-INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM THE COOLEST PERSON ON THE PLANET- Hey, guys, what's goin on? -TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED BY GITARO THE METALHEAD- Take that Mr. Coolest guy! Here I am, once again. Back for another chapter. I guess I like doing this too much. And I guess you like reading this, otherwise you wouldn't be here. So I will dispense of the pleasantries, and give you the story right away. And Davner, you had better be reading. You're my arch-rival here, and I need your feedback the most. You prick ^_- ~> ON WITH THE SHOW! -TRANSMISSION OVER- Tenchi Muyo!: Culture Shock Chapter 5: The Domain, and It's Master Captain Whacky goes to Space! (ver 1.2, edited for mistakes and formatted to better fit this screen!) Starring: James Padilla as Jameso. Terry McMahon as Ter'ay by Gitaro the Peppermint-Breath Metalhead *** It had been several days since Bryan and Tenchi fought. Again, as had been happening over and over, the two foes' eyes met. And again, they pondered each others thoughts. < My god... it was me... > Bryan was *still* obsessing over the idea that Ryoko had been hurt because of him. It sucked for Bryan, mainly because he really didn't want to apologize to Tenchi. < I suppose it could really be either of our fault... > Meanwhile, Tenchi had calmed quite a bit. The burden of the girls' feelings for him had been completely absent these last few days. It was almost like a vacation. A very restricted vacation, (as far as his limbs were concerned) but welcome, nonetheless. He was almost willing to forget about what Bryan did to him... almost. < I wonder what he's thinking about... > He wondered. Bryan by now had shifted to less intelligent thought. < ...Man this cast is giving me a wedgie! > *** Ryoko crept into Bryan's room, hearing some strange music she had never heard come from his room before. It was so different, and strangely calm, in a sick way. Could it be a love song? She slowly opened the door, and saw Sasami standing, facing the CD Player. Her back was to Ryoko. < No way. > Ryoko managed a bit of a smile. < Could she possibly have something for ...Bryan? > Ryoko listened to the music some more. It was so sad. As it ended, Ryoko could actually feel a hole moving into her heart. She had wanted to hear it again, and apparently so did Sasami, because she hit the 'reverse' button. The song started somewhat soft and happy sounding. An odd drum beat soon accompanied it, and the singer chimed in soonafter. The lyrics reminded her, strangely, of herself. They hit her hard. { I climbed your arms... } Something Ryoko had so often done to Tenchi. { You pulled away, } Something Tenchi had so often done to her. { A new cavity moved into... My heart today. } Ryoko had wanted to get close to Tenchi for so long, and he had been constantly pushing her away. He may not have meant it, but it hurt her feelings, deeply, every time he did it. She couldn't have said it better herself. She hadn't even seen Tenchi for at least four or five days. The last few days were spent contemplating her future. { The more she sings, The more it seems Now I'm through... } Now I'm through. The words seemed to imply a new existence. A new life, absent from the heartache that Tenchi's absent love caused. { Now I'm through, } Could she be? Could she really turn her back on Tenchi? Of course she could. If she could murder innocent lives, she could certainly forget about one stupid boy, whether she had been under control or not. { With the new you... } The new Tenchi. The one that had betrayed her for Ayeka. This was the Tenchi she would be leaving, not the Tenchi she thought she had known. Not the boy she had watched grow up. { Now I'm through, With the new you... } This could be the end. Or maybe a new beginning. { ...New you... } She turned around, unnoticed by Sasami. Ryoko knew what she was going to do. Leave. There was nothing else she could do. She sure as hell wasn't going to stay around to watch the 'romance' unfurl before her eyes. To her, it was obvious Tenchi had made his choice. < I'm through, Tenchi. > she thought. < ...through with you, Ayeka, and all of your crap. I've waited, and you left me for someone who couldn't possibly love you like I could. And I guess that's what you really want. Fine. > She shed the last tear of sorrow she would ever shed for Tenchi, and proceeded to leave. Her heart slowly petrified. She walked down the hall a bit, and let out a thought. < Let's go Ryo-ohki.... You knew we would leave, someday. > She could hear the cabbit's response in her mind. < Miyyaaaaa? > < No... just you and me, Ryo-ohki. > Ryoko dried her eyes and hardened her expression. < Just you and me... > *** "You know, Tenchi?" Bryan decided to break the very cautious silence between the two of them. "I'm not sure who's fault it is, but ...I don't care. I say we're even, and both wrong." Tenchi thought about it. A truce would certainly be a lot more hassle free than a constant silence between the two of them. It would have to be a very careful truce at first, but things could only get better, it seemed. "All right, fine... Truce." Half of Tenchi was relieved to finally get that off of his chest. The other half of him didn't like it one bit. "Something else, too, man." Bryan began again. "There's something I've always wondered about you." "What's that?" Tenchi asked. Although they couldn't really see each other behind their full bodycasts, they both exhibited callous faces, and they both knew it. "Well, you've convinced me that your very... innocent. Are you?" Bryan asked, with a hint of sarcasm. "Huh?" This conversation had suddenly shifted. "What do you mean?" "Tenchi, you're surrounded by women ninety-five percent of the day! Don't tell me you don't *think* about them from time to time." "What?" Tenchi gulped. "Sure I think about them. They're all very nice girls." "Besides that, Tenchi!" Bryan wasn't buying the 'innocent farmboy' routine, whether it was true or not. "C'mon! You have to admit, they are *HOT*." Bryan wanted to see if Tenchi was an ass, really, or not. "Bryan, you're not talking about... umm, THAT, are you?" "HA! You DO do it!" Bryan should have known it. It seems Tenchi was more like his father than he was letting on to. "So... who's you're favorite?" "WHAT! I NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT!" "Oh, c'mon! I think that Mihoshi is probably the easiest. Nice body, and you don't have the guilt!" Tenchi's eyes popped open. "Are