The USS Brian Drummond glides effortlessly through the darkness of space, the eternal cold biting at the hull. Weber-san finishes reading yet another fan fic, and realizes that he must once more summon his MST crew, who are owned by ADV, Sunrise, and Funimation. Weber-san wasn't making any profit, and doing this out of love for the characters, so please don't sue. Roll Call: Prince Vegeta: The sensitive one. Zechs Merquise: The mysterious one. Ryga of the Wind: The hairy one. Sylphiel: The pretty one. Weber-san: Ok, troops, time to flambe something truely horrible. Vegeta: Well, here we go again, Sasami Lemons. Zechs: Forgive me, Noin! Ryga: My stomach is knotting already. Sylphiel: For the love of God, NO! Weber-san: No. Not a Sasami Lemon. A crossover darkfic. This is truely wrong. It's a mix of Neil Gaiman work and Tenchi Muyo. Vegeta: Wait, I saw the redub of Princess Mononoke. This Gaiman guy ain't bad! Weber-san: No. But he didn't write this. Someone else just used his characters. Zechs: What are we in for. Weber-san: Darkfic extreme. But I might do something about it besides MST it. Let's get started... Fallen From Grace As dawn arose on the Masaki shrine, the normal sounds of the day starting could be heard. Birds singing, insects buzzing, Ryoko and Ayeka fighting, you know a normal day. Zechs: Nobody in that house knows a normal day. Tenchi was hiding in his closet from the war that was going on outside his room. “Lord Tenchi is trying to sleep,” Ayeka screamed and then threw a lightning bolt. Vegeta: Ayeka's powers involve forcefields, not lightning. Ryga: Yeah. That's my specialty. “I don’t give a damn!!!” screamed Ryoko in response and threw her own lightning bolt. Sylphiel (clutching ears): Is it always so loud here? Vegeta: WHAT? Sylphiel: I said, 'Is it always so loud here?' Vegeta: WHAT? Zechs: Forget it, Sylphiel. The bolts absorbed each other and then changed direction going through the wall and into Tenchi. He (of course) was just a tad bit fried. Zechs(as Julia Childe): Because it's terrible when he's overcooked. Just as he was getting up to kick a little bit of ass he stopped. Ryga(as Tenchi): Wait, I can't do that. It would mean I had a backbone! There was a knock at the door. Ryoko and Ayeka both yelled “I’ll get it,” and ran down the stairs. But as usual Sasami beat them to it. There was two men standing there. One of them looked about 6’5 and the other looked to be about 5 feet even. The taller of the two was a big muscular ogre of a man. The other man looked roughly like a pig. Vegeta: If anyone says they bear any resemblance to myself and Nappa, there will be bloodshed. They both looked(and smelled) like they had lived in the sewers for a while. “Greetings all!” said the small one. “My name is Mr. Croup and my associate’s name is Mr. Vandemar and we are looking for a fellow named Tenchi Masaki. Does he live here?” Sylphiel: Him and everyone else in this universe. “What do you want,” growled Ryoko instantly distrusting the pair. Vegeta(as Ryoko): NO! You can't do a yaoi fic with Tenchi! “Nothing devious I assure you we just need to speak to him,” said Croup. Vegeta: When a short guy tells you he has no devious plans, it's a sure bet he's being devious. But just as he was saying this Tenchi came down the stairs saying, “Who was at the door?” Mr. Vandemar rushed into the house past a startled Ayeka and Ryoko and went for Tenchi. Zechs: Ryoko has enough strength to shatter concrete. I doubt seriously that anyone can just brush past her. Sasami tried to get in his way but in one fluid motion he grabbed her by the head and threw her through a wall. All: >_< HE DID WHAT?!! Vegeta: Oh, so you like to pick on little girls, do you Vandemar? Zechs: Uh-oh. He grabbed Tenchi by the throat and jumped down the stairs and headed for the door. Zechs: Wow. I never saw him go up the stairs in the first place. By this time Ryoko had came to her senses and had her light sword ready. She leaped at him ready to strike. He stopped short, grabbed her sword arm and pulled. It came free with a sickening tearing sound and he stuck it in his mouth. Vegeta: Now, I have no problems with dismembering an opponent, but I draw the line at eating them. Zechs: Since when? Ryga: I eat my opponents. Sylphiel: I'm gonna be sick. Talk about something else, huh? Ryoko screamed and fell to the ground. Ayeka called for Azaka and Kamadake and they appeared. “Destroy him and save Tenchi,” Sylphiel: Shouldn't she have called someone