Tenchi Muyo: Culture Shock Chapter 1: Pantera Arrives! By Gitaro the Metalhead The forest was cold and dewy, with the sunlight dancing on the treetops as it rose. Tenchi was gazing at the sky trying to find the thin line where the day was beginning and the night was ending. He knew he wouldn't find it, but it was still nice to see all the different shades of blue, orange, and pink blending in the morning sky. Sasami was busy cooking in the kitchen and the aroma of food was mixing with the sweet odors of the wild outdoors. Tenchi tried to enjoy it while he could, because he knew he could be disturbed any second. There were signs of life beginning anew all around him and the songs of birds teemed in circles. < Just like every morning really >, he thought to himself. Suddenly he felt something behind him. And a loud and almost annoyingly singing voice intruded on his ear. "Good mooooorning, Tenchi!!" Ryoko walked up to him from behind him and gave him a firm hug from behind. She was annoying at times but he often found her mannerisms oddly charming. They sometimes even brightened his mood, not that he'd ever admit it. "Hi, Ryoko." Ryoko collected herself, trying to make what she had to say sound just right, as she had really injured Tenchi the day before. "Listen Tenchi, about yesterday. um, that was just a. a joke! Really." "Don't worry about it Ryoko, I'm fine". As he felt the lump on his head from Ryoko's previous attempt to woo him, he wondered about what she could possibly try today. < Just as long as she doesn't try any more of Washu's love potions I should do OK. > "Miyaa! Miyaa!" came a familiar sound. The little cabbit was full of her usual excitement, eyes beaming at her very much taller counterparts. "Oh, hi Ryo-ohki. Is it time for breakfast yet?" "Miyaa!" "Well let's go Ryoko." -BREAKFAST- "Why are you looking at me like that, Ryoko"? Ayeka had been calmly eating her breakfast when she noticed Ryoko's gaze. Apparently Ryoko had been staring at her for quite some time. It was a puzzling expression and Ayeka had trouble interpret- ing it. < I love how this bothers her. > thought Ryoko. "What is it? Is something wrong? Is there something on my face? Stop it this instant! RYOKO STOP! TENCHIIII MAKE HER SSSTOOOOOOOP!" Ryoko could barely hold it any longer, and burst out laughing. "REALLY, Ryoko. Your table manners are despicable." said Ayeka, tossing her hair aside. "Well I'm only looking out for you're best interests." As she wiped a tear from her eye. Ayeka thought about what she had just said. "What the HELL is THAT supposed to mean?!!" "Oooh, shame dear. Learn to control your speech." Ayeka growled under her breath. They stared each other down for several minutes. Tenchi simply tried to stay out of their way and started ducking under the table. He couldn't help but wonder how long they were going to go on before he could sneak away. Just then Washu stormed in. Her demeanour was that of somone that was about to proclaim something of great importance. She spoke aloud. "Ladies and gentlemen! I the great Washu, have achieved a feat of sheer brilliance, once again raising the standard for ingenuity!" Ryoko, Tenchi and Ayeka stared at her with blank expressions, with a bead of sweat running down Tenchi's head. "Hey what's wrong with you guys?" -IN THE LAB- "So, *Ma*, what have you brought us down here for?" Ryoko stared around looking for some new sort of gizmo but there weren't any obvious changes since the last time she was in the lab. "Yeah," Tenchi interrupted, "there doesn't seem to be anything new down here." "Well maybe not, but I assure you that there is a major difference! ...namely service! -Ryo-Ohki!" "Miyaa!" The cabbit appeared out of seemingly nowhere, dressed up in a little apron. "How cute." Exclaimed Sasami. "What?!" Ryoko was a bit taken aback. "What's this all about?" "Well, if you'll let me I'll explain." Washu glanced at Ryoko menacingly. "You see, when I work late nights or early mornings I like to enjoy a nice cup of coffee. But it takes more time than I want to use to go over and get some." "WHADDAYA TALKIN ABOUT"? Ryoko burst. "It takes two seconds to walk over and push the "coffee" button. You're just being lazy, *mom*!" Instantly Ryoko became trapped in a glass sphere. Ryoko had a puzzled look on her face, and then started banging at the walls, trying to escape. She forgot that she *was* in Washu's lab. "Well in my business two seconds can make the difference between failure and success." Ryoko rolled her eyes. "And so I trained Ryo-Ohki to use the console. Just watch." Washu turned to face the litte cabbit. "Come on, Ryo-Ohki, get mommy some coffee, come