As the USS Brian Drummond streaks through the infinite night that is space, Weber-san thinks back on all the works his crew has MSTed. He realizes that his true goal, to attack Sasami Lemons, has been overlooked of late. But then, after seeing Kanashii no Imi...he shudders in mere memory of the darkfic. I know what I must do-he thought-but they aren't ready yet. Not at all. Still, this next exercise should make them a bit tougher... "Well, Zechs is on leave, but I think I've found a suitable replacement for him for this one. Ryoko and Vegeta are still available. Rei...well, I could leave her on the group...for now anyway. He summons his MST cast, none of whom are owned by him, are owned by Sunrise, Funimation, Gainax, and Pioneer, and from whom no profit is being made so please don't sue, it's out of love for the characters... Roll Call: Vegeta: Prince of the Saiya-jin. Ryoko: Daughter of Washuu-chan Rei Ayanami: Destroyer of worlds and the new guy: Milliardo Peacecraft. Vegeta: Hmmm. You look familiar to me, Milliardo. Rei: ... Ryoko: Wow! It's about time we got some good looking guys here! Milliardo: The honor is all mine. So, tell me, is this MST business difficult? Rei: It depends on the fanfic. Ryoko: Some of the time, we wonder why they're called that, since some of these writers aren't exactly fans. Vegeta: Like Tank Cop. Brrrr. Ryoko: Or that 10 o' Clock bastard Weber-san: And then there's my usual target. I give him a hard time, since he wrote that "A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass Breaking..." crap. Peter Suzuki. Vegeta: Hadn't you better lay off him? I've been reading numerous other MSTs of late, and he seems to be quite popular among them. Weber-san: Well, I invited him to return the favor to all my work, and he said he'd think about it. Turnabout's fair play and all. But then, I never tried to write a lemon, now did I? Milliardo: So, what are we doing today? Weber-san: Well, you're new to the group, so we'll give you something light. Ryoko: HEY! My first MST was that stupid Sasami Lemon Suzuki wrote. And then you made me do that "Ruby-Red, Cat-Like Eyes" crap! When do I get treated special? Weber-san: I'm already making arrangements to compensate you in my fanfics, so stuff it! Anyway, without further ado... A Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction. Keeping Ryoko Out. Honk-Honk! By Peter Suzuki. Ryoko: I have a bad feeling about this all of a sudden. Vegeta: Gee. That's too bad. The series "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer LDC, AIC, and its contributors. All rights reserved. WARNING: Mild LEMON. Do not read if under 18. The title will make perfect sense, by the end of the story. Milliardo: A lemon can make sense? Ryoko: What scares me is that this is a Suzuki fic, so he might deliver on that threat. ###################################################################### Vegeta: Oh, is this an episode of Picket Fences? It was around midnight in the Masaki home. All of the occupants appeared to be asleep. APPEARED to be asleep. Milliardo: Appearances can be deceiving. Vegeta(as Meatloaf): And objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are. Ryoko(holding ears): Vegeta, don't sing anymore, ok. Rei: Um...I kind of liked it. One soul quietly moved down the upstairs hallway, toward a door halfway down the hall. Two long ponytails streamed down her back, and gently glided left and right, as the young woman looked down both directions of the hall, trying to see if anyone saw her in front of the door. All: Sasami???!!!! Satisfied that no one else was there, Ayeka All breath a sigh of relief. proceeded to knock on Tenchi's door, to deactivate the security lock that Washu had placed, to keep intruders out. If she knocked quietly enough, she could enter without anyone else knowing. If luck was with her, she would be able to enter, without Tenchi waking up, as well. Vegeta: So, she's planning on jumping him in his sleep? Ryoko: Hey! That's MY tactics! "My, my. Aren't we bold tonight, princess." Said a seductive, and rather taunting, voice from behind Ayeka. Milliardo:(heavy on the sarcasm) Gee. I wonder who it could be. Ayeka turned around, one hundred and eighty degrees. Her expression was one of anger, instead of surprise. After all, she knew EXACTLY who it was. Vegeta: Who in this room didn't? Rei: (raises hand and blushes): I am not familiar with Tenchi yet. Ryoko: I'm the only one who gets "familiar" with him, got it? "Miss Ryoko," Ayeka's voice was barely a whisper, but succeeded in indicating all of the anger that she felt. "Just what do you think you are doing, at this time of night?" Ryoko: Me? I was out for a midnight snack. Howsabout you? "The same thing I do every morning, noon, and night, princess." Said Ryoko. Rei(as Brain): Try to take over the world! "The exact same thing that YOU were just trying to do." Milliardo: You'd think Tenchi would find another way to keep these women out. Vegeta: Nah. He likes the attention. Ayeka turned away, with a smug expression. "Really. You have such an active imagination, Miss Ryoko. To think that MY wanting to see if Lord-Tenchi was safe, and peacefully asleep, is anything like your foolish antics, is absolutely absurd." Ayeka silently praised the fact that formal princess training included acting lessons. Ryoko: So when's she gonna start? Ryoko talked on, as if Ayeka had not spoken a word. "Your plan won't work, anyway. Tenchi had Washu change the trap setting, so that it could only be opened if he says 'Come in'. It won't work any other way. . .for YOU anyway." Ryoko: Mom fixed it so *I* could go in whenever I wanted. Rei: I've met your mother. She'd do it. "*Hmph!*" snorted Ayeka. "Do you honestly expect me to believe your stupid lies?" To prove her point, Ayeka gently knocked on the door *Tap* *Tap* and opened it slightly *Swoo. . .* *Btzzt* *Wan* The sounds of the trap being set off were so quiet, that no one else in the house noticed them. Or the splash coming from outside, made by Ayeka being transported directly OVER the lake. Tenchi's door quickly, and quietly sided back into place. Vegeta: How does a door "side back into place" ? Milliardo: Ya got me. Vegeta: What makes you think I want you? "Why should I lie, when it's so much fun to tell the truth." Said Ryoko, to herself. Vegeta: I'm almost tempted to date her now. But my father warned me never to date a woman more devious than myself. Ryoko: Whereever did you find one? She then counted the seconds as she heard footsteps approaching the house, the sound of the back door sliding open, and sliding closed, the sound of 'slightly-soggy' footsteps coming through the living room, and up the stairs, and finally to the point where she was face-to-face with a sopping wet, and very unhappy about it, Ayeka. "Not bad, princess. You must be in GREAT shape to make it all the way up here from the lake, in less than ten seconds." Vegeta:(blinks): Wait, when did Ayeka learn to move at Saiya-jin speeds? Rei: Are you really that fast? Vegeta: I could run around the Earth five times and not be seen moving. "Shut *gasp* up." Said Ayeka, too winded to speak loudly, even if she wanted too. "Anyway, it's no use to try to hide what you were going to do, unless you were planning on 'seeing if Tenchi was safe, and peacefully asleep' without any underwear." Vegeta: And just why were YOU looking? Ryoko: This is the last time I'm going to say it, and then people are going to start dying. I do NOT swing that way!!!! "How did you know I wasn't. . . Uh- I mean, just WHAT makes you think that I would be doing that, anyway?" "Ayeka, look down at what you are wearing." Said Ryoko, smirking. Vegeta(as Ryoko): Cause I did, and I liked what I saw. Ryoko mallets Vegeta. Hard. Ayeka looked at what she was wearing, only to realize that she had lost the belt to her robe somewhere from the lake to the house, and that she was wearing, and ONLY wearing her outer robe. Ayeka gave a startled yelp, and quickly covered herself. Milliardo: So she IS a natural purple. I always wondered about that. Rei: I will state now that if any of you try to ascertain just how "natural" my color is, you will be crushed by Unit 00. "Now as for me, I'm not going to hide what I'm planning on doing with my beloved Tenchi." said Ryoko, looking quite proud of herself. Ryoko: You bet your ass! "What do you mean by 'YOUR beloved Tenchi'?" said Ayeka, in a very sour tone. "And besides. If I can not enter Lord-Tenchi's bedchambers, what makes you think that YOU can?" Rei: Because she's smarter than the average space pirate? Vegeta: Weak. Milliardo: Because she's got the look? Ryoko: Lame. Vegeta: Because she's Ryoko, feared throughout the universe as the jumper of teenaged boys? Rei: I like that one. Ryoko: Die, Saiya-jin. Ryoko smirked, and said, "Washu put the trap around Tenchi's door, but not on the walls." To prove her point, Ryoko phased her hand through the wall to Tenchi's room, unharmed. Ryoko: How come I never thought of that before? Vegeta: Well, so much for being smarter. Unbeknownst to Tenchi, an alien's hand was going through his 'Aliens Resurrection' movie poster, ironically right where the woman's stomach was pictured. All:-_- "I will have no problems getting into Tenchi's room. See-ya." Said Ryoko, as she prepared to phase in through the wall. Ayeka, desperate, and not wanting Ryoko to use her advantage without a fight, jumped at Ryoko. "Oh no you don't, Miss Ryoko." Yes, for all you perverts reading this, her robe DID open up again. Vegeta: I still can't believe that Suzuki has the nerve to call US perverts! Rei: Well, you were wondering, weren't you? Vegeta: Yes. But that's beside the point! Ayeka reached around Ryoko, gripped what she thought was Ryoko's shoulder, and tried to pull the cyan-hared woman back from the hall. Rei: Cyan-haired. Vegeta: Suzuki's spell check needs checking. *goosh!