useful instead? she yelled. They both moved in to kill Mr. Vandemar. He threw Tenchi down and swung at Azaka. He connected with such a force he broke through the front of Azaka’s outer casing and through to the other side. Vegeta: Kagato couldn't even do that when he had all the gems from Ryoko. Zechs: Weren't those a creation of Washuu? Sylphiel: These men are evil and dangerous. But I read Neverwhere. They were tough, but they were hardly invinceable. Before Kamadake could react Vandemar had done the same thing to him. Vegeta: Apparently, they've been training by watching Fist of the North Star. Azaka and Kamadake exploded throwing blood and bile everywhere. Zechs: That's impressive, considering they were machinery. Ryga: Yet another person who's confusing all machinery for Evangelions again. Ayeka fainted Vegeta: A princess? Of Jurai? Who's stood up to Ryoko? Who's fought Kagato? Who wields the power of the House of Jurai? Fainted? Damn the unseasonable heat! and Mr. Vandemar kicked her in the chest throwing her against the stairs as he picked up Tenchi and walked out. Sylphiel: Now that's no way to treat a lady! Vegeta: Yeah. Besides, Ayeka usually likes to be the one to inflict pain. He said,”Is this him,” showing him Tenchi. Sylphiel: Also, Croup and Vandemar were wicked, and evil men, but they knew how to fake civility. Are you telling me they trashed an entire household BEFORE they knew if the person they were manhandling was actually the target? Zechs: Obviously, the author never really read the book. Vegeta: Or say Tenchi Muyo, for that matter. Ryga: Question. What sort of "fan" writes a fanfic where they kill off all the people they're supposedly "fans" of? Vegeta: Twisted ones, man. Like Mark Chapman? Sylphiel: Who? Vegeta: The man who shot John Lennon. Bastard. Zechs: Yeah. Chapman was vile. Vegeta: I meant Lennon! "All you need is love!" Idealistic twit! Croup said, “Yep its him.” Ryoko had gotten up and the last thing she saw was them walking into the mist. She then passed out. Vegeta: She didn't pass out when Tenchi cut off her hand, but she's passing out because she lost an arm? So, when she regrows it, she's gonna kick some major ass, right? When Ryoko woke up she noticed she was Washu’s lab. She was lying on a table with something covering her arm. But then she rembered what happened. She sat up and looked around wincing at the pain in her nub that used to be her right arm. Zechs: REGENERATE IT! Sasami was lying on a table across from her and Ryoko walked over. Sasami looked terrible, Vegeta: NO SHIT! She's not a Saiya-jin! She can't just go through walls like that! her nose was broken, her hair was red with her own blood. You could barely tell it was Sasami. “Those sons of bitches that did that to you are going to pay,” Vegeta: (Goes SuperSaiya-jin): And while we're at it, let's take this author with them! Sylphiel: It's almost as bad as a Sasami Lemon! (weeps) she said, tears going down her face. She looked over and saw Sasami’s life readings on Washu’s master computer which dominated a large wall of the lab. It didn’t look good for her. “Ah it seems that you have woken up.” Ryoko turned around and saw that it was Washu. Ryoko rushed over and grabbed Washu by her shirt and said,”Where the Hell were you when this happened?” Zechs(As Washu): Well, see there was this sale at MadScientist.com... Washu replied, “Well I was conducting an experiment in one of my subspace labs. I was trying to create another Ryo-Oki but it didn’t work. When I came back I saw you with your arm ripped off, Ayeka passed out on the ground, a hole in the wall, and no Tenchi or Sasami. I took care of you and Ayeka then I went to look for Tenchi and Sasami.” Ryoko by then had let go of Washu and was sitting next to Sasami who was having trouble breathing. Vegeta: I know the feeling. She SHOULD be on a respirator, idiots! “When I found Sasami she was laying in a pile of rubble in the kitchen. She had lost a lot of blood and she was barely breathing. She was saying something. I couldn’t catch any of it except ‘You can’t take him’. I’m guessing that she was talking about Tenchi. I didnt find him but from the looks of things I can guess why.” Sylphiel: If she was talking at all, it was a miracle. I wish I was there. My magic could make a difference. “Where is Ayeka,” Ryoko asked. “Well she still hasn’t woken up. But for now I put her on a table in the other room, because if she woke up and saw Sasami before anyone had a