David J. Thompson (regretfully) presents: "And Now for Something
Completely Stupid!!"
Ch.4 "I Can't Think of Any other Titles that have 'Stupid' in Them"

Just a little note for those who don't get the title:
"And now for something completely stupid" is a play on words for the
Monty Python phrase: "And now for something completely different"

Anyway, on with the show!!
*************************

        "Garbonzo" said Uuplaku.

        Dave looked at the Anime god quizzically, as if expecting a joke or
something.

        "This has got to be a joke or something" Dave retorted, not the
least
bit amused.  "Who in their right mind would name themselves after a
bean?"  This clearly was getting weird.

        Then she remembered an episode of Sorcerer Hunters she had heard of
but
never seen.  The main enemy's name was Croissant.  She had laughed when
she heard this, especially with his/her cohort, Bagel.  This made her
laugh harder.  In Japanese class, she had come across the word Gohan,
which meant rice.  She immediately recognized this as the character from
Dragon Ball Z, and again she laughed.  Combined with the prefix Asa,
Hiru, and Ban, these became Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.  The Japanese
language was just one big laugh fest.

        Ah Japanese to Romaji translation was rife with difficulty, but it
could
be pulled off if you knew how.  But at the time there were more pressing
matters.  Pressing matters like Uuplaku pressing Dave's pulse to feel if
she was alive.  The touch of the Kami brought Dave back from her
Stereotypical-Anime pensive state, and back in to the real world (If you
could call it that).

        Uuplaku whispered cautiously "Yo, you alive?"  Dave shook her head a
little to clear herself from her thoughts.

        "Yeah, I'm fine.  But what's with this Garbonzo thing anyway?  What
does
he have to do with this whole time space continuity thing?  Dave asked.

        "What time space continuity thing?  I didn't say anything about a
time
space continuity thing"  Uuplaku answered.

        Suddenly, a large chunk of the plot fell onto the tatami, causing a
great crash.  Obviously, this was a sign that the plot was falling
through.  Both individuals stared at the plot until Uuplaku finally
realized what had just happened.  "Dammit!!" he said, visibly shaken.
"Garbonzo is beginning to take the multiverse apart!!"

        "Eh?" again the quizzical look from Dave.

        "Well, I can see you can't quite comprehend what we Kami and Megami
do
up here, so I'll explain."
********************
(Anime Narrative scene here, bring your pillows)

Up here in this realm, there is not just one, but many gods controlling
each and every facet of the multiverse.  In the multiverse, there are
several bazillion realms, and in each realm there is something different.

        For example: I am in control of the Aniverse and all characters
therein.
 The companies you know as AIC, Pioneer, Manga Anime etc. are merely just
subsidiaries of my infinite will.  So when you write out the copyright at
the top of your fanfic, you are actually referring to me!!

        Everything Anime is controlled by myself.  Everything from Dragon
Ball
to Tenchi Muyo to Muldiver to the obscure series "Boy!"

        In the Earth universe, the one you know as God is not actually in
control there.  The real "God" is actually Hawk Tomeo of Spokane,
Washington.  Although he does not know it, he controls the entire Earth
universe, what you call "The real world"

        Each time something like a new, oh say, Comic Book series is
created, a
new universe is opened up.  That's why there's a Superman-verse, a
Tenchi-verse, and other assorted -verses.

But, at the very top, holding all the fabric of reality together is one
individual, Garbonzo.

        Garbonzo is a being of pure will, a will so strong that he can keep
the
very fabric of reality together with just his mind.  His mind is that of
courage, intelligence, and absolute power.

        Now the deal with Garbonzo is that he's been holding the fabric of
reality together for an innumerable amount of years.  After that long,
even the strongest of minds begins to break down.  Just like with what
you call "Stress", overwork will cause people to go a little nutzoid
every once in a while, and Garbonzo just reached critical mass.  The plot
falling out earlier was an example of that insanity.  Garbonzo is losing
his grip on reality, and so loses his grip on the fabric of reality.

        Garbonzo, being an immortal, cannot simply be killed, unfortunately.
That's where you come in.

(End Narrative sequence)
********************
        Dave's ears were about to go numb by all the talk from Uuplaku, but
after he finished, Dave breathed a sigh of relief.

        Dave stretched to ease her back from the long sit she had just
endured.
The only other time she had felt this way was after 5 hours of continuous
Starcraft play.  Her back was so sore that she couldn't sit down any
more, so she shakily stood up.  Feeling how much easier it was to stand,
Dave made a long stretch backwards.  Dave's shirt, being much to short
for her tall, slender frame, was brought up across her stomach and into a
very revealing view.