you saying... in *MY* bathroom?" "What? No! I have more self-control than THAT! ...I'm master of my domain." < Eeeew. > Thought Tenchi. "C'mon, Tenchi! Every human male does it! It's a fact! And those that say they don't are lying!" "Umm," "EVERYBODY! E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y." Tenchi gave in. "Well..." He smiled sheepishly from inside his cast. "EEEEW! MAN! You just admitted it! GROSS!" Tenchi groaned. That was the lamest thing anybody had done to him. He had only one retaliation, the one thing that would justify his behavior in the slightest.. "Well.. I bet I could hold out longer than you, at any rate." Bryan smiled a demented grin. "Challenge, huh?" This is one thing Bryan could prove he was better at than Tenchi. "Yeah!" Tenchi began grinning himself. "We'll see who's master of who's domain! Who-ever's the first to cave in loses!" "Honor system?" Bryan asked. "2000 yen." Tenchi stated. < This'll show him, that crook. > He thought. "4000." Bryan said. < Wuss. This'll be easy money. > Bryan smirked to himself. "6000." Replied Tenchi. < I don't like where this is going. > Tenchi sweat a little. "10,000 yen!" Bryan yelled. < Hmm, how much is a yen anyway? > He wondered. "Deal. And on the honor system." Both of them mentally nodded, as their heads were being held stiff. They quickly quieted as Washu walked in. "Well, you guys are in tip-top shape once more! And guess what... It's time for your casts to come off!" She reached for a saw. "By the way, what were you two talking about anyway?" She said as she began sawing at Tenchi's leg. The two boys' eyes bugged open. "NOTHING!" They yelled in unison. "HA! LIARS!" Washu held up 10,000 yen. "I'm in too!" Beads of sweat formed on the boys' heads. They didn't like the way she was laughing. It was a little *too* confident. *** Ayeka woke up, looking around. This was the fourth day in a row that Sasami hadn't slept with her sister. Ayeka would see her during the day, often. However, when night would come, she would disappear. She got up, dressed and proceeded to Tenchi's room, only to find it undisturbed, as it had been for days. She didn't know what he could still be doing. It seemed like he had been recuperating forever. < Oh, Tenchi.. > Ayeka thought. < When are you coming back? > She proceeded to go downstairs, and into the kitchen. Breakfast should have been ready by now, but oddly enough, it wasn't. < Where could Sasami be? > Ayeka proceeded around to the living room, and could hear soft music playing in the background. She walked in that direction. The music was coming from a hallway she hadn't dared enter since Bryan moved in. Since he was gone, she decided to investigate. She opened the door to his room, only to find a huge mess, and Sasami sleeping on his bed. The music that was playing, oddly enough, wasn't loud OR obnoxious. Ayeka walked over to the CD player and turned it off. She walked over and nudged Sasami, who was wearing the same clothes that she had been for the last couple of days. Apparently she had been sleeping in here, in Bryan's room, since the boys fought, and since the argument between her and her sister. "Sasami... Sasami, wake up!" Ayeka was gently rocking Sasami back and forth. "Ayeka?" Sasami slowly opened her eyes. "I'm sorry Ayeka, I... didn't really want to be so mean to you..." "It's okay, Sasami." Ayeka replied. "I must have been acting rather selfishly... will you.. forgive me?" Sasami nodded, glad to get the whole ordeal over with. She leaned up, looking around her. "Have you seen Ryo-ohki? She was sleeping with me..." Ayeka thought about it. She hadn't seen the cabbit at all. "No... but I just woke up..." She glanced into Sasami's eyes. "She could show up any minute, I suppose." "...ok." Both of the girls proceeded to the kitchen. Ryo-ohki hadn't joined them like she usually did, and Ryoko hadn't shown up either. It was actually starting to bother Ayeka that Ryoko hadn't been seen since the fight several days ago. "I'll help you with making breakfast if you like, Sasami." Ayeka said, hoping to get the morning flowing again. "Ok, sure." Sasami looked around, seeing what needed to be done. "Just grab that pan over there, and get some carrots from the shed, would ya?" "Sure!" She walked past the couch in the living room, where it seemed Mihoshi spent the night. She was curled up on the sofa, murmuring in her sleep. The words she spoke sounded something like 'so...hungry ...must..eat..', but Ayeka paid no mind. *** "So, you're going up, to check out the field, huh?" Washu asked him. Tenchi was putting his farm clothing back on. "Yeah, I haven't even been to it in the last couple of days, you know? I just hope nothing has happened to the crop!" "All right!" Washu said. "Don't worry about Bryan, he's okay!" "Well..." Was Tenchi's comment. "I'm not all *that* worried about him..." He turned to Washu again. "... just the girls." He moved over to Washu, and whispered in her ear. "Just make sure he can't... *do* anything funny until I get back..." "No promises.." Washu noted. She smirked. At that, Tenchi moved up and left the lab, rather uncomfortably. Washu glanced over at Bryan. "So... Bryan! What do you say we continue our tests! And don't forget about that bet!" Washu gleamed at him. "Er.. what about my condition?" Bryan asked shrewdly. "Your condition... is great!" She smiled evil-ly. "...all you need is a SHOWER! Compliments of Washu!" < EEP! > Bryan's eyes bugged, and he went red. "Actually, it's nothing to worry about! I've already seen it all, remember?!" Bryan grew even redder. He had forgotten about the body scan. Washu handed him some clothes to wear after the shower. They were a light green, colored like a doctors' uniform. He dragged his feet toward the shower in Washu's lab. "Don't worry about me spying on you! I won't!" she yelled. He sighed, and continued dragging his feet. Even if it only would have lasted five minutes, it was going to be the longest shower of his life. *** Tenchi emerged from the lab, energetic and recharged. The girls probably hadn't seen him since he was in the fight. He thought about it for a second. He *knew* they hadn't seen him since the fight. They must have been worried sick about him. He snuck up to Ayeka's room. < I hope nothing drastic has happened since I left... > he thought. Little did he know that Ryoko had left hours earlier, without the slightest intention of returning, and was streaming along the horizon. Had Tenchi been looking out the window, he