Circle Part 6
WRITTEN BY: Adam Chris Leigh
MSTIED BY: Jamie Jeans a.k.a. JOLT!!!
Back to ACL... man, why do I feel like I'm being punished? Oh yeah, for
continuity sakes, this takes place after the Second AAAT, but before Alexander
flies off into outer space and onto the SOL, and before Rebecca and Tseuno show
up. And this is my 41th MSTied fanfic.
LEGAL STUFF: All the Anime characters in the following MST belongs to the
talented and creative people who made them. Please don't sue me for I am merely
borrowing your characters and not making any claim on them. The Club Anipike
belongs to Nightbreak, whom I am grateful to for allowing me to use it. Samantha
Jones and Alexander Misamoto are characters of my own making and belong to me.
They can be used with permission.
Now, on to the story!
________________________________________________________________________
"I missed you too, love," Samantha said, starring into the monitor, tears barely
held back as she gazed into her love's eyes.
The look was the same on Bret 'The Hitman' Hart's face and he brushed the hair o
ut of his eyes, simultaneously wiping tears away. "As do I. We've been doing
okay, though, even with what happened to Vince in the last AAAT and..."
Suddenly, Bret was pushed aside and Kevin Nash's face came onto the monitor.
"The hell wit' dat! Vince has been torturing us nonstop with horrible fanfics!
He won't stop! And that damn Pippkin ain't helping either!"
Samantha felt a jolt of pain pass through her heart at this even as the camera
violently shifted about. She giggled as she heard Mark scolding Kevin.
Predictably, Kevin shot back with some wise-ass remark and was promptly friend
with an lightning bolt. The camera refocused on Mark for a moment.
"Sorry about that. Here's Bret," he said, his usually stoic voice sounding tired
and stress.
Thanks Mark."
Bret came back onscreen and gave Samantha his trademark 'hitman' smile. She
blushed and suddenly became serious. "Bret... is it as bad as the big goofball
said it was?"
Bret laughed slightly at the 'goofball' part, but turned serious as well. "Yeah,
it has... that Pippkin can sure drag up some rough stuff. Even Eric's feeling
the pinch of the bad fanfics."
Eric appeared in the background, dancing slightly about and singing 'I feel
pretty'. Samantha caught the sight of the bottle he held in one hand, filled
with a blue liquid. "And now Mcmahon has cut off the viewscreen so that we can't
talk normally. I was able to set up this camera and transceiver to catch any
thing from the Anipike, but beyond that..."
Samantha drew up her strength and flashed him one of her smiles, the kind that
always brought a blush to his face. It worked, as always. "Don't worry! Washu is
working on a way to get you guys off the SON. She'll figure something out, I'm
*sure* of it!"
*****
Alexander Misamoto gently sipped on his ginger ale and looked over to the corner
of the Anipike where a hap hazard communications unit had been set up by Washu.
His big sister was talking with Bret again. Although the young man had been
extremely surprised to find out his sister was the famous wrestler's girlfriend,
he hated to see her suffer. Added to this the fact that the woman he loved, Deb
Lawson, was actually in love with Ankoku, and there was general misery for both
of the Author Avatars.
"Nihao Alex. Why so gloom?"
Alexander looked up and saw Shampoo and Ryoko, both standing dressed in Tennis
outfits with rackets slung over their shoulder.
"Yeah, you look like ya just got signed up for a horrible fanfic series," Ryoko
added.
"Space pirate would know," Shampoo said as she sat down.
"Please... don't remind me... although Aikan Muyo was nice..." Ryoko sat down, a
big goofy smile spreading on her face.
"What kind of series was Aikan Muyo?" Alexander asked, totally confused.
"It was..." Ryoko started.
"Good fanfic series," Shampoo finished, then shot a look at Ryoko.
"Oh," Alexander said, then winced as Samantha cursed and punched the Comm unit.
She growled at it and then walked over to the table, dropping into a chair
beside Alex.
"Mcmahon discovered our talk and blocked the signal. It'll be awhile before we
can try again." Samantha looked tired and worn out, huge bags stretching under
her eyes. "Where is Washu, anyhow?"
"Oh, she's setting up a holocabanna beside the theater," Ryoko answered,
pointing to a Star Trek-like door beside the theater doors. "She and Misato were
up all night talking about uses and designing it."
The door hissed open and out walked a very tired Washu. She yawned and stumbled
over to the table, pulling up a chair and taking a spot besides Ryoko. "Well,
it's finished," she said, yawning again. "And already, the schedule for it is
packed."
