All characters (except for me) are owned by their respected companies, and I have no intention of owning them. *************** (The dark castle looms over the barrin wasteland.) *Bong!* (singing) Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.! Keep rollin', rollin', rollin' rollin'.! Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.! (you know the song) Move in now move out! Hands up and hands down! Back up, back up! Tell me what you gonna do now! Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.! Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.! Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'.! (not singing) WILL YOU THREE SHUT UP?! (The record does a screeching hault, the three guys are wearing the Limp Bizkit attire [baggy pants, hats on backwards, you know].they stare at Ryoko and Asuka who are looking at them angerily) You guys could raise the dead! Don't you know that SOME of us are trying to sleep, and not ALL of us stayed awake for twelve hours drinking ten gallons of coffee and watched the three day marathon of Dragon Ball Z! Besides, we got another stupid story to MST, so keep it quiet until then! (look at each other, then at the girls) But we like Limp Bizkit. (The girls growl at them, they admit defeat) (now sitting at a table with the other guys) So Joe, I wanted to ask you, although me Kakkarrot, his two sons, and mine, are the only saiyans in the universe, how the hell can you become a super saiyan? Hmm.well if you really want to know, I found a genie's lamp. (They stare nervously at him) That's the best you could come up with? Shut up. So what were your other two wishes? Well, the other one was for controlling all red mana, I tried for all five, but I wasn't allowed. And the other.? I only got two, it was a economy-fit genie. (The other two face-fault, a rimshot is heard in the background) (walking into the theater) We got a guest. (walking behind her) Fatora suggested this theater. (stares at the other guys) I suppose.being as we're the only ones who haven't killed her. But didn't you leave her in the hands of that Orgg-thing? Please, that's thing too dumb to realize what it was doing. Obedient though. Tell him to attack whatever's in front of him, and he will.as long as you tell him where that is. (The others glare at him) Ugh, okay.that phrased was borrowed by the wonderful people at Wizards of the Coast, off of the card Mogg Flunkies. Good, now get your butts in gear, and get in the theater. (Seating from left to right: Ranma, Asuka, JS, Afura, Ryoko, Vegetta) I'm sure you know what to do Afura. Of course. I'm not new to this. Of course. And to tell you off the bat, (points to JS) he's the hentai. Ah...so should I get my kicks in now? Of course. Hey! Waitaminute! (is lifted into the air by a big gust of wind and thrown against the shielded screen, he's electrocuted and thrown back into his seat) It feels so good to thrash the hentai's (dazed) I didn't even say anything yet. >Tenchi Muyo! and all of the characters in this fan fiction are owned by AIC and Pioneer. I >own nothing, except for the story. Please, don't sue me! Standard disclaimer. Does that mean a standard story? (healed) Not quite. >warning: If you are underage, do NOT read this fic! (get up and wave to the screen) BYE-YI! (A big gust of wind pushes them back into their seats) >**************************************************** >PINK - (singing) Well PINK, is my favorite color. >part one >written by: jim jurai >***** > Beep! Beep! Beep! Someone's backing the school bus into the Masaki home! (start making crash noises) >Tenchi's digital clock alarmed. "Damn!" Tenchi said rubbing his eyes, "Time to go to school." >Tenchi scratched his balls and slowly got out of bed. (scratch their balls) Why'd you guys do that? It's a natural reaction. When we talk about scratching balls and that sort of thing it makes us aware that there thousands of... (mallets him in the face) We get the point. > "Can I help you with that?" Ryoko asked as she grabbed Tenchi's crotch. I need your balls. Except NOW when she says that, she means it. >"Are you crazy, and what the hell are you doing in my room, RYOKO!" Tenchi shouted, "I warned you not to sneak in here like that." Tenchi doesn't warn. He doesn't have the balls to. (Ryoko growls at him) >"Oh Tenchi, don't be upset." Ryoko said playfully, "I was just helping you get rid of the itch." And I'm the Queen of England. (Ryoko splashes some cold water on him, then starts humming Britain's National Anthem) (girl Ranma) Damn this curse. >"I'm fine Ryoko," Tenchi answered. "Now get out while I change my clothes. I need to get >ready for school." (singing) We don't need no education! >"Okay," Ryoko pouted. "Scratch your own balls for now on." He'd love to do that, being as he passes out with loss of blood when anyone BESIDES him does touch his crotch. > "Gladly," Tenchi replied. >Ryoko tele-ported through the floor into the kitchen. (picks up a phone and presses some buttons) Hello...? Jim Jurai...? Yes, yes, I'm sorry I didn't get your permission to MST your fic.... What's that...? Oh, I'm just calling to say that there's no hyphen in teleported.... Eh...? Okay, bye. What'd he say? Couldn't make it out, all he said was @!