All characters used here are owned by their respected companies, and I have no intention of owning them. The story/MST are property of Clayton Overstreet and Assassin Ivyrose, which I received neither's permission from, and hope that will not affect my story. ^_^;;;; *************** (Everyone is laid back today.for now. Ryoko is sleeping on a lone rafter in the ceiling, Ranma has fallen asleep on a chair, next to twenty pounds of take-out, Vegetta is in the middle of the room meditating, and Asuka is reading a book, but JS is nowhere to be found, until.) (comes running in) Guys! Guys! I got some great news! (Everyone turns to attention to them, even if they wake up) What do you want?! You just broke my concentration. (looks at Vegetta quizically) Vegetta.when did you start meditating? (Vegetta snaps into reality to this and grits his teeth) Anyway.I was looking through the archives, looking for a story we could MST, and I found one! (bored) Whoop-di-doo. Yeah, but that's not all. I was looking for something else to read, and I came across an MST of the fic! And I was reading through it, and I thought what a great oppurtunity it is! (quickly get in front of him, looking happy) Seriously?! Yeah! Isn't that super?! We get to MST a story AND a MST all in one, it'll surely get me some points with other MST'rs! (start jumping up and down with excitement) Cool! And just think, this one isn't really that bad! (stop jumping and looks him in the eyes) Really?! (Next thing he knows, JS's head is buried into concrete floor, the other characters holding miscellaneous objects used to belt him) (holding a crowbar) Idiot. (with a baseball bat) What a werido (with a mallet) I bet he didn't get permissioni again, either. (with an axe) Let's just get it over with. (Everyone enters the theater, Vegetta carrying the unconscious JS in) ********** (Seating order, left to right: Ranma, Asuka, JS, Ryoko, Vegetta) (rubbing head) You guys didn't have to hit me so hard. Nobody to help us MST it this time? No, I felt it was a bit outdated. >Poet, Psychomatic? (looks around fearfully) Where?! > fan-fic reader, and hopefully famous author Assassin Ivy Rose >sat at her computer reading another sad excuse for literature. Oh, poet as in a real poet, not a psychomatic one. >She shook her long red hair and closed her green eyes, Washu? Asuka? Let's not start with this, you know how many characters in anime are red-haired, and have green eyes. >sighing softly. "I wish I could own a theater ship and MST so I could kill some of these >writers." Bah! You actually WANT to MST?! I think it's fun. You would. > A booming disembodied voice suddenly speaks. (as booming disembodied voice) Ivyrose? This is God! Abandon this meaningless quest now! (looks up as thunder rolls) Nice impression of Kami. Don't think it scored any points with Him though. >"This shall be done >then.you will work for me and in return I will provide you with a ship >and crew. Only if you MST Tenchi fan fiction." (as booming voice) And you become my willing sex slave. (A GIGANTIC lightning bolt fries the chair behind him) (with a sweatdrop) That ain't good. (ditto) I think you should stop with the impressions. (ditto) Good idea. > "Out of all the anime in the known galaxy you had to choose Tenchi. He could have you do Digimon lemons.would you rather do that? I hope someone finds that sicko and runs him over with a dump truck.. >You drive a hard bargain whoever you are, but I want full command of >the ship! Every and any being or creature or thing whatsoever that is >on board answers to me alone." > " Fine, as you wish it, but I will be watching you." You know, his voice sounds familiar. Sorta oriental with some anger to it. > Ivy soon finds herself seated in a large black leather chair behind a >desk of white oak. I prefer cherry. Mahogany. (fire in his eyes; as Inferno) BURNED! (Others get a sweatdrop) THAT'S Vegetta. > The carpet is plush and dark blue. "I could get used >to this. You know that voice sounded very familiar.." You too? >She let's out a >yell seeing a woman with blue hair that is wearing blue shorts and a >white shirt that says Capsule Corp. BULMA?! Great. We get to listen to her bitch about the story. (He is prominently fried by Vegetta) > "Bulma! What are you doing here? I mean I didn't know that." She >lightly bangs her head on the table cursing her unbelievably rotten >luck. Big deal, you got Bulma. So what? > I was going to pick Vegeta as part of my crew. ..... (trying to change subject) On different terms, is she talking this or thinking it? (glances at Vegetta as he powers up) I really don't think it matters. >this is soooo >unfair! Was this done on purpose somehow? I wouldn't be a damn bit surprised if it was! Everyone's out to get me! >No, how could anyone know I >am completely into Bulma's husband. ..... (grinning evily) Boy Vegetta, you were right. Shut your hole. >I'll just act natural. Is it natural for someone to rip you apart limb by limb with relative ease? (Vegetta nods in agreement) > She stops >banging her forehead on the hard wood and gives a wide grin. "Wow, it >was unexpected that the most intelligent woman in the DBZ dimension >would be here. Talk about your major sucking up. (to Ivyrose) Hey, you got something brown on your nose! > Why exactly are you on the ship?" > Bulma smiles and pops out a capsule pressing the button before >tossing it on the ground. With a puff of smoke a nice armchair of red >velvet pops out. Hmm, I never remember a capsule like that. What kind of capsules are there, beside for the Time Machine, a house, and vehicles? Well, there is a waterbed. ENOUGH! > She sits down with a sigh. "That's much better. I have >been working on the engines and mainframe all day. Oh, and I also made >it so the computer only listens to your commands. Great, who's up for some S&M? Don't worry, this is a non-lemon. YES! >I am the ships >engineer and pilot now, so you can't torture me with those evil fan >fictions." Like she would if she could. > "Engineer and pilot? That's wonderful." Ivy mutters under her breathe >something about dropping Bulma into subspace and having Washu take her >place. WHAT?! Well, I'm glad to know the author has angst against an anime character (she looks over to JS thrashing the hell out of a chibi-Sakuya doll) >"So, the ship's computer will listen to me and only me? Okay >then lets begin recruiting." >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (Everyone shrieks at that) Boy, that's a strange scene change. We don't do those jokes, remember? Sorry. >Ivy: Computer? >Computer: YES? Damn, someone splice a computer chip with Lime. Hmm.edible computers. Nooooo.Lime as in Saber Marionette Lime Ohhh.(suddenly snaps into reality) I've never seen the show. (look at each other) Oh boy. >Ivy: We will begin bringing in the crew now. My first choice is Duo >Maxwell, who happens to be held captive at the moment on Quatre's ship >the Winner Queen. ........ I coulda been wrong about the lemon. > You might have to do a tiny bit of hacking into the >defense system. (holds up an axe, grins evily) I wouldn't mind to do a bit of hacking right now. (Others stare at him nervously, before turning to JS) Least you got him in character. Thank you. >Computer: THAT WILL BE NO PROBLEM AT ALL. I AM THE MOST ADVANCED >SYSTEM >IN THE UNIVERSE. NOW COMMENDERING THE FIRST CREWMEMBER (Everyone covers their ears) Could she make it any louder? I think she installed the Chi-Chi chip. (as Chi-Chi computer) GOHAN! MY 500 MILLION GIGABYTE RECORDING SAYS YOU HAVE ONLY FINISHED HALF OF YOUR ESSAY! FINISH IT! (Others stare at him nervously) >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ > Duo, who is officially janitor, scrubs the sticky floors of the >lobby. Oh, that could be taken so wrong in this show. (sarcastically) Thank you very much for that comment. > A loud wailing echoes through the ship and Quatre's voice can be >heard shouting through the speakers. OH NO! QUATRE AND TROWA'S GOING AT IT! EWW! RANMA! >Quatre: We have an intruder!! Find them and bring them to me! Yet another wrong saying in Gundam Wing. >Duo: I wonder why someone would try to break IN to this place. >A yellow beam of light soon surrounds him and he starts floating off >the ground. Tsunami? Duo's the only one who DESERVES to be rescued from Quatre. >Computer: DUO MAXWELL.YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO BE PART OF THE >CREW ON A >NEW SHIP. >Duo: Huh? What do you mean a new ship! Well, she hasn't been screwin' much up except the punctuataions. >Computer: NO TIME. YOU WILL BE TRANSPORTED IMMEDIATELY TO THE >CAPTAIN'S >OOFFICE. Ooffice? What is that, like a mutant umpa loompa? (singing) Ooffice, loofice, offidy, foof. >Duo: But.*disappears* >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ You know, it looks like three dizzy guys in a row. Joe. Sorry. >Computer: I HAVE OBTAINED DUO MAXWELL. HE WILL BE HERE WITHIN A >MOMENT. >Duo: *falls in flat on his back.he sits up and rubs the back of his >head* Don't people know where they get hurt at?! You fell on your back, not your head! I think the author was reffering to the whiplash effect of landing on your back. (Others stare at him nervously, before he moves like something hit him) (grabbing his head) Woah, what happened?! I guess that comment was too intelligent for his brain to habdle. > Hey, what's the big idea? *notices Ivy and Bulma* WOAH! I have >finally died and gone to heaven. Oh yeah, that's Duo. Definently. >Thank you god.thank you. Ha, more bad punctuation. And some grammar to throw in. No, it's a simple error when you send e-mail with certain internet services, it wll remove peirods when trying to make a pause in a saying. (Others stare at him nervously, before he jerks again) (grabbing head) What happened?! >Ivy and Bulma: (O.O);;; >Ivy: ok.Computer our next member will be Nobuyuki. Noboyuki?! Is she insane?! (looks at Vegetta, grins evily) Well Vegetta, looks like a threesome. (Vegetta blasts her all the way across the room) THERE'S THE VEGETTA EVERYONE KNOWS! >We need an inside >input to the Tenchi fics. That's great! That's a wonderful idea! BUT NOBUYUKI?! (returning to her seat) Me, Ayeka, Kiyone, Washu, Mihoshi, Tenchi.well maybe not him, but you have five choices to choose from! Hell, even Yosho! >Computer: NOW SEARCHING FOR NOBUYUKI AND ACCESSING RETRIEVAL >PROCESS.. >*Nobuyuki falls in holding his video camera. Uh-huh, great, another stereotype. >He slowly puts it down >looking around* >Duo: Spying on Tenchi to see if he's finally becomes a man? Who the hell cares if he does?! It's not going to be anytime soon! (Ryoko fires a blast at him, which he dodges) >Nobuyuki: Why yes.how did you know? >Ivy: *sighs*: Computer our next crewmember is Prince Vegeta from DBZ. NEVER! I REFUSE TO JOIN ANOTHER DAMN MST GROUP! ONE IS ENOUGH! (looks at JS) AND TWO IS TOO DAMN MANY! >Computer: YES MA'AM NOW OBTAINING PRINCE VEGETA. >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >*A dark figure sits in front of a monitor laughing evilly* >Dark Figure: Ha! I knew she would slip. Weak onna.can't even control >her hormones in front of the man's wife. (smirks) Well, even if she can find me, I wouldn't need to deal with her. > She will fall within moments! >Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!! ...... Asuka-chan? WUFEI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >Bulma: Why would you choose Vegeta to MST? >Ivy: Well.*cough*. you see. (as Ivyrose) I am hormonally high at the moment and need to relieve my stress. (rolls his eyes) Fangirls. >Computer: PRINCE VEGETA WILL BE HERE IN 5.4.3.2. >*Vegeta appears standing in his full Saiya-jin armor with his arms >folded over his chest. Oh great, she's gonna give every little detail about every muscle in his body. You got a problem with that? Hell yeah I got a problem with that! (wipes some sweat off) Phew! > He scowls at Bulma and Ivy* >Vegeta: What am I doing here woman? >Ivy: *goes wide-eyed and leaps over the desk to huggle the Saiya-jin >prince* Grrr. What the hell's a huggle? It's sort of a mix between a hug and a cuddle, it's one of my favorite methods of foreplay. (sighs and stares lovingly at the screen, others get a sweatdrop, before he jerks again) Wha-? What the.? (looks at Asuka) My darling! (He gropes her) *KAPOW!* (Asuka stands over an unconscious JS with fire in her eyes) I think we hit him too hard. Didn't hit him hard enough as far as I can tell. > Oh, you are the best in the entire universe! I can't believe >you are actually here, the sexiest guy DBZ and one of the sexiest guys >in all anime!! Rrrrr! (goes SSJ4) Woah! Wind burn! >Bulma: *growls* GET OFF MY HUSBAND!!!! >Ivy: Computer, please restrain Bulma. >*Bulma is immediately bound and gagged to the chair* A bondage MST? (Vegetta glares at him) >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >*The dark figure smiles pressing a button on his monitor. His voice >soon booms through the ship* >Voice: WEAK ONNA! USING THE SHIPS COMPUTER TO BIND YOUR ENEMY. >THAT IS >PLAIN INJUSTICE! YOU HEAR, INJUSTICE!! Dammit it is Wufei! Only one who would use 'onna' and 'injustice'. >Ivy: I didn't want to use any energy.wait a minute. "Weak >onna"."Injustice".I knew I knew that voice!! Took you long enough. >Quickly Computer, >transport Wufei Chang as our final crewmember. >Voice: NO THAT'S OK. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. *voice is cut off as >Wufei falls in landing face first on the desk* That's one major face-fault. >Ivy: I knew it was you. You little demon.how did you know I liked >Vegeta? (MST group looks around the room) I think the many Vegetta posters gives it off. Vegetta, why are you dressed like an escort serviceman in that poster? (blushing) How the hell should I know?! >Wufei: *sits up and rubs his forehead* I bugged the Gundam Wing model >in your room. >Ivy: I'll deal with you later. *addresses the others except Bulma* Well >my friends you have been chosen to MST Tenchi fan-fics with me. I can't >get out of that part of the contract with Wufei here, and it also says >that he controls me and the ship plus it's computer.. Waitaminute, didn't he give her control of the ship and all those on it? So it's like a double standard, no one wins. >but it also says >in the extra fine print that all that is void and all control goes to >me if I figure out who my benefactor is so*claps* Let's get started!! Benefactor? More like taskmaster. (has a whip in his hand, glances at Asuka) I don't mind a little S&M. *KLONG!