MST of: Tenchi's Bride I don't own any of the characters that I use in the MST, they belong to their respective companies. These are the tales of the unspeakable horrors that my MST group are forced through. ( and ) indicate actions [Inside a large starship] Hey everybody, I'm Jamie Sherman, but you can call me JS for short. I have been stranded on this battlecruiser for days, and have been receiving many weird messages from this crazy doctor person. Hey, here's another one now! -----Incoming Transmission----- Hello JS, how are you? Miserable, I hope! Well, I have just decided to make you an MSTer! What exactly is an MSTer? Basically, I send you bad fanfiction, and you make fun of them. Doesn't sound too hard, how long do I have to do it for? FOREVER!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*cough*HAHA*hack*HA!!!!! WHAT?!? No thanks, buddy, I have a normal life, obviously unlike you. You think you have a choice in the matter? If you try to escape, I will destroy that ship you're on! Wait, so I have to do this alone? Man, this sucks! No, you don't have to do it alone, you may have 5 companions to help you. Wily out. OK, whatever. I guess the first person I will choose will be........Megaman X!! ( X appears) DIE, SIGMA!!! Huh? Where the hell am I? you are on the Terran Battlecruiser Norad III. I have chosen you to help me MST bad fanfiction. What's a fanfiction? I'll explain it later. On to the next victim......I mean MSTer! I choose.........Meis Triumph!(Meis appears) I love you too, Sodina!........Sodina? Hey! (grabs JS) What did you do to Sodina? I haven't done anything to her! I just brought you here so you could help me MST bad fanfiction! Well, as long as you bring a girl here too, I'll be happy. Fine, fine. For my next MSTer, I choose Samus Aran! (Samus appears still in her power suit) Where am I? One minute, I'm smack dab in the middle of Norfair, the next, I'm on some sort of starship! (points at JS) Who are you, and how did I get here? I will explain all in a little while. Hey! I thought you said you would bring a girl in here! That's not a girl!(Samus aims her arm cannon at him) What did you just say?(takes off her helmet) Whoa! It IS a girl! Hominahominahomina! Down boy! Well, let's continue, shall we? For the next contestant, I choose.........Washu Habiki!(you know the drill) Where am I? Oh, no, not another MST group! I'm afraid so, Washu. (aims a very LARGE lascannon at JS's head)That's LITTLE WASHU!!!!! ^__^; EEP! Okay, okay, LITTLE Washu. Well, for the last member of the team, I choose........Captain Invictus, of the Ultramarines First Company!(Invictus appears) Where in the Imperium am I? You are on my MSTing ship, Norad III. MSTing ship? What's that? I will explain all, when everyone is here.........wait, everyone IS here! OK! As Little Washu already knows, we are here to MST bad fanfiction. Yeah, yeah. Yuo do not have to worry about your respective worlds, because, as the laws of MSTing state, they are frozen until you get back. Where in the galaxy are we though? I do not recognize this area. We are in orbit around Saturn. Okay, it's just that I have never been to the Terran solar system. well, with that said, let's get on to the MST. -----Incoming Transmission----- Well, I see you have picked your crew members. Your first MST will be......Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi!(Washu breaks down crying) What's wrong, Litlle Washu? Oh, nothing, except that TOAPOS is probably the most disgusting, retarded, worthless peice of crap that someone could ever come up with. Well, if it can make Little Washu cry, that's something to be afraid of. Let's just see how bad it is. -----all enter the theater----- Why is there a movie theater inside a battleship? I dunno, I never asked. Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi *Sob* By The Super Retarded Kid from Seanbaby's website, Alienboy 52 Well, at least he knows that he's a retard. and what happened to the other 51 Alienboys? SHUT UP!! you want us to get into trouble with the other MSTing groups? Besides, that one has been done to death. Disclaimer: This fic is about Tenchi Muyo in my fucked up world so yeah, it's fucked up. This is NOT good. Most of it is sick and probably sucks because I'm writing it. It's a good thing he knows that it sucks, but it's a bad thing when he posts it anyway. If you don't know I have real sick fantasies so if your not 18+ don't read this. How old are you, X? I'm 17. I am about 35, including my reliability training. Women never tell their ages. But unfortunately, I am over 18. I am around 325 years old. And I am about 20,000+ (everyone looks at her in disbelief) Well, I AM a goddess you know! Well, since I am under age, I guess I have to leave. SIT DOWN! Any attempts at escape and I will destroy the ship! (sits back down, grumbling) Yeah and I don't own these characters, but Pioneer and AIC do. And if I did own these characters though, I probably wouldn't be writing a sick fanfic would I? --- "Tenchi, you are a loser!" taunted a menacing voice. (to menacing voice) How long did it take you to figure that out? "Huh? What the fuck! Where am I?" said Tenchi as he looked around at unfamiliar surroundings. (as Power Ranger) IT'S OUT OF CHARACTER TIME!!!! dum dum dum dum dum dum........ "You are on a plate of sashimi," said the voice. (Mortal Kombat) It has begun........ "Okay then..." Tenchi said as his voice trailed off. Does this part have any point at all? At that moment Tenchi heard a familiar voice. "Oh Tenchi! Wake up my Tenchi!" I bet a thousand Imperial credits it's Ryoko. I'm not taking that bet, because I know you're right. --- Tenchi woke up from his sleep to see Ryoko hovering over him, I knew it! Typical. but something was wrong with Ryoko today. She was wearing clothes for once? She had gotten a breast reduction? She was having hot passionate lesbian sex with Aeka?(gets THWACKED by Samus) You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that actually happened, it happens often enough in other lemons. That's when Tenchi noticed it, Ryoko's eye was missing. Geez, her face is usually right above his when he wakes up. It took him that long to notice? "Ryoko! Your eye! It's missing!" gasped Tenchi. Duhhhhh........ "Of course it is! Don't you know! Since the animators never gave me a cunt, Really? Thats not what I've seen! *WA-BAM* (retracting her fist) Stupid hentai. I have to use the next best thing instead," explained Ryoko. Um, perish the thought, but what about her butt? "But couldn't you have used your, uh, butt instead of your eye socket?" asked Tenchi. Yeah! why didn't you? Ok, before he swore without a second thought, now he says 'butt' instead of ass? Ewwwwwww. Anal sex. Gross. "Washu plugged my ass up with butt plugs, so I'm left with my eye socket. I would NEVER do that! Especially to my own daughter! Well? How'bout it Tenchi? Wanna fuck my eye socket?" asked Ryoko. By the Emperor! Is that even possible? with the size of Tenchi's Schlort, maybe. Schlort? What's that? Schlort instead of Schlong. Ohhhh.....That's absolutely disgusting! "Stop right there you monster!+ Ten to one it's Aeka. And what's a plus sign doing there instead of quotation marks? You will not have the pleasure of having Tenchi up your eye socket!" yelled Ayeka as she busted into Tenchi's room. I knew it! I guess she would argue about anything, no matter how disgusting it was. "Hey! What happened to the security on Tenchi's door?" asked Ryoko. "Azaka and Kamadake were horny, so I let them have sex with it," answered Ayeka. That made absolutely no sense. Azaka and Kamidake are just floating logs! They don't even have any equipment! "Hey! What's going on here! This is fucked up! How can logs have sex with a security system?!" yelled out Tenchi. Exactly what we would like to know. "Because you are on a plate of sashimi Tenchi. Well, that just about explains everything, doesn't it? No. You will now see the one you desire most enter your room now," said the unknown voice. Well, since Aeka and Ryoko are already in there, it must be either Washu, Mihoshi, Kiyone, or *shudder* Sasami. If this guy says Sasami, I am going to hunt him down and KILL HIM! And at that moment Noboyuki entered the room. (Throws up) Oh my GOD!!!! BLEEEAAAARGH!! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!!!! EEP! I can just guess what's next, and I am glad that I am not human. Otherwise I would probably be puking my brains out. Tenchi gazed at his father, Tenchi couldn't stop himself from getting an erection from looking at his father. (charging arm cannon) I bet I could help stop him! (cross their legs) Noboyuki stared back at Tenchi and blushed, it was obvious that Noboyuki wanted Tenchi. Now, doesn't Noboyuki have a library of hentai hidden somewhere in his room? And isn't he always trying to sneak a peek at the girls any chance he gets? Well, maybe he gave up on women after all the savage beatings we've given him for trying to record us bathing. "Father, please, give it to me up the ass," said Tenchi, trying to sound as seductive as he could to his father. Oh crap, gay sex. (turns green) I knew this was coming! Good thing I don't get nausea! X, you lucky bastard. "Tenchi! You have given me a huge erection, (as Noboyuki) And I don't want it, so take it back! and Ryoko's eye socket is just amazing too," said Noboyuki, "Hey Ryoko? Would you mind if I used the blood from your eye socket to lubricate my penis?" (Ryoko) Yes, I would mind very much! I am not interested in a hentai like you! "Of course, you are Tenchi's dad after all," said Ryoko. Okay, maybe she is. Trust me, it gets worse. And remember, it's just a fic. It doesn't affect anything, except maybe our stomachs. "Please! Use my eye instead! Jurai blood is better than that demon's blood any day!" said Ayeka as she pushed Ryoko out of the way. Geez, I guess she really DOES like to argue with Ryoko, even if it is over something as horrible as this! "Hmmm... Tenchi, I'm going to use Ryoko's eye socket, you should go to Ayeka and puncture her eye with your penis. (singing) POP goe the eyeball! (being held back by JS, Invictus and X) I'M GONNA KILL'EM! LET ME GO! That way we'll have twice as much lubricant," said Noboyuki as he grabbed Ryoko's head and pushed his penis into Ryoko's eye socket. (throw up) BAAARRRFF!! Is doing that painful? (weakly) Yes..... "Tenchi, please, puncture my eye with your penis, I want to feel the pleasure that you can only get when you are fucked in the eye," said Ayeka. Pleasure?!? (Dr. Evil) Riiiiiiiight. "Are you sure about this Ayeka? I mean, I've heard stories of women who've lost their eye for the first time, and they all say that it's very painful," asked Tenchi. "Yes, I'm sure, I've wanted it like this even since the first time I laid eyes on you," said Ayeka. I've always wondered if that pun was intended or not. "But you kicked me off your bed... When did that happen? Many authors forget to put unimportant things in early on, then say something about it that leaves the reader clueless. Although, if you read this fic when it wasn't being MSTed, you are one SIIIIICK puppy. oh well, never mind," said Tenchi as he put his penis in front of Ayeka's eye. Tenchi quickly punctured Ayeka's eye, and entered her socket. BZAAAP!!! Old joke. He could feel Ayeka's brain with his penis, the pleasure was just too much for him. Tenchi shot his semen onto Ayeka's brain. I wonder what was going through her mind when he was doing that? Tenchi's semen. (has the living crap beaten out of him by the other MSTers) OUCHIES! As Tenchi regained his composure he noticed that Ayeka was on the floor. She was wriggling like crazy due to the fact that she had just had her brain hit by Tenchi's penis. And if you turn her this way, she kinda looks like roadki....(Samus uses her hand to cover JS's mouth) You really want to get into trouble, don't you? I'm a baaaaad widdle boy. "Tenchi! You haven't forgotten about me have you?" said Noboyuki. I wish he would. "Of course not dad! Here, let me spread my ass out for you so you can enter me," said Tenchi as he spread out his ass. Hey look, he's being repetitive by repeating things! Now YOU'RE becoming repetitive. Aw crap! Tenchi wasn't prepared for what happened next. Mihoshi walked in with a nuke and blew them all to kingdom come, The End! Bitter, are we? Like an underripe Granny Smith. Noboyuki entered Tenchi quickly and started pumping his penis in and out of his sons anus. (turning various shades of green) How descriptive..... "Oh yeah dad! You like that don't you! (as Noboyuki) NO! Come on fuck your son! No, please don't. Your nothing more than a pig are you?" Tenchi yelled to his dad. SUUWEEEEEEE!!!! couldn't resist it, could you? And he misspelled you're. "Oh yes Tenchi! You're so tight, I think I'm gonna cum in your ass!" yelled Noboyuki as he fucked his son. (bored AND disgusted) yaaaaaaay. "Tell me dad! Who's a better fuck? Me or mom? Tell me or you can't cum in me!" yelled Tenchi. Wow, what a reward. "You are Tenchi! Your so much tighter than she was!" Exactly what is so much tighter? I AM TYPO MAN!!!! I search