%$#& and *@%!. >Sasami was busy making breakfast for everyone, and Ayeka was reading a romance novel. (reading book title) A hundred and one ways to get rid of your rival...HEY! (finding some warm water) I know that book, I see it quite often when I'm around Ryoga. What's bothering me is how is it a romance novel? (realizes what he just says and everyone stares at Ryoko and smiles) (blinks a couple times) No... >"So there you are devil woman," Ayeka glared at Ryoko. "Bothering Tenchi again I suppose. >Where were you last night, Ryoko?" Shouldn't "Bothering Tenchi again I suppose." be after "Where were you last night, Ryoko?" >"None of your damn business, Princess Bitch," Ryoko responded as she sat down at the table >and took a sip of tea. > "What did you say?" Ayeka jumped from her chair in a rage. (pulls out a bullhorn) She said... (stuffs his head into the bullhorn) Remember, we're already in trouble with him. (JS nods his head) > "I said none of your damn business, Princess Bitch," Ryoko answered calmly and took >another sip of tea. > "I ought to kick your dumb ass!" Ayeka screamed. Please, Ayeka doesn't swear, she had to stop herself when she was yelling at me in the hot springs, and I think the worst word she said there was insensitive. >Mihoshi stepped into the room just as Ryoko was about to blast the princess. "Has anyone >seen my pink panties and Sailor Moon t-shirt?" O_o (leans closer to the screen) Wh-what was that? >Mishoshi asked, "I can't find them anywhere." >"When did you last see your panties & t-shirt, Mihoshi?" Sasami asked as she sat a plate of >bacon and a pot of coffee on the table. (as Mihoshi) In Noboyuki's bedroom. (Another gust of wind picks him up and throws him against the shield) > Mihoshi scratched her head, "Last night, I put them on after I took a shower, and then... Now >I remember." Mihoshi giggled and ran out of the room. *CRASH!* Mihoshi, you're supposed to open the door. (as Mihoshi) Ouch. > *** > Noboyuki's Bedroom... (Everyone stares in horror at the last line, they look at JS as he heals himself and brushes himself off.then he gets wind blasted back into the shield) We need to start bringing in more powerful women. > "Dammit, Son of a Bitch!" Noboyuki shouted. Why is that capitalized? Beats me, but it better not be for the reason I'm thinking. > "What's wrong Mr. Masaki?" Mihoshi asked as she entered the room. >"This BASTARD VCR just destroyed my favorite porno movie," Noboyuki answered with a >tear in his eye. (healing) Noboyouki stereotype. Can't he find a more interesting hobby? Like reading a book? Oh.he reads. >"Oh my," Mihoshi said sympathetically. "Can't you buy a new copy?" >"I'll try to pick up a new copy after work today," Noboyuki was still upset. RUN ON! That's not really a run-on, but it's close enough. > "Excuse me," Mihoshi said politely as she walked by Noboyuki. "Have you seen my pink >panties and Sailor Moon t-shirt?" (as Noboyuki/Fuji) These damn kids and their anime shows. > "Not since last night," Noboyuki nervously replied. ...... (shocked) Mihoshi.how could you.? > Mihoshi bent over and looked underneath the bed. Noboyuki stared at Mihoshi's perfect ass. Hmm.(makes his hands like a camera).just a little more meat on the right cheek.yeah, then it would be perfect. (others glare at him) What? > "Any luck?" Noboyuki perspired. (as Nobuyuki) Whoops.wet myself. (warningly) Vegetta. > "No," Mihoshi sobbed as she stood up. "I can't find 'em" >*** Hey! Orion's Belt! (stops JS with her hand) No, it does not hold up Orion's pants. (JS moans and sulks) > The Masaki Shrine... >"I see that you are right on time, Kiyone." Yosho said as he filled a bucket with water. Woah. That's one HELLUVA long piss! SHUT UP YOU BAKA! > "Yea, I'm here," answered the teal haired galaxy policewoman. "Now give me the mop, so I >can hurry and get this over with." Why am I having a remembrance of the fic Nightmare? >"Ahh, ahh, ahh, we must be patient if we ever wish to accomplish anything in life," (sarcastically) Everyone marvel at Yosho, the Japanese philosopher. >the old man warned. "Besides, a mop won't be sufficient for todays chores. You must use this >scrubbing brush, so the shrine will be spotless." (JS smiles evily) What's with you? (He continues to smile) >"You expect me to clean the entire shrine with that little brush?" Kiyone asked. (as Yosho) Fine, I'll go get a toothbrush. > "Well Kiyone, it is your turn to help with the shrine, and none of the other girls complained," >Yosho answered. (surprise) Ryoko. (ditto).not complain.? Shut up. > "I find that hard to believe," Kiyone responded as she grabbed the bucket and brush. "May as >well get started." > "Just a moment," Yosho interrupted. "First, you must put on your work clothes." (as Kiyone) A Sailor Moon T-shirt, and pink panties, what the hell?! (goes to hit him but stops) You're probably closer to the truth than anyone of us will admit. > "I'm already wearing my old clothes." (as Yosho) But you're not showing enough cleavage. I WILL hit you for that one! (hits him) >"This job requires special work clothes," Yosho explained. OooOOoooh...specical! Shut