* >*Everyone follows her to the theater* >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >*ROLL CALL* (singing) Cambot! (as Cambot) You're on! Gypsy! (as Gypsy) I'm the star! Tom Servo! (as Tom) Check me out! Croooooooooww! (as Crow) I'm different! >Ivy: I RULE ALL! >Duo: FREE! FREE! >Nobuyuki: Is this going to be bad? >Vegeta: I WILL NOT TAKE ORDERS.ESPECIALLY FROM A WOMAN! >Wufei: THIS IS INJUSTICE!! Shoot. It was fun while it lasted. >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >Ivy: Hi, and welcome to the first MST aboard the- >Duo: Uh.exactly what is this ship's name? The S.S.Hormone? Wrong Ranma, that was wrong. >Ivy: I was getting to that. Here eat the cookie. *tosses him s >chocolate chip cookie* >Duo: *catches it and eats happily* Duo's easy to please. >Ivy: Like I was saying.Hi and welcome to the first MST aboard my ship >the Warrior King. >Vegeta: Not a bad choice of naming.for a woman. That's definently you Vegetta. Bah! I'd blow the ship up. >Ivy: *blushes* Yeah, a comment from Vegetta, that's something to blush about. >Thank you Vegeta. We will be looking at Tenchi fan >fiction separating the few good from the bad and the hideous. Our first >story will be by Clayton Overstreet. (tries to think) Clayton Overstreet.Clayton Overstreet. >Vegeta & Duo: NOOOOO.!! >Ivy: It's not a lemon though! >Vegeta & Duo: *sigh* >Ivy: Okay Computer, role 'em. >*5. >*4. >*3. >*2. >*1. >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >>I don't own these characters or profit from them. (acts like he's pulling out a gun) Foom! Quickest disclaimer in the west! >Wufei: Was that a disclaimer? >Duo: I think so. >Ivy: I like it. It's short and to the point. >> Mortal Cabbit (JS stares happily at the last line) Oh no. MORTAL KOMBAT! (The music to the movie plays in the background, some blurry figures do several flips behind the group) >>By, Clayton Overstreet >* The theme music from Mortal Kombat plays over the speakers. Duo makes >kung fu sounds and flips* >Others: *. *;; (Everyone looks behind them) Ranma> Was that Duo behind us? Don't think so, there was more than one of them. >> Prologue >> Tenchi sighed as he saw the royal ship appear in the sky over his >>house. Every >>time the royal family stopped by something bad happened. Every time the royal family stopped by? They only showed up once. Seriyo. Oh. >>Tenchi was >>afraid that >>one of these days Ryoko would do something that would end up getting >>her >>executed. Not that Aeka would mind. Yeah, her and every other member of the royal house. Well, Misaki is pretty nice. Think about it, head chopped off, or squeezed to death by Misaki? You got a point there. >Nobuyuki: Who's Aeka? >Duo: I think he means Ayeka. >Ivy: Ayeka thinks everything Ryoko does should get her executed. >Vegeta (as Ayeka): You blinked! Die Devil woman!! Yeah, that's basically it. Oh, she has more than character than that. (Others glare at him) (sweatdrop) Doesn't she? >Ivy: Wow, I didn't think you're voice could go that high. My voice can't go that high! It's the basic concept that you're speaking for the character, YOU DON'Y COPY THERE EXACT VOICE! (as Xellos [his exact voice too ^_^]) Oh well isn't that nice. ^_^ (Others stare at him nervously) >>And that was the main problem with Aeka, Tenchi thought. She showed >>love, but >>only to people she felt deserved it due to lineage. Oh great, now I'm going to become some kind of soft-hearted idiot. >> She hadn't even >>started to >>like Ryoko when the pirate had saved her from Kagato, almost getting >>herself >>killed in the process. Yeah, gratitude for ya. Like you should talk Mr. "I could care less about this planet!" I blew myself up to save this damn planet! Lot of good that did. (Vegetta blasts him across the room) >Wufei: What an ingrate. >Duo: That's what you get from those stuck up royal types. They always >act like they have a stick up their a- Finish it! Dammit it's true! What about Sasami? .......oops. >*Vegeta throws Duo across the theater where he crashes into the wall* >Nobuyuki: Ouch. >Ivy: That's going to cost a lot to repair. (returns to his seat) Yeah, I know. (reaches in his sleeve and pulls out a piece of concrete) >>But while Aeka pretended to like everyone and looked down on most, >>Ryoko >>pretended to hate everyone and liked all of them, even the princess. (looks at Ryoko and smiles) Ryoko. (Ryoko looks away from him and blushes) >Vegeta*snickers* : We all know how Ryoko likes Ayeka. (All face-fault) (to Vegetta) Bastard. >Ivy*hits Vegeta with large mallet*: None of that. >>Tenchi had >>been thinking of telling Ryoko how he felt about her this weekend, YES! >>but >>with the >>royals here that would have to wait. Besides there was the other >>problem of age. >>Not Ryoko's or his, but what his would be. Ow. That one hurt. >Nobuyuki: Wouldn't that count as his age? I.think so. >>Even with his Juraian heritage and >>the extra life given him by Tsunami >>Tenchi would still age, albeit >>slowly, I'm pretty sure he would age about the same rate. >>and >>if he wasn't killed, he would still die of old age eventually and he >>wasn't sure >>if it was right to do that to Ryoko. o_O I'm not getting what he's saying here. >> He had considered asking Washu about it, but didn't want to take the >>chance >>that her solution would include putting his brain in a jar. And his sperm in her hand. Watch it. >Duo: Smart guy. Tenchi? Mr. "I live with five women and haven't once hit on them?" >>He started to put >>his gardening equipment away, but realized that he still had half the >>field to >>plow and this would give him an excuse to avoid Asuza, I'd be more worried about staying away from Misaki. Kindess kills. >>who really >>didn't seem to >>like him at all. Smiling Tenchi got back to work. > >> Back at the house Sasami, Aeka, and Yosho came out to greet their >>parents. Yosho? Really? I would have guessed he just sat in the house and watched from a window. >>"Mommy!" Aeka and Sasami yelled as they hugged Masaki. Okay, but which Masaki did they hug? None of that now. >>Masaki was crying, Oh yeah, he's gonna misspell Misaki's name ALL through the fic. >>"Oh Sasami! Aeka. I missed you so much." >>Ryoko was sitting in the door with Mihoshi and Kiyone (waving to her) HI KIYONE! Great, either we got a continuity mix, or he's going to give some lame excuse on how she got their. >>(Who had joined up with >>them several months before). (nods her head) That's what I thought. >> Kiyone was looking at Aeka in surprise >>and said, >>"She... she called her mommy!" She burst out laughing. Stop Kiyone! For the love of God stop! Bought time someone got it besides me. >>She was so busy >>laughing >>that she didn't notice Mihoshi and Ryoko move away from her or see >>Masaki walk >>up to her and look at her angrily. (Everyone starts humming the theme from Jaws) >> "Are you mocking my daughter?" Masaki asked. No, this would be mocking her. (as Aeka with an abnormally high voice) Oh my mommy how I miss you so much! Hehehehehehehehehe! *KKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPP!* (Others sigh) I'm sure that joke's getting pretty old by now. >Nobuyuki (as Kiyone): No, I was just laughing because she called you >"mommy". >Wufei (as Masaki): Well as long as you weren't mocking her. We're almost as bad as them. >>. Kiyone stopped laughing and >>looked at her in shock. Masaki grabbed each of Kiyone's cheeks. (Asuka holds her mallet several inches from JS's head, which is flat on the ground) >>"Nobody mocks my >>children!" >>Kiyone moaned in pain and saw Sasami standing behind her mother *KAPOW!* (JS's head is embedded into the floor) He was about to. You're probably right. >>holding up a >>sign. She began reading it out loud. "I'm sorry pretty lady, I didn't >>mean to >>insult anyone." No, it read I'm sorry pretty lady. That's all. >>Masaki smiled. "Oh that's so sweet. Come give me a hug!" (healed; as floozy Kiyone) Oh well in that case beautiful, young. (Before Asuka can mallet him, a large missle explodes several feet behind him, he's engulfed in flames) >>She let go of >>Kiyone's face and hugged her so tightly that Kiyone was sure something >>was going >>to snap. (standing in a painful position) Like my back did. (falls on his knees before passing out) >> Funaho shook her head at Masaki, and then looked at Yosho. "Do you >>know why we >>are here?" A family picnic? I can imagine it now. Explosions, screams of pain, Tenchi being ripped in half. Not surprised you haven't done it yet. >> Yosho shook his head, "No mother, I do not." > > Sasami giggled from next to his leg. "I do, Tsunami told me all >>about it. It's >>some kind of tournament right?" Oh. (healed) Tsunami does not speak to Sasami unless absolutely necessary! She doesn't want to tell her that she's assimilated with her! Even if she didn't belive her! Saved your ass on that one. (breathing heavily) Tell me about it. >Ivy (as game show host): That's right! Bob, show her what she's won. (as Bob) Two free MST's of your very own story! (as Sasami) I think I'll take the grab-bag. >> Funaho nodded. "That is correct Sasami. Why don't we wait until >>Tenchi gets >>here before we tell them about it though." He'll probably wet his pants. (Ryoko glares at him) >> Sasami smiled and nodded; ignoring the odd looks she was getting >>from the >>others. Asuza stepped forward and looked around him. "Things have not >>changed >>much... who are you?" He looked at Noboyuki. Nobody important. Ow. >> "I'm Noboyuki, Tenchi's father. I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you >>last time >>your highness, I was at work." >Duo: Yeah work. >Nobuyuki: I was!! This time. Ewwww! We did not need to know that. >Ivy: Ewwww. Bingo. >> Asuza looked him over, "So you are the man who married my lost >>grandchild. I >>see." Run Nobuyuki. As fast as you can. What's the worst he can do? >> Noboyuki looked nervous, afraid that he had offended the emperor. >>Then >>Ryo-oki cam (JS goes to say something) (stops him) Wait. >Vegeta: Yes the Ryo-oki cam! No one will suspect your sweet pet is >recording their every move. Poopie. We've been copying almost every joke they've had. What? About five then? >> walking up in her toddler form and bowed to Asuza. The cabbit-girl >>was so cute Asuza couldn't help but smile. AHH! He's scaring me! (grips onto Asuka) Let.go. >Ivy: Asuza never smiles though. Oh no, there was that one smile where he's overlooking the Earth and says that he'll exact his revenge or something like that. (sweatdrop) Perhaps there's somewhere else I can be. >Duo: Yeah, just like Wufei and Vegeta. Oh no.Vegetta smiles.when he's about to blow somebody to bits. (Vegetta nods in agreement) >*Vegeta and Wufei clobber Duo* >Nobuyuki: Medic!! (as Bill Cosby) What do you want?! >> Masaki then proceeded to hug everyone, including Ryoko who had tried >>to sneak >>away before it was her turn. Misaki's hugs are a dime a dozen. (Others look at JS holding a bunch of dimes) (blushing) I have a little crush, alright. >> Mihoshi and Sasami seemed to be the only >>two left >>standing afterwards. Her hugs aren't that dangerous. (looks at JS and smiles evily) I bet you wouldn't mind seeing for yourself. (still blushing) Leave me alone. >> Noboyuki then lead everyone indoors to watch >>television and >>wait for Tenchi to get home. I want to see this, Asuza watching television. I wonder what would happen if we showed him Nobuyuki's "collection." That's a bad idea Ryoko. Who knows how many tapes he has of Ayeka? (The Nobuyuki from the other MST turns around) Actually around three. ....... That was wrong. > >> Tenchi came home at about sunset, putting his tools away and >>cleaning up in >>the carrot shed's sink. The shed has a sink? Modern pluming. >Duo: Because we all know what he did "At The." >Ivy*gives him the "omae o korosu" stare* Gezundeight! > : Duo, if you value your life >don't finish that sentence. Can I finish it? >Duo: Sentence? What sentence? >Wufei: Does Heero know you've stolen his stare? Oh, that stare. Got it. (to Ivyrose) Not all of us know Japanese. >>Then he headed towards the house. He had been hoping >>that the royals had only wanted to speak with Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho, >>and then >>would leave. A quick visit here is reffered to the phrase "a snowball's chance in hell." Ow, taking phrases off the Assassin. Actually, he calls himself "Mashima Cello" now. >>The fact that they were still here told him that whatever it was, >>he was a part of it. That.sorta made sense. >> He forced himself to smile as he walked through the door. "I'm >>home!" He >>called out. Almost immediately he felt invisible arms wrap around him, Oh no! Keanu Reeves is attacking again! (hairs shoots straight up) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (he leaps far into the ceiling) I can't believe that movie scared him. (lands back in his seat) It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for that dog. >>causing >>him to smile for real. "Ryoko..." (singing) I got you babe. >Ivy *wraps her arms around Vegeta*: Vegeta. (Vegetta stares in remote shock at that line, JS calls everyone else into a huddle) >Vegeta: *smirks* >Nobuyuki: He's married isn't he? (singing) Well I be.big pimpin! Final Flash! (A large ki wave fries the rest of the group) >Ivy: I never was a believer in the "Vegeta and Bulma" relationship. Yeah, well you know what.I AM! >> Ryoko appeared and whispered in his ear, "Welcome home my Tenchi." >>He blushed >>as usual, but Ryoko noticed he was still smiling. What is it with these authors?! They can't understand the basic concept of a show. Tenchi has yet to smile while being strangled by that pirate! >> She was just about >>to kiss him >>when... (folds his arms across his chest) Yes, go on. >Ivy: None of you even start those jokes. >Others: Awwww man! (bolting upright, screaming as Ivy) YOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS MAKING ME OOC AS THIS IDIDOT! (points to the sizzling JS) I TAKE ORDERS FROM NO ONE! (speaking through those mysterious speakers) Vegetta, I want a word with you. (Vegetta looks shocked, before he tries to say something) (demonic) NOW! (Vegetta rushes out of the theater) >> "Miss Ryoko, get your filthy hands off of lord Tenchi this instant!" >>Aeka >>yelled. >> Ryoko almost yelled back at her, but remembered Tenchi's rules about >>fighting >>when they had company. Knowing that Tenchi considered her the only one >>out of >>her and Aeka who would listen to the rule had made it stick with her. (getting up) Woah.what happened? (dizzy) Did someone get the licsence number of that truck? (still on floor) Auntie Em.Auntie Em. (more charred than the others) Okay, where'd that saiyan jerk go to? >Nobuyuki: Since when has Ryoko listened to Tenchi? Since hell's frozen over. (finally up) I can only wish. >Vegeta: Since when has he developed a spine to MAKE her do anything? >Nobuyuki: Hey, that's my son you're talking about!! And MY future husband! >Wufei: Your son is weak. Get over it. (with Wufei; to Ryoko) Your husband is weak. Get over it. (Ryoko blinks in shock several times) >>Squeezing >>Tenchi one last time Snap. >>she teleported into the living room with the >>others. >> Aeka grabbed Tenchi's arm, "Are you alright? She didn't hurt you?" >>Before he >>could answer she dragged him into the living room. >>Tenchi retrieved his arm Since when did he lose it? (grabs Asuka's arm and holds it in the air) Need a hand? (as Edd) This joke is older than my Mezozoic fossil collection. I never noticed how soft your arm is Asuka. It's quite lovely. (blushes and smiles) Why thank you. (JS observes Asuka's arm very closely, then tries to bite it.) *WHAM!