The StarShip TeaCup Chronicles: MST of 'At the Carrot Patch' It is the middle of the 24th century. Mankind has evolved to such a stage that convicted felons are brought into space to be held so that they may not cause trouble. These starship prisons hold prisoners of all races, species and sexes. Our story starts on the STARSHIP TEACUP, the first of its kind - a multiracial, unisex starship. On this such starship, there is a massive riot which ends up with only a few convicted felons surviving. Unfortunately, the creators of the starship foresaw this and made it impossible for them to navigate the ship until they have did their community service. This community service is to MST Fan-Fics and punish their authors. Within the bowels of the starship, in suspended animation, lie the authors of the Fan-Fiction up for MST. The prisoners will not be allowed out until all the authors are punished for their evil deeds. Most are lemon writers and these are held under high security. The MSTers are: Mad Shane - Also known as 'Insane'. The leader of the renegades and co- conspirator of the revolution who escaped by cracking Tots head off the bars until they bent. He is criminally insane, but shows a large amount of intelligence. He is very sadistic when he needs to be and is able to conjure up evil space demons to do his bidding. It is unsure how he does this, but it might have something to do with Evil Tina. Insane has shaved most of his black hair off and is wearing, at the point of writing, white combat bottoms and a white baggy T-shirt. Sane Shane - Also known as 'The Coffeemaker'. Friend of Insane, and overall good guy. Makes a smashing cup of tea. He had no doing in the revolution and decided to stay in his cell. However, this was all a ruse as the guards trusted him, he killed them all without breaking a sweat. What a guy. He has hair put in a spikey-uppy fringe thingy, and a black and orange fleece. He forgot to wear trousers today and is walking around in shorts the same colour as his fleece. Evil Tina - Also known as 'Satan'. Despite her charming and nauseatingly cute voice, Tina is pure evil. Not only is she able to do sadistic things only Hitler would dream of. She is also in tune with The Dark Place, a dimension where the most vicious things in creation live. This gives her strange powers which would show how Insane has some as well. She is the only female MSTer. Besides Tots. Her hair goes down over her shoulders and she is wearing a blood red top under a black coat that reaches down to her shins. She is also wearing shiny leather trousers. Tots - Also known as 'Stevie'. God bless this man. Tots is the joker of the pack and has not got a kind word to say about anyone. Anyone. However, everyone loves him despite the fact he's a bitch and makes fun of everything and everyone. Nice lad really. He was used to open the cell the renegades were trapped in. Tots is in the new fashion line in outer space. However, he hated it, so he changed into a football top and tracksuit bottoms. His strawberry-blonde hair is also shaved. O'Neill - Also known as 'Conor'. Conor O'Neill. Private Conor O'Neill. An army cadet put in prison for simply being quite evil and shooting the general. Apparently he deserved it. Whatever way, he is in here now and has to do the community service. He got the weapons for the renegades to use. He is wearing a blue shirt and combat bottoms, much the same as Insane's. His hair is shaved, but he still keeps his fringe which is stuck up at a gravity-defying angle. Jammy - Also known as 'Joshua'. The mastermind behind the revolution. Ask Jammy anything about anything and he will tell you the answer. Not only a genius, but also stupidly talented. However, try and tell him something and his reply will contain so much sarcasm and spite that you will drown in your own brain juices. He is wearing a purple silk sleeveless shirt and black jeans. His hair is cut short and bleached blonde. Other people: Neurotic distortion - The prison band that weren't killed by the renegades. The consist of Kieran (guitarist), Ryan (Bass) and Sean (Vocals). They occasionally talk to add comments but were told to keep quiet lest they be punished by Tina. Emma C - Also Known as 'Emms'. Someone in their cell block who was let live, but unfortunately wasn't sadistic enough to go on the MST team. She works in the projection room and is trained in the whole sequence of events during MSTing and knows what to do. She was called Emma C to differentiate her from Emma