Ismaphael The Fallen Archangel Shinji The 10 o'Clock Assassin The original fic is done by Ismaphael The Fallen Archangel. Okay has been given from him to Shinji Ikari the 10 o'Clock Assassin. This fic is a "Second Person" view. So all copyright is da-da-dah; being po' people. We like your shows, Pioneer. Really. ^_^ ************ No Need For A Passive Tenchi (10 o'Clock's Version) ************ After a great feat of saving my computer from a major crash; I get a message on my e-mail telling me to meet him [somewhere. I ain't tellin']. Said message was from Ismaphael so I figured; "What the hey. I need a good laugh just about now. :b" When I got there, I saw a man is standing in the spotlight. He's a striking facsimile of Tenchi Misaki; except for a few things... Tenchi's sporting a black suit with a long crimson cloak. In his hand is a chainsaw made out of pure light. And the look on his face is reminiscent of Ryuji Yamazaki when someone had the worst luck of pissing him off. Now, as myself, I dressed casually for the occasion: Black suit pants, white dress shirt with black vest, glasses which make me look like Malcolm X except for the annoying "California" hat. I guess I was ill-prepared for a mass-murderin'. Maybe a funeral? Tenchi: Ahhhh, welcome. You must be the infamous 10 o'Clock Assassin. Shinji: [Nervous as hell.] And you... Must be one of my adoring anti-fans. ^_^;; Tenchi: Now why would you say that? Especially since I've called you in to witness a great moment in anime history. Shinji: Hideaki Anno's gonna die? Tenchi: That's for later. As of now, I SHALL NO LONGER BE A PASSIVE CHARACTER IN MY OWN SERIES!!!!! Shinji: Okay... You're going to screw one of those space-hippies! Tenchi: Mind outta the gutter, Assassin! Allow me to demonstrate to you... Tenchi then slices a hole in the space time continuum with his Light Hawk Chainsaw (tm) and jumps in it. He reappears in the Masaki kitchen as Ryoko, Aeka, and Washu are discussing how to save him from Haruna, the latest "drooling Pioneer chick that wants to get it on with Tenchi." Tenchi: Well, I can't disturb them, however the viewers can see me in the background. He then notices Ryo-Ouki, happily munching on a carrot. He grins. As the ladies talk on the screen, Tenchi can be seen in the background hacking the poor cabbit to a bloody mass with an axe. Each time he strikes, a geiser of blood hits the ceiling. When the talk scene is over, he goes trough his portal again. Tenchi: Well, how's that? Shinji: What the heck?! You just funeralized a cute little cabbit! Waitaminute... What about them Mass thingies? Tenchi: The movies are now based on the TV series. So there _are_ no Mass herein. I'm not done yet, however... He warps again, reappearing in the dimension of Haruna's. He then starts randomly hacking down people left and right. Soon, all the city is painted in red, Tenchi's covered in blood, and there isn't anyone left to kill. Tenchi grins and phases back. Tenchi: Well how's that? Shinji: -_-; Sloppy, a waste of good people, and besides; Haruna's just gonna repair it all with her powers anyway. Now Tenchi seems peeved (for lack of a better term). He glares at me for a moment... Shinji: What've you got against Tenchi Muyo anyway? Tenchi: Wha' do you mean by that? It's a free world; we all have our disagreements. Mr. "I'll Kill You, Anno." Seeing how pointless it is to start an argument on which person should be killed, I decided against it. Tenchi's smirk widens as he warps to the outside of the Masaki house. He then walks right trough the door. Princess Aeka is the first to see him. Aeka: Lord Tenchi! You are safe, I was so worried! Without a word, he stabs her in the gut, and pulls upward, slicing her in half. What's left of her falls to the ground spraying blood everywhere. Hearing that Tenchi was back, Ryoko phases into the room. Ryoko: Welcome back Ten...chi... Before she has time react, he slices her head off, empties it, and uses it as a flower pot. Tenchi grins and looks at you. Tenchi: Two down, five to go. He knocks on Washuu's lab door, and pulls a 45 magnum from out of nowhere. The moment she opens the door, he blasts her head off. He then pulls out a nuclear bomb from out of the same nowhere and throws it into her lab. My better judgement has me ducking behind a couch. But it seems that it was an over reaction since all I heard was a "poof." I looked up to see that the "door" to Washuu's lab was not there anymore. My shock hinders the realization that Sasami's staring right at me from the kitchen. Sasami: You must be Tenchi's new friend. What's going on? I start to notice a blue-haired girl staring at me. Sasami starts to notice two chopped up bodies on the floor. For some reason I seemed to be stuck in a time-freeze. But I then saw a flash of light along the girl's neck. It was Tenchi; recreating that scene in "Ninja Scroll" where Jubei was cutting the head off of his enemy Gema. After I regain my senses, the first visual was of Tenchi using the phone and then hanging up. Shinji: You'd better not be ordering pizza. Tenchi: I was just talking with the Galaxy Police, I used my status as prince of Jurai to make sure Kiyone never gets any other partner than Mihoshi. Shinji: [Staring at him coldly...] That. My friend. I just PURE EVIL. Tenchi: Well, they should learn the news any moment now. >From upstairs, a gun can be heard going off. Mihoshi: Kiyone! NOOOOOOOO! Another gun shot can be heard. Tenchi: You see, unable to live with being stuck with Mihoshi forever, Kiyone killed herself. Unable to live without Kiyone, Mihoshi blew her own head off as well. Shinji: But these two ladies are the very cannon-fodder of great Tenchi Muyo Lemons everywhere! It's none of my business what you have against the show; but you've taken this a bit too far! Tenchi: SOOO-RRYYYYY!! Yosho: What's going on here?! Yosho stands in the doorway, his boken in hand, staring at the carnage. Shinji: Now for him; he requires a bit more calculus. Tenchi: Well, I know the short-cuts. Gramps look! IT'S A FLYING BEAVER!!!! Yosho: [Turns around] What?! WHERE?!?! Tenchi stabs him in the back. And as Yosho falls to the ground coughing blood, I evidentally did see some flying beavers. (They were being used at a nearby spaceship center...) Tenchi: And now for the last act of non passiveness! THE DESTRUCTION OF JURAI!!!!! Some time later; I look upon the piled-up corpse (resperator over my mouth), as Tenchi stands on the very top. The head of Lord Azusa is in his grasp. Tenchi: There! I did it! No one can stop me now! Shinji: ^_^; Yeah, that's right. The bad news is that you've just became a bad guy. You no longer have your own show; and some new goody-two-shoes is gonna be here any moment to defeat you. Tenchi: Well, bring it on! I have the light hawk wings AND I'M WILLING TO USE THEM! NO ONE CAN STOP ME! My instinct starts kicking in again as I vacated the area. And whilst sneaking out, I can hear... New hero: PREPARE TO DIE; YOU VERY EVIL...! EVIL DOER! FUJISAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! -=*=- My knowledge of trans-dimensionalizing is not as good as Ismaphael's; but it gets me to where I'm going. So, to make a long story short, I found what was left of "Shin Gouko Tenchi" on "Sandy Planet." Shinji: Maybe you should change your fic style into lemons before [Photon] comes by and gives your ass another good kicking. ^_^; *********** The Plausible End