up! >"You've got to be kidding," Kiyone sat the bucket on the ground and crossed her arms. "This >is a bunch of bullshit." I don't got bulls. (everyone glares at him) > Yosho stepped into the shrine, and returned with pink panties and a Sailor Moon t-shirt. .............. I was just joking. (gets wind blasted into the screen) There'd better be something to cover up the panties. >"Just put this outfit on, and you'll be ready to go," Yosho grinned. I don't like that grin. Yeah, it's the same grin Bulma gets right before... WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE! > "This is ridiculous," Kiyone sighed. > *** > "Oh no," Tenchi whispered to himself. "I'm going to be really late for school, today." Tenchi >rushed from his room and down the stairs. !!!CRASH!!! Ooh...that gotta hurt... >"Dammit, Son of a Bitch!" Hmm...more capitalized words. Has he been taking lessons from Tank Cop? (find some way to belt him) DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS! > Tenchi shouted as he fell from the stairs onto the living room floor. > "What happened, Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka asked as she ran into the room after hearing the loud >racket. (JS holds a tennis racket over the floor, and drops it) Nope, not that loud. (Everyone else gets a sweatdrop) > "I broke my fucking leg that's what fucking happened!" And yet some more wonderful OOC. Almost as bad as the Assassin...almost. >Tenchi was in so much pain that he didn't realize what he was saying. > Ayeka was horrified when she saw Tenchi's mangled left leg. "Oh my," Ayeka lamented as >she placed her hands over her mouth and ran into the kitchen. *WHUMP!* (as Ayeka) Ow... Sorry, we don't really like those jokes. Sorry. What did you hit anyway? (Everyone looks over to JS with a mallet embroidered in his skull) I'm beginning to like her. > "Someone call 911!" Ayeka was beginning to have a nervous breakdown. >"What happened, Ayeka?" Sasami questioned her older sister. He broke his fucking leg, that's what fucking happened. > "Tenchi broke his fucking leg, that's what fucking happened!" .............. (as Californian) Cool. >Ayeka didn't realize what she was saying because of the horror of seeing Tenchi in so much >pain. She's seen him almost be destroyed by an energy blast and she's having a nervous breakdown from a broken leg? I wouldn't be real concerned unless the bone was sticking out of the skin. You've ever broken a bone? Nope, thank God. (He's wind blasted into the screen again) Shoot. He must be made out of metal or something. (sweating) I think you're taking this a bit too far. > Ryoko left the room to be by Tenchi's side. "My poor Tenchi," Ryoko cried as she tele->ported into the living room. (healed) More unwanted hyphens. >"Please Tenchi, don't die. We haven't had sex yet." (as Dr. Evil)........Riiiiiiightttttt... > "I don't think I'm going to die, because of a broken leg," Tenchi grunted while trying to stand >up. The pain was unbearable and Tenchi fell on his ass. (snaps his fingers with excitement) Oh! I get it! I get it! The crew from South Park is narrarating it! (as if they just got it) OH! >In the kitchen Sasami picked up the telephone so she could call 911, when Washu suddenly >appeared. By the way Ryoko, do you happen to have 911 in Japan? I don't beleive so. That's what I thought. > "What's wrong with Lady Ayeka?" Washu asked. Ayeka was lying in a fetal position on the >floor, and was mumbling to herself. Bad Ayeka! Bad! No poo-poo on the carpet! (JS makes sounds of a puppy whining, everyone giggles) >"Ayeka's in shock, (singing) It's electric! > because Tenchi fell and broke his leg, Miss Washu," Sasami answered. > "Is that all," Washu chuckled. "Leave everything up to nurse Washu." Well if it's Washu we're talking about, everything would be down to her. (Everyone chuckles) >Washu snapped her fingers and was now arrayed in a nurse uniform. She can't do that. Don't forget, she is the... GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE! >"Sasami put the telephone down and follow me. Lady Ayeka, you stay here." >"Will Ayeka be okay, Miss Washu?" >"She'll snap out of it," Washu assured the young princess. (as Washu) But on more important measures... > *** > The Masaki Shrine... >"I can't believe I'm putting up with this shit," Kiyone mumbled to herself as she scrubbed the >concrete floor, (not paying attention) Yeah, scrubing the concrete floor. > which covered the yard in front of the Masaki Shrine. "I graduated second in my class, and >now I'm stuck on this shit hole planet." Hey, I live on this shit hole planet, watch your mouth. > "What did you say?" Yosho asked as he walked by and observed the policewoman in her >sexy pink panties. >"I said that this is a shit hole planet," Kiyone replied. You said it sister. Watch it! > "Yes, shit hole planet" Yosho agreed as he stared at Kiyone's ass moving up and down as she >rubbed the brush against the concrete. Looks like Yosho and Noboyuki switched parts. (staring at Kiyone's ass) Yes.switched parts.how lovely. > *** Woah! What happened?! Scene change. >"Does it hurt when I do this?" Washu asked as she twisted Tenchi's leg to the right. *CRACK!