could have seen her. He went into the room, only to find it empty. "Hmm, that's odd... what time is it anyway?" He proceeded downstairs, and outside. He wasn't hungry at all, since Washu had been stuffing him with that Sasami food-paste all week. He continued toward the field. On the way, he breathed deep. The feeling of real air entering his lungs was a feeling he had grown to miss since entering the lab. He glanced a look at the forest, which had begun showing signs of autumn, reminding him that school was just around the corner, that is, if it had been repaired by then. Suddenly he stopped and yelled aloud. "HUH?" He glanced at the field, which was in perfect maintenance, except for one thing. The carrots were all gone. Every last remnant of anything orange was not to be seen. < Wait, maybe Grandfather was managing the fields while I was gone ...yeah, that's it! > Tenchi thought. < He must have put them in the shed. > Tenchi ran towards the shed, where unbeknownst to him, even more carrots had been stolen. He entered the shed, where he was met by silence, and an absence of carrots. Everywhere, he was met by sheer darkness. He then turned around and bumped face-to-face with Ayeka. "Oh, my Lord!" She yelled, surprised, as she fell back. She looked up at the person that had knocked her down. "Tenchi?" "Ayeka?" Tenchi could hardly recognize her. Her hair was unkept, and her clothes weren't in layers as usual. She had only her undergarments and a Kimono on. On top of that, there was no make-up on her face at all. This was Ayeka at her plainest, and to tell you the truth, it appealed to Tenchi more than did her regular appearance. "Tenchi! It's you!" Instead of covering herself, Ayeka latched onto Tenchi hard. She let a couple of sobs let loose into his shoulder. "It's been so long! We thought you were seriously injured! We had no idea what Bryan did to you, or what Washu was doing to you!" "It's okay, Ayeka. I'm fine... you see, Bryan..." "Oh, Tenchi! I never want to see Bryan again! I know he hurt you, and I'll make sure he can never do that again!" "Umm..." "Tenchi?" Mihoshi poked out of the living room window. "Tenchi!" She ran out and hugged him as well. "Tenchi! We had no idea when you were coming back! And Sasami hasn't been cooking as much, and I was soo hungry- hy-hy!" She was sobbing into his other shoulder. Sasami wondered what the commotion was all about, and stepped outside. She wondered what was going on. Suddenly she saw the last person she thought she would ever see. "Tenchi!" By now, Tenchi's eyes were bugging. Sasami ran up and hugged his waist, barely squeezing between the other two ladies. Tenchi felt his nose tickle a little bit. But something was missing. Something Tenchi couldn't quite put his finger on. This was one of those things that was so obvious, that it was hard to see. The house was in perfect condition, and there should have been fighting occurring by now, and every single carrot was missing... *** After the shower, Bryan made his way back to the lab. The light green clothes that Washu gave him only barely fit his body, and they were beginning to chafe him. Washu stood looking at him, and holding what looked like car keys. "So, how would you like to try my new device out?" Bryan paused. The words 'new device', he had learned, usually spelt trouble. "Um... new device?" "Yeah! IT'll be soo cool! Follow me!" Washu led her new guinea pig to her latest invention, which was hidden in a sea of corridors and mazes. Who knew Washu's lab could be so big? She took him through corridor after corridor of her lab, leading to one that had been recently disturbed. In the middle of a large room stood car. A very ugly car. It was shaped like... "Well, what do you think?" Washu said with an enthusiasm only she could possess. "This is my newest invention, the smallest spaceship in the known universe!" Bryan eyed the ugly contraption. "...a Delorian?" He asked, without a hint of sentiment. "Oh, yeah! I say if you're going to go cruising through space, why not do it in style! Just look at those doors! Earth technology is sooo lame, but their designs... ooh, I just HAD to make a ship out of this one!" She began opening and closing the horizontally assembled doors repeatedly, as if it felt really good to do so. "And he best part is... it doesn't need to be re-painted, ever!" She continued opening and closing the doors. "Why didn't you go with, like, a BMW or something?" The green pants Bryan was wearing began to creep up on him. "Are you kidding? Parts for those things are *sooo* expensive! Nope! This is the perfect model for space." Bryan only stared at it. "That's...great..really..." "Another great feature is the innovative fuel supply that I've designed!" Washu held up what looked like an egg. "With this baby, you'll never run out of power! Not even in a hundred million-billion years!" "That... looks like an egg..." Bryan scratched his head. "Of course it does! Really, if you want me to explain... It has two black holes, rotating, at the speed of light, around each other! I then inserted...what's wrong?" "I'll just... let you explain it... later." "Well, at any rate, lets' test 'er out!" Washu beamed. She opened the trunk, and set the egg in a little dome shaped holder thing. The egg floated in mid-air, and then the dome shaped capsule closed around it. "Do you know how to drive?" She asked Bryan. "Yeah, why?" Suddenly realization came over him, and his eyes bugged. "You don't want ME to drive this thing! NO WAY!" Bryan didn't want this kind of burden on his shoulders. "You'll have to make me." Not necessarily the best choice of words. "Oh, don't be ridiculous! If you CAN drive, then you're probably better than me! I haven't driven in years! And besides I've heard stories about the drivers from where you live! If you're still alive, your good!" "Umm, really I shouldn't do this.. " Bryan was still trying to get out of it. He should have known better. He had no way of escaping from the clutches of the maniacal Washu! "Ok, fine... I'll just let you..." she paused and turned her back to him. "BE FORCED TO DO IT!" She immediately grabbed him, and sent him flying towards the driver seat. The seatbelt fastened around him, holding him still from 18 points of articulation, and the door shut and locked. He could hear the engine whir to life. Washu climbed into the passenger seat. "Let's go!" The ship left the lab in auto-pilot mode, screeching through the lake in front of Tenchi's house and into the