Adjusting to Maxim I don't own any of the Tenchi Muyo characters. Except for Maxim, the rest is Pioneer's property. This takes place two days after Maxim appeared... The whole gang is at the dinner table... waiting for Maxim to return. Tenchi: Where is he? I want to eat my dinner! Yosho: It is impolite to eat without the whole family. Tenchi: Family? Maxim isn't family. Maxim appears in front of Tenchi.... Maxim: Yes I am Tenchi! Noboyuki: Who are you? Maxim: (Insert 2 drops) I'm uh.... Ryoko's father!!!(Insert sweat) Ryoko: WHAT???? Noboyuki: You are... so that makes us.... brother-in-laws? Maxim: BROTHER!!! Noboyuki: BROTHER!!! They both hug! Tenchi: Maxim! Noboyuki: You got a fine daughter right there Maxim. Maxim: Thanks. ^_^ Ryoko: Ugh! Ayeka: Then who's the mother? Maxim: Shut-up Ayeka, or you'll go back to Jurai in very small little black boxes. Tenchi: MAXIM!!!!! Maxim is holding something.... Sasami: What's that? Maxim: This? Oh it's just a steak from the US. Tenchi: Are you gonna... cook? Maxim: Yeah. LOOK!! IT'S A NUDE WOMAN OVER THERE!!! Noboyuki and Yosho peer out the window. Maxim, using his powers fries the steak to medium rare. Tenchi: Where'd you get those powers? Are you related to Ryoko? Maxim: No, I just had these powers for as long as I can remember. Maxim pulls out a large knife.... Ayeka: AHHH!!! He's going to kill us!(Faints) Maxim: What weird images the imagination makes in our minds. Maxim starts to cut the steak... Few minutes later.... Tenchi: That was actually good Maxim. You did well! Maxim: Well, I bet you are wondering what that pod was... it was Washuu enters and cuts Maxim off in mid-sentence Washuu: A pod used to preserve whatever it was holding. That can keep someone alive for over 1000 years. Sorta like what I was imprisioned in. Tenchi: Really? Maxim: Any other questions? Ryoko: How'd you become the greatest Bounty Hunter in the galaxy? Maxim: I had a deadly attitude and I carried a big gun. Next? Ayeka: How were you captured? If you were the greatest Bounty Hunter? Maxim: My beer was spiked, heavily, and then I was captured, put in that giant floating anal probe, and landed here. Noboyuki: I can't find that nude girl, where is she Maxim? Maxim:......... Oh yeah. She left, it's pretty cold out there. Maxim gets up.... Maxim: Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk, anyone want to join? Ryoko: Me! Ayeka: Me! Uh I mean No! I'll just watch to make sure you don't plot on stealing Tenchi! Maxim: See you at my room in the attic. The Next day..... Tenchi opens the door to Maxim's room.... thousands of beer cans, bottles, and sake jars fall out of the room. Ryoko and Ayeka are in a drunken sleep. Maxim: They both keeled over after glass four! Tenchi: Maxim? You're still sober and drinking? Maxim: Yep! Tenchi: Will you help me get them out of here? Maxim: Ummm... no.(Fades out) Maxim appears in front of a tree and lies down to sleep. Voice: HI! Maxim: AHHH!!!! Who's there? Sasami: It's me Sasami. Ryo-ohki: Meow! Maxim: Oh, you two. What do you want? Sasami: Are you happy here? Maxim: What? Sasami: You seem terribly sad... why? Maxim: I've had a sad life... full of death, drinking and corruption. Sasami: Do you have a family. I bet they're worried about you. Maxim: Oh to be 8 years old again... but I have no family. I had to raise myself since I was 7 years old. My "Family" was a band of space pirates.... not much of a family, but they taught me how to act smoothly in tough situations, operate any type of spacecraft, fight with any sort of weapon, and how to break handcuffs. Then they left me at a bar when Galaxy Police came. Well, what do you think Sasami? Sasami is laying down next to Maxim, sleeping. Ryo-oki is sleeping on Maxim's chest. Maxim: I have got to stop getting lost in a conversation. The next day..... Ayeka is trying to hurry downstairs so she can watch her favorite soap opera on TV. Ayeka: Today is the day when Tetsuo and Yami get married. I can't wait! When she gets down to the TV room, guess who's sleeping on th couch, with the TV on..... Maxim! He has the control right next to his hand. Ayeka: If I can just grab the TV control, he won't know till it's too late and I'll get to see the marriage scene. She reaches for the control.... Ayeka: Almost got it. Maxim's hand shoots out and grabs hers. Maxim: I don't think so... I'm watching American Hunter, an NRA show about hunting. I don't care about Soap Operas! Ayeka: Give me the control Maxim! That's an order! Maxim: Are you.... ordering me? Ayeka: Umm.... yeah. Maxim: I don't like being ordered around your highness... it's one of my very bad most hated things of all! Now sit down! WE'RE WATCHING HUNTING!!! That's an order.(Smirks) Ayeka grabs control.... Maxim stands up. Ayeka: Now we're watching my soap opera. Maxim: Give it back!(Pushes Ayeka) Ayeka: NO!