Disclaimer: These people, places, and llamas are property of the Moose.

**We apologize for the absurd disclaimer.  The writers of the disclaimer have 
been sacked.**

REAL Disclaimer: The cast of Tenchi Muyo are property of AIC and Pioneer.
The english guard and any mooses, meese, moosi, or llamas are property of Monty
Python.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(scene opens on an old English castle surrounded in fog.  Hoofbeats can be heard
from the distance.)

(enters Tenchi and Sasami from the fog.  Tenchi is skipping as Sasami bangs two
halves of a coconut together.  Ryo-ohki enters on Sasami's head.)

TENCHI: Whoa there! 

ENGLISH GUARD: Halt! Who goes there? 

TENCHI: It is I, Tenchi, son of Masaki Nobiyuki, from the House of Masaki. 
	Emperor of Jurai, defeator of Kagato, sovereign of all the universe!

ENGLISH GUARD: Pull the other one! 

TENCHI: I am. And this my trusty Goddess, Sasami.  We have flown the length and
	breadth of the universe in search of samurais who will join me in my
	court at the Jurain Palace. I must speak with your lord and master. 

ENGLISH GUARD: What, flown on a spaceship? 

TENCHI: Hai!

ENGLISH GUARD: You're using a cabbit!

TENCHI: What?

ENGLISH GUARD: You've got a cute little cabbit and you're flying 'er through
	space.

TENCHI: So? We have flown since the snows of winter covered this land, past the
	planet of Mercury, through--

ENGLISH GUARD: Where'd you get the Cabbit?

TENCHI: We found her.

ENGLISH GUARD: Found her? On Mercury? The cabbit's agricutural! 

TENCHI: What do you mean? 

ENGLISH GUARD: Well, Mercury is a burning wasteland.

TENCHI: The Galaxy Police may fly close in pursuit of criminals or the Jurain
	Tree or the Demon may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
	strangers to our land. 

ENGLISH GUARD: Are you suggesting cabbits migrate? 

TENCHI: Not at all, they could be chased.

ENGLISH GUARD: What -- a Galazy Police officer chasing a cabbit?

**We're sorry, but we had to stop here, because if we tried to explain why a
Galaxy Police officer lacks the weight ratio to chase a cabbit, things would
have gotten confusing.  So, in the interests of the spam fic, we have been
sacked.  We are truly sorry for the many unaswered questions this leaves, such
as "Why Tenchi is gathering samurais, in England, no less?" and "Exactly what is
Sasami doing with those coconut halves?"   We can only assure you that the
answers to your questions is '42.' Send all comment, opinions, blah, blah, blah
blah, blah, bkuhn@ucsd.edu and okuhn@ucsd.edu blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.**