Mc, who is missing at the point of writing. Note: The text within < and > refer to the Fan-Fic being MSTed. The text within - and - refers to the actions of the MSTers. I use script for whenever the MSTers add little tit-bits because its easier to write than like what I'm typing right now. There will, however, be a little intermission in the middle, where the MSTers set out to destroy the vile scum who wrote the Fic. You might want to get something to drink or something. Also, this Fic is a lemon. There are scenes of explicit sexual nature. Don't say you haven't been warned. On with the show... -The theatre lights illuminate as the MSTers enter the room. One after another, they look about and take their seats. Screens come down and they make their selection of food- Insane: Well, this seems to be nice doesn't it? Tina: Aye, its okay. Sane Shane: Nice food anyway. -Neurotic Distortion plays low music- O'Neill: Who the hell are they? Sane Shane: Our house band. They weren't killed by us. O'Neill: Why? Sane Shane: Didn't you read the character descriptions? O'Neill: No why? Sane Shane: -Sighs- Cos they tell you why the hell we're here. O'Neill: Oh right. Cos I was wondering' that myself. Tots: -Smacks O'Neill around the back of his head- Shut up its starting. -The lights dim and the band stop playing as the Fic starts up- Tots: Ooh all dark. Tina: Who's working the projector? Sane Shane: Why is there a projector in the 24th century? Insane: I dunno. Emma C works up there. -Jammy sighs- Jammy: Woohoo! And I thought this MST thing would suck. We get to watch porn! Sane Shane: Do we get a bitathathere? -Everyone stares blankly at him- Insane: Get what?!? Sane Shane: A bitathathere. A bit of that there. Tina: -Shakes her head and sighs- It's too early for me to do that Shane. Sane Shane -Muttering to himself- Thank god. Tots: What's a browser? O'Neill: The bad guy in Mario. Jammy: That's Bowser you nobjockey. -Sane Shane and Insane clap- Sane Shane: Good use of the word nobjockey Jammy. Insane: I can't seen this ending well. Tina: -Looks scared- Oh no, amateur porn! -The others look at her- Jammy: How would you know that amateur porn is bad? Tina: -Blushes slightly- Erm, I dunno. Guess? Tots: Somebody else? That's some description. Insane: Maybe the writer doesn't want to admit that he/she/it destroyed a perfectly good companies cartoon. Jammy: Or maybe the author is simply a dumbass. Insane: That is viable too. Tots: I'm well taking that down and flaming the bastard. -The others except for O'Neill look at Tots blankly- Jammy: What the hell does flame mean? As if someone's gonna toast you Tots. O'Neill: It means to send someone hateful or distasteful e-mails. Jammy: -Coughs- Prat. O'Neill: Do they not have any other food? Tina: Gotta love that fresh taste of newly farmed carrots. Insane: Ah Ryo-ohki. It's actually spelt Ryo-Oh-Ki. But hell, if everyone else gets it wrong, why can't this fool? Sane Shane: Cos he's sad? Insane: Exactly. Jammy: Oh yeah, showing off your chest really makes you cool down. Tina: How would you know? You've never did that before. Jammy: And I'm sure you've did it before Tina. -Coughs- Slut. Tina: See Jammy, that's how you're supposed to look. What happened? Insane: Yeah Jammy, even Tina's got a more muscular chest than you. O'Neill: No, she's got a flatter chest than her. Insane: Good point. Tots: Here, Insane, how would you know the difference between Jammy and Tina's chest? Insane: -Blushes- None of your damn business. Insane: Just like Narcissus. -The others look at Insane as if he had just spoke in German- Insane: Greek mythology. Fancied himself. Jammy: He's gay then? Sane Shane: I hate people that say that Tenchi's gay. Tenchi simply does not wish to hurt one of the girls by choosing one and not choosing the other. He's really considerate. Tots: Then why doesn't he have them all? They all want him. Tina: So if Tenchi fancies Tenchi, then there's two of them? O'Neill: I think this writer is just screwed up. O'Neill: Okay, so according to this guy, Tenchi's gay, there's two of him, and he's a transsexual? Insane: Lets hope that's a typo, or else this stories gonna get really confusing. Tina: And if he's gay, then what the hell's Sasami doing there? I think she'd better leave the two Tenchi's alone with this author so they can sort something out. Jammy: -In movie advert voice- Attack of the growing penis. Tina: -As scared B-movie actress- No Daniel, it's coming for me. It wants to impregnate me to make a whole army of