REVENGE ON RYO-OHKI Formality Note: All characters are copyright of AIC/Pioneer LDC Inc. And just so you know: this is set in OAV continuity (more or less), which is why Kagato has white hair and yellow eyes. by Cabbit Lover The first thing Tenchi became aware of was the throbbing of his head. Did Grandpa hit me too hard in sword practice again? he wondered. The second thing he became aware of were the straps holding him down. Hewas manacled to something like an operating table. ÒOh, I get it!Ó he laughed, nervously. ÒWashu must have kidnapped me for some experiment.Ó ÒI only wish that were the cause,Ó sighed WashuÕs voice. Tenchi turned his head to his left -- no easy feat, since his forehead was similarly manacled -- to see Washu in a similar predicament. Slowly turning his head to the right, he saw that all the girls were in this state, as were his father and grandfather. Even Ryo-ohki was pinned down, in her cabbit form. ÒAh, youÕre awake,Ó said a voice in a chilling tone. What was especially chilling about the voice was that it belonged to a man long dead. A man with white hair and bespectacled yellow eyes. A man who was entering the room, dressed in a lab smock. ÒKagato!Ó growled Ryoko. ÒSo youÕre the one behind all this!Ó ÒKagato?!Ó exclaimed Tenchi. ÒBut how? I donÕt understand, I blew you up!Ó Kagato took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth. ÒSurely, Tenchi,Ó he said in a rather sarcastic tone, Òeven you must have heard of the concept of cloning.Ó ÒCloning?Ó Tenchi repeated. ÒSo, was it the real you I destroyed, or a clone?Ó ÒI think thatÕs a rather moot point, donÕt you?Ó Kagato asked in a cynical tone. ÒNow, where was I? Oh, yes...IÕm going to gain my revenge on you all. ÒDonÕt bother trying to escape,Ó he warned them. ÒMy bonds are negating all your powers. Now who to start with?...I know!Ó He walked over to Ryo-ohki and drew out a scalpel. ÒYou couldnÕt have pursued me into space without a spaceship. So...IÕm going to destroy your little transformer.Ó ÒNo!Ó screamed Sasami. ÒNot Ryo-ohki!Ó ÒYou canÕt kill her!Ó shouted Washu. ÒWatch me,Ó said Kagato in an arrogant tone. Wielding the scalpel like a sacrificial dagger, he plunged the blade toward the tiny cabbitÕs unprotected chest. Snip! Kagato stared at the broken scalpel, a look of disbelief on his face. He pulled out a forceps and plunged them at the cabbitÕs soft-furred body, intending to split her apart. These too broke. Now angry, Kagato tried a real knife. This had no effect either. ÒWait right there,Ó he snarled. As he left, Kiyone started to slip her hands out of her bonds. ÒYou...can do that?Ó asked Ryoko. ÒI learned how after a few mishaps with Mihoshi and handcuffs,Ó replied Kiyone. ÒDonÕt make me tell any stories.Ó ÒI wonÕt,Ó promised Ryoko. ÒBy the way, you might wanna know IÕve learned the same trick.Ó She proved it by slipping her hands out of her manacles. ÒYouÕre not exactly someone whoÕd stay cuffed for long anyway,Ó smirked Kiyone. Then she heard a noise. ÒOh, crap! KagatoÕs coming back!Ó ÒI got an idea!Ó said Ryoko. ÒNow that IÕm out, IÕve got my powers back!Ó She split into two Ryokos, and then one Ryoko recuffed the other. The one that remained free then recuffed Kiyone and turned invisible. Kagato reentered the room armed with various weaponry. He tried an axe, a crowbar, Tenchi-Ken, and a Galaxy Police blaster on Ryo-ohki. Then, after throwing grenades at her, he revved up a chainsaw and proceeded to go Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the Òpoor, defenselessÓ cabbit. All it resulted in was an angry cabbit with messed-up fur. As the invisible Ryoko proceeded to free Tenchi and Washu, Sasami and Mihoshi proceeded to laugh at KagatoÕs increasingly humorous and pathetic attempts to harm a surprisingly indestructible cabbit. Even Ayeka was beginning to chuckle, and the other two male Masakis smirked. Kagato screamed with rage and, not even noticing that the other prisoners were being rescued, ran out of the room. When he returned, it was with a James Bond-style laser, the kind used in the scene where Bond asks, ÒDo you expect me to talk?Ó and the bad guy says, ÒNo, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!Ó With the words ÒMust...kill...this...bloody...furballÓ falling from his foaming lips, Kagato proceeded to laser-slice Ryo-ohki. Of course, all that got sliced were the manacles holding Ryo-ohki to the table and negating her powers. One shrug, and the tiny cabbit was free! And she wasnÕt the only one. Tenchi had freed up Noboyuki, Yosho/Katsuhiko, and Ayeka. While Ayeka released Sasami, the older Masaki males had freed RyokoÕs duplicate and the Galaxy Police (after a *very* quick feel-up, of course). ÒHands up, Kagato!Ó shouted Kiyone as she leveled a Galaxy Police blaster at the evil scientist. ÒThereÕs no way in hell you can take us all on!Ó ÒEspecially not if a little animal can stump you!Ó added Mihoshi, enjoying it a little too much. ÒI mean, could you believe it? You wouldnÕt expect something that looks and acts like a cute baby pet to be indestructible, would you? Boy, oh, boy! And here I thought the tiny little thing was a goner! Imagine my surprise when you couldnÕt even dent the thing! I mean, really -- Ó Kiyone eventually shut Mihoshi up by stepping on her foot. ÒThe point is,Ó said Washu, Òwhen I said you couldnÕt kill Ryo-ohki, I meant it.Ó ÒWanna bet?Ó snarled Kagato. Immediately, he teleported to the control room of his new spaceship. ÒIÕm going to do what I shouldÕve done in the first place -- finish you all off in one fell swoop! IÕm going to activate the self-destruct sequence!Ó ÒWhich is our cue to get out of here!Ó said Ryoko, when the Tenchi crew heard this dire threat over the monitor. ÒNow, Ryo-ohki!Ó Ryo-ohki began to shape-shift into her own spaceship form. ÒNo, *no,* NOOOO!Ó screamed Kagato, acting like every inch the madman as his glasses came loose and he started hitting his controls like a child having a temper tantrum. ÒYou canÕt do this! I wonÕt let you! This is my revenge!Ó ÒSorry, Kagato,Ó said Ryoko as everyone started filing into the slowly-expanding spaceship *Ryo-ohki*. ÒMaybe next clone!Ó The *Ryo-ohki* smashed out of the other shipÕs hull as she grew. When fully grown, the *Ryo-ohki* flew for Earth with its crew and family, leaving behind a half-destroyed spaceship that became fully-destroyed in an explosion moments later, despite its pilotÕs protests. On a barren planet of ice, in a secret base, a man awoke as his cryogenic unit thawed out. This man crawled out of the tank that had kept him in suspended animation. He remembered everything that happened to him: a death at the hands of one Tenchi Masaki, then another at the hands of his friends. But Kagato was not without friends himself. Rows upon rows of friends, cloned from his own genes, each of which would be thawed to avenge the deaths of his successors. The latest Kagato laughed as he walked down the halls of the warehouse-like chamber. It was a chilling laugh, made even more chilling...because it was the laugh of a dead man. THE END (AuthorÕs Note: OK, so I donÕt know if Ryo-ohki could really survive all the things Kagato did to her. But what was I supposed to do, let Kagato murder a baby? Especially one that darned *cute?* IÕm called Cabbit Lover for a reason, you know.)