* (Asuka removes her fist from his jaw) (smiling) He almost had you Asuka. Shut up. >Ivy: Get the arm Tenchi. That's a good boy. Ha. They actually stuck with that joke. It is to laugh. (starts laughing like Damaramu) He's weird, but he sure does have a wide variety of laugh impersionations. > >and bowed to Asuza and his wives. "Welcome back." >> Funaho and Masaki grinned, but Asuza eyed him as coldly as always. (as Asuza to himself) Damn that's a nice ass. (others stare at her nervously) Now if that was me.I'd be eating dirt for a while. >>Tenchi >>smiled nervously and looked around at the others. They seemed to be >>adapting to >>the royalty easily, except for Kiyone who wasn't used to them yet. Ah Kiyone, so simple yet so complex.damn your hot. (motioning to camera) I think you're scaring the readers now. >Ivy: Thus the term "adapt". (brings out a dictionary and looks through it) Adapt.to make fit often by modification.no, she's not adapted. >>When he >>looked at Ryoko she blew him a kiss. Tenchi blushed and sat down >>quickly. Never noticing the cabbit. (as Ryo-Ohki) MMMMMMMMMRRRRRRREEEEEEEEOWWWWWWW! (shivering in his seat) I started the joke, and I'm still scared. >> Asuza nodded to Funaho who stood up and looked around her. "Every >>thousand >>years on every world there is a tournament held by the gods where in >>mortals >>fight for their patron deity. Every.world. Oh God, get the rant machine! Okay.(gets up to the leave) What's the rant machine? It's.a.machine we made for a joke, just go get it! >> The winner of this tournament keeps >>control of the >>world where the fight is held for another millennium. WHAT?! (Ryoko comes back in with am small box with a lot of wires with sunction cups) Okay.what do we do? (grabbing a wire) I think we place these things on his head. (reaches to place one on his head, she shrieks as a little bit of steam flies from his forehead) (finishes with the wires) What's this thing supposed to do? I.don't know. (reaches under his seat and pulls out an instruction manual) It says, it's supposed to change the rantee into, who he/she thinks, is the best ranter for several minutes. (sweatdrop) Oh this should be good. >>If the world's >>chosen >>champions loose the majority of the matches then it is taken over by >>the other >>god." (JS screams as a large puff of smoke surrounds him, others wait the result) Who do you think, Peter, Ksa, Scimitar? (sarcastic) That's a good idea, get those three on our cases. Soooorry! (Vegetta walks in, hair mussed up, sweating, and an odd odor eminating from him) What's with you? Unfinished business. I smell fish. >> Funaho stopped and looked around at them. "If this happens Jurai and >>all the >>worlds under it's control will be under the control of someone other >>than >>Tsunami. (from the cloud) Ha! You call that an excuse! NO WAY! (Naga comes out of the cloud, breasts first of course, and points at the screen) First of all, the fight isn't distributed among all worlds! It is a battle among the other world and the people on the Earth, for domination of the Earth! If you think that you can try to cover up this plot hole, with THIS excuse, you got another think coming my poor friend! HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What the hell?! This is insane! (finishes laugh) And number two, Tsunami doesn't control Jurai, she merely watches over the planet, not to mention that as of this moment she is watching over Tenchi and his friend! HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-! (Naga disappears in a puff of smoke, and JS falls into his seat, others are staring at him with an EXTREMELY large sweatdrop. He's breathing very heavely, he looks down at his chest) (scrambles for the machine) I gotta try that again! (Ryoko pulls the machine away from him as Asuka restrains him) LET ME GO! Did you see the size of those things?! We know! >> They may decide to destroy the universe." >Duo: Or they could destroy all the evil lemon writers! No, they are evil, they would keep all the lemon writers, and force each person to read all of their stories. (breathing heavily, resting against Asuka) I'm (pant) okay (wheeze). (also breathing heavily) Too (gasp) bad. >Ivy: We can only hope. >Nobuyuki: Speak for yourselves. That was wrong.even for you. >>Tenchi and the others looked at her in shock. Washu stood up and >>looked at >>Funaho. "Who is this other god?" (praying) Please lt it be Urd, please let it be Urd. Wrong show. (still praying) I don't care, I don't care. >> Funaho bit her lip. "We aren't sure, but we do know that they are >>the new >>ruler of Outworld. Apparently Shao Khan was killed and his brother >>Rayden was >>elevated to elder godhood. (to JS) Did Shao Khan die? I think so, I mean, he did become a box. >> Another god was chosen to be the ruler of >>Outworld >>while the position of Earth's thunder god remains open." (JS goes SSJ2 and growls uncontrollably) Easy there, you can't blame the author for not reading ahead of the stroyline. (energy swirling around him) Well I can sure try. >> Washu sat down and nodded, "I see." >> Sasami looked around at all of them. "Tsunami told me she would like >>you to >>fight in the tournament for her. But only if you want too, because >>it's very >>dangerous." Dangerous? I don't know Funaho very much, but I'm sure she can handle herself. >Vegeta: HA! No tournament is so dangerous that a Saiya-jin would back >out of it. I wouldn't even enter because this tournament is so insignificant to me! And the prizes are crap! "You save the world," BIG DEAL! Five frickin' people know about it! >Wufei: Didn't Goku send you back to hell with your ass kicked when you >fought him at The World Martial Arts Tournament? WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! THE ENTIRE SERIES, I ONLY DIED TWICE! NEITHER TIME FROM KAKAROTTO! >Ivy *beats Wufei in the head with an abnormally large fish*: NO ONE >SPEAKS BAD OF VEGETA-CHAN!!! VEGETA-CHAN?! (looks at Vegetta powering up) This is not going to go over well. >Wufei: @.@ I should try that. @.@ (Others stare at him nervously) >Duo: Ewwww.stinky >>Ryoko snorted, "Why would we agree to do something like that?" >> Washu looked at her. "Well the winners get immortality or if they >>already have >>it, some equally good prize." @.@ (to JS) What? No witty rant? No comeback? >Vegeta: What could be as good as immortality? >Ivy: Eternal vitality!! Isn't that basically the same thing? @.@ >Others: Okaaaaay. >> Tenchi looked up, his worries about the danger of the fight leaving >>him. "What >>do you mean immortality?" (pulls out a dictionary) Immortality.to live forever and never die.see invincible. @.@ Knock that off! @.@ I.can't.. ....... Wow, you're face really does stay like that. (JS groans) >> Asuza grinned. "Didn't you ever wonder why Aeka and Sasami had to be >>put into >>cryogenic suspension when we didn't? (tries to pull the things off of his eyes) Why did you try this?! I.think the signs are blocking his mouth. >>Masaki, Funaho, and I all fought >>in the >>last tournament. (climbs on his chair, pulls hard on it) Come.off! @.@! >> Even though Juraians live longer than humans we >>usually age at >>least a little bit in a thousand years." *POP!* (Asuka falls on her back, her skirt flying over her head, but the signs are in her hands, as for JS.) Thetournamentprizeisn'timmortalityitisathatyousaveyourworldfromcerta indestructionandthatonlyapplystotheEarthzandFunahoAsuzaandMisakiarenotim mortalbuttheirlifespansareslightlyGREATERthanEarthlingsandwoahIcanseeall thewayupyourskirtAsukaandIdidn'tknowyouhadVictoriaSecretpantiesIthoughty ouonlyhadHanes!*ggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssspppppp ppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!* (JS breathes heavily some more, others except Asuka stare at him with a sweatdrop, Asuka's a little mad right now.) I guess the signs caused him to hold the rants and.perverted comments before releasing them in one mass sentence. (grabs JS's collar) You were in my lingerie drawer?! (smiles pervertedly) Well I have to check the sturdiness and flexibility of your panties if we ever want to try "wild sex." (blinks in shock before realizing what he did) YOU RIPPED UP MY UNDERWEAR?! (still smiling) No, just put a couple holes in them, ripping them up would ruin the point. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! You're so cute when you're angry. (kisses her on the nose) AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! (Grabs him by his neck and starts strangling him) Same ol', same ol'. >> Tenchi bit his lip thinking. This could be the perfect chance to >>live as long >>as Ryoko. He could finally ask her to marry him. (Ryoko looks at the screen.really, really happily) And a one, and a two, and a three. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (starts singing) CEL-EBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON! >>"I'll do it." >> Aeka smiled, "Me too. That way when Tenchi and I are married we can >>be >>together forever." (makes her hand like a gun and points it at Ayeka) Ha ha! You got no chance now! (to Asuka) Should we tell her it's only a fic. (to JS) That's mean, why would you want to ruin this happiness? I guess you're right. >> Ryoko growled, "Well then I'm in too. And incase you forgot >>princess, Tenchi >>is going to marry me! Right Tenchi?" You got it sister! >Nobuyuki: Of course Tenchi will marry Ryoko. They have already had a >child together. WHAT?! How I come I wasn't informed about this?! It could have been ___________ (Ryoko blinks in utter shock) >Wufei: Fool! That was the egg the old Ryo-oki laid!! >Duo: You watch the Tenchi series? >Wufei: Shut up. >>Tenchi stood there like a deer caught in the headlights. BEEP BEEP! (Vegetta makes noises of a car hitting something) >>Funaho >>stepped in. >>"We'll discuss this later, (All facefault) >>now we need to know if anyone else will be >>in this.I >>have also agreed to participate." Who do you think's going to die? (has a table in front of her) Place your bets right here! (Everyone gets puts some pieces of paper on the table) (to Asuka) So, after the fight you want to go see who had the higher bet? Kid, you couldn't place a high bet even if you tried. (as Makoto) .ouch. >> Yosho nodded, "I will as well." >> Mihoshi stood up, "As a Galaxy police officer it is my job to >>protect the >>galaxy, so I'll fight too." Dammit Mihoshi! It only deals with the Earth! And she'd say something along the lines like this, (as Mihoshi) Um, okay. But only if there are prizes for the winner. >> "Same here," Kiyone said. >> Washu stood up. "I'm in too." >> Ryo-oki hopped into Ryoko's lap and looked up at them. "Meow!" >>Ryoko smiled, "Ryo-oki says she wants to fight too." Oh this is going to be good, Ryo-Ohki kicking ass. >> Everyone looked at her surprised. Asuza asked, "Are you sure that's >>a good >>idea?" >> Ryoko looked up at him. "She can fight, trust me." >Duo (as Ryoko): She has the meanest left hook I've ever seen. Actually, in Shin, she had a nasty kick. NEVER MENTION THAT CONTINUITY AGAIN! >>Sasami looked at her sadly. "I hope she doesn't get hurt." As long as Mihoshi doesn't get her drunk again. She might actually be stronger drunk. >> Washu frowned. "That's only nine. The tournament has ten matches. >>Who's the >>last?" Tsunami? Tokimi? Mayuka? Achika? >> Masaki rolled her eyes. "Serio." WHAT?! Seriyo?! The pink haired Kuno?! What does he do besides brag about his abilities?! I thought he was dead! >All: SERIO?! HAHAHAHA!!! BINGO! >Vegeta: He's a weakling. >Ivy: They'll kill him before he gets through talking about how good he >is. I don't even think they'll give him that much a chance. >Duo: I bet you two boxes of Milk Duds they won't. Blech. I hate Milk Duds. (others stare at him nervously) (to JS) I don't like it when you make me out of character, but when you do it to Ranma.that's wrong. >Ivy*shakes his hand*: I'll take that bet. >> They all looked more surprised than when Ryo-oki had volunteered. >> Asuza cleared his throat. "Despite his fight with Tenchi last time >>Serio is a >>master of the Jurai energy and a fantastic swordsman." I thought he was dead! >> They all looked unconvinced. Tenchi looked at Funaho again, "If this >>is a >>tournament there must be rules." The rules are simple! Kill, or be killed! You put something else in their and I'll RIP YOUR HEAD OFF! (to Vegetta)You think he likes Mortal Kombat too much? Duh. >> Funaho nodded. "Yes, there are. The fights are to the death, unless >>you either >>yield or your opponent spares your life. (SSJ energy gathering around) _I_ never remember any rules like that! >>The gods are not allowed to >>participate >>unless another god wishes to fight them. If someone is challenged they >>must >>either accept or yield. But if you do not give an answer then nothing >>happens. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (Is held back by Asuka and Ryoko) Let me go! I'm gonna kill the author! >>And finally, you are only allowed weapons that you can carry." >> Kiyone chewed that over. "Does that mean we're allowed to use our >>guns?" Depends, what kind of guns do you want to use? No matter what the provacations, he always takes time to make a perverted comment. >> Funaho nodded, "Yes, but I have to warn you now that it may do no >>good." >> Noboyuki looked at Tenchi. "It sounds to me like this is going to be >>very >>dangerous. You could be killed." Have they not listened to what Funaho just said? I think they were too busy laughing at the author's ignorance. >Nobuyuki: Who do they think I am? Mojo Jo-jo? >Wufei (as Mojo Jo-jo): This tournament is dangerous.it is full of >danger.death may occur.you could die, be deceased, be killed, never >return again. That isn't Mojo Jojo. THIS IS! (as Mojo Jojo) If you enter this tournament, you could be killed. Killed is what you could be if you enter the tournament, because you could get killed. And being killed, is a result for entering this tournamnet, for I am MOJO JOJO! Pretty good impression. Thank you. >> Tenchi nodded. "I know dad." He stopped and glanced at Ryoko who was >>telling >>Aeka that she wished she could fight her instead. I don't need to fight her anymore, for I have already won. Fic, Ryoko, fic. (Ryoko snaps into reality and silently cries into her hands, others glare at Vegetta) That's too evil even for you Vegetta. >>"But I think it will >>be worth >>it." >> Noboyuki put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Just come back to me." Aww.father son moment. (Others stare at Vegetta) Tough love.like I said, tough love. (sarcastically) Right. >All: *look at Nobuyuki strangely* >Nobuyuki: WHAT?! >> Tenchi smiled. "I promise dad." > >> As they entered the Jurai system Tenchi stood looking out at the >>stars. Woah what happened?! When you make a scene change, be sure to let us now somehow. Lines, stars, something. >> It had >>been three days since they had left Earth. And the farthest Tenchi had >>even been >>had been away from Earth was orbit. OH HERE WE GO! NO MATTER WHAT CONTINUITY YOU'RE USING, TENCHI HAS AT LEAST ONCE BEEN OUTSIDE THE SOLAR SYSTEM! (to Ryoko) He has? Clay. Oh. >>Knowing the universe was a big >>place and >>seeing how big it was were two entirely different things. ..it is? >> From behind him he heard someone step into the room. They walked up >>behind >>him. "Kind of overwhelming huh?" Ryoko asked. >> Tenchi nodded, "Yeah, but how did you know what I was thinking?" (as Darth Vader) Because (does that Vader breathing) Tenchi...I am your lover. (as Tenchi/Luke) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! >Ivy: Ryoko