Disclaimer: See Part 1. Also, chances are that the parts will have very
little to do with each other.



Because It’s There

By Ozelon

Part 2: In Which Nobody Does Anything In Particular

Tenchi Muyo was over, and, of course the crew was no longer needed for
casting, and they were unceremoniously thrown out on the street by the 
nice but very adamant Pioneer associates.(Gee, it took me five minutes 
to come up with that beginning!) Anyways, after sulking for a while on 
the curb in front of Pioneer, and watching the other anime crews 
pointing and laughing at them from an upstairs office (A well-timed and
written ‘This will happen to you as well!’ sign shut them up, though), 
the team retreated to Tenchi‘s house.

Everyone (except Ayeka, who wasn’t there because... it’s not that I 
don’t like her, it’s just that... I um... never mind) gathered in the 
living room, and discussed various options of earning money.

So, everyone tried to discuss the matter of employment peacefully, 
but, seeing that none of them were very bright, (with the exception of 
Washu, who was a genius but had mysteriously disappeared by 
coincidence, heh, heh... yeah, coincidence) they could not agree on 
anything. None of their ideas were any good, anyway, and after an hour 
of arguing, which involved a bunch of sharp flying objects, a LOT of 
medicine, and much profanity from Kagato and Sasami (Yes!!! Sasami!!! 
You see, she just feigns niceness to cover up her short-tempered 
rebellious side), they came up with nothing.

"I say we start a beauty salon," said Kagato. "Hey, why are you 
laugh..." Then, Kagato realized what he had said, and turned bright 
red. "I mean... um..."

*coughqueercough* said Ryoko as soon as she had managed to stop 
rolling in the floor laughing.

Kagato turned redder, if that was possible. "I... I meant... I will 
kill you all!" he yelled, as is customary of murderous maniacs. 
(Kagato turns to glare at the author, he shrugs and grins.) Kagato 
made a mental note to burn the author’s computer, and remembered 
he was in the middle of casting his really long sword spell thingy. 
"Storm Att-!"

He stopped mid-sentence, seeing that no one was paying any attention 
to him, and everyone was still laughing. So, instead of killing them, 
he settled for locking himself in the bedroom and sulking.

"Maybe we should form a band," said Tenchi. Now, this was actually a good
idea, but, since, for the sake of sanity, no one listens to Tenchi, the idea
was discarded.



Then everyone sat and thought for two more hours, since, as I mentioned,
none of them was very bright.

Everyone sighed, then looked to Mihoshi. "O great leader, we will do
whatever you wish!" they chanted. Mihoshi grinned at the author, who decided
to mind-control the team. (Okay, I admit it, unlike… err… everyone, I for
one like Mihoshi, so that’s how it’s gonna be.  I'm a Holy Knight of KOME, so 
blah on you all.)

Just then, Washu walked in after being "delayed."  She
walked into the living room, and upon seeing everyone bowing to Mihoshi and
calling her the ‘all powerful goddess’ over and over, deduced that something
was fishy. So, she made a thick stack of papers appear from thin air (she
can do that, you know) ‘Fanfic Writer’s Contract’ was scribbled on the cover
sheet.

Washu looked to everyone bringing sacrifices to Mihoshi, then leafed through
the papers quickly. "Aha!" she said, triumphantly to the author. "It is
written here that you’re not permitted to hypnotize your characters! Stop it
this instant!" she yelled at him. He reluctantly complied, but made sure to
fry Washu with a bolt of electricity. "Ow! That’s not allowed, eith—" ZZAP!
"Ow! Stop that!" ZZAP! Washu, being the intellectual that she is, decided to
keep his mouth shut. (I love authority. But, of course, I never pick on
Washu, so it was about time.)

The rest of the team, who were coming to, realized what they had been doing
and felt absolutely beastly (well, except Tencchi, who was used to that sort
of mind stuff). So, after beating up Mihoshi for making them bow down to
her, they turned on little ol’ me. "No fair! That’s not in the contract!"
growled Ryoko, her eyes glowing red. Uh-oh, that can’t be good. Luckily, I’m
the author so the enraged Ryoko and the rest of the crew can’t hurt me!
Bwahahahaha! Sorry, I didn’t know there was so much sugar in this nice iced
tea.

Anyways, after getting my computer thoroughly toasted by several energy
attacks, I decided it would be best to apologize to everyone and give them a
bunch of money. (Great, I have no computer, AND no money to buy a new one
with, Quite the predicament I’m in…)

So, everyone was happy in the end, except for Kagato, who was still in the
bedroom muttering about stingy demons, and Mihoshi, who was still bruised
and battered from getting beat up. Since I like Mihoshi, I decided to give
her a rare piece of metal, and she, too, was finally happy. Due to my
generous gift of 20,000 yen, the team now had enough cash to sustain
themselves for a few… days, and thus decided to put off looking for jobs for
another time.

                                   The End

"Hey, wait a damn minute, none of us ain’t had any lines in the entire fic!"
shouted Washu at the author. He woke up, since this was four hours later,
and it was night, and the fic was long finished. "Huh? There’s what in the
where now?" he muttered groggily. He then groaned, and manifested himself in
the living room of the Masaki house. It was day there, since it’s almost always 
day in the Tenchi world.

Washu, Ryoko, and Sasami looked at him, and burst out laughing, because he
was wearing fuzzy pink pajamas. (how sad, being made fun of in my own
story!)

The author looked at them for a moment, and zapped them all with lightning,
which got their attention. "What did you want again?" he asked.

"None of us said anything in this whole fanfic. I don’t think that’s #@$*&
fair… whoops," said Sasami, and immediately covered her mouth, realizing she
had cursed.

"Yeah. Can’t you turn back time and put in some lines for us?" asked
Ryoko. The author yawned and thought for a second. "No!" he stated.
"Besides, you have already said a line each, so, my job here is done!" he
declared dramatically. "’Night!" With that, I… er, he vanished and
teleported back into his soft, warm bed.

The three of them (that’s Washu, Ryoko, and what’s-her-name) stared after
the author for a second, then stalked off to sulk, muttering about how I
wasn’t considerate enough, and how the Fanfic Writer’s Contract was supposed
to protect them from being ignored (Note to self: I should really find that
contract and destroy it!).

TO BE CONTINUED!

Will the author ever get his hands on the FFW Contract? Will Ayeka ever come
back? Will anybody ever get a job? Are you reading this fanfic, or is it all
just a figment of your imagination? Do you care? Find out in the next
exciting chapter of "Because It’s There", brought to you by coffee..... The
stimulant for a new generation of fanfic writers. ^_^