* (as Tenchi) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! > "Damn, Hell, Yes!" Tenchi screamed in pain. > "Does it hurt when I do this?" Washu asked as she twisted Tenchi's leg to the left. (as Tenchi) Damn, Hell, Yes! > "Damn, Hell, Yes!" Tenchi screamed in pain. > "Well Tenchi, the bad news is that you have a broken leg," (Everyone face-faults) The greatest scientific genius in the world, everybody. >Washu stated. > "What's the good news, Miss Washu?" Sasami asked. Good news about a broken leg? Hand-waited on hours on end, a private nurse. > "That I'm his personal nurse, of course," (sweatdrop) Never mind. >Washu laughed. "Now just one more question Tenchi. Does it hurt when I do this?" Washu >lifted Tenchi's leg off the floor. (as Tenchi) Damn, Hell, Yes! > "Damn, Hell, Yes!" Tenchi screamed in pain. This is fun. > "Dammit Washu, what the hell kind of nurse are you?" Ryoko growled. (as Washu) The only kind. (others stare at him nervously) > "Please Washu no more questions, I can't take anymore," Tenchi pleaded with the scientist. Asuka, does it feel good when I do this? (places his hand on her leg) Does it feel good when I do this? (mallets him into the back of the theater) >"Fine, that ends my examination," Washu said as she got on her knees and took a closer look >at Tenchi's leg. "All I have to do is set the bone back in place, and then put a cast on it." Uh.I don't think that's how you do it. This is Washu, anything's possible. > "Are you sure you know what you're doing, Little Washu?" Tenchi was beginning to sweat. > "Of course," Washu grinned and grabbed Tenchi's foot. "You may experience a slight >discomfort," *SNAP!* (as Tenchi) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE! >Washu warned before she began to pull Tenchi's leg. (back in seat) Wrong leg Washu. Shut up. > "Damn... Hell... No!" Tenchi screamed as Washu dragged his body across the room. (chuckles) This is kinda funny, Tenchi in pain. (ditto) And with Washu delivering it, it doubles. >"This isn't working at all," Washu thought out-loud. Tenchi and Sasami were both crying and >Ryoko was gritting her teeth in anger. Tenchi crying.that's pathetic. Sasami crying.that's sad. Ryoko gritting her teeth.wears enamel. (others stare at him nervously) > "Ryoko, grab Tenchi's head if you don't mind," Washu had a new idea. (dully) No.don't do it.if you have any dignity please don't do it. >Ryoko's anger immediately vanished after hearing this request. "What ever you say, Mom," >Ryoko smiled and grabbed Tenchi's crotch. Who saw that joke coming from a mile away? (Others raise their hands) > "Not that," Washu condemned her daughter. "You really do have a one track mind don't >you." (glare at JS) We know someone else who's like that too? What? What'd I do? >"Are you alright Tenchi?" Sasami asked as she gazed at Washu and Ryoko with a puzzled >look on her face. (putting a puzzle together) That piece goes there.and that one there. > "I hope so," Tenchi began to perspire profusely. (as Tenchi) Dammit! I wet myself again! Everyone's losing control of their bladders. > "Ryoko, you pull his leg while I hold his head," Washu placed her hands around Tenchi's ears. >Ryoko grasped Tenchi's foot, "Are you sure?" >"Pull! Dammit!" Washu commanded. Ryoko gave Tenchi's leg a swift yank and the bone >popped back into place. Just like that?! It popped back into place?! (dully) The greatest scientific genius. >"That did the trick," Washu said as she let go of Tenchi's ears. Tenchi's head hit the floor with >a loud thump. (grinning evily) Concussion city, here we come. > "Now, I'll just put a cast on that leg, and you'll be good as new." > "Wow Washu, that's great," Sasami cheered. > "Yea, great," Tenchi whimpered. > "I think it would be a good idea for me to take Tenchi upstairs, and put him in bed," Ryoko >grinned. (grinning) Yeah.put him in bed. Tuck him in, then. No Ryoko. > *** >After spending most of the morning searching for her pink panties and Sailor Moon t-shirt, >Mihoshi had finally given up and decided to take a nap on the porch. Good ol' Mihoshi. Back to her normal self. > Just as Mihoshi positioned herself for a long mid-morning nap, she was startled by the >commotion that was going on in the living room. > "That sounds like Tenchi yelling," (sarcastic) Wow.she's a genius. >Mihoshi thought to herself. She got up and stepped into the kitchen and heard Tenchi shout, >"Damn, Hell, Yes!" (with Tenchi) Damn, Hell, Yes! Tenchi seems to have limited vocabulary when he's in pain. How long do you think this running gag will last? > Ayeka was still lying on the kitchen floor mumbling to herself, "My poor Lord Tenchi." >Mihoshi was really confused, "What happened Ayeka?" Tenchi broke is fucking leg, that's what fucking happened. >"Tenchi broke his fucking leg that's what fucking happened," This thing should be called "Running Gag-O-Rama." >Ayeka mumbled in her comma like state. Ayeka's punctuated? Typo. >"Oh my," Mihoshi thought to herself. "I should go help him." Mihoshi, Tenchi lemon. I did not know. (hits him upside the head) I'm already up there with him. Mihoshi, Tenchi, Ryoko, lemon. I did not know. (Ryoko blasts him) > "Miya," Ryo-ohki purred as Mihoshi walked by the kitchen table. She purred "Miya?" (JS starts purring in Asuka's ear, then steam starts shooting out of her ears) (scared) I'll stop know. > "Ryo-ohki, I haven't seen you all morning," Mihoshi greeted the cabbit. >Ryo-ohki was eating from a bowl filled with carrots. The cabbit offered to share with Mihoshi >by pushing a carrot across the table toward Mihoshi. SAY WHAT??