is a psychic >Vegeta: She's already read the story. >Duo: She asked Miss Cleo! (in Jamacian accent) Call for your free Tenchi story now! >>Ryoko smiled and slid her arms around his waist. "I know more about >>you than >>you think Tenchi." (as Tenchi) Why? Were you in my journal again? >Duo (as Tenchi): Oh no she knows about my "Tenchi on a Plate of >Sashimi" experience. o_o; That was wrong. >All: *turn green* >> He blushed and said, "I believe it." After all this crap the author put even AYEKA would believe it. >> They both stared out at space for a while. "Tenchi?" >> "Yes Ryoko?" He said. >> Ryoko bit her lip. "If we don't make it through this I just want you >>to >>know... I really do love you. (Ryoko's eyes glimmer) That's sweet. I'm sick. >> I always have. And the time I've spent >>with you >>and the others has meant more to me than anything else in my life." ..Weren't you controlled by Kagato most of your life? Shut up. >> Tenchi reached down and rubbed >Duo: *opens mouth* >Others: DON'T EVEN SAY IT! >Duo: *closes mouth* Rubbed his lamp so the genie could come out? (Asuka mallets the back of his head as Ryoko hammers the front) >>her hand. "I know Ryoko. I feel the same way." >>He felt a tear drop onto his neck. (JS sniffles back a tear) Are you.? (rubs his eyes) I got something in my eyes! >> "Why did you agree to do this Tenchi? I saw the look on your face >>when they >>told us about this and I know you weren't exactly concerned about >>Jurai or even >>Earth... not really." He's not concerned about the Earth? This is new on my account. >Nobuyuki: How can he not be concerned about the earth? Where will we >live?! Well.apparently there are thousands of planet's that are currently inhabited. >>Tenchi saw Ryoko's reflection in the glass (or whatever it was) (All facefault) >>ahead >>of him. >>He saw the tears on her cheeks as she looked at his reflection too. >> "Because I..." He stopped, and then turned to look back at her. >>"Because I >>don't want you to ever be lonely or sad Ryoko. (sniffs) I'm not crying. (ditto) Neither am I. >>And you would be if I >>were to one >>day grow old and die." >> Ryoko frowned. "So you purposely put your life on the line, just to >>see if you >>can live as long as I do? (all teary eyed) This is beautiful. (takes a big sniff) You're stil not getting my Bud. >>That has to be the stupidest, most >>idiotic..." Tears >>fell from her eyes again. "...Sweetest thing anyone has ever done." (start crying)WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! This is pathetic. (Ranma's currently eating away at leftover take-out) >>She fell >>across him, holding him tightly to her. (hugs Asuka; still crying) I love you Asuka! (ditto) I love you too you baka hentai! WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (sweatdrop) Take it easy you two. It's just a fic. >Vegeta (as Tenchi): Ryoko.I can't.breathe. >Ivy (as Ryoko): Oops sorry. You ruined it! You Goddamned ruined it! (Asuka and JS's eyes shoot wide open at what they're doing) (smiles evily) What was that you said my darling? You heard nothing, right? (looks away from her) Oh, I'm sure I heard something. (grows twenty or so feet, flames burning around her; demonic) I said, you heard NOTHING! (sweatdrop) Yep, you're right. Heard nothing. Nothing is what I heard. I don't even remember what the conversation was about. >>"But if you or I die..." >> "That won't happen Ryoko. We'll get through this." Tenchi slowly put >>his arms >>around her back, the view outside momentarily forgotten. >All except Vegeta & Wufei: Ahh, how sweet. Have you no heart Vegetta? I hugged my son. Isn't that enough? >> Two days later Tenchi and the others were informed that the >>tournament would >>begin in exactly two hours. Sasami had agreed to let Tsunami use their >>body for >>the duration of the tournament, Not a word. Got it. >> so that she could guide them to where >>they >>needed to go. >> Following behind the goddess most of them were looking around in >>amazement at >>the planet around them. Elvis! (as Elvis) Thank you, thank you very much. >> Over the last few days they had seen a lot, >>and Tenchi >>had to agree that this was indeed as beautiful a place as Aeka always >>said it >>was. Is he mixing continuity now? I don't recall Ayeka saying that. >> Even Aeka, Sasami, and Yosho seemed impressed. It had been over >>seven >>hundred years since they had last been on the planet after all, and >>the last >>they had seen of it Ryoko had burned most of the cities to the ground. (sweatdrop) Oopsie. Thank goodness for Carpenter's Lumber. >Vegeta: Ryoko sounds like my kind of woman. NO! NO! NO! SHE IS NOT! I'M A MARRIED MAN! (singing) Big pimpin' (blasts him) Shut up! >Ivy: *growls, eyes turning red and a blue energy field surrounds her* >What did you say.? >Vegeta: O.O;;; Uh.nothing. I BACK DOWN FROM NO ONE! (speakers) Oh really now? (Vegetta laughs nervously, others get a sweatdrop) >> When they had arrived on the planet there had been a press >>conference at which >>Ryoko formally apologized for what Kagato had made her do. A press conference? Does Jurai even have television? >> Since the >>royals had >>already explained what had happened, nobody really seemed to hold a >>grudge >>against Ryoko. Except Ayeka. Even if I was proclaimed "The Nicest Person in the Galaxy" she'd still hate me. >> Well except for Aeka who always held a grudge against >>her. Bingo. >> Serio had joined them on the way towards the tournament gathering >>and had >>spent the last ten minutes telling them how great he was. Oh yeah, he's going to die. >>Mihoshi >>whispered in >>Kiyone's ear, "Is it just me, or does he look like the grown up >>version of >>ChibiUsa on Sailor Moon?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (bursting out lauhging) He does! HA HA HA! A Kuno, ChibiUsa offspring! ......That was wrong. >Wufei: You know he kinda does. >Duo: I wouldn't say that. Why not? >Wufei: Why? She can't do anything about it. Wufei, it was nice knowing you. >*ChibiUsa appears in her Sailor Mini-moon outfit* >Chibi: Pink Sugar Heart Attack! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! >Wufei: *laughs when nothing happens* >Chibi: I said Pink Sugar Heart Attack!! *Little pink hearts hit Wufei >repeatedly in the face. After about 2min. later she vanishes* >Duo: Told ya. >Wufei: *holding face* Owwww. That.is.sad. I never expected YOU to be attacked by a little girl in a skirt, much less be hurt by her. >> Kiyone snorted getting a look from Serio. "You commoners and your >>disgusting >>noises." Um.right. >> The others rolled their eyes and walked in silence, letting Serio >>ramble on. (as herself) Should I just kill him right now? (as Tenchi) Don't think it'll really matter if you do. >>Tenchi whispered to Funaho, "We don't have to win every match do we?" >> Funaho shook her head, "No, just the majority." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THE MOVIES! >>Suddenly Tsunami stopped at a vacant lot. Valet parking of the Goddesses. (in British accent) You're keys to the spaceship, Madam. (as Tsunami) Alright, but be careful, I just got a wax job. (drooling) Tsunami waxxxxxxxeeeeedddd. Pervert. >> The others stopped behind >>her and >>waited for something to happen. It didn't take long. Did Tenchi perspire again? (as nervous Tenchi) Eh-heh heh, I'm just kinda nervous. >>Clouds filled the sky and the sound of thunder could be heard. Kami's back? >>A >>bolt of >>purple lightning hit the lot in the dead center and the air began to >>ripple. (as Tenchi) Hey, what's this bag of Lay's doing in the middle of the ring. (as Seriyo/Homer Simpson) Potato chipsssss.huhuhuhu. >>When it all cleared there was a group of people standing there, with a >>strange >>woman sitting on a thrown in the middle of them. They got her while she was on the can? No, I think they saved her from being thrown from somewhere. Typo. WE KNOW! >Nobuyuki: Let me get this straight. A strange woman was sitting when >she was suddenly thrown in the middle of a group of people? >Vegeta: He didn't mean that type of thrown. We know. >>Tsunami and Washu gasped and at the same time said, "Tokimi." Oh great. Does Washu even know Tokimi? I thought she lost her memory when she was little. She did. >> Tokimi stood up and looked at them. "Welcome to Mortal Kombat." >Ivy: Okay everybody! Break time! >All: YAY!! What?! They get breaks?! Oh boy. >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >*Ivy sits in Vegeta's lap feeding him chocolate as he smirks to >himself. O_O!; Um.no, Austin Power's chocolate joke, right? (Vegetta nods) >Duo sits beside them devouring a giant basket of nachos. Wufei >and Nobuyuki sit across from them. Wufei has his arms crossed and >glares at Ivy while Nobuyuki sips a soda* What kind? Vegetta. (Vegetta fries her with a energy blast) >Duo: Hey what are you going to do about Bulma? >Ivy: I was thinking about dropping her into subspace or a black hole >and replacing her with Washu. ...... (looks over to Vegetta powering up) If this keeps up, Vegetta will make it to the fifth level. What would that look like? I'm sure he'll think of some form. >Wufei: You are a disgrace. >Ivy: *charges an energy blast* Don't even get me started with you Chang >Wufei. I thought it was Wufei Chang. No, I'm pretty sure it's Chang Wufei. I'll look into it. >Vegeta: I've been wondering.how exactly is it that you can power up and >have a Saiya-jin signature to your power level? Yeah.how? >Ivy: You see I found all 7 dragon balls one time and I thought it >really sucked that no female Saiya-jins survived the planet's >destruction, so I wished for the Eternal Dragon to make me into a >Saiya-jin. ..That explains it. How is it that everyone else can find the Dragon Balls except for ME?! >Wufei: *face faults* You mean to tell us.? >Ivy: I am the last female Saiya-jin in the entire Universe!! Big deal. Well Vegetta, looks like you two are going to have to keep your race going. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?! I'm mostly Saiya-jin right now.maybe I can. (grabs his neck and squeezes HARD) Anime characters, YES! BUT NOT REAL PEOPLE! CHOKING! >Vegeta: Let's see your tail then. >Ivy: I had to have it cut off temporarily after destroying the city >during a full moon. (to JS) Hey that's right. If you're apparently a Saiya-jin, you should have a tail, shouldn't you? (A tail slithers into view behind the seat) O_O! (smiles evily) How do you think I made it to fourth level? I am frightened at your stupidity. (rests his head in Asuka's cleavage) This thing doubles as a "play" toy. *KONG!* >Others: Yeah.right. >Ivy: OK, everyone back into the theater. >*All march back into the theater* Left! Left! Left, right, left! >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ >>Serio vs. Reptile Oh yeah, he's dead. Dead doesn't even describe it. >Ivy: Don't forget our bet Maxwell. >Duo: I won't and don't try to back out of it when you lose. Um, Ivy's the one who said Seriyo would die, right? (Others nod) Better give up those Duds now Duo. >> Tokimi looked over the group on at a time. All of them, even Washu, >>felt an >>almost uncontrollable urge to bow to the woman before them and offer >>up their >>souls to her with a smile. .......(as Dr. Evil) Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. >Duo & Nobuyuki (as Wayne & Garth): We're not worthy! No, you sure aren't. (to JS) Looks like they've been copying off of you. Everyone wants a piece of me. (others stare at him nervously) >>Tenchi realized that this was what it was like to >>meet a full goddess. A full Goddesses?! I don't even though what a half Goddesses is! >> With a supreme effort everyone managed to remain >>standing, >>and only by looking at Tsunami. Oh yeah.I'm confused. >>"I assume you have been informed of the rules?" THOSE AREN'T THE RULES! SHUT UP! >>Tokimi asked. They >>all nodded. >>"Then there is no need for formalities. If you lose this galaxy is >>mine. Wait. I thought you only controlled the planet! ARGH! THE AUTHOR'S SCREWIN' UP HIS ALREADY SCREWED UP RULES! >>My >>people will be challenging you and will choose where you fight. The >>rest of you >>will be able to watch, but not interfere once it has begun. >Wufei: Hey those sound like the terms used when Vegeta fought Android >18, and didn't she.? Go on. >Vegeta & Ivy: * power up a large ki blast* >Wufei: ^.^;; never mind. That's what I thought. >>If anyone attempts >>to cheat you will be kicked out and someone else will have to fight in >>your >>place. If this would be any other anime tournament, you'd be dead. >> Now unless there are any questions, let us begin." >> A man in a green and black ninja outfit stepped forward and walked >>towards >>them. BYE SERIYO! IT WASN'T NICE KNOWING YOU! >> Before he could reach them Serio stepped confidently forward. >>The ninja >>looked at him, his expression unreadable behind his mask. "I am >>Reptile. I >>challenge you to Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?" (as Seriyo) Of course I accept, being as I'm the most powerful mortal in the universe, and since you seem to be weak judging by your appearance, I shall not use my full power, so as not to embarrass you in front of your savior and. Shut up. >> Serio smiled and nodded. "I accept." >All: *chants* Reptile's going to kill Serio. (chanting) Yes, we, know-ow >>They both vanished and a glow appeared above Tokimi's throne. As it >>came into >>focus everyone could see Serio and Retile You know, this floor does need retiled. Weak. >Nobuyuki: Retile? What happened to the lizard man? >>stood facing each other on >>scaffolding, >Duo (as scaffolding): You guys weigh a ton! >Wufei: That was so lame. We have surpassed those jokes. (unbeliveingly) Uh-huh. >>over a vat of green liquid. Hey! I thought you said this wasn't a lemon! Seriyo apparently couldn't wait to start. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! >> Tokimi's voice filled the area. >>"Begin!" >> Serio drew a sword that looked similar to the master key and faced >>his >>opponent. Reptile took a stance facing him and they began slowly and >>carefully >>moving towards each other. (Everyone starts humming the Tango) >> Suddenly Serio rushed forward swinging his >>sword with >>precision. (JS goes to say something) No. >> Tenchi and the others had to admit, he was pretty good. But >>Yosho and >>Tenchi began to see flaws in his technique as the two fought. Could it be the fact he's swinging the sword aimlessly and Reptile has yet to move from his spot? >Vegeta: This is pathetic. >Wufei: This is sad. >Duo: This is weak. >Ivy: This is distasteful. >Nobuyuki: I think my coffee is pretty good, thank you. (All facefault) Now that's.comedy. >>Reptile was doing >>wonderfully, dodging Serio easily. >> Then the pink haired wuss began to get the upper hand. >All: WHAT?!! >>Reptile was backed to >>the edge of the scaffolding. Does anyone know the words to "Living on the Edge?" No. Sorry. >> Serio stopped and looked at him. "Do you >>surrender?" >>Reptile looked at him calmly... and vanished. (as Reptile) Now for my next magic trick. >>Serio looked around >>himself in >>every direction. Next to him Tenchi heard Kiyone talk to Mihoshi, "I >>think I can >>still see Reptile's shadow. See right there?" o_o;; Let me guess.Reptile's invisible, so you can't see his shadow, right? o_o;; Yeah. >> Tenchi and the others looked where she was pointing and saw >>something move. Calm thoughts.calm thoughts.when reptile does that, you CAN'T see him. The basic thing to do, is to attack aimlessly. Than.he's basically won then. (closes his eyes, rubs his temples) I don't know, I just play the games. >>Serio suddenly jerked back and grabbed his jaw. Then again and again. >>Serio >>jumped back and swung his sword. (as Reptile) MY, what a big sword you got there! (The others stare at him nervously) (whispers in JS's ear) You're doing it again. >> Reptile appeared again, dodging the >>sword. >>Serio laughed and began advancing again. >Ivy: How can someone choose to be so dense? You can't. >Wufei: I don't know. Ask Duo. >Duo: Yeah that's right ask.HEY! >>Reptile grabbed the side of his mask and pulled it off, revealing a >>lizard - >>like face. (whispers to Asuka) I know a Komodo Dragon that's a bit hungry for some fish. (smiles) Unfortunately, it's not capable of hunting for itself. OW! >>Serio was so surprised that he took a step back. In fact >>several of >>the people around him gasped too. (as Kiyone) It's hideous! (as herself) It's disgusting! (as Tenchi) It defies everything good! (as Ayeka) It's downright terrifying! (as Mihoshi) And Reptile's pretty ugly too! (Everyone snickers) >Nobuyuki: How did more people get on the scaffolding? >Vegeta: I have no idea. >>Then Reptile opened his mouth and spit in >>Serio's face. (in spanish accent) I spit on you. *Pooey!* >All (except Vegeta & Ivy): OH THAT'S JUST NASTY! .... Why aren't Vegetta and Ivy disgusted then? (shaking his head) I really don't want to know. >>Serio dropped his sword and screamed. (as Seriyo) My beautiful pink hair! NOOOOOOOO! >>The acid Reptile had spit on him >>ate >>away at half his face, letting skin and blood drip onto the steel >>grating at his >>feet. Woah. That's one close shave. >Ivy: *begins eating a jumbo tub of popcorn* With a lot of butter I hope. And what does that mean? Absolutely nothing. ^_^;;; >Duo: *turning green* How can you eat seeing that? >Ivy: What? It's only acid eating at Serio's flesh causing bloody gore >to drip slowly onto steel grating. (nod their head) Yeah, that's about it. >Duo: *looks ill* >Ivy: Computer, Duo's going to need a barf bag. >Duo: *grabs the bag* Thank you.BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!! Ha! We have held our puke's for greater periods of time then you have! Ha! Ha! (to Ranma) You think he's getting real desperate on jokes? Either that, or he has nowhere to put these ones. >>Reptile vanished again. Everyone watched as Serio was lifted into the >>air >>by his invisible adversary (sorry if it sounds like I'm over using the >>thesaurus) At least you use one. >Vegeta: Not enough of you guys use a thesaurus. >Wufei: I agree. I second the motion. And I'll third it. I've seen a great many of horrible DBZ lemons out there. >>and was literally ripped to pieces, which fell into the vat below >>him. Geez, you don't have to fall apart over it. Child's play. >Duo: *looks at the screen* BAAAAAAARRRFFFFFF! >Ivy: *pats his back* Poor baby. I thought she was into Vegetta. Well, you know teenagers and their raging hormones. And WHO, did I find last night going through websites of Sailor Moon hentai? *FLUSH!* >>The image faded and Reptile appeared with the others by Tokimi. The >>goddess >>stood up from her thrown and looked them over, no longer smiling. I thought she WANTED to control the planet, or universe, or something like that. >>"Flawless >>victory." > >>Mihoshi vs. Subzero (Ranma starts humming Taps) (going SSJ2) Mihoshi's not going to die while I'M around! >Nobuyuki: Dear sweet Mihoshi is going to be killed? >Duo: So "Nobuyuki's Secret" is true? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (quickly looks at everyone else) Nobuyuki's what? (Others stare at him REAL nervously) >Vegeta: There is no way this weakling is a Super Saiya-jin!! >Duo: I didn't mean that. Eh? (loom around him) WE ARE NOT REVIEWING THAT STORY! WE ARE NOT! What story? (Others face-fault) >>Tenchi and the others were unnerved. That had been one of the single >>most >>horrible things they had ever seen. I don't know about that. Plate of Sashimi? (turning light green) Yeah. >Duo: I know it was for me. >Ivy: I thought it was kind of cool, even though more detail could have >been put into it. What do ya'll say about us doing a dark fic next? Well we have to stay with regular fics, since someone here is afraid of the dark. (pats JS on the shoulder) (blushes) Leave me alone. >Wufei & Vegeta: YEAH!! >Duo: Oh noooo. >>Aeka was visibly shaking. Ayeka, how many times have we told you not to use a vibrator when... *KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!* (through loudspeakers) Pig. >>Mihoshi was >>whining to Kiyone about not wanting to fight the monsters while Kiyone >>tried to >>calm her down. Just put some food in front of her and she'll be fine. Not after she fights Sub-Zero, though. >> Tenchi was watching the other side to see would come >>forward >>next. It didn't take long. >> A man in a blue ninja suit, OH NO! IT IS KUNO! (Thunder rumbles overhead) Didn't the weather man say it would hot and sunny today? >> very similar to Reptile's began walking >>towards >>them. Everyone watched as he stopped in front of them and looked them >>over, >>walking slowly down the line. Finally he looked into Mihoshi's eyes. And a cold chill ran through her back. Oh never mind, it's just Sub-Zero. *BAM!* (Asuka removes her mallet) >>"I am >>Subzero and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat." >Vegeta: Sure.choose one of the weakest people around. Then pick Sasami. No. She's backed up by a Goddess, remember? >>Taking a slow breath Mihoshi nodded. "I accept." As she and Subzero >>began to >>vanish Mihoshi took one last look at Kiyone. "Kiyone, if I don't come >>back I >>want you to know that..." Isn't Overstreet a big Miho-Kiyo fan? Well, we're about to find out now. >>Once again the image appeared above Tokimi. >>"I love >>you." Mihoshi finished. (as Mihoshi/Ed)............Hug me! Okay, now you're just picking jokes out of the trash. >> Kiyone bit her lip, watching Mihoshi and whispered, "I love you too >>Mihoshi." >Nobuyuki: WHAT?! Kiyone and Mihoshi are lesbians? ......... Isn't Nobuyuki the pervert of the show? >Ivy: They're only the oldest known couple in anime. God Nobuyuki, you >can't even keep up with the events in your own home. Oh he's pretty up to date when something happens in the house he can get on film. Like the time I git drunk with...(freezes when she realizes everyone is staring at her) (rests his chin in his hands) Please go on. >>In the image Mihoshi looked at Subzero nervously. "Now how does this >>work?" (All face-fault) >All: *fall down anime style* (quickly get back up) FALL DOWN ANIME STYLE??????!!!!!!! (Face-fault again) >Nobuyuki: That's Mihoshi for you. ^.^ >>Subzero laughed. "Let me show you." He held out his hand and a beam of >>ice >>shot towards Mihoshi. If Mihoshi says, "Freeze! You're under arrest!" I'm going to scream. >> Letting out a squeal she ducked and it hit the >>wall behind >>her. The stone froze, and then cracked into tiny pieces. >> Mihoshi looked up at him. "Please don't do that. I catch cold very >>easily." (from the floor) Well, I'm glad she's sorta in character. >> The people around Tokimi laughed, while Tenchi and the others >>watched her. If this were any true story, they would be picking themselves off the ground from a face-fault. >>Mihoshi pulled out her gun and pointed it at Subzero, firing it in >>time to >>shatter the ninja's next ice beam. ........... >Duo: A bullet shattered an ice beam? >Wufei: I feel your confusion. (with Wufei) I feel your confusion. >Ivy: Look at it this way.we only have 10 more pages to MST. >Vegeta: You mean to tell us we are reviewing a fan-fic that is almost >20 pages long? That's nothing, we had one that was at least a hundred. (to JS) We did? Tha Assassin-A-Thon. Oh yes, how could I forget that? We spent the entire day looking at his stupid stories. >Ivy: O.O;;; Oops, did I forget to mention that? >>Subzero aimed his other hand at the floor, freezing a path between his >>and >>Mihoshi's feet. Mihoshi looked down, then slipped falling onto her >>butt. "Ouch!" Oh, you hurt Mihoshi! Now you die! >> Subzero slid across the ice towards her. Reaching down he picked her >>up by her >>uniform and pulled her to his face. >Ivy: Is he going to kiss her before sending her to an icy death? Then Sub-Zero would be a deformed member of the Amazons. (from you-know-where) No make fun of Amazon! That has to be coming from somewhere in this castle. >Nobuyuki: You are too mellow-dramatic. >>"Now you die." In his right hand a very >>sharp ice cycle formed. He raised it up for the killing blow. Phew. I thought he'd be using it for something else. (Others stare at him...SICKLY!) [HA! Caught ya' on that one!] >> Kiyone watched in horror, letting out a small sob. "Mihoshi... no." >>Yosho put >>a hand on her shoulder. (as Kiyone) You're not making me feel any better. (as perverted Yosho) No my child, but I on the other hand am ecstatic. >> In the image Mihoshi suddenly sneezed and two small globs of spit >>hit Subzero >>in the eyes. (in spanish accent) I spit on you! Pooey! >Duo: First Reptile, now Mihoshi. Is everyone going to spit at their >opponents in this thing? (JS starts making snorting sounds, then pulls his head back, but Asuka puts her hand over his mouth) You spit in my hand, you will meet a fate worse then death. >>He immediately dropped the ice and Mihoshi, backing away from her. >>"Ah! My eyes!" >> Mihoshi looked up. "I'm sorry, I told you I catch cold easily. Are >>you >>alright?" Even in the times of war, she can still be polite. She makes me sick. >> Subzero moved his hands away from his eyes. Mihoshi gasped as she >>saw that >>they were completely frozen over, just like the wall had been. So...Mihoshi has frozen boogers? (Others stick out their tongue in disgust) >>"Oh I'm >>sorry." >> Subzero smiled >Vegeta: He has on a mask right? >Nobuyuki: Yes. >Vegeta: So how do they know he's smiling? >Nobuyuki: I guess you can see it in his eyes. ^_^ (smacks him upside the head) Remember what happened last time? >_< >>and shook his head in amazement, just before his eyes shattered >>sending shards into his brain. There shall be no jokes on brain freeze while I'm around! Ahhhh... >> Slowly he sank to the ground, blood >>dripping from >>his eyes. (JS turns a pale white and passes out) I guess he has a problem with eye puncturing. (revived, stares lovingly into Asuka's eyes) My eye's should be punctured for gazing into such beauty. (Asuka's face goes bright red, a bunch of "Awwww's" come from the back of the theater, everyone stares back there nervously) (bug-eyed) That was creepy. >Duo: *turning green again* Not again. >Ivy: It's not that bad, and you call yourself Shinigami. Well he kills all of his enemies in mobile suits, he has reason to be sick. Now if you're Vegetta, who takes quite pleasure in blasting someone to pieces... (pride showing) You have no problem with it. You have a little pride on your face. Oh sorry. (rubs it off) >>The image vanished and Mihoshi appeared with the rest of her friends. >> Tokimi looked at her. "You win." (as Xellos [once again, same voice and all]) Well you don't have to sound so sad about it. >> Kiyone threw her arms around Mihoshi and held her tight. Mihoshi >>hugged her >>back. "I was so scared Kiyone." (as Mihoshi) I could have caught pneumonia. (Everyone else snickers) >> "Me too Mihoshi..." Kiyone said. > >>Kiyone vs. Kano That big guy with the robotic eye? >Wufei: I hope Kano tears Kiyone apart. What?! >Nobuyuki: Why would you say that? >Wufei: Because she's a stuck up bitch. WHAT?! >Nobuyuki: I think you're mistaking her for Ayeka. Oh, that's more like it. *KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKK KKKKK!* >>As Kiyone and the others congratulated Mihoshi on her defeat of >>Subzero, >>another person detached himself from the other group and walked up to >>the >>others. (as Kano) Hold on, I just have to unbuckle this last strap to detach myself. >> His right arm and half his face seemed to be made out of a >>silvery >>metal. Oh, his whole right body, got it! >> His right eye glowed red as he looked over Kiyone. His eyes >>stopped on >>her badge and he grinned. (sarcastically) I'm sure he's looking at the badge. >Duo: I think he's just checking out her breasts. You don't just say it out loud! You have to improvise! Vegetta did a great job! (starts bowing) Thank you. Thank you. >Ivy: *takes out her mallet and hits Duo in the head* >Duo: @.@.that.hurt. >>"A cop, I like killing cops. (as dumb Kano) Killing cops are fun. What are cops? >> Maybe I'll have a little fun with you >>before I >>kill you. Bet you'd like that huh?" (Everyone goes to say something) >Ivy: *lifting her mallet* No one says a single word. Ah shucks! >Guys: O.O;;; >>Kiyone glared at him, waiting for him to issue the challenge. He >>laughed and >>smiled at her. "Fine, then here it goes baby. (as Austin Powers) Yeah baby! Yeah ah ah ah ah ah! >>My name is Kano and I >>challenge >>you to Mortal Kombat." (as Kiyone) Okay. (as a gun) *BANG!* I win. >> Kiyone looked at Mihoshi who smiled back at her. "I'm sure you can do >>it." (smiles) I'm sure she can. (bops him in the head) Baka. >> Kiyone turned back to Kano. "I accept." >> Kiyone found herself standing on a sidewalk. The sky was dark and the >>area >>around her was quiet. Too quiet. >>She looked around for Kano, but couldn't see him >>anywhere. Kano can become invisible? (smiles wide; sarcastically) No he can't! >> "Where are you?" She yelled out. >>Suddenly something heavy hit her from behind, sending her flying >>forward. Now I know you're allowed to use weapons but that's just sick. o_O;;; >> From >>behind her she heard Kano say, "Right here cop." >Wufei: "Right here cop"? Out of all the clever things he could have >said that's the best he could come up with? He's fighting against an armed cop, with no special skills whatsoever... Not to mention he's a convict. >Nobuyuki: Well he is a convict so he couldn't be too smart now could >he? >Wufei: Why do you say that? (with Wufei; to JS) Why do you say that? >Nobuyuki: The truly smart criminal never gets caught. (with Nobuyuki; to the others) The truly smart criminal never gets caught. Oh... ...............O_O;;; >Wufei: You sound like you know this from experience. >>Kiyone looked and saw him holding a trashcan over his head. Are you implying that Kiyone is trash? She can't be, she's a low level cop, so she can't be that. (turns to camera) Reference to "10-Chi Clan" everybody. >>It had a >>dent in >>the side about the size of her head. (sarcastically) No, really. >> "Not one for fair fights are >>you?" She >>asked. >> Kano laughed and threw it at her. "Nope, never seemed like a good >>idea to me." Marvel at Kano, the intellectually-challenged cyborg. One would think half of your brain as a computer would make you a bit smarter. That didn't stop Android 17 though. Not a big 17 fan, are you? Nope. >> Kiyone rolled away before the can could hit her and was quickly on >>her feet. >>Kano charged her, swinging his metal arm straight towards her face. >>Kiyone >>ducked and grabbed his arm, pulling at it so that his momentum took >>him into the >>wall. >Ivy: Hey Duo. Kano looks just like you when Vegeta threw you into the >wall. >Vegeta: *snickers* >Duo: *pouts* Leave me alone. Stand up for yourself Duo. You are the "God of Death." I think he's the "Pawn of Slavery" now. >>His arm slid through the brick easily, but his face hit the wall with >>a >>metallic clang. (as Ed) Yep, there it goes....Yep, my brain stopped. >> Pulling out of the wall Kano turned back to Kiyone who had her gun >>pointed at >>him. "What do you think you're going to do with that thing sugar?" (as Kiyone) Gonna make a little cake, honey. (everyone snickers) >> Kiyone looked at him coldly and pulled the trigger. A yellow beam >>shot out and >>hit Kano in the metal part of his face, then bounced into the side of >>the >>building, blowing a hole in it. Oh great, now the inanimate objects are getting horny. *BAM!