MST Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters represented here, except for myself. They are owned by their respected companies and I apologize for the torture I put them through, including myself. "In the not too distant future." *SMASH* OW! What the hell was that for?! Come on. Everybody uses that nowadays. Besides, you suck at parodies. Yeah.well. We all like Mystery Science Theater. .but try something different. Anything for you Asuka dear. Please tell me you're not going to do that the whole time. Space.an endless void of matter. Where danger lurks at every turn.that's why we stay on Earth! But even Earth has it dangers, a danger beyond that of description.bad fanfiction. However, I promised people I wouldn't make fun of their fiction, but that doesn't mean I'll poke some fun at series. But tonight you get a fic, possibly one of the weirdest fics ever.okay not that weird but. Get on with it! Shut up! I'm on a roll! .it's still weird nonetheless. Anyway, we are the crew of the Not-So-Satellite- Satellite-of-Love 2. This is the crew, and here are its voyages. Name: Joe "JS Smitty" Smith (JS for short) Age: Let's keep that a secret. (with sword against throat) Let's not. Yes'm. Age: Uh.um.I'm 16. (withdraws sword) Good boy. Powers: SSJ4 and controls red mana (for all you Magic: The Gathering players out there) Name: Prince Vegetta Age: Unknown. (Seriously, I don't know) Powers: SSJ4 ('nuff said) Name: Asuka Langley Sohyru Age: 14 Powers: Eva pilot, ability to be cute no matter what. (drops head) I was afraid he'd do that. (snickers) Name: Ryoko Hakubi Age: 5000+ *KA-BOOM* TWO THUSAND PLUS! THAT'S TWO THOUSAND PLUS! (charred) Got it. Age: 2000+ Powers: Yeah right, like I'm going to name them all. Name: Ranma Saotome Age: 16 Powers: Expert martial artist, ability to attract most women within a ten-foot range. (sighs) It's a curse I say. And now its voyages. In a dark castle at the top of a mountain in the middle of the desert, JS is trying to teach Ranma how to play Magic. (annoyed) All right, you can only play one land a turn, and you already played a land, so you can't anymore. (looks through his hand) Right.now what's the score? (buries face in hands) There is no SCORE, but life totals. I am at ten, and you are at one, I'm beating you by nine lives, there's no way you can win. It's not over until it's over.now, I got nine lands and a ten.uh.what's that word? (pissed off) MANA! Right, a ten mana card. Now.I got a card that requires 0.mana.it's called a Black Lotus.it comes in for free right? (surprised) WHAT?! (sets down a card) And it gives me three mana of my chosen color, right? (jaw drops to lap) (turns Black lotus and seven lands on their sides, shoves a card in his face) Now this card does.what.ten damage? So that means I win, right? (violently stands up) How dare you! You cheated! That's the only reason for how you won! You cheated! No one can defeat me.the greatest Magic player in the universe! (thunder and lightning) (not amused) Yeah, yeah, now where's my hundred yen? (JS shakes his fists before reaching into his pocket and slamming money onto the table. Then Asuka and Vegetta come in. Vegetta has a towel around his waist and Asuka is in her PJ's, very sleepy.) (upset) Will you two stop your bickering?! I could hear you from all the way in the shower! (yawns) Yeah.please be quiet, I'm trying to sleep. You might as well get up Asuka, we got a fic to do. Yeah, and sorry Vegetta. (covers eyes) And put some clothes on, you'll scare Asuka. (shakes fist) I'll wear whatever I want and you'll like it or else. (turns around and heads back down the hall) (JS disappears and reappears besides Asuka, placing his head on her shoulder) You however can wear anything you like, even if it's nothing at all. (Asuka punches him in the nose and walks to the table Ranma's sitting at, he's clearing the cards away) Is there any tea or coffee? In the kitchen. (walks down a different hall) Thanks. (gets up, wipes blood from nose) Now we got to wait for Ryoko to wake up, and Vegetta and Asuka to get dressed. (shuffles cards)Want to have another go at it? No, it wouldn't be right to humiliate you in front of my beloved Asuka. (raises eyebrow) Right. (flies through door in her casual wear) What's todays horror film? (goes over to a computer) It's. (puts hands up) Hold it! I don't want anybody to know what it is until we're all here. (Asuka walks back in, sips some tea, then sets it down on a table and takes off her PJ's to reveal her school uniform underneath) That's handy. Do you wear that all the time? (straightens her dress) Well, I have to wear it to bed at night in case the electric doorhandle doesn't keep out intruders. (looks at JS) That explains why your hands were in bandages this morning. (rubs hands on pants) You'd think a fourth level Super Saiyan would be able to handle that. They should make that into an item you can buy. (holds hand out in the picture frame position) For the woman on the go! Hate to burst your bubble but somebody beat you do it. It's called a one-minute jumpsuit moron. It was invented years ago. I've been asleep idiot, how was I supposed to know that? Oh look.a cat. AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (Leaps into the air) Weirdo. (looks over to Asuka and JS, JS is tickling Asuka's chin and whispering into her ear, Asuka is pissed beyond belief) So what else you got under there? *SMASH* GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS! (hanging from rafter) Will you kiss it afterwards? (Vegetta walks in and Ranma drops back down) How long is this going to take? As long as the kid wants. (as Joe Dirt) I can see down your shirt! (gasps, covers herself) YOU ARE SO DEAD ONCE YOU GET DOWN HERE! (notices something) Oh, everybody's here. (He flips to the floor, ducking a punch from Asuka) I'm sure you all know what you're doing here, so I'll skip it. I know I said in my personel that I wasn't going to do any MST's, but I made a promise that I'd do this one. Who did you make that promise to? Uh.me. (Others face-fault) At least this will be the only one we have to do. Uh.not really. After this, we're going to do Shin Tenchi. Ohhhhh. But today we got a bad fic, so to the theater! (Seating arrangements, left to right, Ranma, Asuka, Joe, Ryoko, Vegetta) What's this fics name? "A Bad-Side Story." "A Bad-Side Story?" What the hell kind of title is that? Feeling of dread. (gulps) Joe "JS Smitty" Smith (Whazzup316@cs.com) Waitaminute.(looks at JS).that's YOUR name. Well.uh. You idiot. You're making us watch your own fic. Are you old enough to write this? (angry) It's here, isn't it?! Just watch it. Lemon A Day at the Fair I thought it was called A Bad-Side Story. A Day at the Fair was it's original title, but it seemed too natural. People like you are too natural. (blinks eyes flirtiously) But you love it, don't ya? I'm going to hurt you. A little trip to the carnival becomes something unexpected at home. What was that all for? I forgot to erase that for when I was going to send it in to tmffa.com. Are you allowed to talk about other websites? (shrugs) As long as you're not promoting it, I guess. Damn! Tenchi Muyo and all of it's characters are property of AIC and Pioneer and I am not making, nor plan to make any money off of it. As always, DBZ is Funimations property but since I'm only using the saiyan legend that's all that I need to say is Funimations. (interested) You're using DBZ characters? No, it's my SI, Broka. Here, I'll show you who he is. (JS pulls out a laptop and presses a button, several seconds pass before everybody else "ah"'s in agreement) NOTE! BIG NOTE!: This fic will self-destruct in five seconds. (hum Mission: Impossible theme) Before reading on, you MUST read this to understand what I have done. How much of a must is this? A little must? A big must? Okay, first of all, I am crossing over the Tenchi OVA universe, and Tenchi TV (Tenchi Universe for CN people). In other words, the dumb people. That was mean. I'm sorry, the intellectually challenged people. Ugh. All this means, is that Kiyone is going to be in it, oh, and there will be a crossover from my stories in an earlier fic of mine. (as Mojo Jojo) Because that fic is an earlier fic of mine for I wrote it, me Joe JS Smitty Smith, who wrote an fic earlier before this by me, Joe. Shut up. Meaning my character, Broka, is going to be in it also, you can think of him as a SI character, Oh, he IS.trust me. but the only reason he's in here is because any other male character would have been just wrong when something happens to them later on. (whimpers) I'm not going to take the time to describe him, just browse through the fan fic No Need For a New Guy for a description of him. And I'll have you know, pedophilia is just WRONG, so I'm leaving Sasami OUT OF THIS HALLEJUAH! ...well sort of, (turn to Joe) You'd better have! she's going to be in it, but only for the first couple scenes at the fair, BUT NO LEMON! (cheers and waves flags) (cheer and waves flags) Those with a weak stomach should not read this, being as I will go into much...MUCH detail, and a weird twist at the end, but c's sake? Why would you be worried about someone's sake? Not sa-ki. Sake, you moron. (stands on chair) Are you trying me? (also stands on chair) Just bring it. (restrains Ryoko) Asuka, get Joe. Uh-uh, I want to see Ryoko kick his ass. This fic contains scenes that could be devaststing to the immature mind, although I'm sure guys the ages of 14 + up know what's going on, And women. Amen. and some of the words planning to be used. You know what, JUST TURN BACK! THIS COULD BE DEVASTATING TO THE ADULT MIND! I don't like the way that sounded. You won't. (The opinions expressed here are not nesscicarily those of the readers, thank you.) But they most likely are. ******** The large ferris wheel at the annual Tokyo Fair spins slowly as Tenchi, Broka, Nobiyouki, and all the girls stare up at it. (as Tenchi, Broka, Nobiyouki, and all the girls) Duh. "Wow! I haven't been to a fair for years," Broka exclaims, watching the wheel go around and around. (singing) The wheels of the ferris go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. "Well, we can't stay long, Okiyama isn't a stroll down the road," Nobiyouki says to him. That's not how you spell it. (shrugs) Who cares? "Well, let's split up, we'll be able to see more of what we want to see then if we were to travel in a group," Tenchi says. Surprisingly, Ayeka calmly says, "I'll go with Sasami." To maliciously ra. (starts strangling him) DON'T EVER REMIND ME OF THAT FIC AGAIN! "I should keep an eye on Mihoshi," Kiyone says. That'd be kind of gross, taking your eye out like that. The four walk off, and Ryoko smiles evily, "Well Tenchi, that leaves you and...huh?" she stops when she sees Broka dragging Tenchi with his forearm around his neck, choking Tenchi. (starts gagging like Tenchi) (as angry Broka) Ryoko's MY woman! Got it?! I'd better not be. "C'mon wimp, let's start at thc ] 't that sick. "You touch me, and you'll have to walk backwards to see forward," See, way ahead of you. (not assuringly) I'm trusting my body to you. .I shouldn't say it.oh well.can I rent it? (Ryoko punches him into the ceiling) He went far. Ryoko assures him, Nobiyouki starts to sweat, they walk off. (Joe returns to his seat) Sasami and Ayeka come to a stop as they see a haunted house in front of them, Sasami eyes widen. "Sister, let's go in there, I've read this place is supposed to be really scary." (as Sasami) They got the Olsen twins, Tank Cop, Sakuya Kumashiro. (angry) SAKUYA! (Pushes him into his seat) Down boy! Talk about your complexes. (crazy) I'm going to strangle her, fry her, boil her in acid, make her watch all the parts of Sammy's Little Secret. (shudder) That is evil. "Well, I don't know...people have been seriously injured by things popping out of nowhere, and with your young heart I'm not sure you could take it." < All except JS> What? Don't ask me, I don't know either. "Pleeeeeaaaasssseeee," Sasami whines, with big puppy dog eyes. Ugh. What's with him? He hates cute. How could Ayeka turn her down, "All right, but only once okay, we need the rest of our money for food and other rides." Sasami jumped in excitement and pulled Ayeka into the electric cart and it rolled into the darkness. (pulls out a chainsaw and starts it up) (shriek) DON'T DO THAT! Ten minutes pass when the two princesses return from their ride, Sasami has a large happy smile on her face as the cart stops, Ayeka is pale white, motionless, and frozen. Sasami jumps out of the cart and tries to get Ayeka out, who seems to be stuck to the seat, she walks over to the director of the ride and motions him towards Ayeka. He nods, pulls out a crowbar, and walks to the cart. It takes several seconds for the director to pry Ayeka out of the cart, but he's able to, and sets her down on a bench, Sasami grabs some cotton candy. < All except JS> That was pointless. I know, I wrote it. At this time, Broka has Tenchi unconcscious. (looks at JS) Are we going to go into another useless scene? Uh-huh. "Let's see...the fried noodles stand is that way...so the shooting...huh," he pauses as he realizes that Tenchi is near dead, he lets go, "Sorry." He buys a bottle of water and splashes it in his face. One of the few joys in life, splashing unconscious people with cold water. Unconscious people aren't the only ones that you can have fun splashing water on. *SPLOOSH* (girl Ranma) Jackass. "GAH! What happened?!" Tenchi yells as he bolts upright. Before Broka answers, a familiar little voice pops into Tenchi's head... o_0? and right now you're about do to all the women at once in a crazy orgy! RUN!> Do.do I sense foreshadowing? (whistles innocently) Tenchi screams and tries to run but Broka snatches his collar. "Teka?" Broka asks calmly. < All except JS> Who? The fusion. Oh. It takes several minutes for Tenchi to realize what happened, "Yeah. He's been bothering you too?" "I ignore him. He's an ignorant self-conscious twerp but you'll get used to him." What is it with you and scizophrenia? (psychologist) A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Look who's talking. Ooh.Joe got zinged. (seductively; to Asuka) Can I zing you? I'll zing you right in the kisser if you don't get your hand off my leg. "So where's the shotting gallery?" "Shotting gallery"? (angry) It's a typo! "I'm not..." before he finishes a pleaseant voice calls them. "Tenchi! Broka! Over here!" The two turn around to see Mihoshi and Kiyone walking down the dirt walkway. Mihoshi breaks out into a fast jog and catches up to them. (as up to them) Hey! Who are you?! Let go of me! That joke is so old. "Hey! Where are you guys going?" she asks with a little skip in her voice. I was thinking of doing a hop, skip, and a jump away joke but I decided against it. "Shooting gallery," Tenchi exclaims, "Where are you two going?" (as Mihoshi) We were going somewhere? (as Ryoga) WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?! "Same place you are. We just took a longer route because SOMEBODY wanted to stop at the funhouse," Kiyone says, with a look of concern at Mihoshi. I've been concerned about Mihoshi the first I me I met her. "But I just wanted to see all the neat stuff in there," Mihoshi complains back. Before Kiyone can argue back, a clown pops up behind them which startle the four. (start breathing deep breaths) Us too! "Well hello there! My what a big gathering we got here! And such pretty ladies we got here too!" How can he be saying that when I'm not there. he notices Broka, who right now is a little pale, I feel a bad joke coming up. "Oh, and this big boy must be your boyfriend Missy," he points towards Kiyone, who just stares with confusion, " I'd bet you'd like a..." before he finishes, Broka screams and punches the clown right in the face, which sends him about thirty feet in the air and fifty feet away from them. (singing) He flies through the air with the greatest of ease! "What was that for?!" Tenchi screams at him. In a very passive and innocent voice, Broka replies, "Clowns scare me." (face-fault) That one didn't even deserve a face-fault, (while getting up) Oh yes it did. as the other three drop there heads to their knees and walk in the direction they were going. "C'mon! Anyone who does stuff like that has to be some kind psycho!" Anyone who writes stuff like that has got to be psy.hey, where'd you go? (JS has disappeared, and the entire room has gone black and white and Psycho music is playing in the background. A figure appears behind Asuka with hands at ready.) (grabs a arm and flings him to the ground) HYAH! (with knee in throat) It's.just me.Asuka-chan! (pushes harder) I know! Broka yells at the three slump figures. They don't say a word and head off into the shooting gallery. Meanwhile... Ryoko picks up a rather round softball, and squints her eyes at the red and white bullseye in front of her. Target locked-on! All missiles fire! The bullseye is connected to this rather strange platform, with an even stranger thing sitting on it...Nobiyouki. (with narraration) Nobiyouki. "C'mon Ryoko. You don't want to do this..." (with bullhorn; as police officer) Come on Ryoko! Put.the ball.down! (as psycho murderer) No! NO! I got to do this! This is for you, Tenchi! "Shut up!" she yells back at him, as she winds her arm up and fires the ball straight for the middle of the target. (baseball announcer) The wind up.the pitch.Strike 3! The Cubs win it! The Cubs win it! The Cubs?! (laughs nervously) As the ball impacts the center, the pin holding up the platform is ripped from the socket, and Nobiyouki splashes into the water. As a second reaction, the ball shatters the target, and creates a large gust of wind as it flies towards the edge of the lake. Huh? Where'd the lake come from? It's just there. "Bullseye!" Ryoko yells, as she aggresively pulls the stuffed bear from the extremely amazed game director. (sarcastically) Nah.why would he be amazed? Every woman can throw a softball a thousand miles an hour. "One more game!" she yells again, reaching into her pockets for some more money. "No! My nose is too stuffed with water as it is!" Nobiyouki yells from the edge of the tank. "That's what noseplugs are for," (with Ryoko on fic) That's what noseplugs are for.