An MST by Steve Email: psychosteve999@yahoo.com All the characters depicted in this story are of my own creation with the following exceptions: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: Psychotic killer created by the one and only Jhonen Vasquez. Crow T. Robot: That lovable golden robot from the "MST3K" TV show. These are my original Characters: Sharrin Bowman: An oppressed fifteen-year-old goth/skater female featured in a book I wrote entitled "Frogs 2: Toads". Psycho Steve: Pretty much a self insertion into the story. Psycho Steve is one of the nicknames I am known under. Others include Evil Steve,Whisper, and White Steve. Till: A seven-foot-tall German Dragon named after Rammstein's vocalist. This Character is featured in a sort of Quentin Tarintino meets Sonic the Hedgehog trilogy my step-brother Andy and I came up with. Nastica: Till's girlfriend who appears in the third installment of the trilogy. Originally a dragon as well (a Russian one for a particualr reason) was later transformed into an American 100% human goth chick. Hey, I have a fetish for gothic girls, sue me. These six brave souls have been forced to view really bad fanfics by satanic stringbeans that came out of hell after Till agreed to sell his soul to them for a gallon of vodka. Afterwards realizing what a stupid thing he had done Till would not give the stringbeans his soul. The stringbeans made a compromise, however. If he and his friends viewed one bad fanfic a day they would not torture and kill all of them. The stringbeans have set up a movie theater inside the dwelling of the six unfortunate souls. Only fanfics can be viewed in this theater, however. A certain time every day they will all be forced into the theater to view the fic of the day. Resistance to comply will result in immediate death. So begins the MST. The whole gang sits in the living room watching Tales from the Hood on TV. TILL: Man, this movie is so fuckin' weird man. SHARRIN: (laughs) You call this weird? TILL: What would you call it? SHARRIN: Funny. Pink Floyd's the Wall was hands down the weirdest movie I've ever seen. STEVE: That is hard to top in terms of weirdness. CROW: I've seen some pretty weird movies in my time, especially during my time up in the SOL. JOHNNY: What do you think the weirdest one you saw was? CROW: Wow, it's hard to say, there's so many. Well, one of the stupidest ones I've ever seen was Werewolf. STEVE: Oh God, I HATE that fucking movie. I rented it once, having been fooled by the cool cover, and it was just...horrible. CROW: And what the hell was up with that terrible accent Natile had? STEVE: Oh man, I wanted to hit her so hard... The voice of a satanic stringbean is heard. SATANIC STRINGBEAN: Report to the theater now for todays fanfic entitled "Tenchi the Thug". Everyone groans in displeasment and head over to the theater. Tenchi the Thug By AAA-PhuckNut (viperz00@winfire.com) Disclaimer: This fic contains sex and stuff so you have to be 18+ to read it. Also, all characters protrayed in this fic are owned by Pioneer and AIC so I make no claims to the characters. _______________________________________________________________________ Washu had been in her lab for a week straight, working on her newest, greatest invention she had made yet! Of course, no one else knew what she was working on though...... "At last! My latest invention is now complete!" yelled a very happy Washu. "My invention is so perfect! It can totally alter the personalty of a person in seconds!! I can't wait to test it out!" Washu chimed very happily, yet devilishly. Everyone else in the household had been going on with their lives like normal, except they had been wondering what Washu was up to all that time she was in her lab. All of the girls and Tenchi, minus Washu, were just sitting around in the living room, when Tenchi asked, "Does anyone have any clue as to what Washu is working on now??" "Its funny you ask that Tenchi." said Washu, which to everyones suprise had snuck up on them just before Tenchi asked his question. "Well, actually, I haven't created anything new, I was just cleaning up my entire lab a bit." said Washu. "You took a whole week to just clean your lab?!" said Tenchi. "Well my lab does expand over the size of multiple planets!" said Washu proudly. "Oh, I see your point." said Tenchi. Everyone else just didnt really give a damn at all anyways and had already left to just finish the rest of their day. Washu returned to her lab to admire her creation. "Well, Tenchi will be the perfect subject for my experiment! And the best part is I can do it to him while he sleeps! That