Title: No Need for Top Ten Lists! Description: Three top ten lists: Top Ten Things Sakuya Would Never Say; Top Ten Worst Tenchi Fanfic Ideas; Top Ten Ways Ryo-Ohki Eats Carrots. Genre: Top Ten List Author: rpb3000 (rpb3000@mad.scientist.com) It was late. The moon was shining steadily into the window of the small office on the seventh floor of the DigIt Productions building between the G.A.G and the 5150 Fanfic Productions building. Strange noises could be heard emanating from the 5150 Fanfic Productions building, but the man at the table took no head. rpb3000 was busy furiously writing out new fanfics. He suddenly stopped, and, brushing aside the lock of hair that fell down over his left eye, glanced at the clock. It was 3 AM. He glanced back down at the writing he had been working on. "I just can't think of what goes next!" he grumbled beneath his breath. The noise from the 5150 building wasn't helping him either. "Damn it, Goose! Keep it down over there, would 'ya?" he yelled out the window. "But I'm busy cyber-molesting Lara Cr… erm… I mean working on my next fanfic!" Jake the Goose called back from the 5150 building. "Darn neighbors…" rpb3000 grumbled under his breath as he shut the window. He walked over to the candlelit table and sat back down, reading over his work. "Ack!" he thought, "I need something to overcome this horrible writer's block!" So he began working on something. And you are reading that something now. Disclaimer: Jake the Goose, 5150 Fanfic Productions, the G.A.G., and "I Fell Through a Plot Hole" are all owned by James Zale, probably the greatest comedy-oriented Tenchi fanfic writer alive. I dare ya' to try and prove me wrong. Luna's Attic is owned by Luna Winger. Tenchi and all related characters are owned by Pioneer and AIC. I don't own anybody except for rpb3000, because that is me. James Locxley is owned by James Horton and used in affiliation with DigIt Productions. "At the Carrot Patch" is owned by someone who's name I don't remember. With the exception of "I Fell Through a Plot Hole", all fanfic ideas are mine. If they resemble something that you have done, it is purely coincidental and I probably don't even know about it so please don't get mad. Please don't sue. 'Nuff said. ::James Locxley stumbles into the room, and the door closes behind him. A snickering is heard in the hallway…:: James: Hey! What am I doing here? rpb3000: You're running the show now, because I'm tired. James: Wait! What am I supposed to do? rpb3000: Do some top ten lists or something. Keep them entertained while I work off this writer's block. I don't really care what. James: Top ten lists? Over what? rpb3000: I don't care! Good night! ::rpb3000 waves a peace sign as he walks out of the room. James Locxley sits down in front of the paper, wondering what he's gotten himself into this time.:: James: Well, without further ado, I say it's time. On with the fic! Top Ten Things Sakuya Would Never Say 10. Tenchi, I can't meet you at the park, you know how busy my schedule is… 9. Tenchi, can I take a day to meet with those girls who live in your house? 8. Tenchi, I'm sorry, but I'd much rather date your father, Noboyuki. 7. Tenchi… I despise you… 6. Tenchi, May I have the honor of killing Ayeka or Ryoko? 5. Tenchi, I'm sorry, but… I met another… 4. Tenchi, may I use the dimensional tunnel? 3. Tenchi, when are you going to return my calls? 2. Tenchi, let's go to the carrot patch… 1. Tenchi, I'm actually a shadow of an evil being trying to pull you from the others. I hope you don't mind. Top Ten Worst Tenchi Fanfic Ideas 10. Tenchi Asleep: A tale of snores. 9. No Need for Eds!: Tenchi lands in Ed's shoes and is chased by the Canker sisters. 8. Tenchi Gone: The girls finally kick Tenchi out of the house. 7. Tenchi – The Other Lives: Tenchi's past lives revealed! Cave man, king, etc. 6. Tenchi in New York: Tenchi moves to Harlem and learns ebonics… 5. Tenchi's Nightmare: Tenchi has a nightmare where a mutant of all the girls chases him around the shrine. 4. Tenchi's Discovery: Tenchi finds out the truth about Katsuhito, and realizes he already knew! 3. Speed Tenchi: Tenchi drives the famous car Ryo-Ohki in a world-renowned race. 2. Ain't got no Tenchi: Tenchi and the gang as hillbillies, shotgun brawls ensue. 1. I Fell Through a Plot Hole: Plot holes have characters from multiple series show up, frequent out-of-character blurts and a sense of all-out chaos. Top Ten Ways Ryo-Ohki Eats Carrots 10. Raw. 9. Broiled with a hint of lemon. 8. Stewed. 7. Steamed. 6. Fried. 5. With whipped cream. 4. On Sasami's head. 3. While being experimented on by Washu. 2. While running errands for Ayeka. 1. At the Carrot Patch James: Well I guess that's all I can come up with. I'm tired now, so I'm going to bed. ::rpb3000 walks in.:: James: Hey! I thought you were turning in?! rpb3000: Couldn't sleep… Noisy neighbors… James: I see, this means I won't be able to get any sleep either. rpb3000: Well, at least I think I'm over my writer's block… You wanna help me with this M.S.T.? James: Sure, why not? I do believe I've only got 2 hrs of sleep since we moved here anyways, and that was just after Goose took that 4-week vacation to Margaritaville. rpb3000: Yep, looks like another all-nighter. Put on the coffee and let's get to work. Author's notes: Do I have to? Alright, fine. I was inspired to do this when, yes, I developed a writer's block ::cringes:: Anyways, this is my fourth fanfic, submitted before my third (once again, for technical reasons). Hey, I know… Instead of rambling on about stuff no one gives a hoot about, I can do some advertising!!! So come on down to The Abyss (http://rpb.150m.com/). I know there's not much there, but there will be soon. Or head on over to James' place (http://bardlocxley.150m.com/) and leave a message in his guestbook. It'll boost his ego. Also if you have the time, check out Goose's Art Gallery (http://www.geocities.com/jakethegoose2069/fanart) and Luna's Attic (http://www.geocities.com/gdluna98/). Oh, and if you have any comments or compliments, send 'em to rpb3000@mad.scientist.com. And send any flames to telinj4615@clarkstate.cc.oh.us. I'll be sure to respond… If you want to M.S.T. this, well, then email me before you do. This has been a DigIt Production. Can u DigIt?