Disclaimer: I'm getting really annoyed at these things...anyway, I do not own these totally awesome characters. If I did, I wouldn't be slaving away at this computer for your enjoyment, now would I? Don't sue me if you don't like this, flame Pioneer and AIC. Author's Note: Don't worry, this is short. I dedicate this to ryu, who gave me this totally great idea, and I'm just carrying it out. Thanks a bunch! We're going to take a look into the OVA locker room, the Shin Tenchi locker room, and a tiny peek at the Pretty Sammy locker room. Whoop dee do! Let's just get on with it, shall we? Tiki: Hi, and welcome to Tenchi Muyo! Behind the Scenes! Since I'm the fanfic writer, Pioneer and AIC have granted me special acsess to the characters' locker room. First, let's take a look into the OVA locker room. *Camera focuses on room, which is a big shambles, with beer cans all over the place* Tiki: Whoa! What happened to this mammajamma? Ryoko: I've been trying to clean it up all afternoon, but Ayeka and Tenchi keep on coming in here with six packs and littering all over the place. Plus, it doesn't help with Sasami throwing her cigars around. The couch almost caught on fire last week. Tiki: Ryoko, so you're the clean machine around here, am I right? Ryoko: That's right. They say I don't do anything, but I do a lot for them. (starts to cry) I don't know why...*sniff* Ayeka: Yo, my homie! Tiki: Hello Ayeka! Who do you fancy off the TV? Ayeka: Man, I hang around with every man. On Monday I hang out with Yosho and drink tea, if you know what I mean. Tiki: *sweatdrop* Uh huh... Ayeka: On Tuesdays and Thursdays I hang out with Tenchi, on Wednsday and Friday I go to the club with Sasami--- Tiki: Wait! Isn't Sasami a minor? Ayeka: So? Ryoko: I told you so! You shouldn't treat Lord Tenchi and Sasami like that! Tiki: *sweatdrop* This is getting too much... Ayeka: Shut up! Tenchi is mine! Anyway, on the weekends I go with Kagato and--- Tiki: (raging mad) WHAT?? Ryoko: Uh oh...you know Tiki worships Kagato. Ayeka: Uh, I best be out of here... *Ayeka slams the door behind her, which falls off its hinges.* Ryoko: Are you hungry? Mihoshi can fix something up for you! Tiki: No, I rather have Sasami cook for me. Ryoko: No, you don't understand. Last person who ate Sasami's cooking went insane. Poor thing... *Mihoshi comes in, holding a laser cannon* Mihoshi: Oh, you don't know how hard it is to explain things to Washu! I keep on telling her that this is off limits, but she can't keep her hands off it! Ryoko: That's a 12 year old for you! Tiki: Wait, I thought she was 20,000 years old. Mihoshi: No, she's 12. Anyway, she can't even make a bowl of cereal without blowing up the kitchen. You know she's mentally challenged... Tiki: WHAT?? *In comes a really handsome young man, accompianed by a gibbering Washu* Washu: Hi Mihoshi! Can you help me with my science homework? Mihoshi: Sure! You know I'm the top scientist at Mensa! Tiki: I can't take much more of this... (looks at the man) Who are you? Man: Why, I'm Doctor Clay. Tiki: HA! You gotta be kidding...right? Clay: No, I am Clay. I'm Washu's school principal, and the president of Japan. Tiki: That's it! I'm out of here! Ryoko: You didn't see Kagato yet!! Tiki: I don't want to!! You people are so screwed up I don't want to picture Kagato like this!! *Suddenly, the camera focuses on Tenchi and Kagato walking together and drinking beer* Kagato: Hello Tiki. I've heard of you before. Tiki: (to self) Please be evil, please be evil... Kagato: Do you want to come to my shrine and pray? I'm the honorary Shinto priest, and we can all purify ourself of sin, if only we believe in the force of good. Tiki: NOOOOOOO!!!! *runs out of room* Tiki: *camera close to face* I am so scared.... Never mind, I'm cutting the Blair witch act. Anyway, construction is going on in the Universe locker room, and it's virtually the same thing anyway, so we're skipping that. Sorry for the inconvience. We're taking a detour to the Shin Tenchi locker room now! I hear only the Shin characters hang out here, so we're not going to see the regular Tenchi and Co. This fanfic is getting sooo screwed up. I'm just so lazy that's why. *Suddenly, the door of the Shin locker room bangs open and an angry hotsuma storms out of the room.