In the depths of space, the USS Brian Drummond and its crew, none of whom are owned by me, and are used without permission, please don't sue as I am not making any money on this and it's out of love of the characters, are about to face their greatest challenge to date. Bryan: THEY SCREWED THE FRIGGIN' CONTINUITY. Zechs: Now what's wrong? Ryoko: You know that new show, Enterprise, that we all loved. Bryan: You open a Star Trek series with an operatic piece, not a Rod Steward song! Ryoko: Well, apparently, being the colossal nerd that he is, Bryan went through his Star Trek Encyclopedia and found several plot holes in the series. Bryan: The ship is just a modification of the Akira Class design, for one thing. Vegeta: Well, clearly I'll have to take drastic action. I'm going to mutiny. Bryan: And then there was the Klingons!! Old-school Klingons didn't have the turtle-heads! Ryoko: But can't Bryan just match your power? Vegeta: Well, he could if the equipment were working. Ryoko: Rei? Rei: >shrug< I couldn't take the pointless trivia anymore. Vegeta and Rei force Ryoko, Zechs, and an oblivious Bryan into the brig. Bryan: And that Vulcan chick was too emotive! She came across as condescending, not logical. And the oiling scene was just way gratuitous!!! Vegeta: Well Rei, we're free to run this ship as we see fit. Assemble the new crew, please. Rei: Aye, sir. >From the pages of Marvel Comics, a fellow who needs no introduction, but threatened to obliterate us if we didn't give him one, Doctor Doom! Doom: All shall hail Doom! And from the New Jersey town of Leonardo, Clerks Dante and Randal of the View Askew Universe. Dante: I'm not even supposed to BE here today. Randal: Don't knock it. There's a cute Asian chick here. Rei: I'm fourteen, pervert. Randal: Doesn't mean I can't look. Doom: What lunacy is this, Saiya-jin? Vegeta: You're all going to help me MST lemons and subplant Bryan as the head MSTer of this ship. Dante: I knew I should have stayed at home. RENEGADE MST: THE VEGETA FILES Roll Call. Vegeta: I love the smell of chaos in the morning. Doctor Doom: This is beneath me. Dante: I'm not even supposed to BE here today. Randal: You said that already, 'mo. Jay: Snootchie Bootchies. Silent Bob: ... Doctor Doom: Where did they come from? Vegeta: We can't use any Kevin Smith characters without them showing up eventually. Rei: I'm beginning to wonder if I backed the right horse, here. Roll fic: DBZ Muyo Vegeta: You did that on purpose. Rei: And what if I did? Disclaimer: I do not own any if the Tenchi Muyo or Dragonball Z characters! Doctor Doom: Bah. This writer already reveals his ignorance. That should be "of" and not "if". Rei: And I thought Bryan was bad about that. You know the drill! Jay: Whoah, man, no one said nothing about no f***ing drill. Randal: Hey, man, you just got censored. Vegeta: Zod's rules. We can't be more dirty than the fic. Jay (holding aloft baseball bat): Son of Jarel, you will kneel before Zod! Vegeta: Don't compare me to that Boy Scout wuss. Author's Note: This is my first crossover fanfic, so that speaks for itself! Vegeta: Meaning it's piss poor. Washu's triumphant cackle could be heard throughout the Masaki house. Doom: No scientist worth their salt cackles. >Doom is suddenly turned into a kappa< Vegeta: Oh, yeah. Don't insult Washu while you're here. She's a member of the JEDRI crew, and they have a link to this ship, thanks to Bryan and Glyph being lovers and what not. I mean, they were inseparable during Project A-kon. >Doom reverts to normal< Doom: I know some magic myself. She had just finished another of her inventions. Washu practically ran through the broom closet door. Rei: That might cause splinters. She pushed it open so hard, that it slammed into the wall. Randal (as Washu): I found a way to put the peanut butter and the jelly in the same jar!!! Dante: You know about these people? Randal: Sure. You know, that Sasami chick is really cute. Vegeta: Randal, shut up now. Everyone was watching a t.v. program and nearly jumped out of their seats. Doom(as Ayeka): What do you mean Colby lost Survivor? Rei: You watch that show? Doom: Like Vegeta, I marvel at the stupidity of everyday humanity. "Everyone to my lab! I need to show you my newest creation!" Dante: If it's a vibrator, I'm leaving. Randal (pushing Dante): You're a cigarette. Dante: Stop that. Silent Bob:... Everyone groaned and got up. Tenchi hung back away from Washu. She was still after him to be her guniea pig. Doom: Him. I wouldn't even use him as a lab rat, much less a guinea pig. Vegeta: Guess that's why you're not the number one genius scientist in the universe, huh? Jay: Snoogans! >Jay and Vegeta high five< Doom: Jay, how would you like to volunteer to test my latest virus creation? Jay: I'm not into guys, Vic. Besides, one time, me and Silent Bob were hangin' with Wolverine, and he told me you smelled like axle grease. Randal: Is this a gay thing? Vegeta: No. Randal: You're sure? Vegeta: Y-es. "But it was my favorite show Washu!" Ryoko complained. Vegeta (as Ryoko): Nurse Nanako was just about to do something really interesting. Rei: You're lucky she can't hear you right now. "And I actually got to sit next to Tenchi!" Washu turned to her. "Ryoko?" "What?" Ryoko said grumpily. "Call me mom!" Doom: I see. It must run in the family. >A large Tanooki appears over Doom< Doom: I was referring to the hairstyle. >Tanooki disappears.< Ryoko groaned and continued to follow Washu down to her lab. They all crowded around a big machine. Randal (as Washu): It slices, it dices, and it even makes julienne fries! Dante: You're just the saddest man ever. Randal: Do you ever say anything else? Dante: Well, I'd tell you not to quit your day job, but you don't really do anything there, either. Sasami looked at the machine, then Washu. "Is this why you missed lunch Washu?" Doom: What is food to a genius? Vegeta: In that one issue of Fantastic Four, didn't you have a gourmet chef. Doom: Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day. Randal: You know, he's right. Dante: Yeah. Words of wisdom from Latveria's own dictator. Doom: I prefer the term monarch. Jay: Noinch. Doom: You do realize that that's not a word, right? Jay: >Sniffle< >Silent Bob gives Doom a menacing look< Doom: Of course, the wonder of the English language is that it's adaptable. "I missed lunch? I must've been working so hard that I forgot about! I'm sorry Sasami." Dante: She seems very apologetic. "Don't worry, I saved you some!" Dante: You were right. Sasami is cute. Randal: Pervert. I express an honest expression of admiration towards her youthful spirit, and here you go getting prurient on me. Dante: But I didn't... Jay: Dude, you're a tool. Dante: Randal, how do we know that your interest was innocent. Randal: Be serious. Rei is the one I love. Rei: I'll A.T. Field your ass back to the stone age if you look at me like that again. "Thank you Sasami." "What is this thing Little Washu?" asked Tenchi, clearly wanting to get out of her lab. Vegeta: Smart kid. "This is my newest invention! Its called the InterAnime Transporter, or IAT. Vegeta: I think Bryan might be pissed that Washu copped the design of his Interdimensional Oscillator. Doom: Bryan has an Interdimensional Oscillator? Interesting. Vegeta: Check out "No Need For Multiple Continuities" on file in the TMFFA. Dante: Was that a plug? Randal: That's my guess. It can transport people from other anime here!" Mihoshi stepped forward to take a good look, but true to her nature, she tripped. She grabbed part of the IAT for support, accidentally hitting a big red button............. Vegeta: Hey, this is even the PLOT of NNFMC! Dante: Oh, come on, it's not like it was an original plot then. "Mihoshi!" Washu screamed. But the machine started up anyway. There was a low whirring sound and a flash of light. When it was over, there were six more people in Washu's lab. Vegeta: Has anyone else noticed that there are an inordinate amount of DBZ/Tenchi Crossovers? Silent Bob:... Randal: That's 'cause they're written by the anime posers who saw both shows on Toonami and never really understood the true beauty of Japanese animation like Akira, or Blood the Last Vampire. Dante: Or your collection of weird hentai crap, right Randal? Randal: You just have no appreciation of tentacle sex. Rei: What happened to us not getting dirtier than the fic? Zod: Vegeta threatened to blow my core. Jay: Heh heh. Vegeta: NOT LIKE THAT YOU SICK F***!!! "What happened? Who are you guys?" a tall blonde guy asked. Vegeta: Kakarrotto! Now I can have my revenge! Washu looked up at him in amazement. "It worked! It worked! I am *such* a genius!!!!" Doom: Could she pat herself on the back any harder? Vegeta: Like you have room to talk. Doom: You're no better than me, you know. She ran up to him and smiled her little girl smile. Randal: What? You mean she's not wearing the nurse outfit? Dante: I have to find some new friends. "Hiya! I'm Little Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe! You're cute! Do you want to be my guniea pig?" Jay: Yo, man, what is this guy's obsession with misspelling