high and low for typos in fanfiction, then point them out so that the reader can laugh at the author! AHAHAHAHAHA! (whispers to Samus) I think he's lost it. (whispers back to Invictus) What makes you think he ever had it in the first place? answered Noboyuki, "Oh Tenchi! I'm cumming!" (Noboyuki) or was I going? yelled Noboyuki as he came into his sons ass. "Oh dad, that was so great, we have to do that more often," said Tenchi. NO, YOU DON'T!!!! "Let's go downstairs to see what Sasami cooked for breakfast," said Noboyuki. Knowing this fic, it's probably a body part. "Okay, let's go." ----To hell. --- "Wow Sasami! That smells great what is it?" asked Tenchi. "Don't call me Sasami! I'm getting my name changed to Susami!" yelled Sasami/Susami. HOO BOY. PLEASE don't make a reference to that fic! What is it? some person made a fic where he insisted that SASAMI's name was spelled with a "U". Washu's name is spelled with one "U", Dammit! I walked right into that one. "So what did you cook?" asked Tenchi. It's probably her leg or something. "I cooked my leg, that's why my leg is amputated now," said Sasami/Susami. (everyone looks nervously at JS, who is sitting there dumbfounded.) You've seen this fic before, haven't you? Oh, boy. Somebody hit me HARD. I am beginning to think like the author. (everyone starts to beat him, shoot him, zap him, Etc.) AND it's redundant! "Tenchi! You are a loser! You are on a plate of Sashimi," said the voice. He already said that! (Bruised, broken, and charred) Calm down, we all know this fic doesn't make sense. Tenchi suddenly got dizzy as he heard those words. After a few seconds Tenchi fell to the ground Thereby striking his head on a sharp object and ending the fic. and passed out. Oh. --- Tenchi awoke to only find himself, sleeping on a plate of Sashimi. Thta's one bigass plate of sashimi! "Well I guess that must have been a dream then, Dad was so good too," Tenchi thought aloud. Then Ryoko heard him, and blasted him to smithereens for being incestuous. "Hey Tenchi! Look what I got!" yelled Noboyuki. "What is it dad?" ( Noboyuki) a club to kill you with, so that you won't have to suffer in this fic anymore! "I got Ryo-Oh-Ki's eye socket!" AAAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!! --- End HALLELUJAH! I made this fanfic mainly because I wanted to make something that would make normal hentai's puke. You succeeded in doing that, for sure. Of course if you weren't disgusted by this fanfic, Trust us, we were disgusted. then you qualify for being more hentai than me, because I'm disgusted at what I wrote. Actually now that I think of it, this fanfic really sucked. You only just figured that out? He's just a teeeeeensy bit slow on the uptake, methinks. Oh yeah 1st fanfic ever too, that's why this one sucks. Great, he's using numbers instead of words. Why not try to convert me at alienboy52@hotmail.com I don't know about you guys, but I would NOT want him in my religion, would you? (all shake their heads vigorously) Or you can go to the best website around http://www.seanbaby.com Seanbaby is just so sexy, I want to be like him someday. (Dr. Evil) Riiiiiight. You already did that! I know, but I still think it's funny. -------all exit the theater------- Although I already know what you are going to say, what are your opinions? It sucked BIG TIME. Daddy make the bad man stop!!!! I have seen the deformed minions of CHAOS, the disgusting Tyranids, and the evil Hrud, and they are like a flea on a dog compared to this vile piece of filth. Um, what he said. I am shocked and appalled! Yeah, thats what I thought you guys would say. And I couldn't agree with you more. Personally, anyone who is like this guy, INCLUDING this guy, should be shot. We all agree with you on that one. Yeah, HE WILL BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Um, X, maybe you should take some time off and go kill something in your own dimension, rather than us. (teleports X back to his dimension) Well, that seems to be the end of that. -----incoming transmission----- Hello, my torturees, how did you like the fic? As soon as I get out, I am going to find you, and believe me, you do NOT want that. Well then, I guess you'll just have to stay there, now won't you? Oh, F$@#ing S#!+!!!!!! HEY! Watch your language! And so ends my first MST. How did you like it? Send all comments to: Pepper4099@aol.com