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone's replaced Ryo-Ohki with an evil clone! First Alielle and now her! (to no one) LEAVE THE CUTE ONES OUT OF THIS! > "For me?" Mihoshi asked. Ryo-ohki nodded her head up and down. > "Thank you, Ryo-ohki," Mihoshi picked up the carrot and took a bite. "By the way, have you >seen my pink panties and Sailor Moon t-shirt, Ryo-ohki?" Sure, ask the cabbit. I'm sure Yosho or Kiyone would know where they are. >Ryo-ohki didn't really understand what Mihoshi was talking about, so she smiled and shook >her head up and down. I have this feeling this can only lead to trouble. > "You have!" Mihoshi was very excited. > Ryo-ohki jumped from the table onto the floor. "Are you going to show me where to find >them?" Mihoshi asked. > The cabbit was about to exit the room when she noticed Princess Ayeka on the floor. Such a >wonderful opportunity, ........ What are you going to do Ryo-Ohki? > Ryo-ohki thought to herself. How often do you get a chance to sniff a Jurian Princess ass. o_o"........ Well.I guess it's a good opportunity.she wouldn't let you do it any other time.. *KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!* (being electrocuted) A-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- E!!!!!!!! Ayeka's listening. >Ryo- ohki walked over to Ayeka and took a big whiff. (The MST'rs also take a whiff, and start coughing and gagging) Woah! (coff)(coff) Who cut the cheese?! *KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!* *Klunk!* (The sound of the six people's head's hitting the floor from unconsicousness echo throughout the room.) >Mihoshi was very confused. Mihoshi scratched her head then her face suddenly brightened, >"Now I get it! Ayeka is wearing my pink panties." (getting up) Oh yeah. Who called it? Who called it? Oh.it's not over. >Ryo-ohki sat on the floor with a puzzled look on her face. >Mohoshi got on her knees and placed her hands around Ayeka's arms. "Princess Ayeka wake >up," Moshoshi pleaded. (JS sighs) What's with you? Nothing. It's just that I've always wanted to do the "genetically enginered typo" joke. (Several bullets smack him in the back of the head, he looks around but finds nothing) > Ayeka remained motionless and murmured, "My poor Lord Tenchi." >"She's really out cold," No, I'd have to say she's still in heat. (A strong wind blast picks him up and slams him into the shielded screen) >Mihoshi sighed. "But I really want my pink panties," Mihoshi looked over her shoulder toward >Ryo-ohki. "Are you sure she's wearing my pink panties, Ryo-ohki?" (as Ryo-Ohki) Miya. >Ryo-ohki shrugged her shoulders and purred, "Miya." Okay, she's not purring, get over it. (crawling to his seat) A little angst? (bops him in the head) What do you think? > Mihoshi took a bite of her carrot and put it in the left vest pocket of her galaxy police uniform. Who here bets that it's going to be in her right pocket later on? Naw, this author has more character than that. >"Only one way to find out for sure," Mihoshi said before delicately grasping Ayeka's dress. (anxious) Oh yeah.Ayeka Mihoshi lemon. *KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCC CKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!* (to Ryoko) You think he's a masochist? No, he just has a high tolerance to pain. >The Princess moaned slightly as the blonde policewoman slid the silky garment up her legs. >Ryo-ohki watched with great interest. Ryo-ohki. .watched. .with. .great. .interest. . . . (Others stare at him nervously) How do you do that? (JS smiles and shrugs) >"Oh my," Mihoshi sniveled as she pushed the dress above Ayeka's waist. "You were >completely wrong, Ryo-ohki. Ayeka isn't wearing my pink panties, as a matter of fact she isn't >wearing any panties at all." Mihoshi gazed at Ayeka's exposed body, "And she shaves her..." (cover their eyes) WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT! >Suddenly, Ryoko interrupted with a shout from the living room, "Hey Mihoshi, are you in the >kitchen eating everyone's breakfast?" (as Mihoshi with mouth full) Mmph! > "Of course not," Mihoshi yelled her answer loudly. > "Well get your sorry tan ass in here, and help us carry Tenchi upstairs," Ryoko responded >with an even louder yell. South Park has taken over Tenchi Muyo, who will there next victim be? Your show could be next Vegetta. Think about it Ryoko, his show is WORSE than South Park. (thinks about it).....oh yeah. >In a hurry, Mihoshi ran from the room to help her friends. Unnoticed by Mihoshi, her half >eaten carrot had fallen from her vest pocket and landed between Ayeka's legs, leaning against >her naked shaven pussy. Alright, who shaved Ryo-Ohki again? (others glare at him) > Ryo-ohki stared at the carrot for a second, then the cabbit walked over to Ayeka and >crawled between her legs. I know cat's curl up in warm spots, but this is ridiculous. (others glare at him) What? > Ryo-ohki hated to see a good carrot go to waste, so she decided to finish what was left. >Ryo-ohki was about to grab the carrot, but Ayeka suddenly moved. The carrot fell to the >floor, and rolled beneath Ayeka's right leg. Oh, too bad Ryo-Ohki, just going to have to get another carrot. (sarcastically) Yeah, right. > Ryo-ohki was heartbroken, and tears began to build up in the cabbit's eyes. A perfectly good >carrot just out of reach. Well.. > The smell emanating from Ayeka's carrot stained pussy was driving Ryo- ohki wild. No. Don't to it Ryo-Ohki.don't do it. I didn't raise you to be like this. (as Ryo-Ohki) Animalistic.urges.taking.over. >The cabbit could hold back no longer, Ryo-ohki began to lick the moist clit of the beautiful >princess. > "Oh my Lord Tenchi," Uh-huh. >Ayeka spoke softly and passionately. "Lord Tenchi, how could you? I am not a woman of >loose morals." (as Ayeka) But.don't stop. >Ryo-ohki stopped licking so she could pay attention to what Ayeka was whispering. "Oh >please Lord Tenchi. I didn't say stop," Ayeka exhaled gently. (All face-fault) (getting up) Nailed it on the head Ryoko. >Ryo-ohki continued to lick the princess furiously. The sensation was so intense that Ayeka >rolled back and forth on the floor in pleasure. With the cabbit still between her legs?! She's probably sufficating the poor thing. >Ayeka's right leg slowly moved from its previous position, and Ryo-ohki noticed the carrot >was now obtainable. Ryo-ohki stopped the licking action and grabbed the carrot. No! Please don't do it! Not "At the Carrot Patch" again! NO! (patting her on the back) Poor girl. Wanna go in my room and talk about it? (hits him in the head) I'm fine. > "Please Lord Tenchi," Ayeka squirmed. "I need more!" > *** > The Masaki Shrine... And we're going to the Masaki shrine! (Everyone moves three seats over to the left) >Yosho was receiving a large amount of pleasure watching Kiyone scrub the concrete floor. >The motion of Kiyone's firm ass in pink cotton panties was a sight to behold. (mezmorized) Uh-huh.uh-huh. Pigs! >Yosho decided to bring a chair outdoors, so he could relax in the shade and enjoy the view. And what a view it is! Who needs the Grand Canyon? When you five fairly-good sized ones right in your house? (others stare at him nervously) Never knew you had it in you. But Akane's going to kill you. > "Damn, its hot," Kiyone was soaking wet with sweat. "I need to take a break from this heat." >Kiyone grabbed a towel, which Yosho had provided earlier, and wiped the sweat from her >face and arms. (singing) This is the way we wipe our sweat! Wipe our sweat! Wipe our sweat! (others stare at him nervously) Sorry, I don't know where it came from. >"Taking a break already, Kiyone?" Yosho inquired. Ten minutes passed and Yosho was >getting impatient, because he really liked looking at Kiyone's ass while she was bent over. >"Excuse me," Yosho was about to interrupt Kiyone's extended recess. So she was playing on the swings behind the shrine? Up and down, up and down, up and down. (hits him upside the head) Sorry I ever brought it up. > Without warning Kiyone removed the Sailor Moon t-shirt she was wearing. ..... Wow.they're awesome.Ryoko, she definently has you beat. I'm twice the size Kiyone is! (JS leans over Afura and puts his nose right between her breasts) Nope, Kiyone definently. (Ryoko's face turns real pale as everyone stares REAL nervously at them) (with a sweatdrop) Did I just do what I think I did to Ryoko Hakibi, the most notorious space pirate in the galaxy? Yep. (Another outside view of the castle) *SHICK!* (from inside) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Back inside.) (JS is somehow in his seat, but his hair is mussed up, his face is somewhat burned, he's staring angerily at the screen, oh yeah, there's an energy sword through the left side of his chest) That hurt. (off camera) I'LL KILL THAT PERVERT! HOW DARE HE DO THAT TO ME! (also off camera) Shut up woman! No one gives a damn anymore! You're a sick bastard, you know that? (smiling) They were nice, soft, and bouncy. (Ryoko and Vegetta walk back to their seats, Ryoko covering her chest up) Try one more stunt like that and it'll go through a part you can't regenerate. (Everyone gets sweatdrops) >"What do you want?" Kiyone questioned the old man. (looking at sword) I would like for Ryoko to pull this thing out of me. I would like for you to roll over and die, but you don't see that happening now do you? (glare at JS and loom over him) Oh, we can make that happen. >"Never mind dear," Yosho spoke nervously as he carefully slipped a small camera from his >robe. (singing) SMILE! You're on candid camera! > This new turn of events excited Yosho greatly. The site of Kiyone's tight blue bra and pink >panties caused Yosho's old wrinkled limp dick to come alive, with long forgotten energy. (Everyone stares at the screen in shock) That does it.I'm officially scarred for life. (as Ryan) I'm not gay, but I'm sure the hell ain't straight anymore. > "I just needed to get that hot and sweaty t-shirt off for a moment, so I can cool down," >Kiyone explained. (sarcastically) Uh-huh. >"Thats just fine," Yosho perspired. It's an epidemic! (eerie voice) The question is.are we next? (Others look at him nervously) >*** >Tenchi's Room... Back in Tenchi's room! (Everyone moves back to their original seats) This is fun. >Ryoko and Mihoshi, with Washu & Sasami following closely behind, carefully carried Tenchi >upstairs and put him in his bed. "Sorry to cause so much trouble," Tenchi apologized. > "I would walk through shit and fire for you, Tenchi," ..... You'd be smelling pretty bad coming out of that. Shut up. >Ryoko jumped on the bed and gave Tenchi a big hug. *CRACK!