Hello again, and welcome to Norad III, the MSTing Battlecruiser. As always, I do not own these characters, except for myself, and of course I don't own any characters in the MSTed fic. Megaman X belongs to Capcom, Washu Hibiki belongs to Pioneer, Meis Triumph belongs to Atlus and Red Company, Samus Aran belongs to Nintendo, and Captain Invictus of the Ultramarines First Company and Warhammer 40K belongs to Games Workshop. With that said, on to the descriptions of our heros, and then to the MST. Also, my spellcheck is broken, so there may be a few mistakes. You will also have to read my last MSTs to get some of the jokes in this one. NEVER FORGET 9-11-01 These are the tales of the crew of the Terran Battlecruiser Norad III. They were trapped there by Dr. Wily, who forces them to read bad fanfiction. And, just to give you an idea of what we look like, here are some descriptions. JS: Formerly a bald human seventeen-year-old, but was recently changed by Washu to have one attribute from each MST crew member. He now has an arm cannon called the J-Buster, a blue sword called the J-Saber, a helmet with ocular sensors in it, acid spit, and he didn't want anything from Meis. Megaman X: Last robot created by Dr. Light before his death. Now leads the Maverick Hunters thirteenth unit, as Captain. Can interchange armor parts, and use a variety of weapons. Wearing the Ultimate Armor; a black and cool-looking armor that allows him to hover in midair, take lots of damage, and use a special Giga Attack. For this time around, armed with the weapons from Megaman X4. Samus Aran: A bounty hunter from deep into the galaxy, her family was killed in a space pirate attack. Wears a special suit of Power Armor that was built by the Chozo, or Bird-People. This version of the armor is the Varia suit. Armed with an array of different energy beams, that can charge up to become more powerful. Has optical sensors built into helmet for better sight in the dark. Hates all perverts, especially Meis. Washu Habuki: One of three Goddesses: Herself, Tokimi, and Tsunami. Self-proclaimed "Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe", and nobody except maybe Yume has the brains to contest that title. Wears her old Science Acadamy clothes, and is armed with her Holoputer. She is 20,000+ years old. Also has a small forcefield generator, because of a certain pervert's continued insults toward a certain purple-haired princess. Has her hair inside a hat, so that it doesn't catch on fire in case anyone decides to use fire weapons. Meis Triumph: Possibly the luckiest guy in the world. He has twelve beautiful women all falling for him, and he isn't afraid to date them all! Wears a cloak, goggles, white pants, and a brown shirt. Has his trusty W-Blade at his side, and also can call upon many powerful beasts of magic to aid him. (For example, if Samus was trying to kill him again, he would summon Aquoon, the water dragon.) Probably the biggest pervert in the world, and proud of it. Has a high threshold for pain, possibly because of the constant beatings he gets from the other MSTers. Captain Invictus of the Ultramarines First Company: From the year 40,000, is second-in-command of one of the most powerful Space Marine Chapters in the galaxy, the Ultramarines. They are one of humanity's greatest achievements. He is eight feet tall, wears a suit of Terminator Armor.(Very large, bulky suit of all-enclosing mechanical armor, increases senses and reaction time one-hundred-fold.) Armed with a Storm Bolter(Huge double-barreled gun with detonate-on-contact ammunition) and a glowing blue Power Sword.(four foot long blade, with a matter-disrupting field around it. Basically allows him to cleave through anything) Has three hearts, four lungs, can spit acid, see in the dark, hear a pin drop from a thousand paces, run at speeds of up to thirty miles per hour, and can do just about anything else yo can think of, except fly.(Well, besides when Samus boots him up to the rafters, but that's not really flying) Also wearing an Iron Halo, which gives him a powerful forcefield. -------Inside Norad III's rec room-------- (It's just another typical day on Norad III. JS is playing Playstation, Meis is looking at some porno mags, and Samus is priming her gun to shoot Meis who is looking at porno mags. Washu is having some Sake, Invictus is chatting with X, and Zero is having a drink with Washu) (Playing Grand Theft Auto III) This sure is fun! Although those damn cops keep busting me! Then again, maybe that's because I keep blowing up their cars. (ogling at a picture) Oh yeah, I want HER number!*BLAMBLAMBLAM* Ha ha, you missed me! Damn you Meis, stand still so I can kill you! Washu, I think you've had enough to drink. (Drunk) Nawww, give me shum more o' that shtuff.... Okay, but this is the last one! (pours her another shot) (Drinks the Sake) Ohhh, zat hitsh the shpot! (Falls unconcious) ^__^; I knew I should've stopped her from having any more to drink! GODDAMMIT I DIED AGAIN! That damn Columbian Cartel! So, X, got any more weapons chips I can have? (Trying not to smile evilly) Well, I do have one more to spare..... Really? What is it? It's called "Frost Tower". I don't want it, so here. (Hands Invictus a computer chip) Gee, thanks! (Installs chip into armor) FROST TOWER! (Turns into an ice cube) And THAT'S exactly why I don't want that one! --------Incoming transmission-------- How are my test subjects doing? (glances around the room and sees: Invictus is inside an ice cube while X is laughing his ass off at him, Washu is unconcious, JS is smashing the Playstation all to hell, Zero is cleaning up behind the bar, and Samus is beating on Meis) ^__^; Oh, I see. I can't take it any more! AQUOON! Oh boy. (Aquoon appears and grabs Samus) HELP! You should've remembered I have THEM. Oh, well. Aquoon, do with her as you please. (Aquoon grins evilly) PERVERT!!!! (Starts blasting Aquoon) OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OKAY, that's enough! (Let's go of Samus, then walks over to Meis) Having the crap beaten out of me is NOT in the job description! I'm outta here! (Fades away) Getting back on track, It's time to have you do another MST. This one is not a lemon. YAY! BOO! It's a crossover with Megaman X and Tenchi Muyo. WHAT?! I know, I know. So everyone, get in there! And X, defrost Invictus! Oh, fine. Wait! Washu's out cold! Who will take her place? Hmmm.....(Zero is sneaking away) Oh, Zero! EEP! Aw crap, do I have to? Yes, you do. I command you to. (Sarcastically) I obey your every whim, oh great and powerful master. Watch your tone, or I'll have you dissassembled! Now get in there! -------All enter the theater------- All I can say is that it had better be a good fic. MegaManX Great, he's already misspelling my name. It's "Megaman X", not "MegamanX"! and all other MegaManX characters are licened and How unsanitary. This person has lice. Keep him away from me! owned by Capcom. Tenchi Muyo! and all Tenchi Muyo! are licened Geez, all the Tenchi Muyo cast have lice, too? What do you expect with all that hair? and owned by Pioneer. This fanfic was written by W. Showers He should use some lice medicine while he takes his Showers to get rid of those pesky critters. Email MShowmoney@AOL.com SHOW ME THE MONEY! This fanfic is a crossover between Mega ManX and Tenchi Muyo! The second in the series I have written. Hey Wily, why are we MSTing the second part? I couldn't find the first one. In the previous fanfic MegaMan X and Zero fought Sigma and the X hunters. I destroyed those guys a LONG time ago. After X and Zero trash the hunters See? Sigma opens a time and space warp (Singing) LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAAAIN!! taking them to the Tenchi Muyo! universe. Zero enlist the help of Tenchi and friends. I have noticed, a lot of these authors have been infected with Shampooitis. In the chase for Sigma, Zero and Washu fall in love. WHAT?! Oh, I am SO glad Washu isn't here right now to hear this. Sigma takes off into space, X follows him in his own ship. Ryo-Ohki is hurt to the point it can't turn into a spaceship. That's pretty bad, considering that's what it was to begin with. And Zero is stuck with the Masaki household. I wish I were him. Our story begins. (Mortal Kombat) It has begun....... I'm warning you, stop saying that! IN THE BEGINING That's harsh. He misspelled the title. Chapter 1 "It's been a month since X left", Zero thought. --without punctuation to end the sentence. "Not a word from him either, and I can't leave the house with my armor on or some inquisitive reporter might start asking questions, sigh ,at least I have Washu." That.....was ONE sentence. That's astonishing. Washu enters the room. "Hello lover, anything new?" (Turning green) I think I'm gonna be sick....... Washu asks. "No not much." Zero answers. Washu's voice rises "I see you are still laying on the couch , Zero. Dear god you've been mooping What the hell does "mooping" mean? around the house all month." "Well if I could leave the house without arousing suspicion I would get out." Zero starts to get up and leave. "Wait Zero, if that's the problem I have the solution. How conviiiiiiiiinient. Come join me in the lab. Meanwhile upstairs in Tenchi's room Ryoko is trying to get Tenchi's attention. "Get off me Ryoko!" Tenchi yells. "Ohh come on Tenchi I just want to show you something. Yeah, her body. Suddenly Ayeka busts into the room through the side wall. I didn't know she could do that, did you? (All shake their heads) " You space trash, how could you try to seduce my Lord Tenchi" AGAIN without any ending punctuation. (Boxing announcer) Ayeka begins the fight with a quick slap in