Norad III MST number eight Hello again, and welcome to Norad III, the MSTing Battlecruiser. As always, I do not own these characters, except for myself, and of course I don't own any characters in the MSTed fic. Megaman X belongs to Capcom, Washu Hibiki belongs to Pioneer, Meis Triumph belongs to Atlus and Red Company, Samus Aran belongs to Nintendo, and Captain Invictus of the Ultramarines First Company and Warhammer 40K belongs to Games Workshop. With that said, on to the descriptions of our heros, and then to the MST. Also, my spellcheck is broken, so there may be a few mistakes. You will also have to read my last MSTs to get some of the jokes in this one. NEVER FORGET 9-11-01 These are the tales of the crew of the Terran Battlecruiser Norad III. They were trapped there by Dr. Wily, who forces them to read bad fanfiction. And, just to give you an idea of what we look like, here are some descriptions. JS: Formerly a bald human seventeen-year-old, but was recently changed by Washu to have one attribute from each MST crew member. He now has an arm cannon called the J-Buster, a blue sword called the J-Saber, a helmet with ocular sensors in it, acid spit, and he didn't want anything from Meis. Megaman X: Last robot created by Dr. Light before his death. Now leads the Maverick Hunters thirteenth unit, as Captain. Can interchange armor parts, and use a variety of weapons. Wearing the Ultimate Armor; a black and cool-looking armor that allows him to hover in midair, take lots of damage, and use a special Giga Attack. For this time around, armed with the weapons from Megaman X4. Samus Aran: A bounty hunter from deep into the galaxy, her family was killed in a space pirate attack. Wears a special suit of Power Armor that was built by the Chozo, or Bird-People. This version of the armor is the Varia suit. Armed with an array of different energy beams, that can charge up to become more powerful. Has optical sensors built into helmet for better sight in the dark. Hates all perverts, especially Meis. Washu Habuki: One of three Goddesses: Herself, Tokimi, and Tsunami. Self-proclaimed "Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe", and nobody except maybe Yume has the brains to contest that title. Wears her old Science Acadamy clothes, and is armed with her Holoputer. She is 20,000+ years old. Also has a small forcefield generator, because of a certain pervert's continued insults toward a certain purple-haired princess. Has her hair inside a hat, so that it doesn't catch on fire in case anyone decides to use fire weapons. Meis Triumph: Possibly the luckiest guy in the world. He has twelve beautiful women all falling for him, and he isn't afraid to date them all! Wears a cloak, goggles, white pants, and a brown shirt. Has his trusty W-Blade at his side, and also can call upon many powerful beasts of magic to aid him. (For example, if Samus was trying to kill him again, he would summon Aquoon, the water dragon.) Probably the biggest pervert in the world, and proud of it. Has a high threshold for pain, possibly because of the constant beatings he gets from the other MSTers. Captain Invictus of the Ultramarines First Company: From the year 40,000. Is second-in-command of one of the most powerful Space Marine Chapters in the galaxy, the Ultramarines. They are one of humanity's greatest achievements. He is eight feet tall, wears a suit of Terminator Armor.(Very large, bulky suit of all-enclosing mechanical armor, increases senses and reaction time one-hundred-fold.) Armed with a Storm Bolter(Huge double-barreled gun with detonate-on-contact ammunition) and a glowing blue Power Sword.(four foot long blade, with a matter-disrupting field around it. Basically allows him to cleave through anything) Has three hearts, four lungs, can spit acid, see in the dark, hear a pin drop from a thousand paces, run at speeds of up to thirty miles per hour, and can do just about anything else yo can think of, except fly.(Well, besides when Samus boots him up to the rafters, but that's not really flying) Also wearing an Iron Halo, which gives him a powerful forcefield. --------Inside Norad III's rec. room-------- *sigh* I wonder if we'll ever get out of here. Knowing the author, probably not. DAMN RIGHT! I WANT YOU TO MST EACH AND EVERY BAD FANFIC OUT THERE! *sigh* AND STOP SIGHING! Well, might as well make the most of it. (Starts playing Ping- pong with Meis) I'm tired. I think I'll go take a nap. I'm with Samus on this one. I haven't slept in ten days. (Both head off to their respective rooms) --------Incoming transmission-------- Well, well, well. What do we have here? Two tired torturees? PLEASE let us get some sleep. Fine, but only if JS can come up with two more MSTers. But before he does that, I'll summarize what today's MST is. (Sarcastically) Do tell. You watch yourself mister! Anyway, today's fic is called, "Lessons in Death". It is a VERY dark fic, where all the girls commit suicide, in their own individual ways. Even me?! Yes, even you. I think I'm gonna be sick. Do we have to? I mean, I'm still going through therapy from reading Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi. Yes you do. This fic is wrong on so many levels, that I'm not going to tell you about it, you'll have to find out for yourself. You know, you just made a run-on sentence. I did? Oops. Now get your two new MSTers, and get in there! Fine, fine. For the first replacement MSTer, I choose......Ryoko Habuki! (Ryoko appears) Hey, where'd Joe go? And who are you? I'm JS, captain of the MSTing Battlecruiser Norad III. Great, out of the frying pan and into the fire. Oh, hi mom. ^__^ Hi sweetie! Grrr......don't call me sweetie! ^__^ Okay, honey! (Ryoko glares at her) And for the second replacement, I choose.............hmmm...............ummmm........... JUST PICK SOMEONE ALREADY! Okay, okay. I think I'll pick my best freind, Chuck. (Chuck, obviously, appears) HEY! Where am I? One minute, I'm behind the cash register at Electronics boutique, then I'm in some big room with.......