guinea pig? Rei(surprised): Leave it to the stoner to point out that one. Silent Bob:... Jay: Heck, guinea pigs are almost as good as stealing monkeys. Snoogans. she said, looking him over. "Um................." "These are my friends!" Washu continued. "This is my daughter Ryoko, Jurian Princess Aeka, her little sister Sasami, Kiyone, my personal pain in the neck Mihoshi, grandfather Yosho, his son Noboyuki, Noboyuki's son and my *former* guniea pig Tenchi!" All: (singing) And they all became the Brady Bunch! Tenchi let out a sigh of relief. Former was the word he had wanted to hear. Doom: Washu has substandard standards. Vegeta: No kidding. Asking Kakarotto to be her guinea pig. "Um......hi. My name is Goku. This is my wife Chi-Chi, our son Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo, and *our* scientist Bulma." Vegeta: WHAT?! I get a lousy add-on! Where are the titles! It's Prince Vegeta! Randal: At least he put you before Piccolo. Vegeta: That's not the point. I am the last member of the royal family of Planet Vegeta. I deserve my titles. Jay: Word, man. Get off his back. Youse guys wouldn't like it if I forgot to call you Clerks, would you? Dante: Actually, I have some problems with that title. Washu rushed over to Bulma with gleaming eyes. "You're a scientist? Me too!" "Yeah....but aren't you a little young to be the 'greatest scientific genius in the universe'? What are you? 11? 12?" Vegeta: This coming from a woman who was a scientific genius at the age of 16? Doom: Didn't you and she date? Jay: Dude, you got a piece of that? >Vegeta blasts Jay through a wall.< Vegeta: Show more respect, twit. "No silly! Like I said, I'm the a genius! So I can make myself *appear* young." Doom: That's got to be one hell of a fine line reducer. >A tanooki falls on Doom's head< Doom: I'm not one bit sorry. "Oh.....um....okay...." "Let's go!" Washu said grabbing Bulma's wrist and dragging her off into the lab. Rei: Weren't they just IN the lab? Vegeta: It's not like it was too crowded in there or anything. That lab spans five planets. Ryoko laid her head on Tenchi's shoulder. "Just what I need Tenchi! More women to distract you from me!" Dante: You know, she reminds me of Caitlin Bree. Randal: What girl doesn't? But at the same time, Tenchi was thinking Randal: You were right, Dante. She *is* like Caitlin! Aeka did not like this. "Ryoko! Don't bother Lord Tenchi with your foolishness! Tenchi obviously loves *me*!" Doom: I believe the last movie disproved THAT idea. "No way little princess!" "This is the last time you...you demon! Never again will you have the chance to bug Lord Tenchi!" Ryoko stepped forward until she was just inches from Aeka. "Is that a challenge?" "Yeah!" Tenchi stepped between the two girls. "Ryoko! Aeka! We have guests!" Ryoko walked turned away from Aeka and said "Your time will come Princess." and disappeared. Doom: I hope that's not a segue into a lemon scene. Randal: If it were, Peter Suzuki would write it. "Hmph!" Aeka said snottily, walking out of the lab. "Why don't you go take a walk around the grounds." Tenchi suggested to Chi-Chi. "You could go see the shrine." "Or the onsen!" Noboyuki put in. Jay: Hey, man, she's a married woman, yo. Randal: That wouldn't have stopped Caitlin, would it Dante? Dante: Stop that. Vegeta: Trust me, it's not Chi-chi's style. Actually, that woman scares me sometimes. Chi-Chi gave him a disgusted look and marched out of the lab. Yosho and Noboyuki had to go do their own things at the shrine, so they too, left. Kiyone frowned and slapped her forehead. "I almost forgot! Mihoshi and I have a shift at the diner! See you guys at dinner!" Vegeta: Exit the entire cast of Tenchi Muyo. Sasami watched them leave and then smiled at Gohan. "Do you like video games Gohan?" "Yeah!" "I have a couple upstairs! Wanna go play 'em?" "Sure!" "Okay! Race you!" Randal: Now THAT'S segue into a lemon scene. Vegeta (goes SuperSaiya-jin): Randal, shut up now. Gohan and Sasami raced out of the lab, Ryoki running behind them. Doom: Who's Ryoki? Vegeta: A misspelling of the cabbit's name, I'm sure. This left Tenchi, Goku, Vegeta, and Piccolo. "Let's get out of here!" Tenchi said. "Okay." Goku agreed. "Its creepy in here." Randal: Yeah. I mean, what happened to the broom closet, anyway? Where did it go? "Its creepier when Washu wants you to be her guniea pig! So if I were you, I'd watch out!" They sat down in the living room. "Do those girls always swarm all over you?" Goku asked. "Yeah." "The Ladies Man!" Vegeta: Pfthpt. Doom: And you have room to