* (as Kyle) Oh my God! You killed Tenchi! (as Stan) You bastard! (Ryoko growls at them, while JS makes moans of pain with his head through a random chair Afura found) > "Are you hungry, Tenchi?" Sasami asked. "You haven't eaten breakfast." > "I am a little bit hungry." >"Tenchi has all that he needs to eat right here," Ryoko grinned. Sasami and Mihoshi looked >around the room, and didn't see any food. (Everyone facefaults) At least I can understand those two, one innocent, the other dumb. > "Gosh Tenchi, how did you break your leg anyway?" Mihoshi asked. > "I fell down the stairs," Tenchi was a little embarrassed. (singing) It's Tenchi! It's Tenchi! He falls down stairs! Over in pairs! Everyone knows, it's Tenchi! > "Alright everyone, get out of the way so I can put a cast on Tenchi's leg," Washu interrupted. Washu, I suggest you put that box of Trojan's away, and get a REAL cast. (Others chuckle) >"I'll go downstairs and get your breakfast," Sasami smiled at Tenchi. > "I'm staying by your side until you get better Tenchi," Ryoko kissed Tenchi and nibbled on his >ear. (as Ryoko) Hmm.tastes like chicken. Let's not start those jokes again, please. > "Hey, cut it out Ryoko," Tenchi complained. > Washu went to work on Tenchi's leg while Ryoko used her tongue to wash Tenchi's face. (Ryoko buries her head in her hands, JS smiles at Asuka evily, her eye twitches) >"Ryoko cut it out. This is gross, I've got spit all over my face and in my ear," Tenchi was very >annoyed. (Ryoko slaps her forehead) That's the point you numbskull. > "I know Tenchi, why don't you try to run away from me," Ryoko laughed. "Oh yeah, you >can't can you." Ryoko stuck her tongue in Tenchi's ear. (in high, faint voice) I can't believe how much I'm being disgraced. (surprise) You mean you're really not like this! (Quick-drying cement is poured over everyone except Ryoko) (smiles) Thank you mom. (un-known speaker) You're welcome honey. > "All finished Tenchi," Washu announced. >"Wow, that was fast," Mihoshi complimented the little nurse. (Ryoko looks from side to side) Hmm.no one with a "little" joke. >"Thanks, Washu," Tenchi smiled at the pink haired goddess. "Dammit," Tenchi mumbled when >he looked at the cast for the first time. "Did you have to put a pink cast on my leg, Little >Washu? WHAT?! (break the cement and start laughing) HA HA! TENCHI'S A SISSY BOY! (They are once again put to stone) > Dad and Grandpa are going to laugh their asses off at me." (breaks cement; as Yosho) HA HA HA HA HA! *poik!* Oh, that ain't good. (Ryoko glares at him as the others manage to break free) > "I think it's cute," Mihoshi giggled. Huh? Mihoshi's hittin' on Tenchi! Hell's frozen over! > "I think it's sexy," Ryoko rubbed her hand up and down Tenchi's chest. >"Ryoko go downstairs and let Tenchi rest," Washu grabbed Ryoko by the ear and pulled her >from the room. > "Bye Tenchi, see you later," Mihoshi gave Tenchi a kiss on the cheek. O_O" (angry [what else is new?] ) That.two-timing.no good.back stabbing.little.HUSSY! She's gotten farther than you have Ryoko. (Ryoko does that slow, creepy, head turn, looking Vegetta right in the eyes) Shut.up.saiya-scum. >Tenchi blushed as Mihoshi left the room. See? (Ryoko swings her sword at his neck but is stopped by his ki) > "Finally I can have some peace and quiet," Tenchi tried to get comfortable on his bed. Tenchi >just couldn't relax, because he kept thinking about school. "This is a bad day to miss school. I >had an algebra test today," Tenchi worried. "Damn, I hate school." No kidding. > *** > In The Kitchen... Oh, we're in the kitchen now! Uh.where do we go guys? (Others think about it) Three seats to the right! (Same joke) >Ayeka slowly woke from her deep sleep. "What happened to me? I must go check on Lord >Tenchi." As Ayeka sat up, she looked down at herself and saw her naked body. "Oh my, GODDESS! >goodness!" Shoot. >Ayeka quickly covered herself. "How did this happen to me?" Do you really want to know? You got raped by a cabbit. >Sasami entered the room with a smile. "Hi Ayeka," Sasami greeted her sister. >"Sasami," Ayeka said quietly. "What happened to me?" ....Please Sasami, tell us you don't know. > "Don't you remember?" Sasami noticed a tear in her sister's eye. (a tear forms in their eyes) No. > "No, I don't remember anything." > "Tenchi broke his leg, and you passed out on the floor. You was very scared," Sasami >explained. PHEW! (gets on his knees) Thank you Jim Jurai. You spared the little one. > "That doesn't explain my nudity," ARGH! DAMN YOU TO HELL! >Ayeka thought to herself. Oh.