The Turtle of Love is a spaceship shaped like a turtle and is owned by Nic42p and his cat Mr. Friskie. Their job is to look at bad Tenchi fics after they takeoff and land safely after the fic. The day started out as always Nic eating and Friskie as Nic called him was sleeping on the couch. Todays the big day Friskie. Our first fic to mst. "Whats it called" Friskie asked just waking up. It's called Tenchi and Co. vs. USA Today. "Oh so now Tenchi is after our favorite newspaper" said Friskie. Yup and that is why we are doing it. And so friskie and Nic went to the ship and took off for the day. And now Nic and Friskie present. Tenchi and Co. vs. USA Today The seating order in the theater is from left to right Nic and Friskie sitting on top of his chair. Nic: oh boy here we go Friskie: (sarcasticly) yay Well, checking back here and noticed the fics, but no-one did Tenchi ... All: (old geezer) EVIL Let's write, shall we? All: Lets not and say we did Here's my pitiful addition to the fray ^_- Nic: Don't wink at me please ----------------------------------------------------- Friskie: Rip here and burn Somewhere in the countryside of Japan, in a nice-sized house ... It's a peaceful day. Birds singing, wind blowing through the trees, Nic: People mooning eachother you know, things like that. Until: Ryoko : "Kyaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!" Friskie: (Ryoko) My hair is Blue!!! It's unfortunate that Tenchi was sitting almost right next to everyone's favorite space pirate. All: She isn't our favorite Tenchi : "Ahh! Ryoko! What is it?" Friskie: (Ryoko)Tenchi my hair is blue Ryoko : "Look at this ... this ..." Nic: Nice table Ayeka : "I believe the term you're looking for is, er, BS?" Nic: Well she just went out of character. Kiyone : "This ... this is horrible!" "I can't believe this! We can't condone it!" Nic: What does condone mean? Mihoshi: "Actually, Kiyone was just telling me- " " ... that she was watching something the other day, I can't remember what, Friskie: Well she's still in Character and she said, 'Mihoshi, don't you think that this anime is just a piece of - " Friskie: Insert bad word here Kiyone : "SHUT UP, YOU!!!!!" "Uh, he he, you know Mihoshi, doesn't know what she's saying ... " All : "Uh, yes ... " All: We do Ryoko : "Well, we can't just sit here and do nothing, right?" Friskie: I can't flap my tail Nic: (Ryoko) Knew I shouldn't have gotton that radiation in my eye Ayeka : "Er, yes. Well, maybe Washu can help us with this?" Nic: Washu knows all Friskie: someone really spelled Washu with one U All: Oh thats Minna <"Jukem jukem goko no serikere!!!" scene switch> Nic: Friskie do you have any idea what that was about Friskie: Nope Washu : " ... and program in the Fibonacci sequence ... add for a subspace phase variation ... " Friskie: Don't know what that meant too Ryoko : "Washu-san!!!" Nic: (Ryoko) Oops I meant chan Washu : "Wha- oh, it's you, Ryoko. You look happy. What is it?" Nic: Why would she look happy if she is mad about it? Friskie: I dunno Ryoko : "Read this!" Washu : "Hmm ... Friskie: (Washu) I am not a genius really? What's the VP of programming for the Cow and Chicken Network saying that our anime is drivel?" All: Wow they are smarter than I thought Ayeka : "We were wondering if there was anything we could do about it, Miss Washu?" Nic: She doesn't like being called miss Washu : "I've got it!" Friskie: (Washu) I'm out of character All : "What! What is it?" Washu : "We bomb 'em all!!" Nic: Oh so they want to go Pearl Harber on us eh All : "Um ... " Washu : "Ha ha! No, seriously, I've got just the thing!" Friskie: Let me guess a BOMB!!! Tenchi : "What's that?" Friskie: Like I said a bomb Washu : "Remember my Dimensional Cause & Effect Controller?" All; We hate to say it but yes Ayeka : "How could we forget?" Washu : "Well, I've done a little modifying ... instead of creating new realities based on certain criteria, it can now open matter conduits between realities and create nexuses between them as well!! See?" Nic & Friskie: Say what All : "No, not at all." Nic & Friskie: (facefault) Washu : "It can transmit matter between universes and make ... stopping points between them. NOW do you see?" Nic: No you broke off in the middle Ayeka : "So what you're saying is that it can move things between universes?" Washu : "Yes! Exactly! At least they caught on this time ..." Kiyone : "What about living material?" Nic: (Kiyone) Like us Washu : "Well, ... yes, that should work too." Nic: (Kiyone) cool Ryoko : "So what you're saying is that you could transport us to another dimension- " Friskie: SHE HAS BEFORE Washu : "Reality." Ryoko : " ... whatever, and let us do ... whatever?" Friskie: Why are they breaking off like that? Nic: I dunno Washu : "Theoretically, yes .. " Nic: Well she understands Ryoko : "All right! There's a first time for everything ... " Nic: I don't like where this is going "So, whaddya say we go show those USA Today freaks who's boss?" All: That was uncalled for Ayeka : "Oh, no you don't! Tenchi is going with me." Nic: Who didn't see this happening Tenchi : "Oh, no ... " All: We know Ryoko : "Whaddya mean, he's going with *you*?" "I asked first!" Ayeka : "The thought of him even considering going with you is unthinkable, you, you- " Nic: (Ayeka) Monster Kiyone : "Look. Why don't we all go?" Nic: Good Idea Friskie: Yup Ayeka & Ryoko: "That'd be a great idea!" Friskie: This isn't good Nic: Yup Washu : "Great! Let's get this figured out, then! Everyone into a seat!" All: Well thats a new one Washu : "Okay! Hands OFF the controls this time, kiddies! Heinlein vector, fourteen Fibonacci, and awahahay, we go!" Nic: She snaps cackles and pops Washu : "That was fun!" "Hey, wait for me!" Friskie: What is a pikus <"Doesn't Ryo-oh-ki have the cutest lisp in the Pioneer dub?" scene switch> All: Oooooooooookay There is a flash of light, and Tenchi & Co. are standing inside the lobby of what appears to be the USA Today main office (surmised from the large plaque reading "USA Today" on one wall). The time/space travelers look around them as the author switches to normal writing for the "real" world. Nic: I think this is a semi self-insertion fic "So I guess it worked," said Tenchi after a few moments. Washu comes into substance behind him. "Well, of course it worked! What did you expect?" "I think he thought that the machine would blow up, or have a misset- " offered Mihoshi before Kiyone claps her hand over her mouth. All: Again "What? No way! That's always user error," explained Washu, glancing meaningfully at Ryoko. Ryoko didn't notice Washu's gaze, and did her wonderful little disappearing-jump teleport over to the elevator. "Come on, we don't have all day!" "Actually, Ryoko, we have- " began Tenchi. Nic: well Tenchi broke off "Let's just get this over with," muttered Ayeka, grasping Tenchi's... elbow and firmly propelling him toward the elevator. "And so, in conclusion- " "We demand an apology!!!" The door to the editors' office burst open, and in came ... well,guess who. All: Who "Who are these people?" demanded NE #1[1]. Friskie: Thats 1 not 2 "Hi, I'm Ryoko!" With that, Ryoko leaped onto the large, circular table that seems so popular in today's business setting. "And I demand retribution!" "Erm?" asked NE #2. Nic: (NE2) Baked erma anyone "What in blazes are you talking about?" queried NE #3. Washu shoved the newspaper, still in mint condition after the turbulent vortices it had passed through in its journeys, into the face of NE #4. Gasping,he saw the now-infamous headline, "US children safe ... " "Wh- what is the meaning of this?" All: That is what we ask "Oh, come on. Haven't you caught on yet? I mean, come on, here's Washu, Tenchi, Ayeka, Kiyone, Sasami, Mihoshi, and Ryoko," said Ryo-oh-ki in that kawaii lisp. Friskie: Ryo-ohki can't talk "I .. I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about," said NE #2 faintly. Tenchi shrugged. "It figures." Nic: Does not "These guys are worthless!" Friskie: Are not exclaimed Ryoko. "I say we just torch 'em!" All: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo She brought her hands together, preparing to do just that. NE #1 paled. "Y- you can't do that!" "Actually, we can," said Ayeka, showing him a cleverly concealed document. Nic: Friskie where was that concealed ^_* Friskie: Shut up Nic Nic: ok He read: "Otaku Regulations. 1. You shall not kill Named Otaku. 2. Any Nameless characters you come across are basically yours to do whatever you want with." All: Nice knowing you NE's "Hey, Ayeka, isn't that the Otaku Wars!