(stares in confusion for several seconds) That was creepy. she fires back, with an evil grin and ball bouncing up and down in her hand. Ewww.why would you want that perverts ball in your hand? EWWW! VEGETTA! "Now get on that platform before I make you!" Nobiyouki quickly struggles to get on the platform, "I'm not going to wait all day! No.how 'bout the rest of the fic? This fic takes place over a course of a couple weeks. Oh. Don't worry, mistakes happen to the cutest of us. Hurry up and..." she stops, and looks to her left. About ten feet away, a fairly good-sized tent has appeared, (look at JS coldly) (strokes chin) I didn't even see this pun until now. Really I didn't. " That's strange, I don't remember that before," she sets the ball down and slings her extremely large bag of stuffed toys over her shoulder, "But for some reason...I just gotta check it out," (sniffs air) What's that smell? (ditto) Do.do I smell.a bad plot? (ditto) I.think you do. she says with a smile, and heads off towards the ominous tent. At the shooting gallery, Tenchi and company arrive there, Mihoshi is the first one there...take a guess what she pulls out of her pocket. (sniffs air) Do.I smell plagiarism? Bite me. After paying the clerk, she pulls out her blaster and aims it at the target...the other three restrain her. (to JS) You had to use that joke, didn't you? (angry) It was right there! I had to do some kind of joke! "Mihoshi! Number one rule...NEVER REVEAL YOUR WEAPONS!" Kiyone screams at Mihoshi, not noticing that every one within a twenty foot radius has run away either from the gun Mihoshi pulled out, or Kiyone's screams about revealing a weapon. Sorry, but I'd say about a twenty MILE radius maybe. "We might want to get out of here," Tenchi says nervously, "the cops might be here real soon." As if on cue, (as director) No, no, NO! Can't you people act?! You came in too early, do the scene again! police sirens come blaring up the streets. Broka throws Kiyone on his back and picks up the other two in his arm. "Hang on!" he yells as he powers up and quickly flies away from there. Meanwhile... (there are a lot of scene changes so far, I know) Only about four, not bad for the first five minutes. And that doesn't include the notes. (as director) I am doing this by myself! Work with me here people! Ryoko pulls back the curtain of the tent...and sees an old woman sitting on a futon. She raises her head towards Ryoko. "Welcome child. Please, have a seat," I didn't know Tenchi's great aunt had a part in this. on these words, Ryoko graciously sits down. (snickers) Ryoko does anything BUT graciously. Die saiya-scumbag. "Now, I know what you want, and you'll get it...but for me to...give you absoulutely what you want...you must do some minor things for me." Eh.o_O? (scratches head) That didn't come out right. "I'm not doing anything until you tell me exactly what I want," Ryoko says with a hint of disbelief. Woah, back up, what'd we miss here? (going through files) Maybe some of the file got deleted. The old woman smiles, "Very well," she lifts her head up and closes her eyes, "Ah...I see many young women surrounding something...you are in there. And what's this? A young man, very muscular, is standing right next to the girls...laughing at the thing the other young woman are surrounding..." (as old woman) I must.keep talking like.William.Shatner. "That's Broka probably laughing at Tenchi," Ryoko says, with a little curiosity. "Mmm hmmm...and you are arguing with another young lady...with long purple ponytails...and she has an accent in her voice...like a...a..." "Bitchy accent? Snobby accent? The "high and mighty" accent? The "I'm an extremely popular princess and you're not," kind of accent?" (as old woman) BINGO! YAHTZEE! (The others stare nervously at him) "Yes...that's it. And two other women are fighting, one keeps apologizing constantly and constantly, and the other is trying to ring her neck..." (to JS) Well, you got all the stereotypes down. "Mihoshi and Kiyone...go on," Ryoko says with her full attention on the old woman. "And two smaller woman, but I'm having trouble with the red haired one, she keeps changing from a twelve year old girl to a very gorgeous teenager." Ah.I see the continuity mix. Ryoko is too shockd for words. (as narrarator) She was so shocked she forgot the 'e'! "And the young boy in the middle...he's a cute kid, but very shy and won't speak up his feelings to anyone. He is the object of your affection, this Tenchi." You got everything down with her mystical, mysterious ways. (folds arms over chest) I'm still not letting you out to get some warm water. (whining) But these pants are giving me a rash! Ryoko almost falls on her face from leaning so close to the old woman. She opens her eyes and smiles at Ryoko, "Is that it? Is he your object of affection?" (as herself/hick) Yo' dern tootin'! Ryoko quickly nods his head, the woman smiles some more, "I got just the thing that will make you yours," she gets up and heads to the back of the tent. She returns a minute later with a large box, she sets it down in front of her and looks at Ryoko. "Of course, before I give you this, you must give me something in return." Uh-oh. "Anything! ANYTHING!" "Ten thousand yen," (face-fault) Ryoko doesn't mind falling to the ground now, her face nearly buried in the dirt. She gets up and starts to yell. "Ten thousand yen?! I don't have that kind of money! (as Rufa) Oh well, we're just going to have to sell Asuka's favors. (holds mallet above head) Don't touch me. How am I supposed to buy something that will give me Tenchi?!" "Sorry lady, it's a business and this is how you run it," Ooh.feisty. Ryoko is shocked at the quickness of change in the old womans voice. "But, I'll be here all day, and if you return with the money...I'll gladly sell you this box." Ryoko looks coldly at the woman, and storms out of the tent. "Ten thousand yen? Only Ayeka has that much money, not even with all the other girls money put together I still won't be able to..." "Broka! Where'd you get all that money?!" (puts hand above eyes) Oh, oh there it goes. (ditto) What? The plot. I don't.oh, never mind, I see it! "I...uh...borrowed it off of Ayeka." Define borrow. Ryoko grins at her oppurtunity. She turns around to see Broka arguing with Tenchi, Mihoshi for some reason smiling, and Kiyone looking a little nautious (as Kindergarten teacher) Okay class, today we're going to learn how to spell nauseous.repeat after me. (angry) The computer didn't have a spell check! "That was fun! Can we do that again?!" Mihoshi squeals, completely ignoring the two guys arguing. Yep, that's Mihoshi all right. "You know you're not supposed to take money from her unless you ask!" Tenchi screams at Broka. "Well...it wasn't like she was going to need it anyway. Last time I saw her she was frozen to a bench," Broka nervously says. Ah ah ah, she was ON a bench, she was frozen to the car seat. "Hey Broka," Ryoko intterupts their conversation, "Just how much money do you have there?" (as Kindergarten teacher) The next word is interrupt. (pissed) I SAID THERE WAS NO SPELL CHECK! "Huh...(he flips the wallet open and looks through some yen)...about ten- thousand..." (sarcastically) Gee, what a coincidence. "TEN-THOUSAND?!" Tenchi and Kiyone scream. "Do you know that pickpocketing is illegeal?! And with that kind of money?!" Kiyone says, showing her authority as a GP. What authority? She was stationed on Earth. Watch it, Kiyone happens to be my favorite ani-babe from that series. Oh really. (glomps Asuka) But I still love you! ^_^ You have till five to let go of me. "I...guess so." "I can take that off of your hands if you want me to?" Ryoko kindly asks. Broka, sensing something is up, starts to look even more worried. (to Broka) Why the hell would you be worried of women?! You're a freakin' saiyan! Have you ever been maliciously attacked by a scorned woman? Not really. Then shut up. "I can handle this money on my own Ryoko. I don't need your help." "Maybe you can handle the money...but can you handle Ayeka? I mean," Ryoko goes into her 'innocent girl' routine, Hey bucko! I AM an innocent girl! (fake cough) *coughbullshit* "She can be so devilish and won't stop until all your life signs are on the edge," she says, coming closer and closer to Broka with those big puppy dog eyes. "Forget it," Tenchi thinks as he storms towards Nobiyouki. Hmm.everybody's storming off somewhere. "Some people will just never learn," (stares at JS) Yes.I know. (hides handcuffs and chocolate sauce) Kiyone gets out, sighs, then heads towards the direction Tenchi is going, with Mihoshi trailing closely behind. "Hey guys! Where are you going? You can't leave me here with her." "Please...I'll take all the blame for it. I know how to handle Ayeka." Woah, someone's way out of character. "I'm sure you do, and so do I." Either way it ends up in blood. She flirtiously pushes her head into his side, "I'll be sure to put it to good use." Broka shrieks and leaps back, "YOU'RE HIGH AREN'T YOU?! THAT IS NOT THE SAME RYOKO THAT WAS IN THE VAN WHEN SHE THREATENED TO KILL ME FOR DRINKING HER SODA!" THAT sounds like Ryoko! I'm going to hurt you. Ryoko blows the whole innocen Apparently Broka figured it out as well. Ryoko grabs his collar, "Don't HI me! You either give me the money, or I'll tell the girls who sent all those nude pictures of them into every porno magazine around FOR BEER MONEY!" (holds hand out) Give 'em to me. (passes over some photos) Damn. "You...you wouldn't!" "Try me Saiya-jin scum!" Hey, that's my line! But it is your line. Oh...I guess it is, isn't it. (announcer) Who's Line Is It Anyway?! "All right, all right," he fingers through his wallet and hands Ryoko the money, "You happy?" She jumps with joy, "VERY! ^_^". She runs over Broka going towards the tent. "I don't even want to know," Broka says to himself, brushing the dirt off. Ryoko runs into the tent and shoves the money in the woman's face, "Here's your sticking (looks at JS) So the money around here is sticky. (goes SSJ4) One more comment on my spelling and I'll blast them. money, now how do I get Tenchi?!" Ryoko yells with great impatience. The old woman counts the money, smiles and stuffs it in her pocket, "Very good. Now, here's the box," she slides the box towards Ryoko. She rips the lid open to find a very kinky maid's outfit, Ooh.kink-kay. and several dozen boxes of pink powder...she is not very amused. "What the hell is..." she stops, realizing that the woman isn't there any more. Electricity shoots through her (starts acting like she's being electrocuted) Not, bad, but it still ain't the real thing. (pulls out a stun gun and shocks Joe) You're right, the real way is better. Shocking. as she picks up the big box and storms out of the tent. "Since I bought it I might as well take it, it might make good firewood. Look, the quotation mark ran away from the bad plot. (Nothing happens) (looks at Joe) Well? You think I'm going to hurt MY Asuka-chan. [KA-BOOM!] "Looks as if Ayeka caught Broka," Ryoko thinks to herself. Who else could she be thinking to? Ryo-Ohki. Washu. (sulks) So I was wrong for once in my life, sue me. "YOU ARE SO DEAD YOU OVERGROWN APE!" That's your basic line over at Bulma's house. (Vegetta stares JS down) Broka runs by Ryoko at Mock 3, Ayeka quickly following, "I'm sorry Ayeka! How many times do I have to tell you that?!" Uh...(looks through a large notepad)...one million, five hundred and thirty three thousand, nine hundred and three times. I think you need to go on vacation. And leave my Tenchi with Miss Snot-nose? Forget it. "YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL!" (as Broka) If I'm going, I'm taking someone with me. (JS grabs Asuka by the waist and drags through a newly opened portal in the floor, the others sweatdrop) A drenched Nobiyouki walks next to Ryoko, "I think it's time to go home. What's that you got there Ryoko?" (opens shirt, exposing her chest) They're called breasts, honey. I would be aroused if it weren't for the fact I'm a girl right now. (Then, they hear extremely familiar sounds) *BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK * (The others sweatdrop as Asuka and JS are floated back up the portal, Asuka with a large mallet in her hand, and JS a pile of mush, they take their seats) "Nothing," Ryoko says angerily. Out of nowhere Washu walks up to them. (Out of nowhere, Washu walks up behind Ryoko) Oh Ryoko dear, whatcha doin? (points to screen) What does it look like we're doing? Can I join? No. (still mush) Yes. Thank you! (she takes a seat next to Ranma) "And where have you been Washu?" "Doing some experiments. (with Washu on fic) Doing some experiments. (she blinks several times in shock) (looks at Ryoko and grins) Like mother, like daughter. (Ryoko growls at him) What's in the box?" "Junk!" ************* (miraciously becomes whole) OOH! Looky, looky, Asuky-chan! Stars! Lots and lots of them! (starts strangling him) You're just like Poet! (to Ranma) Do they do this all the time? Yup. Back at the house, everyone has taken back to doing their regular chores, but Broka is keeping a safe distance from Ayeka. What's a safe distance? For Ayeka, I'd say about three miles. She was punning. Doh! Ryoko is pulling some wash items for the onsen. She finishes, and heads out to the onsen. Before she goes out there, however, she picks up one of the small boxes filled with the pink powder, no reason for doing it, just out of curiosity. (singing) I smell a lemon! She heads into the onsen, and kneels next to the water. She removes her robe very gracefully, and slips into the water. (makes sounds of Ryoko slipping on a bar of soap, giggles all around) "That old hag," she thinks to herself, "If I ever find her again, she'll regret ever trying to rip me off," What'd I miss? Everybody went to a fair and a bunch of useless stuff happened then this old woman ripped Ryoko off for some expensive bad plot powder that is probably going to lead to our use of all vomit bags in this theater. Got it. (grabs his vomit bag) Shoot, I've been gipped, there's none in here! she pours some sake into a small cup and gulps it down and smiles, "At least I didn't get the blame for it. That dirty saiyan IS good for one thing, I guess." She looks over the sake bottle and sees the box, she grabs the box and opens the lid. It isn't very special powder, Woah, Shampoo's narrarating. just a dull pink color. "What the heck is this anyway," she dabs a little on her finger, sniffs it, then licks it off, "Taste's pretty good," Tastes like chicken! (they stare at each other and sweat) she looks on the side of the box. It has a a warning saying, 