growing penises. O'Neill: -As Daniel- Must... get... out... of... crappy... movie... Tots: What a trooper. Insane: Kudos to Tenchi Kieran: Show your support people. -Everyone claps politely- Sane Shane: Not a picky cabbit, that Ryo-Oh-Ki. Insane: Do you think she'd like the carrots in Hendersons? Jammy: Does anyone like the carrots in Hendersons? Sane Shane: What are you talking about? Insane: Erm, nothing. O'Neill: I doubt it. Do you see the speed that that cabbit goes through carrots? Like lightning. Tots: Cabbit shaped lightning? O'Neill: Yip. With a wee fuzzy tail. Tina: Awwwwwww. Cutie. Insane: Sasami's what? 10 or so isn't she? How would she know that Tenchi's, erm, bulge, was caused, not only by her, but also what it means when that happens? As if she'd even be interested in going near there at her age. Sane Shane: She's a growing girl. She's curious. Tina: Yeah, but when I was 10, I didn't know about that kind of thing. Jammy: And that's saying something Tina. Tina: Would you stop implying that I'm a slut? Jammy: -Thinks for a bit- No, it's my running joke. Jammy: Hehe, pull. Insane: Jammy, I doubt you'll be laughing later on. In fact, that reminds me. -Insane gives the others brown bags labelled 'In Case Of Emergency'- O'Neill: What the hell are these for? Insane: You'll see. Tina: I'm scared. Insane: You should be. Tots: Crap! Did you see the power on that cabbit? It must have some strength. Sane Shane: Yeah, it must work out or something. Tina: Actually, Ryo-Oh-Ki is quite strong. She can lift Tenchi up off his feet. Jammy: But where did she go? She just flew up and didn't come down. Insane: Maybe it shall be revealed later. O'Neill: -Tilts his head slightly- How in the name of God is that possible? Sane Shane: Whatchutalkinabout? O'Neill: If they were beside each other, facing the same way, then that means Sasami had to spin around in mid air, have precise timing to land on Tenchi and must fly higher than Tenchi so she can land after him. Tots: Good lord, it defies physics. Insane: Your head defies physics. -All the lads wince as the word 'mashed' and 'stiff dick' were used in the same sentence. Tina smiles- O'Neill: Ah yes, the fantasies of Sasami moving her hips on his penis. Tina: Would that not crush- Sane Shane: -Points his gun at Tina's head- Don't you dare finish that sentence. Tots: They haven't even said a word to each other yet. Just out of the blue, Tenchi does that. O'Neill: This is severely OOC. -The others look at O'Neill- Tina: OOC? O'Neill: Out of character. I think. Jammy: You should get out more. Sane Shane: Is it possible to do that? Like, I dunno, but I don't think Sasami could undo her shorts as well as Tenchi's at the same time. Like, could you do that with one hand? Jammy: Tina probably could. Tina: Yeah Jammy, and you're good at doing other things with one hand. -The others laugh as Jammy slides lower in his seat- Insane: I thought Jurian princesses had more layers of clothes on. Sane Shane: Yeah, she only undid her shorts, with one hand, and her shirt. Usually, she wore loads of clothes. Tots: And since when where women on top? She's only 10, how the hell could she know what to do when she was on top? Jammy: Are the Jurian princesses not trained in marriage, erm, positions? Tina: Yeah, and in S&M -The lads shudder at the thought of whips, handcuffs and blindfolds- Jammy: Yeah Tina, you would know all- Tina: -Steals Sane Shane's gun and points it at Jammy's head- I dare you to finish that sentence. -The lads eyes bulge out of their skulls- Tots: That's impossible. Jammy: Most guys can't do that with their hands, never mind teeth. O'Neill: Especially Tenchi. He hasn't really got much history with girls. Tina: Like you then Conor? O'Neill: Shut your mouth Tina. Sane Shane: How can he remove it with a small tug? If the clasp was at the front. Insane: Then the straps would have to go over her arms, and around the back. Tots: And does Sasami have breasts now? She's only 10. Sane Shane: Here Tina, did you have breasts when you were 10? Oh hell, why am I asking you? You don't have breasts now. -Tina cracks Sane Shane over the back of the head with the butt of her pistol- Insane: Lets hope he removed his hand from around Sasami's back or else he's gonna have some trouble there. O'Neill: Maybe he's Indian. Like the guy out of Street Fighter 2. Jammy: Dalsiem. Or something. Sane Shane: Aye, he was cool, but Blanka was the king. Tina: Would you testosterone fuelled cretins watch the Fic? I want out of here quickly. Sane