* Tiki: Hotsuma, what's wrong? Hotsuma: Can someone please tell Tsugaru not to put up "Ryoko Loser" posters on my wall!!?? Tiki: Uh... Hotsuma: TSUGARU!!! I LOVE RYOKO!!! I LOVE HER, AND YOU"LL PAY FOR THIS!! *Hotsuma walks away, with a "I Hate Ryoko" sign taped to his back.* Tsugaru: That's a laugh!! Man, I gotta lift some weights. I hate this diet Pioneer put me on! And I hate these clothes! Tiki: Tsugaru, let's hear the answer to what everyone is asking: Are you a boy, or a girl? Tsugaru: Now that's top secret, I can't tell you that! Tiki: I'll give you a beer! Tsugaru: All right! I am a boy, but I was morphed into a girl's body. Happy? *Suddenly, a laser beam shoots Tsugaru, and he turns ito a pile of ash.* Pioneer Voice: I guess we have to get another girl for Tsugary. Man, that's the third one this week! Tiki: All right... Yugi: Hi! Tiki: Hi Yugi! What's that ultra technic machine you're holding? Is it an ice beam, or a galaxy destroyer, or a time portal? Yugi: It's called a Game Boy. I've almost mastered Pokemon Crystal! Tiki: Speaking of crystals, how do you like your role as a villian? Yugi: I get ice cream after I finish. Tiki: That's fantastic. So, how do you like it? Yugi: It's OK. Hey, I gotta get going! I have a sun tanning appointment soon! Gotta catch those rays you know! Don't want to get too pale! *Yugi runs out the door in a bathing suit.* Sakuya: Hi! Hey, do you know where Tenchi went? Tiki: No, why? Sakuya: Well, when I catch that creep, I'll kick him into next week! That bum better watch out if he knows what's good for him! I have machine guns, and if he doesn't want lead pumped in his stomach, he better get away from me!! Tiki: Whatever floats your boat. Sakuya: Hey, you know the Tenchi movie locker is behind you? You can check that out too! I better get going! I have to finish my autobiography, since I know it'll be extra long. Tiki: OK! C'mon camera man, let's get rolling! It won't hurt to get extra footage! *We enter the movie locker room, and we see Achika talking with KAIN.* Achika: Hi! My name is Achika, and this is my boyfriend KAIN. KAIN: Nice to meet you! Earth and Jurai are so nice, I don't see why anyone would want to destroy it. Tiki: All right, this is really strange. *Suddenly, Mayuka runs past us, and phases through the door.* Tiki: Where is she going in such a hurry? Achika: Mayuka is going to help Sakuya kill Tenchi for the fourth time today. I would help them, but I'd rather stay with KAIN. Tiki: What about Nobuyuki? Achika: Who? Tiki: Never mind. Where's Haruna? Achika: She dumped Yosho and Tenchi last month, and now she lives in the Bahamas. She's never been happier. Tiki: I'm leaving right now. *We exit the room, and take a detour to the Pretty Sammy locker room.* Tiki: Oh, here's the star of the show, Pretty Sammy! Pretty Sammy: Yeah yeah, but don't ask me to do any hocus pocus for ya, or any of that Valentine thingiemabobber. Tiki: Of course not! Oh, hi Pixy Misa! Pixy Misa: I hate being evil. I just want to save Juraihelm, and Ramia and Rumiya wants to as well. I hate evil magic. I hate everything evil! Pretty Sammy likes it though. Pretty Sammy: I sure do! Hey, you want to see me pull this carrot out of Ryo-Ohki? Tiki: *sweatdrop* No thanks... Misao: I have no time for people like you, I gotta see the press! Tiki: Misao? Misao: I have no time for you, I'm so popular! I have to improve my social staus! Tiki: Fine! *We exit the room, and leave the Pioneer and AIC cast room...for good.* Tiki: I'm never going in there again, those people are crazy! You can count on me that I will never do this again. I will do more stuff, but it's just that it's ruining my impression of Kagato! You know, Kagato is still calling my house, insisting that I get purified. What do you think? I think that if I get purified, ryu is coming with me, since he's the one who made me go in there in the first place! Anyway, thanks for reading a very short fanfic, and I'm sorrt if it's junk, but it's just that I'm tired, and I can't do a lot right now. Bai bai!