* (holding his nose) Oohh! I tink you boke ma nose! (gently) Oh, I'm sorry, let me see. *CRACK!* (twitching in pain as Asuka squeezes and twists) OOOOOWWWWW! >> Kano cursed and held up his arm to >>block the >>shot that followed. Even so, one hit him in the other arm, opening a >>three-inch >>hole. Look guy's, a hole-in-one. Actually it more of a par three. >> Bleeding he ran into the alley with Kiyone on his heals. I thought she wanted to kill him. Looks like he got rid of the thesaurus. >Vegeta: Something like a three-inch hole is nothing to send someone >running. If there was a three inch hole in my body, I would be running. Asuka, you pilot an Eva, three inches is nothing. >Ivy: Yes Vegeta, we all know how you would have torn her heart out and >laughed at her as she slowly fell down at your feet in a giant pool of >her own pathetic blood. ............. (nods) Yeah, that's Vegetta. >Vegeta: You know me too well. >>When she turned the corner Kiyone got a metal fist in her face. >All: OOOOOOoooooo. Is that more of a surprised "Ooooooooo," or a painful, "Ooooooooow?" >>Dropping her >>gun she jumped back, holding her forehead. She couldn't see anything; >>there was >>blood dripping into her eyes. Oh this makes my problem a lot better. >> Kano laughed and stepped out of the >>alley after >>her. "Little pig lost her gun huh? "Little pig?" (as Zorak) Screw you porkchop! >>Well lucky for you I've found it." >> Kiyone angled her head towards the sound if his voice and smiled. >>"You >>wouldn't dare." Why is she smiling? Kiyone's got something up her sleeve! >> Kano laughed. "Oh really?" He pointed the gun at her, and then >>pulled the >>trigger. A huge explosion engulfed his body, shattering his eye before >>the fire >>consumed the human parts of him. And Kiyone was not affected by this? Author has a little bit of common sense. >> Kiyone wiped the blood from her eyes >>in time to >>see Kano's arm and the metal part of his face land at her feet. >Ivy: Wow, nice effects. >Duo: *dry heaves* (Everyone chuckles) (golf claps) She's getting better. >>Smiling she >>crushed it and watched as the red light of his eye slowly dimmed. (as Kano) I'm fading! I'm fading, oh what a world... >> Kiyone turned and found herself with her friends again. Mihoshi >>hugged her >>first, followed by the others. "You were terrific Kiyone." Mihoshi >>said. (as Mihoshi) And the fight was pretty good too. *KLANG!* Klang?! (Asuka holds up an iron mallet) >> Washu nodded. "Pretty smart using the biosensors in your gun like >>that." >> Tokimi looked at Kiyone from her thrown. "You win." >> >>Ryo-oki vs. Motaro An animal/spaceship versus a centaur, oh this should be good. >Vegeta: He's actually going to have the cabbit fight? >Wufei: I bet it gets stepped on. (Everyone snickers) You're doing pretty good, but you gotta get more out of us than some snickers. (holds up a candy bar) How 'bout a Kit Kat? (Others stare at him nervously) (to Asuka) That joke was bound to come up eventually. >>Tenchi and the others stared as a huge monster headed towards them. It >>had >>huge ram-like horns in it's head and a thick tail. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MINK THAT WAY?! Oops, sorry, Motaro, right? (He sheepishly sits down) What was that about? Well, the second Mortal Kombat movie sucked ass big time, so I forgot about him. >>Aside from that it >>looked a >>lot like a centaur. (sarcastically) YOU'RE A GENI-ASS! >> It came over and looked them all over, then >>snorted. "None >>of them look to be worth my time." Ha! Who got their butt wooped by a person at half his strength? >> Aeka was about to say something when Ryo-oki hopped forward. "Meow, >>meow >>myah!" >> The creature looked down at the little cabbit confused. Ryoko >>smiled. "She >>said she is Ryo-oki and she challenges you to Mortal Kombat." Getting called out by a cabbit. I bet he feels embarassed now. >Ivy: Yeah Ryo-oki! Kick ass! (as Kyle) Sweet! (as Cartman) I want Cheesy-Poofs! >Duo: She's going to be killed. >Ivy: I bet you double or nothing on our bet that she'll blow Motaro to >kingdom come. >Duo: Four boxes of Milk Duds? *shakes her hand* You're on! Does he have any common sense at all? (JS starts writing in a notebook) >>The monster laughed. "Fine, if she wishes to die. I Motaro, accept." >> Tokimi smiled, "As the challenger Ryo-oki may choose where to >>fight." HOLD ON! Who's to say Motaro's the champion already?! >> Ryo-oki thought about it, and then meowed at Tokimi. The goddess >>nodded and >>both she and Motaro vanished. (singing) TIME WARP! >> Tenchi turned to look at Ryoko, "Think >>she can do >>it?" (as Ryoko) Well I kinda noticed she was in...OOOOOMPH! (Ryoko and Asuka both punch him in the face) >> Ryoko smiled confidently. "I doubt farm boy there will last two >>minutes." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! FARM BOY! HAHAHAHAHA! >Vegeta: You think the cabbit stands a chance? >Wufei: I seriously doubt it. >Ivy: She'll win!! Yeah! Go cabbits! >>Ryo-oki appeared facing off against Motaro. They were on an asteroid >>floating >>in space. (as Motaro) Waitaminute! This isn't an asteroid! It's a giant space turtle turd! (others stare at him nervously) (to JS) Been showing him that MST of Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz, haven't you? >> Motaro looked down at her and stomped his hoof, shaking the >>asteroid >>and causing Ryo-oki to fall over. "This is just pathetic." >Nobuyuki: You're telling me. Who's side are you on old man?! >Duo: Aren't you supposed to be on her side? >>Ryo-oki righted herself and hissed at him angrily. She suddenly jumped >>at >>Motaro. (as Ryo-Ohki/Fujisawa) RYO-OHKI CENTAUR KICK! >> Motaro laughed and flicked his tail, planning to hit her. Ryo- >>oki >>grabbed onto it and bit down hard, taking out a chunk of muscle. Prefer scallops myself. >> Motaro roared in pain and began beating his tail against the ground, >>slamming >>Ryo-oki into the rock. (Everyone cringes each time Ryo-Ohki hits the dirt) >> The cabbit managed to hang on until he flicked >>his tail >>upwards, sending her flying into the air. He bangs her against the ground several times and she lets go with just a simple flick? >Ivy: *smirks* He just made a big mistake. >Duo: Why do you say that? >Ivy: You forget Maxwell.Ryo-oki can turn into a space ship. >Duo:: uh-oh I think Ivy keeps mistaking Duo's intellegence. Next to Quatre and Heero, he's probably the smartest of them all. >>Watching her tiny body disappear into >>the sky Motaro laughed. >> In the sky Ryo-oki let out a long yowl and transformed into a huge >>spaceship. (as Crow) I'M HUGE! >Ivy: See told ya! >>Motaro's laugh caught in his throat. (as Motaro choking) *COFF!* Can't breathe! >>Red energy began to form around >>the tips of >>Ryo-oki's spikes. Then it shot out directly into the asteroid >>shattering it and >>sending Motaro flying into space. It's a long fly ball...HOME RUN! HOME RUN! GO INDIANS! >> As the monster left the atmosphere >>of the >>asteroid he began clawing at his own throat, unable to breath. A few >>minutes >>later his legs stopped twitching and he was totally still. >> Ryo-oki appeared on top of Ryoko's head, meowing happily. (to Ryoko) Is it very sanitary letting her sit on your head like that? Only when she was a little cabbit. She's learned to control it now. >Ivy: *gets up and dances happily* Yeah, in you face Maxwell!! >Wufei: *shakes head* It was only for candy. Least SOMONE gets it. >>Tokimi nodded. "You win." > >>Yosho vs. Baraka (Everyone looks at JS quizically, he gets up) (smiles happily) He's that ugly looking one with all those swords that goes *SHINK!* *SHINK! *SHINK!* >Nobuyuki: Honorable father fights next. >Vegeta: A warrior even in old age. He gains a little of my respect. >Duo: Let me guess.a great honor for a human right? >Wufei: Duo, Yosho is Juraian. However, it seems that Wufei's competetive edge has been replaced by an actual brain. >>The next challenger headed towards Tenchi's group. By now they were >>all >>feeling very confident. This man looked as odd as the others had >>though. He had >>huge metal teeth and long blades attached to his arms. I thought you said he had swords. (shrugs) I thought he did. >>He walked >>straight >>towards Yosho and looked into the 'old' man's eyes. >> "I am Baraka, and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat." Ba! Baraka would say something like this (as Baraka) Mortal Kombat...now! >> Yosho turned to Tenchi and handed him the Master key. "Tenchi, give >>Ryoko all >>of her gems back now." What? >Nobuyuki: Why would he do that? >Ivy: So Ryoko can be at the top of her game in order to destroy her >opponent completely. But I haven't even fought yet. >Nobuyuki: Oh. >>Funaho looked at Yosho worriedly and said, "But that means they won't >>be >>keeping you alive any more." o_O;; (scratch their heads) >> Yosho nodded. "I know, but if I die here it won't matter any more >>and if I win >>I won't need them." @_@ Head...spinning...don't know...which way...is up... Is that any different from any other time? Ow... >> Tenchi took the sword and closed his eyes, concentrating. Suddenly a >>gem >>appeared on Ryoko's neck and right wrist. She closed her eyes as her >>body began >>glowing blue. I think we are safe to say Tenchi has just turned on Ryoko. (Ryoko smiles and nods) >Guys: *look at Ivy suspiciously* >Ivy: I do not have the same power as Ryoko, because I'm Saiya-jin!! >>Yosho's body changed, becoming young again. Aeka looked at him in >>total shock, (JS goes to say something, but Ryoko and Asuka stop him) >>"Yosho you're..." >> Without letting her finish Yosho grabbed the sword and turned back >>to Baraka. >>"I accept your challenge." >> Ryoko was rubbing the gem in her neck as Yosho vanished. Oh this is going to be hell getting this acne off. >>As one the >>group >>turned to look at the image above Tokimi again. "As one?" I think we have refused the idea that you are any sort of a philosopher or English teacher. >> Yosho and Baraka were already fighting. They seemed to be in the >>middle of a >>desert. (reading a sign in the desert) "Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse." .............. >> Yosho swung the sword at Baraka, who actually blocked it with >>his own >>blades. But despite that Yosho was obviously in control of the >>situation. He was >>backing Baraka up step by step, cutting his arms and face in several >>places. (as Baraka) Ha! Your paper sword does nothing do me! As you can see, I got a lot of paper cuts when I was a kid. >> From beside him Tenchi heard Funaho whisper, "Hurry Yosho, you don't >>have much >>time." (singing) Time is...fleeting... >Duo: You know it's hard to make fun of this story. (as preacher) Can I get an Amen brothers and sister?! A-MEN! >Others: Shhhhhhhh. >>Tenchi looked at her confused. "Why doesn't he?" >> Funaho pointed up at him. "Because he won't last. See for yourself." >> Tenchi looked up again and saw what she meant. Yosho's swings had >>begun to >>slow down and a streak of gray was working its way through his hair. >>Wrinkles >>were spreading over his face, turning him into the old man they all >>knew. WHAT?! (grits his teeth in anger as he punches the floor, causing it to rip in two) JURAIN'S...DON'T...AGE LIKE THAT! >Ivy: *begins passing out handkerchiefs* Something tells me we're going >to need these. >> Baraka began to get the advantage, pushing the old man back into his >>own >>tracks in the sand. (singing) Do the Hustle! >> Yosho seemed to be blocking his attacks though, >>until he >>suddenly stopped in his tracks. Baraka was as surprised by this as >>anyone and >>stopped also staring at the old man. >> Tenchi yelled out, "Grandpa, what are you doing?" (as REALLY old Yosho) Oh my hip... >Wufei: Don't tell me he's giving up. >Vegeta: I withdraw my earlier appraisal. >Nobuyuki: How can you be so cold about my wife's father? (as Dark Horse) My wife's father's sister's cousin former roomate's enemy. Have you ever even seen the show? Not one episode! >>Yosho's hair had started to fall out, and his skin was tight around >>his bones. >>He looked almost like Ryoko had when Tenchi had released her from the >>cave. He's turning into a woman?! >> Examining his hand Yosho's face was perfectly calm. The sword >>flashed blue and >>vanished from his hand, appearing in Tenchi's. Yosho turned back to >>Baraka and >>bowed his head, accepting death. And he dies trying to bow. The end. No, according to the author, there is still at least five or so fights left. >Duo: Is this going to be an evil death like before? >Ivy: Nawww, not for Yosho. >>Aeka let out a loud scream as Baraka's blade swung towards Yosho's >>head... it >>never landed. When did it take off? We're just scraping the bottom of the pan. >> Yosho's body crumbled to dust before it hit him and the >>blade >>passed right through. A breeze blew across the sands, taking Yosho's >>remains >>with it. (as a little kid) Mama, when people die, to they turn into dust? (as mother) Only evil scientists and people who don't follow storylines. >All: O.O.... >>Tears fell from Aeka's face. Tenchi put a hand on her shoulder, but >>she >>shrugged it off. Finally she turned to Ryoko. "This is all your >>fault!" She >>screamed. ............. Well that just shoots my whole image of her. >Duo: Now how is that her fault?! >Wufei: Ayeka thinks highly of Ryoko. >Vegeta (as Ayeka): IT'S YOUR FAULT THE EARTH BLEW UP! The Earth blew up? >Ivy (as drunk Ryoko): Ah.stop being a stick in the mud and have some >sake.. > > Funaho stepped in, "No it isn't Aeka. Yosho knew what was going to >>happen." > > Aeka looked at her venomously. Hiss...hiss... >> "How can you say that? You were his >>mother." >Nobuyuki: *shivers* That was cold. >Ivy: *hands him a sweater* (Vertical lines run down the MST'rs back) >> Funaho nodded. "I know. That's why I know that he knew he was going >>to die." Wait, you knew that he knew that you knew he was going to die, or he knew that you knew that Ayeka didn't know that... Shut up. >>Aeka turned away without another word, watching the other group, >>ignoring her >>friends entirely. > >>Washu vs. Smoke All Washu has to do is push a button and POOF! he's dead. >Duo: Hell yeah! Go Washu-chan!! >Wufei: You have a thing for Washu? >Duo: Have you seen her adult form? SHE'S HOT!! o_o...