'DO NOT INHALE OR INGEST IN EXCESS!' That's a pretty loud box. (rubs ear) I know, I'm next to the speaker. "Usually I wouldn't follow these kind of warnings but I'm tired," she stretches and lays into the water, "I'll just rest my eyes for a minute," she closes her eyes and silently falls asleep. (starts making sounds of Ryoko drowning, all except Washu and Ryoko laugh) She wakens about an hour later with this weird feeling in her. "That was a nice nap (yawn)," (yawns) (yawns) (yawns) (yawns) (yawns) (yawns) (screaming) I GET THE POINT, ENOUGH ALREADY! (High fives all around) she gets out of the water and puts on her robe, then notices that the onsen is descending, "That's weird, I wasn't ready to get out..." (sarcastically) I didn't realize that's how the onsen worked. I just guessed, I mean, how are they supposed to get up there? "Time for a nice bath," Tenchi says out loud with a happy tone to it. Out of nowhere, a shiver runs through Ryoko's spine. (shiver) I hope that wasn't meant for me. "That was weird," her mood suddenly changes, "but no time to worry about it now, Tenchi's coming." She picks up the sake bottle and runs into the men's washroom...never noticing that Broka has sprinted past Tenchi screaming, "FIRST ONE TO THE ONSEN!" (as Broka) FIRST ONE TO GET SCREWED! (grabs JS's collar) HE BETTER NOT BE! (choking) Not...so...tight... Ryoko quickly slides the door open, and shuts it. She walks all the way to the water's edge and looks into the water. She smiles as she takes a swig of the sake in her hands, and quickly throws it away from her. (as Nobuyuki) *BONK* OW! She removes her robe, and listens for the sound of the door. It comes, (inquisitive) The door can... (Washu and Asuka cover Ranma's mouth) (finishing Ranma) ........................cum? (Asuka elbows him in the face) Ouchies... and she smiles even more. She bends down and starts to wash her calves. Broka stares in shock. PIKACHU! (reaches over Asuka and smacks JS) I hear that from Peter too many times. "What the hell is she doing," he thinks to himself, then realizes that he beat Tenchi up here, so she must be waiting for him. It wasn't that Broka didn't find Ryoko attarctive or anything like that, but thinks of her and the other girls more like sisters, Although, if he's from the south side of Vegetta, that wouldn't be a problem. (high fives Vegetta) Good one. (turns to camera) I apologize to the people of Georgia and other southern states on behalf of those two idiots. and not to intrude on their lives. But why not have some fun, it couldn't hurt...well, maybe it could, but it would be worth it. (as Clint Eastwood) The question is...are you felling lucky? Well do ya...punk? He looks around for something, then looks back up at Ryoko, back still to Broka, but is now washing her breasts seductively. (to JS) Your nose is bleeding. And it's gonna keep bleeding. Why? Are you jealous? (outraged) NO! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BE?! (leans closer to her) Because you loooove me. (outraged) YOU SICK BASTARD, GET AWAY FROM ME! (now nose-to-nose) Let's celebrate our love with a kiss. (He grabs Asuka's shoulders, dips her and plants a nice, big one on her lips, others stare bug eyed) (moving to end of theater) Get back everyone, she's gonna blow when they break. He looks at his hand, and grins evily. (Asuka is able to break the kiss and she throws him hard against the ground, leaps on him, and starts thrashing him, others return to MST'ing) Ryoko washes slowly, making sure to get every part of her body, and enough so that Tenchi would get aroused, and realize what he wants. Me? You're lucky you're all the way over there. (until I say, she's beating the living SHIT out of JS) YOU ARE GOING TO DIE! She hears footsteps approaching her, and grins to herself, "Yes Tenchi. Finally, you are mine." Or Broka is yours. The same goes for you too Ranma. YOU WANT TO KISS SOMETHING?! KISS MY FUCKING FIST! "HOW'S IT GOING SWEET CHEEKS?!" (responding) JUST FINE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH...(realizes what she just did)...I got to keep my mouth shut. I SHOULD CUT OFF YOUR DAMN NUTS! (Vegetta shudders at the thought) I'd be sick if it wasn't for the fact I'm not really myself right now. Ryoko wakes from from her daze to suddenly find that Tenchi's voice has grown deeper (as Barry White) Much deeper. (as 70's back-up singers) SHAFT! Damn straight. ...then she feels the hard hand smacking against her left butt cheek. [SMACK!] She screams and whips around to see Broka laughing hysterically, trying to stay on his feet. You just got an invintation to the rest of your race. YOU'RE GOING TO BE JOINING THE DINOSAURS! (looks up) I guess the author is running out of ideas for threats. (A large booming voice echoes throughout the theater) Sorry. S'a right. [BOOM!] See? (Asuka finally gets up, the rest of the crew, except JS, he's near dead, return to their seats) Broka crashes through the onsen door, just barely escaping the giant fireball approaching him, (southern accent) Run Broka! Run! he sprints down the hall, knocking over Tenchi. Ryoko flies out of the door with fire blazing around her. Eee...that's scarier then hell. (keeping a smile, chanting) You can kiss my a-ass! Why does the phrase...eh-hem...(as Shayla-Shayla) GET READY TO DIE...(normal) come to mind? "YOU GET BACK HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!" "Who are you calling a man," Broka calls back in a bad falsetto voice. (as announcer) And today, Broka's part will be played by Makoto Mizuhara. (as Broka/Makoto) I'm gonna die! "YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Hey! Hold on! (she starts going through a file) What's the matter? That's almost the exact same thing I said to Joe right before we came in here. Ooh...creepy. Broka leaps into the air and flies to the house. As soon as he lands, he takes off in another sprint into the house, and into Washu's lab. Hey! What's he doing in my lab?! (still in bad form) Refuge. (sarcastically) Oh, you're still alive? I was afraid you weren't going to make it out of that. (once again has miraciously healed himself) You really mean it?! (buries head in hands) When will this stop? Ryoko quickly follows him and bangs on the door. "OPEN THIS DOOR! LET ME IN!" "Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin chin," Broka chants back. (with Broka) Not by the hairs on my chinny-chin chin! (stare in shock for a while) (to JS) Why'd you do that for?! (smiles innocently) Just jumping the gun. "YOU'LL HAVE TO COME OUT SOME TIME, AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU'LL GET IT, BUT GOOD!" She teleports back to the onsen, mad as all hell. Little does Broka realize that she is SO right. (stare in horror and shock) Feeling of dread. ************** A day has passed since Ryoko nearly killed Broka. They made ends meet, through blood and bruises though. That's how all conflicts are settled around here. (rubs neck) I know. (keeping mallet at ready) They wouldn't be if you kept your hands to yourself. Ryoko has just wakened up, and awaited everyone else for breakfast. First one down, is Sasami, following closely by Nobiyouki. What were you two doing up there? (Sasami) Each other. (He is respectfully beat into a pulp by the other members, including Ranma) But Sasami doesn't have on her regular cooking close, she has on some traveling clothes. How can you tell the difference? "Hey Sasami. What's with the outfit," Ryoko asks. (has miraciously healed; as Sasami) Oh me? I just got a part-time job at Hooters. (More thrashing of the hentai) "Oh, father is just going to take me to a friend of his. I won't be back for about a week though, so you'll have to manage on your own." ( to JS) Nice try to get Sasami out of there before something happens. Lame, but nice try. (in pain) Thanks... "What," Ryoko asks in confusion. "She insisted that I take her with me, and it isn't like there's nothing wrong with taking her, so I agreed," Nobiyouki answers her. Ryoko turns around and kneels on the couch. "But who's going to cook for us?" Hopefully Washu. Thank you honey. (whispering to Ryoko) But I thought Washu was as bad a cook as you. (whispers back) That's only in the TV, she actually a fairly decent cook in the OAV's. ":I shall do that," comes a very demure voice from the staris, "Being Sasami's sister, I take some lessons from her, and can cook almost as good as she does." Uh-oh. Ryoko, you'd better check your food before you eat it. It wouldn't really matter, I can't taste a damn thing. "I'll belive it when I see it," Ryoko agressively says back. "Then prepare to believe," You shall believe. (healed; as Darth Vader) It is your destiny. Is there some kind of healing spell you use to do that? (as Xellos) THAT...is a secret! ^_^ Ayeka says, walking down the steps as if entering a grand ballroom. She walks through the door while Mihoshi and Kiyone come from their room. (as Kiyone) We're going to have to do that more often. (as Mihoshi) With or without the Cool Whip? Ranma! Catch! (throws a thermos to Ranma) (catches thermos, splashes water on him, turns back into a male) Much better. "Mihoshi, try to behave like a civilized person today, please?" "What are you talking about? I am civilized, a little clumsy, but civilized." "'A little?'" Kiyone fires back. (with Kiyone) A little?! And how little it is. What? The plot or Mihoshi's brain capacity? Hmm...both. Ryoko watches the two officers make their way to the table, and Sasami and Nobiuyouki leaving. "Where's Tenchi and Broka," Mihoshi asks. (glares daggers at JS) Preferebly sleeping in SEPERATE beds! Don't worry, if anyone goes homo in my fics it's the women. (The women don't look real pleased with that) "Must still be asleep," Kiyone answers, "either that or they're not feeling well." "Broka's out like a light, and Tenchi had a little accident when he woke up," Ryoko says. And that accident has a name. "Did that accident happened to be called Ryoko," Ayeka snobbishly asks. See? Ryoko sticks her tongue out at her. If Ryoko wasn't next to me I'd make a great joke. Who's stopping you? That sword in your hand. Good boy. "Oh, could somebody help me with the cooking? It's not much, I just need someone to pour some garlic into the sauce." "I'll do it," Mihoshi yells, quickly jumping to her feet and running into the kitchen. "Good, now don't put too much on it now. Only three tablespoons. That sauce is for tommorow night, and it'll spoil if you put too much on it." Mihoshi rummages through the cuboards, but only finds an empty shaker, (singing) Shake shake shake! Shake shake shake! Shake your booty! "We're all out of garlic." "There's some more in the bottom cuboard, in a small box." (as Ayeka) Right next to the small box of "Bad Plot Device". Mihoshi opens the door to find one large box with many smaller boxes in them, the garlic is pink, but she thinks that it's a new kind of garlic. She scoops three spoonful's of it, and pours it into the sauce. (to JS) You'r the only person I know who could make a bad plot go even worse. I'm not good at lemons, all right. Mihoshi quickly returns to the table, they eat ten minues later, then leave. Around eleven o'clock, Broka and Tenchi started to wake up, and Ryoko and Kiyone are sitting on the couch, Ryoko curiously sifting through (what else) the powder. What else? "What is that Ryoko," Kiyone asks. "Huh, oh, oh, this. It's nothing, just something I found." ...for ten-thousand yen. Around that time, Mihoshi comes out of the kitchen with several boxes of her own. "Hey Kiyone! What is this?! I thought it was some new garlic, but I tried it, and it doesn't taste like garlic. It's actually kind of sweet." I'd say a blend of natural herb enhancers and crushed Viagra. (Others glare at him) "And you put it in Ayeka's teriyaki sauce didn't you?" "Uh-huh." "Mihoshi, why do I got to keep telling you to watch what you're doing," (as Mihoshi) Because I have the attention span of a squid. Vegetta, you know what I said about Kiyone? Yeah. What about it? The same applies to Mihoshi. Kiyone says, very frustrated. Mihoshi's eyes start to tear up, "I'm sorry Kiyone, I only wanted to help." Kiyone sighs, "No one will notice anyway, don't worry about it." I'm sure they'll start noticng it when they start masturbating for no reason. Isn't that the point? (Others face-fault) "And put those boxes down, I payed ten-thousand yen for them!" Ryoko yells back. "You what?" Ayeka then comes through the hall doorway, "I need someone to help me hang clothes, I can't do everything by myself you know." But you can surely try! "Coming!" Mihoshi yells. Then...the inevitable happens, Broka and Tenchi come yawning from the top of the stairs as Mihoshi runs over to help Ayeka. (yawn) (yawns) (yawns) (farts) EEWWWW! (starts doing a queer dance; starts singing) I broke your concentration! She doesn't see the tipped over sake bottle on the floor, and steps right onto it. Hold on! Where'd the sake bottle come from?! It's just there serving as an extra bad plot device! I mean, where did the bananna peel come from in the Mihoshi Special?! She falls backwards, sending billions upon billions of of the powder into the air. Conviently enough, a big ball of the stuff hits each girl right in the face, (dully) Conviently. and Tenchi and Broka take a deep breath of it. "What the *cough* hell is this?! *cough*" Tenchi yells. (as Broka) A *cough* bad plot! *cough* "I *cough* know this from *cough* somewhere." Broka answers back. The four girls however, seem to be coughing uncontrolably. As the dust clears, Tenchi coughs some more times before filtering it out of his system, "You know this stuff from somewhere?" he asks, trying to get the weird taste out of his mouth. Broka smacks his lips together, Taste's like chicken! (stare at each other in confusion) I think the fic's getting to us. then notices a small patch of the powder on the railing, he swipes a little off with his finger, tastes it, then comes with a conclusion, "AH-HA! (as Broka) A bad-plot device! Okay, enough with the bad plot jokes, no one's laughing anymore. I thought so!" he turns to Tenchi, "This stuff is called Xtrogen 109. It's is a sexually stimulating powder that is illegeal in over one-million planets." Is there one million planets? (sarcastically) DUH! The universe is only infinity! "Illegeal?!" Illegeal...something against the law; not legal. (sarcastic) Thank you Mr. Thesaurus. (smiles wide) Webster, eat your heart out. "Don't worry, Earth hasn't really reached the vastness of uter space, so it's one of the few planets that will permit it." As soon as it reads this fic, it will be illegeal. "So, are we in any trouble?" (extremely sarcastic) Is the pope Jewish? Does a bear shit in the toilet? Do people like Vanilla Ice? Is this fic going to receive a Newberry Award? Is lightning going to strike twice in the same place? Is fire going to come out of my ass? Was 'Ed' a good movie? Is Pauly Shore the funniest man in history? Is Pauly Shore FUNNY? Am I handsome? Is Eddie Guerro ever going to become WWF champion? Are we ever going to see Trish and Stacy make out in front of everybody? Is Tenchi ever going to grow a pair? Is Mihoshi going to become the worlds greatest scientific genius in the universe? Will Frieza ever get off his ego- trip, even AFTER he's dead? Is Xellos EVER serious? Does Azumi look like a troll? Am I ever going to shut up about all these frickin' reversed analomies and comparison that every flippin' person in the world has heard at least once in their bippity boppin' doo life? (all of a sudden, a bear statue crushes him, the others, including the fic characters, are sweating like crazy and Washu is staring with her holographic computer in front of her) That does it, that's the last time we let him read all of Peter Suzuki's fic three times in a day. My God...I think that kiss gave him a sugar buzz. Buzz? I'd say more of an earthquake. "Not really, (in low, echoing voice) Doooonnnnn't yoouuuuu believe iiiiit. it doesn't affect men that much, in makes us a little horny, (from underneath the statue) Damnit! I can't move! RANMA! You're my only hope! (as Damaramu) I shall do this thing! Quick! Before it's too late! (as Austin Powers) Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Do I make you horny baby? Do I?! Do I make you RAN-day?! You da' man! but that's all. This stuff is based more on wo men, being as it contains the hormones that controls a woman's sex drive." For Ryoko, it's this...(starts making car stalling noises) (keeping her cool) Uh-uh, like this...(pulls out a Olds 350 rocket four barrel and revs it up) (doing that golf clap) I'll give you credit for that one. "Why is it illegeal?" It's used as a bad... (with hand over his mouth) That's enough. "Because the hormoes used are of the rawest form. They are so raw, that too much will drive a woman over the edge, turning them into a sex monster. (still stuck, but head is sticking out) The greatest movie ever, folks! (Asuka and Ryoko each punch him squarely in the head) It's illegeal because during the time when it was used the most..." "Two thousand years ago?" "You'd be surprised. Woah, how'd Tenchi know that? (struggling to get out) It could be the fact..(this thing weighs a ton)..that Broka was sealed..(can someone help me)..for two-thousand years, and..(almost got it)..couldn't know about anything until he was freed...*POP*...much better. (picks statue up and throws it across the room) Anyway, during that time, there were over one hundred million cases of women raping men. ............................ We're in trouble. (as Myra from Family Matters)...with a capital -ouble. Although it's hard to say it's rape, The proper term is sexual harassment. (sarcastic) Thank you for pointing that out to us. most of the men caught up in it allowed the women to do that. But after that it was illegeal, being as they were getting kind of scared when people more built then me started to run to them and cry." I feel sick. Note, I said more BUILT, I never said they were stronger then him. I still feel sick. "Oh, okay..." (as Tenchi; unenthused) Well if that's just the case then... Both of their eyes shoot open, (pulls out an Uzi and starts firing at the screen) "What?" They slowly turn their head and notice that the four girls have stopped coughing and are staring at them with hunger in their eyes. Woah, when did Hannibal have a part in this? (forming sword) Since I cut your head off. In a small voice, Broka squeaks out, "They go after the first man they see, and since we were here at the same time," he takes a big gulp, "they want both of us." Well, I don't know about the other girls, but_I_sure don't want you. "Maybe, if we don't move they won't notice us," They're women! Not dinosaurs! (whistle innocently) Tenchi's observation is quickly broken when they all take a step towards them, "What do we do now?" Dare I say... RUN! "You see the way they're walking?" "Yeah." "Well run the other way." (sucks on a bubble pipe; in an English accent) Brilliant observation Holmes. They burst out in a speed of panic, running through the hallway, the bedroom doors scurrying by. A ball of energy knocks Broka down to his feet. Thus causing him to smack his head against the wall, causing death immedieately. THE END! And Tenchi is able to defend all the women except me and we have hot, passionate, sex. (Other stare at her nervously) Tenchi tries to help him up, but Broka refuses, "No! Run! Save yourself! Just remember one thing! Don't stop! Don't ever stop! (angry) Oh, now THAT'S straight from Jurassic Park! (to Ranma) What's with him? (to Washu) The Jurassic Park series is one of his favorite series. Go! NOW!" Tenchi doesn't have to argue with this one, "The window in my room should be open! Use that as an escape!" Tenchi runs into Broka's room, long enough to hear his screams, "LET GO OF ME! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME-E! AHHHHHHH!" I never knew a saiyans voice could be so high pitched. Let's try it. (punches JS in the balls) (on the ground twitching; in a high soprano) I love you too. his screams get softer when Tenchi realizes his window isn't open. He tries to open it but it's locked, he backs into the door, muttering what he is going to do. Well, if I were in his shoes right now, I'd succumb to them. You would. He doesn't have to answer back as two sleek arms pop through the door and try to grab him. He ducks under them, charges at the window, and crashes through it. (starts to hum, but stops) Is that more like Mission: Impossible or James Bond? (think about it) Hmm...Mission: Impossible. Okay. (start singing the Misson: Impossible theme song) (while others are still singing) Tom Cruise IS Tenchi Masaki He rolls down the roof and hits the ground harshly. (as ground) OW! Dammit, what is with these people?! Always punching me and hitting me! Can we PLEASE try new jokes? Other MST'rs aren't going to be happy if you keep on doing this. He grunts in pain but realizes he has no time to recover and starts to sprint towards the steps of the shrine. I'd do a Forest Gump joke but it's SO old. As he gets to the bottom steps he turns to see Ayeka and Ryoko emerging fom the house, looking around the property. Park Place or Boardwalk? PENNSYLVAINIA AVENUE! (Other stare at him nervously) "Poor Broka," Tenchi thinks to himself, "I don't want to know what Kiyone and Mihoshi are doing to him." Probably cheking out his gun. BB Gun? (All except JS start laughing until a wave of ki singe Ryoko and Vegetta) Remember...he's an SI. He runs as fast as he cans up the stairs, and quickly running out of breath. Gee, breath must be really big to... (hits him upside the head) I said cut it out! As he reaches the top, he nearly collapses from loss of breath, then he turns around to see Ryoko and Ayeka running up the stairs. "No time to rest," OH! OH! What?! What is it? THAT's what I should have named this fic! It'd make sense too. he thinks, and runs into Katsuhito's main office. "Grandpa! Grandpa! You got to help me! The girls are..." he stops when he realizes that he isn't there. On the table is a note saying, (pretending reading note) Dear...Tenchi...the...girls...have...gone...insane...please...save...yourself... I...will...see...you...later...don't...try...looking...for...me.... "Dear Tenchi...I had some last minute business to deal with...I'll be back in a couple days...Have fun ~Katsuhito" ....................... I don't like the "Have fun" part. I was close. "That rotten old man... (to JS) Now, I must admit you had everybody in character up until the whole aphrodisiac thing, but Tenchi would never call his grandpa rotten. (shrugs) he saw that crap last night when he was looking for something to eat," Tenchi growls to himself. He hears the sound of approaching foosteps and Tenchi quickly looks around for somewhere to hide. He then recalls a small cubby hole where he would hide whenever he was in trouble... UGH! [Authors note: Oh all right! That's lame, Well, you know what we have to do to lame animals. (takes out a gun and aims it at JS's head, he goes SSJ4) Asuka, I love you and all, but don't do it. I know! ~ JS]...if he could remember where it was. He found it in no time at all, and quickly jumped into it. It wouldn't really matter, I can sense his body from miles away. (waving hand in front of nose) You can smell it too. (singing) I'll pretend I didn't HEAR that! Safe! (as umpire) He was out! (as coach) Safe! Out! Safe! Out! Out! Safe! Out! Safe! Out! If you don't like my call you can hit the showers! All right. Good...waitaminute! (Others start snickering) (smiles innocently) I love Looney Tunes. As long as he kept quiet, they wouldn't find him for quite a while, hopefully by then the drug would wear off, unless... (scared) CAT! Sit down! ...him. What is he complaining about? He can feel what Tenchi feels. Didn't you get all the data from my original fics? Apparently I didn't. "Shut up." I don't know whether I should like that because he's part of Tenchi...or that he's a part of the saiyan. Saiyans are pretty good in bed, at least that's what Bulma says. (grabbing heads and screaming) TOO MUCH INFORMATION! Bastards. "Shut up." He's scared of me? I said it before, and I'll say it again. Peter used that joke with Ayeka, we don't need YOU doing it as well. Listen, don't tell me what do... (A large ki blast fries her) (smoke billowing from hands) Care to repeat that? "Shut up." (still burned) Tenchi is not gay! I don't know, there is substancial proof that he is. (electricity shooting thriugh her) Like? He lives in a house with five to six voluptious women and he hasn't hit on ONE of them. (more electric) He hits on ME! (Before anyone can argue...) *KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP* (Ryoko, Vegetta, and JS are burned to a cinder by tiny logs) (angry, burned) AYEKA! (Ayeka's hideous laughter can be heard through out the theater) "Shut up." < I bet you had a hard time killing Kagato didn't you?! 'Damn, he's too cute to kill.' That's what you said to yourself, didn't you?!> (to JS) I thought you said... (angry) HE'S NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING! ALL RIGHT! "Shut up." Ewww... "SHUT UP!" Tenchi claspes his hands over his mouth, deep inside his head, he here's the sinister chuckle of Teka. (starts chuckling sinisterly) Before he blacked out, all he saw were two arms wrapping around him, and dragging him through the wall. (laughing starts growing louder, everyone sweatdrops) **************** (now a full-belly Jinnai hysterical laughing) (scared out of their minds) Oh my God! It's a Jinnai reincarnate! (starts laughing louder) Minutes later, at the Masaki house, the alarm is reaching twelve o'clock. Better than ten o'clock. (to JS) Still kind of upset about 10-Chi Clan? (sulking) A little. Tenchi wakes up... ...on a plate of sashimi. (Dramatic music plays in the background) and realizes that he's handcuffed to his bed, everything except his boxers have been removed, I see Paris...(notices Asuka's mallet over his head)...uh...(singing) I'm looking under, a skirt of...(notices Ryoko's sword to his neck)...can't win can I? (with weapons where they were) Nope. and Broka is in another bed at the far end of the room with the same treament. He's already awake, and not too happy. (singing) Don't worry (others make tapping sounds) be happy, don't worry...be happy now. (singing) WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! "When did I get another bed," Tenchi asks. When SOMEONE (looks at JS) decided to do a mass rape scene. (smiles) Oh, how wrong you are. "I don't know, but whatever it is I don't like it," Broka answers him. Tenchi pulls on the handcuffs, they don't even give a little bit, "Hey, you're superstrong, aren't you? You can break these things, can't you?" Well, when you're a clone of the person that wrote you you have a tendency to take after them. (goes ultra-super saiyan, flexes a bit for Asuka; as Arnold Shwartzenager) Are you calling me a girly man? (buries head in hands) "You don't think I already tried that," Broka says with aggitation. "But why can't you?! You're the strongest person in the universe, handcuffs should be like toothpicks to you..." (to JS; sarcastically) Did you use a Juraian Cherry wine that reduces a persons power? (JS continues watching the fic) "Look on the side." Tenchi, a little confused, looks over at his handcuffs, on the part wrapped around his wrist, the words "Washu Made," Oh, that explains...(suddenly realize something) THEN BREAK THE DAMN BED POSTS! (writes in book) Make...sure...next...lemon...is...more...believeable... (sweatdrop) You're making another lemon? Not a Tenchi lemon. (sigh in relief) (smiles WIDE) It's of a certain Ctarl-Ctarl. (LARGE sweatdrop, back away from JS) is inscripted on it. "Oh. Well what do we do now?" "What else can we do? Await the inevitable. They inhaled, ingested, and diffused enough of that crap to make them go for three days." (large sweatdrop).............oh shit. (goes teary eyed; as Washu) I'm such a genius! Don't mock me! Tenchi starts to sweat, "You're...kidding? Right?" "Nope. And fatigue to them is like common sense to a drunk. There is none." (grasp the person next to them) Mommy... (reaching for Asuka) Don't leave me out of this. Tenchi would have face-faulted if it weren't for the fact that he's handcuffed down. "We're doomed," he mutters. (in a demonic voice) DOOMED! You are doomed to an world of endless misery and horrible fan fiction! BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA! (scoot away from Vegetta) "We're doomed." "So how did they get you in here?" "Well, after Ryoko blasted me down. Mihoshi and Kiyone each grabbed a leg and (as Broka)...made a wish. (shiver at the thought) dragged me into your room, where they proceeded to strip me and handcuff me to your bed. How 'bout you?" "I stopped running." (vertical lines run down their backs; look to JS) That's it? All that and a bag of chips. Broka breathes with disgust, "I thought I told you never to stop!" (still with lines) Him too? "I couldn't help! I was out of breath! I hid in a small hole I used to go to when I was little, and it worked for a while until...until..." Tenchi grits his teeth in anger. (makes sure no one is going to make a joke) "Couldn't ignore him, could you?" "Nope. He's annoying as hell. After I yelled, Ryoko pulled me through and I don't know what happened after that." "Well, it's only a matter of time before they come up here." (as the one guy from The Price Is Right) All the girls from Tenchi Muyo, come on up! You're the next contestants on... ...THOSE MEN LOOK RIGHT! "Yea. What are they doing anyway? "Beats me, probably finding something arousing to put on," (acts like seventies porn star) So...you like what you see Tenchi? (holds several twenty's in his hands) Oh Asuuuuukaaaa. (grabs the money and stuffs it in his mouth) he stops as he hears footsteps, "What's that?" Death. Pain. Horror. Your worst nightmare... ...and your every dreams! (Others stare at him) Tenchi starts to panic, "They're coming! They're coming!" (as Tenchi) And they haven't even started yet! (whacks him upside the head) Broka starts to tremble with fear, "It was nice knowing ya' buddy," he looks down at his pants, "both of ya's." (covers ears) We did not need to hear that. The door slides open, Broka and Tenchi shriek and close their eyes, after several seconds of silence, (A cricket chirps in the theater) *CHIRP-CHIRP-CHIRP-SQOOSH* (Everybody looks at Vegetta, he stares back) I hate crickets, okay. Is there anything you DO like? (thinks for a minute)....well, I do like it when Bulma... NEVER MIND! they both peek open one eye...then they start to cry with joy. Eh? "WASHU!" (face-fault) They both yell. (getting up) THEY'RE HAPPY TO SEE WASHU?! (getting cocky) Is there something the matter with that? Well,_I_ would be happy to see Washu if I knew what was about to happen to me. Ditto. Same here. Not answering. (Everybody else looks at him, he smiles back) "What's going on? Are you two hiding something?" (angry) That would be something Mihoshi would say! (as Mihoshi) Well, uh...not really. Sorry, just that I haven't been getting many lines since I came over here. (Everybody else tries to comfort her) Broka ignores Washu, "Oh dearest, cutest, sweest littlest, little Washu! You got that right. We are in some sort of a prediciment, could you help us?" (as Washu) What's it worth to ya? (smacks his head) THAT'S what I should have put down. "What's going on?" "No time to explain. Please unlock us and we'll tell you all about it afterwards." "We'll even donate samples for you...plenty of samples." Woah, who's talking here? (looks through files) Uh, from the second "what's going on", Washu, Tenchi, and Broka. (hoping Tenchi said the 'samples' section) Ah poo. "Really? You'll give me samples," both nod their heads, "Well, lets get started," and with that, Washu leaps onto Tenchi and reaches for his pants. (their heads fall limply over the seat and they squirm uncontrollably) Gahguhlughuh. (writes in notebook) So far they're taking this well. "AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" (as Washu) Uh...playing I Spy. (to Washu) You WOULD say something like that! (goes teary eyed, places hands on her cheeks) I'm such a bad girl. "You promised samples, and I'm getting samples. Now hold still." Or do I have to get rough. (pulls out a instrument that looks like an miniature Overfriend creature with needles, everybody else shrieks and leaps back, guys crossing their legs) "WE'LL GIVE YOU SAMPLES AFTERWARDS! NOT NOW!" "LET US GO WASHU OR YOU'LL NEVER BE CUTE AGAIN!" Broka screams at the top of his lungs, (as Broka) EVEN THOUGH THAT MADE NO SENSE AT ALL! vioently trying to break the handcuffs. At that time, the door once again slides open. Broka's face of anger and hatred changes, as he looks over at a beautiful yet deadly sight, Catherine Zeta Jones in a nasty black taddy with a bullwhip? (starts drooling) it changes to a face of fear and horror. At the doorway, the four older women stand there. ITEM CHECK! (reading from a list) Vomit bags? Check! Three five gallon buckets? Check! First aid kit for compulsive seizures? Check! Stomach pump in case any of our vomit gets caught in the esophagus? Check! Hand lotion...