on." "Are you sure that's safe little Washu?" said Tenchi. "What's that button marked "danger" next to the "coffee" button?" "Oh, Tenchi, you worry too much. Ryo-Ohki is fully trained on the console. Come on, push the coffee button." Ryo-Ohki repeatedly batted at the button nearly hitting the adjacent "danger" buttons every time. It seemed that she had to put her whole weight on the button just to get it to activate. Suddenly there was an ominous click and a low rumble through- out the lab. The group all went bug-eyed with the exception of Washu, who was as cheery as ever. The rumble got louder and reached a climax as a little bell sounded. "DING!" The group fell aback and Washu went up to take her coffee from the little animal. "Thank you Ryo-Ohki" and took a sip, immediately spitting it out. "Hey, you forgot the cream and sugar!" Frightened, Ryo-Ohki ran off in the opposite direction hitting random buttons as she sped out of the lab. "Ooops, didn't mean to yell". Exclaimed Washu. -THE NEXT DAY- Ryoko was relaxing in a tree somewhere in the forest. There were a couple of empty sake bottles lying about and she was just absorbing the atmosphere around her. < Something about this planet Earth makes you feel very comfort- able. > She thought. < I don't think I'll ever feel like leaving. > In the distance she could hear the noises of what sounded like people fighting. Tenchi and Yosho were training again. Ryoko leaned her head back and listened to them. "What's wrong with you today Tenchi?!" she could hear in the woods. "I don't know grandfather, I'm thinking about the buttons Ryo-ohki pushed on that console when she ran off. I havea feeling that it will affect ME somehow." "Don't be ridiculous, Tenchi. Washu should be able to take care of it." "I hope so." Ryoko closed her eyes at the sound of Tenchi's voice. She pictured what he would look like if they ever got married. In a little Tuxedo all dressed up and nervous. < And I. > she thought < I would come down the walkway in the most revealing dress I could find! That'll show Ayeka! > She smiled to herself Just as she was beginning to think about the honeymoon, she heard what sounded like a person walking through the woods. She looked down and saw a strange looking person walking around in only under- wear and a T-shirt. He was young, about Tenchi's age, with a bit of a beard and mustache. His feet were bare and bleeding, and he looked pale and cold. < Who's this guy? How did he get this deep in the forest without passing by us at the house first? > She jumped down from the tree and put herself in an aggressive stance. "Where do you think you're going, mister?" She commanded. The sudden surprise of seeing someone in the middle of nowhere surprised him and in his weak condition he fainted. < Oh, great. > Ryoko thought, staring at the poor kid. < Am I supposed to take him BACK? What if he's DANGEROUS? > She pondered her options. < I know, I'll go home and tell everyone first, then come back and get him! > Ryoko sped off towards the house and left the boy behind, sick and lying on the floor of the woods. -THAT EVENING- Ayeka had finished hanging the laundry when she started to daydream. She imagined walking up to Tenchi and giving him a kiss, with him returning it. She didn't realize it but her face was blushing and her lips were puckered up in the air, as if kissing the sheets that were in front of her. "Ayeka what are you doing?" asked Sasami. Ayeka's eyes went wide and she quickly turned in the direction of Sasami's face. "Oh, hi Sasami." Ayeka said as she tried to play it off, "I was just...heh heh, um...hanging the laundry! Yes, the laundry." They both stopped when they heard a very audible rustling from the edge of the forest. It was a very creepy kind of rustling and its very nature drove shivers up their spines. They glanced at each other and gulped. "Ryo-Ohki is that you?" Sasami asked shakenly. "Sasami, she's sitting on your head." Ayeka was shaking as well. "Miya?" The cabbit displayed it's own amount of fear. The rustling grew louder and a large object fell from the woods onto the grass. In the darkness it appeared as though it was at- tacking them. The girls shrieked and ran inside. -INSIDE- Ryoko, Tenchi, and Washu were all watching TV when they were dis- turbed by a loud ear splitting noise. Sasami and Ayeka both ran in and started screaming in unison. "OH MY GOD A MONSTER IS TRYING TO KILL US OUT BY THE EDGE OF THE WOODS SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!" Everybody just sort of looked at them as if they were crazy. Then Ryoko broke the silence. "It's a shame it couldn't have succeeded Ayeka." She