chance to talk to her it would probably kill her,” Zechs: If anyone did that to MY little sister, they'd answer to me in a major way. Vegeta: Wasn't that Heero guy always trying to kill her? Zechs: It was a hormone imbalance. It's been corrected. said Washu. Just then a shrill alarm went off and startled them. Sasami’s life force was leaving(in other words she was dying). Vegeta: Just love the explanations for the overly obvious, don't you? Ryga: No. Washu’s transparent computer appeared before her and she immediately started to crunch numbers. Several Medic Robots appeared and started to try and revive her. Ryga: Where the hell were they earlier. That girl should have been under constant supervision! Sylphiel: It's not fair. She's the cute one! Ryoko just stood there not knowing what to do. One of the robots ushered her into the other room with Ayeka. She waited for what seemed an eternity when Washu came in. She was looking at the floor and Ryoko knew what happened. “She didn’t make it did she?” she asked. Vegeta (reaches SuperSaiya-jin Level 2): THAT'S IT!!!! Zechs (gets in Epyon) : The writer is history. Sylphiel: Who could be so cruel!? Ryga: No one takes out the kawaii kids while I'M around! Washu looked up a tear going down her face, ”No,” she said. Ryoko cried out and punched the wall. It caved in. She had loved the kid like a sister and they killed her. She looked at Washu who was crying now. She now really looked like a 12 year old kid. She then asked her, ”Who did this?” Vegeta: A really nasty fanfic writer. “The bastards said their names were Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar.” When Washu heard their names she was filled with a sense of dread. “ Shit,” she said, “ Not them.” Zechs(as Washu): They work for the repo service on all my equipment! “They are the greatest assassins in the known universe. Someone must of really wanted Tenchi.” Ryga: Shouldn't that be "must have"? Zechs: We'll send the writer the same grammatical rules we send Suzuki. Vegeta: And then we'll jump up and down on their spine with Zech's toy there!(points at Epyon). “Fuck,” replied Ryoko. Sylphiel: Here here! Ayeka woke up a few hours later. She had sustained 4 broken ribs and a crushed vertebrate confining her to a wheelchair. Fortunately since Washu was a genius she had a fully automated chair. Vegeta: Considering that she made Ryoko capable of regenerating limbs, and she can summon things from nowhere, and she made an immortal spaceship-cabbit, one would THINK she could do better than stealing a prop from the X-Men. When Ryoko told her about Sasami she didn’t believe her. Even when Washu told her she called her a liar. Finally they had to the thing they wanted to avoid, show her Sasami’s body. Zechs: A moment of silence for the dearly departed Sasami, who served as an MSTer with us. (see MST of A Really Bad Crossover). Others: (fall silent and bow heads) Zechs: Now, lets go crush this author. When she saw it she broke down. Ryoko had to calm her down Sylphiel: Calm her down? At this point, I think she'd need to sedate her into a coma! I know what it's like to lose family! My father was taken from me by a cruel force like those men. Zechs and Vegeta nod their understanding. and Washu found that she a a lot more respect for her than she used to. Ayeka was suprised on who was comforting her but she guessed her competion with her over Tenchi made them closer than they realized. Ryoko was suprised she had a human side to her rough exterior. Zechs: She must've forgotten all those times she sat in the cave watching Tenchi, then. Vegeta: Or the time she told Kagato that she was a human being. Ryga: Hell, if you saw Sasami die, would you feel like yourself? Sylphiel: This is so sad. I think it was wrong. Vegeta: Well, I'm going to see how the author likes being shoved through a wall. But that was 6 hrs ago. Now they were using Washu’s computer to track Tenchi’s energy signature to see if they could locate him. So far they were having no luck. Washu was pissed. “Damn it! This piece of shit says that he’s no where on or off the earth.” Zechs: Well, that really cuts our options, doesn't it? Ayeka thought for a minute. “ Who say’s he has to be on the earth? Why can’t he be in it?” Washu then set her sensors to aim into the earth and was pleasantly suprised. There it was, Tenchi’s Energy Signature. It said that he was under the streets of London. Ryga: Wait a minute. Croup and Vandemar are English. Tenchi lives in