black of space. The auto pilot released, and let Bryan loose to control the ship. He had better been getting started,too, because the ship was aimed directly at an asteroid, some distance away. *** "C'mon, honey! Show me some ass!" The wildly haired figure held up a dollar bill, and set it on the stage. The male stripper in front of her responded by dancing near her for a while, and then moving along to a different tipper. He didn't even make eye contact. Strip clubs had declined since Ryoko's last visit to one, almost eight-hundred years ago. < Man, this place sucks! How do they make any business if they're in the middle of nowhere, and they suck? > < Miiyaaaa... > Ryo-ohki mewed boredly. She cradled her chin. < You think we should cause some trouble? > < Miya! > The hint of anything exiting was enough to make the cabbit go along with anything. Ryoko thought about what she could do to make things more lively. She could rob the place, or she could trash the place. She thought again. Why could she only think of counter-productive methods for having fun? She decided to try something new. Something that Ryoko would never ever do... ...after all, she was through with her old life. Her new one should've been... different... new... fun.. ...And happened to involve getting up on stage and showing these bums what a REAL stripper should do! < Here we go, Ryo-ohki! > She stood up on the bar, and pushed the male stripper out of her way. With an amount of uncertainty, she swung her hips from side to side, to the beat of the music, and lowered her body to meet the crowd. At first nothing happened, but eventually every male in the bar was at her table. Each of them howled and piled money up around her, as she began removing the first of her many layers of clothing. Ryo-ohki began collecting the money, running from side to side, as the money piled up. She continued dancing, and couldn't help but smile when a young kid, who barely met the age requirement of the bar, held up a tip for her. She moved the bottom her dress aside, revealing her underwear, and motioned for him to put the money in the strap. He did so, all while blushing. It reminded her of Tenchi somewhat, and deep down inside, she really wanted to go back, just to see him from a distance once more. She wasn't going to do *that*, though. "What's your name, boy?" she asked him. He blushed even more. "...Jameso! My name's Jameso! (Jah-Meh-Soh)" "Well, pleased to meet you Jameso, I'm Ryo.." Suddenly the manager came between the two of them. "Lady, get out! Now! It's not amateur night until tomorrow night!" Ryoko paused and looked him in the eye. "Hmm, well you seem to have a fair share of amateurs here *now*..." The fat man growled. "OUT! OUT! OOUUUUUUT!" He pointed his finger at the door. Ryoko laughed. "I think I'd steal your business away if I left now." At that the man tried to slap her. Unfortunately, he had just incurred the wrath of Ryoko. She grabbed his hand and twisted it, to the point that the man was begging her to stop. He tried to slug her with his free arm, but she dodged that, and socked him a good one across the face. The fat man lie on the floor, unconscious. With that accomplished, she left the stage, and the bar. She didn't leave empty-handed though, Ryo-ohki had collected several hundred Jurai. Sure enough, the entire crowd of men left once she was gone. Except for one man, sitting at the bar. He wore what appeared to be soiled garments of a once extravagant people, and had a veil over his face. The man loomed in the shadows, and even when he moved, it seemed the shadows moved with him. "Well done, Ryoko." He muttered aloud. He turned back toward the bar, and motioned the bartender for another drink. "It looks as though that boy has changed you for the better..." "What was that, Mr. Ter'ay, sir?" The waitress asked. The man slowly answered. "Oh... Just the ramblings of an old man ...pay me no mind.." *** "You know Bryan, I'm starting to doubt your capabilities at driving, and coming from me, that's *bad*!" Washu was nervously eyeing the asteroid that was growing bigger and bigger in the window screen ahead of them. And nervousness was something that was alien to the mighty Washu. Bryan was frozen in what appeared to be fear. I believe you would be doing the same thing if you were in a spaceship headed for certain doom. He sat motionless, right up until Washu slapped his across his cheek. He looked at the meteorite, as if having woken up from a dream. It was approaching with deadly speed. And it was to late for Bryan to do anything about it. Or so he thought. As while fighting Tenchi before, something strange happened. Washu, who was screaming beside him, stopped, and was frozen in place, silent. Many things flashed through his head, but the most obvious was to dodge the object ahead of them. He pulled the ship over, and found that it was *very* responsive, and reacted immediately. He pulled out of the way of the meteorite, only barely. There was one problem. It wasn't apparent, but the asteroid was one of many in an entire belt of asteroids. Bryan, in his enhanced state of mind, tried to make a break to dodge all of them. He lost all memory to concentration, and soon found himself behind the obstacle. Suddenly Washu spoke from beside him. "Phew, now *that* is what I call a Roller Coaster!" Something about her voice seemed different. Bryan glanced a look to his right, and nearly bugged his eyes out. Before him was the most lovely vision of his life, a fully grown goddess of Beauty, who resembled Washu only in feature, not in age. "Now, I'm *sure* about who you are..." She leaned closer to him and gave him a seductive look. "It's been *too long*, Can-Ceri!" She pushed a button, and the seats they were sitting in somehow turned into some sort of bed. Bryan's eyes bugged even more. "Come and give me what I have waited 6,000 years for!" She closed her eyes, and made a kissy face with her lips. It was nice of her, but Bryan didn't really know what the hell she was talking about. He only stared as she opened one eye at him, questionably. "What the hell are you waiting for?" She said. Bryan stared in silence for a moment, and then spoke. "... I... I...I. ..what?!" That's when she slapped him. It was the kind of slap that made you *know* that you said the exact thing you shouldn't have. To tell you the truth, Bryan was getting sick of being slapped by women. "What the hell is going on! What did I *DO*?" Washu actually began tearing. "You really don't know, do you! You damn fool!" Bryan winced. "Are you saying you don't have the slightest idea what "Can-Ceri" means to me?" Bryan stared at her, with the most blank face you could possibly imagine. He rose an eyebrow. "Your... You liar..." She winced. Bryan continued his stare. Washu teared even more at that. "You don't even have the guts..to tell me..." Bryan, at this point, had no idea what she was trying to say, and had no idea what to say in return. She was in her child form again, and was leaning against the door to her right. Her sobs overcame her body much the same way Ryoko's had when he saw her. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but Bryan didn't dare stop her. *** "You see, I've been in love only twice..." Washu trailed off, staring into the distance of space. Both of the Delorian's passengers were now in their original and upright positions, and Washu began the story of a small part of her life. "In twenty thousand years, I have only loved two men. The first one left me by myself, and even took my child from me. After that I vowed to remain a child forever..." She continued. "But there was one more time that I dared exist as an adult, and that's when I met *him*. He was some sort of... soldier, I suppose. He possessed power unique to any I'd ever seen." She repositioned herself, shifting her weight to her other hip. "I never even knew his name... he never told me. So I gave him a name. He had a tattoo of a crab on his right wrist. He told me that in his own language, 'crab' was called cancer. And so I called him Can-ceri." She sighed. "He was the first person to call me his 'Little Washu'. I thought it was so adorable. In fact, I picked that same crab mark as my personal symbol, because of him... because of that Tattoo on his wrist, the same kind I gave you." "I guess...you reminded me of him, simple as that. You reminded me so much, that for a small moment, I really *believed* you WERE him... ...especially after that piloting display..." A tear welled up in her eye. In her child-form, she was more innocent looking, but this was a woman of countless experience. "...He left me long ago, long before the Jurai ruled the universe. He promised me he would return. I can't believe that I'm still waiting..." Bryan didn't know what to do for her. He hated to be in stand-back situations! They always made him feel distant, and so... dirty. "...I don't even know where he is... because he told me that *he* would find *me*!" She continued to cry. Her sobs became obvious in her words. "Bryan, you look SO much like him! It's not even funny! ...sometimes, I think that I'm some sort of joke to the universe! Now I know that my life is doomed to be empty, and loveless!" Bryan felt his heart shrivel and die. Hearing something like this is what makes your heart do such a thing. He finally mustered the courage to say something. "Washu..." He paused, not knowing what to say in the slightest. "Washu, I'm sure he'll some back, someday. He has to." She raised her head and looked him in the eye. "Every day it's harder to believe that." "Well... every day is one day closer to his return, right?" "..That's what I used to tell myself..." "Well, don't lose hope yet. Hope is what makes things happen. Or at least, that's the way it seems... Every time I've lost hope for something, I've ended up regretting it." Painful silence ensued. He began thinking that he said something wrong again. Just then he heard something that was now strangely out of place. "Oh, Bryan..." Her voice became more cheerful. "Thanks... a lot." She hugged him, and sat back down. She dried her tears, and repositioned herself in her seat. "Let's just get out of here." "...Right." *** "So what have you guys been doing while I was gone, anyway?" Tenchi was eyeing his surroundings, noticing remarkably few signs of battle. As a matter of fact, the idea that the house was even standing in Tenchi's absence was something remarkable. < I guess Grandfather has really been keeping the house in shape. > Tenchi thought. "Actually nothing." Ayeka's reply made Tenchi wonder if she was telling the truth. "...We've been just lying around, wondering what was going to happen, and why you were hidden for so long." It made sense enough. "You were really worried about me that much?" "Mmm-hmm." Ayeka stared at the ground in thought. "Was everybody?" Ayeka nodded. "All of us were deeply worried, Tenchi." She turned her head to meet his. "We haven't even been keeping up with our hygiene..." She looked at her plain clothing, and felt her hair. It felt so un-natural to have it untended. "I'm sorry if I'm a mess, if I would have known..." Tenchi grabbed her hand. "It's okay, Ayeka. It's...not a.. *bad* change.." "...really?" Ayeka stroked her hair again, suddenly feeling confident in her decidedly new hairstyle. "I suppose for someone as *beautiful* as me, it is hard not to look extravagant!" < Oh, here we go again... > Tenchi tried to smile as he scratched the back of his head. "Um... anyway..." Tenchi said, as Ayeka continued to massage her hair, "...you wouldn't happen to know where Grandfather is, would you?" Ayeka stopped, and thought. "...Actually..." She cradled her chin in her palm. "I have no idea..." Tenchi stood up. "Well, I should see where he is. I'll bet he was worried, too." *** The path toward the shrine once again loomed ahead of him. It seemed like every time he climbed it, it was a stair longer. He actually counted them once, and tried a second time to find that there were two more stairs. He figured it was a counting error on his behalf, but he couldn't help but wonder... As he reached the top, he noticed the walkway, which was blown over with dust. It hadn't been swept for a while. It was actually kind of creepy, and reminiscent of a ghost town. He knocked on the shrine door. Several seconds passed, and he knocked again. He was about to knock for the third time when a hoarse, familiar voice called out. "Come in, Tenchi." Said the voice. It belonged to his Grandfather. Tenchi did as the voice said, and entered the shrine. As he did so, he found his Grandfather hanging by his feet upside down, and surprisingly, his glasses hadn't fallen off. Tenchi was a little taken aback by the peculiar sight. "Grandfather, what are you doing?" The old man paused, and spoke. "This is an ancient meditation ritual... I have been here contemplating, upside-down, for three days." Tenchi could only stare in awe at the man. "Wow, you mean that people used to