talk? "I wish I weren't!" "Oh come on! If you had to spend a day with Chi-Chi's nagging, you would be crawling back here!" Vegeta: Who is this guy, and what has he done with Kakarotto? "I can say the same for Ryoko and Aeka's fighting!" "Chi-Chi could be a one woman army." Piccolo said. Vegeta: And when was the Namek so expressive. Randal: Well, there were those issues of DBX. Vegeta: Randal, between your love of hentai and your fascination with hermaphrodite porn, I think you need some serious help. Rei: This is getting out of hand here. Doom: Cease thy prattle, girl. Rei: Oh, is that right? Vegeta: Doom, don't piss off Rei. She can melt us all and suck up our souls if she gets really pissed. Randal: Whoa baby. Sounds like my kind of date. >Randal suddenly dissolves into a puddle of orange goo, and a red dot of >light rises out of the puddle.< Others: EEEEWWWWW!!! Dante: Um, I know he's a pain in the ass, but could I have my friend back? Rei: Fine. >Randal reforms, and the red light goes into him.< Randal: ...O_o Doom: I see what you mean, Vegeta. "Thats why *I* never got hitched." Vegeta said. "The last thing I need is a woman controlling me!" Vegeta: Amen. Doom: (to Rei): I heard that Vegeta likes to make love to girls in a very uncomfortable place. Jay: What, you mean like the back of a Volkswagen? Silent Bob (smile):... "So, you guys fight any good battles?" Tenchi asked, changing the subject. "Here we go." Piccolo muttered under his breath. Goku was nearly out of his seat. "Oh man! Tons! Okay...it was us versus Frieza on Piccolo's home planet Namek........." Goku talked on and on, Vegeta adding his own bits and pieces. A sweatdrop appeared on Tenchi's forehead. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Vegeta: Who was swearing? "So Washu....uh....Little Washu. Explain to me how this works." Rei (as Washu): Well, first you get together two completely incongruous animes, and then... Bulma said pointing to the IAT. "Gladly! The IAT transports others to here. But in your place, time has completely stopped." Doom: That would disrupt the space/time continuum and create a chain reaction that would result in the destruction of both worlds. Jay: Bummer. Vegeta: That's a perfect description of one of Washu's gadgets, alright. "What a machine! Can you *show* me how it works?" Dante: Randal, that sounds like the intro to one of YOUR favorite videos. Randal: Big...purple..angry...mean...There were hundreds of naked Ayanamis, but they were all giggling and smiling... Rei: >innocent smile< He might be that way for awhile. Dante: Hey, you wouldn't want to help me get back at a girl who broke my heart, would you? Doom: What, having her screw a dead man wasn't revenge enough? Dante: I didn't know there was a dead man in the bathroom!!! And she's the one who had sex with him!!! Washu pushed a couple of buttons, explaining what she did as she did it. After the familiar noise and light, a young man appeared on the floor. "Huh?" he asked. "Trunks!" Bulma exclaimed. Vegeta: >sigh< I always have to look after the brat... "Mom? What am I doing here? Here I am talking to someone and next thing I know, I'm here!" Bulma explained to Trunks about where he was, what happened, and the people who lived here. Doom: Good thing time stopped on his side, because I don't know if Trunks could afford to wait a few years for that speech otherwise. "Did you say lots of girls?" "Yeah!" Vegeta: Oh, come off it! The boy is many things, but he's not hung up on girls. Jay: Heh. Your son kicked your ass in that one episode. Vegeta: He got his later. Washu smiled. "I have just the girl for you.....on one condition.........." "Which is?" "You call me Little Washu!" Vegeta: Forget that she's twenty-thousand years old. "Easy enough!" Washu closed her eyes and called to Ryoko through their mind link, telling her of a handsome young man who wanted to me her. Vegeta: WHAT?! I refuse! I put my foot down right now! No way in HFIL is any son of mine dating that harpy! Doom: Oh, that's right. You know her on a personal level, don't you? Dante: This ought to make for a good story. Vegeta: Yes, but it's a classified story, so if I tell you, I'll have already killed you. Dante: Forget I said anything. Randal: Truth is defined by our acceptance of other people's definitions of ourselves. Rei: >chuckling< Fantasize about me, will you, fanboy? Randal: Whoa. That was trippy. Remind me never to do any of Jay's weed, man. Jay: Heck, man, weed won't even do that to you. Rei: How did you recover? Randal: I've seen every bad movie ever