-_-...o_o...-_- (Author's note: Please don't hurt me Ksa! Please don't hurt me!) > > A dark gray robot walked towards them. As it looked at them a thin >>red beam >>slid over each of them. Just be thankful is wasn't a white stream. EEWWW! >> Washu was watching with interest. "It's >>scanning us..." >> The robot's head turned towards her. "Affirmative. Calculations >>complete. >>Mental and physical capabilities means that you would be my most >>dangerous >>opponent. I Smoke, challenge you to Mortal Kombat." (singing) Smoke...on the water! >Vegeta: Hmmm, choosing his toughest opponent first. I could see a >Saiya-jin building a robot like that. >Nobuyuki: *mutters* Yeah if you weren't stupid monkeys. Oh really? >Ivy & Vegeta: *growls* What was that? >Nobuyuki: >.<;;; I didn't say anything. That's better. (JS continues to write in a notebook) >> Washu bit her lip, then grinned and nodded. "I accept, just let me >>slip into >>something a little more comfortable." (JS does a wolf-whistle, Ryoko smacks him upside the head) >Duo: *leans forward on the edge of his seat* >Wufei: *smacks the back of Duo's head making him fall face first on the >floor* >Others: *laugh hysterically* *vertical lines* *tickles Asuka ear* *hits him with mallet* >>Her form wavered and changed to her adult >>self. Then she and Smoke vanished. In a puff of smoke? Don't go there. >Guys: *jaws drop* >Duo: See, what did I tell ya'. >Ivy: *whispers something to Vegeta* >Vegeta: *stares at Ivy* Really.? >Ivy: *nods* yep >Vegeta: *smirks* I'll be there. .......... (singing) Voulez voul que chez avec moi... (holds his hand out) Go on, finish the song. >Duo: What are you two talking about? >> Up in the image Tenchi and the others saw Washu and Smoke appear in >>a >>junkyard. Hey look guys, it's an abandoned Gundam. Do you still have that one you built? Is that an Angel? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (covers her ears) Shh! Not the "A" subject. >> Smoke's rib cage opened revealing missile launchers. He >>fired at >>Washu, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust. >Duo: I thought DBZ had the dust thing patented. >Vegeta: So did I. Please, any show with super powerful beings always dissapear in a cloud of dust. Xellos can, actually any Mazoku can, I've seen Ryoko do it, and Solude from Maze can teleport. >> When it cleared Washu was standing in a glowing energy field. Her >>hands were >>out in front of her, her holographic computer out in front of her. >>"My, you are >>a piece of work. Not as advanced as what I'm used to but you could be >>fun." But don't you already have Tenchi, Washu? (sulks) No, I'm her guinea pig now. Can't wait for the third OVA's. >Nobuyuki: She's going to make him into her sex toy! >Duo: I WANT TO BE WASHU'S SEX TOY!! No you don't... >> Washu pushed some buttons on her computer and Smoke suddenly >>stiffened up. >Ivy: Look Duo- >Duo: Just leave me alone. (singing) Bottle of wine! Fruit of the vine! Why don't you let me come o-ver?! Leave me alone, let me go home! Let me go home, and start o-ver! >>Washu laughed and pushed another button. The robot turned to face the >>people >>watching, then began to do a square dance. (A BIG fruity grin appears on JS's face) (sweatdrop) Do you...have a joke? (singing) Ooooohhhhhh...wop him low and wop him high! Stick your finger in his eye! How long have you been waiting for that joke? Forever! >> Pieces of him began falling >>onto the >>ground, until only one leg was bouncing around. Just die, there's no point trying to survive. >> Washu reappeared next to her friends and smiled up at Tokimi. Tokimi >>snorted >>and smirked at her. "Flawless victory. Though I'm not sure that that >>was >>entirely fair." Amen. >Wufei: I'll say. Where was the violence, gore and other brutally cool >things that make stories such as this bearable? .......I thought that was the stuff we didn't like? No, we don't mind that stuff, it is the bad plots, mindless sex, and the fact you can notice the author has not studied any storyline before writing the fanfic. Oh, so basically what you do? (JS nods) >> Washu laughed. "Fairs are for tourists Tokimi. (Everyone face-faults) (getting up) Rip-off of the Trix commercials everybody. (feet dangling in air) It wasn't even funny. >> Anyway I didn't break >>any >>rules." >> Tokimi nodded. "Yes, I know. You won Washu." > >>Funaho vs. Sheeva Great, arm woman is coming to destroy us. >Nobuyuki: I've always liked her. >Duo: Sheeva? >Nobuyuki: No! Funaho. SHE'S YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN-LAW! There's probably some pervert out there with a notebook and pencil, writing ideas. >Ivy: Extremely old or extremely ugly. Not much of a choice there my >friend. >> Funaho watched as another monster came towards them from Tokimi's >>group. This >>one appeared to be female, But the bulge in her pants quickly disregarded that idea. JOE NO BAKA! *BAM!* >> but not like any girl any of them had seen >>before. >>She stood seven feet tall, had four arms and red eyes. Her skin was >>tan-gold and >>she had three fingers on each hand. Hmmmmmm... (glances at Asuka with chin in his hand, smiling) What? Maybe if I had four arms... *BAM!* >> Her hair came out of the back of >>her >>otherwise baldhead in a long black ponytail. She let her gaze flow >>over Tenchi, >>Ryoko, Aeka, and finally Funaho. >Vegeta (as Sheeva): Hmmmm.which one to make into my pleasure slave for >eternity? ...........Not even I am that bad. Shoot, they thought of it before I did. *BAM!* That's a hit each time he speaks up, for the past three times, let's see if he keeps it up. >Ivy: You're beginning to scare me Vegeta-chan. (buries head in hands) I will never get used to that name. Too bad Bulma wasn't here. >> "I am Sheeva and I challenge you to Mortal Kombat." >> Funaho looked up into her eyes, "I accept." >> Funaho felt a cold breeze hit her in the face. Sub-Zero's back, and he's more perverted than ever! *BAM!* >> Looking around her >>she saw that >>she and Sheeva were standing on the top of a huge stone pillar. (as Funaho/Ryoga) Where on Earth am I now?! >>It was >>square >>and when she glanced over the edge she saw nothing but a dark abyss >>below her. >>Whether it was truly bottomless or not, didn't matter. It was deep >>enough that >>either way if she fell down there. She would not be coming back. And there would be periods. Where they shouldn't have been. Good one. *BAM!* He didn't even say anything bad. (with mallet) I know, I just wanted to keep the streak going. >Wufei: *using an evilly deep voice* There will be NO return for >you.mwahahahaha!! >Duo: And you talk about my sugar level. Since when. >> Keeping an eye on Sheeva, Funaho began circling her, looking for any >>weak >>points. Okay, five bucks on Funaho, and I get to show Asuka how to really handle an Eva. *BAM!* He isn't going to give up. Why not just give in? *BAM!* >>Sheeva merely stood in the middle, watching Funaho closely. >>Funaho moved >>in, getting close to Sheeva with each pass. Finally Sheeva couldn't >>wait any >>more and swung at her. >> Funaho grabbed her arm and flipped Sheeva over her head. (as Funaho/Austin Powers) Judo flip! >>Sheeva >>landed on her >>back, shaking the pillar as she hit. She was still smiling though. >>"Not bad... >>for a human." That bothers me. Funaho is human, yet she has lived as long as any other Juraien. Why's that? Don't know, but I have a feeling we're going to get a lot of e- mails with explanations. >Ivy: She sounds like you Vegeta. >Vegeta: *shoots a ki blast at her* >Ivy: *bats it away creating a hole in the wall* Dammit! What's the matter with you?! Take it like a man...er...I mean a woman...er...I mean a saiyan...er... Ryoko, stop him before his brain overloads. >> Pressing all four of her palms onto the ground, Sheeva shot straight >>up into >>the air. Flipping she landed on her feet. Funaho tried to back up, but >>Sheeva >>grabbed her. I thought she was in the air. New ability maybe? >> "Now it's my turn." Pulling back her fists she began >>punching >>Funaho mercilessly. Funaho kept hitting and kicking Sheeva with all >>her >>strength, but her blows didn't so much as bruise the monster. Funaho attack...kick, punch and scream like a little girl. >Wufei, Vegeta, & Ivy: *stare at the screen at happily eating popcorn* >Now this is what we're talking about. Watching someone get tortured like that? Right. >Nobuyuki & Duo: *going pale then turning slightly green* You guys are >sick. >> This went on for five minutes until Funaho was a limp and bloody >>mess in >>Sheeva's arms. (as Sheeva) Oh no, what have I done? Oh now I remember. >> Sheeva raised Funaho above her head and began walking >>to the edge >>of the pillar. She raised Funaho above her head and looked down into >>the >>darkness beneath her. And she slipped and fell in. >> Suddenly Sheeva stopped and shook her head, dropping the unconscious >>empress >>onto the ground behind her. Looking up at the sky Sheeva yelled out, >>"There is >>no point in killing an unconscious enemy. I choose to spare this one's >>life." WAH! (face-fault) (struggles to get on chair) I would have killed her five times over. (still on ground) We know...we know... >Vegeta: I would have killed her anyway. >Others *rolling their eyes* We know we know! >> Sheeva appeared before Tokimi. Tokimi smiled at her and nodded. "As >>you know, >>I am not Shao Khan. I understand about honor Sheeva. You win... you >>will be >>gaining an additional reward later." (as Tokimi) A manicure and a facial. (as Sheeva) Like that's going to help me. >> She looked at her other remaining >>followers. "But I also don't condone going easy on people just to gain >>my >>favor." They nodded and bowed to her. (as the rest) WE ARE NOT... *BAM!* >> Meanwhile Tenchi and the others were gathered around Funaho. Her >>face was a >>swollen mass of bruises and cuts. (as Funaho) I could have...taken her... >> Her jaw and skull were both cracked >>and her >>arms and legs were all broken. >Nobuyuki: Poor Funaho. >Wufei: Asuza's going to kill you. >Nobuyuki: Why? >Wufei: Everyone knows Funaho is his favorite. She is? Well he did pay more attention to her than Misaki. (muttering) Bastard. >>Tenchi looked at Washu, "Can you help her Washu?" >> The scientist shook her head. "I don't know Tenchi. We will have to >>see. I'll >>put her in stasis until after the tournament. " Pushing a button on >>her >>computer, Washu enveloped Funaho in a green light. "At least... it's >>almost >>over." (tears in eyes) Yes...thank you God... > >>Aeka's disgrace: Ryoko vs. Scorpion >Ivy: I wonder how Ayeka disgraces herself. That could be taken so wrong. >Duo: I think- >Wufei: No one cares what you think. OW! >> A woman dressed in bright green walked towards them. Her face was >>deathly calm >>as she looked over the last three. Hey, I thought this was Scorpion, not Jade. >> Whether it was fate, or just the >>evil plans >>of the author, Evil plans. >> Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi were all that was left to >>fight. Pretty scraggily bunch as far as I can tell. What was that? >Ivy: I vote "evil plans of author" >Wufei: "evil plans" >Vegeta: "plans" >Nobuyuki: "author" >Duo: "fate"? (Everyone face-faults) Duo, the man with the IQ of a sponge. >>The >>others stepped back, allowing the woman a clear view of them. >> Finally she looked at Aeka. How is this...I thought... (pats him on back) Thinking only hurts people like him and you, calm down. (Hugs her) Will you hold me? No. (pushes him away) >> "I am Jade and I challenge you to Mortal >>Kombat. >>Do you accept?" >> Aeka stood up and looked her right in the eyes. "No." HELLO! Ayeka, you should have no problem with her! >Vegeta: SHE RELENTED?! >Wufei: She was sitting? Wufei, observant as usual. >> The others looked at her in shock. "But Aeka..."Kiyone began. >> Aeka shook her head, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I >>just can't >>do it. After what happened to Yosho. Funaho, and Serio... I just can't >>do it." Who cares about Seriyo? He's dead, boo-hoo, celebrate good times. (dully) Come on. >Nobuyuki: I don't blame her. >Ivy: That's because you have no spine. Ow! Geez, they're insulting. > > Jade sneered at her, much the way Aeka always did to Ryoko. "You are >>a >>coward." (as Ayeka) But I'm a LIVE coward. >All (except Nobuyuki): RIGHT ON!!! >>Turning she left Aeka standing there. Aeka couldn't stop crying. "I... >>I couldn't do it... I just couldn't do it!" >> Tenchi put his hand on her shoulder. "Nobody blames you Aeka. Most >>people >>wouldn't have agreed to fight in this." Most people being who? All she can do is punch and kick. >Duo: But since she refused the challenge she didn't agree to fight in >it. Well...yeah, I guess so. >Ivy: That's the smartest thing you've said all day Maxwell, here. >*tosses him a Twinkie* >Duo:*catches it* Oooo, my favorite! >Ivy:*snickers* I thought so. >Duo: Mmmff.? >Ivy: Nothing, enjoy your treat. (finishes writing in notebook) Okay I got it. Duo is nothing more Ivy and Vegetta's insult slave, Wufei is too observant for his own good, we know nothing about Nobuyuki because he's barely said anything, Vegetta's a pimp, and Ivy is God. That's about it. Have a snack. (tosses something behind the seats) Fudge Round! (jumps back there, others shake their head ruefully) > > She shook him off. "No, don't say that Tenchi. I am a coward." > > Ryoko was about to tell her that she wasn't a coward when she felt >>someone tap >>her on the back. Turning she saw a yellow ninja this time. If the next one's pink, I'm gonna scream. >>He looked >>into her >>eyes with blank, white yes of his own. (observe last line) "...blank, white yes of his own." What about the full, black no's not owned by him? >> "I am Scorpion, and I challenge >>you to >>Mortal Kombat. Do you accept?" > > Ryoko nodded. "You bet." Her own eyes glowed yellow, while the gems >>in her >>wrists and neck glowed red. A cat with a bad case of hemmeroids. (He ducks a swing from Ryoko's sword) >> Ryoko blinked and suddenly found herself >>in a >>forest. As long as it's not a cornfield. >> She grinned and looked around. "So you're hiding from me >>Scorpion?" I would. (Ducks a swing) >> From behind her she heard Scorpion yell, "Get over here!" She turned >>to look >>at him and got a spear in her gut. ........... She's dead already? >Vegeta: That must have felt good. I sense no sarcasm in that sentence. You into S&M Vegetta? (face turns red) ABSOLUTELY NOT! >Ivy and Wufei: *stare at the screen silently* >Duo & Nobuyuki: *prepare barf bags* >>"Aaaah!" Looking down she saw a chain >>sticking out of her stomach. (as Ryoko) I think I've had my recommended amount of iron for the day. (Vegetta does a rimshot) >> It began pulling her towards Scorpion. >> Ryoko reached down and pulled the chain out of her stomach. She >>almost lost >>her hand as the spear at the end tried to bite her hand off. (as chain) I killed the man who said, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you"! >>Teleporting away >>she healed her stomach. >>Then she found herself wrapped in Scorpion's >>chains >>again. (looks at Asuka and smiles) Hmmm... *BAM!