Shane: -Shaking head- Tut tut Sasami. I thought you'd got past the stage of wetting yourself. Jammy: Ahem, Shane, I don't think that Sasami wet herself. Sane Shane: Then why else is she wet? -The others look at each other- O'Neill: You see Shane... when a woman becomes aroused... -O'Neill gives Shane a biology lesson and he runs to the bathroom- Insane: What a guy. Not only can he dislocate his shoulder, but he can also whip off panties in a quick motion. Ryan: I wish I could do that. Sean: I used to be able to do it. But then I was banished to the cupboard. Tots: But her panties are already off. Has she got two pairs. -Sane Shane enters the theatre again, see what's on the screen and runs off again- O'Neill: What? Did she just sit on him or something? Insane: Now that would sting. Jammy: Yep. Burn like the fires of hell. Tots: Are they gonna do it in the middle of the carrot patch? Its daylight. Anyone could just walk past. Tots: What would hurt? O'Neill: Being in this Fic? Jammy: Being forced to do evil deeds? Insane: I doubt a girl of 10 would dismiss pain just because she wanted Tenchi. Like, I doubt she's even masturbated, how the hell would she want him badly then? Tina: He's obviously talking about her hymen being broke. And hurt a bit? It hurts like hell. Jammy: Yeah, but you were too young to remember how bad it hurt, Tina. Tina: -Points the gun at Jammy's head- Right that's it. -Pulls the trigger and there is a splash of blood as Jammy's head is ventilated. He slumps forward in his seat- Tots: I'm not cleaning that up. Insane: -Jumps up from his seat- You killed Jammy. You bitch. O'Neill: Insane, I wouldn't mess with a sadist with a gun. -Insane gulps and sits down- Insane: Good lord, his penis was split open? -The lads use their bags to vomit in as Tina leans forward for a better view- Tina: Oooohhhh, look at the blood. -They vomit more- Is that the inside of his penis? -More vomiting- Good lord, look at his testicles. -The lads run out of the theatre to the toilets- Oh well, I'll just sit here then. Tina: Actually, if it subsided, that means it's gone and can't be replaced with pleasure. This guy knows nothing. Tina: Can she not do that herself? Is she lazy or something? And I think it would be taxing on Tenchi's arms for him to continually do this. Tina: Sasami's not doing any downstrokes. She's just sitting there while Tenchi does it all. Tina: Why the hell would she want to do that? It she trying to set him on fire or something? Tina: How the hell did she get underground? Last I heard of her, she was flying through the air. Speaking of flying. -Tina bends over to Jammy's body and steals his wallet- Heh heh. Air Miles. Tina: I doubt she would want to know. Tina: Of course not. Eating carrots is more important than finding out what those tremors are. And how did Tenchi simply lifting Sasami up and down cause tremors? -The lads re-enter the theatre, groggily as the lights come on and the Fic stops- Tina: What? What the hell? Emma C: Hey, its the interval. You get to kill the bastard who made this lemon. Sane Shane: Thank God. I'm a gonna murder him good. Insane: But first we gotta get Jammy back to life. O'Neill: How do we do that Batman? Insane: By bringing him to the ER so he can be operated on. -~=*^*=~- -The MSTers enter a room. In this room, there are loads of canisters filled with floating bodies. These are the bodies of the authors of the Fan-Fics up for MST. They float in a green liquid with loads of wires connected to them- Tots: Right, who was the guy who wrote this thing? O'Neill: His pen name is Ryo-Ohki. Sane Shane: Right, so... -They look around at the many cylinders. There must have been over 100 authors there. Eventually, they found he who is known as Ryo-Ohki- Insane: This is him. How do we release him? Tina: Press that button there. -Insane presses the button, and there is a whirring sound as all the wires are released off Ryo-Ohki. The liquid is drained and the door opens as he awakes. He notices there are six very annoyed looking people around him with various instruments of destruction- Jammy: So, you're the sick bastard who wrote 'At the Carrot Patch'? -Ryo-Ohki, luckily dressed in black clothes that are soaked by the liquid, coughs and spits out some of the liquid- Ryo-Ohki: Yeah, why? Tina: Cos we saw it and now we want to kill you. -Ryo-Ohki's face shows a look of horror. He panics and frantically looks about for an exit. He sees one behind the group and dashes for it, knocking them all away- Tots: Crap, he's