made. You're head trip was nothing in comparison. Sure enough, Ryoko appeared, startling Trunks. Taking one look at him, she forgot the love she once had for Tenchi. Vegeta: And thus, in one sentence, the writer has managed to solve a problem that plagued a whole series. Doom: Boy, is this guy pretentious or what? Jay: Snoogans. Trunks stared right back at her. He had never seen anything more beautiful. Vegeta: Well, considering that the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen was Android 18... Rei: I'm telling Ryoko you said that. He looked deep into her golden eyes. "You must be Ryoko." he said awkwardly. "Yeah." "You're very beautiful." "She gets that from me!" Washu insisted. Doom: Well, her genetic engineering, anyway. Ryoko rolled her eyes and walked over to Trunks. "Whaddya say we blow this popsicle stand?" Jay: Can she talk about blowing popsicles, man? "I'm with you!" !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Vegeta: Someone has a severe case of potty mouth. Chi-Chi had finished looking at the cave where Ryoko had been imprisoned. She wondered about what was or had been behind the iron gates. Vegeta: Heck, I know her, and I still wonder. She stood for awhile, pondering, but then decided to go to the onsen. It took her awhile to find it, but eventually she did. She walked inside and found Aeka. "Hello Princess Aeka." "Hello. How is your stay going." Rei(as Aeka): As a Princess of Jurai, I feel that I am free of having to end my interrogative statements with a question mark. "Wonderful. Its peaceful here." Chi-Chi said Vegeta: So relaxed that she forgot the apostrophe in "it's". sliding into the water. "I see you like Tenchi." All: Boy, is it that obvious? "Very much Miss Chi-Chi." "He looks like he woud make a good husband." Doom: He might even help Chi-Chi find the missing "l" in that statement. "Yes.....what is it like to have a husband?" "With Goku, it can be wonderful, but scary. Vegeta(as Chi-Chi): You never know when he'll eat you out of house and home. He is so sweet, but then he drags Gohan off to some battle. Vegeta: There's hope for you yet, Kakarotto. He doesn't realize that I'm scared to death of those battles! I'm afraid one day he won't come home!" Vegeta: I know something you don't know... Aeka gave Chi-Chi a comforting smile. "There has been times when Lord Tenchi has fought too. I know how scary it is thinking the one you love could die." Jay: We all gotta go sometime, man. Snootch to the nooch. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Doom: Seriously, the profanity around here is getting out of hand. Sasami laughed in triumph as she defeated Gohan for the tenth time. Vegeta: The boy is losing to a pig tailed girl with a carrot on her apron. This is a sad day for the Saiya-jin race. "I never knew a person who could beat me at this game!" Gohan mused. Sasami smiled and checked her watch. "I'd love to win more Gohan, but I have dinner to cook." "Thats okay Sasami. I'll go and keep you company." Silent Bob: You know, there's lots of fine women in the world, but most of them don't cook dinner for you. All but Jay: O_O!!! Doom: It talks! Jay: Tubby here always does this. He thinks that if he keeps quiet, then when he does speak, it'll sound real profound or somethin'. The two ran down to the kitchen, passing Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta, and Tenchi in a blur. Vegeta: There's no way they were moving that fast. Piccolo was snoring away, and Vegeta had lost interest, but Goku continued on, recounting every detail of every fight. Vegeta: I would never lose interest in a fight story. Doom: Yes. He tells all of his so often at the SuperVillain conference that it's a wonder any of us can get a word in edgewise. Vegeta: You sayin' I talk too much? Doom: Perish the thought. Goku stopped talking to watch Sasami and Gohan. "Awwww!" Goku said laughing. "The little guy's in love!" Vegeta: Insulin, stat! Rei: If that were any sweeter, we'd all need to see a dentist. Jay: Is Gohan gonna get some? Doom: Never talk that way about Sasami, you pot infested delinquent. "Females," Vegeta sneered. "The number one weakness!" Vegeta: Not true. Mercy is the number one weakness. Females are number two. Rei: You're all heart, Vegeta. "You said it!" Tenchi agreed. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Jay: Whoah, man. Even I don't get that profane. "Dinnertime!" Sasamia called awhile later. Randal: Who? Vegeta: Typo. Kiyone and Mihoshi entered the house, just as everyone was crowding around the table. Kiyone leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Dante: That green hair is actually kind of pretty. Randal: Don't tell me you've got a Kiyone fixation. Ayeka all the way, man. Dante: I can't believe we've gotten into a discussion about which cast member is the most attractive to date. Doom: Personally, I'm rather taken by Kasumi Tendo, but that's another story. Rei: You're a sick man, Doom. Doom: What?! Randal: Kasumi fetish, huh? You like it when they're subservient? Doom: It's nothing like that!! Vegeta: Hey, Rei, now he sounds like Shinji. Rei: You leave Shin-chan out of your perversions, creep. "I'm so exhausted!" she said wearily. "Hard day Kiyone?" Sasami asked. Vegeta: Of course it was! Mihoshi was there. "Yeah." Tenchi looked over to Washu. "Um......Little Washu." "Yes?" "How are we going to fit everyone at this table?" Randal: I had the same problem at a wake once. I just sort of moved the casket... Washu gave him a big grin. "Just leave it to the greatest scientific genius in the universe!" Vegeta: Yes. Let's. Her Washu-bots appeared on her shoulders. "Leave it to Washu!" A said. "She's a genius!" B exclaimed. Rei: I thought I clubbed those things with a hefty pillow. Jay: They're ba-ack. Snoogans. Washu gave Bulma a friendly wink Randal: Are we sure it was just a friendly wink? Dante: What IS your fascination with gay jokes? Randal: Oh, so you're saying I have a gay sense of humor. Dante: NO! I'm saying that your humor consists in and of making references to or about people who are homosexual! I'm not saying that your sense of humor is lousy. Well, I am saying that your sense of humor is lousy, but it's not a passive/aggressive gay bashing thing like that Bankie guy you know. Doom: That was a long non-sequitar. as her holo computer appeared in front of her. She punched a few keys and the table disappeared and was replaced by a new, longer one that was already set. Vegeta: Is that Washu's way of saying that she finds the surroundings inadequate? Everyone sat down as Sasami brought the food over. Soon, everyone was talking to everyone else, causing the room to be filled with joyful chatter. Randal: Sorry to hear that, Vegeta. Vegeta >shrug<: I've had to deal with more trying situations. You should try sitting through a Tank Cop lemon. Randal: What? T.C. posts here? Dante: Tell me you're not a fan. Washu would type a little on her holo computer, say something, and then join the conversation. "Washu..." Tenchi began. "Ah ah ah! *Little* Washu" Washu interuppted. Doom: In so doing, she dropped an "r" and picked up and extra "p". "Um....Little Washu, what are you doing?" Doom (Washu as Brain.): The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world. Rei: What's sad is, I can see Washu doing that. >Rei is suddenly zapped by a static charge.< Rei: Watch it, genius! I can turn you into jello too, y'know. "I'm creating rooms for our guests to stay in." Tenchi nodded. After dinner, Washu showed them the extra rooms. "Am I a *genius* or what?!" All: What. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Randal: Wow. That's even worse than what comes out of your mouth, Jay. Jay: No joke, man. I mean, it's one thing to cuss, but to do it so regularly, that's just f***ing stupid. Washu sighed. For the past week, the Masaki house had been peaceful. For once, no fights. Vegeta: I've died and gone to HFIL all over again. She was working alongside Bulma. They both knew that the two groups wouldn't be able to stay together forever, Rei: Yeah, it was only a matter of time before Vegeta started a fight over bathroom time. Vegeta: Oh, like you have room to talk. What the hell do you do in there that takes a full hour, anyway. Rei: Be nice to me or I'll tell you. Dante: NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE NO!!!! Doom: Even Doom shudders at the thought of discussions on feminine hygiene. but they wished they could. So they worked on new inventions to keep their minds off their worries. Dante: Please, not vibrators. Please, not vibrators. Randal: For a guy who says he likes it clean, you're mentioning sex toys an awful lot, Dante. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Ryoko and Trunks walked into the house. Ryoko was excited. Vegeta: You could tell, because her nipples were visible through her shirt. >A giant rock beans Vegeta in the head. A note is attached. Jay reads it >aloud.