All of the reviewers looked over to see a line forming up at the bar where
Misato, pen and notepad in hand, was taking down the names and reserving times.
Predictably, many of the cast members from DragonBall Z were lined up first, Ki
crackling off fists or in eyes as they anticipated their turn in the hologram
room.
Alexander blinked and finished off his ginger ale before speaking. "Why do I get
this feeling that Haim Saban will be the man of many deaths by the end of the
day?"
"End of the day?" Ryoko repeated. "Try end of the hour."
"So, shall we get on with today's fanfic?" Washu asked.
*****
[Washu, Alexander, Samantha, and Shampoo entered the theater and took their
seats in the front roll, Alexander in the fourth seat, Washu in the third,
Samantha in the second, and Shampoo in the first.]
SAMANTHA: Well, Ryoko wasn't too pleased about this.
ALEX: About as pleased as you were when you heard Adam was back in the AAAT.
SAMANTHA: Exactly.
SHAMPOO: Shampoo amazed at how fast she join line up.
WASHU: Well, she wasn't too happy when she heard we were taking on Part 6 of
Full Circle.
ALEX: Is it really that bad?
SAMANTHA: Strap yourself in, little brother. You're gonna be in for one hell of
a ride.
WASHU: PLAY!!!
[The fanfic starts up.]
INTERLUDE
ALEX: A good thing we had plenty of those during the Second AAAT. That was
tiring!
SAMANTHA: Good one, bro!
ALEX: Thanks!
Establishing Shot:
WASHU: Remember, that said establishing, not pleasing, Samantha.
SAMANTHA: Oh, you're no fun!
Space... again.
SHAMPOO: <Kirk> Final Frontier. These voyages of Starship Enterprise. Her five
year mission: seek out new life new life forms.
Predominantly shown is a large
planet that has come to be known as Earth.
WASHU: A good thing too. I wouldn't want this story starting off on the wrong
planet!
A small twinkle is shown
ALEX: Twinkle, twinkle, little star...
in the space to the left of the planet, as a ship suddenly appears
heading towards the screen.
SHAMPOO: Ah! It *is* Starship Enterprise.
KIYONNE (V.O.)
SAMANTHA: Victim character number two.
ALEX: Who's number one?
SAMANTHA: Tenchi.
Officer First Class Kiyonne, ships
log, supplemental:
SHAMPOO: <Kirk> Lost toupee and girdle, and can't leave room.
ALEX: Stolen MST3K riff # 1.
SHAMPOO: Hey!
WASHU: About how many people will get *that* one?
SAMANTHA: Don't ask me. I'm just preparing myself for allot of pain.
I have arrived in
the system that the explosion assumed
to have been from the A1 class criminal
Kagato's ship, the Souja.
ALEX: Hey! Kain was the A1 class criminal, not Kagato! And I don't recognize
this show at all! Which one is this based off of?
WASHU: Don't even bother trying to figure it out, Alex. Adam is writing this and
he don't give a damn about the continuity of either the TV or the OVA series.
*yawn*
SAMANTHA: Nor of key plot points.
SHAMPOO: Nor of characters.
The ship continues to move
SAMANTHA: And straight into the camera. Oh the humanity!
WASHU: That's the fifth one they broke in this scene alone!
forward passing the camera which follows
it as it moves into orbit of Earth.
SHAMPOO: After while, camera got bored and left for better pay in "College Life"
series.
ALEX: Can you blame it? All it's doing is watching a ship.
As it passes we notice some
signage, the Galaxy Police insignia, a strange looking string of
characters,
WASHU: They're called Japanese Kanji, Adam.
and the name YAGAMI in script near the front of the ship.
Cut to the interior of the ship
WASHU & SAMANTHA: Ouch!
SHAMPOO: What that?
SAMANTHA: A running gag.
WASHU: Just go along with it.
ALEX: Okay.
a few seconds after it passes the
camera to show KIYONNE
ALEX: Spelled with one too many N's.
sitting in a chair in the cockpit of the ship.
SHAMPOO: So, this turn into Top Gun in space?
She is wearing her GP uniform, including her patented headband, under
a black leather jacket.
SAMANTHA: But they don't wear leather jackets in the Galaxy Police.
WASHU: Details, details...
KIYONNE
The system is classified as A031X in
the Galaxy Police files, and is better
known as the
WASHU: Most boring place to ever go to for a vacation.
ALEX: Now I know this is all made up! Kiyone never said anything like that on
the way to Earth in the TV series.
SAMANTHA: Why do I have this feeling he'll be saying that throughout the entire
fanfic?
Sol System in reference to
it's sun, the most energizing one on
this side of the galaxy.
SHAMPOO: It keep going and going and going...
It is well
known as the home planet of the Jurai
Emperor's wife, Funaho, and has been
for the last three millennia, under a
non-interference status by the GP.
WASHU: Is that like StarFleet's Prime Directive?
ALEX: And look how good the crew of the Enterprise followed that!
In
a hopefully unrelated event, this is
the area of space that my late partner
Mihoshi had last been at before she
went missing.
SAMANTHA: As well as some commas.
KIYONNE turns in her chair to lean forward and hold her hand over one
of the buttons on the console beside her.
WASHU: I guess those buttons have gotten more wild.
ALEX: What was holding Kiyone back?
SHAMPOO: Pardon?
ALEX: Well, it said she turned in her chair to lean forward. I'm just wondering
what was keeping her from leany! Yukinojo wasn't on the Yagami! Yukinojo wasn't
even in the TV series!
SAMANTHA: Calmness little brother, you'll just burn yourself out if you keep
this up.
ALEX: But he's screwing up the whole series! This never happened at all in the
TV series! Kiyone never...
WASHU: [starts typing on subspace computer and a bucket of water appears over
Alex, dousing him with water and then disappearing.]
ALEX: [steam rising from him] Thanks. I needed that.
SHAMPOO: Poor guy. He turn into Dan.
One of the bulges
SAMANTHA: Kiyone's got a few guys in the cockpit?
WASHU: SAMANTHA!!!
on the ceiling of the cockpit pushes its way down
and opens to show two optic sensors that almost look like eyes.
SHAMPOO: Wow! Shampoo no figure that out! Shampoo amazed!
WASHU: Tone down the sarcasm.
It
descends to be a little more than two feet in front of KIYONNE. When
it speaks, its top half and bottom half shake.
ALEX: They didn't shake! The bottom moves up and down to imitate mouth movement!
SAMANTHA: Alex...
ALEX: I'm sorry. I just hate seeing good shows screwed up so massively.
SHAMPOO: [whispering to Samantha] Bets he no make it halfway through without
losing it.
SAMANTHA: [whispering back] It's not a bet if we both agree.
YUKINOJO
In system data has been gathered and
analyzed. There are four types of
wreckage apparent in the surrounding
space.
WASHU: <Yukinojo> I'm *still* trying to figure out the methane part.
Behind YUKINOJO a viewscreen appears and displays various data about
shards of metal found in the wreckage.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> The hell... what is duct tape and glue doing on the edges?
As YUKINOJO speaks, KIYONNE
takes off her jacket.
ALEX: [blushes] Oh no! Not another Tenchi lemon!
SHAMPOO: She just take jacket off. Nothing worry about.
WASHU: What was the last one you reviewed?
ALEX: [blushes really red] Ummm... "Where's Ryoko?"
WASHU: Oh.
SAMANTHA: She's in line for the holocabana, remember?
WASHU: Eh... he knows that. He meant the name of the lemon.
YUKINOJO
Most of the wreckage conforms to readings
and energy analyses performed during the
several brief encounters with the Souja
prior to now.
WASHU: <Yukinojo> And the empty bean cans are really starting to make me
think...
SAMANTHA: Would you quit it with the farting jokes?
Percent of error on this
fact factors down to five point three
seven.
ALEX: So Mr.Spiner was secretly the voice for Yukinojo?
KIYONNE leans forward to look at the data.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> Yup! It's data.
SHAMPOO: Thought he on Enterprise.
OTHERS: <groans>
KIYONNE
Well, that was easy enough. Don't really
think they needed to pull me from that
concert on Yavin to do this though. <beat>
WASHU: The author for that bad Star Wars plug? Certainly!
ALEX: OOC already. Kiyone's a dedicated cop, and she wouldn't have any problem
leaving a concert for an investigation!
What's the data on the rest of that wreck
out there?
ALEX: It's split right in half and are a few kilometers from each other.
YUKINOJO
There are parts and debris from three ships
that are well documented in GP files. The
ships are the GP ship 'Pure Heart', the
Royal Jurai ship Ryo-oh, and the once wanted
criminal Ryo-ohki.