getting away. Tina: -Smirks- Just leave him. I love the chase. And anyway, how hard can he be to find? He's a soaking wet guy dressed in black, and running around a deserted space prison. Jammy: -Scratches his head where a bandage is, covering his bullet wound- Come on back to see the rest of the Fic so we can enjoy murdering him. -The others nod before making their way back to the theatre- -~=*^*=~- -In the theatre, the MSTers sit down- O'Neill: Right, about catching Ryo-Ohki, I think one of us should go at a time, so the rest can continue to MST the work. Sane Shane: I nominate Tots. Insane: Me too. Tina: Yeah, Tots would be great for catching that guy. Jammy: I agree Tots: Ach, now come on. Don't I at least get some sort of weapon? -Emma C comes down from the projector room and shows him an arsenal of guns, knives, clubs and assorted instruments of destruction, laid out on a table. Tots selects a samurai sword, but quickly puts it back when he has flashbacks about him and swords. He then picks up a shotgun and pumps the barrel- Tots: Right, I'm off. Wish me luck. Tina, O'Neill, Jammy, Sane Shane: Good luck! Insane: Hope you die. -Tots leaves and the Fic starts up again- Jammy: The climax? What is this a mountain? Tina: An orgasm, Jammy. Jammy: I know, but how the hell can you reach it? And laboured breathing and moaning? He's sliding her up and down on his penis. It's basically masturbation without your hand. O'Neill: You'd know all about that. Sane Shane: I think he would naturally slow down. I'm sure doing all the work with your hands sure would tire you out. Tina: Jesus Christ, you're all wankers. All of you. Jammy: And proud of it. O'Neill: -Looks at his feet- Speak for yourself. Tina: Oh so there's screaming now? Last time I heard, there was just laboured breathing and moans. Insane: Maybe they're screaming to get out of this Fan-Fic. Sane Shane: Speaking of screaming, where's Tots? O'Neill: He'll turn up. Always does. Jammy: So, Ryo-Oh-Ki won't come out when there's an earthquake, but will when there's some screaming. For once, I think this guy makes sense. Tina: Almost. Sane Shane: If Tenchi's a normal teenage boy, then I doubt he would scream. Ever. Even during sex. Jammy: What about Sasami? Sane Shane: I dunno. Lets ask Tina. Tina, when you orgasm, do you scream? Tina: I'm not talking to you two. O'Neill: Exhausted? He was doing all the work. She sat there and screamed. This author is a shame towards Tenchi. A pox on him. Tina: Do you hear that? -Tots enters the room. He is sweating profusely and his face is red- Tots: Couldn't.. catch... him... too... fast... -Tots collapses- Jammy: Should we help him? Insane: Nah just leave him there. But who's going to find Ryo-Ohki? O'Neill: I'll go. Comin' Tina? Jammy: That happens to Tina every night. -Tina grabs a sword off the table and slices at Jammy, cutting his seat, but missing him by a hairs breadth- Tina: Next time you won't be so lucky. -O'Neill grabs a sub-machine gun and runs after Tina- Insane: Again, how the hell could they both be tired out when Tenchi was doing the work while she just sat there? Sane Shane: Relax what muscles? His arm muscles? Her vaginal muscles? What? Jammy: Do they still remember they're in the middle of a carrot patch? In broad daylight? Sane Shane: When you're in a lemon, the laws of physics and the fact that your doing it in plain sight of the house does not matter. Insane: I can't see this ending well. -Tots gets up and groggily walks over to his seat- Tots: You bitches. Why didn't you help me up? Insane: Cos we're lazy. And we don't like you. Sane Shane: I wouldn't really smile. I'd be scared. Jammy: If I were Ryo-Oh-Ki, I'd be scared. He's using a good carrot for sinister deeds. -Jammy throws up- Insane: Two things. One, she's still lying down. Why would he kneel down to do that? He can just lie down. Two, how the hell can a carrot be stuffed up there? Has she got most of her intestines removed or something? Sane Shane: I'm beginning to think I should have went after that guy. Tots: Go on Ryo-Oh-Ki, get that carrot. Insane, Tots and Sane Shane: Go Ryo, go Ryo-Oh-Ki, go. Jammy: -Sighs- And to think, they do it all without the aid of drugs... -Jammy vomits into his bag- Insane: How in the name of God is that possible? Tots: You're right Insane, most of her intestines have been removed. Sane Shane: And if they haven't, they'll be crushed under the pressure of a cabbit and carrot. Jammy: Oh dear God. Do we have to sit through this? Sane Shane: Yep, in