Yosho looks very annoyed. 36 INT. KITCHEN Sasami is cooking, as Ayeka enters, fairly disheveled. SASAMI: Good morning, Sis! How did it go, last night? AYEKA: (haggard) I'm afraid it did not. SASAMI: What do you mean? What happened to the intruder? AYEKA: (softly) Nothing. I'm at a loss, right at the moment. Sasami looks around, somewhat mortified. SASAMI: I'm sorry I followed you outside so late. AYEKA: Hmm? Oh, yes. It was awfully reckless of you. SASAMI: I know. But Ryo-Ohki wasn't around, and I was hoping that you would find her. (turning again) I hate being stuck here by myself. AYEKA: Wasn't Mihoshi here? SASAMI: I think Mihoshi likes to be alone sometimes. I kept calling out, but she never showed her face. AYEKA: Now, now. You know Mihoshi simply gets distracted at times. Sasami looks a little sullen, doubtful. 37 EXT. NEAR GATE Azaka and Kamidake are standing guard, along with a couple of men in GP uniforms. A few other men in GP uniforms are marching out toward the wooded hillside. Tenchi is approaching the gate, holding a couple of small bags, walking alongside Samantha and Noboyuki. Noboyuki is talking with a figure in a sloppily-worn uniform. NOBOYUKI: Diplomatic immunity? (playful) So, I can't have you arrested and thrown in a prison, somewhere? FIGURE: Yeah, that's right. It's not much, though. SAMANTHA: He's just a courier. NOBOYUKI: So, you're stranded here? FIGURE: No. I can get my cruiser going. I'll just need a few parts. It shouldn't be too much trouble with all these cops hanging around. A man in GP uniform stops them for a quick inspection. FIRST COP: (gesturing at Samantha and the figure) Who are these two? NOBOYUKI: He's from Beta. He's got diplomatic immunity. TENCHI: This is Samantha Collins. She was invited here, but I'm a little skeptical about that, at the moment. FIRST COP: You want us to check her out? TENCHI: No, no. That's okay. I'll just ask Grandpa. He'll know all about it, if anyone. They enter past the cops, and start across the walkway. Azaka and Kamidake turn to the cops. AZAKA: Wasn't that the guy who got away last night? KAMIDAKE: I'm afraid so. How embarrassing. FIRST COP: If he's a diplomat, then I'll be Juraian prince. SECOND COP: (snorting) You've got that right. 38 EXT. WALKWAY Noboyuki and the figure are in a conversation, as Samantha laughs and rolls her eyes. SAMANTHA: Yes. My grandpa is always trying to marry me off to royalty, too. It's such a chore! I hope you aren't offended, but I sympathize. TENCHI: They don't mind you running off to exotic places? SAMANTHA: Oh, heavens. Yes, they mind! I always tell them I'm practicing my art--which I am. I'm not looking for a mentor, though. I just know Grandpa would figure out a way to mess that up. TENCHI: I hope it works out. You know, marrying into royalty is probably not all that bad. SAMANTHA: Are you kidding? You know how unpleasant their lives get? You remember how much fuss they've had just recently? I shudder at the thought. Tenchi smiles, encouraging. TENCHI: It's all right, Samantha. You just have to give it a chance. The four are approaching the entrance. SAMANTHA: Over my dead body. NOBOYUKI: Hey, Son. Kilaro has been telling me all about the diplomatic corps. They have lots of openings for interpreters and diplomatic consuls. FIGURE: It's pretty boring work, though. You'll need to hang around with me for a while, or you could get lost in it. TENCHI: Uh... No thanks, but I think I have enough to do, right at the moment. 39 INT. MAIN HALL Ayeka and Mihoshi are sitting at the table with Yosho, as Sasami sets out some dishes. Tenchi and Samantha enter, looking around curiously. SASAMI: Oh, Tenchi! Welcome back! TENCHI: Hey, everybody. Grandpa. YOSHO: Good morning, Tenchi. AYEKA: Good morning. Yosho is pleasant, not the least bit annoyed. YOSHO: Tenchi, is your father around? TENCHI: Huh? Oh, yeah. He just went back outside. He wanted to help find some parts for Kilaro. YOSHO: Tenchi, would you please introduce us? Tenchi is confused for a moment, then looks around at Samantha. TENCHI: Oh! Uh... Yeah. Grandpa, this is Samantha Collins. We found her last night, out by the hill overlooking the training grounds. Samantha is a little bored, but dignified. SAMANTHA: Hello. I hope my English isn't too much of a hassle. YOSHO: (amused) No, no, young woman. Your English is very good, actually. SAMANTHA: (to herself) How clever. (speaking up) I'm sorry, but I was told that this place was completely deserted. Yosho smiles, as the others exchange looks. SAMANTHA: I only came here at the advice of that dubious young man who operates a local restaurant, and I... Uh-- Oh, dear. I think I see a pattern, here. YOSHO: Yes, I arranged that. So, what do you think? SAMANTHA: It is quite isolated, and I can understand why. YOSHO: So, you won't tell anyone? SAMANTHA: (chuckling) Who would believe me? No, I'm afraid it is quite out of the question. As long as my work goes unnoticed, I swear I shall not whisper a word of this. AYEKA: Your work? YOSHO: Yes, Ayeka. Samantha is an aspiring artist. She was also instrumental in helping avoid a nasty misunderstanding last night, if my guess is correct. Ayeka gasps in shock. SAMANTHA: Quite correct. I could see that the princess was getting nowhere with her own questions. So, I took matters into my own hands. TENCHI: (softly) That explains that. AYEKA: (a little angry) I should have known. You're all out to make fun of me. (pouting) I won't play along any more! Tenchi sits across from Ayeka, concerned. TENCHI: Ayeka, you're getting carried away, again. AYEKA: I am not! TENCHI: Stop acting like a child! Ryoko appears, giggling, putting an arm around Tenchi. RYOKO: Good morning, Tenchi. Samantha looks briefly surprised, then grins. Sasami frowns for a moment, looking at Ayeka, then sits at the table. SASAMI: Let's eat! TENCHI: (sighing) Good morning, Ryoko. Samantha briefly scowls in irritation. SAMANTHA: (VO) I just know Grandpa had something to do with this! THE END