(Looks around at everyone) GAH! Who are you people? Don't you recognize me, Chuck? Oh wait, you probably can't see my face with this helmet on. (Takes helmet off) There, that's better. Jamie? What the hell happened to you? Oh, Washu just upgraded me a little bit. A LITTLE?! You don't look a thing like the Jamie I know! Okay, first of all, I like this form a helluva lot better than my old self. Second, everyone calls me JS on this ship. Okay, if the little reminiscing scene is over, shall we? Shall we what? (Smacks forehead) Geez, we're MSTers! And you've been chosen to join us! Great, just great. How am I gonna explain this to my boss?! And what's an MSTer? Don't worry, don't worry. I'll send a formal letter of apology to him. And an MSTer basically riffs bad fanfiction. Are you happy now? Oh goody! I'm really good at making fun of people! (Thinks for a second) Oh god! I hope that old lady I was helping didn't have a heart attack when I disappeared! I'm sure she's fine. Now let's go! --------All enter the theater-------- Wow, pretty nice. Yeah, for a mad scientist, Wily is pretty good with that kinda stuff. This story is ment Great, right off the bat he misspells something. to depress, and that only. I'm depressed enough as it is, thank you very much. I know that there are some things that are wrong with it, but its not improtant I-AM-TYPO-MAN! so please don't tell me about the mistakes I make. Also I write this because I am depressed to an extent because my girlfriend of over a year left me. (Sarcastically) Gee, I wonder why. Enough talk, on with the show!!! Heh ARGH! I hate "heh"ing! Ryoko simply could not take it anymore. (Tweak) GAH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF PRESSURE! She had waited so long and tried so hard to win Tenchi's affection. And in two of the three series, I'm winning it! She had tried everything she could think of, but all of her advances were met with fear and annoyance. That's half-true. She knew in her heart that Tenchi loved the other, Ayeka had won finally, (Pointing finger at the screen) You're WRONG! so what was the use of Ryoko sticking around? Maybe to pester Ayeka some more? Ryoko was sitting on Tenchi's bed, he was at school now, crying and turning a small metal object around in her fingers. Boy, was that ever a run-on. She had decided that she had no use left in life now that Tenchi was Ayeka's, Oh, please don't tell me-- Yup. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS AUTHOR?! Tenchi was her life and now that he was another's she felt no use to go on. He would however find out how much Ryoko loved him, He doesn't know already? she was determined to do that much at least. Even if it had come to this, she was determined to do it and show him how she felt. She had planned it out all this morning while sitting on Tenchi's bed crying, and now it was time to start the show. (Freak show announcer) Come see the One-Eyed Monster! PERVERT!!! *BAMBAMBAMWHAM* ^__^ It's nice to see you guys paying attention to me. Argh! Ryoko stopped turning the small metal object, a razor blade from a box opener on Tenchi's desk, and held it to her wrist. Besides the fact that the blade would dull if it was pressed to my wrist...... She had watched enough TV shows to know that what she was about to do would work, (To Ryoko) Jesus, what kind of TV shows have you been watching? >__<* I don't watch that kind of stuff! It's just a fic! only that it might take a little longer for her. She pressed the razor a little harder into her wrist and then without a second thought, slashed away, laying her left wrist wide open. Ewwwww. Deep red blood poured from the wound and her left hand quickly went cold. "Better make this quick." She thought, her blood was leaving her body quicker than she had expected. Well, that's kinda what happens when you cut an artery open. Ryoko put her slashed wrist to Tenchi's bed sheets and crudely drew what looked like a fishhook, So, my message is that I want to go fishing with him?! she then drew one right next to it facing the other way. (Turning green) Oh, a heart. How.......gross. How ironic, making a heart with blood. I stand by my ewwww. The last thing she did was fill in the space between the two with more blood. Ewwwwww. She looked down at her handiwork with approval, Yes, nothing says "I love you" like slashing your wrists and making a heart with blood! he would get the message, and with that she laid down next to her crude drawing and died. The end. I don't think so. Rats. Blood was everywhere, all over her; all over parts of his bed, on the floor and blood flowed sluggishly out of her wrist even after she was dead. This guy has problems. I mean, SERIOUS problems. Her blood drawing remained intact though, quickly soaking into his bed staining it forever. Of course, Tenchi could just change the sheets, but apparently the author is a raging idiot. About the same time Ryoko was slitting her wrist Ayeka was sitting under her tree, a metal object of her own in her hands. YES! Ayeka's gonna kill herself! (Pondering for a second) You don't have to hide your true emotions under that big bad ego of yours. MOM! (Pointing to readers) And stop thinking like that, you hentais! She had come too much ................ Ewwwwww. I guess she really IS a sex-crazed maniac under that semi-calm exterior. I'm afraid to ask, but what are those things in the air? (Points to logs) OH NO! *KRRZZZAAAAAP* Well, that was painful. the same conclusion as Ryoko had only in her mind and heart; Ryoko had won Tenchi instead of her. Ayeka was crushed, SPLAT! why did Tenchi choose Ryoko? ^__^ It should be obvious! She knew that he had, even though he hadn't said so she saw it in how he looked at her. Ayeka had nothing left to live for, Here we go again. she couldn't go back to Jurai because that wasn't her home anymore, O__o; Huh?! I didn't know she had been dethroned. she felt they wouldn't accept her there. And why not? Because she's an uppity snob! (LOGS) *KRRZZZAAAAAP* I think I might want to lay off the Ayeka jokes for now. GOOD IDEA! She definitely couldn't stay here, she would only get in the way, so she decided that she would go away from everybody. (Sarcastically) Yeah, that's the ticket! Tenchi had been all that she lived for, and now he was gone, stolen by an evil, slutty, ugly, beast of a woman. (Turning red) GRRRR!!!!! Now you're acting like a beast. GACK! (Holding beam sword to Meis's neck) You want to repeat that? N-no! This morning she had thought of a way out, all of the tears she had shed between when she had woken up this morning and right now were now drying up. That leak she had sprung apparently clogged itself. She had also watched enough TV shows to know that what she was about to do would obtain the desired effect, and finding Tenchi's Father's gun was easy enough, just like in those commercials on TV. Good lord, that was the longest sentence I've ever read. And what TV station are they watching? Suicide Central?! Ayeka looked down at the gleaming hunk of metal in her hands and slowly raised it to her forehead, Oh no, it's a gun. This won't be clean. and then she laid down not wanting to hurt the tree behind her. How thoughtful! "Don't blow your brains out on the trees" her mother always said. The gun was a .357 magnum and was more than powerful enough to do the job. Screw this not being clean, it'll be a giant red and pink spot on the ground. (Turning green) STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!!! Ayeka took one last look at the sky before she closed her eyes and pressed the barrel of the gun harder into her forehead. "I'm sorry Sasami, please forgive me." If she was thinking about Sasami AT ALL, she wouldn't do that! was the last thing in Ayeka's mind when she pulled the trigger. And then it was three feet into the ground. (Rushing into the theater) I thought I heard you say something nasty! DIE! (Starts blasting Meis) OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! (Faints) Ah, much better! Now I can get some sleep! What's with them? Oh, they just like each oth--*BLAMBLAMBLAM* OUCH! I thought I made it clear, I HATE PERVERTS!!! ESPECIALLY MEIS!!! Her body jumped a bit at the impact of the bullet as it tore through her head, blowing the back of it off and finally burying itself deep into the ground. (Throw up) +__+ There wasn't a lot of blood, and what little there was got absorbed by the ground. The entire back of Ayeka's head was decimated by the shot, but the ground held it in place so all in all it was a very clean death, for now at least. OH. MY. GOD. This has got to be the sickest, most revolting pile of shit I have ever seen. And I live with Joe. JOE!!! I feel your pain. Sasami heard the gunshot clearly and looked up from where she was playing with Ryo-oh-ki, but she dismissed it for Ryoko and Ayeka fighting again. She would praobably be able to distinguish a gunshot from an explosion. She really did wish those two would quit fighting, the house would be so much more peaceful without them yelling and trying to kill each other. (Dripping with sarcasm) This author is SO clever. Washu was in her laboratory, typing away at her holographic keyboard, but not really paying attention to what she was doing. She had a very bad feeling in the back of her mind that wouldn't go away, and it was when she decided to check Ryoko's thoughts that her suspicions were proved true. GASP! Could it be that there were no thoughts BECAUSE I WAS DEAD?!! There was simply nothing there, no brain activity whatsoever, even if Ryoko was asleep there would have been something going on in her brain, some activity, but there was none. This guy is trying to break the record for the longest run-on sentence. This could only mean one thing; her daughter was dead, gone forever. Washu fell to her knees and began to cry, her hands covering her face. Aw, I would never do that. I'd just take some DNA from Ryoko and clone her! Then I'd do what I did with JS and reinstall her brain waves! And then she made a horrible realization. She realized that you could never escape pain, and the harder you tried, the worse the pain got. Oh you could run from pain, but it would catch up with you eventually, and it would bite into you very, very hard. RUN-ON!!! (Whispering to X) Is he always like this? (Whispering to Chuck) Twenty-four-seven. After her first child had been taken away from her Washu had been depressed for a very long time, not wanting to do anything but curl up and cry. She had been able to move on however and eventually created Ryoko. Washu had loved Ryoko so deeply, loved her like a mother, Gee, could it have been because she IS my mom?! even if she hardly showed it. Now it had happened again, her child had been taken away from her and she was left with nothing. Ryoko had been Washu's one reason to go on with life, science was just a hobby, and now Ryoko was dead. Yes, I think we've beaten the realization that Ryoko is dead to death. Jamie, that almost didn't make sense. I told you, call me JS!! In her vastly scientific mind Washu could only think of one thing to do, Kill myself, so that I can get out of this horrid fic! and even if her decision did seem a little extreme, she was convinced that there was no other way to escape the horrid, gut shredding pain she was feeling now. So now I have a chestburster inside of me?! Washu turned into her adult form WOO YEAH! *KLONGKLONGKLONG* PAIN! (Putting hammer away) I thought I told you not to do that! and stepped out of her lab and made sure no one else was around, seeing no one she fell back against the door and slid down. She ended up sitting Indian-style with her back to the door of her lab, and what had once been the door to a broom closet. She was one of the three goddesses, but she wasn't immortal anymore, she could die and that was exactly what she intended to do. TWO of those three sentences were run-ons. This guy isn't just a run-on guru, he's the run-on MASTER. She let one hand fall limply into her lap and held the other out in front of her. Washu's outstretched hand began to glow with a faint greenish hue Great, so now I'm radioactive. Prepare yourselves! (Hands out barf bags) and the she rammed her hand into her chest. The pain was immediate and intense, cleansing almost, That's a new one. and as her fingers lanced through her chest Washu could hear her flesh tearing and her ribs snapping. Then she found what she was looking for, she could feel it pulsating gently against her fingertips, her heart. Washu has a heart? Ha ha, very funny. Washu wrapped her hand loosely around her heart, the pain was nauseating and was making her light headed, or was that the blood loss? No matter really, Washu was about to end her pain once and for all. Thereby removing me mercifully from this horrid fic. In one quick motion she ripped her heart from her own chest and was actually able to look upon it before she too died. This was a truly messy death, blood everywhere; STAND AND DELIVER! (Obviously, throw up) BAAAAAAAARF!! soaking into the floorboards, into Washu's clothes, staining her pale skin. Thus ended The Great Washu; sitting in a pool of her own blood, hands in her lap, heart in her hands. A messy death indeed. And a pukefest on top of that. Geez, even I'M not this screwed up. Sasami was headed back up towards the house when she saw Ayeka lying on the ground. "That's a funny place to take a nap." OH GOD, DON'T GO NEAR HER!!! Was Sasami's first thought, but as she drew closer her older sister her innocent mind was ripped to shreds. Ayeka was sprawled out next to the forest path with one arm lying halfway on the path clutching a gun in a literal death grip. Sasami knew what Ayeka had done and the floodgates opened, tears pouring down her young face. I can handle him killing me. I can DEFINITELY handle him killing Ayeka. I can pretty much handle him killing Washu. But scarring Sasami-chan's mind like that? THAT I CANNOT handle! I'M GONNA KILL THIS GUY!!! It gets worse. Sasami ran crying and screaming into the house, looking for someone that could help, and was shocked numb by what she saw. And, since she couldn't feel her body, she just kinda slumped onto the floor in a pile. Washu was sitting against the door to her lab, a massive, ragged hole in her chest, blood drenching her adult form, her heart in her hands. Sasami almost lost it then, her entire body went numb as did her mind, and she nearly fainted dead away. Well, soon she won't be just FAINTING dead away. She was no longer crying as she ran upstairs to look for Ryoko, the only other person who would be there. Sasami instinctively went into Tenchi's room and was once again treated to a gruesome sight, Ryoko was lying on Tenchi's bed, her wrist slit, and covered in slightly less blood than Washu. So now I only have one arm? Sasami calmly closed the door and went back downstairs into the kitchen where Ryo-oh-ki was sitting on the counter waiting for her. (Ryo-Ohki) What's wrong, Sammy? Wrong series, you idiot. Sasami didn't notice however, she was deep in thought, she didn't understand any of this. Why had everyone left her? Why did her sister leave her? She couldn't come up with a reasonable answer, but a surprisingly mature thought did form in her young mind. And, yet again, someone kills themself. She was going to go with them, she wouldn't be left alone here, they needed her there to cook at least. That's got to be the stupidest reason for committing suicide I have ever heard of. Sasami didn't, however, want to go like the rest of them had, and slowly an idea came into her shock-numbed mind. There were a few different types of mushrooms that she used to cook with Great, death by mushrooms. and when eaten alone they were fine, but when you mixed the two together they became highly poisonous. Wow, I've never heard of those kinds of mushrooms before. Sasami took one of each mushroom out and chopped them into small pieces, finally noticing Ryo-oh-ki as she jumped on top of her head. Sasami mixed the mushroom pieces together and offered some to Ryo-oh-ki, the cabbit ate them happily. Oh my God, she going to take Ryo-Ohki with her. Wow, considering she's a spaceship, I guess Ryo-Ohki is pretty vulnerable to mushrooms. Sasami grabbed a handful of the pieces and ate them as quickly as possible. She thought her death was going to be painless, (Pointing at screen) She was WRONG! but it was not to be. Her vision was replaced by bright flashing colors (Stoners) Whoa, look at all the colors, man.... and her insides felt like they were on fire. Sasami screamed In the Masaki house, there's nobody left alive to hear you scream! and fell to the floor; arms wrapped around her stomach, tears of pain flowing down her face, and then began to convulse violently before finally lying still. (Tweak, twitching) GAH! GAH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND OF PRESSURE! GAH! Ryo-oh-ki died in much the same way and ended up right next to Sasami, they were truly inseparable. Some might consider it ironic that Sasami be done in by food, Yes, how much more moronic can you get? Mom, he said IRONIC, not MORONIC. Oh. Well, either one makes sense for this author. Ironic, because Tenchi Muyo lovers haven't killed him yet, and moronic, for obvious reasons. (Whispering) How is that ironic? What was that? ^__^; Oh nothing, nothing. but when death comes finally, everything seems to be ironic. Not really, no. Mihoshi was deeply hurt, some of it was on the physical level where Kiyoni (Over loudspeaker) WHY DOES EVERYONE SPELL MY NAME WRONG?! IT'S K-I-Y-O-N-E!!! Grumble grumble I'm gonna find that speaker and blow it up grumble grumble....... What, is everyone watching this fic at the same time we are? I dunno. had smacked her across the face, (Calling out) Whoa, I never knew you were an abusive lover, Kiyone! (A laser blast comes out of nowhere and fries Meis) Ouch. I deserved that. What are you, a masochist? ^__^ Yup! Suuuure. He's not joking. ^__^;; Alrighty then. but most of it was on the emotional level. Mihoshi was in her and Kiyoni's apartment sitting at her small desk reading the note she had just written through tear-clouded eyes. Mihoshi's face throbbed but it didn't hurt near as much as when Kiyoni had first slapped her. I won't say it. I won't I won't I won't. Aw, what the hell. ABUSIVE LOVER! *SHEEN* *FOOM* ^__^ YAY! O__o He's losing it. It had happened earlier this morning when both of them had woken up late for work getting them fired yet again. At least he's keeping ONE person in character. It was Mihoshi's fault that the alarm clock didn't go off, she had tripped over the cord last night which unplugged it, and hadn't bothered to plug it back in, she had been very tired. Good lord, this guy is truly amazing! How so? (Pointing at last sentence) That sentence has thirty-five words in it! (Sarcastic) Ooooooooo. \__/* Stop it! When she told Kiyoni this it seemed to have been the breaking point for the woman and Kiyoni yelled eight words at her, backhanded her hard enough to send her to the floor, and stormed out of their apartment. (Jaws on the floor) O__O! I guess she's been bottling it up for a long time. You're tellin' me! Mihoshi had spent the next half-hour crying, not the child-like wailing that she usually did, but honest-to-God-curled-up-in-the-fetal-position-while-the-tears-slowly- roll-down-your-face-from-severe-emotional-pain That is one LOOOOONG phrase. kind of crying. Mihoshi spent the next half-hour trying to figure out why Kiyoni hated her so much when Mihoshi displayed so blatantly her love for Kiyoni. I guess this guy's a Miho-Kiyo fan like me. *SHEEN* *FOOM* I'M NOT LIKE THAT!!! Sure, sure. ARGH!! But Mihoshi knew that Kiyoni hated her, it became painfully apparent to her when Kiyoni yelled at her this morning. It wasn't so much the fact that Kiyoni yelled at her, but what she said, and the fact that she punctuated the sentence with a hard backhand. (Bart Simpson) Shut up woman, or I'll give ya the taste of the back o' me hand! *BAMBAMBAMBAMWHAMBAMTHUMPTHUMPBLAM* Now that Mihoshi thought about it, it really wasn't a sentence, but a wish. A wish that Mihoshi would try her best to grant. (Thinking) Hmmmm...... What is it, JS? Eight words....eight words..... What about eight words? I think the eight words that Kiyone said were "Why don't you just curl up and die". Hmmm............maybe. The tears had now slowed to a sluggish trickle, allowing her vision to clear enough to reread her letter to Kiyoni. Mihoshi was smiling as she cut her index finger with a letter opener, though why she was smiling she couldn't tell. I'm thankful that Invictus isn't here. Otherwise he probably would have fainted four times by now. She let the blood flow from her finger for a moment before writing her final message at the bottom of the letter in that precious red ink. It's probably "I love you" or something sappy like that. "Precious red ink"? This guy is pardon my language, seriously fucked up. I understand what you're trying to say, but watch your mouth! It's a physical impoQUACKQUACKQUACK. I told you not to say that, so now you're a water sprite. She was still smiling as she fixed herself a glass of water and sat back down at her desk and removed the white bottle from her pocket. That was yet another run-on. Kiyoni sometimes had trouble sleeping (Finger to chin) Gee, I wonder why. and as a result there were always plenty of sleeping pills in their apartment. QUACKQUACK! Fine, fine. I'll change you back. Great, death by pills. How......typical. That was what Mihoshi was taking now and she had already taken half the bottle, feeling as if she were about to vomit she forced herself to take more and more until the entire bottle was empty. (Sarcastically) Yum yum. Mihoshi stood up and walked over to her bed slowly, her stomach already upset from grief and massive amounts of sleeping pills, moving quickly was not going to help matters. Yeah, it would only kill her quicker. Sheesh! She carefully laid down on her back and wrapped her arms around her stomach, trying to calm it. If you try to calm your stomach after taking an entire bottle of sleeping pills, you're an idiot. Well, what do you think Mihoshi is? Good point. Mihoshi's eyes slid halfway shut, the pills already taking effect, and her mind slid into a state of semi- conciseness Oh god, he's spelling like Tank Cop. Who's he? You don't want to know. in were she was talking to Kiyoni. In the half-dream Mihoshi only got to say one thing to Kiyoni so she had to make it important. "Kiyoni I l-lo. --Love lollipops! What the hell was that supposed to mean? (Shrugs) I dunno. That was as far as she got, her mind finally succumbed to the effects of the pills and it shut down permanently. (Computer) WARNING! WARNING! ALL SYSTEMS SHUT DOWN IN FIVE...FOUR...THREE....TW--*KLONGKLONGKLONGKLONGKLONG* (Tossing hammer behind her) You were really starting to get on my nerves. @__@ Look at all the pretty birdies...... ^__^; Soon afterward her heart finally shut down as it beat one last time, sending one last trickle of blood out of the cut on her finger. Yuck, yuck. Words can hurt more than you think, they can be deadlier than guns and knives could ever be. A few well-placed words can bring a person's world crashing down around them, leaving them dead on the inside. I'm guessing his girlfriend said something like "I hate your guts" or "I'm seeing someone else", made him go psycho, resulting in this piece of crap fic. Mihoshi at least got a clean, painless death. A kind death for a kind hearted woman. Albeit a stupid one, but I guess she really was kind hearted. Kiyoni had been out walking for a little over an hour, half looking for a job half crying about what she had done to Mihoshi, on the inside of course. Kiyoni hadn't meant to blow up Mihoshi like she did, she didn't mean to say what she had and she definitely hadn't mean to hit her. It's a Shampooitis epidemic! Hide the children! What's a Shampoo? (Wise man) You have much to learn about anime, my son. (Moves a few seats away from JS) Its just that Mihoshi had broken through Kiyoni's last mental barrier with her latest goof up and Kiyoni had lashed out in pure anger and left Mihoshi crying on the floor. And the run-ons just keep on coming. Kiyoni had finally reached their apartment and was planning on going to Tenchi's and taking a bath, via the subspace corridor that Washu had made that connected their apartment with Tenchi's house, Hmmm....I don't remember ever doing that. Well, you have to remember, the author is a broken-hearted idiot. right after she apologized to Mihoshi of course. When Kiyoni stepped into their apartment, noticing that Mihoshi had left the door unlocked again, she was greeted by silence. "Well at least Mihoshi had stopped crying, and knowing her she is probably asleep right now." You don't know how right......or wrong you are. Kiyoni thought, a slight smile crossing her lips. When Kiyoni stepped into Mihoshi's room she found her sleeping on her bed, Yeah, a final sleep. And they don't have beds, they have futons. lying flat on her back with her arms wrapped around her stomach. Kiyoni felt a brief bout of anger at Mihoshi and was about to yell at her again, But then she noticed that Mihoshi was dead, and committed hari- kari. but she stopped in mid-breath. Mihoshi received more than her fair share than of verbal abuse, and mostly from Kiyoni herself. Kiyoni felt the beginnings of tears form in her eyes realizing for the first time how Mihoshi must feel, being yelled at constantly. Well, she's such an airhead, she probably didn't even care. That was really mean, Washu. (Makes Mihoshi appear) Apologize! Sorry. Huh? Where am I? (Makes Mihoshi disappear) Alright, that's enough of that. Something on Mihoshi's desk caught Kiyoni's eye, or rather the lack of things. Her desk was clean except for a single sheet of paper, a letter opener, a small white bottle, and an empty glass. Kiyoni walked over to Mihoshi's desk and picked up the piece of paper, and always one to go in order, ignored the bright red ink at the bottom of the page for now. (Invictus) EEK! BLOOD! (Pretends to faint) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Kiyoni, I now know that you hate me and so I won't get in your way anymore. The one wish I had will never come true, but maybe I can grant your wish, 'I wish you would just drop dead Mihoshi.' Okay, I was close. I just wanted you to know one thing before I left. I LOVE YOU Aw, how sweet. The last three words were written in red ink, which Kiyoni quickly recognized as blood. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to recognize dried blood. She let the paper fall from her hand and took a closer look at the other items on Mihoshi's desk. The letter opener had a bit of blood on the tip, the glass had a little water left in it, and the bottle much to Kiyoni's horror was empty. Horror of horrors! It didn't take a scientific genius to put two and two together and get suicide. Wow, I never knew two plus two equals suicide. Kiyoni felt tears pour from her eyes, it had been such a long time since she had cried tears of real grief. She picked up the letter opener and knelt down beside Mihoshi's body. Ew. I don't like cadavers. I don't think any of us do. Well, only when I'm dissecting them. Kiyoni had always wondered why she could never put up with Mihoshi, its not that the blonde got on her nerves, it was because of a constant feeling she felt around her. She realized now what that feeling was, Gee, could it be love? Lesbian love! *SHEEN* *FOOM* (Over loudspeaker) I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! and why she was prone to yell at Mihoshi so much. She loved Mihoshi too, she was just ashamed of herself for having such feelings for her former partner and to combat this she tricked herself into believing that she truly hated Mihoshi. (Over loudspeaker) I DO! REALLY, I DO! Sure, sure. She would make it better though, there was only one clear course of action now, she had to take her own life. (You know) GEEZ, I'M A FRIGGIN' RETARD IN THIS FIC! (Pointing to loudspeaker) AHA! THERE IT IS! DIE! *BLAMBLAMBLAMZEENZEEN* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I finally got that stupid loudspeaker! Now all I have to do is find Ayeka and exact my revenge! She was responsible for the death of an innocent woman, one who loved her nonetheless. Kiyoni bent down and gently kissed Mihoshi's cold lips, "I'm coming Mihoshi." I didn't know she was a necrophiliac. DIEEEEE!!!!!! *BLAMSHEENFOOMWHAMKLONGKLONGKLONGZEENZEENZEENPOWPOWPOWERWHEELSBAMBAMBAMC RUNCHKLANGBOOMPOPSLAPKICKPUNCHSILLYNOISEKABLAMMO* ^__^ You missed me! HUH?! (All look at who they just beat up) (Splat on the floor) *Cough cough* OUCH. Would you guys mind getting off of me? Hmm? Thanks a whole bunch. We'll get you for this. Kiyoni thought as she rammed the letter opener into her chest, giving it a good twist. That's a new one. I can see the headlines: "Death by letter opener". Even through the intense pain Kiyoni kept her lips on Mihoshi's, and gave the letter opener another twist. I'll be damned! She DID commit hari-kari! Kiyoni could feel the blood rising up her throat and into her mouth spilling out onto Mihoshi's face. Great, an even MORE greusome scene for the police to find. Kiyoni gave the letter opener one last twist, and as they say, the third time is the charm. That is so wrong it's befuddling. Kiyoni died just like she was, in a morbid, twisted form of a lover's embrace. AHA! She IS a lesbian! *SHEEN* *FOOM* Ouch. Tenchi had a very good day at school, he aced a test and made friends with a strange guy who always wore fatigue pants. The guy had always scared him before, but once Tenchi started talking to him they became quick friends. well, when he gets home, his day'll all go down the shitter. I'm warning you, stop swearing! This taught Tenchi a very important lesson in life, you should never judge by appearances. Except when it comes to Tyranids. You don't want to misjudge THOSE buggers! (Annoying nasal voice) TYRANIDS! (Smacks forehead) Oh God, not this again. Chuck, I thought I told you to stop doing that. I know you told me to, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna. ^__^; I have no idea what those guys are talking about. Plus the bus ride home had been peaceful which was always a good thing. Tenchi was walking along the forest path, book bag slung over one shoulder, whistling to himself. Then he rounded the corner and his whole body went slack, book bag falling from his shoulder. And there's Ayeka! Or at least her body. Ayeka was lying to the side of the path with a gun held in one hand. He rushed over to her and knelt down beside her body knowing full well that she was already dead, but refusing to believe it. The dime-sized hole in her forehead stared up at him like a third eye. Ewwww. Surprisingly he felt very little on the inside, and shed no tears. This is obviously not the Tenchi that I know. He'd be cring like a baby right now. He only gently lifted Ayeka's body off the ground and since the ground no longer supported the back of Ayeka's head it literally fell off along with most of her brains. (Throw up) BAAAARF!! (Recovering) THAT'S ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! Tenchi carried her body up to the house and kicked the door open and was once again met with a scene of brutal death. Run-on! Washu was sitting up against the door to her lab, a ragged hold in her chest, covered in blood, her own heart in her hands. Once again Tenchi felt nothing on the inside and did not cry. *Snif* *snif* Tenchi doesn't care about me...... He quietly walked into the living room and laid Ayeka's body down on the couch. Hey, I've been wondering, where is Katsuhito right now? He then walked over to Washu, picked her up supporting the backs of her knees and her neck so she wouldn't drop her heart and break it, Now, unless someone freeze-dried my heart, it would just splat onto the ground. and laid her down on the other couch. Tenchi next went into the kitchen and as he expected he found Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki lying in the floor, dead. Whoa, he's pretty perceptive to know what's coming. He picked up the young girl and her little friend SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! We're not in the mood. and carried them into the living room, laying them down on the floor next to the couch Ayeka was on. Tenchi went upstairs to his room, not even thinking anymore just going on auto pilot, and of course found Ryoko's body on his bed. Of course. One of her wrists were slit and there was a crude heart drawn in blood next to her. Tenchi picked her up and carried her back downstairs