------------------------ Loden Taylor presents: The Missing Frog Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo, and its characters, are the property of Pioneer and AIC. I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue. As always, I'm open to C&C. My e-mail is loden_t@hotmail.com. And now, on with the story! ------------------------ It was decidedly NOT a bright, sunny day at the Masaki house. It had been raining for two days straight, and the new morning brought nothing but promises of more of the same. Ryoko awoke unusually early that day (around 10 in the morning) but, taking notice of the lousy weather, decided to go back to sleep. She would've done this with fervor, but there was something wrong. Something HORRIBLY wrong. Her little stuffed frog was gone. She looked around her but there was no mistaking it. Her frog was definitely missing. After a quick search of the rafters, she descended to the floor to continue her search. A few more minutes confirmed that she hadn't dropped it in her sleep...unless... "Unless it's under the furniture!" she said, snapping her fingers and rousing a groggy Nobuyuki who had been sleeping on the couch after a tough night of playing "ping-pong pitchers" with his father-in-law, Washu, and Ryoko. He currently had the second-largest hangover of his life, the largest having been that time back in his college days when he woke up to find himself sitting in a small, one engine plane in the middle of a field, with two sheep and a bag of ferrets as passengers. None of this mattered to Ryoko who, sans stuffed frog AND hangover, lifted the couch off the ground in order to look underneath it. With a cry, Nobuyuki fell to the ground and promptly passed out once again. Ryoko continued to search under the furniture and the unconscious Nobuyuki, but all she found was $3.28 in spare change, a comb, a breath mint, and an old, escaped experiment of Washu's which, upon being uncovered, screamed in a tiny voice and began oozing toward the door. No frog. She sat on the couch in a huff and watched Washu's blob ooze under the door to freedom as she tried to figure out where her stuffed frog might be. Then it hit her. Washu. The diminutive scientist seemed to know just about everything, so maybe she'd be able to help Ryoko find her frog. The demon floated over to the door to her mother's lab. She opened the door, and immediately ducked as a huge bolt of electricity shot over her head. Something hunched and ugly jumped out of the door, knocking Ryoko on her back. Screaming in some alien tongue, it began to power up for another blast. Before it could let loose, however, there was an orange flash, and it suddenly found its head a good distance away from the rest of its body. Ryoko kept her energy blade in the en-garde position as she carefully stepped over the alien's decapitated body and into the lab. She was greeted with the sight of Washu standing on top of a lab table, blasting more of the alien creatures with a gigantic plasma rifle while Mihoshi cowered beneath the table and reloaded her blaster. The read-headed scientist jumped down beside Mihoshi and reloaded as well. Glancing at the hordes of aliens that were trashing her lab, she sighed. "I never thought I'd see a resonance cascade, much less create one," she said, slamming another plasma charge into the stock of the rifle. "Um...Miss Washu..." the GP detective said hesitantly, "actually, you did. It was just five minutes ago. You said 'Hey, Mihoshi, come here! Want to see a resonance cascade?' Remember?" Washu paused for a moment. "Oh yeah..." Then, noticing Ryoko standing in the doorway, she waved. "Hey, honey! Over here! Mommy needs a little help!" Ryoko sighed and flew over, slicing an invader in two on the way. "What the hell is this?" she asked, gesturing at the chaos. "Oh, that's just a little experiment that got a tad out of hand," Washu replied, standing on the table again. "Ryoko, dear, you Mom would really appreciate it if you could help clean this up." Her face suddenly brightened. "Think of it as doing chores!" she said, laughing, as she opened fire once again. Ryoko surveyed the situation as Mihoshi began firing as well. "Chores my ass..." With another sigh, she charged a sphere of energy... **** Ten minutes later, the lab was quiet once again, and Washu was answering her daughter's queries as to her missing frog while Mihoshi attempted to clean up the dozens of dead aliens with a broom and dustpan. "Nope, can't help you there..." Washu said, scratching her head with a gore-stained hand, "unless