(Pushes back) Ring Bell: DING DING!!! Ayeka vs. Maxim. Ayeka throws down the control... Ayeka: You know I'm not powerless! Maxim: I know that, you Jurais are a pretty powerful race. Especially the Royal Family! Little Azakas and Kamidakes appear around Maxim.... Maxim: What are these little toilets? A giant eletrical current zaps Maxim. Maxim: Yeouch!! These things pack a punch. Ayeka: Suprised? Now to end this conflict! Maxim: Don't play with matches.... Maxim throws a laser at Ayeka... it sends her into the kitchen. Maxim: You could get burned!!! Tenchi: What's going on here? Maxim: A little lesson teaching from me, Ayeka thinks she can beat me. Maxim rips off the railing of the stairs. Maxim: Batter-up! Maxim runs into the kitchen. Ayeka is just getting up. Maxim: Don't take this too personally. Swings railing like a huge bat. Ayeka: Oh no! Ayeka barely got her defense shield up before Maxim hit her with that railing. But she still asorbed the impact, which sent her outside! Ryoko: What the heck is going on? Tenchi: Maxim and Ayeka are fighting. Now that's something new and different. Ryoko: I gotta go see this... By the time Ryoko gets outside, Maxim has already electricuted Ayeka. Ayeka: How can you do these things?? Ryoko: Yeah, you're supposed to be like me. Maxim: I don't know! But you sure can come in handy Ryoko. Ryoko: Huh? Maxim grabs Ryoko and throws her at Ayeka... TAG TEAM!!! Ryoko & Ayeka vs. Maxim!! Maxim: This isn't fair. Ryoko: Who said it had to be fair?(Throws an energy blast) Maxim catches energy blast and starts glowing green.... Maxim: Not only can I emmit electrical shocks from my fingers, I can asorb YOUR energy blasts, but I can amplify it! And redirect it!!! Maxim throws the energy blast at Ayeka. Ryoko: What else can you do? Maxim: This!! Maxim starts shooting energy blasts like a machine gun. Ryoko: Incoming!(Fades out) Tenchi runs out and tries to stop this mess. Maxim: No need for you Tenchi! Maxim teleports Tenchi to Yellowstone National Park in America. Ayeka: Bring him back! Ryoko: Yeah! Maxim: You two spend all you time fighting each other and now you're both fighting with each other? You two are very strange! Ryoko: Not as strange as you're going to look after we're through with you. Both girls attack from both sides, hitting Maxim with everything they've got. Maxim wasn't really prepared to fight both girls. Maxim: Dammit! This is not cool! (Fades out) Ayeka: Come back coward. Maxim teleports back with Tenchi. Tenchi: Now stop it you three. Maxim: She started it. Ayeka: Did not! Ryoko: Ayeka! Our Soap Opera almost over. Ayeka: Let's hurry... Maxim: Yoohoo, Ayeka! Ayeka: What? Maxim pulls out TV control from his pocket. Maxim: Looking for this? Ayeka runs over to Maxim and clutches his shoulders... Ayeka: Please Sir Maxim! Give it me! GIVE IT TO ME!!!! Maxim: Oh, alright. But you owe me. Ayeka: Thank you Sir Maxim.(Grabs control and kisses him) Both girls leave to go watch their Soap Opera. Maxim is still standing there.... Tenchi: What's the matter Maxim? Maxim: What was the kiss for? Tenchi: Ayeka's been watching that Soap Opera for a long time. She really wants to see her two favorite characters get married and now they finally have. Maxim: Oh! A "Gratitude Kiss", she was really grateful to me. As it turned out, Ayeka did not miss the wedding of Tetsuo and Yami. That night.... Maxim and Sasami are sitting down by the lake. Maxim: So you see Sasami, you just cast your line out like this and wait for the fish to take a bite. Then you jerk the line to get the fish onto the hook and then reel him in as fast as possible. Sasami: How will I know if I have a bite? Maxim: Trust me, you'll know. Two minutes later... Sasami: I've got a bite! Maxim: Jerk the hook. Later on.... Maxim: A 7 inch fish! Man, I only caught a 4 incher on MY first try. Sasami: That was just beginners luck. Ayeka walks up to Maxim... Ayeka: Sir Maxim.... Maxim: Sir? Ayeka: Because you gave me the control, I was able to see my most anticipated episode of all time. Thank you. Maxim: If you just call me Maxim, then you won't owe me any favors in the future. Ayeka: Done. Sasami: Ayeka, look at this fish I caught. Ayeka: Wow! Did you teach her Maxim? Maxim: Well, a little.(Pulls out a beer) Ayeka: Drinking in front of Sasami? How could you! You savage brute. Maxim: So much for that grateful bit. Thanks for the kiss Your HighAss! Ayeka: When Tenchi hears of this, you'll be sorry! He loves me you know? Maxim: I don't see why.... Ayeka: What? Maxim: #1. You're a stuck-up bitch. #2. You are too dominating. and #3. Your tits, are too small! Ayeka is red with rage. Ayeka: WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW!!!! YOU'RE A GUY!!!!!! Ayeka storms off... Maxim: What bug crawled up her ass and bit? Sasami: I don't know. Maxim: I like you more than your sister. Sasami: Who are you in love with? Ayeka, Ryoko, Washuu, Mihoshi, or Kiyone? Maxim: Well, I just like you as a friend Sasami. Sasami: I know that, but who do you love. Maxim: Promise you won't tell? Sasami: Promise. Maxim leans over and whispers in Sasami's ear. Sasami: HER?? THE END