the face, but how will Ryoko take it? Ryoko gets up. "Your Lord Tenchi? I am much more suitable for Tenchi than you, you, you flat chested bimbo. (Boxing announcer) And, after hesitating, Ryoko counters with a left hook to the chest! After a brief moment a silence Ayeka launches a furious attack at Ryoko (Boxing announcer) This seems to have gotten Ayeka's goat, and she attacks with everything she's got! knocking her through the outside wall. (Boxing announcer) That's gotta hurt! HEY! That's MY gig! Ryoko counterattacks with multiple energy blast. And of course Tenchi was in the middle. (Boxing announcer) Oh, there seems to be a scrawny person upsetting the fight! This won't end well! "Girls stop it!!!!" That was the last thing Tenchi said before both girls accidentally punched him knocking him out cold. (Boxing announcer) He's going, going, GONE! He's outta the ring, out the window, and all the way to the North Pole! In unison "TENCHI!!" Sasami and Mihoshi run in. Sasami knells Isn't a "knell" a type of hill? (All shrug) down near Tenchi. "What happened?" Neither Ryoko or Ayeka answer. "Oh we can sort this out later. Mihoshi go get Yosho. Let's move him downstairs onto the couch." Hours later Tenchi wakes up on the couch with a bandage on his head. "Uhhhhhhhhhhh! --ohhhhhhhhhhhh! What happened?" A doctor walks toward Tenchi. AKA Washu. "You have suffered a tremendous amount of bone damage in your skull. Wouldn't that give him brain damage? But you have for some reason healed almost completely, that is , after I performed my Super Cure All Procedure on you might I add is not cheap. I think that run-on may have been longer than the other one.......nope, just a little bit shorter. Here is my bill Mr.Masaki. I think there's supposed to be a space in between "Mr." and "Masaki". I'll expect my payment in 2 weeks or less. Good Day." Mr.Masaki looked at the bill and frowned. "Another bill and another debt. Not to mention the holes in Tenchi's walls. How are we going to pay for this? Sasami interrupts "With love?" She is NOT that stupid. "I don't think so kiddo" Washu enters the room from her lab. "The best we can do for now is clean up the mess and get the house work done. Couldn't Washu, you know, create some gold or something to pay for the damages? Ryoko , Ayeka since you two trashed Tenchi's room you should be the ones to clean it up. Yeah, that's logical. Put the two reasons the house gets destroyed every day in the same room and expect them to get along for a few hours. Great idea. Sasami you make dinner and Mihoshi rake the leaves up outside." Ryoko interrupts " And what will you be doing mom." --She asks without a question mark. "I'll be keeping poor Tenchi company." "But mom you have a boyfriend." Don't remind me. Washu, smiling "What can I say old habits die hard." Those were some good movies! Ayeka enters the conversation "Speaking of Zero where is he? I thought for sure he would be on the couch." Ryoko jokes "What a freeloader he loafs around and avoids work." Now Ayeka says, "sounds like you". "Sounds like you" quips Ayeka See? They're so predictable. "You ole hag you got us in this mess" He can't even get "ol" spelled right. "OH YEAH?" "YEAH" "@#$%%^%$^&* YOU" That's the longest swear I have ever seen. " SAME TO YOU" "Girls , girls this is how this started , SO SHUT UP. You tell'em, Washu! Also if you must know Zero left hours ago to go to town. Now GET TO WORK!!" Washu has turned into a monstrous slave driver! Everyone leaves to start their work. Only Washu and Tenchi are left in the room. (Laslo) Say, we have a caller on line one. Caller, what's your question? "So Tenchi do you feel up to a quick testing." (Laslo) That's not a question. Questions usually start with "when" and "why" and end with your voice going up like THIS! Tenchi looks at Washu. "I feel as if I don't have a choice in the matter." Just like Washu to take advantage of a situation li--QUACK! QUACK QUACK! It seems Washu woke up already. "Ah, Tenchi you know me all to well. Many Hours later. --After raping Tenchi. (Turns into a water sprite) QUACK QUACK! Yep, Washu is DEFINITELY awake now. (Walks in) *YAWN* ah, that was a nice little nap. But you fell unconcious because you were drunk. (Glares at Zero) I SAID, what a nice little nap! Washu is sitting on the couch by herself. "It's Eleven o'clock where is he." Yosho enters the room. "Washu it's late everyone else is asleep. Go get some rest I will wait for him." "No I am fine. But thank you. A man in a suit walks into the room. AGH! It's a Leone! Kill it! I think he's been playing too much Grand Theft Auto III. "Man those steps are a killer" Yosho gets up "May I ask who you are." (Person) Yes, you may ask who I am, but next time, use a question mark! Washu stands up "Oh that just Zero coming home late!" Washu _IS_ Shampoo. "OH I'm soo sorry my queen please accept my soul as payment. What the hell? *Sigh* In this fic you and I are lovers. OH GOD. (Throws up) Okay, I get the point. You don't have to barf all over me. Yosho gives a puzzled looked "But the armor" "I the Great Washu added a program to Zero that makes him look human. I did that? But if you Hit him it's pure bot,see" STILL no ending punctuation in sight. And why is "hit" capitalized? Maybe the author was taking a hit at the time. Washu hit Zero in the arm and hits flesh. QUACKQUACKQUACKQUACKQUACK! Fine, but no more insulting me! Ahh, it's good to be tall again! "Hey I didn't install a feeling sensor too" "My dear Washu I added on to my program so that I am human." "Noway Christ, he can't even spell "no way" right. If you were human I could cut you and you would bleed." (Monty) Don't make me cut you! Hey Zero, she's gonna cut you a new one. >__<* I AM NOT! Zero takes out a pen knife and makes a slice on his hand blood comes out. EEK! BLOOD! (Passes out) O__O! Of all the people who are afraid of blood, Invictus, veteran of a thousand battles, is one of them? "My Core processor has been replaced with a human brain. O__O; Whose brain, exactly, did you use? Maybe it was the author's. I guess Dr. Frankenstein did the procedure, right? All my mechanical systems have been replaced by bone , muscle,and blood. =__=; and who could do that besides Washu? Both Washu and Yosho are stunned. Yosho is finally able to speak "What about your armor?" "It can be activated with a single thought by me! How conviiiiiiiinient! Then I'll be the Zero you know and love. Washu starts to giggle I do NOT giggle! I simply laugh in a very annoying nasal tone! "So that means that you have all the human male qualities including testicular fortitude?" O__O! OH NO! Don't worry, it's not a lemon. Whew! Zero's eyes widened "Yes" Washu grabs Zero's arm and heads toward the lab entrance. (Eyes widen) Don't tell me-- (Eyes bug out of his head) That we're going to-- Have sex with each other?! Ewwwww. "It's been nice talkin to you Yosho but I've got an experiment to start. Yeah, a love experiment! *BLAMKLONG* Ouch. (Blushing furiously) SHUT UP! Yosho smiles " Say no more my dear." Zero and Washu enter the lab. If you put your ear to the lab door you could hear a female scream and a male moaning. I am NOT hearing this. I am NOT hearing this. This is just a horrible nightmare, and I should wake up when I pinch myself. *Pinch* OUCH! The next morning before any one else was up Zero and Washu were having coffee and watching the news on T.V. It must have been the farm report, because Katsuhito gets up pretty damn early. (Farm reporter #1)"In today's report, another cow was hit by a train. Those stupid cow pushers on the front didn't help at all." (Farm reporter #2) And a pig just bit me. Stupid black pig! Why don't you go to the North Pole! (Drop-kicks the pig northwards, and it somehow goes south) Geez, that must've been Ryoga. (To Invictus) When did you wake up? (Whispering)--wimp. I HEARD THAT! You are SO dead! Come here! Aw crap. I forgot he can hear stuff like that. (Runs away) Ah, the bonds of freindship grow ever stronger. You're starting to talk like Kuno. ACK! Kill me now! Washu puts her cup down "You were pretty good last night." Zero puts his cup down " I do aim to please" Yeah, but only when the aiming is for shooting! In a way, that's what you were doing. PERVERT! DIEEEE!!!!! *BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMCHOFCHOF CHOFCHOFKLONGKLONGPOWWHUMPBAMWHAMMOKABOOM* (Puddle of unrecognizable mush) I think I'll just be quiet now. GOOD! Washu takes another sip of coffee and jokes "For this being your first time you were right on target" (Looking at Zero and Washu) I think we might want to take a break here, before someone busts a blood vessel. (Veins popping out of their heads) Good idea! --------All leave the theater-------- (Back in the lounge) I sure do love this pizza! What do you call it again? Cricket and mealworm pizza! (Turning green, suddenly stops chewing) Oh. How.....interesting. Excuse me, I have to attend to some....business. (Rushes off) Hmmm. I wonder what that was all about. I think this pizza is good! (Munches on pizza) The crickets taste like chicken! (Turning green) Please, Samus, don't make us throw up. (Still mush, inside a fish bowl) Can someone please get me out of here?! NO! Aw, why not? Because, you'll just become a pain in the ass again. (Returning, wiping his mouth off) Shall we go back in? Oh, all right. --------All file back into theater, Samus is carrying Meis's fishbowl> Aw, why do I have to carry the pervert? It's the rule of Ranma 1/2. The more you insult each other, the more you like each other. That's why you have to carry him. (To Samus) You really like me?! NO! (Drops fishbowl) *KRASH* Great, now he's going to turn back to normal. Zero whispers to Washu "I didn't know you could scream so loud." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAQUACKQUACKQUACK!!! QUACK? QUAAAACK! That'll teach you not to laugh at me. Washu's face turns a deep red with embarrassment. "Say Washu didn't you at one time love Tenchi?" Washu smiling (Author) Me Shampoo! Honest! "I still do. But now its a older sister younger brother type of love." Zero smiles "So what kind of love am I?" Washu laughs "It should be pretty obvious after what you did last night.Now it was Zero's turn to be red with embarrassment. Zero gets up So, everything she said from "It", to "up" is her talking? That's pretty silly. (Notices all the water sprite MSTers turning green) Oh well, might as well change you back now. Much better! "I better get ready to go" Washu calmly asks "Where to?" Zero heads to the lab "No where special just out" Washu gets up "When can I expect you back?" Half past NEVER. Zero heads into the lab "Around the same time as last night." Washu cuts him off in the lab she comes in close for a kiss , Zero backs away. Yeah! Go me! "Washu I know what you did last night , I was there. I ain't kissing you until you brush your teeth and don't forget about the mouth wash! (Turning MANY shades of green) I didn't see THAT one coming. (Throw up) Meanwhile in Deep Space. --Nine. And why is it capitalized? "Master, we are close to the Earth's solar system, ETA (estimated time of arrival) Only a retard wouldn't know what that meant. HEY! Dont call me a retard! Figures. unknown." "IT DOESN'T MATTER ZERO WILL GET HIS. --Just desserts! Cake or ice cream? LAME. I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT. ONCE HE IS OUT OF THE WAY EARTH IS OURS." "Sir what about those punks he befriended?" Oh, so now I'm a punk? You DO look like one with that hair color. "WE'LL DESTROY THEM ALL EXECPT THAT PINK HAIRED ONE. SHE IS SMART ENOUGH TO THWART US. WE WILL CAPTURE HER DRAIN HER OF HER INFORMATION THEN DESTROY HER." Run-on, and I didn't know Sigma was capable of doing that. "But what about the Galaxy Police?" "SHUT UP YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS BUT I WILL HANDLE THEM TOO. Run-on. Stop doing that! PREPARE THE TROOPS FOR BATTLE . 4 hours later in Sasami's Room. Sasami is tossing and turning in her sleep. (Nightmare) It is I.......JIMMY HOFFA! (Sasami) NOOOOOO!!! Was that supposed to mean anything? No, not really. She sees a shadow of a man destroying Tenchi. She sees all her friends laying on the ground not moving. So she goes over and starts poking them with a stick. That was dark. As the dream goes on see sees the whole human race laying on top of one another. That's one big-ass pile of bodies. She also sees a fleet of ships destroyed and the bodies of those deceased in the cold reached of space all dead. I'm sure he meant "reaches", not "reached". Sasami looks at the shadow again , it's starting to come in focus. It's Sigma , no the image changes to X , I would do no such thing! no the view is clear, the shadow, the destroyer of Earth, Tenchi ,and that fleet ,it's Zero!! HEY! Hello, Mr. Planet Killer. GACK! (Holding Meis's neck) You take that back! Or I'll blast you into so much dust, they couldn't fill an ashtray with the remains! I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK! Zero holds his blaster out smiles a wicked smile and fires on her. O__O! (Turn to Zero) \__/* Would you really do that? N-no! Why would I want to hurt little Sasami? Sasami wakes up in a cold sweat. Sasami in tears First she's in a cold sweat, then she's in tears. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! goes to Tenchi's room. She wakes Tenchi up and tells him about the dream. Ryoko who is hiding in Tenchi's closet hears the story and Ayeka who is hiding under Tenchi's bed hears the story. I would expect that from Ryoko, but Ayeka? I guess she wants to be as close to him as possible. Ya damn right! (Everyone looks around, but don't see anyone) (Grinning evilly) I'm going to find that speaker and blow it to smithereens. THEN I'm going to find Ayeka and get my revenge for all the times she's shocked me. Coincidentally both come out at the same time and try to reassure Sasami. Ryoko starts "Sasami it was just a dream. Nightmare if you will." Tenchi interrupts " But still remember the dream she had about Kagato. That was a sign of things to come." (Start humming the X-Files tune) Wait, that wouldn't make sense, because aliens are already living with him. Ayeka ever so calmly states "Maybe we should tell Washu, just in case." They head down stairs to Washu's lab. (Tenchi) Oh, I'm sorry Washu! I didn't know you and Zero were-- *BLAMBLAMBLAM!* PAIN! Tenchi repeats the dream to Washu. Washu thinks for a while before speaking "Its just a dream. Zero would never hurt any of us. But as for Sigma........." Mihoshi burts into the (Sesame Street) Hello, I'm Burt! (Sesame Street) And I'm Ernie! lab. "Miss Washu I just got an ergent BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He spelled "urgent" "ergent"! AHAHAHAHAHA! message from the galaxy police on my cube but I can' t get it to work. I do believe that the CONTROL CUBE doesn't receive messages, that little wristband of hers does. Washu sighs "Give it here" Washu tinkers for a bit then a video uplink of a soldier appears from the cube. "Mihoshi we need help we were suddenly under attack by a huge force they are wiping us out please... Number one, that was a really freakin' long run-on sentence, and number two, why would they ask Mihoshi for help? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!." Washu tinkers some more "That was it. The transmission was cut off. But I can get a current view of the battle. Even I can't send a camera drone out there like that. Hold on for a minute."Washu starts typing on her computer. A screen come up the whole fleet was wiped out. (British accent) And here we see the run-on sentence in it's natural habitat. Isn't it wonderful? They seem to be growing in population lately. (Nature photographer) Yes, it is truly amazing. Dead bodies are everywhere. Sasami cries out "Thats what I saw in my dream." Mihoshi interupts Again, number one, he's talking like Shampoo again, two, he forgot the apostraphe in "thats", and three, he misspelled "interrupts", and number four, there should be an exclamation point after someone cries out! And Sasami shouldn't be watching that! *Huf huf huf* You shouldn't rant on like that, you'll kill yourself! "But how did they know they were there. Those ships had a special cloaking device. (To Washu) Now, if the Galaxy Police ships had a cloaking device, why didn't you guys use it on the Yagami in Tenchi Universe to escape the Jurai military? The only ones that knew about it was us..." Ryoko adds " Us minus two. Yosho and Zero aren't here."Tenchi jumps in "Grampa, no way he was in the shrine all day yesterday and is out side raking right now. That leaves.." "Zero" Great, now I'm the bad guy. Washu states. "He has been acting stange lately. Leaving the house in the morning and returning late. Not telling me where he's going. Very strange. Ok here's what we will do. Ack OH NO! The fic Washu is degenerating into Bill the cat! (Bill the cat) ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACKPTH! as if nothing has happened. I will try to speed up Ryo-Ohki's recovery. Ryo-Ohki must've gotten hurt pretty badly to not be able to heal itself. Ryoko you will spy on Zero and report every day. Alright lets get this experiment going." Geez, everything is an expiriment to the fic me. Ryoko follows Zero for a month , the destruction of fleets contiue in space , and Zero keeps returning late. In Town Ryoko is following Zero. Zero walks into a alley Ryoko follows but when she gets there he has vanished. He pulled a Ryoko on Ryoko. "I swear he went down here" "I did come down here Ryoko" Ryoko turns around to see Zero in full hunter armor blaster pointed at her. DAMMIT, IT'S CALLED THE Z-BUSTER! Why doesn't anyone ever remember that? "Now tell me why you have been following me for a month now!" Ryoko spills the beans about the whole operation. (Fic Zero) Ooh, Lima! "I see and Washu put you up to this." Ryoko quickly answers "Yes" Zero answers back "Well tell her I 'll be home early to answer some of those questions" Zero blast a blinding light at Ryoko. This case of Shampooitis is getting pretty severe. When the light is gone, so is Zero. POOF! Just like Batman. Ryoko goes home and tells Washu what happened. Washu listens carefully and says "He won't be happy with me but I got to smooth it over with him." Meanwhile in deep space. --Nine. Stop doing that! I hate Star Trek! "Sir we've wiped out over 100 ships in the last month." "BAHH!! THREE LOUSY FLEETS. THE REAL FIRE WORKS START WHEN WE PASS MARS. I'LL DESTROY THEM ALL. MAINTAIN CURRENT SPEED." Hmmmm..... What are you pondering, X? Oh, just that I don't remember the entire Galaxy Police force in OUR solar system. Good point. And he used numbers instead of words. 