* *Thunk!* "Ow! What the hey?" Instead of phasing through the wall, Ryoko knocked her head against it. Vegeta: Wasn't your arm still in the wall? Ryoko: Apparently. Why? Vegeta: Wouldn't solidifying with it there be a severe problem? Milliardo: I can see where losing an arm might be a bit of a pain. Rei: I did it once. Grew right back. There was a very good reason as to why. "Ha! It seems that I have foiled your plans." Said Ayeka, still gripping Ryoko. "Ayeka, just WHAT do you think you are grabbing?" said Ryoko, sounding rather angry. Vegeta:(as Ayeka) Why, a hot sexy pirate, of course. "Your shoulder, of course." Responded Ayeka. "This shoulder, or that one?" asked Ryoko, pointing to both of her shoulders, revealing that neither of them were in Ayeka's grasp, and giving Ayeka a look that conveyed the message 'You can't possibly be THAT stupid.' Ryoko: Oh yes she can! "Then. . . Then what am I. . ." Ayeka then briefly wondered why what she was grabbing had a mildly hard lump on its soft, yet firm surface. Vegeta reaches over to see if they are indeed soft yet firm. Ryoko bites his hand. She then realized what it was, that she was grabbing. "Oh dear." Ayeka blushed deep red, but was too shocked to let go. Rei:... Milliardo: Uh-huh. I'll bet. "Now that we're done with this meaningful moment." said Ryoko. "I've got something to do, so. . ." Ryoko once again tried phasing through the wall. "Oh, no you don't!" said Ayeka, clutching Ryoko's left breast a little tighter, unintentionally. Vegeta: I'm soooo sure. *Beep.* *Thunk!* "Ow!" Cursed Ryoko, as she once again bonked her head against the wall. Vegeta: "Ow!" That's not a curse. Now this is a curse... Before Vegeta can open his mouth, Ryoko mallets him. "Ha. What's the matter, Miss Ryoko? Can't seem to concentrate on your powers." Said Ayeka, finally realizing just why Ryoko could not phase through the wall. "Just a minor set back, I assure you." Said Ryoko, sounding more like her mother than she ever would admit. "I can still concentrate enough to get through this wall." Ryoko pressed herself slightly on the wall. Ayeka quickly began moving her hand in circles around Ryoko's breast. Vegeta(as Austin Powers): Does this make you horney, baby? Does it? Ryoko: Why do *I* get abused like this in all these stories! The weird sensation kept Ryoko from being able to move her body through the spaces, between the molecules of the wall. Also, it was really making Ryoko feel weird. It was not necessarily a BAD feeling, but it was strange to her, none the less. "Would you cut that out, you pervert!" said Ryoko, angrily. Ryoko: YEAH! Vegeta: Oh, you know you like it. "Who are you to call ME a pervert, you woman of loose morals?" argued Ayeka. "The one being molested by you, that's who!" said Ryoko, attempting to grab Ayeka, and ring her neck. Ryoko: And if I can't do that, I'll rip her hair out! Thinking quickly, Ayeka jumped onto Ryoko's back. Inadvertently, Ayeka also reached around Ryoko, trying to get another hand hold, and grabbed Ryoko's other breast. *Goosh.* "Arrrgh! I said, cut that out!" yelled Ryoko, practically waking everyone else in the house except Tenchi, who could only be woken up by the sounds of either his alarm clock, someone knocking on his door, or laser blasts outside his bedroom. The latter could not occur, as Ryoko was too busy trying to, literally, get Ayeka off of her back. Vegeta: It's worse than kicking a drug habit, isn't it. Rei: She reminds me of Asuka. Ryoko tried to phase through Ayeka, but that worked about as well as trying to phase through the wall to Tenchi's room. Then she tried to teleport away from Ayeka, but because Ayeka was in VERY close bodily contact with Ryoko, she was teleported as well. Finally, Ryoko tried ramming Ayeka up against the wall, to make the princess let go. Unfortunately for Ryoko, Ayeka's groping also took much of the power out of Ryoko's charge, causing the princess and the pirate to merely be forcibly bumped against the wall. Eventually, this same forceful bumping made its way to Tenchi's door. Tenchi woke up, realizing that someone was forcibly knocking on his door. Still slightly asleep, he said, "Come in." Rei: That was an incredibly poor choice of words. Tenchi's door automatically opened, something that Ryoko had forgotten that Washu had ALSO put in, and in rolled Ayeka and Ryoko, still in that same position, although Ryoko tried to use her hands to break her fall, only to have them wind up under Ayeka. Vegeta: I have to try that position with Bulma tonight. Milliardo: Is she even still speaking to you? Around that time, the rest of the Masaki household reached Tenchi's door. They all saw Ayeka and Ryoko, laying on the floor, Ayeka's bare chest pressed against Ryoko's back, her equally bare lower body wrapped around Ryoko, and her hands on Ryoko's chest, and Ryoko's hands under Ayeka's bottom. Milliardo: Take a picture. It'll last longer. Weber-san: I'm getting a few stills for us, guys. Rei and Ryoko in unison: MEN. Tenchi had a nosebleed powerful enough to send him flying back onto his bed. Sasami blushed. Rei(as Sasami): Oh, the eldest princess of Jurai is making out with a notorious space pirate. What'll I tell Mom and Dad? And Nobuyuki's reaction was probably the most surprising, coming from him anyway. "TENCHI!" Nobuyuki cried. "YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED! BECAUSE YOU'VE REFUSED THE AFFECTIONS OF ALL THESE GIRLS, THEY'VE NOW TURNED TO EACH OTHER FOR LOVE!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!" Everyone else got large sweatdrops on the back of their heads, at Nobuyuki's statement. Ayeka and Ryoko lamely shouted, not altering their positions in any way, "It's not what it looks like! We can explain!" Vegeta: Surrrrrre they can. ###################################################################### SCENES FROM THE NEXT EPISODE OF "TENCHI MUYO". ###################################################################### "I swear, it was NOTHING!!!" screamed Ryoko Milliardo: Pointing at Ayeka's chest. for the forty sixth time, as Ayeka's voice gave out over an hour ago, with the same statements. "It was an accident!" Vegeta: So THIS was the precursor to Ruby Red, Cat-Like Eyes! "Look, I'm just saying that if you two are going to do this sort of thing, you really should look into the Jurian laws for multiple marriages." Said Sasami, ignoring everything that Ryoko had said. Vegeta (with Juraian Customs in 12 Easy Lesson): Hmmm. Nope. Can't do it. The law strictly dictates that the betrothed must not engage in intercourse BEFORE the marriage. Juraians are traditionalists, after all. Milliardo: Wasn't it you who said that they were all inbred perverts? Vegeta: I thought as much. You're Zechs, aren't you! Milliardo: No. I...er...that is... Rei: Actually, yes. I saw Gundam Wing. Ryoko: And you haven't seen MY show? Rei: It's a mecha thing. "I've raished a leshbian! How could dish happen ta me!?! *HIC!*" slurred Washu. Vegeta: Wouldn't Washuu know the truth. I mean, she can read Ryoko's mind. She was experiencing first hand one of the bad points about having the body of a child. Low tolerance to alcohol. Washu took another chug of her day-old 'Snapple', and continued to wallow in self pity. "Where's Lord-Tenchi?" rasped Ayeka, wincing from the pain in her throat. "He's still passed out from the multiple nosebleeds." Answered Mihoshi, as she continued eating as if noting was wrong. THE END. AUTHOR'S NOTES: As you may have noticed from a few of my other stories, I kind of support the 'Ryoko & Ayeka' paring, when I have to choose a Girl-to-Girl match up. Vegeta: That's because pairing up Mihoshi with anyone is saddistic, even by MY standards. Rei: Pairing up Sasami is sick by any HUMAN standards. Ryoko: Kiyone isn't into it. Milliardo (donning mask to become Zechs once more): And Washuu is almost as bad as Sasami. Weber-san: Not to mention the fact that we've seen them close before. Ryoko: Mention the arrow thing again, and I'll kill you. I also think that they are the best choices for Tenchi's future brides. Sorry, that's just how I feel. If you are wondering where I came up with this idea, it started a while back ago when I read Brazil's Fan Fiction Review for Doug Whiddon's "Two Panes of Glass". Where the wake up scene with Ryoko and Ayeka was listed as a classic scene, that made the story memorable (or something like that). So I decided to make a Fic where an ACTUAL misunderstanding about their sexual preferences takes place. Ryoko: Satan, thy name is Suzuki. Vegeta: But tell us how you REALLY feel. The joke about what Washu was drinking is conned from the joke, "I can't drink liquor. I get dizzy when I drink an old 'Snapple'." No offense intended. I heard it once somewhere on TV. I don't know if "Ryoko and Ayeka's Shrine of Love" is going to like this or not. Oh well. Can't wait to start getting feedback on this. ^_^ Weber-san: MORE. GIVE US MORE! Vegeta: Oh, that's right. You like Ayeka/Ryoko pair ups. Rei: Just so long as you don't like me paired up with Asuka, Misato, Dr. Akagi, Maya, or any of the Sailor Soldiers... Peter Suzuki. Ryoko: I'll get him if it's the last thing I do! Weber-san: Bad idea. Ayeka's at AnimePort#9. Ryoko: Oh. Like she doesn't owe him for the Ruby Red thing? Weber-san: Um, Peter, be wary of cyan-haired women baring laser swords.