        Uuplaku's eyes widened immensely, and he lowered his head to get a
better look.  Dave, upon noticing this, immediately snapped back into a
standing position, and planted a roundhouse kick firmly of the Kami's
jaw.

        "Pervert"

Getting back up with a very sore jaw, Uuplaku regained himself in his
seiza position.  His eyes twinkled merrily as he smiled, but then went
back to a serious tone.  Dave did not take heart in his merriment.

        Uuplaku spoke once again "But getting back to our original point,
since
I have brought you here, I also must assign you your mission"

        "Yeah yeah, kill Garbonzo, save the Universe.  Crap like that, eh?"
said Dave

        "Yes, something like that, but there's twist to it."  Uuplaku smiled
slightly.

        Dave replied, cautiously "A twist eh?  What would it be then?"

        Uuplaku replied again "The thing is, being an immortal means
Garbonzo
cant be killed."

        "Well duh!  You said that already!"  Dave snapped back, her face a
little flushed.

        "Well, there's another catch.  Garbonzo is a being of immense will,
and
with immense will comes immense courage and confidence.  He is the most
courageous being in all the multiverse.  He has absolutely no fear, not
even a fear of death."

        Dave replied rather testily "So what does that have to do with me?"

        Uuplaku was getting rather annoyed at this foreigner, but he kept
his
anger in check and simply replied "Well, Garbonzo is a being of such
immortal courage and confidence, that it would take a void of courage to
defeat him.  The person would have to be so utterly afraid of everything,
that he would have that void.  In defeating Garbonzo, his courage would
be absorbed into the person, creating a living form of a god."

        Dave was annoyed that he was dancing around the point, but instead
replied with a cool tone "So what position does that put me in?"

        Uuplaku said "Well, there's only 1 person in the entire Aniverse
that
even has a remote chance of stopping Garbonzo, Tenchi Masaki."

        "Uummmm, ok.  Why didn't you call Tenchi here instead of me?"

        Uuplaku replied "Simple my dear, Tenchi just isn't wimpy ENOUGH to
stop
him.  Only the son of one of truly wussy qualities and one of Earth can
possibly stop Garbonzo."

        Dave was about to speak, but caught himself.  As soon as he hear the
word son, did he truly realize what the little Kami meant.  It was all
very clear now.

        A stutter emerged from Dave's lips, "Does.....that
mean......I.....?"

        Uuplaku knew he would have to tell her this.  As hard as it may be,
it
had to happen. He simply said, "Yes.  In order to defeat Garbonzo, you
MUST bear the son of Tenchi Masaki!!!"
*********************
Uuplaku: Wow kids, wasn't that exciting?!

Dave: 0_0;;

Uuplaku: Whats'a matter Dave?  You look a little glum.

Dave: A little glum? A LITTLE GLUM?!!!!!!!  HOLY FLYING FRAG!!!!!  DO YOU
REALIZE WHAT JUST HAPPENNED IN THIS STORY???!!!!!!!

Uuplaku: Yeah, I told you that you had to save the Universe by having
Tenchi's baby

Dave: Ok, I am a guy, Tenchi is a.......

Uuplaku: No you arent.  You got your gender switched, remember?

Dave: >_< IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT!!!!  I WAS a guy!!!!  I still have
that 'Guy' mentality!!

Uuplaku: Well dangit, give up that 'Guy' mentality and have fun
girlfriend.

Dave: ARGH!!!!  Beside that, do you know how freaking hard its gonna be
to get Tenchi to sleep with me in the first place?!

Uuplaku: ................ I hadn't thought about that

Dave: Great job smart one

Uuplaku: Hey!  Don't yell at me!! I didn't formulate your destiny!!

Dave: ARGH!!!  My hair got all messed up during that damn monologue of
yours!!  Now I'm gonna have to get it redone!!  If this is permanent Im
just going to have a FIT!

Uuplaku: (Hmm, I think that 'Guy' mentality just went out the window.
This might not be so hard after all!)
*****************

Hey everyone, its the author!!  I'd just like to thank all you people
that e-mailed me with positive stuff about my work (All 2 of you!!)

More stupid stuff like this and more in our next exciting chapter, "No
need for a messiah!!"

Hey!!  Check out my extremely stupid (And extremely outdated) webpage at:
www.expage.com/page/watashiwa

And while yer there, SIGN THE DARN GUESTBOOK!!!!

And e-mail me!!  I get lonely on this little marble they call earth.