said, half- jokingly. Ayeka stared her in the eye, and Sasami seemed kind of hurt by the comment. "Well, I guess I'll have to go check it out." Said Tenchi, playing the hero. "OH THANK YOU!" they screamed as Ayeka and Sasami both jumped on Tenchi. -BACK OUTSIDE AGAIN- "Where did you say it was again?" "Right over there, Tenchi, it was so horrible. It was huge and black and it lunged at both of us." "Well it looks like it's gone now." -BACK INSIDE AGAIN- "Shriek!!! What was that noise!!!" -BACK OUTSIDE AGAIN "I don't think it was anything Ayeka." "Tenchi's right", added Ryoko "if there were something trying to attack us it would have done so by now." Ayeka lowered her head. "Well I did see SOMETHING." She said sullenly. "We'll look for some clues in the morning." Said Tenchi, try-ing to please everyone. "We can't see anything right now." "Wait, what was that!" cried Ayeka. A mysterious moan could be heard in the distance, where Ayeka had been hanging sheets. Tenchi and the gang slowly creeped up on the noise, trying to make sense of the shapes that riddled the meadow. In the dis- tance there was a lighter shade, shape like a T-shirt. "Oh, that reminds me", Said Ryoko, "there was this guy lost in the forest earlier today. I guess I kind-of forgot.." "That's a person?!!" cried Ayeka, trying to hold of the embar- rassment of having been so wrong about their attacker. "Well, what's he doing sneaking up on us anyway?! He nearly scared us to death!" "I don't mean to interrupt, Ayeka, but we should probably get him inside." Tenchi motioned for Ryoko to help carry the uncon- scious boy inside, where it was apparent that he had been through a lot of hardship. His skin was very pale, and he had cuts and bruises on his ankles, knees, and on his face. He had apparent- ly been wandering through the forest for a couple of days, in nothing but boxer shorts and a T-shirt. "Hey he looks different than you, Tenchi." Ryoko exclaimed. "His eyes are different, and his facial features are. dif- ferent, too. I thought all Humans looked pretty much the same." "Well, uh..." Tenchi looked at him a little bit "He looks... White." "What do you mean, White?" Ayeka asked aloud. Tenchi Replied. "Well, here on earth there are sort of like... ummm, different 'breeds' of people. I'm Japanese, or Asian, and he's...White." Tenchi hoped this would be a simple enough answer to satisfy everybody, but it only brought about more confusion. "You mean to say that there are TWO 'types' of humans?" Ayeka asked. "Well, there's a lot more than just two." The group stared at him as he attempted to explain the basic idea of races among humans. Ryoko and Sasami stared at him in shock, Washu listened with fascination, and Ayeka constant- ly argued against him. "How can that be possible ...different "races'? How could there be so much variation in one stupid species?" "HEYYY, we're not that stupid!!" Tenchi defeated. "No wonder you people never got off this stupid planet, you can't even figure yourselves out!" "HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Tenchi defended. Ryoko interrupted. "Well my question is.. Which race is the BEST race?" "Well that's kind of hard to say, Ryoko. there's been a lot of controversy about that and really there is no best..." "Nonsense!", Ayeka butted "...there has to be one that's a little bit better!" "She's right. Who is it?" Ryoko coughed. "No! There is no better race!." Tenchi yelled. "I know how to settle this," butted Ryoko "Tenchi is the best human I'VE ever met, so his race must be the best!" "WHAT!! I NEVER SAID THAT! RYOKO!!" Tenchi's eyes bugged. "Well is this jerk's race the best?" she said pointing at the pas- sed out boy on the couch. "He can't even spend a couple of days in the forest without nearly dying!" "EVERYBODY QUIET DOWN!" Everyone stared at Washu, who was clearly getting annoyed with where this conversation was headed. She continued. "Speaking of this guy over here, he's lost a lot of blood, and could use our help. I'm going to take him down to the lab and try to get him back to health, and I don't want any of you to disturb me!" Everyone was quite taken aback at Washu's anger, but Tenchi could understand where she was coming from. Immediately her face turned all cheery, the way it usually does when she's about to ask someone for a favor. "Now could someone help me take him down there?" Beads of sweat appeared over the group as they anticipated some- body volunteering. No one did. "How 'bout you, Tenchi?" Washu asked. "Um. sure." Tenchi and Washu left with the young man and disappeared into the lab. Everybody was quiet for a couple of minutes until Ryoko said something aloud. "Boy that