meditate for days on end, upside down?" "Not quite, Tenchi." The old man remained calm in his disposition. "Actually, they would only hang upside down for a couple of hours." "So why have you been here for so long?" "Quite simple." The old man blushed a little. "You see... I have forgotten that I cannot get down without help." At that Tenchi facefaulted, and then rushed to his grandfather's aid. "That's better." Katsuhito moved, slowly at first, to the table on the other side of the room, and sat down. Tenchi joined him. "Unfortunately, I have some bad news, Tenchi." His Grandfather began. "Umm..yes?" Tenchi said. "Recently, it seems, you have made an impression on Ryoko. A bad impression." < Oh, my GOD! Ryoko! That's what was missing! > Tenchi was relieved to finally figure out what was bothering him. The reason that things were strange was because Ryoko was... "Wait a minute..." Tenchi glanced at his Grandfather, who had a stern look about him. "...where's Ryoko now?" "Tenchi, I'm sorry, but she's.." < She's what? Dead? Oh my god! She killed herself! > "She's what?" Tenchi's eyes were wide and pale. The old man's pause left Tenchi's heart skipping more beats than ever before. "She's left us, Tenchi... She won't be coming back." That's when it finally happened. Tenchi Suddenly felt himself *missing* the pirate. He was so annoyed by her before, but now, it's as if a part of him wanted her back more than anything. It was the strangest feeling in the world. "Tenchi. If you wish to see her again, I advise you consult with Washu." Katsuhito stared at his grandson, who was standing. It seems Tenchi already got the idea. He was on his way to the lab. [ I know this is Bryan's fault, somehow. ] < You can't prove that. > [ Maybe I don't have to. ] < What do you mean by that? > [ Everything is Bryan's fault. Even your damned head case. ] < My head case is YOUR fault! AAAUGH! > *** "If it's okay with you, Bryan, I think you should go home, now. I've been keeping you here too long. I'm sorry." Washu gave him a look of satisfaction, knowing for sure that this wasn't the man she thought he was. Alien he was, and he certainly had the appearance of a man once called Can-ceri, but apparently he wasn't. Bryan stood before her, blankly. "Really? And you'll teach me English again?" Washu presented the apparatus that inadvertently erased the memory of his English. "It was a bug, I know. I didn't think it mattered." "You don't think... that I could *keep* Japanese, do you?" Bryan really liked the language. "The people at my fanficion page will be totally surprised to find that I know perfect Japanese!" "Well, I suppose." Washu smirked once more. "But you'll have to do me one last favor." "Yeah?" Bryan shifted his head to the side, almost playfully. "Well..." Washu's appearance once again made itself become more mature. Her adult body was really *hot*. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to... ... kiss me!" Bryan felt a little nervous, and his cheeks flushed. "Just a peck is all I'm asking." Washu said. Her sly smile made Bryan suspect more. "I... guess.. so..." He leaned up to her, and gave her a peck on the cheek. Or, it *would* have been her cheek, except that she glomped im, Ryoko style. Bryan, though *pleasantly* surprised, was surprised to find that their lips locked passionately. Or at least semi-passionately. They would have continued their embrace if not for a familiar whiny voice that intruded on them. "BRYAN! WASHU! RYO.." he stopped in his tracks. "BRYAN? WASHU?" Washu dropped Bryan so fast it would makes heads turn. She immediately turned into a child again, making an ominous *pop*. Bryan was on the ground, rubbing a bruise. "Umm, you didn't see that! Heh... heh." said Washu. < Oh, you steal *one* kiss in 6,000 years... and you get caught! > Bryan made everything sound even lamer, with arguably the most cliché romance line in existence. "It's not what you think... Really!" Strangely, Tenchi took it in stride. "Never mind that now! Ryoko is gone!" "What?" Bryan and Washu gaped. "Where... how?" "Wait a minute... this is *your* fault, Tenchi!" Bryan yelled. "If you didn't..." "Didn't what?!" "Didn't... well you *saw* her didn't you?!" Tenchi and Bryan were freaking out on each other. "What do you mean, *saw* her?!" "The whole reason I fought you in the first place is because you somehow hurt Ryoko! Very Badly!" Tenchi froze as the words replayed in his mind. < CAN it Ryoko! SHIT...Shit...shit...! > The word 'shit' echoed in his mind. "This is *your* fault, Bryan! *You're* the one who taught me bad language in the first place!" "ME? Oh, isn't that a little convenient! Blame it on ME! What's the matter? Can't take bad words? FUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHITFUCKSHIIIIIII IIIIIT!" The boys looked like they were ready to fight again. "STOP IT!!!!" Washu's face was almost as red as her hair. "BOTH OF YOU! SHUT! UP!" The two of them froze, mid-pose. "Now, there *is* a chance you can find her. It can't be *that* hard. Ryo-ohki has a very unique wake pattern." "But we don't even have a ship! Ryo-ouh isn't even close to being ready!" Tenchi was breathing like a rabid hyena. "And the GP would never let us use Mihoshi's..." Bryan quickly grabbed Tenchi by the neck. "Wait a minute!" Bryan shook Tenchi as he spoke. "We do! We have the Delorian! I can fly it!" Tenchi tried to get out of Bryan's death grip. But the situation was panicky. He couldn't do it. "Right!" Washu held up her index finger, and pressed a red button. The Delorian raised itself from underneath them, and steam hissed from it. It was a cool effect. "So your saying you would help get her back?" "Um..." Bryan though about it for a moment. "...why not?" "I was about to send you *home*, hello?" Bryan thought about it. Going home meant explaining why he had been gone for so long, cleaning the basement, mowing the lawn, which should have been a foot tall by now, and cleaning every bathroom in the house. "Oh, yeah... well... I'd rather help get Ryoko back, anyhow. After all, Tenchi sucks at driving, right?" "HEY!" Tenchi took offense. "I don't SUCK at driving, I just never get a chance to practice!" *** "UNO!" Mihoshi shouted. She pointed at Ayeka. "HA!" "AARGH! I ALWAYS FORGET!" Ayeka grabbed five more cards from the deck in the middle of the circle of girls. Well, semi-circle. There were only three girls. "This is a really fun game." Sasami exclaimed. She lay down a yellow reverse card. Ayeka, having only blue, green, and red