Japan. So...were they speaking Japanese when they were at the door, or was Sasami understanding English? Washu was pleased with herself now all they had to do was get to London to fight Croup and Vandemar. Zechs: Oh, is that ALL? I was worried for a minute, seeing as how they got their asses kicked earlier, and Sasami is dead now, meaning they've lost their link to Tsunami. And to do that they were going to need all the help they could get. Vegeta: D'oh! Washu used her subspace communicator and called Kyone and Mihoshi who were on patrol near Saturn. She told them what happened and that they needed their help. They said that they would be on their way. She called Yosho who was in Tokyo when this all happened and told him what happened and he said he would meet them there. Now all they had to do was wait for Kyone and Mihoshi and find Ryo-Oki. They found her laying down on Sasami’s chest crying. Vegeta: Anyone who can make the cabbit cry is a heartless bastard! Sylphiel: We established that when they killed Sasami. When they tried to move her she started hissing and clawing at them so they left her alone. Ayeka was looking out a window into the spinning abyss of subspace. She was thinking about what she could of done differently to have saved Sasami. Vegeta: Well, for starters, you COULD have put up a forcefield when you saw two devious men at the door looking for Tenchi! But she knew is was pointless but that was all she could think about. She felt something jump into her lap. It was Ryo-Oki. “You have to help us get those bastards who killed Sasami. Please I know you loved her too.” Sylphiel: Anyone who watched the show knew that. Ryo-Oki layed down and let loose with a soft meow. Somehow Ayeka took that as a yes. Ryoko was getting ready to do battle with the two assassins by training in the war room Washu had made for her. She had a cybernetic arm where she had lost the other one. Zechs: Wouldn't that impede the regeneration of the new one. Ryga: I think Vegeta was right. The author's never seen the show! The room was flooded with robots and she destroyed all of them with efficiency. She could tell that she was weaker because when her arm was ripped off so was one of her power gems. But that one little detail wasn’t going to stop her from ripping off Vandemar’s arm and making him tear out his own heart. Vegeta: No! How could the fact that she's LESS powerful than when she got her ass kicked POSSIBLY affect her ability to do that? She was going to make them pay for taking her arm and Tenchi. But she was going to make them pay in spades for Sasami. Vegeta: Ryoko would do it, too! I know her! When Tenchi awoke he was strapped to an overhead beam in what looked like a large basement. He started to struggle when he heard voices in the far corner of the basement. He stopped and listened. It was Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar. They were both sitting at a card table playing rummy and smoking cigars. “I wonder why Islington wanted this little man so badly for,” said Vandemar while he was chewing on something. Tenchi noticed that it was Ryoko’s arm. He could tell because he saw the jem on the wrist. “I don’t know,” said Croup, “but whatever it is it doesn’t matter. We did what we got paid to do and that is the only thing that matters.” They heard a ring and Croup got up and went to the phone. He spoke for a few minutes and came back to the table. “He’s on his way,” he said. Vandemar nodded and got up and went over to where Tenchi was tied up and got him down. Tenchi had seen he was coming and acted like he was still unconscious. Vandemar took him to a room that looked like a shrine. In the middle of the far wall a great statue of a golden angel was coming out of the wall. A door opened in the middle of the statue and Islington came out. Sylphiel: No way. Islington was SEALED in there. Only Lady Door could open that path, and only with the key of the Black Friars! Zechs: We already know that the fanfic author obviously never read the book. Details like that are probably meaningless to them. He was magnificent. A light seemed to radiate from him. His wings were spread out behind him in a wondrous display. Vegeta(holding a copy of Neverwhere as he reads it at SuperSaiya-jin speeds): Islington didn't have wings, either! He was an angel! He floated down and took Tenchi’s face in his hands and said,” Come now you can’t pull that unconscious trick with me. Open your eyes.” Tenchi knowing it was useless to