1 hour later Zero returns to the Masaki residece. He heads straight for Washu's lab. Washu is sitting typing something on her computer. Zero quickly changes into his hunter armor and blasts the keyboard Washu is using. This author obviously doesn't know a THING about Tenchi Muyo. I mean, if you watch episode seven of the OAV, baby Taro puts his hands and head through the keyboard. Also, I can make it appear and disappear any time I want. Are you quite done? ^__^ Yes! Washu turns and faces Zero "Was that nessisary?" This spelling is starting to hurt. Zero is hot with rage " Idon't know you tell me. Was having Ryoko follow me nessisary?" Ouch. Washu frowns " Listen I only had the family's safety at heart. When Sasami had the dream.." Zero interrupts " A dream?! Yes, I do believe some dreams tell the future , but thats Ouch. why we have reality to make sure so dreams don't come true. I sure do talk a lot in this fic. (Mumbling) Not just in the fic. (Z-Buster to his head) You want to repeat that, Meis? EEP! NO! Instead of spying on me you should have told me about the incidents. So did the spying pay off?"Washu looks at the blasted keyboard "No , everyday she would lose track of you.But that just added to the thought of you transmiting OUCH. information to the destroyers out there" Zero starts to laugh " Do you know what I was doing. I got a job working as a stockbroker's assistant. I had to arrive early each moring to get the good buys and stay late to assist the broker. Wow, what a surprise. A walking calculator working with numbers. Remember, he had his core processor taken out and a real brain put in by Dr. Frankenstein. Why all this trouble for a job? Could it be.....MONEY? The assistant position pays well. See? And with the money I made I could help pay off some of the debt this family has." Washu has tears in her eyes " Oh Zero I didn't know." Zero turns his back to her " That's right you didn't know. And while I can't blame you for thinking the way you did I still wish you told me how you felt on the matter. And eve if I still hadn't told you, you could have asked Yosho about it. How the hell does he know that Katsuhito is Yosho? Washu's face turns blank "Yosho?!!" Zero turns and faces her "Yosho knows because 1. He is up when I leave every morning, 2. He wacthes OUCH. where I go and 3. most importantly I give him the money to pay the bills. Zero change back into a suit and tie and exits the lab . Washu follows "Where are you going?" Zero turns "Back to work I'm on my lunch hour." Ayeka , Ryoko, Tenchi , Mihoshi and Sasami are on the couch quietly waiting for Zero to leave. (Ryoko, to Zero) Go away! SHOO! SHOO! After Zero leaves they all gather around Washu. Tenchi starts "So what did you find out?" Washu smiling " Well I found out we made complete boobs BOOBS!!! *KLONG* (Retracting hammer) Like a colt, you are. out of ourselves. Aparently Zero has been working downtown to pay off the debt we're in. Not contacting the destroyer. Ryoko interupts " And you bought it oh man he's got you worked." STILL not a comma to be seen for miles. Washu starts again "If you don't believe me ask Yosho. Zero has been giving him the money to pay off the debt." Tenchi starts "Washu your right but I feel worse than a boob (Pointing AC at Meis's head) Say it and die. I won't say it I won't I won't I won't! more like a backstabber." Everone agrees except Ryoko who is still against Zero Sasami who has been quiet says " Maybe we could make it up to him by doing something nice." Washu agrees " Yes I know what we can do but we've got to hurry he gets off work at eleven. This person obviously doesn't know about the miracle of the comma. Ryoko interrupts again " Oh yeah that gives us only 9hours to work with. (Smacking forehead) OH NO! This person has Loreal syndrome! What do you mean? LOOK! He's using numbers instead of spelling them out. Oh what will we do?" Washu with a big smile on her face "Ryoko sass me one more time and you'll be sorry!!!" 9 hours OUCH! later in deep space --ni*BLAM!* PAIN! I told you to stop saying that, but NOOOO, you wouldn't listen. " FIELD AGENT" "Yes sir" "GET YOUR TROOPS IN POSITION THE FINAL HOUR IS ALMOST HERE." (Covering ears) He's very loud. (Also covering ears) I'll have to agree with you on that one. "Sir we have tracked Zero's last known location to a house in the hills. I already have a small platoon hiding around it" "GREAT. YOU MAY GET PROMOTED IF YOU DO YOUR JOB RIGHT. NUMBER 1, STATUS." "We are 7 days from Earth." "GOOD. FIELD AGENT TELL YOU TROOPS TO FIRE ON MY WORD. Meanwhile in the Masaki house. Washu comes over to Zero. Wow, she's pretty talented. *BLAMBLAMKLONGSMACKWHUMPBAMPOWBANGCHOF* "You seem distracted tonight is something wrong?" Zero looks up "No but something feels odd. I mean I'm glad you guy threw a party for me. (Doctor) Okay, we need a stretcher, STAT! I'll need a spellcheck, and ten CC's of English, and I need it yesterday, people! (Nurse) Don't you think that's a bit severe, doctor? (Doctor) ANYTHING to get this person spelling right! I just need some air." Zero goes outside and takes in a breath of fresh air. "Something stinks. (As fic Zero) Oh wait, that's just my breath. Wait I know that smell its from a warmed up plasma disruptor ......" HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW THAT?!!! AND it's a run-on sentence! Zero runs into the house "Everbody move it!!!!" Hoof it to the broom closet! "FIRE" Outside hundres (JS falls on the floor, convulsing in pain) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! (Kicks JS) Oh come on, the spelling isn't THAT bad. of plasma bursts come from bushes , trees and other objects. --Like a pebble, a cloud, Homer Simpson, the Batmobile, a statue of a my thumb, etcetera...... The blasts penetrate the house like it was made of paper. The house is full of holes big and small. (Tour guide) Here we have the Swiss Cheese house, filled with holes big and small. "Sir the target has been destroyed." This is the End of Chapter 1. But are our heroes dead , We hope so, then this craptacular fic would end! if so I'm out of a job but if not get ready for Chapter 2 OH NO! You mean there's ANOTHER chapter?! I'm afraid so. Tenchi Muyo! and related characters are copyrighted by Pioneer. Mega Man X and related character are copyrighted by Capcom. My name is W.Showers and email address is MShowmoney@aol.com We're not even going to bother. In the previous chapter Zero settled into the Masaki home and is now human, plus he got a job. A mysterious force is destroying ships in outer space. BOOM! And in the end a group of troops fire on the Masaki home with the gang inside. Chapter 2 The Masaki home is in ruins. The leader of the troops makes his report "Sir the house is no more. We detect no life signs in the house." Could it be because they're inside my sub-space laboratory? "GOOD RETURN TO THE HIDEOUT AND WAIT FOR MY ARRIVAL." The troops head out. Inside the house all is still. When the smoke clears the door to Washu's lab opens. Zero steps out. "Geez it's gonna cost a fortune to clean this place up" ^__^ Not with ME around! The rest of the gang comes out. They look around. Tenchi finally breaks the silence " Any idea who would do this" There must be a punctuation thief somewhere around here! Be on your guard! Zero steps up "They were using plasma disruptors. Only one person knew the right level of tolerance for that weapon. Sigma" Who didn't see that one coming? (Nobody raises their hand) Washu interrupts "While we were in the lab I got a ship on the short distance scanners. It's huge large (Sarcastically) Gee, I wonder if it's a big ship. That HAD to be a typo. enough to take out those fleets in space just by running into them." Zero looks puzzled. "If this is Sigma where is X ? Knowing my luck, I'm probably his right-hand man. But first things first we have to have a plan" "Washu smiles slyly " I've got one. Zero and I will teleport..." Ayeka interrupts " Teleport how?" Washu is getting irritated "People stop interrupting. We will teleport using the teleport device in Zero's hunter gear..." Oh, so THAT'S how I teleport. Zero interrupts " Sorry my teleporter only teleports people on earth and uses alot of energy. Why not use Mihoshi's ship.? A period AND a question mark? Washu has a vein pooping O__o;;;...............Ewwwwwww.............. And here I thought veins were only good for running blood through your body. You learn something new every day. out in her head " Dammit stop interrupting. One Mishoshi 's Ouch OUCH. Oh _NO_. You are NOT starting that up again. ship is like a peanut compare to that ship. Two we would be detected. Three your teleporter can be reformatted for short space trips. Leave it to Washu to configure something to do ANYTHING you want it to. Continuing with the plan once inside we'll plan I thought the planning was all finished. my new antimatter charges all around the ship. If we find out it's Sigma's we denate. I have no idea what that last sentence meant, do you? (All shrug) If it's not his we disarm them. Not a bad plan. Considering I only had a few minute to think it up. Am I a genius or what?" No one argues with her seeing as if you disagree you might wake up a cat. I guess this person really DOESN'T watch the series. I would turn them into a water sprite, not a cat. Still Zero raises a concern "Even with that plan we should strengthen of base here. Just in case." Zero hand Tenchi a credit card. That severe case of Shampooitis just won't give up. "Tenchi use this to buy supplies to repair and strengthen the house." Ryoko swoons over Tenchi. Ryoko wispper in Tenchi's ear He can't even spell "whisper". And everyone, be careful. We don't want you guys catching Shampooitis too. What you mean? AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! (Faints) Geez, he was really convinced, wasn't he? " Ya know you don't have to spend all of it on supplies. Some new rings or maybe a trip for two." Qand for once, someone's in character. Ayeka over hears and start arguing. Tenchi for once makes them take it outside showing that the house can't take another beating. Didn't it collapse to the ground? I don't think so. Zero heads for the lab but Washu stops him. "Since when do you have a credit card ?" Zero looking nervous "Ahh, I don't give all my money to Yosho. And it's better than caring cash." Yeah, I guess he doesn't care about cash if he gives most of it to Katsuhito. Washu smiles "Don't you mean OUR money?" Zero's nervousness is growing " Yeah didn't I say that?" Zero thinks "Got to change the subject before I never hear the end of this.( Speaking out loud now) Duhhhhh......... Say, JS, when did you wake up? I dunno. I guess it's just so I can insert my commentary on this author's bad spelling. So when's the ship get to Earth's atmosphere?" Washu changes her tone to serious "In a 3 to 4 days. He used numbers again! This person is ripe with viruses! First Shampooitis, then Loreal's syndrome, what next? Tank Cop fever? What, exactly, is "A three to four days"? But I have created a magnetic storm to slow them down. Excuse me I have to make the charges." She heads into the lab. Zero thinking again " Whoa dodged a bullet there. But I better get ready for Sigma gotta get pumped." (Shoe commercial) PUMP IT UP! That last sentence was a run-on. STOP IT!!! Washu thinking "He thinks he dodged a bullet eh. We'll see once this jobs done." O__o; Washu, you can read minds?! I have no idea what this author is talking about! In space. "THIS DARN MAGNETIC STORM CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. NUMBER 1 HOW MANY DAYS DOES THIS PUT US BACK?" "Two days sir." "AS SOON AS COMMUNICATION IS BACK UP GET ME THE FIELD AGENT. I HAVE A FEELING THIS STORM WAS CREATED BY A SHORT PINK HAIRED FRIEND OF OURS." I THINK I'M GOING DEAF! WHAAAAT?! I SAID, I THINK I'M GOING DEAF! WHAAAAT?! OH, NEVER MIND! "Yes sir." 3 days later in the Masaki home. Tenchi and the girls are outside working on the house while Washu reformates Zero's teleporter. (TV commercial) Yes, it's "Reformate", the newest version of, "Reformat"! Tenchi stops and looks at the house. " Wow the house looks as good as new and stronger since Zero made us reinforce the house with steel." Well, I think I know a bit about plasma weaponry, seeing as how I have one! And does THIS look like steel will stand up to it? (Fires his Plasma Blaster at a pile of metal, the metal melts into a puddle of molten goo) HA! YOU FOOL! I was gathering that metal for an escape pod! Oopsie. Ayeka who is working beside him joins in "Yes and with all of us working we'll be done in notime" Noway, notime, this person doesn't use the space bar to it's fullest potential! "Easy for you to say" grunts Ryoko "I have to set up the house wide force field Washu made.Ryoko sets a spike into the ground. She flips the switch on it. The spike shoots out energy. It fries Ryoko. Mihoshi checks on her. She did this, period. Then she did that, period. she did this, period. then, finally, she did those things, period. Period period period! "Didn't Washu say wait till all the spikes were down before turning it on?" Now how could Mihoshi remember something like that? A fried Ryoko Crispy fried PUNK! I think we should keep him away from the Twisted Metal games, too. replies "Silly me" They continue to work knowing that they will be in one of the greatest battle any of them has ever been in. Meanwhile inside the house Sasami gloomily cleans the house.She is thinking about her injured friend Ryo-Ohki. More like pet. Well, she CAN think for herself, so I guess friend is acceptable. " Oh Ryo-Ohki that mean ole Sigma hurt you badly. I'm going to get even don't you worry. I'll go with Washu and Zero and get him good." Great, now Sasami's a dumb-as-a-brick homocidal maniac. Washu overhearing her thoughts excuses herself from reformatting grabs something out a tank and goes upstairs to Sasami. CHRIST! It seems that I have the ears of a bat in this fic! "Sasami I overheard your thoughts and well maybe this will help" She hands her Ryo-Ohki. "Oh thank you Washu you saved her." Washu replies " Yes but she is still very weak. You have to take good care of her or she'll die." No offense to Sasami, but I wouldn't trust her to take care of a critical patient. Wow, Meis, that's the first intelligent sentence I've ever heard you say! Huh? You shot who in the what now? Okay, that kinda cancels that smart thought out. Sasami smiles " Oh I will I will" (Sasami, evil voice) You are at MY mercy! MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Washu heads back to her lab. She continues to reformat Zero's teleporter. "I just did my good deed for the day" Zero smiles "Good for you. Say can you hurry up I got to go to work to ask for a few days off." Geez, it could be the end of the world as we know it, and he wants to go ask for a few days off? Washu with a pair of tools "Just be still this is delicate work." Meanwhile in space. "FIELD AGENT REPORT." "We have destroyed the target. Zero wall seen in the house before it's destruction." "DID YOU RECOVER THE BODIES?" "Ah no sir we assumed they were vaporized." "YOU MORON THE PLASMA DISRUPTOR ISN'T CAPABLE OF VAPORIZATION. On the contrary! Plasma weapons are fully capable of vaporisation! (Takes a pot-shot at Meis, but he dodges. The plasma hits a seat and vaporises it) See? Watch where you're aiming that thing, bub. GET BACK THERE AND GET THE BODIES." "Shall I take a small force?" "IF YOU DID YOU JOB YOU WON'T NEED ONE." (Field agent) Well YOU I YOU think YOU that YOU I YOU should YOU take YOU a YOU small YOU force YOU! Later that same day at the Masaki home. It's dinner time. The whole family is at the table. No one is speaking just eating. Finally Zero breaks the silence "You guys did a good job on the house you can't even tell it got shot up." (Tenchi) Gee, thanks. Tenchi thanks him for the compliment. Washu speaks up "Ryoko how's the force field going?" Ryoko stops eating " All the spikes are down" Washu starts eating again and all is silent. Zero has had enough and stands up " OK what is the problem!!! It's time for my trademark line: ?????????????????????????? <== I've got a million of 'em, just ask! What is with this silence?" Tenchi calmly explains " We feel as if we aren't together on this mission." Zero fires back BLAM BLAM BLAM! "You guys can't come because only I can take out Sigma and only Washu can activate and set the charges. The author seems to have Run-on disorder, too. Plus someone has to stay and make sure Sasami is ok" Well, considering she's a goddess, I think she'll be just fine. Tenchi raises his voice "We don't even know if it is Sigma and Sasami can take care of herself." See? Zero raises his voice " Oh is that true. What if all of us except Sasami left and while we were gone Sigma sends his troops and captures her then what." Tenchi starts yelling "What's the force field for huh decoration. Wow. That was pretty amazing. Tenchi yelled a question, yet it sounded nothing like yelling or a question. And what makes you such a expert on Sigma. So you chased him for years but that's all you did, chase!!!" Battle and Chase! O__o; Huh? It's a Megaman racing game. Everyone is quiet mostly surprised at Tenchi's words. Zero changes to hunter gear and point his blaster at Tenchi. (Zero, as cook) Okay, one order of fried Tenchi brains, coming right up! "You know for someone as spineless as you you got alot of balls getting in my face. YEAH! GO ME! Kick his ASS! You want to know why I know Sigma so well because I used to be an X hunter like Sigma." Really? >__<* Yes, really. What, you think Wily would make me a good guy? Everyone gasps even Tenchi. " Boy I've done things that makes Ryoko's acts seem like charity work. And that's saying something! I was programmed to kill all humanoid life forms and for years I was good at it. Don't remind me. Until Dr.Cain fixed me. Yeah, where did he go after X three? He just kinda....faded away, y'know? I'm not sure, either. I think he went and helped Sigma in X five. I chase Sigma to repay a debt to all the people I hurt. PAIN! I know Sigma will come after Sasami as soon as his men come by and see the house intact.Why Sasami because he will have a hostage that is powerless to stop him. Oh sure, she's a goddess, but apparently it doesn't matter in this story. Then we bend to his will because he has one of our own. We don't he kills her. O__o; Huh? Did you understand that last sentence at all? Nope. It's as simple as that. How do I know , because that's what I would have done. Excuse me."Zero heads to the lab to blow off steam. Tenchi is angry too "Well screw you Zero you don't know everything. He storms off to his room. Everyone is shocked. Washu gets up It's kind of strange that Tenchi would say all that, not to mention "screw you". "I'll talk to Zero and calm him down. Yosho please calm Tenchi down. I ALWAYS call him Katsuhito, not Yosho. We don't need this a few days before the big drop. Washu goes into the lab. In the lab Zero is punching a punching bag in the lab. What a barbarian. Boxing! HMPH! (Whispering to JS) What's with her? (Whispering to Zero) Her last boyfriend was the intergalactic boxing champ. He cheated on her. Ohhhhhh. Washu come next to him "Zero you were very hard on Tenchi. Zero, I didn't know you were gay! SHUT UP AND DIEEEE!!!! *BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM!* Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. Instead of yelling you should have tried to see his point of view." Zero turns to her " His point of view? The boy has lived a sheltered life with a bunch of women. The most he worries about are grades and not hurting someones feelings. If I could rid the world of Sigma and all of his kind I would do anything even suicide." And, knowing where this story is going, that's probably what I'm going to do. Washu kisses him on the cheek "Now hear what I have to say. If you could shelter Tenchi from living a life you went through would you? Yes you would because you defend the innocent. But you never had a childhood so you don't know what he's going through. So don't slander him try to learn from him and give him advice when he needs it. Him him him! AND it's a run-on! That is what a friend does." Zero kisses Washu deeply BLECH. " Will you marry me?" Washu steps back "Where did that come from?" Zero answers " Well I 'd been thinking of a way to ask you and it just slipped out. So will you?" Washu thinks deeply then answers "For you Zero anything." Awwwww. Wait, what am I thinking? They kiss passionately. Smoochy smoochy! Meanwhile in Tenchi's room Yosho tries to calms Tenchi down. "Grampa, he thinks he knows everything. He's staying in our house he could at least show some respect." (Tenchi, as Rodney Dangerfield) I don't get no respect! None at all! Yosho calmly responds "Respect? The man got a job that works him longer than most men to pay off our debt, none of of other guest have a steady job, I think he knows respect. And here we have the world's longest sentence! You could learn alot of things from him. Take advantage of his experience, he won't be here forever" Gee, wonder if the author is trying to tell us something. Tenchi who is calm "Your right I was dumb to make a scene like that" He used the wrong "you're". HEY! That's MY job! Yosho tells Tenchi to get rest and apologize in the morning. Outside the field agent watches the house. "I must report this." Later that night in space "FIELD AGENT REPORT." That's what, the fifth time it's said that? "Sir the targets are still alive..." " WHAT SO THEY SURVIVED. Huh? That last sentence didn't make a lick of sense. YOU HAVE FAILED ME AGENT." " No sir I heard their plan to infiltrate the ship. They plan to send Zero and the pink haired one up as so as the ship is in teleporter range. "The pink haired one"? Dammit, I'm the greatest scientific genius in the universe! The others would stay on Earth." "IS THAT SO. FIELD AGENT? YOU JUST SAVED YOURSELF FROM DESTRUCTION. HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL WE ARE IN THEIR RANGE?" "You will be in range tomorrow" "THAT SOON HUH WELL THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE A NICE SURPRISE WAITING FOR THEM!!!!!!!!" Wow, that's a lot of exclamation points. I think the comma has become extinct in this person's world. Meanwhile in the Masaki home everyone is in bed resting up for tomorrow. Tenchi is sleeping in his bed , Ryoko is sleeping on the floor next to him. Ayeka and Sasami are in their rooms and Mihoshi strangely enough is checking all her weapons. To quote Peter Suzuki on the weapon, "You know, that giant gun she uses from time to time, that isn't supposed to be loaded, yet somehow manages to fire and destroy stuff, anyway". Downstairs in the lab Zero and his wife to be, Washu are in bed but Zero is not sleeping. He holds her very tight by her waist. His eyes are wide open.He carresses her neck with soft kisses.She makes a low happy wine in her sleep. Wow, Washu! You can make wine when you're sleeping? Now THAT is a talent! He slowly loosens his grip on her. He decides to get up and get some air. On the outside step he sees Yosho. He sits beside him. Yosho is staring at the sky "Zero what keeps you up tonight?" Zero turns to see the sky "It's this mission. I have so many responsibilities. Gotta be sure this is Sigma. Hope nothing happens here while we are gone. And watch over Washu in that ship." Yeah, you better not let me die! Yoshu looks at Zero "Ah you miss the solitude of the missions of past. You just worried about yourself and geting that crook. Yet another sentence that doesn't make any sense. But now it's complicated." Zero in shock I don't think he's gonna make it. The Shampooitis is too severe to cure. GASP! "Yeah you read me like a book. See I have no problem detonating those charges with me in the ship but now I have someone else there with me and it's not my choice anymore." Yosho stands up "I assume that Miss Washu will not only be you partner for this mission but for the rest of your life. Now you have to make it you likelong mission to see that she never gets hurt. How do you make something "likelong"? That is your true mission. Think about it" Yosho walks back in the house."What does that mean?" Zero sits for a little longer before going in. He returns to the lab and tinkers some with his teleporter then looks at bed. He's a lost cause. He looks at Washu in her adult form HUBBA HUBBA! *KLONG! KLONGKLONGKLONGKLONGKLONG!* I may look good, but I would never go near YOU. "I won't let him get to you.I love you now and forever" He kisses her cheek and takes the charges with him as he exits the lab. That's a run-on, and I thought it said only Washu knows how to activate the charges. He sits on the couch in his hunter armor. "At 6 o'clock the ship will be in range and I'll get you Sigma." 6'oclock the next morning in space. "We are in their range sir." "GOOD YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO." In the Masaki home. Zero uses the teleporter and gets on the ship. 15 minutes later Yes, this case of Loreal's syndrome is getting very bad, too. Washu wakes up to find her charges and Zero gone. "No he couldn't have. Computer scan for Zero" "ZERO IS NO LONGER ON EARTH" Washu goes up stairs and wakes everyone up and brings them downstairs. He seems to be showing signs of the Run-On flu, also. Hmmm, this person is a walking virus. " Zero has already left for the ship and there is nothing we can do about it. Everyone the fated hour is here. Get the force field up and get ready for battle." No, you don't say it like that, you say, "Ryoko, activate the force field. Everyone, PREPARE FOR BATTLE!!!" Everyone is groggy and moves slowly. Washu fixes that problem with a quick jolt of electricity to the gang. Now they start moving with speed. Oh, so now we're druggies. Meanwhile on the ship Zero takes out the charges. he places one on the wall and activates it. "Scaners indicate that the control room is due north. Sigma here I come." It's a "scaner", the less accurate version of a "scanner". He runs down the corridor planting charges as he runs. He thinks this is suspiciously unguarded for a warship. He keeps moving . A light at the end of this long corridor has to be the control room. DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!! He makes it to the control room. The door shut behind him. "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ZERO" Zero looks in the shadows of the room and sees Sigma! What a surprise. "So it is you you piece of ..." --WORK. "NO NEED FOR TRASH TALKING. WE BOTH KNOW WHY YOU ARE HERE, TO STOP ME FROM DESTROYING THE HUMAN RACE. SO HAVE AT ME!!!!!!" Zero takes a shot at Sigma with his blaster. Sigma dodges and returns fire. (Monotone) Wow, how amazing. The blast hits Zero square in the chest launching him into a wall. Sigma walks toward Zero. "GOTTEN SLOW HAVE WE?" Zero smiles "Gotten stupid have we?" Zero throws his sword at Sigma. I would NEVER throw my saber! I would launch myself at him, swinging it furiously! The sword pierces through Sigma's armor and goes right into his gut. Geez, this Sigma must've worked REALLY hard to make a body that had a gut. Zero gets up and takes his sword out of Sigma. He raises it above his head "Finally it's time to die Sigma" As he brings the sword down Zero is shot from behind. The shot carries Zero through a wall. "What the hell was that!" Sigma gets up "IT WAS MY COMMANDING OFFICER. ZERO PLEASE MEET MY NUMBER 1, NEO X!!!!!!!!!" Grumble grumble, stupid author, grumble grumble..... I wonder where he got the name NEO. Could it be from X one, NEO Sigma? Hrm? Zero gets up only to see X in black armor. (Looks at X) Y'know, that armor looks a lot like the Ultimate Armor that you're wearing right now. "X what the hell are you doing. We have to destroy him." X walks foward " Sorry brother but Sigma is much more fun to be with than you." Ummm, I think this guy is confusing the X series with the regular series. X and Zero aren't brothers, Megaman and Protoman are. X shoots Zero again . " X ,I will not fight you." This guy obviously hasn't played Megaman X five, or else he would know that we WOULD fight each other. X smiling "Then you will die" X continues to fire on a damaged Zero. I would NEVER do that! Sigma who is badly damaged walks to the control panrl and has a mechanical hand pick Zero up.Zero is half awake and half unconscious. Jesus, that was a long sentence! "DON'T WORRY ZERO YOUR FRIENDS WILL JOIN YOU SOON. I SENT MY FORCES DOWN THERE TO DESTROY YOUR FRIENDS. IT WILL BE ALL OVER SOON." Zero laughs in his face. "Don't expect your force comming back. Those kids are as tough as nails. HEY! Who are you calling a kid?! Your such a fool. Haahahahahahahahah!!!!" I think he's laughing because he purposely used the wrong "you're". X slaps Zero in the face. "TAKE HIM TO THE TORTURE ROOM HOOK HIM UP TO THE NERO NET AND START AT 50 AMPS ." One, that sentence could have been THREE sentences. Two, why wouldn't they just disassemble him, and three, what the hell is a "nero"? Back on Earth. Washu is in her lab getting ready. Ryoko , Tenchi and Ayeka are outside ready for battle. Mihoshi is watching over Sasami. Suddenly Washu yells "Incoming enemy from all sides. This is not a drill. Go out and kick some Heinie! Tin cans! ASS! Primitive life-forms! Balls! (All the guys cross their legs) butt. Oh. Washu lets the force field down and Tenchi Ryoko and Ayeka move out in front of the force field. And the redundancies appear. Washu puts it back up. Tenchi yells " I'll be damned Zero was right." Apparently, exclamation points are extinct here, too. Ayeka yells "This is no time to be sorry. I'll take the ones on the left Tenchi you take the center and Ryoko you take the right. Ok here they come" A large group of flying huminoid machines. A large group of fling humanoid machina _WHAT_? Oh, did you learn that word from Tidus? Yeah, I like the word "machina" better than "machine". Armed with plasma rifles they fire on the house only to have it stoped I hope he meant "stopped". by a force field. Ryoko moves first creating an enrgy blade and slashing through the machines on her side 1 by 1. Yeah, I see how this person is like Loreal. Tenchi uses his sword and starts swinging. Be logical here. Why would a bunch of flyers get close enough to a non-flyer so that it could attack them? It's just like in video games! Well, they ARE from a video game, you know. Ayeka gathers a mass of energy and blasts away some of the machines on her side. After many minutes of fighting all the machines are destroyed. Wow, a whole "many minutes". At least he didn't droll on and on about the battle, thereby shortening our torture. Tenchi sits down " I never fought so many machines in my life" I didn't know he had fought ANY machines in his life! Well, there are Yakage's guardians, but they are more biological than mechanical. Ryoko plumps down right next to him "Ditto" AAAAAGH! It's a Pokemon! KILL IT! Washu speaks to them telepathically " It's not over yet there are more on the way even larger than before."Tenchi stands up "We can't hold them off forever." Washu agrees " Ryoko I have pin pointed the location of their origin sector 5b. Y'know, I'm running out of jokes for the numbers, so I think I'll stop. GOOD! You go there and shut them down from there." Ryoko argues " But who will cover the right?" Washu calmly explains " Don't worry about it I prepared for an attack on the house when I first moved in. Behold." Washu presses a button on her key board. Out of the roof and other normal places around the house gun turrents appear. (Tenchi) Wow, I don't think I'll feel safe going to the bathroom in that one again. "I have now activated our security system. The turrents will target and fire on anything that I have not regestered as allies. *SHEEN FOOM* (Washu) Oops, I forgot to put Noboyuki in the database. Silly me! So go now Ryoko and hurry." She teleports off. The turrents lock on to the incoming machines and start to fire. Tenchi yells " Here we go again." In the control room of Sigma's ship. "HOW GOES THE ATTACK FIELD AGENT?" " Horrible sir , they have taken out 75% ARGH! You don't say "75%", you say, "seventy-five percent"! of the troops and 1 of them is hoovering Oh, so now Ryoko is a vacuum cleaner? above the facility. What she's building energy? Stop her AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" "Stop her AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"? I didn't understand that, but O- kay! "COMPUTER RESTABLISH CONTACT" "unable to comply signal destroyed." " I'LL HANDLE THOSE INFIDELS MY SELF." I'm pretty sure there's no space between "my" and "self". In the torture room Zero is being tortured by X. "X I could destroy you right now. I have antimatter charges planted. (Zero)--In my pants! (X) Aw, you really smell, you know that?! Ahhhhh!" X punches him in a place where his armor was cracked. " (Boxing announcer) Ohhh, sucker punch! You could but you would die too , and with Sigma leaving it would be pointless." Zero is starting to give in to the shock treatment. ZAP! "Maybe.. so..but..with his ..force .. destroyed and no ship.. he can't run. Goodbye...Brother.....Washu." Must....keep........talking like.....William........................................................ ...........Shatner...... Zero detonates the charges. KABOOM! The explosion takes out the control room and the power chamber. The explosion also rocks Zero out of his torture contrapment and knocks X to the floor. Sigma in the telportation room feels the shock. "SO HE DETNATED THE CHARGES COMPUTER GET ME OUT OF HERE." (all try to understand the last sentence) Huh? "what about neo x?" Oh, so now my name's not important enough to capitalize? "IS HE STILL UNDER MY CONTROL?" "no the blast knocked the s-chip out" Time to die! Tenchi draws his sword " So you're Sigma ,well its all over . You don't have any troops to back you up." Sigma laughs " I DON'T NEED TROOPS TO FINISH YOU OFF. I KILLED ZERO AND X MY GREATEST COMPITITON AND YOU ARE NEXT" Washu flares with anger . "You killed him !!! How can I ever repay you?! HEY! " She uses her keyboard to change her into fighting gear So, she turns herself into a sword and shield? and get even. She attacks Sigma using various fighting styles. (Washu) HA! I have been training in the ways of Anything-Goes Martial Arts! Everyone is amased I think he meant "amazed". to see Washu fight. Sigma blocks and counter attacks. Back in the ship X picks himself off the floor and looks for Zero. He finds him on the floor motionless "Zero!!!!! Wake up we gotta get out of here." X turns Zero on his back. "Say Zero you're bleeding how is that possible?" (Zero) Duh, I don't know..... Zero painfully explains "So I finally got through to you. If you must know while on Earth I got an upgrade that made me human. If we get out of here alive I'll make sure you get it too" I must not have been in a lot of pain to say all that. X picks Zero up and puts Zero's arm around his neck. --And then Zero tightens his arm, breaking X's neck. "Come on Zero the teleporter room is just down the hall." They make it to the corridor to find it on fire and falling apart. Zero is trying to speak "X.... just ...leave ..me...I'm slowing you down." (Zero) Yes....I've been....infected........with the.......William Shatner..........virus.......... X pays no mind to him and continues to carry Zero down the corridor. "Computer is the teleport room still operational" "YES" "How long till this hunk of junk blows up completly?" "20 minutes" "Then we better hurry." That must be a damn big ship if they have to hurry with twenty minutes to spare. Back on Earth. Sigma and Washu are still battling it out. Nether one has landed a blow. Okay, this spelling is really getting on my nerves. Washu is is getting pumped. " Ok time for my Washu Surprise." She comes toward Sigma takes a hop back and an energy ball surounds her right foot. She kicks him with it. Sigma is slamed through a tree. Whatever the hell "slamed" means. She kicks at him again and the energy ball comes off and slams into Sigma. "Had ..huff. enough...huff .cromedome" HEY! I take offense to that! Sigma get up and wipes the dirt off him. "If that's the best you have you should give up now." Ryoko screams " Thats it I've had it. Everybody all at once." The group attacks Sigma all at once. Sigma's speed is too much for them and all of their attacks miss. Sigma was NEVER as powerful as this. Sigma powers up his blaster and blasts Ryoko. She flies through the air and comes down on the roof of the house. She then rolls off and falls to the ground. Tenchi comes at him with sword above his head. With super quickness BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hoo, that was funny. "Super quickness"? It's supposed to be "super speed", or something like that. Sigma loges I have NO idea what that means. his fist into Tenchi's stomache. And I'm pretty sure there's no E in "stomach". Tenchi drops his sword and falls to the ground. Ayeka uses her power logs P-P-Power....Logs?........BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHA, Ohhh. They're called mini-guardians, buddy. to suround Sigma. They start shocking him. ZAP! Sigma releases a great amount of energy around his body destroying the logs. Okay, this is NOTHING like the Sigma we know. I bet my Z-Buster that we're going to be the only ones that can stop them. He nails Ayeka with a left hook that sends her flying through a wall of the house. Sigma looks at Washu "Seems it's down to you and me again!" Basically, he just said all that extra battle stuff was irrelevant. In space X and Zero finally make it to the teleport room. X puts Zero on the teleport strip. "All that's left is to enter the code and...ahhh!!" The controls fry X. (X) PAIN! "Teleportation is locked on Sigma's orders." X hits the control pannel. A new and improved version of--*BLAM* Ouch. That'll teach you not to beat a joke to death. "How do we get out now, Zero I need your help" He seems to have found one of the last surviving commas, but I guess there were no other punctuations near it. Zero takes out his teleportation device "I don't have enough energy to use it." X puts it on " But I do ,here we go Zero back to Earth" Activating teleporter now. X is teleported off the ship. Zero laying down smiles "It can only teleport 1 person." "ship destruction in 10.... 