you want an undead, zombie frog I created just last night. It has a horrible thirst for living blood! OH, THE THIRSTING!" she shouted, clenching her hands and shaking them in the air. "Christ, no," Ryoko replied, looking disturbed. "Why the hell would you make something like that in the first place?" Washu thought for a minute. "I...I can't remember. I think I was drunk at the time..." She shrugged and turned to help Mihoshi clean. Deciding that Washu would be positively detrimental to her search, Ryoko left, tossing the body of the decapitated alien back into the lab before closing the door. Once again, she sat on the couch, trying to think of where she might've left her frog as she put her feet up on the still unconscious Nobuyuki. Where the hell could that damn thing be? "Good morning, Ryoko." She turned to see Ayeka coming down the steps from upstairs. "Oh, good morning, Ayeka," she replied as the princess sat down on the couch and turned on the television. "Say, you haven't seen my little stuffed frog, have you?" Ayeka shook her head absentmindedly, already absorbed in her soap operas. "Sorry, Ryoko, I can't say that I have...er, that is..." She cleared her throat. "No, you foul monster woman, I haven't seen your accursed frog." "Oh. Well, if you see it, let me know, you..." Ryoko thought for a moment, "...stuck-up, pretty-princess." Ayeka nodded. "Will do." "Do you know where Tenchi is this morning?" The princess snorted half-heartedly. "Why would I tell a demon such as yourself - he's in the woods practicing, by the steps to the shrine - the whereabouts of Lord Tenchi, just so you can try and seduce him in some vulgar manner..." Ryoko turned and headed out the door, tossing out insults even as Ayeka kept speaking. "At least I have something to - thanks, Ayeka - seduce him with, unlike you who'd have to stuff a bag of cantaloupes down her shirt to even come close to..." She phased through the door and out into the rain, springing into the air in search of Tenchi. She soon found him, shirtless (which was precisely how she LIKED to find him), dripping wet (another plus), and vigorously attacking a rather stout-looking tree with his bokken (which was...odd). Gently landing beside Tenchi, Ryoko watched with no small amount of interest as he leapt forward again and again, jumping, dodging, and attacking the tree with all of his strength. He continued for another couple of minutes before finally dropping his bokken. Panting, he bent over, hands on his knees as he caught his breath. "He...hello...Ryoko..." he said in-between breaths. "Hi Tenchi," she said, crouching in order to see his face. "What are you doing?" "It's...it's part of my...training," he panted. "Grandfather told me to...come out here and do this...something about...'only when I've...learned to defeat the...mightiest of trees will I...be ready to take on...the smallest of opponents'..." "Uh-huh," Ryoko replied blandly. "Say, Tenchi, you haven't seen my little stuffed frog around anywhere, have you?" Tenchi straightened up, scratching the back of his head. "Um...no, I don't think so...sorry." Ryoko shrugged. "It's okay. Good luck with...whatever." She flew off, forgoing her morning glomping of Tenchi in order to continue her search for her frog. Tenchi watched her go, then picked up his bokken and resumed his attack. Meanwhile, Katsuhito, sitting under an umbrella several hundred steps above Tenchi, put down his binoculars and laughed. The boy was so gullible! Spout some philosophical nonsense and act wise, and he'd do anything! Like...well, attack a tree for half-an-hour straight. He toyed with the idea of telling him to go beat the hell out of the lake with a pillow, but in the end he decided to give Tenchi a break. Save that lake idea for another day... The distinctive sound of Ryoko phasing in told the priest that he was no longer alone. Without turning around he spoke up. "Good morning Ryoko. What brings you here?" "How long has he been going at it?" the pirate asked. Katsuhito produced a stopwatch from inside his robe and examined it. "Thirty-six minutes, 10 seconds." "You're one twisted son-of-a-bitch, did you know that?" To Ryoko's surprise, the old man laughed. "You have no idea," he said, standing. "Now, what can I do for you?" As Ryoko told him of her froggie dilemma, he nodded to himself. When she finished, he said nothing, apparently deep in thought. "Your frog," he said at last, "what is his name?" Ryoko gave him a quizzical look. "Mr. Winkles. Why?" "Names have a deep significance, Ryoko. You, yourself, should