cards fumed. "It doesn't seem that fun to me..." she muttered. She grabbed card after card from the deck, failing to display a yellow one. "That's just cuz' you're losing!" Mihoshi cheerfully blurted. Ayeka, finally picking a yellow card, lay it down. Mihoshi laid down a green card of the same number, and Sasami laid down a 'Wild: Draw 4' card. Ayeka's face twisted as she picked up four more cards, and then layed down blue '9'. Mihoshi returned with a red '9'. "UNO!" she yelled. "Say... what's this game called again?" Ayeka's face went flat. "It's called uno, for the last time...u-n-o! UNO!" "Hey, you can't do that! I already called UNO! Now you have to take five cards for bluffing!" "EEEERRRRRGH!" Ayeka shoved her cards in Mihoshi's mouth. "Ayeka!" Sasami exclaimed. "I can't take any more of this stupid game!" "Ayeka, it's fun!" Sasami tried to mediate. "Ymmf.. It'phh Phhun!" Mihoshi said from behind the cards in her mouth. Ayeka tried best to calm her nerves. "Allright...one.. more.... time..." *** "Allright, one more time, here's the plan." Washu began, she was holding up a pointer, and was making note of the chalkboard behind her. "Bryan, you go upstairs while I talk to Tenchi. Get what you think you'll need for a small vacation. Then Tenchi will go up while I talk to you." "Wait, why do you have to talk to us separately?" Bryan and Tenchi said, almost uniformly. "It'll be.. faster...trust me." The boys nodded, nervously. They gave each other a glance, and with that Bryan went upstairs. He only wanted two things: Clothes, and music. Washu continued talking to Tenchi. "This is going to be difficult, Tenchi." She neared up to him. "You can stay behind, or you can go with Bryan." Suddenly realization came over Tenchi. If he went with Bryan, he would be completely forsaking Ayeka. If he stayed behind, he would be forgetting about Ryoko. He was stuck in a decision he thought he would never have to make in a million years. The final choice, the choice between Ayeka and Ryoko. What could he do? He was stuck more than ever. "Tenchi, follow me." Washu said. It must have been obvious to the onlooker what Tenchi was thinking about. He followed her to a remote portion of the lab, with three empty cylinders. "What are these?" He asked. "These..." Washu couldn't tell him the truth. "... I know that you care for both Ayeka *and* Ryoko... These will help you, form a sort of.. temporary compromise.." "What do they do?" "Well, you'll have to find out for yourself. And please... ...trust me." Slowly, Tenchi approached the middle cylinder, and stepped inside. It closed behind him, and Tenchi floated off into dreamland. Washu activated the device, which glowed in front of her. The first cylinder, containing Tenchi, glowed bright white. The two behind him glowed pink on the right and light blue on the left. As the first cylinder faded, it revealed it's contents to be empty. The other two faded to reveal two identical young men. The device parted Tenchi into two. Not into halves, as would a knife, but into two separate wholes, identical to the original in every way. < It'll be so much easier with two of you, Tenchi. > Washu closed her eyes in shame. She didn't like deceiving him at all. < When you return you'll be whole again, and things will be back to normal. > She walked to the cylinder on the right first, removing the unconscious Tenchi. She placed him on a stretch bed, and moved it to the recovery area. She then went to awake the other Tenchi. *** Bryan had strolled up the stairs like a stampeding Elephantwhen he realized something. Surely, Ayeka was willing, and waiting, to rip his throat from his neck. < Naaah, not Ayeka. She a little tight-strung... but she wouldn't.. would she? > Bryan decided not to chance it. He snuck around into the hallway, by the living room. Much to his dismay, all three girls were right there, playing some sort of card game. It appeared that Ayeka was losing, because she was obviously having the least fun of the three. If Bryan was going to get to his room, he was going to have to find another way. He snuck around to the backyard. There was a small chance he could go through the window, if it was unlocked. He clumsily tried to scale the wall, and other adjacent portions of the house, to get a clear shot at the window. It was open. < Yes! Ssssscore! > he thought. Carefully, Bryan stuck one foot on the sill. It seemed sturdy enough. He put his whole weight on it, and it supported him. With more confidence, he leaned into the window, face to face with Ayeka. Her more natural looking appearance made Bryan suddenly notice her aesthetic qualities. Her eyes, piercing, gazed into his. Or wait, the weren't gazing, they were *glaring*. "YOU! What are *you* doing here!" She yelled. Suddenly, the window-sill collapsed, sending Bryan toward the princess. She shrieked as his body landed on hers. His semimuscular, 168 pound body pinned Ayeka to the ground. "Aaaaauh! Get off of me! Azake! Kamedake!" The two logs appeared out of nowhere, scaring the piss out of Bryan, who had never seen the guardians before. Bryan made a mad dash to grab some clothes, and his music, before hauling ass through the living room. Only Sasami was there. Her eyes bugged as she followed Bryan's movements with them. He was followed shortly by two big logs, and a fiery purple princess, yelling at him. He held on to his CD collection for dear life, and slammed Washu's sub-space lab door behind him. Tenchi stood before him, ready to go upstairs, himself. Panting, Bryan suggested otherwise. *** Half an hour later, Bryan and Tenchi were safely belted into the Delorian. Ayeka was still just outside the lab door, trying frantically to get in. A lock was Washu's handiest invention to date. < Well, here we go. I'm strapped to a flying ugly car, and I'm next to someone who nearly killed me. He's trusting me to fly this thing to Ryoko. I don't even know how to fly really... I hope I don't mess things up too much... > < So, Bryan and I are going to space. I should be feeling apprehensive, but I'm not. It's so strange. I should be hating every aspect of this guy. He nearly killed me. Then again, I nearly killed him, too. I guess we're even for now. I just hope that things go smoothly... > < Just follow the trail Washu laid for us... it's a good thing Ryo-ohki has such a unique wake pattern. It's hard to believe that she's a spaceship. I don't even want to think about the science behind that. I'm sure Washu could go on for hours... > < What