way I wont have to lure him down here and into a trap." said Washu quietly to herself. Later that night, Ayeka and Sasami were already sleeping, Yosho was at his shrine, Ryo-okie was sleeping on the living room floor, Washu was in her lab, Kiyone and Mihoshi were out on patrol and weren't due back for at least a week, Noboyuki was busy watching his porno flicks inside his bedroom, and the only people still moving about were Ryoko and Tenchi. "Tenchiiiiii!" said a very horny Ryoko as she glomped onto Tenchi. "Please Ryoko, im really not in the mood to screw around right now, I want to get some sleep." said an angry Tenchi. Ryoko pouted a bit then said, "Fine Tenchi, but just you wait till morning! I'll have you then!" Then Ryoko phased away, and Tenchi headed to his bedroom mumbling to himself, "Gee, I wonder what Ryoko will try to do to me tomorrow morning" said Tenchi in a sarcastic tone of voice. After Tenchi retired to his room, he had fallen asleep pretty quickly, the devilish little red haired Washu stepped out of her lab snickering to herself as she head up the stairs towards Tenchi's bedroom. She stepped into his bedroom and quitely approached his bed, "Now lets see what type of personality I should give Tenchi." Washu whispered to herself. "Hmmm... I need to give him one that would be very easy to notice, so I will know if it worked or not.... I got it!" Washu whispered very enthusiastically this time. "The classic American Detroit Thug Personallity! aka: ADTP" Washu snickered under her breath. And with a few clicks Washu's invention was ready to go, she aimed and fired, and then nothing happend, Washu was very puzzled, "Wasnt it supposed to make a sound or something?" Washu asked herself. "I guess it didn't work... DAMN! and all that hard work too!!" Washu said that so loud it almost woke Tenchi up. Quickly Washu left Tenchi's room and returned to her lab, very angry at what had happend. _______________________________________________________________________ The morning soon arrived and the sunlight shone in through Tenchi's window. A groggy Tenchi awoke only to be greeted a split second later by a naked Ryoko landing on top of the blanket he was under and locking into a deep kiss with him, "MMMMPPHHHH" moaned Tenchi. "Im sorry, were you trying to say something?" asked Ryoko very seductively. "DAMN BITCH! you is one fine ass hoe!" beamed Tenchi. Ryoko just sat there stunned at what Tenchi just said, that is untill Tenchi ripped off his blanket showing Ryoko his naked body and his growing hard on. Tenchi just grabbed ahold of Ryoko and slammed his cock into her pussy, "Ooooh Tenchi, Im so suprised!" Ryoko managed to choke out. "Whose yo daddy! whose yo daddy!" said Tenchi as he rammed her harder and harder. Ryoko was in total bliss as Tenchi fucked her, sending her into orgasm after orgasm. Tenchi blew his load into her, then set her down in the bed next to him and got up to get dressed, Ryoko just sat there dazed in mix of happy and puzzled emotions. Tenchi headed down the stairs and ran into Ayeka on the way, "Tenchi are you alright?? I heard some loud noises and came up to check and see if you were ok!" said a very worried Ayeka. "Damn girl! you is one white ass cracka!" said Tenchi. "E...x..cuse me?" Ayeka stammered out. "All yo white folk be hatin up on ma skin color, damn crackas." Tenchi murmured as he walked passed a dazed Ayeka. Tenchi proceeded to the kitchen where he was greeted by a wonderful smell, "What be cookin? it betta be KFC and biscuits and gravy or i gunna bust out ma nine and blast someones ass." Tenchi said to Sasami as he walked into the kitchen. "Wwwhat?" Sasami asked. "y'all herd what i be sayin hoe!" Tenchi snapped back. Sasami started cry at the cruel things Tenchi had said, "Shut yo fuckin mouth biatch!" screamed Tenchi. Then when Tenchi noticed there wasnt any KFC or biscuits and gravy, he got very angry and pulled out his glock nine, (no gangsta should ever be without it! I guess thats why he has one) "THATS IT MUTHA FUCKA!!!! YOU GOIN DOWN BIATCH!" screamed Tenchi, as he proceeded to blast her ass into the next millenium, making a humping motion every time he fired a shot. "Straight up Detroit husslin!" beamed a proud Tenchi. Then Tenchi proceeded to steal her shoes, and just as Tenchi was stuffing Sasami's body into a cabinent, Ayeka came running into the kitchen after hearing the loud bangs. Ayeka was totaly shocked at what she saw next, a pool of blood on the floor, and Tenchi shoving Sasami's corpse into the cabinent. "OH MY GOD! Tenchi what have you done!!!!!" yelled Ayeka. "Damn not yo cracka