< Jay: "That's my daughter you're talking about." Vegeta >Black eye forming< :I dare you to come out here and do that, Washu! Her excitement flooded into Washu's head through their mind link, causing her to run up to Ryoko. Rei (as Washu): So, how is he in the sack? >Rei is zapped by Vegeta< Vegeta: That's my SON you're talking about. "Ryoko! You can't be this excited and not tell me why!" "First you have to get everyone in here! Especially Aeka, heh heh." "Oh come on! Tell me tell me tell me!" "You can wait." Rei: Yeah, but she doesn't have to. "Oh okay." Washu said disappointedly. Her holo computer appeared and she typed half heartedly. Everyone appeared. looking confused. "All easy for the greatest scientific genius in the universe." Doom: Bah. This continuous self-praise bores Doom. "Oh....its just Washu." Kiyone said as the Washu-bots appeared on Washu's shoulders wearing little pink cheerleading outfits. Randal: Hey, Rei, could I see you in one of those outfits. Rei: Sure. Right after I melt you again. Randal: Nevermind. "Go Washu, go Washu! You're a genius, you're a genius........" the sang. Vegeta: And I hadn't blasted them to atoms yet? Did the writer forget that I AM in this crossover? Washu danced a little to their song, but turned immediatly serious, Doom: So much so that she misspelled immediately. remembering Ryoko's news. "What are we here for?" Tenchi asked. Rei: (as Washu): You're probably all wondering why I brought you here. Jay: Yeah, man. Why? Rei: (as Washu): It's quite simple really. I realized that this crossover stinks, and I'm calling it all off, now. "Ryoko has some news." Washu explained. "What is it Ryoko?" Ryoko smiled at Trunks. "We're in love!" Trunks said. "And we're getting married." Ryoko added. Vegeta: That's it. The boy's disinherited. Randal: Yeah, because as your son, he has soooo much to look forward to when it's time to rule the Saiya-jin empire. Vegeta: Mock my people's plight again, and I'll serve you as chop suey. Everyone was silent, then everything started at once. Washu and Bulma rushed up to congratulate their children. Doom (as Washu): You're both bigger idiots than I imagined! Congrats! Tenchi silently thanked Trunks. Mihoshi started to sing about a wedding. Aeka stood up and laughed her high-pitched laugh. >All cover ears< Doom: If that noise weren't so hellish, I'd consider using it as a weapon. "Now Tenchi is mine!" Vegeta looked to Tenchi. "Don't fall in love man. It'll be your worst mistake!" Vegeta: No. His worst mistake was in not hanging himself the minute he freed that cyan-haired wench! Aeka looked at Vegeta angrily. "Its too late Vegeta! Tenchi already *does* love me, don't you Tenchi?" "Um............" Ryoko looked from Bulma to Washu and shuddered. They were already discussing some kind of invention that would make wedding planning easier. Vegeta: Is it called a day planner? Mihoshi yawned and said "I'm sleepy! Can we go to bed now?" No one heard her. Every one was engaged in watching Aeka and Vegeta trying to outdo eachother. "Have *you* ever fallen in love Vegeta?" "Yeah." "You have?" "Yeah!" "What happened?" Vegeta jerked his thumb in Trunks' direction. "Kids." Vegeta: Amen, Reverend. Doom: I don't have that problem. Aeka smirked. "Heh heh! Almighty Vegeta can't handle the pitter patter of little feet!" The *whole* gang was now watching the two. They all burst out laughing at Aeka's wit. Vegeta: What wit? Watching Aeka and Ryoko fight was annoying, but watching these two fight was just plain ol' amusing! Vegeta: Well, it's a bit one sided, but I might take some pleasure in it. "What do *you* know about kids you nitwit?" "Nitwit?! Azaka......Kamidake........." The two guardians appeared beside her. Vegeta: Oh, goodie. It's been ages since I cut firewood. Jay: Snoogans. "Aeka, not in the living room!" Tenchi yelled. "Everyone duck!" Washu exclaimed. Everyone got on the floor and covered their heads. They weren't stupid. They knew what was coming. Vegeta: What? It's not like I'd use the Big Bang Attack or the Final Flash in the house? "Yes Miss Aeka?" Kamidake asked. "Attack him!" Aeka ordered. "Yes Ma'am." The two guardians powered up. Vegeta just smiled. "All right! Now were talking! Gaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccc Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn!" Vegeta: See. I used the Garlic gun. Rei: Big improvement. Trunks stepped between Aeka and Vegeta. "Dad!" he shouted. "Don't you *ever* hit a girl!" Rei: Why not? He ripped Android 18 to bits himself. Vegeta stopped his blast and Aeka stopped the guardians. Vegeta turned to Aeka. "You're lucky this time princess!" he sneered. "I think its time we got to bed." Bulma said softly. Everyone else agreed and hurried out of the room. Dante: Vegeta, have you ever considered anger management? Vegeta: Yes. >Hits Dante, who flies across the room< See. I feel much better now. Randal: What sort of anger management is that? Vegeta: My therapist says it's not healthy to bottle up my emotions. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() A few days later, Washu and Bulma were standing in front of Ryoko and Trunks with a large book in their hands. "This is our invention to help you plan the wedding! With this, you'll be able to get married sooner!" "What is it?" Trunks asked. "Its our Do-It-Yourself-Wedding-Made-Easy-Book." Washu explained. Doom: That will NEVER work. Rei: I heard that. You can't plan a wedding from a book. "With this book you can pick a time, date, and place for your wedding, design your own decorations, dresses and tuxes, pick a preacher, order food, everything! Instead of it taking months to plan the wedding, you can plan it within a day!" Rei: Where's the fun in that? "Wow thanks guys!" Ryoko exclaimed. "Yeah!" Trunks agreed. "We won't have to wait to be married!" Washu smiled and looked to Ryoko. "What is it Washu?" "Ryoko! For crying out loud, CALL ME MOM!" Vegeta: That'll happen. "Okay okay!" Washu looked at Bulma. "They grow up so fast!" "They do." Bulma agreed. Doom: What is this drivel? Silent Bob: >Shrug< !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() A month later, Washu cried silently as Ryoko walked up the aisle in her stunning dress. Trunks stood proudly, watching her. Washu was Ryoko's Best Maid, which pleased her. Mihoshi, Kiyone, and even Aeka were also Bride's Maids. Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo were Trunks' Best Men. Vegeta: Oh, now that's just an insult. I would NEVER serve as a best man. The couple said there vows, Rei: Shouldn't that be "their" vows? Vegeta: Oh, yeah , weren't you married in that one MST we did? Rei: SHUT UP! and finally, sealed the deal with a kiss. Dante: "Sealed the deal"? THAT'S romantic. Washu watched sadly as the limo drove off. She and Bulma had created a large home for the happy couple to live in as a wedding present. It was in the woods near the Masaki home. At least her daughter would be close.....but it would never be the same................ Doom: Why? Did the mental images from Ryoko of Trunks boinking her daughter get to her? Rei: 0_o "Boinking?" Randal: There's something inherently wrong with that phrase coming from you, Vic. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Everyone gathered together in Washu's lab to see the guests off. Washu walked up to Bulma. "Here Bulma. These are for you." A pair of Bulma-bots took their places on her shoulders. Vegeta: ACK!!!! "Bulma is the greatest!" A said. "She is the best!" B agreed. Doom: >patting Vegeta's shoulder< There are things none of us are proud of. "Come visit anytime." Tenchi said laughing. Washu waved sadly and pressed a button on the IAT. Trunks waved his goodbye as the six people disappeared. Silent Bob: That was trippy. !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*() Epilogue................ Goku, Vegeta, Chi-Chi, Bulma, Gohan, and Piccolo all returned to their own places. They explained Trunks' disappearance. But they all returned to visit once a month. Dante: I'm confused. Didn't they say time stopped on the DBZ side when they went to the Tenchi side? Randal (as Darth Vader): If you only knew the power of the Tenchi side... >The others pelt Randal with popcorn< Aeka and Tenchi soon fell in love and were married. Gohan and Sasami were in love too, but waited for awhile before they got married. (Teehee) Jay: Awww. How sweet. Aeka convinced Chi-Chi to talk to Goku about her fears. She did and Goku completely understood. Vegeta: Kakarrotto? Understand? PHFTPT!!! Everything had been peaceful since the guests had come to stay with them. And it still was. Washu had a feeling it would be peaceful for a loooooooooooonnnnnng time.................... Doom: Booooooring. THE END Like I said, this is my first crossover fic! If you have any questions or comments or anything, let me know at iamabrat@voyager.net Thanks! Doom: Thank God it's over. There's a sudden jolt throughout the ship. All are thrown to the floor. Vegeta: Zod, what was that? Zod: A photon torpedo struck the shields. Shields are down by 35%. Doom: Source of the torpedo? Zod: Unknown. The vessel is not on my scanners. Vegeta (grim) : I know. It's the JEDRI. Their using their cloaking device. ON BOARD THE JEDRI: Glyph: Hang on, Bryan-kun. We're coming. To be continued...