(NOTE:This is my first fan-fiction. If you continue to read, please bear with me. Thank you, and enjoy) If you see some ***, I am making a reference to an episode of the Telivision series. If you see some dialogue wrpped in <>? Then the writer is entered into the scene. NO NEED FOR A PLOT! The sun is setting in the west, casting an array of colors across the sky. As the sun drops deeper beneath the horizon, shadows overcome the carrot garden where we find our hero, Tenchi, and of course, Ryo-ohki, finishing a hard day of work. "Let's go, Ryo-chan!" says Tenchi, just starting to pick up his basket of carrots. "MEOW!!!" says Ryo-ohki, "MEOW MEOW, MEOW!!!" Ryo-ohki picks up her miniature basket of carrots, and begins to follow Tenchi. "Did you have fun today, Ryo-ohki?" "MEOW!!!" "That's good. You worked really hard today. You deserve a big bowl of carrot stew!" "MEOW, MEOW" Just then, a eerie light is shed upon the shadows. Tenchi pivots and searches for the source of the light. The light seems to come from all directions......then only one. "C'mon Ryo-chan!" Tenchi says as he begins to run in the direction of the light. "MEOW!" Ryo-ohki says in a panicked voice. As they run, they dodge the bracnches and roots of the surrounding trees. As Tenchi emerges from the greenery, he is blinded by a strange light. He squints, trying to see through the gleam, and sees.......a funny old man with a flashlight! "Oh-ho!" says the funny old man, peering through his coke bottle bifocals, "So you're the voices I heard!" "Who are you?" asks Tenchi. "I'm an old man, what do I look like, a rabbit?" "No, you look like an old man..." "That's because I am one! You're it!!!" He taps Tenchi on the shoulder and runs off at a an unusually fast pace. "How quickly he runs!" ***AYEKA, EPISODE 2, OVA #1*** "Did I hear Ayeka?" asks Tenchi. "MEOW, MEOW, MEOW???" "Nevermind, let's find the old man! The chase begins again. Tenchi and Ryo-chan search frantically for the old man. Tenchi, out of breath, sits down on the ground in a semi-clearing in the woods. "You'll never find me..." says the old man. Tenchi jumps to his feet, and looks straight up, where the old man is hanging by his knees from a tree. "You gave yourself away old man!" "That's what you think..." He swings off the tree, and disappears in to nowhere. "What the hell? That really sucks." "Yes...It does...." The old man pops out of a bush. "That doesn't make any sense!" "Who says this Fan-Fic has to make any sense?" says the old man. "I do!" says the old man popping out of another bush, on the other side of the clearing. (Yes, there's two now) "Me too!" says yet another old man. Tenchi looks on in bewilderment. Ryo-chan is oblivious to everything as she happily munches on a carrot. <"How many of you are there?"> "We don't know, it's your fan-fic..." <"Okay.......eight!"> Five old men pop out one by one numbering themselves off, "4, 5, 6, 7, 8!" <"....How about nine?"> Another old man pops out, "9!" <"Nevermind...that's too many."> "Wait a minute, I'm necessary to the plot!" He is gone in a puff of smoke. <"That'll teach you to think you're impoertant to the plot....there is no plot!"> "That was our line!" said the 8 old men in unison. <"That's what you think... I'm the writer!"> "Oh, manevolent writer! Thank You for this wonderful Fan-fic of nosensical gibberish," says Tenchi, bowing down in awe. Sudennly the 8 old men begin chanting: "Brown nose, Brown nose" <"You don't have to suck up... you're the star! And you old men....Shut UP!!!!!"> A cricket chirps. <"That's too quiet!"> Sound returns to normal. <"That's better. Anywho....where were we?"> One of the old me says, "We had just popped out of the bushes." Another old man, "Don't think you're important..." The "helpful" old man disappears in a puff of smoke. Tenchi asks, "Which one of you is real?" Each old man points to them self. All but one..."I've always been a loner...." He disappears in a puff of smoke. "Why are you all here?" "I was lonely..." He disappears in a puff of smoke. <"Now there's only 5? You guys are dropping like flies!"> The crowd of old men gives answers like: "He told me there was gonna be pie." or "I'm here caus he's here" or "I wanted to be important" or "I dunno, I'm not the writer.." <"Don't try pass this on as my fault, It was my strange friend'd idea!"> <> <> "Okay, I'll ask you one more time...or I'll kill all of you...Which one is the real one?" asks Tenchi. Four of the old men point towards the one remaining. Then... they disappear in a puff of smoke. The one remaining says, "We're all real!" then... he disappears in a puff of smoke. "This is too screwed up for mere mortals to understand...I'm going home." says tenchi as he finds his way back to the carrot garden. "MEOW" says Ryo-chan still completely oblivious while finishing off her carrot. "Let's go home Ryo-chan" "MEOW, MEOW" Tenchi stopped every few minutes, all the way home, looking at some figure that looked like the old man. The whole time he was thinking: I never got him. I'm still it! At the gates to the house, Tenchi and Ryo-chan were met by Azaka, Kamidake, Ayeka, Ryoko, and....The old Man!!! <"Oh, wait...My bad... I was just imagining things."> Anywho... Ayeka gives a dainty bow to tenchi and kindly says, "Welcome home Tenchi, How was your day?" But, all this was drowned out by Ryoko appearing and screaming, "Hi TENCHI!" and Hugging around his neck almost choking him. Tenchi was hardly able to mumble, "LET GO RYOKO!!!" Ayeka runs over and grabs Tenchi away from Ryoko saying, "Leave Tenchi alone!" Ryoko grabs him back and exclaims, "He's Mine!" "MINE!" "MINE!" "MINE!" said a mysterious voice from behind a tree. Ayeka an Tenchi look to see an old man waving at them, and disappearing in a puff of smoke just as Ryoko looks over. "Who said that?" asked Ryoko. "That old man who was just over there..." "What old man? Oh, well..." THE END (OF THIS EVIL STORY FOR NOW BUT THERE WILL BE MORE. SOON. VERY SOON.) (EVIL CLAP OF THUNDER) <> all of the people at the masaki household looked around in search of the mysterous voice who claimed to be the writer. "I thaught this fic was over." said ryoko. meanwhile the old man poped out of a nearby bush and cassualy walked up to the small crowd and said "me too" <> <> <"what make you think that YOU a lowly... friend of the writer AND fan-fic stealer could ever stand up to me the orignal writer? the only reason you even were able to steal this fic was because of the fact that I went to the bathroom and to get a snack."> <> <"maby so but I can still stop you from writing anything"> <<"we'll see about that" with an evil grin he looked at the old writer and yelled "security!!!">> <<< at that moment shampoo, ukyo, and akane burst into the room and beat up the old writer then left>>> <"uhg! you did make some changes but that woln't stop me"> << "wait a moment, the best is yet to come" at that moment a giant purple foot with a nike emblim on the bottem crashed through the roof>> <"good god! is that EVA unit 1!?"> <> <"ok fine I CAN'T defeat you but why don't we co-write this story?"> <<"co-write? hmmmmm... let me think about that for a sec..." as he sits there visions if dancing bannas and singing cats fills his head with the ocasinal shiny sphere that tells him to obeay his thitst by drinking a sprite in a gas staion bathroom in toronto>> <<"oh... um... sure why not" and so the unholly alignce was born>> ":what just happnened?"tenchi asked "I have no idea" said ryoko they all stood around looking bewildered untill the chapeter finished "is it over yet" asked tenchi <<"yes it is now go to sleep">> "k, night" "can I have a cookie?" <<"no, you know you you can't sleep for at least an hour after you eat a cookie">> "pleese" <<"no">> "comon" <<"no">> "be youre friend" <<"no">> "aww, your mean" <<"ok fine you can have a cookie. happy now? what you want some milk? ok fine... here... now drink it all down so you grow up to be big and strong, what you don't want to? fine go ahead and have britile bones when your old... se if I care... now go to bed... yes the fic is over, go to bed, every one else did and I can't end this fic untill you are in bed, comon the readers are geting restless... good boy, goodnight>> the end (finnaly) of this evil story (for now) untill next time this is one of your evil writers saying... BWAHAHAHAHHAHHA!!!!!! oxxxxx|[{::::::::::::>Credits to George Gurchinoff: Writer A.K.A. OLD WRITER oxxxxx|[{;;;;;;;;;;;;>Thanks to James Harrison: Writer's strange friend and collaborator A.K.A. NEW WRITER. oxxxxx|[{************>Send comments to: gslll@hotmail.com or anime_fan_93433@yahoo.com