- " started Mihoshi. "Quiet!" hissed Kiyone. "Does it matter?" All: Yes Mihoshi shook her head slowly. "This is a waste of time," complained Washu. "Besides, I brought the perfect thing to do the job." She showed everyone a silver sphere. "What's that?" Nic: (Washu) It is a ball made out of silver "It's a Contained Spatial Causality Device! A minor invention. Guess what it does. C'mon, just guess!" Friskie: Explode "I ... have ... no ... clue," said everyone in the room. "Oh, come on! It's a Contained Spatial Causality Device!" Nic: You told us that Total, complete silence. Washu sighed. "Alright! It completely annihilates everything within a certain amount of space!! Get it?!?" Nic: Yup "Ooooh," said the Tenchi cast. The Nameless Editors blanched visibly. "Gimme that thing!" cried Ryoko, grabbing it from Washu's hands. Unfortunately, in doing so she pressed a small button on the side marked "Activate". Nic: Well this should be good Washu's voice emanated from the sphere. "Hi! Is this thing on? ... Okay. This bomb has been ... turned on ... and in about five minutes everything in the room will be a couple wisps of vapor! Ha ha! Neat, huh?" All: (Facefault) The NE's screamed. "Well, look what you did, Ryoko," scolded Washu. "That's alright. Just turn it off!" "There isn't an off switch, baka!" Nic: Washu called her daughter a pervert I think just now Ryoko made an extremely embarrased face, not unlike A-ko (but that's another spamfic which someone else can do better than I). All: You got that right "Um, I guess we ... get out of here, ne?" Nic: It is the knight who says Ne "Device detonation in ... oops, sorry, about one minute now!" The Nameless Editors sank in their chairs; Tenchi & Crew were blocking the door. "Back ... to our reality!" cried Washu. "Everyone around me. Now, I just press this button here ... " She did so. "Now what happens?!" demanded Kiyone. "Well, it takes some time for the signal to travel across the realities and back ... but when it does, we're out of here!" "And how long is that going to take, Washu?" asked Ayeka calmly. "Oh, about half a minute to get there." Nic: Ha they will die to and thats what you get when you mess with USA Today "HALF A MINUTE?!!?!?!?!?!" exploded Ayeka. All: HAHA "Well, whaddya expect? We're traversing time and space as we know it. Of course there's gonna be a little lag ... " "BUT THAT THING'S GONNA BLOW UP!!!" shouted Ryoko, summing up the fears of most of the people in the room. "Well, if you hadn't grabbed it from my hands ... " "This is all your fault, Ryoko!" accused Ayeka. Friskie: We know "Hey, I didn't see you doing anything brilliant!" "Were you trying to get us all killed!!??!" Nic: Um whose talking "Ten ... nine ... eight ... " "Just shut UP!" yelled Ryoko, throwing one of her fireballs. Just as it would have hit Ayeka, the Tenchi crew disappeared. Two seconds later, the Nameless Editors jumped from their chairs. In another two seconds the bomb went off. All: Da Bomb BOOOOOOOOOOOMMM Huddled around a monitor in Washu's laboratory, Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, et al. listened. Nic: That sentence made no sense "And finally, experts are baffled by the sudden collapse of the USA Today building in New York. All: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Structural engineers at the site say that the building collapsed due to a lack of support on the east side, where the editorial offices were. Strangely, no wreckage from the offices were found; it is as if they simply blinked out of existance." "And now, let's go to the weather desk- " Friskie: (Newsmen) With Stormy Weathers "Well, it worked, didn't it?" asked Washu, barely heard over the argument between Ryoko and Ayeka. Tenchi sat to one side, resting his head on his hand and rolling his eyes. And so, here I leave you, glad that anime is here for good, no matter what some misguided souls will say. Because WE'RE the fans, and they're just ... people. Nic: I'm Nic Friskie: I'm Friskie All: We are not people Otaku forever!!! WE WILL PREVAIL!!! anyway ... -- [1] Nameless Editor #1 ... he he he ... All: Go NE#1 Go NE#1 It's your birthday I think I just might do this again sometime ... Nic: I got an idea. Lets not -|-E The Icefalcon I WILL get a webpage soon! All: Don't MSTERS Thoughts Friskie:Never evvvvvvvvver insult USA Today again. Nic: (Puts USA Today he is reading down)Don't make your characters break up their sentences. (rools up paper and hits writer over the head with it.
Well this is my first MST hope you liked it. STINGER Washu: