I don't own or profit from these characters and Bryan Weber didn't help me with 
this.


Negotiations with a fan fic writer
By, Clayton Overstreet


  Tenchi and the others sat at their table in the Toonami lunchroom. 
  "Well I don't think it's fair. The last time he took me Tenchi and I were on a 
date." Ryoko said.
  Aeka grinned. "Well he does have good timing."
  Ryoko growled. "Knock it of princess. Just because Tenchi married me and not 
you... anyway that isn't the point. You have no idea what it's like being forced 
to endure those lemons."
  "Yes we do!" Kiyone, Mihoshi, Aeka, and Washu yelled. 
  Tenchi shook his head. "Well Ryoko has a point. I mean we all get grabbed for 
those things, but Ryoko is taken for way more."
  Washu nodded. "And what's worse I hear that Weber is planning to do the single 
worst fic ever."
  Sasami looked up; "It's not 'At the carrot patch' again is it?" 
  Washu shook her head. "Worse."
  "How could anything be worse than that?" Mihoshi asked.
  Washu shuddered. "Well to give you some idea the title is 'Mayuka gets it.'"
  They all shuddered and Ryoko grabbed onto Tenchi's clothes. "Please, you guys 
have to help me. I mean it's bad enough that Vegita is always there."
  Sasami pet Ryo-oki in her lap and looked up. "Well Tsunami said she'd take 
Ryoko's place for that one and if he does 'When goddesses attack', but she's not 
sure he'll go for it."
  Noboyuki looked around the room at the other anime characters. "Well we could 
try to get some help from some of the others."
  Yosho shook his head. "We tried that, remember? We hired Gene Starwind to go 
in and rescue Ryoko last time, but Weber just bought him off and said he 
wouldn't use them for the MSTs if they just took the money and left. Didn't you 
wonder why they aren't around here any more?"
  Kiyone punched her fist into her hand. "There must be someone we can trust. 
How about that new guy... what's his name? Wears black, hangs out with that 
butler and the pale girl?"
  "Batman?" Mihoshi asked.
  Ryoko shook her head. "No, I know the guy you mean. The one with the giant 
robot... I think he hangs out with those Gundam guys. I've been hanging out with 
that girlfriend of his at the female android club meetings. Hold on a second."
  Ryoko looked over at the Dragonball Z table and yelled out, "Hey 18, who's 
that louse Dorothy is seeing?"
  "The negotiator? I think his name is Roger Smith. He's outside polishing that 
huge robot of his." The blond android yelled back. 
  Ryoko nodded and turned back to her group. "Let's go talk with him."  
  Finishing off their food they put their trays into the slots over the 
trashcans. Walking outside they passed through the anime parking lot. Now it may 
seem like discrimination to keep the anime characters separate from the regular 
cartoon areas, but believe me it was a mutual decision. Quite frankly each group 
creeped the others out. 
  Walking outside Ryoko lead them towards the area where the robots were parked. 
As they walked Tenchi and the others looked up in awe and made comments about 
how cool they were. Ryo-oki meowed indignantly.
  "Yes Ryo-oki, we know you could vaporize the lot of them." Ryoko said. 
  Finally they came to an enormous black robot. Three people could be seen 
polishing the surface in various places. One appeared to be an old man, another 
was a young man, and the third was a white-skinned girl with brown hair. 
  Ryoko smiled and yelled up. "Hey, we need to talk to you!"
  The people looked down then at each other. They were too high up for anyone to 
hear what they said, but a few seconds later the young man and the girl headed 
inside the robot. A few minutes later they stepped out of a door in the foot. 
  The girl looked at them with a dull frown. "Hello Ryoko, good to see you 
again." She said. Her voice was perfectly calm and her expression didn't change.
  Washu whispered to Noboyuki. "Check out Miss Personality."
  The man heard her and laughed. "Don't mind Dorothy, she's usually like that." 
Dorothy turned to look at him, her neck making mechanical sounds. "Not that 
that's a bad thing. When she smiles she it is quite nice."
  Dorothy allowed herself to smirk. "You are a louse Roger Smith."
  Before he could respond Washu said. "Some pretty nice equipment you have 
here." She motioned to the giant robot, then at Dorothy. "Especially you young 
lady. Not as good as what I could do, but still not bad."
  Roger reached out and patted the robot's foot. "Yeah, Big O is very advanced. 
Too bad they stuck us so far back into the lot." He motioned to the robot lions 
from Voltron sitting in front of them, collecting dust.
  Tenchi looked at him. "We hear that you are a negotiator. We need you to work 
a deal with someone."
  Roger nodded. "I think I can do it. They just started rerunning the series so 
I have some free time."
  Tenchi looked surprised. "Already? It takes a month for most of our series to 
get done and way longer for the Dragonball people."
  Roger shrugged. "So what is it you want me to do?"
  Ryoko looked at him. "Are you familiar with fan fics and MSTs?"
  He nodded. "Yeah. I haven't really been in any yet, but I've read a few." He 
grinned at Ryoko. "I seem to remember you having to MST one called 'Ruby red 
cat-like eyes.'" 
  Ryoko growled. "Don't remind me. But the thing is that the guy who does those 
may be planning to do a really bad one. I was wondering if you could talk him 
into not using me any more, or at least letting me skip out on that one."
  Dorothy looked at Ryoko. "Which one would that be?"
  "'Mayuka gets it." Ryoko said.
  Dorothy closed her eyes and her features twisted into a disgusted look. 
  Roger looked at her in surprise. "Wow, it's bad enough to get a reaction out 
of you?" He looked at Ryoko. "I'll see what I can do, but do you think you can 
afford my fee?"
  Washu smirked. "If you'll agree to take the job I will give your friend here a 
biomechanical upgrade... if she wants."
  Dorothy looked at her. "What would that mean precisely?"
  Washu shrugged, "Well you would have skin, organs, bones, all the things 
living creatures do. You'd be lighter, able to conceive if you wanted, and I 
would also add an established emotion grid so that you could have the full range 
of feelings naturally instead of learning them."
  Roger held up his hand. "What about her memory and soul? I don't want the 
person she is to be at risk."
  Washu smiled. "No problem. I can transfer both without any damage. Plus she 
will be able to keep her speed and strength if she wants. I can even give her 
the ability to use energy like Ryoko or Android 18."
  Roger looked at Dorothy. "What do you want to do Dorothy?"
  The android looked over Washu and looked ay Ryoko, studying her. "Yes... yes I 
want it."
  Ryoko laughed. "It took me years to get Tenchi to say that!" Tenchi blushed 
bright red.
  Roger smiled. "Well o.k. Pinocchio." He looked at the Tenchi group. "I'll take 
the job. Give me all the information you have on this guy and what you are 
willing to give him."

  Roger knocked on the door of Bryan Weber's home. Weber came to the door 
moments later. He looked surprised and pleased at the same time. "This is 
interesting. Roger Smith and his cute android friend." He bowed to Dorothy. "How 
did you find where I live? I make it a point to make sure no anime characters 
can find me. It's mostly a survival tactic."
  Roger smiled. "I'm sure. I actually got your address from Washu. You ordered 
some equipment from her to keep your abducted characters in check. May we come 
in?"
  Weber smiled and led them to the living room. "Are you sure this is wise? I 
mean aren't you afraid I might make you MST a fic?"
  Roger shook his head. "You won't, because if we do not report in, in exactly 
twelve hours or if you do we will be giving out your home address to Vegita."
  Weber shuddered, "Alright then, what is it you want?"
  Roger handed him a picture of Ryoko. "I have been hired by her family to get 
you to stop taking her, at least so often."
  "I'm afraid I can't do that. Her chemistry with Vegita is too good." Weber 
said.
  Roger nodded, carefully not looking at Dorothy who was busy searching the 
house behind Weber's back. "Then they have made a counter offer. They wish to at 
least stop you from making her MST 'Mayuka gets it'."
  Weber shot up. "How did you know about that?"
  Roger smiled. "Never mind, but is there any way for you to let her miss that 
one? After all Mayuka is like a daughter to her."
  Weber sat back down and rubbed his chin. "What are they offering?"
  Roger passed him a list. "These are the people who have volunteered to take 
her place for this and any other stories."
  Weber looked over the list. "Tsunami, Noboyuki, Yosho..." He looked up. "I 
don't see Aeka on here."
  Roger smiled and handed him another piece of paper. 
"Actually Ryoko volunteered her."
  Weber grinned. "Of course. Actually that might not be such a bad idea. Aeka is 
better qualified to handle inbreeding than most."
  Roger looked at him strangely. "What do you mean?"
  Weber laughed and reached under his chair, pulling out a stack of papers. 
"Take a look."
  Roger looked down, reading the story in front of him. After a minute he tossed 
the papers aside and turned to throw up. Weber already had a trashcan ready. 
"That was disgusting!" 
  Weber nodded. "I know. Now do you see why I do what I do?"
  Roger nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But is it really fair to make these characters 
do this?"
  "Well the way I figured it, if I used characters who know how the real 
versions of the characters act, then they will not see it as 'real' and can 
block it out without years of therapy. I also use people so evil or inhuman that 
it doesn't bother them as much."
  "What about Syphiel?" He asked.
  Weber looked down. "I thought she was naive enough that she wouldn't 
understand. I was wrong and when I realized that I let her go."
  Dorothy came back and looked at Roger. "I placed the device in his theater."
  Weber looked up at her. "What device?"
  Roger smiled. "Well, just incase you either don't agree to the trade off or 
double cross us, we have placed a dimension tuner preset with Ryoko and Vegita's 
ideas of what they would like to do to you in the area you show these things. If 
Ryoko tells them that you made her see that fic or doesn't return, Washu will 
activate it."
  Weber glared at him and extended his hand. "Fine."
  Roger shook it and smiled. "Then it's a deal. A pleasure doing business with 
you."
  As Roger and Dorothy left the house, closing the door behind him Weber smiled. 
"It's just too bad they didn't include themselves in the deal. And knowing Washu 
she won't activate that device unless I break the deal. I should be able to do 
without Ryoko at least until I get it out of there..."

  The End... until the next Weber MST

Author's note
  I thought this would be funny and so did most of the other writers I checked 
with. I am going to run it by Bryan Weber first. If you want to tell me what you 
think, email me at clayton_n@hotmail.com. Also, tell me what you think of this 
story idea: Yosho, harmless shrine master, or cult leader?