ass again! well i cant be lettin yo go to da cops bout dis one..." said Tenchi. Tenchi then loaded a new clip into his trusty gun, and before Ayeka even had the chance to run, Tenchi pulled up his gun and held it sideways, in true ghetto fashion, and pumped her white ass with a clip load of lead. "Aint no hoes gonna be sendin me to da slamma again!" said Tenchi as he repeatedly shot her lifeless body. Tenchi then headed out of the house and up stairs towards the shrine. "YO, anyone home?" Tenchi said as he approached the shrine. Yosho stepped out of the shrine and saw Tenchi, "Ahh Tenchi you are here pretty early" said Yosho. "Yo dawg wazzup?" asked Tenchi. After hearing what Tenchi just said, Yosho knew it was time to show his true form. A bright light flashed over Yosho and when the light went away, all that remained was a black thug. "Wutup mah nigga!" said Yosho. "Ma brutha! long time no see dawg!" said Tenchi. "Yo got yous a crack pipe? i gots sum crack rock in here." said Yosho. Tenchi then pulled out a crack pipe from his pocket and him and Yosho went into the shrine and smoked some crack, like the crack heads they are. "Yo nigga, lets blow this joint." said Tenchi. "I hear ya dogg." said a wacked out Yosho. Yosho then pressed a button on a statue, and a large garage door opened and a lowered purple 1977 LTD rolled out, it was one phat ride, sittin on gold spokes, hydraulics, and one phat ass sound system to boot. "Check out ma pimpin ride, nigga." said Yosho. "Damn dawg, that bein one phat ride." said Tenchi. Tenchi hopped into the driver seat, and Yosho hopped in the back and proceeded to lock and load his guns to do some drive by's in Tokyo. Just as Tenchi was about to drive away he said, "Shit dawg, fuck, i needs ta go pick up mah hoe" Tenchi hopped out of the car and ran to his bedroom where a still stunned Ryoko lay on his bed, Tenchi grabbed Ryoko's arm, which startled Ryoko, and head for the door, "Les go bitch, we be blowin dis joint!" blared Tenchi. Ryoko just nodded and followed along and they hopped into the car. Washu came out of her lab and headed towards the kitchen, when she arrived she screamed in horror as she saw Ayeka's bullet ridden corpse lying on the floor. Washu immediatly headed out the front door only to be confronted by Kiyone and Mihoshi, "Hi Washu! We are home a little early because Kiyone said we couldnt afford anymore food!" said a very enthusiastic Mihoshi. "Mihoshi, will you shutup!!" screamed Kiyone. "Oh my god! We have terrible news..." Washu said, but was cut short by a strange rumbling. "That rumbling is very strange... its too rythmic to be an explosion." Washu said, apparently forgetting about the news she was going to say to Kiyone and Mihoshi. Kiyone was about to reply, when all of the sudden a purple LTD came speeding around the corner, with the bass from its music rattling everything around. The LTD came speeding for them, and just as it was coming very close to them, Washu screamed, "SHIT!! GET THE FUCK DOWN!!" But it was too late, the LTD speed by and Yosho stuck his AK-47 out the window and loaded Washu, Kiyone, and Mihoshi with hot steaming lead. As Tenchi drove away, Ryoko gave him head while he was driving, and Yosho said, "I smoked those cracka asses!!!" Then the effects of the personality device on Tenchi wore off, and he didn't know where the hell he was, and he felt something really moist rubbing up and down his penis, and he looked down to see Ryoko giving him one sweet blow job, Tenchi couldn't hold himself any longer and he cummed into her mouth as he let out a sigh of relief, but with all this action going on, Tenchi forgot that he was driving and they drove off a cliff screaming all the way down untill they crashed onto the ground and their car promptly exploded, incinerating all 3 of them. _______________________________________________________________________ All that remained was Noboyuki and Ryo-okie. Without Sasami around to cook the food, Noboyuki became very hungry and ate Ryo-okie raw. Then Noboyuki went to jackoff to some porn, he jacked off to hard and his penis ripped off. Seeing that he no longer had a penis, Noboyuki knew there was no more point to life, so he promptly killed himself. _______________________________________________________________________ THE END Wasnt that a very happy story? Well I hope you had a good laugh, cause I sure did writing it. Tell me what you think of my first FanFic and email me at: viperz00@winfire.com Note: the 00 in viperz00 are zero's not o's Everyone else follows soon. (Stinger) "DAMN BITCH! you is one fine ass hoe!" beamed Tenchi.