guy was kind of ugly wasn't he?" Sasami and Ayeka both fell aback. -IN THE LAB- "So little Washu, what are you planning on doing with this guy?" "Oh, well, pretty much just nurse him back to health." "What about after that?" "Well I guess I'll have to figure out where he came from, and send him back." Tenchi began to wonder if Washu had done this routinely. "Well. how do you think he got here in the first place?" "I'm pretty sure it happened when Ryo-Ohki was messing with that console. Speaking of which.Ryo-Ohki can you get me some coffee?" "Miyaa!!" The cabbit sped off in the distance. "The console that the 'coffee' button is on deals with converting living creatures into energy and then transporting them via wires somewhere else. It's surprising he's alive considering that I haven't tested the device yet. As to where he's from. it'll take a while to figure that one out." "Well I guess it's safe to assume that he's from America, or maybe Europe." "We'll just ask him once he wakes up." -BACK UPSTAIRS, THE NEXT MORNING- Sasami, Mihoshi, and Ayeka were upstairs eating breakfast. They hadn't slept really well all night, feeling guilty about how angry they made Washu, and for the fact that Tenchi still hadn't shown up from the lab. "So, you're saying someone showed up in the forest?" asked Mihoshi, who was absent the night before. "Yes, something called a blight, or kite." Ayeka answered. "...something like that. And I guess that there are all sorts of humans all over earth. Even blue and green-skinned humans." "Tenchi never said *that*." Sasami interrupted. "Well he did say there were differently colored people didn't he? What other colors could there possibly be?" Suddenly there was a loud noise from the doorway to Washu's lab, and the half-naked body of the young American ran out screaming. "That's him!" yelled Ayeka. The panic-stricken American ran through the kitchen straight into the glass door leading outside, falling immediately to the ground. "Well if these kites aren't better than Tenchi's people, they're certainly stupider." The girls proceeded to surround him as he started cowering. "{Get the hell away from me you... you... auuugh!}" he yelled. "Did you understand a word he just said?" Ayeka said in half- disbelief. "{I'm warning you if you don't get the hell away from me I will ...umm!}" "What in the hell is he trying to say? Is he drunk?" asked Ayeka. Tenchi and Washu entered the kitchen and immediately grabbed hold of the stranger. "{NO! Not you guys again!}" The person yelled. "Tenchi what is he trying to say?" Ayeka asked him. "I don't know! You can't understand him 'cause he's speaking English!" "Huh...English?" Ayeka stared at the young man. "Never mind right now." Tenchi shouted. "Can you grab a leg or some- thing?!" "Oh right." With Tenchi, Washu and Ayeka holding him down the gang was able to overpower the very freaked out stranger. Washu pulled out a syringe that she had been holding in her mouth and injected a sedative into him. At first it didn't seem to work but eventually the American relaxed and started laughing out loud. "{Wow, you guys, this is cool! I'm... you're all melting! Whhooooo ooaaah!}" "What's he saying? Why's he laughing? What's so funny?" Ayeka and the other girls looked at him with questionable faces, while Washu was busy fixing a helmet-like device on his head. "Hold still you damn fool." She said. "Little Washu, are you sure that was a sedative? He's acting kind of funny." Tenchi watched as the delirious young man swayed to and fro apparently trying to sing. "Well it's not exactly meant for humans, but it should do the trick. C'mon, he looks like he's having fun!" Finally the device was fastened to the stranger's head and began making noises. "This should teach him the language that WE speak, so we can find out where he's from, and then send him back on his way." -THE NEXT DAY, AFTER THE STRANGER HAD FALLEN ASLEEP- The young man was lying in bed having been asleep for almost 16 hours. The bed had belonged to Tenchi, who had slept in the hall during the night. Slowly he began to awake, as the sounds of people talking downstairs intruded on his ears. "Oh, I see you're awake." Tenchi was leaning against the wall. "Huh?" replied the stranger "Who are you?" "My name's Tenchi. My friends and I saved you from the forest and brought you here." Tenchi gazed at the newcomer. "Who are you?" "I'm... my name's Bryan. I was...at my house... then I was in this forest... and... maaaaaan my head hurts!" "Yeah, you've been through a lot. Try to get some more rest. I have chores to do so I'll leave you here. If you need anything feel free to roam around. There are