pretend anymore opened his eyes and looked at him. “Well now it seems that my underlings didn’t damage you too much. Vegeta(as Islington): And as an Angel you see that I have no need for commas or various other punctuation. Yes you will provide everything I need.” “What do you want with me,” Tenchi asked. Zechs(as Islington): Well I heard that you were one of only three children that could pilot a living weapon that could kill me and...wait you're not Shinji Ikari! “ It is quite simple really I want your life. Your life energy is what I mean. You see I am what most people call a fallen angel, one who has fallen out of grace with God. Why, you ask? I tried to take the kingdom of heaven over that’s why. I fought the most powerful being in creation for control of heaven and I lost. Vegeta(pouring through a stack of books): In Gaiman's worlds, Lucifer Morningstar challenged God, and fell from Grace. Islington destroyed Atlantis in a fit of rage, and was locked up by God under London until he learned to behave himself. Now what I need from you is the power you summon when you get the “Wings of Jirai”. Because with that I will get the power to get back to heaven and defeat God and rule supreme!” Vegeta: Oh, I've heard this before. Others nod. “Your mad,” said Tenchi. And with that he spat in the angel’s face. Islington reached up and dabbed at the spit. Then laughing he placed his hand out in front of Tenchi’s face. A force flew from the hand and threw Tenchi across the shrine into the stone wall. Zechs: What is it with this author and putting people through walls? Vegeta: I don't know, but we'll find out if HE likes it when we visit! Normally Tenchi would of been knocked out but the angel was keeping him awake so he could feel the pain. He tried not to cry out just to spite the angel. Then the angel added more force and Tenchi did scream. He screamed and screamed and screamed. Finally and thankfully Tenchi passed out taking more pain than any human had ever dreamed of withstanding. Islington said, “ Insolent little worm. Vandemar take him into my lair please.” “Uh, sure boss,” said Vandemar. He had never seen the angel use his power before and it scared him, “ Whatever you say.” Ryoko, Washu, and Ayeka were aboard Ryo-Oki and on their way to London when Ryoko asked Washu about the pair of assassins. “They are the people you pass everyday on the street without knowing,” she said, “ Your eyes pass over them and you ignore what you see. They were homeless so long that all the people that ignored them began not to see them at all. They became invisible to normal everyday people. They found that there was a whole other civilization where people like them who had fallen through the cracks of society lived. They then became assassins for hire and they built up quite a reputation as they killed hundreds of people just for fun. They are now the most feared people in the underground.” Vegeta: Professionals never kill anyone they don't have to kill. Zechs: So what was that deal with you and all of Frieza's men? Vegeta: That wasn't business. It was personal. Just as she was finishing her story they came to London. They found a place to land in the outskirts of the city. And they waited for Kyone and Mihoshi to get there. It was about 1 am when they arrived and then they headed for the city. Washu had taken out her portable tracker and was scanning the area. She got a lock on his energy and followed it. They came to a sewer and the signal got stronger so they went in. Ryga: Wait, did the signal get stronger, or the stench. Sylphiel: A sewer smells better than this crap! Vegeta: 0_0! Did you just say "crap"? Immediately they were surrounded by a dark mist. It started to form into creatures that looked liked giant roaches. Washu and Kyone had pulled out a blaster, Zechs: Who's Kyone? Vegeta: Are you kidding? After the last fight, I'd be pulling in nameless characters too! Ryoko had her light sword, Ayeka had her energy field, Mihoshi on the other hand was backing up away from the battle. Washu and Kyone were spraying the area with energy beams destroying a lot of roaches. Ryoko was killing two of them at a time with each swing of her sword. Ayeka was frying five of them with her energy field. One of the roaches came at Mihoshi causing her to turn and flee. She didn’t watch where she was going and she ran into the clutches of one of the roaches. It slit her throat easily enough and threw her into the middle of the fight. Vegeta: Ok, so I'm not a Mihoshi fan, but still... Zechs: She managed to survive on Kagato's ship... Sylphiel: Even displayed some amazing acrobatics... Ryga: Still, are we surprised at this point? Others: No. When Kyone saw this she got very pissed. She took out a little remote device and pressed a few buttons. She told everyone to run and a large metal box appeared in front of her. Washu saw what Kyone was planning on doing and got everyone out of the room. Five hundred roaches closed in on Kyone. She flipped open a panel on the box hit three switches and put her finger on the last one. “Fuck you,” she said and pressed the switch. Washu, Ryoko and Ayeka were all thrown by the blast. Kyone had triggered a sub-particle bomb killing herself and every roach within a two hundred foot radius. Vegeta: Wouldn't a can of RAID have done the job without the pointless suicide? She had sacfriced her self so that they could go on. They ran down the pathway toward Tenchi’s energy signature. They were getting closer and closer until they got to an opening. It was Vandemar and Croup’s living quarters. They went in and as soon as they were all in there a steel wall fell behind them and in front of them. They were trapped. “Greetings again,” said Croup, “I see that you have a new friend with you that I haven’t met.” He jumped down from his hiding place. “But we’ll get to know each other very soon.” “We’re Fucked,” said Washu. All: sweatdrops. When Croup hit the floor Ryoko was ready. She threw a bolt of energy that just grazed his head. He now had a gash on his right temple. “Ok ladies you want it rough huh? Well you have it.” With a flick of his wrist he had a thin rectangular object in his hand. He pressed a button and three thin wires flew out. Each one wrapped around Ayeka, Ryoko, and Washu’s neck. Sylphiel: Wasn't Ayeka's shield up? Zechs: Your asking for continuity from a writer who killed Sasami? He then pressed another button and about 1,000 volts of electricity went through the wire and into them. Croup laughed and turned up the voltage. He was about to kill them when he felt something enter his back and come out his chest. He coughed up blood and looked down. It was a wooden sword. Yosho had broken through the ceiling and stabbed Croup. Zechs: Yosho! Yosho! Vegeta: He's our man! Sylphiel: If he can't do it! Ryga: Then we're screwed! He pulled the sword out of Croup and then cut off his head. Washu said, “Man it took you long enough.” Yosho replied,” A wise man once said: Life’s a Bitch. Now lets go.” Vegeta: Oh, they are so in for it. They murdered his sister, kidnapped his grandson, killed the comic relief... They pushed the steel door out of the way and went into the shrine. On the left wall of the shrine they saw the body of Vandemar minus a head. “Who the hell did that,” Inquired Washu. Then she got her answer. Islington came out of the statue and floated down to stand before everyone. “I’m guessing you are looking for a friend of yours. Am I correct?” he said. “What have you done with Lord Tenchi,’ screamed Ayeka. “Well he’s right here,” Islington said gesturing towards the wall. It swung around and revealed Tenchi. He was crucified on a cross of marble. All his life energy was leaving his body and going into a sphere in Islington’s hand. Ryoko rushed him sword a blazing. But he just put his hand out and erased her entire existence. Vegeta: I hate it when my enemies can do that. Zechs: One would think that a "fallen angel" would be limited to the same parameters as normal demons, y'know, taunt, tempt, torment. Erasing someone's existence...that's not on the list. Ayeka pressed a flipped a few switches on her chair and about 200 missiles flew out and at Islington. He just deflected all the missiles back at her liquidating her. Zechs: I don't know which hurts worse, the loss of yet another character, or the lack of grammar and punctuation! Yosho brought out Tenchi(the sword not the human) and leaped at the angel. Islington caught the blade in the air and shattered it. He then reached over and ripped Yosho’s heart and threw him across the room. Vegeta: I'm sorry. I have trouble believing that one. Zechs: Join the club, man. Join the club. Washu started toward him but she found that she was stuck to the floor. Meanwhile the sphere had sucked all of Tenchi’s energy out of him, leaving him a dry mummified corpse. Islington then absorbed the life force into him. He began to laugh. He said to Washu,” I have kept you alive to tell