(takes breaths a relief) He ain't that bad of a writer, I guess. > "Better not mention that to Sasami, since she doesn't seem to know." How could you not notice? Well, this IS Ayeka we're talking about. *KKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!* *Klunk!* For cryin' out loud, WILL ALL OF YOU STOP LISTENING IN ON US?! > "Tenchi's fine," Sasami tried to comfort her sister. > "I remember Tenchi lying on the floor in pain, but thats all," Ayeka was very depressed. "I'm >afraid that I wasn't much help." Well you did.no.you possibly.no.there was that one time.uh- huh.you're right, you did nothing. (getting up) Besides for getting raped by a cabbit. *KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!* *Klunk!* (near unconsciousness) I'm gonna.kill her. > *** >Tenchi's Room... Back in Tenchi's room! (You know) >After a few minutes of silence, Tenchi heard a knock at the door. "Oh no," Tenchi thought. >"Ryoko I'm not in the mood for your B.S. right now." Bitch-Slapping? B-Ko stopping? Bed stomping? Bad springs? Butt sucking? (others glare at him) (getting up) Bull-shit you idiots. Bull-shit. Well EXCUUUUUUUSE US! > "It's me, Sasami," a soft voice came from the door. >"Come in Sasami," Tenchi was relieved. I speak for everyone when I say we are too. Everyone? >"I brought you some bacon and eggs," (as Tenchi) I will not eat bacon and eggs. I will not eat bacon and eggs. (ditto) I will not eat them in here. I will not eat them out there. (ditto) I will not eat them on a plane, I will not eat them on a plane. (ditto) I will not eat them off your chest... (Next thing that happens is a mix of Afura's wind blasting him into the screen, Vegetta's Gallic Gun shooting into his back, Ryoko blasting him with her own ki, and tiny logs shocking the heck out of him) >Sasami placed the tray of food on Tenchi's lap. "I'll be up latter to get your plate." Rather than former. We'll let this typo pass, this story wasn't half-bad. (The sound of flesh sizzling echo's through the room) > "Thanks Sasami," Tenchi patted the little princess on the head. > "Tenchi," Sasami lowered her head. > "What's wrong Sasami?" (as Sasami) Besides that I'm the youngest one hear and have no powers at all. (ditto) .and that I'm only hear to cook and clean after everyone. (healed) .and I have this rash.^_^ (Another wind blast into the screen) >"Can you speak to Ayeka later?" Sasami raised her head and looked at Tenchi. "She's really >worried about you." >"Sure Sasami," Tenchi agreed. "Tell Ayeka that I would love to speak to her." (healed) You know, it would be great if there were a couple typos in 'speak.' (blasts him into the screen again) WHY WON'T YOU DIE?! (Others get a sweatdrop) >"Thanks Tenchi," Sasami smiled and exited the room. (healed; as Snagglepuss) Stage left, even. (out of breath) I'd.hurt you but.I'm.exhausted. > "This is great," Tenchi said with delight. "I'm starving." Just as Tenchi was about to take his >first bite, Ryoko floated up through the floor of Tenchi's bedroom. (Everyone starts humming the tune to Jaws) > "Ryoko!" Tenchi trembled. "I thought Washu told you to stay downstairs." >"Washu doesn't tell me what to do," AMEN! Now THAT'S IC! Too bad. >Ryoko pushed Tenchi's food off his lap. "Besides, Washu went into her lab, and she'll be >cooped up in there for quiet a while." So what does being quiet have anything to do with that? Leave the guy alone, he hasn't made many mistakes at all. I'm trying to scrape up what little ones he has. > "Ryoko what are you planning to do?" Tenchi was very nervous. > "You have run from me long enough, Tenchi. I'm taking what's rightfully mine," Ryoko said >with a devilish grin. Waitaminute.if you thin the face.add a lot of red to it.and horns.and remove the hair.who does she look like? What are you.she would look like him! Like who? Ryoko, if Vegetta figures it out before we get outta here, I suggest you leave. > "But I was going to eat breakfast," Tenchi was trying to change the subject. "I'm hungry." (smiling) I'm hungry too. > "I'm hungry too," Ah, forget it. Great minds DO think alike! (Others stare at her nervously) >Ryoko slowly crawled onto Tenchi's bed. "Don't run away from me this time, Tenchi." Don't think he can. I guess it's time for me to get going. Can't sit around here when there's a lunatic running around in El Hazard. Jinnai? No, Fatora. (she leaves) > To Be Continued... > *** >Thanks for reading my first attempt at a lemon fanfic. More of a lime actually. Thank God. >Please! send all of your comments to: jimjurai@yahoo.com Not bad Jim, not bad at all. Besides for very minor spelling problems, and a strange plot, it was written pretty good. Don't know why this idiot made us watch it though. I was getting bored. (turns to camera) Ya'll come back now, y'hear?! ************************* Ramblings: Well, I must say, it was a strange fic. But besides for that, it was pretty good, I just MSTed it because of the plot, that's all. But I apologize to Jim Jurai for doing it without his permission, so you can MST any of my fics if you want, or send hatemails to me. But good story, kinda funny too.