several people here that can help you out." They exchanged glances. "Well, see you later." Bryan looked around. The room was really clean and orderly looking. Looking out the window, he saw the forest that he was trapped in for almost two days. It made him shiver thinking about it. < Where could I be? That guy looked Japanese. why did I feel so funny when I was talking to him? > Tenchi proceeded to walk down the stairs from his room. Something about that guy made him uneasy. He didn't seem very. right. He *was* groggy from the sedative, though, and it was his first time speaking a strange new language. < I wonder if he even noticed. > Tenchi wondered. "Tenchi did he wake up?" asked Sasami. "Yeah, he's awake now. He's pretty confused. Don't talk to him unless he comes out of my room. We don't want to scare him like we did last night." "AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!" "What was that?" "It came from upstairs!" -TENCHI"S ROOM- "Whoa, calm down kid. It's just me... heh... little Ryoko. I was just looking for Tenchi. No cause for alarm..." "YOU JUST CAME THROUGH THE WALL!! KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Bryan was moving away from Ryoko and hit his head on the dresser behind him, knocking him unconscious. (Author's note: What a pussy! Wait a minute, he's supposed to be me!) "Man, how are we going to get this guy used to us if he keeps freaking out?" Ryoko said to herself. Tenchi and Sasami came bursting through the door, only to find Ryoko staring at an unconscious Bryan. "It wasn't me, I swear." She noted. -LATER, IN WASHU'S LAB- "So, Little Washu, how is he doing?" Tenchi and Washu were in the lab again, waiting for Bryan wake up. He was hooked up to a restrained chair, and had a few instruments attached to him, mostly just monitoring devices. "He's doing fine. He's completely healed, thanks to me! I don't know why he's still asleep. He's been out for the last couple of days." Slowly He began to open his eyes. He was groggy and confused, still having a hangover from Washu's sedative. Once he collected himself he saw Tenchi and recognized him as the friendly person he had met earlier. "Heey. Tenchi wasn't it? Sorry if I can't remember, My head kind of hurts. Who's this?" "I'm Washu, but you can call me little Washu!" She smiled cheerily. "Anyway, I'm the one who nursed you back to health." Washu looked into his eyes giving him a familiar look. "Oh... thanks." Bryan said. He thought she looked kind of familiar. It must have be from a dream or something. "Do I know you? I must have forgotten." "...Yeah, something like that." replied Washu. "Well, I have work to do. I'll let you talk to Tenchi for a while." "Right." Tenchi interrupted. "While you're staying here there's some things you're going to have to get used to." "You mean like house rules?" "I wish." *** Tenchi spent several hours talking to Bryan about Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, Mihoshi, and basically the things he should get used to seeing everyday around the house. He didn't tell Bryan *everything*, but he told him enough to keep him from freaking out. < I get it... > Bryan thought. < This is some kind of dream... > "So the person I saw that day was Ryoko, right?" "Yes, she's the one that barges in my room all the time." "You know something?" Bryan asked. "What?" "She's kind of cute, man!" Tenchi's eyes bugged at the thought. < Maybe Ryoko could start hanging on *him* for a while. > He thought. He pushed the thought aside. "Well, everyone's asleep right now. Is there anything you want to do? I mean you *are* a guest here." < We might as well post a sign and charge rates. > He thought. "I don't know, you don't have any guitars lying around do you?" "Huh? No this isn't a music studio." "No, I mean does anyone in your family play guitar and have one here?" "No we're just a farming family. Not musicians" "I don't think you understand." There were some obvious dif- ferences between these guys' cultures from what Bryan could tell. They both stared into each other's foreheads for several moments.. "So, YOU play guitar?" Tenchi asked, breaking the silence. Bryan responded rather enthusiastically. "Hell yeah, man. I practically LIVE guitar!" Tenchi didn't really understand what he meant, but decided to try to help him anyway. "I guess we could get one for you somehow, it IS kind of our fault that you're here, anyway." "Speaking of which, where exactly IS here.?" "Well, I probably shouldn't tell you just yet. Are you hungry at all?" "Boy am I!" -MIDNIGHT SNACK IN THE KITCHEN- "Boy those leftovers really hit the spot. Whoever cooks for you is great." "Yeah, that's Sasami. She