everyone on earth the Armageddon is coming sooner than expected.” He then spread his wings Vegeta:(on phone): Yes. Ayanami. Yeah. Someone's stealing your "spread the wings and destroy the world" schtick. Yeah, they're killing of fan favorite characters. Which ones? All of them, it looks like. Uh-huh. Ok, bye. (hangs up phone). Sylphiel: What did she say? Vegeta: She'd love to help, but she's stuck doing numerous other fanfics at the moment. and shot through the roof. Washu found that she was able to move again and left. She muttered,” I hope God is what He’s cracked up to be or we’re screwed.” She then went back to her lab and waited. The End Weber-san: Oh no you don't! Tenchi and others copyrighted by Pioneer. Croup ,Vandemar, and Islington copyrighted by Neil Gaiman This is a work of fiction any likeness to actual events is purely accidental and weird. It is a fan fiction and no profit is expected or intended so please don’t sue. Tell Me what you think at Goku89@juno.com Vegeta: I'm going to use my wish(unveils dragonballs) Weber-san: Save them, Vegeta! This isn't over yet. I'm going to fix this one, using poetic liscence, justice, and a bit of pent up rage! Weber-san proudly presents: WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ISLINGTON GOT BACK TO HEAVEN! Islington looked around. Nothing had changed. Nothing ever did. How dull. He summoned the Light Hawk Sword, and was about to alter the scenery, when the person he'd been waiting for showed up. "Ah, Kami-sama, how nice to see you. And now it's time for you to die!" One of Kami-sama's antennea twitched, "You haven't changed a bit, Islington. Well, before you take me on, there's some people I want you to meet. But then, you know them already, don't you?" Standing behind Islington are Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Sasami, grown fully into her Tsunami state. All have halos and wings. "Where do you think good people go when they die, nitwit?" Ryoko grinned evilly, producing a new sword, one that gleamed whiter than any light. "Wait, how do you qualify?" Islington demanded. "Well, Piccolo got in because he died saving Gohan. I died trying to save Tenchi, so, here I am." Tenchi smiled, "That's right. We're all angels now, which means that you can't do bo-diddly to any of us." Tsunami looks stern,"What your men did to Sasami was wrong. You'll have to be punished for that." Just then, Washu showed up, having reinstated her Goddess status when she returned to her lab,"Well now, it's not a party without Washu-chan, now is it?" Yosho appeared as well, wearing armor that gleamed like Ryoko's new sword, and carrying the Light Wakizashi, "Care to pit your skills against mine?" Kami-sama smiled, "I figured they'd want to reaquaint themselves with you, so here they are. Oh, and just in case you somehow managed to get past them, I invited some other friends to meet you. Piccolo, Vegeta, come on out!" Vegeta grins his standard, "I'm gonna rip someone a new one " grin, and Piccolo looks like he hasn't had any fiber in months. Islington was surrounded, and he sensed that the heavenly powers that surrounded him were far greater than his own. Then Vegeta became a SuperSaiya-jin, and Islington KNEW he was screwed as he felt cosmic power great enough to shatter galaxies. "Any chance we can talk this over?" The others looked thoughtful, and then said, "NO!" Islington watched as they closed in on him... "So you see, Yama-sama," Kami-sama was explaining, "Since Tenchi and his friends were killed by an act of Divince interferance into the mortal world, their lives should be returned to them." Yama looked thoughtful, "Hmmmm. Well, it's highly irregular, but they all have decent records, and Islington is now safely contained in Hell, so...why the heck not. Only, I'll have to erase their memory that this even took place. Can't have them telling people that they can come back anytime they want, now can I." Tenchi was awoken by Sasami, "Tenchi, breakfast is ready!" "I'll be right down, Sasami!" Tenchi called. Ryoko's voice could suddenly be heard, "Give me that!" "No! It's my favorite towel! Go away, you lousy demon!" Ayeka retorted. Tenchi sighed. Just another day on Planet Earth. THE END. Weber-san: Well, what do you think? Vegeta: Hmmm, I like the new ending. Sylphiel: Divine justice. The original author needs to be punished for this. Ryga: No more dark fics, please! Zechs: I'm all for that! Weber-san: Well, I think I can swing that. Until we MST again....