(Asuka smacks his upside the head) OW! Sorry...uh, rubber ducky? (singing) Rubber ducky, you're the one! You make bath time... (buries head in hands) This is sad, we have to make our own lines to riff at. Mihoshi, in that kinky little maid's outfit stashed in the box Ryoko bought. Ryoko, in...well...let's just say her birthday suit. Kiyone is just in a big, wet t-shirt, it stretches all the way down to her knees. (nosebleeds) (wiping nose)I'm getting a nosebleed and I'm not even a lesbian. (ditto) I know. (looks over at Ranma, who passed out) Even RANMA is out cold. (drooling, dizzy) I'm the one who wrote this and even I didn't get this aroused. (to JS) Don't touch me. Ayeka...think S&M. S&M? (Everybody else stares at him nervously) YOU?! VEGETTA?! Don't know what S&M is? No, should I? (Ryoko whispers it into his ear, his eyes go wide with excitement) (with anticiation) Really? Besides for the small sliver running down their noses, Broka's and Tenchi's faces are completely drained of blood. Ours too. And we don't like it. Washu is in too much horror to say anything. Ayeka looks at her viciousley. What's viciousley? A glare ten times as worse then viciously. Didn't we have a litttle discussion about this? "Out...now," Yes ma'am! (they rush for the door) That isn't a good... *KKKKRRRAAAAZZZZAAACCCKKKK* (sweatdrop) ...idea. (returning to seat with others, all charred) You could have warned us that the door was shielded. Washu doesn't have to argue with her. Well, so much for any conversation. I like it, short, simple and straight to the point. She slips a little bit before running out of the room, Mihoshi closes the door behind them. Never to be seen from again. GASP! The four walk to the center of the room. Broka and Tenchi are trembling like crazy. (picking up the first aid kit) Well, time to see of this thing really works. All four smile hungerly at them. Then Mihoshi and Kiyone turn to Broka, and Ayeka and Ryoko turn towards Tenchi. (as herself) Why Tenchi, is that a monster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? (pondering the possibilities) Pocket monster? (suddenly thinks of a good joke) Must...resist...urge...damn, I'm going to get beat up anyway. (pretends like he's throwing a pokeball; as Tenchi/Ash Ketchum) Diglett! I choose you! (One thing leads to another...) *BONK BONK BONK BONK* "GALLIC GUUNNNN!" *FA-SHOOOM* *BOOM* *KA-BOOM KA-BOOM KA-BOOM* "HIYA!" *PUNCH* *KICK* *MORE KUNG-FU NOISES!* (rugs hands together) That should do it. (holstering mallet) Let's see him try to heal himself from that one. (rotates shoulders) Haven't felt this good for a while. I'd say he learnd his lesson. (standing behind them unharmed, looking innocent with hands behind back) But you never touched me. WHAT?! (looks over to the cindering person) (wipes a ton of soot from her eyes) You're all dead. (grasp a hold of each other hard) MOMMY! (takes out her holographic computer) So you like Pokemon, huh? (presses a button, a bright flash surrounds the five, and they transform) (as a Magikarp) Magikarp! Magikarp! Magikarp! (as a Togepi) Toge! (as a Ditto) Dit-to! (as a Clefairy) Cle-Clefairy! (as a Gyarados) *ROOAAARRRRR* (screams in a high-pitched voice and presses another button, Vegetta transfroms once again into a...) (as a Psyduck) Psy psy psy! Serves you right. "We'll switch whenever we want to, that all right with you Ryoko?" Kiyone asks, her eyes never leaving Broka. (starts flopping up and down like crazy) MAGIKARP! MAGIKARP! MAGIKARP! (brings out computer again) All right, I'll give you guys sub-titles until I decide to change you back. Toge-prrriiii! [Thanks SO much!] "Fine with me," Ryko answers, licking her lips. Magi! Magi magikarp! [Wow, they didn't have to do much to get Tenchi going. And boy can he shoot far!] Ditto! Ditto ditto! [Wait until I'm back to my regular form.] They all start forward towards their men. Toge, togepi! [And cut off their...] "MAGIKARP!" "PSY PSY PSY!" "CLEFAIRY!" [ASUKA!] Broka desperetly tries to cross his legs, but with his legs handcuffed too, (with a bag of popcorn) Obviously. (tries to reach into the popcorn bag with his little arms) Cle-fair- ry...[Can I have some?] (moves popcorn bag away) When you evolve. (looks sad) Fairy...[Poo.] it's no use. Kiyone wastes no time, gently sliding Broka's boxers down to his ankles, exposing his slightly larger then usual penis. (looks to camera, blows a kiss to the readers) Goodnight everybody! (flopping like crazy) MAGIKARP! MAGIKARP! MAGIKARP! [I wanted to say that!] "Can't we talk about this Kiyone? You know, over some tea? Wine? Sake? Beer?" he stops when Kiyone grabs his penis with her hands, "Cup of sperm, maybe?" Toge-prrrriiii! [That does it.] (she starts waving her arms in a "metronome" sort of way) Toge. Toge. Toge. Toge. Toge. Toge. What are you... *KA-BOOM* (has been burned to the bone with explosion) Okay, I'm ready to turn you back now. (presses a couple buttons, everybody returns to normal) (looking at arms, then grabs her breasts) Ah, yes, back to normal. (whispering in Asuka's ear) You were kind of cute as a Togepi. (sticking up for herself) I'm even cuter this way. (thinks about it) .........yeah, you're right. (starts to give her a hug in her upper extremities, but is stopped when he notices a mallet above his head) Listen, you're really ticking me off. (giving her sad eyes) But Asuka... (blinks several times, then sits back down) Fine. (raises his hand in victory) Score one for the J-man! (hit by Asuka's mallet) (chuckling to herself) I knew you would snap. Kiyone removes one hand from Broka's penis to raise her dripping wet t-shirt above her waist giving Broka a worm's eye view of her vagina. (blow a kiss to you readers) GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY! She then directs his penis straight into her vagina, Gee, I bet Luke wished he had one of those while he shooting the missles into the Death Star. making sure it nudges her clitoris to give her a starting feeling of pleasure. She moans a little while Broka gives a little grunt, trying to ovecome his hormones to fight back against Kiyone...but he was failing. (Everybody is dressed like cheerleaders, Ranma and Ryoko do several backflips, Asuka, JS, and Vegetta are waving pom-poms) (cheering) GO! FIGHT! WIN! GO! FIGHT! WIN! He holds back his semen and tries his hardest not to succumb to his man side, but he was a man after all, and he broke. (as Scotty) She cana take anymore, she'll blow Cap'n! (as Captain Kirk) Set...Enterprise to...secondary...enginges. But it wasn't Kiyone that broke him, while trying to resist, he feels the soft lips of a beautiful blonde on his lips. (singing) So kiss meee.... This broke him, (pulls out a large tree branch and breaks it across her knee) *SNAP* (cross legs) ASUKA! he obediently closes his eyes and kisses Mihoshi passionently back. Ayeka and Ryoko have Tenchi in a panic on the other side of the room. (surprised anger) IN A PANIC?! (with Ryoko squeezing his wrist) OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! LET GO! LET GO! LET GO! LET GO! LET GO! They gently caress his body, making sure to tingle every sensitive nerve that he has. (sarcastically) Like he'd feel it. He's probably dead from loss of blood. Ryoko slides her hand into his boxers, gliding it up and down his penis, Hey Ryoko, when did your hand become a... (places hand over his mouth) Care to finish that? (quickly shakes head) which has grown abnormaly large as well. She slides his boxers down to his ankles as well, and stops a minute to view his penis, (A bright light surrounds Ryoko as she floats slowly into the air and an angelic chorus sings gracefully, everyone looks at her before they look at each other and stifle a laugh) .........Pfft!....Pfft! Pfft!......BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (start laughing uncontrollably) Shut up! Shut up, it's not funny! We're...(chuckles)...not laughing at you. It's just that...(stifles again)...you're getting all hung up over THAT! (points to Tenchi's penis) Obviously...it doesn't take much to please you. Maybe...if you were looking through a magnifying glass. (All start cracking up again until all to familiar logs show up) *KKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP* (burnt to a cinder) Uh... (angry) Why the hell did you shock me?! (A small note floats down from the ceiling) Dear Devil Woman~ For good measures. ~Sincerely, Princess Ayeka Jurai (crushes note) I'm going to hurt her when I get back. before sliding her mouth onto it. (deep voice) Slip and slide, supergeyser! (turns to camera) That's from a commercil in case you didn't know. Tenchi rolls his eyes into the back of his as he feels Ryoko mouth and tongue gently massaging his penis. He has succumbed quicker then Broka belive it or not. So, is he going to be on Ripley's Believe it or Not? I think everyone who's in this scene should be. He realizes this when Ayeka places her bare, clean-shaven leg up to his mouth, where he proceeds to kiss her inner thigh. Ayeka smiles in delight. (looks at Asuka) Uh, Asuka-chan, are you all right? (looking a little pale) Kiyone has started to increase the rate of her rocking, the walls of her vagina rubbing Broka's penis and glans to give him extreme pleasure. Geez, you weren't kidding when you said you'd go ino much, MUCH detail. I'm a man of truth. Kiyone isn't missing out on pleasure though, as Broka's penis touches every pleasurable nerve in Kiyone's vagina. She leans forward a little bit so she can feel Broka's dick rub against her clitoris, for an even more greater sensation. (as TV salesman) Try new, Kiyone's clitoris for that greater sensation in your body, you'll be amazed at how you feel! (customer) I tried Kiyone's clitoris and it was great! And there are many other satisfied customers out there, and you can be one too for only ninety-nine, ninety-nine! OfferonlyavailableincertainpartsofPlutowhenthemoonsofJupiterareinalignmentwithth eEarthandonlywhenpigsandcowsfly. (Everybody else stares at them nervously while Asuka looks at JS) You did this to me. (glomps Asuka) I try my hardest. ^_^ Mihoshi and Broka passionently kiss each other, there tongues quickly touching each others. Mihoshi slowly breaks the kiss, causing Broka to snap out of his sensation in his mouth, and focus more on the feeling in his pelvic region. So they DID cut it... WHAT IS WITH YOU TWO?! DO YOU WANT TO GIVE US NIGHTMARES?! (Ryoko reaches over JS an high fives Asuka) He groans as Kiyone rocks faster and faster, (Vegetta starts singing the theme song to The Lone Ranger while JS starts making galloping noises with his hands) causing Broka to release a waterfall of semen into her pussy, (singing) I'm sing-ing in the rain! Just sing-ing in the rain! What a glor-ious feel-ing I'm hap-py again! Kiyone also groans to this, having to remove a hand from his waist to grab her hair so as not to scream out. Mihoshi climbs on top of Broka's chest, sliding her frilly maids skirt to show Broka her vagina. She moves close enough to tease Broka by rubbing her pussy on his face, pulling it back when Broka tries to reach for it. Now that's cruel. (Ryoko glares at him) (to Ranma) What's the matter with you? You've said barely anything this whole scene. I'm just trying not to get nauseous. Eventually, he is able to slide his tongue into it, Mihoshi doesn't need to pull back, as he dives his tongue deep into the blondes vagina. (Ranma opens his mouth to say something) "Tastes like chicken," he thinks to himself. (face-fault) (They quickly get back up and glare daggrers at JS) KNOCK THAT OFF! Ryoko also increases her rate of motion, hoping Tenchi would let himself go, and give her a new taste to live on. O_o' (snickering) I don't remember writing that, but it's funny. She alo makes sure her tongue gets every millimeter of his dick. Tenchi at this time kisses Ayeka's thigh ravishingly, nearly ignoring the pleasure Ryoko is giving him. (grabbing JS's arm again, yelling at Tenchi) How in the hell could you be ignoring me?! You're just kissing that bitches thigh, AND I'M GIVING YOU A BLOW JOB! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! He moves down Ayeka's leg towards her vagina, but she moves his face away fromit every time he attempts it. Wanting to make sure all her nerves feel the pleasure, but Ryoko interrupts that. "Hey Ayeka. Do you mind saving a little of him for me? I'm hitting a dry well over here," You've been hitting a dry well since the first time you met him. (fires multiple ki blasts at Vegetta) DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! she passively asks, then continues to her job. (singing) OHHHHHHH! I've, been working on the railllllroooaad allll the live long dayyyyy! Oh, I've been working...on....the...rail...road (stops when he notices everyone glaring at him, he pulls out a bugle and starts playing 'taps') (The camera gives you a view of the splendid castle while sounds of hurt and pain erupt from the interior) (Back in the theater, JS has turned into that thing from Beetle Bailey after the Sarge stomps him) Hentai. "Fine," Ayeka says, removing her leg from Tenchi's mouth, which is still moving. She walks over to the moaning Kiyone, where she slips out of her black, leathery outfit. Well, we knew it was coming. She taps Kiyone on the shoulder, but she doesn't make any recognition of her presence. Oooohhh! Big word! Ayeka then grabs Kiyone's hair as Kiyone moans even louder, and opens an eye to see Ayeka. (as Kiyone) PEEK-A-BOO! She removes herself from Broka's manhood, Really? He has a manhood? (still like crumpled paper) You want to see mine. No, but do you want to see my Eva kick your ass? and walks over to Tenchi and Ryoko's business cubicle. (as Tenchi) Miss Ryoko, I would like you to take a letter for me. Where do you want me to take it? (Washu pulls out a drumset and does a rimshot) Ayeka looks at Broka's rocking penis, (turn green) BLEAH! then at Mihoshi in her state of ecstacy, with her moans becoming low screams as Broka digs his tongue and mouth into her cavity. (JS has healed himself again as the scene plays out, he's about to sing another diddy but the glare that comes from his crewmates makes him think twice about it) Ayeka reaches into her outfit on the floor to pull out a small key. (as Eddy) This key could open Al Capone's wallet! (as Ed) Does Al Capone's wallet have pictures in it? "I think he's ready," (as Ayeka looking into a recipe book) Let's see...simmer with Mihoshi until it comes to a boil...yep, he's ready! she says to himself, and unlocks Broka's feet from the handcuffs. As soon as she gets the last one off, his legs wrap around her waist, causing her ass to be plunged by his cock. (leap out of their seats and grab their butts) HOLY SHIT! I don't want to sit down for a week. (sways around with a sick look) (as Filbert from Rocko's Modern Life) I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous. I'm nauseous. She moans a little as Broka rocks up and down with his waist. "Mi-ho-shi-shi- shi," (Everyone flinches each time she repeats a syllable) Ayeka calls out, barely able to speak, "he-he-hear,"and she hands Mihoshi the key. She is barely able to control herself while Broka is eating away, After what just happened I don't want to eat for a week. Is it natural that my ass seems to be twitching? You want me to massage it? After you make P-chan fly. I'll stick to the Ranma 1/2 jokes, thank you. but manages to lean forward enough to unlock the handcuffs around his waist. At that moment Broka shot up, Mihoshi still attached. Oh dear Lord. O_o' This...this is not natural. But he didn't try to escape, instead, he pulled himself closer to Ayeka's body, continuing eating at Mihoshi's All You Can Eat Buffet. WAH! (turn around in circles for several seconds before face- faulting, JS is laughing his ass off) That was my (snicker) best joke of the whole fic. Tonight only, of course. (face-fault while still on the floor) (blinks several times, before writing in a notebook) Wendsday, August 1, crew preforms a double face-fault, expecting worse. Kiyone also climbs up on Tenchi's rocking body. She climbs onto his chest, and gently kisses his forehead. She scootches her self colser to him, and kisses him all over his face. (while others are getting up; as Kiyone) And one for your nose...and one for your eye...and one for your cheek...and one for your ear...and one for your lips. (grabs Asuka and once again kisses her, everyone else blink in wide shock before scrambling to their end of the theater) DOESN'T HE GIVE UP?! (They break the kiss but instead of thrashing him, she leaps to the back of the theater and Eva 02 comes out and start beating the shit out of him) (The camera once again gives you a nice view of the castle as more sounds of pain and terror erupt from the interior) (Back in the theater, everyone except JS, who is nowhere to be found, are surveying the broken chairs, blood-painted walls, the undamaged Eva, and the remarkably unharmed movie screen) Well, I'll go get some folding chairs. No need to Ryoko-chan. I'll just teleport some up for you guys. Thanks...mom. That was brutal, cruel, and terrifying...