order to get home. Tots: Hear Shane over there. This isn't community service, its torture. Insane: Tis less of a story, more of an instrument of evil. Begone vile fiend of terror -Throws his coke at the screen-. Damnedable spaceship of hell. A pox on it! Sane Shane: It seems Insane has awoken. Tots: I wouldn't if I were you. Jammy: You probably would, Tots. Sane Shane: Uh oh. I cannot see this ending well. Insane: Of all the godforsaken places in this universe, I had to be here. Avast! Tots: What the hell is he on about? -Jammy vomits more into the bag- Sane Shane: Oh no! Anal sex. My only weakness. Tots: It is too. Hates arses, so he does. Jammy: Sat where? Tots: In... erm... there. Jammy: I've seen too much. I can't vomit anymore. Jammy: I stand corrected. -Vomits into his bag- Sane Shane: Overuse of the word Sasami. What a cretin. Tots: There's a bloody paedofile on that screen, and you're making grammar comments? Bloody twat. Sane Shane: Shut your ass Tots. Jammy: Tenchi is destined to get that penis on fire, isn't he? Sane Shane: No I think he's trying to get a fire going so he can burn the bastard who wrote this. -O'Neill and Tina enter the room. Tina wipes her mouth and fixes her hair. O'Neill pulls up his trousers and fixes his shirt.- Sane Shane: So did you find him? O'Neill: Erm, no. Tots: Then why do you looked wrecked? Tina: Well, erm, ya see, we- -Insane jumps up screaming from his seat, grabs a samurai sword from the table and runs from the room- Sane Shane: Don't worry, Insane'll bring him back. -Tina and O'Neill sit down.- Tina: So what's happened so far? Jammy: Tenchi humped her, Ryo-Oh-Ki jumped in her vagina, and now they're doing it up the ass. -Vomits more into his bag, which is now full.- Tina: I didn't know Tenchi went to the shop to get some meat. Sane Shane: I think that's his penis Tina. O'Neill: If he pounded into her, wouldn't that sting? And bleed? Jammy: You're right. Tina, what's that like? Tina: Well, it stings a bit, bu- Hey! Shut the hell up. Tina: You shouldn't tease Tenchi. Jammy: Bet you've been teased a lot Tina. Tina: I swear Jammy, I'll cut off your head this time if you don't shut up. Tots: Very descriptive, aren't we? Sane Shane: Maybe it has some relevance later on in the story. Jammy: I hope not. O'Neill: So she's running her finger around her nipple, and she's gonna finger herself? Jammy: Course not. Tenchi's doing that. Sane Shane: Too easy. Tina: What is? Sane Shane: Nothing. Tina: Hand, meet Tenchi's Balls, Tenchi's Balls, meet Hand. Tina: -A la Teletubbies- Big hhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuggggggggg. Tots: Let's hope he did it with each hand or else Sasami is in a world of pain right about now. Sane Shane: Whatchutalkinabout? Tots: Well, for him to do that with one hand, Sasami would have to bend over and break her back. Sane Shane: There's an ongoing joke about one hands in this Fic. Tina: Well it better stop. We remember what happened last time when ongoing jokes went too far, don't we Jammy? Jammy: -Quietly- Yes. Tots: My God! Ryo-Oh-Ki's doing the carrot? Everyone's doing something aren't they? Jammy: No wonder she loves carrots so much. -At this point, the author of this monstrosity, Ryo-Ohki, runs in, screaming, with Insane running after him. Insane closes the door, and laughs maniacally, as he sees his prey cornered.- Insane: Come friends, we shall gut him together. -Everyone, including Neurotic Distortion and Emma C select a weapon. They run for Ryo-Oh-Ki, who runs away. The chase continues around the room, with gunshots going off, chairs flying and people falling. Somehow Ryo-Oh-Ki survives this. -They trap him in a corner and, out of the blue, Kieran falls from on high, where he had been hiding and smashes a banjo over Ryo-Oh-Ki's head. The others dive on Ryo-Oh-Ki and there is screaming as they viciously tear him apart. -After a few minutes, they stand up and survey the damage. Each of them is covered with Ryo-Oh-Ki's blood, and Jammy has a bit of rotten flesh coming out of the side of his mouth. He quickly swallows this and they return to their positions to continue to MST the end of the Fic- -All the lads wince as they see this- Sane Shane: That's bound to sting. Tina: I doubt Tenchi would feel that since his mind in numbed due to the crapness of this Fic. Tots: How can he hump her if she's on top of him? Jammy: Good point Tots. For once you make sense. Tots: I'll slap you if you don't shut up. Tina: Well, at least this time the sounds are moans and not screams. Tots: Shudder? Sane Shane: Why would you shudder? -O'Neill and Tina look at each other and smile- Jammy: Insane, you're pretty quiet. Insane: Just give me a chance. Any chance Insane: There's my chance! -Insane jumps up out of his seat and starts to slice at Ryo-Oh-Ki's lifeless body in the corner. The others follow and again, there is much splashing of blood. They all return to their seats after a few minutes, except for Jammy, who stays and starts making weird sounds as if he's eating something.