ŠThe Engagement A Spamfic by Washu-hime An unearthly hum filled the air outside a home in rural Japan, shattering the late-afternoon peace. The source of this hum was a light sword, wielded by one of the most feared fugitives in the universe, a criminal wanted by the Galaxy Police, the so -called "Demon of Rashouman," the "daughter" of the renowned scientist Washu Hakubi, and bane of existence for the Princess Aeka. In short, Ryoko. Most beings, when on the other end of Ryoko's light sword would be terribly frightened. In fact, this being was too, the first time he had been on the receiving end...but that was years ago, and Tenchi Masaki knew that Ryoko would not harm him. "Tenchi..." Ryoko growled, "I'm not gonna wait any more! You're going to tell me who you love or so help me, I'll make you sorry!" "Really Miss Ryoko," a prissy voice piped up from across the room, "are such strong-arm tactics really necessary? But then again, no one's every accused you of being subtle..." Aeka laughed shrilly, causing all animals within a five-mile radius to suddenly cock their heads in confusion and pain. The Princess continued, "You're only setting yourself up for disappointment, you know. Why would Lord Tenchi choose a monster like you when he could have a gentle, sweet, refined, beautiful..." Ryoko, in a rare flash of restraint, spoke calmly to Aeka, "I really don't care at this point, I just want to know for sure where I stand. If you don't want to know his choice, the doorway is over there, princess." Aeka shut up at this, eager to find out that SHE was his choice...she HAD to be, whom else would he choose? It would be divine to hear him say, "Aeka, be my wife," and hand her the cords with which to bind him in preparation for... Aeka's thoughts were thankfully interrupted by the arrival of Washu into the living room. She was calmly munching on some cookies while mumbling scientific gobbledygook to herself when the situation before her registered. "Oh hi everyone. Are you giving him an ultimatum, little Ryoko?" "Yes." Washu brightened and exclaimed, "That's great! I know Tenchi will make the right choice!" Washu popped into adult form, her voice husky as she purred, "I've waited so long to be a bride again." She struck a casually seductive pose and waited expectantly. Tenchi, all this while, was very nervous, not at Ryoko's blade or even the decision before him. A few years earlier he would have been panicked at either situation, but he was older and knew that eventually he would have to make his love known. It was the reactions of the girls that he was worried about. He gulped loudly and wished he had something to wipe his forehead with. "Ummm, could somebody bring the rest of the family here? I will only tell how I feel in the presence of everyone. There's no use hiding it anymore." A few minutes later, the entire Masaki household was assembled expectantly in front of him. Yosho wore his habitual solemn inscrutable expression; Sasami was sprawled comfortably on the couch, looking lanky with teenaged clumsiness. Nobuyuki peered through the lens of his camera, eager to get his son's engagement on tape. Mihoshi stared off into space dreamily, while Ryoko and Aeka took opposite corners of the couch and glared at each other. Washu had brought her floating pillow from her lab, as seating was at a premium. "Okay everybody, the time has come to end this competition for my heart. My love has grown and matured through the years for all of you, and my choice wasn't easy...but it IS final. Ryoko..." "YES!" the felon cried triumphantly, "Oh Tenchi, I knew you loved me!" She threw herself at Tenchi and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Umm, Ryoko..." Tenchi said, trying to extricate himself from Ryoko's death hold, "I wasn't finished. It's not you." Ryoko stared into Tenchi's eyes, hurt and angry. "Why?" she asked, with tears forming in her golden eyes. "You're a beautiful, wonderful, passionate woman. I've had some very memorable times with you, and for a while, I was sure it was you that I loved. Then I realized that I loved HER more." Ryoko sat back down on the couch, numb. "Aeka..." "Yes, Lord Tenchi?" Her tone was hopeful and confident. "You are demure and refined...but..." with that one syllable, Aeka could feel her dream crumbling. "You're also my great aunt, and you're going to be the ruler of Jurai, a planet I know little to nothing about! I can't live in that environment, always being scrutinized and plotted against. You need a husband that is more suited to who you are." "Oh Lord Tenchi, I will renounce the throne if that is all that keeps you from me! Please!" "Aeka," Tenchi replied softly, "That's not ALL of it. I cannot marry you." Ryoko, now in tears, passed the box of tissues to the sobbing Princess in an uncommon gesture of compassion. "Sasami, you are a delightful girl, and you've grown up to be quite attractive. You, however, are even more untouchable to me because of what you are, both a Princess and a Goddess. My main reason for not marrying you is that you are still a little girl, and to me, you will always be like a sister." "That's all right Tenchi," the blue-haired girl replied cheerily, "I kinda figured you'd never pick me over the other girls anyway. Can I be a bridesmaid though? Please?" Tenchi grinned; relieved the girl had taken his news so well, "Sure, Sasami." "Mihoshi, I don't really know you that well, but then again, I don't think anybody does. You are terribly sweet, but I just can't marry you." "You're not going to make me leave, are you Tenchi?" Mihoshi's china blue eyes began to threaten to overflow, her voice rising in volume, "Because I just couldn't stand to live without any of you ever again! DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE! WAAAAH!" Tenchi put his hand on her shoulder and tipped her chin to make her look at him, "I promise, I won't make you leave this house." "Yaay! I'm so happy!" As quick as her tears had begun, they were over, but that was very typical of Mihoshi. "Washu..." "Don't say it, Tenchi, you don't have to. I know why you don't love me, and truth is, I don't really want you that badly, I'm mostly just teasing...trying to get a rise out of you..." She giggled maniacally, and Tenchi knew she was thinking about the "Nurse Washu" incident. He shuddered. "Tenchi..." Yosho spoke and everyone turned to stare at him, "You've just gone through every female in the house. Who's left to be your bride?" The girls were struck by this realization and stared at Tenchi. "Funny you should mention that. The girl I will marry has been helpful, obedient, fun, cute...and she can change into a spaceship." As one, the household chorused, "RYO-OHKI?!" "Yes!" Tenchi cried, "Yes, she is my one true love! Ever since she melded with the Masu and was able to change her shape.... we have spent many hours together in the carrot patch, me picking the carrots and feeding them to her, and together we would walk back to the house. She never once tried to force herself on me, and she's never argued over me, nor pressed me for a decision! So I will marry her!" As one, the residents of the Masaki residence fell over, stunned. The End! Author's Notes: I was unendingly weary of these damn "weird" pairings! Washu with Ryoko, Ryoko with Ayeka, Aeka with Minagi, Kiyone with Mihoshi, Sasami with ANYONE that I finally decided that the only pairing that hadn't been tried was anyone besides Ken-Ohki (or her involved in a three -way in that abomination "At the Carrot Patch") with Ryo-Ohki. I recently remembered that Ryo-Ohki could change form in the OAV series, so I set out to mess with people's minds. I hope I succeeded.