(he looks up to the Eva) Can you do it again Asuka? (Some muffled noises come from under the Eva's leg) (yelling through her Eva) NO! YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT UNTIL I FEEL LIKE LETTING YOU OUT! (Some really plush armchairs come up, everyone except Asuka and JS have a seat in their regular order) There's a cooler on the right side, a microwave on your left, plus it has a built in massage and heating/cooling system. (pulling out some sake and sips it) You're the best mom! (already has a microwaveable burrito in his mouth) Mmmhph hmmpr grrph ffmmm. Now don't speak with your mouth full. (The Eva pushes harder into the ground, a muffled scream comes from under the leg) Hey Asuka, you mind letting him out? We have to finish this. NO! (Eva pushes harder) (going SSJ4) Don't make me. All right! Just one more! (The Eva pushes harder yet again, then walks into the back of the theater and Asuka comes from the back of the theater with one hand on her hip and walks to the now twitching/crumbled/mashed/maimed/shredded/basically any other painful word, JS and kicks him in the stomach for good measures, then takes a seat, flips a strand of hair behind her head, and takes a beer from the cooler and sips it, she notices everyone else not dying, staring at her) Yes? (acting like nothing happened) Nothing, nothing. She kisses his cheek, his lips, and moves down to his neck, where she necks him and nibbles his ear lobes. Nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble. (smacks him in the back of the head) Knock it off. Ryoko has removed herself from Tenchi's cock, happy with the mouthful she just received. Wha-what happened? You got a mouthful. A what? A mouthful? Of what? Of what? Tenchi. "Mihoshi," she seductively calls. Mihoshi, unable to speak, reaches down Broka's back to the key, picks it up, and throws it towards Ryoko. She catches it and climbs off the bed to unlock his shackles. Kiyone has finished her kissing frenzy, and sits upright on Tenchi's chest. She slips her wet shirt off, exposing her delicate and sexy wet skin. (dull shock) Wow... Pigs. Tenchi is too lost in his hormones right now, (as Tenchi) Okay, was I supposed to take the left at the adrenal glands...or...perhaps it was pituitary...ARGH! Damn hormone map! so he can't really have a nose bleed. Even if he could, all the blood is at his penis anyway. Kiyone once again bends down and cuddles Tenchi's head, which is conviently right between her breasts. (dully) Conviently. He kisses them and works his way around the nipples, gently sucking at them. (starts making loud, sucking noises) (shiver) VEGETTA! (as Austin Powers) Yes mommy...I WOULD like some more chocolates mommy. He continues to kiss her now...uh...erect tits, moving his tongue to get a good taste of them. Please no more "Tastes like chicken!" jokes. Ryoko has just unlocked the last handuff, and watches unjealously as Tenchi slowly turns to get Kiyone on her back, (notice THIS Ryoko IS jealous) and moving his way down to her pelvis. Ryoko turns around as Mihoshi screams low cries of ecstacy, as Broka continues escavating her oil well. WAH! (do several more circles before falling on their heads) (still on ground) I'd hurt him right now but I think he's in enough pain. "All right Mihoshi, let someone else have a turn now," Ryoko calls to her. Preferably not me. Mihoshi, through all the bouncing and groaning, aggresively shakes her head, before screaming a little more. "Miho-" Kiyone stops as Tenchi flips her on her stomach and gently slides his penis into her ass, (Everyone starts to twitch a little more) (rubs his butt) Easier there, no one's getting you. she flinches a little before continuing, "Don't make me come...(she closes her eyes harder as Tenchi pushes harder) (Everyone squish further into their seats) I don't feel good. ...over there." "Bu-bu-bu-but..." she presses Broka's head further into her, "Kiy-yo-yo-yo-yo- yo- YO-DE-HE-LE-HE-HOOO! (Author's note: They just yodeled, I don't know how you would spell it) neeeee!" she screams out the last part of her name. She slowly opens her eye to see Kiyone and Ryoko glaring at her evily, "All ri-ri-ri-ri-ri-right," (grabs head) ARGH! What is it with repeating syllables?! I'm flinching with each one! she manages to get out as Broka cleans away. She slowly descends to the bed and crawls far enough where her breasts are in his face, and she kisses his forehead before leaping off of him, So, what? That would have to make the area between the chest and lips about...three inches? (JS has once again miraciously recovered and returns to his seat, staring at Asuka nervously the whole way, before sitting down and focusing his attention to the screen) and stumbling over to Tenchi. Broka's face however, is a weird blue color, and he has sweat (or Mihoshi, either way it's a liquid) Ewwww... (to JS) That's...(noticing he's still staring nervously at Asuka) hmmm...(slowly sneaks behind him and...)BOO! WARGH! (leaps high into the air, Ryoko starts laughing) (sarcastically) Great job Asuka, you traumatized the poor guy. (looks at her watch)5...4...3...2... (JS once again is by her side and he gives her a big hug) She scared me! (Asuka looks over to Ranma, he blinks and continues eating his burrito) crawling down his face. He breathes in heavily as he sees Ryoko climb on top of him. "If Mihoshi enjoyed it this much, I'll like it even more," ARGH! Get off of him! Get off of him! Tenchi's on the other side of the room! Ryoko coos out before scootching closer to Broka's face, he rolls his eyes to the back of his head, ready for another go at it. grabs JS's hand and squeezes...HARD) Ready...for...another...go...at it?! (buckles in pain) JESUS WOMAN ARE YOU TRYING TO CRIPPLE MY ARM! AH! UNCLE! UNCLE! FROINLAVIN! FROINLAVIN! JUST LET ME GO! Tenchi continues to work at Kiyone, until he feels another body crawl on top of him. He feels the tickling of her blonde hair as he feels Mihoshi cunt rub up and down against his ass. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I guess they're a little scared of Mihoshi growing a... (get their second wind)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Thirty seconds, not bad. And he feels the gentle kissing of her lips at his neck. He places his hand on her head as she necks him passionently. Kiyone grabs the covers of the bed so as not to scream out in pleasure. She throws her head back, (as Tenchi) *BONK* OW! coming inches from Tenchi's face, as he continues to bang her unmercifully. Me and tenchi are going to have a long talk when I get home. At this time, Ayeka unhinges herself from Broka's dick, and has decided to be with the one she loves the most Please let it be Tenchi. Please let it be Tenchi. Please let it be Tenchi. Please let it be Tenchi. Please let it be Tenchi. (Author's note: If you haven't noticed it by now, you're just dumb. NO LESI'S! So NYAH to you! Oh yeah, well NYAH! back. There's nothing worng with lesi's, nothing at all, especially during a double heated oral...uh...onwiththefic! ~ JS) (Everyone glares at JS, he smiles innocently) I just finished watching a Cinemax movie. ...Tenchi. She climbs over top of Kiyone and sits in a position where her pussy is in his face. Is there something between you and... (holds out his hand and silences Ranma) Hush. The master is at work. Tenchi knew what she wanted, but it was an awkward position for him. He's got Kiyone underneath, Mihoshi kissing his neck, and now Ayeka wanted him to have a taste of her. Talk about your orgy's! SHUT UP! During the entire intercourse, this was the closest he came from breaking through his hormones, but they seized control again, and he rammed his face into Ayeka's pussy (leap back and grab their pelvic regions) Ha. Ha. Now you know how it feels. and began to kiss and lick it. One could say Broka had the easier of it, only having one woman to contend with, but then again... (Ryoko reaches out to grab JS's arm, but he stops her...and grabs his arm and squeezes, he winces in pain) (squeezing harder) Are...you...happpy? (smiles) Very. "Harder!" Broka listen closely, and did as she asked. "Harder!" Ryoko screamed, Broka, through all the moaning and screaming she was doing, couldn't possibly understand how she could want it harder. (dully) Don't ask questions...just do. (satisfied) You got that right. But he went, as hard and fast as he could go. "HARDER!" (as Scotty) She cana take anymore! She'll blow Capn! Did that. I know, I just wanted to do it again. "Dammit woman!" Broka thought to himself, "If I go any harder my head's going to be in your pussy, then we got 'At The Carrot Patch' all over again!" (to JS) Okay, "At The Carrot Patch" was one of the most disgustiong lemons ever made, especially with that ridiculous scene, but if any more then his tounge and mouth goes in there, you'll be meeting my Eva again, and this time, I won't stop until you're dead and buried, got it? (gulps) Uh, yes Asuka-chan. But he pushed his limit, nearly biting the most sensitive spot on her body. (wince again) That's for all those disgusting thought you put into our heads. When she yelled at the top of her lungs in pure pleasure, Broka knew this was all she could handle. "HARDER-ER-ER-ER-ER!" AAAHHH! ENOUGH WITH THE REPEATED SYLLABLES! IT FEELS GOOD, BIG FUCKIN DEAL! (is in Asuka's lap clinging onto her neck) She's scaring me. (notices Asuka not too happy) She isn't the only one who you should be worried about. (finally notices the position he's in) So...we just skip the reception and head straight for the honeymoon? *BONK* (JS returns to his seat with a bump on his head) Once again, the fact that he was pinned to the bed made him unable to face- fault. Mihoshi, just wasn't pleased with kissing Tenchi. Ayeka had his mouth occupied, and Kiyone was too busy moaning to pull Tenchi out of her. (wincing) Don't remind us. She looks over to see Ryoko strangling Broka with her pelvis, forcing him to litteraly eat at her. (as Broka) *CHOMP* (Ryoko leaps out of her seat and JS falls out of his chair laughing) Mihoshi, as much as she wanted Tenchi, (angry) What? Get over it Ryoko, she wants him, he wants her, hell just let them be, I don't care. (Before Ryoko can blast him...) *KKKKKKRRRRRRRRAAAAAAZZZAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK* (rubs her chin) Maybe Ayeka is good for something after all. (going SSJ4) ALL RIGHT! WHERE IS THAT BITCH?! was not satisfied with kissing him. She kissed his cheek once more before climbing off of him and moving towards Broka and Ryoko. She climbs between his bent legs and looks deeply into his penis. (Everyone except JS starts laughing their butts off) (trying to calm down) Ignore the peanut gallery, my therapist says it's just natural for them to be jealous. (Everyone starts laughing harder) Why not? He gave her all that pleasure several minutes ago, why not switch favors? She straightens his legs before administering her mouth over his penis. Ayeka is sitting on Kiyone, too overcome with Tenchi in between her too care for Kiyone, Ewww...what's that thing crawling down Kiyone's face? *BBBBBBLLLLEEEEAAARRRGGGHHHH* VEGET- *HHHHHUUUUUUURRRRRRRLLLLLL* -TA! she grabs his head, making sure Tenchi doesn't miss a spot this time. She wanted him there the entire time, but teased him a little bit first. But now she was questioning why she did tease him, (to JS) I'm questioning why you ever wrote this fic. You'll read about it later. I mean, it felt so good to her. She removes her hands from his head and has to grab the edge of the bed and bites her tongue. Tenchi has removed himself from Kiyone, who squirms around on the bed, nearly begging for more. Tenchi moves closer to Ayeka, continuing to kiss and lick away at her vagina. She can't hold her tongue any longer, she lets out a deafening scream, and squeals as Tenchi never stops. ....................... I've never heard Ayeka squeal. Neither have I, it's kind of weird. Kiyone sits upright at the end of the bed, getting over her little fiasco. She breathes heavily watching Ayeka and Tenchi make out like two dogs in heat. (at JS) You just HAD to put an animals in heat joke, didn't you? (laughing) I thought it was funny. You would. Ayeka moans in ecstacy as Tenchi drives his tongue further into her pelvic orifice. She can't hold her cum in, and in one mighty spray, squirts all over Tenchi's face... Everyone, on three, one...two...three... SSSSSPPPPLLLLUURRRRRRTTTTTT! ...Remember when I said that when Ayeka joined in, that was the closest he got to breaking through...cancel that, he just broke through. I'll just take a raincheck...(thinks about what he says)...better yet, send it UPS. (Everyone else turns green and looks away from him) Tenchi snapped into reality as soon as a nice mouthful of cum reached his tongue, he leaped back and tried to escape but never made it passed the bed. Kiyone grabbed his shoulders and rammed him into the bed. Ayeka jumped on him and kissed his lips. His hormones quickly seized control and he kissed Ayeka back. She silently crawled onto Tenchi's waist and administered his penis into her vagina. Administered? (JS shrugs) She giggles as she does this, and rubs her hand over the part that isn't stuck into her. I find that hard to believe, being from what we just saw. (fires another energy ball at him) Broka has been all mouth this whole time. (prop themselves from face-faulting) Eating away at Ryoko, and Mihoshi sucking at him. He was running out of breath, and sperm for that matter. He lifts Ryoko several feet off of him for some oxygen, Now you see, if that was Ryoko there, there wouldn't be a problem. (reaches over and smacks him in the back of his head) before Ryoko grabs his head and places it in her pussy. "EAT!" (looks at his bowl of popcorn)............If you say so. "I'm gonna chew a hole through her if she continues to want this," Broka thinks to himself. He looks into Ryoko's vagina, and curses himself as he he starts to lick her clitoris and labia. She moans in pleasure as Broka continues to lick away. (whispers it in Ryoko's ear) So, uh...when did Washu put a salt lick there? (leaps at Vegetta but is held back by JS) I'LL KILL HIM! I SWEAR I'LL KILL HIM! For the remainder of the afternoon, night, and next morning, all that could be heard from the Masaki house were moans, groans, screams, and several voices yelling harder, or faster. ********************* I-is the scene over? Yes Asuka-chan, it finally is. I'm sorry everyone, but I just don't feel right in my butt. You and me both Vegetta. Five o'clock at the Masaki household, and all's quiet. It's quiet...too quiet. In Tenchi's bedroom, most are completely knocked out, and are in a very awkward position. Tenchi's is on his back, and half of his body is hanging over the bed side, the front half. PHEW! Aw damn! On his chest, a completely asleep Kiyone's hand rests on his chest. Ryoko is...well...still on her job with Tenchi's "Johnson". (Everyone stares nervously at JS, he smiles back at them) On the other side of the room, Broka is in an unconfortable sleep, with Ayeka sprawled out on his waist, and Mihoshi on top of her...all six butt-naked. (sarcastic) Naw...they were all fully clothed with the entire JCPenny's winter sports apparel. Broka wakes up about now, and rolls over to realize... ...he's on a plate of Sashimi? (...he's on a plate of Sashimi...) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (They all leap at JS) (AHH! Don't hurt me, it was just a joke!) (Everyone stops what they were doing, Ryoko has JS in a full nelson, Asuka has her mallet raised high above her head, Vegetta was preparing a ki wave, and Ranma has his hand in JS's stomach, Ryoko drops him) (to JS) You're lucky. ...that Tenchi is wide awake. "Hey. What are you doing awake?" "I'm too tired to fall asleep." "I hear ya. I can't feel my legs at all, I don't know whether it's from yesterday, or these two right now." Woah, woah, woah WOAH! "Yesterday?" What the HELL does that mean? I think we're about to find out "Hey, could you tell me whose hand this is? It's really been itching me, and I can barely lift my hand." What for, to hold her hand? (Everyone looks at each other and smiles) (singing) Me and you...and you and me...no matter how they toss the dice...it's meant to be.... Broka painfully turns his head towards the other side of the room, "It's Kiyone," he starts to sweat as he notices Ryoko, "Is Ryoko still..." Siphoning Tenchi's gas? Escavating oil the hard way? Trying out for a job interview? (Asuka hits him over the head with the mallet) Listen, we're already going to get in trouble with Poet and Peter Suzuki, DON'T MAKE IT WORSE! .................. "Yep. She's out all right, but still going." "Well, I've heard that wild animals have an instinct to react to their surroundings, even in an unconscious state." (Ryoko stares daggers at JS while Vegetta falls out of his chair laughing) (nervously) Ho..h...how ya' doing Ryoko? (making an energy sword in her hand) Just fine,thank you. "Ha-ha," Tenchi says sarcastically. Beep-beep. Snort-snort. Giggle-giggle. Grunt-grunt. Cough-cough. (take a wild guess what he does to Asuka) Honk-honk. ^_^ (the mallet has suddenly become a big-ass saber) WHY YOU LITTLE PERVERT! (JS scrambles out of his seat as Asuka runs after him swinging the sword wildly) YOU LITTLE HENTAI! (The other crew members shake their heads ruefully and continue MST'ing the fic) "Hey Tenchi, do you have a weird taste in your mouth?" Ewww... MOST WOMEN WOULD TAKE IT AS A COMPLEMENT! CAV AND "009" DOSCHER, "TWO GUYS, TWO GIRLS, AND A JURAIEN PRINCESS"! AAAAHHHHH! "I did, but it left about an hour ago." Broka smacks his lips together, "Yea, well you didn't have nearly as much to eat as I did for the first...uh...I think three hours." Three hours?! Seems he got a taste of everybody. ASUKA PLEASE! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! OH YES I DO! (The sound of a sword striking metal echoes throughout the theater) "How long have we been going at this?" Broka lays his head back and closes his eyes, "We started at around twelve o'clock, and when we finished it ...was...around...I think eleven." What the hell?! This fic is screwed up. WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! AH! (More metal on metal sounds) "A whole day?! Is that even possible?!" "According to this author it is." O_o? Did he just... ASUKA, I LOVE YOU! NOT A GOOD REASON! "You know we just broke down the fourth wall?" "Should we use it to our advantage?" Yes, please do. HOLD STILL, I WANT TO SEE HOW SHARP THIS THING IS! IT CUT TWO ADAMANTIUM PIPES IN HALF, I'D SAY IT'S PRETTY SHARP! "Why not?" Broka lifts his hand into the air and...hey...what's he doing... [KA-BOOM!] ...ow... O_o??????? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT HURT LIKE HELL! NOT AS MUCH AS I'M GOING TO HURT YOU! "Is he dead?" (look back to JS running like a madman) No... I SAID HOLD STILL! "Let me check...nope, the fic's still going on." (sigh) (Asuka finally returns to her seat) So, did you get him? (sulks) No, the stupid sword got stuck into the wall and I can't get it out. (JS returns to his seat, wary of Asuka) "Damn, we're in trouble." I was going to end the fic but instead we're going on. Aww... Don't worry, the rest isn't bad. "Anyway, you do know we're going to be in a lot of trouble as soon as these four wake up?" "You mean the drug wore off?" Broka turns to Tenchi, "After what we gave them I'm surprised it didn't wear off sooner." So semen reduces the longitivity of the drug? Apparently. Tenchi finally reaches Kiyone's hand and moves it aside, "You said they had enough of this stuff to last three days." "My calculations could have been a little off. Do you really care?" No. "No, I'm glad your calculations were off, not as off as I would have liked it to be, but still off." "Oh God if I had any strengh these two would be off me and I'd be out the door. Mihoshi weighs a ton for a slender girl." Slender?! "And my penis has reached its limits, it's too weak to get erected anymore, even with Ryoko on it." "Hey, whatever happened to Teka?" "Well, after about an hour of it, he realized that he wasn't feeling anything. Don't know why. But I think he's in the depths of my unconsciousness, pouting. (Everyone looks at JS, he shrugs) Good ridance." Kiyone stirs a little bit, but doesn't wake up. "Did you notice something weird in the room about ten minutes after we started," Tenchi asked. "Couldn't tell, I had Mihoshi's pussy in my face for about half-an-hour. She was easy to please though. (arching an eyebrow) What does that mean? (scoots away from Ryoko) Ryoko wanted me to keep going harder and harder. After the third 'HARDER!' it felt like a brick wall, (too angry to speak) A...brick...wall...? (hugs Asuka) Asuka-chan, protect me. I should help Ryoko for all that you've done to me. and if I even tried to bite her my dick would have been across the room with me still here." (Guys shudder at this thought) (lightening up) Much better. Tenchi shudders at this image, You and us both Tenchi. then sees Kiyone's head droop over his face, her eyes closed, sweating, and smacking her lips...then she opens her eyes. PEEK-A-BOO! "Wha...what the?" Uh...morning Kiyone," (sarcastic) Sure. Was he hoping that Kiyone would get up and leave without noticing the position they're in? Tenchi says, with enough nervousness in his voice to make him shit his pants...or bed for this matter. Ewww... Why not, everything else is on the beds. We'd hurt you but we know that you're right. Kiyone's eyes widen when she realizes that she's naked...and so is Tenchi, and Ryoko, and Ayeka, and Mihoshi, and Broka. So... Deafining scream in 5...4...3...2...1... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (All cover their ears from the sound) THIS SURROUND SOUND IS GREAT ISN'T IT?! WHAT?! I SAID THIS SURROUND SOUND IS GREAT! WHAT ABOUT GRAPES?! She tries to jump on the floor but too quickly realizes that her muscles are cramped beyond belief, in fact, she can barely fell her legs. If we knew what that meant maybe we could riff at it. You just did. (thinks about it for a second, then smiles)........Oh yeah, I did, didn't I? As soon as she puts enough weight on the foot that touches the ground, she falls with a thud and nearly goes unconscious again. Surprisingly, none of the girls awake, until... Ayeka smiles a bit before opening her eye Oh God. (passes down some earplugs) Here, pass those down, they were in the first aid kit. (notices something all too familiar forming around him) Uh...guys... ...and seeing Broka's bare chest right below her and that he's smiling at her evily. "Morning sleepyhead," he says with an perverted accent. I don't like the way he said that. What does a perverted accent sound like? (squishing into the seat as the log number continues to increase) Help...me.... Ayeka is too dazed to know what's going on...until she notices her hand around a hard yet firm snake...uh oh. Uh-oh is right. (You know what happens...) *KKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP* ( is now a piece of burnt charcoal) I can't believe this...I'm getting attacked by people on other MST teams...and this is only my first MST. Next on Ripley's Belive It Or Not! Her scream was a little louder then Kiyone's was as she throws Mihoshi off of her and leaps to the floor. What? No sound effect? From Ayeka? Unfourtuently, the nerves in her legs are shot too, and she falls with a bang right next to Kiyone. Mihoshi falls right above Broka's waist, in a very personel position. Her face is in utter confusion as to what just happened. Her face is always in utter confusion. "What's going on," Mihoshi asks, turning her head from side to side, she notices Tenchi, Broka and everyone else is stock naked, she blushes like crazy, "Oh my." (as announcer) And from here on in, Mihoshi's part will be played by Kasumi Tendo. (as Mihoshi/Kasumi) Oh my. Ryoko is the last to awaken, and being in the position she is now, bolts wide awake. She sticks out her tongue, wondering what the taste is, Take a good look down and you'll get a clue to what it is. You might need a microscope though. (blasts Vegetta) STOP MAKING FUN OF TENCHI! then she sees Tenchi's penis right below her, her eyes widen. "Tenchi...you mean you and I...actually did it," (as Tenchi) Did what? What'd we do? (scans the room with hammer at ready) Anyone mutters "Each other" I'll hurt them. she almosts crys with joy, then notices the others, "Mihoshi...and Broka, and Ayeka...you and Kiyone...I told you you'd find someone else for you," WARGH! (face-fault) (while getting up) The sad thing is, you WOULD say that Ryoko. Oh shut up. the others are too weak to face-fault. "I shall have you know I did nothing of the sort! I wake up to find myself on that hooligan over there, (writing in notebook) Ooh, that's a new one. and he looks like we just had sex with Mihoshi, and I know for certain that I did not have sex with him!" (fake a cough) *coughbullshit* Broka and Tenchi fake a cough, "Yeah right," were the words formed from the cough. (waving fist at the two) Hey! We'll do the fake coughing around here! (to JS) You take all the fun out of MST'ing. (drops head) I'm sorry, I just wanted it to be funny. "And what are you doing to Lord Tenchi?! You'd better not have hurt him!" Trust me princess, he is FAR from hurt. I don't know, it is Ryoko. (Ryoko blasts him again) (charred) One of these days I'm going to get you back. "Actually Ayeka...I have no idea what I'm doing." (pissed beyond belief) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?! (writing will) And I'm leaving all my anime tapes to Vegetta. Screw you. I don't want your hetai videos. Tenchi looks at her with confusion, "You mean you don't remember?" Broka does the same, "We only did it for nearly a day." Which, since I AM the greatest scientific genius in the universe, is near impossible to commit. Well, Drew and Kate did it for two days on the Drew Carry Show! (sarcastic) Yeah, like that's real. (muttering) Like any of us are. "What are you talking about," Ryoko asks. Broka snaps back into it, "Of course, the drug is sort of like a mind control. When too much is used, the mind switches from normal (as far as normal goes for us) Which is FAR from it. (Ryoko leaps for him but...) FINAL FLASH! (A large ki wave incinerates Vegetta and Ryoko) (breathes out a puff of smoke) That hurt. Let's keep it easy on the ki blasting. Do you know how much it costs to put up new wall and siding? (grab JS by his collar) We're going to take this outside after this is over. (They throw him back down in his seat, he looks over to Asuka) They sure are persistant. (glares at him) Yes, I know. Makes you wonder why they keep doing it. (Asuka gives him one more glance before they return to the fic. Silence for several seconds) (to Asuka) Do you want to kiss me? ARGH! I KNEW YOU COULDN'T HOLD OUT FOR VERY LONG! to...well..you know." "So...you mean...that we all...just had an orgy," Kiyone says, frightened. Tenchi and Broka nod their heads, before Broka speaks up, "Kind of, I mean, you barely touched the other girls at all, from what I could see, but there was usually two girls on either me or Tenchi, sometimes three, but never four on one person." I mean, that's just not fair. Listen, just because YOU have to practice in ninety-five degree weather with full pads on. But those shoulder pads get so hot...(looks to Asuka, leans over and rubs her cheek)...but not as much as you get me. (Asuka doesn't do anything except twitch her left eye) Kiyone is in too much shocked, she just had sex with a couple of guys who she had no interest in whatsoever. (from speakers) THANK GOD! SOMEONE WHO KNOWS MY TRUE FEELING! (Everyone sweats but do nothing) She nearly passes out, falling closer to the ground, using her arms to hold her up...and the sad thing is, she knew they were right, she could feel her pelvis twitching with excitement just thinking about it. (singing) Oh oh oh, I don't want...anybody else...when I think about you, I touch myself! (He ducks a sword swing from Ryoko and sticks his tongue at her...and is then promptly malleted by Asuka) You're really getting on my nerves. Ayeka is also in shock, she had always had interest in Tenchi A LITTLE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooh look, we actually had more then one question mark and exclamation point! (Author's note: DUH!~ JS), (turns around to camera) Ayeka, before you shock me, please listen, I exaggeterated a little bit. I'm sure you want to do it to him as much as Ryoko does. *KKKRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP* *BLAM BLAM BLAM* (is on the ground charred and his leg twitches) Why'd you blast me Ryoko? For good measures. and Broka was a LITTLE cute but was an asshole. But what really got her...was she couldn't remember anything after Mihoshi tripped. Mihoshi is...well...completely confused. (sarcastic) Big surprise. Why couldn't she remember any of this? She heard so much about it from her colleuges at school, but was, surprisingly, never in an orgy. (sarcastic) Pfft! Yeah right! Oh come on. Mihoshi is too sweet and innocent to do something like that. She felt like pouting...she missed all the fun! (face-fault) What worries me is that Mihoshi WOULD say something like that. (crosses arms and smiles) And I don't have to worry about getting blasted because as much as Mihoshi is...Mihoshi, she would never resort to intended violence. (As he says that a small missle hits him in his back and everyone else leaps away from the explosion, the smoke clears after several minutes) (frowning, breathes a puff of smoke out)...........Then again.... Ryoko is disgusted. "I just had a whole days worth of sex with Tenchi and I can't remember a damn thing. AND I WAITED FOR A WHOLE YEAR FOR IT!" was what she screamed in her head. Sorry, but if I was REALLY in character, I would be saying a HELL of a lot more then that, and especially not in my head. I don't think your brain could hold enough room to say that. (stands on what's left of his seat and points his palm at them) Do I have to settle you two down again? But she formed an awkward smile, and looked at Tenchi, "Was I any good?" (face-fault) Now THAT'S...in character! You guys are cruel, you know that? Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Ayeka were the only ones to face-fault, despite the soreness of their legs and whole body for that matter. The six layed there for another hour or so, barely saying a word to each other And yet ANOTHER pun I failed to notice. until they gained enough strength to walk to their bedrooms, and sleep for the rest of the night. ***************** The next day, all are as sore as hell. They're sitting at the table eating some leftover noodles, being that the teriyaki sauce got spoiled. Wow, you actually managed to get rid of a horrible plot device. It ain't over till the fat lady sings. (bury head in hands) Oh no. All can barely keep their eyes open, but Mihoshi keeps rubbing her legs and around her waist. "Why am I so sore around here? And every time I think of a buffet it starts to tingle even more." You went to Ponderosa'a last night, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAPPENED?! (pats her on the back) Long, deep breaths. Remember, long, deep breaths. (takes a deep breath) I'm going to kill the author...