know this - is there not a reason that you are named 'demon caller?'" "Well, yes, but..." "A name tells a great deal about a person, or a thing. Tell me, why did you name him Mr. Winkles?" Ryoko's face took on a faraway look. "Well, it's a long story. You see, I got him about a month after Kagato was defeated. I'd been having strange dreams about..." Ryoko's reverie was cut short as she suddenly realized something. "Hey! This has nothing to do with finding my frog! You're just trying to screw with my head! Like you do with Tenchi!" With a snort, Ryoko turned to fly away. Katsuhito shrugged. "Well, if that's the way you feel, then how about just a helpful suggestion - it's always in the last place you look." Ryoko spun around. "That's no help, either!" she snarled. "Of COURSE it's always in the last place you look! Why the hell would you keep looking after you'd found it?!? Idiot." And with that, she vanished. Katsuhito stood there for a moment before collecting his things and heading back to the shrine. Some days, he just didn't know how he managed to keep a straight face. **** The rain finally let up round 11:30, becoming a light drizzle and then little more than a billowy mist. The improvement in the weather didn't brighten Ryoko's mood any, though. She'd looked just about everywhere, but there was still no sign of her frog. She'd tried picking a fight with Ayeka in order to make her feel better, but that had turned out to be a failure as well. Both she and the princess had been feeling less-than-energetic due to the lousy weather, and what had begun as a promising argument quickly degenerated into an extremely half-assed pillow fight. "Take that," Ryoko sighed, tossing the throw-pillow at the couch where Ayeka was lying. "Demon," Ayeka countered, catching the pillow and tossing it back at the floor, where Ryoko lay prone. "Bitch." The pillow landed beside the couch. "Slut." The pillow sailed back to Ryoko. "Priss." The pillow landed on Ayeka's legs. "Whore." The pillow hit the floor beside Ryoko's head and tumbled out of her reach. "Good one, princess," Ryoko yawned. "Shut up." Ayeka stretched on the couch. "Could you summon your guardians to get the pillow?" Ryoko asked. Ayeka gave her an odd look. "Okay, never mind." She got up and retrieved the pillow, tossing it back at the princess as she went to see what Sasami was doing. "Oh! Hello, Ryoko," the younger princess greeted her upon entering the kitchen. "Hey, Sasami. Making lunch?" "Yep!" "I'm sure it'll be great." Ryoko paused and thought for a moment. "Sasami, I haven't asked you yet, have I?" Sasami turned from the stove. "Asked me what, Ryoko?" "Where my little stuffed frog is?" "Oh!" She smiled. "Isn't that it, there? Peeking out of you pocket?" Ryoko looked down in shock. Sure enough, there it was, peeking out of her right pocket: her frog, Mr. Winkles, just as green and soft as ever. "Oh...yeah, that's it," she mumbled. "Thanks." Sasami smiled again. "No problem!" And she went back to cooking. Ryoko wandered out of the kitchen and flew up to her rafter. How in the world had she missed it? Was it really possible that she'd gone the whole morning without looking down at herself? Or had someone taken it and then put it back in her pocket when she wasn't looking... 'Nah,' Ryoko thought, hugging Mr. Winkles to herself as she lay back, 'I just never bothered to check my pockets.' With a yawn, she shut her eyes, dozing away the minutes until lunch. As Ryoko slept, Mr. Winkles laughed to himself. That had been a good trick, hiding in the house, then slipping back into her pocket while she was on the floor. That would be tough to beat...but he'd find a way next time. For now, though, he dozed with his mistress, held tight against her breast, dreaming his strange, fluffy dreams. ------------------------ Author's Notes: HA! Bet you didn't expect that, did you? Well, you probably expected that she'd find it in her pocket...but did you figure on the sentient stuffed animal? Probably not, I'm guessing. So there. So, here it is. If anyone out there wants to MST it, go ahead. I'm half-tempted to, myself. And, speaking of MST's, Escher MST #10 WILL be ready soon. I swear. And it'll probably even be funny. Probably. So I'd just like to tell all 3 of my fans: don't worry! I'll be back! Anyway, thanks for reading. And now for your moment of Zen... Bruce (as Evan the shoe salesman): Then I have made a sale? Scott (as Paul, the customer): It would appear so, Evan. Bruce: I sell shoes! Mark (as Satan): And so you always shall!! Bruce: Thank you Satan!