9....8.....7....6....5....4....3....2....1" Three, two, one, CONTACT! The ship explodes. POP! X is finds himself inside the Masaki home. "Nooooo!! He knew it only teleported 1 person. How could he?" Tears come from X's eyes. He hears the fighting outside. He powers up his blaster to maximum power and heads out. Sigma has just finished off Washu. I would just teleport a freakin' building on his head and get it over with! "I HAVE WON NO ONE CAN BEAT ME." He seems to have killed off the rest of the commas. A pity, they were such good punctuations. X steps out "I CAN!!!!!" X lets all off his energy out in a single blast. Sigma is destroyed by the blast. HA! I knew it! Wow, I didn't know I could do that, did you, Zero? X goes to check on Washu. " X you're alive. So where is Zero?" X turns away " I'm..huff sorry..huff.. he was banged up pretty badly and didn't have enough energy to use the teleportation device. I guess he doesn't want the wrath of Washu brought upon him. What do you mean by that? Did you see a word in that dialogue saying that most of the damage was caused by X? You're right! He gave it to me and I thought it would get us both home but he knew it wouldn't I'm sorry." Washu gets up "It's ok" Tears wells up in her eyes as X goes to cheak on the others. Ouch, that one hurt. How can you possibly spell "check" wrong? A couple of days later in the Masaki house The whole family is sitting at the table eating except Washu. Tenchi starts the conversation " That way one tough fight." I hope he meant "was" not "way", or else Tenchi has gone crazy. (Tenchi as Homer Simpson) No beer or TV make Tenchi go CRAZY! Ayeka agrees " That Sigma was super strong." (Sarcastically) Gee, you think he could've beaten you that badly if he wasn't? Ryoko interupts He misspelled "interrupts". "We would have lost if X hadn't come, we would have been toast." I like mine with butter! X who has been adjusting to human life is silent " I wish Zero had come instead of me. I know that I can never be forgiven expecially by Washu." Oh, so he did tell her. And probabll had the crap beaten outof him, but I guess the author didn't want to torture us with the details. Yosho consoles him " Don't beat yourself up. She is just in her lab greiving for the last couple of days. This family is in debt to you for saving us." Just then Washu comes up from her lab. All is silent. (Crickets) CHIRP, CHIRP..... X walks over to her and brings her to the table "Miss Washu I am just so sorry I couldn't save him." Washu cracks a smile " You could help being controled. I could? Besides Zero probably thinks that as a crowning achievement being able to save his brother." Suddenly the lights go out and a cold wind blows in from an open window. Now THERE'S the trademark "Batman entrance"! Tenchi gets up to shut the window. As soon as the window is closed the lights come back on. Sasami asks "What was that all about?" Washu answers "Probably just the wind hitting a power line or something. I'll check the lab scanners." She heads into the lab. She boots up her main computer only to see something on the table. It was Zero's sword GODDAMMIT, IT'S A SABER! Aren't they the same thing? NO!!! ^__^; Okay, okay! with a note attached to it!! It reads "Be seeing you soon" - Zero. Washu cries tears of joy as she turns around to see Zero. " But how did you..." WHO CARES?! Zero cuts her off "Does it even matter?" She jumps into his arms for a long passionate kiss. He would eventually tell them all about his escape but for now he happy to be in the arms of the one he loved. END HALLELUJAH! EPILOGUE CRAP! (Reduced Shakespeare and Co., singing, with air guitar) EPILOGUE! And Romeo, and Juliet are deeEEEAD! WOO! O__o; (Plugging RSC) Buy a copy of The Reduced Shakespeare Company, and learn what real humor is! 5 days later after the destruction of Sigma the family finally finds out how Zero got out. "So dear brother how did you get out" X asked. Dammit, I'm not his brother! In fact, we were created by two completely opposite people! The whole family wanted to know. Come to the living room and I'll tell you. They all head for the living room. Ryoko phases through the wall. Tenchi and Ayeka run into the room.Sasami and Ryo-Ohki were already there, Yosho and Washu walk in. And Zero and X walk in wearing two good looking suits. Great, now we're suits. (Looking at readers) If you know ANYTHING about the Mafia, then you know what he's talking about. Zero sits next to Washu. "So you ready to hear it?" Everyone screams "Yes!!" Hey, he actually used proper punctuation! "OK then, this is what happened. As I lay there my worthless life passed before my eyes. Geez, that was harsh. My birth with Dr.Light , WHAAAAAT?! I'm taking a wild guess here, but I don't think this guy has played any of the X games except number one. And that one only explained how X was created. Yeah, who doesn't know that Dr. Wily created me? There were numerous hints dropped in each game! I mean, it shows his silhouette laughing at me in X four! And I even have a W in my helmet gem, see? (Shows W to everyone) (Amazed) Ooooooooooo...... my time working for Sigma , being fixed by Dr. Cain and my time here on this Earth. Then I heard a familiar voice. It said " Get up Zero your time isn't up yet!" I looked around and saw Dr. Cain standing before me! He's officially lost it. I thought I was losing it. See? But when he picked me up and carried me into one of those capsules Dr. Light had made They're called Armor Capsules. I knew I hadn't lost it. Once inside the capsule we were transported to my original dimension of Earth. Once inside his lab he repaired my armor and I told him about my upgrade and he was surprised. What a run-on! He said that Dr. Light would be so proud of me. Or Dr. Wily, whomever you prefer. After my armor was fixed I changed into my human form and he put me in the healing tank. A couple of hours later I was back on top of the world. (Jack) I'm king of the world! The doc directed me to one of the capsules and it brought me back here." Everyone agreed it was quite a story. More like a crock of shit, to me. I'm warning you, watch your mouth! "Oh yeah before I forget Washu I told him about you and he gave me a gift for you." Washu looks shocked "Oh what can it be. A death ray a new more powerful metal?" RUN-ON! Zero reaches in his pocket and pulls out a key. Washu falls back. I HOPE he meant I did a facefault. "A key is what you brought back how unscientific." Now THAT'S something I would say. Zero smiles "Not just any key but a key that can take you anywhere, granted you've been there before. All you do is stick it into any key hole think of the place you want to be open the door and your there." Wow, and here I thought Dr. Cain was just a stupid old geezer nly good for repairing me. Apparently, he's smarter than Washu. HEY! Washu looks at the key with different eyes now " Wow not even I the greatest scientific genius in the universe couldn't have made something like this." Zero laughs " Maybe you're not the greatest....." (Face turns red, starts breathing fire) WHAT?! ^__^; EEK! Washu turns her head slowly to face Zero "What did you say?" Zero with a nervous smile "Nothing of importance" Great, now I sound like a nerd. Washu smiling "Good because if you had said I wasn't the greatest scientific genius in the universe I'd have to experiment on you. Isn't that right Tenchi?" Tenchi gulps "Yeah" but he thinks "Why'd she put me into this." Washu gets up "So who wants to try the key out." Zero thinks "Knowing her she'll but us into some comet or star to see how long we can last." I'm not touching that one. Zero gets up "Well I gotta go to work .Bye" X gets up too "Zero said he'd help me look for a job uh bye" ARGH! Doesn't this person know what a comma is?! Both scramble to get out of the house. Washu grins ear to ear now. " Well that just leaves you 4" Pointing to Sasami, Ryoko, Ayeka and Tenchi. They looked shocked. PIKA-CHUUUU! *BLAMBLAMBLAM* OW. (Blowing smoke away freom J-Buster) I thought I told you, no Pokemon references! Tenchi tries to persuade her out of it but to no avail. "Oh come on we're just going to places I've been no where dangerous." Knowing her, she'll probably drop them on Catachan. What's that? It's the deadliest deathworld in the universe. You touch ANYTHING moving there, they'll bite your head off or poison you. Ewwww. JS, you know what that place is? Yup. Got the Catachan's Codex right here! (Holds up a book) ^__^; Uh-huh. She drags all four of them to the door "Here we go" She uses the key opens the door and throws the gang in. "You guys tell me what you find I'll be back in an hour" was the last words she said before she closed the door taking the key out. "WASHU DON'T LEAVE US IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jesus, that's a lot of exclamation points. A little distance away a lone figure in the shadows chuckles, " Play now Zero, but in the begining there were 7 and in the end there was only one." I did not understand that at all, did you guys? (Nobody raises their hand) SO WHAT DID YOU THINK? EMAIL ME AT MSHOWMONEY@AOL.COM SHOW ME THE MONEY! --------All exit the theater-------- So, what'd you guys think? Blechhh. I married Zero. Blechhh. I married Washu. ^__^; Yes, well, besides that, what did you think of it? It was kind of good. I give it a four out of ten. But this guy really needs to learn a little bit more about me. The story was good, but there were some plot holes. I'd say....six out of ten. I didn't like it one bit! One out of ten! I kinda figured you'd say that, seeing as you were the bad guy in the story. Nothing really stood out to me, but nothing really was bad, either. five out of ten. I liked it. I'd give it a seven out of ten. I especially liked the part where Washu said BOOBS! *KLONG* OW! (Putting hammer away) You were just ASKING for that one. The plot was a good one, having the hero become the villain, but it wasn't THAT good. Three out of ten. And, as for me, this is what I thought. The spelling was bad, the punctuation was horrible, the un-ons were annoying, and the lack of knowledge of Zero was painful. Looking beyond that, it was a somewhat good story. Four out of ten. Well, with that one finished, who wants to play me to a game of Twisted Metal four? I'll grill your ass! Bring it on, sissy boy! The End This was a good story, but lousy when it comes to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. I think that, with a little more thought put into it, the author could make it a really good fic. And he should also use a spellcheck.