does make pretty good food." "Mmmm-Hmmm." Bryan mumbled in agreement. "So .you're from a Japanese family, right?" "Ummm, what makes you think that?" Tenchi said, suddenly surprised. "Well, you're Japanese, and we're eating with chopsticks. One things for sure, though. You know reaally good English! I can't even tell you're foreign!" < I can't believe he doesn't know what language he's speak- ing! > Tenchi thought. "Don't be too sure about that, Bryan. You're in for a sur- prise tomorrow." < What's that supposed to mean? > Bryan wondered. "Speaking of tomorrow, what time is it?" "About 5:30. Sasami should be up pretty soon to make breakfast." -BREAKFAST WITH THE GANG- Everyone was in their place at the table waiting for what Tenchi had to show them. They were all sitting, poking at their food until Tenchi walked in and announced himself. "Ladies and. well, Ladies! Presenting to you for the first time... Bryan from America!" Everyone stared at the young man, about Tenchi's age, and wearing one of Tenchi's older outfits, which was redicoulously short for him. "I feel sort of funny in these clothes, Tenchi." Bryan whispered. "Just shut up and introduce yourself." Tenchi whispered. There was a momentary pause as everybody waited for somebody else to break the silence. A bead of sweat appeared on Tenchi's brow. "That's what you had to show us?!" Ryoko yelled. "SSHHHH!! RYOKO!" Whispered Sasami. Bryan suddenly realized that the dream he had several days earlier, with the hallucinations, wasn't a dream. "Uh. Hello everyone. My name is Bryan. I.guess I looked pretty stupid before. Sorry." < So THAT'S where I recognized Washu from. > he thought. < How could he REMEMBER that? > Washu thought. "It's nice to meet you Bryan." Said Sasami. "you don't have to worry about what happened before." "That's right," backed Ayeka, "water under the bridge." *** "Well, he seems to be getting used to things around here." Said Ayeka. She and Tenchi were on the balcony talking, and keeping each other company. "He's so despicable, though." "Well, I don't know about *that*, but I don't think I have to watch him as closely anymore." Tenchi Said "Where is he right now?" "He's downtown." "By himself?" "No, I sent Ryoko with him. I gave him some money, too. I think he went to get some music or something. We don't have near enough money to buy him a guitar. They're sooo expensive." "Wow, you ACTUALLY think Ryoko is capable of escorting him?" Tenchi smiled. "Actually, it was his idea." -DOWNTOWN- "Sooo, we're just going to buy a couple of CD's, and get back home right awaayy, riight?" Ryoko was getting very impatient with Bryan. He was acting so weird around her. He would look her in the eye kind of funny, and make here generally uneasy. "What's you're hurry anyway, Ryoko?" "I just don't trust Ayeka to leave Tenchi alone." "Oh, you like him or something?" "HUH? What makes you think that?" Ryoko was actually a little embarrassed. She didn't really like the idea of letting this stranger in on her personal life. "Well, I guess we can leave shortly if that's what you want. I pretty much have what I want." "Good." Bryan and Ryoko were both waiting at the bus stop, when a rather self-confident man noticed Ryoko. As he watched her from across the street, he noticed how her wild her hair was, how tall and slender her figure was, and how little he had to use his imagination on her bust. He walked up to her assuming she was alone. "Hey there, lady, could I help you with something?" he asked. "What would I need you're help for?" she replied with a rude tone. < Ooh, I like the spicy variety. > The man thought. "Well, I can help you find out more about me, if you're interested." "Maybe I should say this bluntly." She said aloud. "I don't want you're help." Bryan was observing the man's behavior and felt suddenly disgusted. He hated when men treated women this way. He did find satisfaction in knowing that he didn't have a chance, though. He sat there quietly, listening. "Well, I think what we have here is a girl who really doesn't know what she wants." The man said. Bryan rolled his eyes. "I know that right know I want you to leave, and never talk to me again." Ryoko was getting impatient. Bryan's eyes narrowed at what the man said next. "Listen lady, you're going to be sorry if you don't do as I say right now." The man started moving in on Ryoko when Bryan stood up, putting himself between Ryoko and the man. "I don't know who the fuck *you* are, buddy..." Bryan said, "...but you're gonna have to take your business elsewhere." Bryan felt a sharp pain in his stomach and realized that the man had punched him in the gut. He fell on his