will Ayeka do? I certainly hope she doesn't think that I'm abandoning her... I can't just turn my back on Ryoko either. It's my fault she left in the first place. I can't believe myself. Why did I yell at her like *that*? > Tenchi's counter-self answered for him. [ That's easy, Bryan's making you turn into something that isn't you. ] < Why won't you go away? > [ Give me one good reason to. You've been pushing me back, and pushing me back, ever since Ryoko first attacked you. And then you pushed me back when Ayeka came, and when Sasami came, and when Mihoshi came, and when Washu came. You just had to keep playing nice guy... keep on acting... ] < I wasn't acting, I don't know what you're trying to tell me. > [ I'm saying it's okay to get angry... You have to admit that it feels good to get angry... ] Bryan sat in his chair, making himself comfortable. < Why is Tenchi being so quiet? This isn't usually like him... Then again, I don't really know Tenchi... He must be thinking about Ryoko one way or another... > He glanced at the speedometer. It ranged from 0 to 1,000,0... he couldn't even count the zeroes. His mind shifted to less intelligent thought. < Man... Washu is hot as an adult. > Tenchi's counter-self was still ranting about the 'good' qualities of anger. [ ...You know, when you just *know* that you're right and everybody else is wrong, and bothering you, and you have to let it all out... It feels good doesn't it, Tenchi? ] < No it doesn't. Getting angry is why I am here in the first place. I wouldn't be chasing after Ryoko if I hadn't gotten angry. > Tenchi remained level-headed. < I lose my sense of control when I get angry... I even almost killed Bryan. I gave him a scar over his eye! > [ No, it's not you're fault... it's Bryan'ss fault... come on... admit it, he's making you go crazy, isn't he? ] < Who are you? > [ Like it or not, Tenchi...I'm you. ] A small counter appeared on the screen in front of Bryan. It started at '10'. Slowly it counted down. Bryan silently read the numbers as they decreased. "Ten... "Nine... "Eight... "Seven... "Six... "Five... "Four... "Three... A woman's voice intruded behind him. "Hey, where are we going?" Bryan's eyes bugged open. So did Tenchi's. They turned to see a young blonde in the rear passenger seat. How she had gotten there was a complete mystery to them. They both spoke at the same time. "... MIHOSHI?" "Mmm-hmm!" Her eyes brightened in a smile. "I've been back here for a while..." Bryan glanced back at the timer to see the number '0' show on the display. It was too late. The ship was in take-off mode, and screamed through the lake in front of Tenchi's house, once more. Throughout the country- side, one could hear a faint 'Noooooooooo!' echoing over the hills. *** Tenchi awoke in front of the door to Washu's lab. He felt a little groggy, as if something had been removed from him. He shook it off momentarily, as he found a note on the ground in front of him. It read: { Tenchi, I realize it was a hard decision to make, so I decided to take the situation out of your hands. If things don't make sense now, don't worry, they will in the future. Bryan will find Ryoko, and he will have assistance. Not mine, but trust me, things are in good hands. As for me, I will be down here in the lab. If you must, you can come down but I ask that you please do not disturb me. Thank you, Washu } This was certainly odd. Tenchi wanted to ask her what was going on exactly, and turned the knob to her door. It opened, to reveal... nothing. Just an empty room. He felt like crap. Depression was about the only word to describe it, and for Tenchi, depression was something that was seldom found. Tenchi closed the door. He went up the stairs, and found the spot that was his resting place. He wasn't tired, but his lack of wanting to do anything overcame him. He lay in his bed, motionless. He wanted to see Ryoko again, and tell her he was sorry. He let his bad feelings sink into his sleep. It was an uneasy kind of sleep, and nauseous feeling. Tenchi wished his consciousness would just fade away. Maybe he could invest in some good alcohol. That always seemed to cheer Bryan up. *** Ending song: 'Teenager' by the Deftones. It's a nice song about being in love. Or you can read my kewl comments at the bottom. I climbed your arms, Then you pulled away. (A) new cavity moved into... My heart today The more she sings The more it seems that... now... Now I'm through, with the new you... Now I'm through, with the new you... New... You.. I drove you home, then you moved away. A cavity moved into... My heart today The more I scream, the more it seems, that I'm through. Now, I'm through, with the new you. Now I'm through, with the new you. Now I'm through, with the new you. New you.... So, there's chapter 5. Even *I* don't know how this thing is going to develop. That is, I have basic plan, but the story evolves as I write it. And I like writing it, I just hope I can finish it before December. That's when I ship off for the Marine Corps. Semper Fi! Well, as of the time I wrote this chapter, my 'kick-ass' list has expanded. Here it is, see if you're name is on it. Do *you* kick ass? Nick Scott Zyraen Jana Freeman Terry McMahon Kevin Sigmund Scott Craven James Padilla Kyp Duron Aldrich Bautista These people are either: 1. Cool dudes, for no reason other reason than being nice to me, 2. People who are going to be characters in the future, 3. People who have helped me write, and make this fic better, 4. People who's fics had cool ideas, 5. People who created and host the TMFFA. I also have an 'arch-rival' list. Are you an arch-rival of mine? See below. Davner Davner Davner Davner Davner Davner Davner Davner Davner These people are responsible for *all* of the following. 1. Are so good at writing fanfiction that I must destroy them, before they take over the world and dictate my life, 2. Respond to only half of my E-mail as if I were a second rate citizen, 3. Have incurred my wrath on way or another (see above). Yes, these people *are* aware that they are my arch-rival, and they accept that, with a genuine sense of humor. If only they knew what the future had in store for them... bwah ha-ha-ha-ha! {Moniter clicks and fades.... and Gitaro is gone.} - -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------- ---------- --------- -------- ------- ------ ----- ---- --- -- - -- --- ---- ----- ------ ------- -------- --------- ---------- --------- -------- ------- ------ ----- ---- --- -- - Gitaro the Metalhead