(takes another brerath)...I'm going to kill the author....oh waitaminute. (smiles evily at JS) (does that corny wave with his fingers) Hi Ryoko. Tenchi eyes doesn't leave his noodles, "Ask Broka, he could tell you." "Uh-uh. Don't look at me. I'm getting excited thinking about cheese, Cheese?! Old joke at my school, I thought everyone thought that. Fish would have been more appropiate. (turns to Ranma) I expect that from HIM (points to JS) not you. Sorry. and I don't need a reminder of what happened, all right." She starts to pout, "Sorry I asked." Washu comes out of her lab now, with a big smile on her face, "What's for dinner?" Fish and cheese. (All once again beat him up) "Leftovers," was the reply from everyone. I don't see how there could be anything LEFTOVER after last night. "Boy! Was it noisy last night. With all the noise, I could barely tape you guys without muting the sound, and that would've blew the whole purpose of it." O_o? The six don't notice what she said, and continue to eat. How could you NOT have noticed that? I think their minds are a little more preoccupied at the moment. "I'm not hungry. Do you mind if I can slip a tape into the VCR?" Never heard it called THAT before. (Washu presses a button on her computer and quick drying cement is poured over him) "Go right ahead," Tenchi said. Washu walks over to the TV and puts a tape into the VCR. Several seconds go by before the screen blares, and the constant noise of moans and groans erupt from the speakers. Washu is sitting cross-legged in front of the screen. If she starts moaning I'm going to scream. The noise of six certain moans finally catches the attention of the people at the table. They run next to Washu...to get a nice view of the double orgy of them playing in a surprisingly bright color. (The cement breaks and JS takes a picture) A Kodak moment. "Wow Washu! How'd you get such a bright color with a camcorder," Mihoshi asks. (face-fault) Out of all the characters, SHE is the one who is most IC. The others face-fault. They get up again, and Ayeka puts her hand to her mouth, "I...did...THAT?!" All that and a bag of chips...(think about that for a mintue)...Ewwww.... (to JS) We've been hanging around you too long. But this is only our first MST! We know. Washu grins, "You all did that," she turns her head for a better view, "Ooooh...nice position." Yes, the double twisted axle can get you many points in the first round. (Everyone holds up signs with 1.0 on it) Then again, the judges can be picky. Ryoko grabs her by the collar, "You taped us?" (to Ryoko) Now Ryoko-chan, you wouldn't hit your own mother, would you? Let me think about that one. "Yep...most of it at least. I missed the first ten minutes because I had to find my spy bot." (to Wahsu) You have a spy bot? (shrinks into his seat) Just another continuity mix, (gulp) Shin. Ryoko trembles a little...before hugging Washu tightly, "Thank you!" (face-fault) I think we just broke the record for most face-faults in a single MST. (to JS) And how come you aren't face-faulting with us? I wrote the story, I know what's coming up. Besides for Ryoko and Washu, everyone face-faults. "Ryoko! How could you say that?!" Ayeka screams at her, "This piece of garbage wouldn't be...oh my," (face-fault) (helping Asuka up) Okay, enough with the face-faults, I think the readers get the point. she stops as she watches herself on the screen. All the girls except for Kiyone gather around to watch the "amateur" video. Kiyone is standing next to Broka and Tenchi, backs to the TV, and all stone gray. (as Golem from "Monster Rancher") GGGOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEEMMMMM! Impersonating the characters isn't going to bring it back to TV. (sulks) And I never got to see what happened at the end. "It wouldn't take long. One blast, and they'd be gone," Broka says. "No, too many people know Ayeka, they'd get suspicious," Kiyone answers. She's a popular princess living on a remote planet with two galaxy police officers, me, a space pirate, her sister, a pervert, the man she loves, her sister, her half-brother, a mad scientist... (as the Angry scientist from "Sheep in the Big City") Angery! I am an angery scientist! You watch that show?! Hell no. That is one of the most retarded shows on Cartoon Network, right next to Mike, Lu, and Og. At least you got good taste in TV shows. (tickling her chin) Why do you think I never leave my eyes off you? (shoves his hand away) Because you're a pervert. .................That too. Tenchi regains his colors, and turns to Washu, "Washu! I wish for you to destroy that tape, and mention this to no one." Hey Ryoko, you live with Ayeka a lot. Did I make Tenchi sound too much like her? (already has a sword in her hands) No, what makes you think that? She shrugs, "All right," and takes the tape from the VCR, and breaks it in half... Knowing Washu... and pulls another tape from her pocket and slides it back in... (face-fault) And they say _I_overuse jokes. Tenchi turns gray again. "Oh Tenchi. If I were you, or Broka or Kiyone, I wouldn't do anything to me or my lab, or I'll send each copy I own to every major porn company there is." Washu? Stick to blackmail? (sarcastically) No. (her eyes start shimmering again) A genius has to find something to pass the time. Broka, Kiyone, and Tenchi go pale, "Got it." First gray. Then pale. What's next? Red? Black and blue? Actually I prefer a slight aqua marine color, mixed in with a light turquoise, and a pinch of orange. (everyone stares at him nervously) Washu smiles and giggles, "Now be good children and watch the home movies with us." And WHAT a home movie! Hey Ranma, you ever seen home movies? (sticks his tongue out in disgust) Only of Akane's dinner parties. (looks at him) Akane has dinner parties?! And since Akane is Akane, EVERYBODY comes. Remind me never to drop by for a visit. "Forget it." Washu waves a sealed envelope in front of her face, "I bet Hentai-Weekly would LOVE to see this." Hentai-Weekly? (shrugs) "Sitting down," and with that Tenchi, Broka, and Kiyone sit down, unwillingly though. "Hey Washu! Turn up the volume. I can barely hear a thing," Ryoko yells. You know, after all the lemon scenes are over, he really does keep everybody IC. (bows to him) Thank you Vegetta. I got more respect then this over at Weber-san's. Broka buries his face in his hands, "Hell must be a better place then this." ********* Several days have passed, the incident has been almost completely forgotten. Washu is doing the cooking, making sure Mihoshi doesn't screw up anything. Ayeka walks out from the hallway. "That was Sasami on the phone. Her and Nobiyouki will be home tomorrow." (Ayeka) And they're bringing home a bundle of joy! (Before any one starts to thrash him...) *KKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!* (through unknown speakers) I shall have you know that a Juraian's gestation period is almost exactly the same as an Earthling's! (face-fault) Broka grabs his chopsticks and bangs them against the table, "Well that's great, now where's dinner?" (crosses arms) I am still amazed at how incredibly IC you made everyone, even for a lemon fic. Vegetta...there is proof that with all three gems I can summon the Light Hawk Wings...do you want to see? (snorts) Like they would make any difference. Washu replies with a little song in her voice, "It'll be done in just a minute." "I'm starving! Hurry up!" Tenchi looks coldly at Broka, "How could you be hungry after..." he's silenced when Broka holds out his palm. You hurt my tenchi and you'll be dealing with ME! Easy Ryoko, he's not threatening him with a ki blast, he just silencing him. "Not another word...got it?" Tenchi nods his head. In the kitchen, Washu turns to Mihoshi, "Mihoshi, would be so kind as to hand me that box of spices?" OH NO! Oh yes! "Oh sure ," Mihoshi says, as she picks up the box. Before she hands it to Washu, she pulls it back, "Let me try it first." O_O' She picks up a pinch of the stuff and tastes it, "It tastes different, but not that sweet taste of that aphrodisiatic stuff." O_O;;;!!!!!!! Did...Mihoshi...just make an...observation?! (to JS) I take back everything I said about you. (defending) So I made ONE person OOC! Washu smiles as she takes the box away from her, "Well Mihoshi, your first experiment. You are well on the way to becoming a scientist." (look at JS) One person OOC?! Easy. Easy. Just keep reading. "You really think so?" "Let's not ask for miracles, I was just praising you." Oh... You're lucky. (wipes some sweat from his forehead) Phew! She pick up the pot and carries it out to table and sets it down, everyone not sitting does sit. Ryoko and Broka are the first ones to dive in with their chopsticks, pulling out tiny pieces of fried-chicken and fish. Mihoshi, Ayeka, Kiyone, and Tenchi soon follow. "Oh dear," Washu says, "I left an experiment running in the lab, I'll be right back," and runs through the door. The six don't notice the sound of a lock clicking. O_o? Lock...clicking...? All the girls eating pull the food away from their mouths. "Uh, Mihoshi? What kind of spice did Washu use? It tastes strange," Ayeka says. Broka laughs, rice spewing from his mouth, "What are you talking about?! This is one of the best meals I've had (except for Sasami's of course)!" (returning sword) You're lucky. (worried) Oh no he's not. Tenchi nods, "It must be your taste. It's a real sweet taste to me. Not too sweet, but just right." "Sorry, I don't taste it," Kiyone says. "Me either. Mihoshi, check to see what that stuff was." Ryoko demands. Mihoshi runs into the kitchen. Tenchi and Broka are the only ones still eating when Mihoshi emerges and reads the box, "All it says is Xesosterone9. Oh...Lord...no... (to JS) You wouldn't? No ingredients or anything." Ryoko breathes in disgust, "It figures Washu would do something like that," she then notices a pale Broka, "What's the matter with you?" You and everyone else in a few minutes. Broka picks up a napkin, wipes his mouth off, and stands upright, the girls gasp in shock and fear, What for? He just stood up? Look around his waistline. ..............ewwww..... "You four have about thirty seconds before me and Tenchi are lost in a wave of hormones and we have another happening." (a dark glow shadows his forehead) Or perhaps...(stands up in his seat, and lightning bolts shoot from the sky) MAGIC: THE GATHERING! (the lightning stops, he leaps into the air with joy) WHOO HOO! This is my first time trying using my red mana powers! Yes! (notices everyone else is burnt).....oopsie. (rolling their sleeves up) I'll give you an oopsie. The girls waste no time running out the door. Tenchi's shoulders start to twitch as does Broka's left eye, he's quietly whispering to himself "Twenty-eight...twenty-nine...thirty," he looks up at the sprinters, Tenchi stands behind him, Broka goes SSJ3, "Ready or not, here we come," (as Mihoshi) Whee! We're playing hide and seek! Unfortunately, she would say that. (Muffled noises come from underneath Asuka's Eva's leg) (looks down and smiles) No. I won't play hide and seek with you. (More muffled nosies come from underneath the leg, then the Eva pushes harder) (angry) AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEEK ME EITHER! What's the matter Asuka, don't like being frisked? (Eva's other leg smashes down on him) and both of them run out the door after the girls. In Washu's lab, she's smiling wickedly to herself as she marks off notes on a notepad and watches the guys chase the women around the yard. (singing) Round and round the mulberry bush! Tenchi chased the gir- irls! "Fool Ryoko...check....Get girls to swallow Xtrogen...check....Get greatly needed samples..." she chews on the eraser for a little bit, "...postponed (face-fault) ....Create male aphrodisiac...check....Get Tenchi and Broka to eat aphrodisiac...double check....Amscray before the two saw me...triple check....Watch another great classic brought to me by me..." she smiles even more wickedly, "...getting there." (glares at Washu) And you're getting somewhere else as well. (looks at her wrist) Oh! Look at the time! I gotta go! Thanks for the entertainment! (She teleports out of the room, then they hear loud stomping noises, everyone looks back to see the Eva doing "The Twist," to Vegetta and JS) Wow. I never knew your Eva was that agile. (still stomping and grinding) There are a lot of things you don't know about it. Washu bursts out into maniacal laughter...then coughs..."*cough* *cough* I'm going to have to get Jinnai to teach me to laugh right. *cough* *cough*" And a reference to another show. Good one. (The Eva finally finishes it's song and Asuka returns to her seat) ********** Sorry if that brought on any confusion there, Apology not taken. (JS has miraciously healed and takes his seat. Vegetta is a little banged up and returns to his seat) this is not part of my original stories, just a branch-off like (as stated) Daughter of Darkness. But that wasn't so bad Like sleeping on a bed of nails in the nude. Like that would bother you. (thinks about it)........I guess you're right. ...was...it...aw who am I kidding?! No one! That was one of the worst pieces of trash ever created (well, maybe not the worst) but still bad nonetheless! But it was close to it. Oh I feel so ashamed! You should! Please, if you have it in your hearts, please, MST THIS GOD FORSAKEN PIECE OF CRAP! Already did! I hope I'm not the only one MST'ing this thing. I would like for Peter Suzuki or Ksawarrior to MST this thing as well. As long as you admit your mistakes. You need permission...HERE IT IS! You sound a lot like Jeff Foxworthy on that last line. Him and Bill Engval are my heroes. Bill Engval? "Here's your sign." Oh... "I, Joe "JS Smitty" Smith, hereby permit anyone with a good...no, decent sense of humor to forwardly burn, trash, and kill this fic so that none of it remains and will never be remembered in history." THERE! Can't get much clearer than that! I expect...no, I DEMAND that someone out there tears this thing apart! I will soon follow with my own MST of it. I don't know where I got the idea. I think I was sifting through a Mihoshi/Tenchi lemon when it popped in my mind. There are Mihoshi/Tenchi lemons?! No Need For A Long Patrol 2, All right. I get your point. I don't know why I wrote it, was it to punish myself for something I did, who knows? Oh, I'm so ashamed! And I've been harping the 10 O'clock Assassin for his works! Don't look at my face, DON'T LOOK AT MY FACE! We try not to. (sulks) That's mean. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH! (Author note: I didn't really cry. ~JS) Sure you didn't...WUSS! Okay guys, fic's over. Great! I don't have to have you hanging...AAAHHHH! (glomped on Asuka) Spoke too soon. ^_^ Thank God you didn't try to make a second scene. (has let go, has a bump on his head) I was planning to, but I realized that this was bad enough and I didn't need to take it any further. Well, I gotta go. Bulma's waiting for me. I want you back here in two days, we got a handful of fics to do. I thought you said you wern't going to MST other people fics. So I lied a bit. Besides, you don't just MST bad fics. I've seen a couple El Hazard lemons that I have great jokes for, and they really aren't that bad. Who wrote them? The 10 O'clock Assasin. (shudder) (turns to camera) So remember kiddies, MST's aren't just made for bad fics, you can use them on good ones too! So, until we MST ag... ANOTHER MST'R ALREADY USES THAT! (dizzy) Someone answer the door. ________________________________________ GROUP'S EVALUATION AH-HEM! Sorry, no evaluations, they're overused...BUT THAT ISN'T GOING TO STOP MY MOMENT OF ZEN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Sounds of pain and hurt come from inside the theater) ZEN: >> grabs JS's hand and squeezes...HARD) Ready...for...another...go...at it?! >> (buckles in pain) JESUS WOMAN ARE YOU TRYING TO CRIPPLE MY ARM! >> AH! UNCLE! UNCLE! FROINLAVIN! FROINLAVIN! JUST LET ME GO! ************************* MST'rs note: There! My first MST! Please review, or send me e-mails on how you liked it (or didn't like it). Kind of weird huh? My first MST and it's of my first lemon, what a coincidence. Anyway, I felt like MST'ing this fic BEFORE I wrote it, because I thought it was bad. I had a hard time choosing my characters, so I picked a few that were used in other MST's (sorry Weber-san, Peter Suzuki, and Psychomatic Poet), Washu, however, was unintentional. And now, I leave you devoted readers to explore the mysteries of the universe (like why Mink has a belly button). But before I go, I...ABSOLUTELY MUST...apologoze to any other writers of MST's that I "borrowed" (coff coff) their jokes off of...especially to Peter Suzuki and Psychomatic Poet...ESPECIALLY! My next MST is going to be a four parter, so as long as I keep coming up with jokes, you'll keep getting more JS bashing, JS flirting, and JS hentai. P.S.~I swear to GOD, if I try, I sound almost exactly like Jinnai when he laughs. P.S.S.~I didn't cry, I SWEAR!