knees somewhat taken aback by the idea that this man wanted to fight. < I may not look very big. > Bryan thought < But I'm not weak. > Bryan came up and punched the man in the jaw with everything he had, knocking the man to the ground. Immediately a circle of onlookers formed around the two. "You idiot. You... foreigner!" the man shrieked. "Fuck off! Next time you treat a lady like that you'll be lucky if I'm not around!" < Wow. This guy might be more of a fighter than I thought. > thought Ryoko. Bryan realized he was outmatched when the man attacked him with several martial-arts styled moves, quickly reducing him to a very hurt American, kneeling on the ground. < I guess I'm in over my head. > he thought. As the man was about to strike Bryan again, Ryoko stepped in and knocked the man unconscious with a flick of her finger. The crowd responded simply by bugging their eyes all in unison. Bryan looked around to see very surprised/frightened looks on the onlookers' faces. "All right show's over." Ryoko stated. Bryan was seriously freaked. This is one girl he could seriously respect. "Well are you getting on or what?" Ryoko asked. Apparently the bus had arrived during the commotion. "Yeah... right behind you." Bryan answered. *** Tenchi awoke the next morning to some of the most unusual, loud, and obscene noise he had ever heard. It was coming from the hallway downstairs. < Is that where Bryan was sleeping? Awww man... its 3:30 in the morning! > Tenchi melted off of his bed and proceeded towards the ear- deafening noise. Sure enough, it was leading in the direction where Bryan had been staying. Tenchi moved along slowly, in a groggy half-sleeping stupor, until he reached the door. < Just open the door, Tenchi. > he thought to himself. As the door swung open, Tenchi felt as if he had been knocked back by a wall of sound. The harsh noise was beating on his eardrums as if someone had been drilling into his ear. He cup- ped his ears and opened his eyes, only to see Bryan and Ryoko head-banging and air-guitaring to the obscene music. "YOU LIKE THIS, TENCHI!!?" Ryoko yelled at the top of her lungs. "IT'S CALLED PANTERA! IT'S ONE OF BRYAN'S FAVORITE BANDS!" Tenchi stared at the two of them and a single tear started forming at his eye. His face began to waver as he waved goodbye to any good night's rest he would receive from now on. < Great, as if Ryoko and Ayeka fighting wasn't bad enough, now I have to deal with Ryoko and Bryan getting along... > He crawled back upstairs and back into bed. He tucked his head tightly between his pillows, hoping to escape from reality, which was bound to get worse from now on. Ending Song: Fucking Hostile by Pantera. Or skip it and go straight to the bottom. (Please read the bottom.) One! Two! Three! Four! Almost every day I see the same face On broken picture tube It fits the attitude If you could see yourself You put you on a shelf Your verbal masturbate Promise to nauseate Today I'll play the part of non-parent Not make a hundred rules For you to know about yoursef Not lie and make you believe what's evil Is making love and making friends And meeting God you're own way The right way? To see To bleed Cannot be taught In turn You're making us Fucking hostile We stand alone The truth in right and wrong The boundaries of the law You seem to miss the point Arresting for a joint? You seem to wonder why Hundreds of people die You're writing tickets man My mom got jumped -- they ran! Now I'll play a public servant To serve and protect By the law and the state I'd bust the punks that rape steal and murder And leave you be if you crossed me I'd shake your hand like a man Not a god To see To bleed Cannot be taught In turn You're making us Fucking hostile We stand alone Bitch! (guitar solo) Now meet your maker, boy Some things you can't enjoy Because of heaven/hell A fucking wives' tale They put it in your head Then put you in your bed He's watching, say your prayers Cause God is everywhere Now I'll play a man learning priesthood Who's about to take the ultimate test in life I'd question things because I am human And call NO ONE my father who's no closer that a stranger I won't listen To see To bleed Cannot be taught In turn You're making us Fucking! Fucking! Fucking! FUCKING HOSTILE! END OF CHAPTER 1 Thanks for reading this. I really want feedback on this, so take a *couple of seconds* to tell me if this was a waste of your time or not. I have future ideas about where to take this and was wondering if I should stop myself before you guys have to. Comments/suggestions/hate-mail (I enjoy all three). C'mon, E-mail me! You know you wanna! Gitaro the Metalhead at 4alldaze@msn.com.