* >Ivy: *looking dreamy eyed* He's into SM. WHAT?! I thought she was into you Vegetta! Maybe she finally heard what I said, or what he said...ARGH! (Blasts JS) (in pain) Hello... >Guys: 0.0;;; >>"You aren't the only one who can teleport. Let's take this somewhere a >>little >>more fun." Scorpion said. Before she could answer Ryoko found herself >>falling >>into a dark pit. >> She hit the ground hard. Looking around she saw piles >>of >>humanoid bones strewn all around. (as herself) Hey! A wishbone! Make a wish! (eye's closed, rubbing Asuka's...never mind, you get the idea) I wish she doesn't notice this...I wish she doesn't notice this...I wish she doens't notice this. (opens his eyes) Did my wish come true? *BAM! HURT! PAIN!* >>The only light came from fire, >>spitting from >>the walls. Ryoko looked around for Scorpion and saw him on scaffolding >>above >>her. (as Ryoko) I see Paris, I see France... >Duo (as scaffolding): Please get off me. >Nobuyuki: You've done that joke already. >> Ryoko growled and fired a huge ball of energy at him. Scorpion >>disappeared >>before it hit, blowing up the catwalk. How does a cat walk? Don't start that. >>Ryoko looked around and decided >>that >>enough was enough. Closing her eyes her entire body began to glow. >>Blasts of >>light shot from her body in every direction. But they were just lights, and did no damage at all. >> When Ryoko opened her >>eyes again >>all that was left was her, Scorpion, and a huge crater. How huge was it? >> Scorpion looked directly at her and pulled his mask off. His face >>became a >>skull, which opened its mouth, spitting fire directly at Ryoko. (as Scorpion) Ugh! Damn indigestion! >> Ryoko >>laughed >>and swept it aside. "If that's the best you have, let me show you >>something." (singing) My run run run run, run-ons! Oh my God! He actually did a good parody! >> A >>thin Mist began to form in front of her. Ew. >>It grew and swelled until it >>was a blob >>about 30 feet high. (as Scorpion) Geez woman, you should have relieved yourself before you battled! (Ducks yet another swing) >>Suddenly it grew arms and legs. Evil red eyes >>popped into >>existence, looking directly at Scorpion. Scorpion shot out one of his >>chains >>into it, but it had no effect. It actually seemed to pleasure the beast. *BAM!* >Ivy: Death by demonic torture. That is too cool. >Vegeta: Now you're scaring me. (bug-eyed) And I don't scare easily. >> Grabbing the chain the demon pulled Scorpion into the air and swung >>him >>around. >> Finally it threw him into the wall of the crater, cracking his >>skull and >>causing a huge explosion. How does cracking your skull create a huge explosion? He was nothing more than a hot-head. (Vegetta does a rimshot) >> When the fire and dust cleared there were >>two Ryoko's >>giving each other five and bumping hips. "Oh we are bad!" ....... >Wufei: *staring blankly at the screen* Oh yes you are. >Nobuyuki: *waves his hand in front of Wufei's face* Are you ok? >> Tokimi smiled at her as she reappeared. "You win. But be warned, if >>your next >>fighter fails the battle will be between Tsunami and me. I guarantee >>that if it >>comes to that she will not survive." And how do you figure this? > >>Tenchi vs. Shang Tsung >Ivy: Ok people we're almost done here. >All: WOO-HOO!! After four MST's, it loses it's feelings about getting done with. >> Tenchi looked at Ryoko and his remaining family. Funaho's battered >>body caught >>his eye. Without saying anything to anyone he stepped forward, not >>waiting for >>the next person to come meet him. As he did another man stepped >>forward. Unlike >>the others, he seemed to be perfectly normal. Which is a bad thing in this world? >> Tenchi looked him in the >>eyes and >>the man looked back. "I am Shang Tsung. I challenge you to Mortal >>Kombat." >> Tenchi nodded. "I accept." >> Tenchi looked around at the place where he found himself. (covers his eyes and shakes his head) Not the bedroom! *BAM!* *BLAM!* >>It seemed >>to be a >>normal fighting ring, except for the holes all over it. Needless to say, it was a holy fighting ring. (Vegetta does a rimshot) >>In the center >>was a huge >>dragon symbol. Tsung grinned at him. "I see you admire my ring. But >>this is no >>ordinary match. When I defeat you I will get your soul and your power >>boy... if >>you have any." >Vegeta: *yawns* >Duo: What's with you? >Vegeta: Unnecessary talk bores me. >Duo: So your own show must put you to sleep. DUCK! (Everyone ducks under their seats) >Vegeta: *sighs* Yes it does. >>Tenchi shook his head. "I don't plan on loosing." >> With no warning Shang shot his hand forward. (peek an eye open) o_- >>A flaming skull came >>shooting >>towards Tenchi. He managed to duck as the skull exploded behind him. >>Tenchi held >>out the master key, summoning the sword. (getting up) Got lucky on that one. I refrain from what I said earlier, she is WORSE at making me ooc. >> With a shout he ran at Shang >>and swung. >>The sword almost missed him, only cutting the sorcerer's cheek. Alrighty, what'd we miss? Not much, I think Tenchi's winning. I sure hope so, then we can get out of here. >> Shang grabbed his face and cursed. "Not bad, but let's see you stop >>this." >>Suddenly huge spike popped out of the floor and Tenchi was surrounded >>by people, >>who hadn't been there before. "Here are some of the souls I've >>collected." (fakes a cough) *coffripoff!* >Ivy: That is a rather raggedy collection of souls. >Wufei: And I suppose you can do better. >Ivy: *glares* I can add you to my collection if you want. .......... Okay, she has officially creeped me out. >Wufei: That won't be necessary. >>Tenchi looked around at all of them, the fell forward as one kicked >>him in the >>back. What's a fell? The past tense of fall. (Vegetta does a rimshot) >> Another took the sword from Tenchi's hand, the screamed as it >>sent energy >>through him, turning him into a pile of dust. >Duo: "the screamed"? >Nobuyuki: I was about to say the same thing. And they didn't notice "the fell?" >> Unfortunately Shang had stepped between Tenchi and his sword. "What >>will you >>do now?" (as Tenchi) You can get off my hand for starters. >> The warriors around him all summoned different kinds of energy, >>including >>Shang Tsung. (flips his wrist) The souls don't attack...blah blah blah...they're there for distraction...blah blah blah. >> It was all fired directly at Tenchi from every side, and >>the >>blinding explosion that followed engulfed him. Shang smiled and held >>out his >>hand to claim Tenchi's soul. But something was wrong. (JS goes to say somthing) >Wufei: HIS SOUL SUCKING MACHINE WASN'T PLUGGED IN! (JS face-faults) Assassin Ivyrose...2, Joe Smith...0 > As the smoke cleared Shang and his warriors could see a glowing >>shield around >>Tenchi's body. Suddenly there was a flare of light, which evaporated >>all of >>Shang's ghosts. (as Shang) Okay, who let the sun in? (puts her hand over JS's mouth) No. >> Shang watched in shock as the shield moved over >>Tenchi, changing >>his clothes and skin. Tenchi held out his hand and a sword formed in >>it. >Ivy: Hey, he's pulling a Lady Achika. Sorry, Tenchi patented that thing first, then Achika. >Nobuyuki: Look Achika, our son has finally become a man. >Ivy: Not quite. >> Shang laughed, still confident. "Ha, like a simple sword could harm >>me." If Tenchi kills him within five seconds, I'll scream. >>Shang >>held out his hand to fire another volley of skulls at Tenchi. Before >>he could >>Tenchi swung his sword. And stole his comma. >> Shang laughed. "Lot of good that did. You're >>way >>over..." He fell to the ground in two pieces. WHA-?! >>The ring's spikes also >>fell down >>in a triangular pattern from where Tenchi stood. >All: *blink* >Wufei: That. >Vegeta: .was. >Nobuyuki: .just. >Duo: .a little. >Ivy:.anti-climatic. AMEN! I've been sitting here...listening to this stupid story...waiting for at least a BETTER ending, CAUSE THE PLOT SURE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH...AND IT JUST ENDS...LIKE...THAT?! >> Turning Tenchi found himself being hugged by everyone, who told him >>how proud >>they were of his fighting. Ryoko kissed him directly on the lips >>before either >>of them remembered that Aeka was there. (JS starts doing that heavy, mad scientist breathing) Asuka... No...after he watches today's episode of Zoids, he'll be all better. >>But for once the princess >>didn't seem >>interested. Aeka didn't feel she had any more right to insult the >>pirate. >Ivy: Not that she ever had the right in the first place. You go girl! (mad look in eyes) I'm going in my room...I'm going to watch today's episode of Zoids, and see what the S class is. (Storms out of the theater, the others don't bother to stop him) >> Tokimi stood up and looked at Tsunami. "You have chosen your >>champions well >>sister. I will see you next time." (as Tsunami) And don't call us, we'll call you, and I can think of a few things I'd like to call her. >>The clouds faded from the sky and >>as Jurai's >>sun shone down, (singing) Let the suuuun, shine in! >>Tokimi and her followers vanished. >> Tenchi looked at Tsunami, who looked back sadly. "I am sorry >>Tenchi." >> Tenchi sighed. "My grandfather knew what was going to happen. And >>Serio knew >>the risks. It's over now... right?" Did anyone notice that there were only eight battles? Well, Ayeka wussed out, and there was no need for the last fight...I guess. >Guys: We hope so! >> Tsunami nodded. "For now." >Guys: AWWWW MAN!!!! >> Tenchi sat in the living room with Kiyone and Mihoshi on his right >>and Ryoko >>on his left. You know, I almost miss the sound of Asuka malleting Joe for making a perverted comment, if it wasn't for the perverted comment. >> Sasami sat on the love seat with Ryo-oki and Washu. They >>had just >>finished telling Noboyuki what had happened. "Is Funaho alright?" >Duo: We all know why he wanted to know that. >Nobuyuki: *turns red* (eye twitching) It's your damn, GRANDMOTHER IN-LAW! > > Tenchi nodded. "Yes, Washu was able to heal her." > > Noboyuki looked around. "Then why didn't Aeka come back with you?" > > Kiyone looked at him. "Because she was ashamed. She said she needed >>some time >>alone and that she might be back later." She needed to relieve herself. *KKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!* >> Noboyuki was confused and he glanced at Tenchi, "But I thought she >>wanted to >>marry you." >> Ryoko shook her head. "She said watching Yosho die made her realize >>that she >>didn't really love Tenchi like that." >Wufei (as Tenchi): Why don't you want to marry me? >Duo (as Ayeka): After watching the half-brother I wanted to marry die >made me realize I don't love you like that. >Ivy: This really suits you two. Unfortunately, there are a lot of fangirls out there that really believe that. >Vegeta: *snickers* > > Mihoshi, who had been staring at her hand for the last ten minutes >>said, "You >>know it's weird." (as Mihoshi) I have never noticed this before. I can believe that. >> Kiyone looked at her. "What is Mihoshi?" >> "Well we don't age any more, but I don't feel any different. Do >>you?" >> Ryoko snorted. "You think that's weird? How do you think I feel? The >>elder >>gods made me the new Earth goddess of thunder. .......... If Joe were here, he'd have a coronary. No, his head would explode. >>The only good part is >>that Tenchi >>has to run the shrine now so we'll be working together." >> Noboyuki grinned. "What I want to know is, who's going to be >>qualified to >>marry you two to each other?" Here's an idea, how about a priest? >> Tenchi blushed and looked at Ryoko. He had asked her to marry him on >>the way >>back from Jurai. Unfortunately he had forgotten that his father would >>have to be >>told. I am ecstatic, but confused. >Nobuyuki: Why would that be so bad? >Vegeta: Face it. You're an embarrassment. You're awful Vegetta. Hmph! If you want me, I'll be in my room. (He gets up and leaves) >> Sasami giggled. "Tsunami said she'd do it." >> Washu sighed and looked around at them. "Things are going to be very >>different >>now." She was still in her adult form. >Duo: *begins to drool* That's going to stain the apolustry. >Ivy: Stop that! This ship IS new you know! >>"It's going to be so quiet without Aeka >>around." >> Ryoko grinned and put her arm around Tenchi. "In that case we'll >>have to make >>lots of noise, won't we Tenchi?" o_o;;;; >All: 0.0;;;; >>Tenchi's nose bled slightly and everyone else laughed. Kiyone winked >>at Washu, >>"Things haven't changed that much" Oh, there are so many things Joe could have said from that. >>The End >All: YESSS!! *"Celebration" plays on the speakers* >Vegeta: Actually it wasn't that bad. >Duo: It was a lot harder to make fun of. We know, it's even harder to MST both of these things. >Ivy: It was good, but I would have liked to see Sonya do "The Kiss of >Death" on Nobuyuki, causing his body to explode into bloody chunks. I didn't know Sonya was an Amazon. And I don't think the kiss does that. >Nobuyuki: *faints* @.@ >Ivy: Oops, my bad. >>Author's note >> You know, I thought this would be funnier. Don't think it worked. >>I mean seriously, didn't >>you laugh >>at the title? No. >> But once you get to the actual matches it begins to get >>pretty >>repetitive. Rinse, wash, and repetitive. >> While I did get a little humor into this, there is only so >>much you >>can do once the killing starts. ........... >Duo: Tell me about it. >>By the way, if you are a sailor moon fan please >>do not get mad about the Reeny = Serio joke. I think there might be a court hearing about that. >Wufei: Or if you thought it was funny don't say so for the fear of the >wrath of Sailor Mini-moon. ........kay. >>If you can do this better or want >>to MST it, please do; just send me a copy first. If you think this was >>a good >>story, email me at clayton_n@hotmail.com (gets ready to leave) I think you'll be getting a lot of e- mail's with attachments on them. >Ivy: Well thanks for joining us in our first MST. Remember that no one >on this ship belongs to me, even though I wish I could buy Vegeta. Why do you want to own that filthy saiyan? You know he snores at night? >>I >>make no money of doing this, so I have no way to pay anyone if they >>sue. Don't worry, all author's are like that. > I have to figure out to make repairs and the MST author who >thought of The Winner Queen.don't get mad. Get Even!! I want to have a >war with you. After she reads this, she'll be fairly pissed off, especially since he didn't get permission. > Remember to send comments and suggestions to >Ivysaur8500@aol.com (yes I know it's a pokemon so no jokes about it) >Bye!! Bye! Another story...we didn't need to see. (to Ryoko) See? As long as he gets his Zoids, he's content. (smiles evilly) You know he has a thing for Leena? (shrugs) He has a thing for all anime girls. (Everyone starts to laugh...until...) (NOT through loudspeakers) THEY STARTED IT OVER??????????!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?! (sweatdrop, vertical lines, the works) This is going to be hell trying to restrain him. LLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! ************ HA HA! Ha.aw forget it. I'm tired, the guy left no room for jokes, he didn't study any storyline, and the other MST was short and few. I'm going to bed.