into the living room, lying her body on the coffee table. Well, I'd like to see you draw something really fancy with your blood when you only have about five seconds to live. He then went to Mihoshi and Kiyoni's apartment, via the subspace corridor of course, and walked directly into Mihoshi's room. He found Kiyoni kneeling next to Mihoshi's bed, a pool of blood still slowly spreading outward from her. As he moved closer to her he saw that she was kissing Mihoshi, SMOOCHY SMOOCHY! *SHEEN* *FOOM* OW. blood trickling from her mouth onto Mihoshi's face. Tenchi picked up Kiyoni's body and finally saw the letter opener sticking from her chest. He, as with all the others, carried her into his living room and laid her down in the floor. He repeated the process with Mihoshi and was relieved on some level to see only a small cut on her finger, she at least went out peacefully, to an extent. She fell asleep and died. I'd say that was pretty peaceful. At first glance he had thought that Sasami had gone much the same way as Mihoshi, but then he saw the twisted mask of pain on the youth's face. I'm also wondering why Tsunami didn't stop her. This is Tenchi Universe, remember. Ohhhh. Now with all six bodies lying in his living room he sat down in a chair, and cried. (Sympathetic) Cry all you want, Tenchi. He cried for hours before falling asleep, and even then he cried. Not even in the confines of sleep could he find solace from his pain. His pain was indescribable, everything that his life had become to this point was now gone, dead in his living room floor. It's cadaver city! Don't you have any respect for the dead? Somehow, he knew that this was his fault, and he was mostly right, with the exception of Mihoshi and Kiyoni. Tenchi did not kill himself though, oh no, the pain would be over much to quick then now wouldn't it? I wish he would and get this nightmare finished with. He lived for a good long time, Which is to be expected from a Juraian. in constant pain, misery and loneliness. He spent most of his time crying, if not on the outside then on the inside, and became even more of a recluse. >__< I'm just not even going to bother with any jokes until the fic is over with. I'll agree with you on that one. He refused to have any social interactions with anyone save for the voices in his head, the voices were of the girls of course and the only thing they ever said, or asked should I say was, "Why, Tenchi? Why?" >__o Is it over?! Almost. >__< Okay then. There are two lessons to be learned in this story: One, if you're insane enough to write this kind of fic, you should be shot on sight. And two, this is an example of what is wrong with the world. If the world gives you a choice, make one. To kill the author, or not to kill the author. THAT is the question. (Everyone looks at each other) KILL'EM!!!! Waiting only makes things worse, just follow your heart or your mind, whichever one you are more comfortable with. It doesn't matter if it is the right choice or the wrong one, because if you delay for too long all of your choices will be taken away and you will be left with nothing. The translation would be: "Since I'm such a jackass, my girlfriend left me. Now I like to depress people with my horrid fanfiction." The second one is a bit different: When you feel something towards somebody, just go with it and don't be scared. Weather it be love, Now that's the only part of the fic I think is funny. Using "weather" instead of "whether"? I love it! But I still hate the author. hate or anything in between, just go with what you feel and don't be ashamed. And for the sake of your loved ones (or yet to be loved ones) don't mask your emotions or force them back or change them because they aren't accepted by everyone. I sure as hell don't mask my emotions for Tenchi, and what do I get? An angry(And ugly) princess coming after me, and an angry Tenchi for blowing up the house every day. It takes all kinds to make this world an interesting place, But people like the author just make the world wierd and revolting. and besides, why deny yourself happiness? This guy denied himself a girlfriend probably because he's such a freak. And in this world of reckless happenstance Why do good things have to go away And leave you with nothing Ya, you left me with nothing Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah And a Strange Disease Prozzak-Strange Disease Whatever the hell that means. And he grossly misspelled Prozac. ^__^ I took my Prozac today! Stop using bumper sticker jokes! >__o Is it over now?! Yes, it's over. ^__^ YAY! --------All exit the theater-------- Alright everybody, time for the review. (To author, as Krusty the Clown) You sir, are an idiot. I am thoroughly disgusted, and need more counseling. You killed me! How dare you! (Crying) How could you kill all those beautiful ladies?! I don't think I'll ever read another fanfic as long as I live. Yes, that was truly gross, shocking, insulting to my intelligence, etcetera, etcetera. So, Chuck. Would you like to stay with us? Maybe. What channels do you get? All of 'em! Okay, I'm in! I think we should go wake up Samus and Invictus now. They've had a few good hours of sleep. I'll get the whipped cream! And I'll get the feathers! The End Jamie here. I am truly grossed out by this fic. I actually had to see a counselor after I read this, because of the horrible images in my mind. This author has some real talent, but he uses it on the wrong things. Maybe if he were a happier person, he could write even better. Jamie out.