- Sane Shane: Here, Jammy, it's near the end, c'mon and watch the rest. -Jammy walks over. There is a visible amount of raw meat on his clothes. Some blood and pieces of meat are splashed on his face.- Tots: Jammy, you've got a little spot there. On your face. Jammy: What? Oh, okay. -Jammy licks his face clean of blood. This doesn't seem to bother Tots, since he's sat through the most of this Fic.- Insane: Yet another chance! -Again the others dive over to mutilate the body of Ryo-Oh-Ki. They all finish and walk out. Jammy carries a bag that leaks blood.- -~=*^*=~- -Insane is sitting on his bunk. There is a knock on the door, and Sane Shane enters.- Sane Shane: So, how did you like that Fic? Insane: It was disgusting. Like, raping is one thing, but paedofilia is another. I felt like retching the whole time. I'm glad it's over. It sucked more than Monica Lewinsky. Sane Shane: Who? Insane: No-one. Sane Shane: Yeah, well, at least we don't have to do that any more. -There's a knock at the door. Tina enters. O'Neill is walking behind her.- Tina: So, next Fic is next week. -Sane Shane and Insane make evil faces as if they just saw Tots eating.- Sane Shane and Insane: What?!? Tina: That's not all of out community service, we still need to do the rest. Insane: You mean... all those people in the containment room? All those guys in the glass cylinders? O'Neill: Girls too. Don't worry, we only have to do enough for our community service. Sane Shane: And how much is that? O'Neill: I dunno. The next Fic is next week. Okay? -Sane Shane and Insane nod silently. Tina and O'Neill leave.- Sane Shane: Christ. More bloody Fan-Fics. Let's hope they don't suck like that one. Insane: I doubt it Shane. I really doubt it. Authors note: So, how did you like it? It's my first MST, and I'm pretty happy with it all. I used the lemon 'At the Carrot Patch' because its a good place to start and it's really bad. There'll be more MSTs from me in the near future, and those who want to e-mail me about any aspect of this MST, my e-mail address can be found at www.TMFFA.com. Why I chose this Fic: I suppose if your Ryo-Ohki, or just still reading this Fic, you're probably wondering why I chose this Fic to use. Well, the answer is simple. It's a terrible Fic. I'm sure that if it revolved around someone other than Sasami, then it be okay, except in any normal country, having sex with a girl under the age of consent is called paedofilia. It is something truly evil to use as a Fan- Fic subject and is infamous as one of the worst Fan-Fics ever written. I am not really sorry for saying this since no one really likes 'At the Carrot Patch'. I'm sure it has been MSTed more times than needed, but it is a terrible Fic and must he punished, and since we don't know Ryo-Ohki's real name or address, this is the only good way to do it. And if we did have his address, he'd probably be thrown in jail anyway. Either that or killed by a bunch of anti-paedofilia protesters. Thanks to: Christopher Totton, James Mc Guigan, Shane Mc Mahon, Conor O'Neill and Tina Seeley for letting me use them as templates for my MSTers. Thanks also to Kieran Mackle, Sean Mackle and Ryan Mc Quillian for letting me use their band. Also to Emma Campbell for using her projector. I would like to thank Jerry the Juicer and Defiler Bob for letting me use aspects of their brilliant MST series, 'MST from Hell'. Cheers guys. And last, but not least, I would like to thank you, the reader, for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all. Dedication: This MST is dedicated to all those people on whom I based the characters in this. This is for you! Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! belongs to Pioneer and AIC. The Fan-Fic 'At the Carrot Patch' belongs to some sicko by the name of Ryo-Oh- Ki. The characters Tots, Insane, Sane Shane, Jammy, O'Neill, Tina, Ryan, Emma C, Kieran and Sean are copyright of Mad Shane And Austie Enterprises Inc c. All rights reserved. Visit us at www.madshaneandaustie.cjb.net.