SAMANTHA: Don't Alex, just don't.
SHAMPOO: Amazing how wreckage from crash on Earth get in orbit.
WASHU: Well, it did follow OVA # 5 for a bit so there would be wreckage from
Ryo-oh and Ryo-oh-ki floating around.
ALEX: And what about the wreckage of the Souja?
WASHU: Lost in bad writing.
KIYONNE suddenly cringes and makes motions that she's dying.
SAMANTHA: To hurt Adam, I know.
KIYONNE
The <beat> 'Pure Heart?'
WASHU: Oh no! Not another movie based around a special effect!
YUKINOJO
Affirmative. The Galaxy Police ship 'Pure
Heart' is currently issued to--
KIYONNE
Don't say it! I don't want to be hexed by
saying <beat> that evil incarnation's name.
SAMANTHA: So here, Adam considers Mihoshi stupid while Kiyone considers her
evil.
ALEX: <laughing> Evil?! <more laughing> Saying Mihoshi's evil is like saying
Kiyone's lazy! <still laughing> It simply don't fit them!
Can you determine if there is enough wreckage
of the 'Pure Heart' to conclude that the ship
was completely destroyed and further
investigation isn't necessary?
WASHU: <Fate> Kiyone, this is Fate speaking. I'm gonna have to slap you in the
face now.
YUKINOJO makes a motion with its optic sensors that resembles
blinking.
SHAMPOO: In fact, it was blinking.
YUKINOJO
<flat> Negative.
SAMANTHA: Actually, my blood's B positive, but enough about that.
KIYONNE
Shit.
ALEX: Hey! She cursed!
WASHU: Damn, there goes the PG-13 rating.
I wish I stayed at the concert.
Even if 'Suicidal Salarians' was playing
SHAMPOO: That no sound like Kiyone music.
SAMANTHA: What *would* be Kiyone music?
WASHU: We'll ask her when we get out.
it would be better that finding out that
SHE is still alive.
ALEX: She's not too fond of Mihoshi, is she?
In the Masaki house, the gang is eating Lunch around a table.
MIHOSHI suddenly sneezes.
ALL: Gseudeint!
ADAM
Bless'you.
MIHOSHI
Thank you.
ALL BUT ALEX: *GASP* ADAM WAS NICE TO MIHOSHI!!! THE END OF THE WORLD IS
COMING!!! AAAHHH!!! [They all get up and start running around, screaming bloody
murder.]
ALEX: I think you all are taking this a little too far.
[Samantha, Washu, and Shampoo sit back down.]
SAMANTHA: True, but it's fun!
TENCHI
<smiling> Someone must be talking about
you, Mihoshi.
SHAMPOO: Shampoo thought you say "hey good looking" when someone sneeze.
ALEX: *ACHOO* *SNIFF* Sorry.
WASHU: Go on, Shampoo. Say it.
SHAMPOO: *sigh* Hey good looking.
ALEX: [blushes]
MIHOSHI
Oh! I hope its something nice.
WASHU: Oh, the irony of the situation is killing me.
Twisted Plot Productions
ALEX: It's twisted all right.
Presents
SAMANTHA: <Mike Tenay> The third AAAT! Tune in now for the exciting tag-team
action of Silhouette and Shadow!!!
SHAMPOO: Shameless plug, Samantha.
SAMANTHA: Thanks. I was hoping to avoid a shame*filled* one.
OTHERS: <groan>
ALEX: My sister, ladies and gentlemen. My sister.
In Association with Tempest Creations
A Division of Starlight Pictures
SHAMPOO: New line of pornos.
OTHERS: GYAH!!!
SAMANTHA: Don't be giving Adam any ideas!
FULL CIRCLE
ALEX: What comes around, goes around.
By Adam Chris Leigh
WASHU: Who ranks right up there with DJ Croft in the most bizarre use of PC.
Based On "Tenchi Muyou"
By Masaki Kanajaki
WASHU: WOOHOO!!! You're the best!
ALEX: Do you always do that?
WASHU: Well, I'm only trying to point out what *good* parts of this fanfic there
is.
SHAMPOO: You mean *script* to fanfic.
WASHU: Okay, *script* to fanfic.
Episode 6: The Calm Before The Storm
SHAMPOO: Isn't that now? Third AAAT only week or two away.
WASHU: I was wondering why I didn't see many Author Avatars around here.
Establishing Shot: Washuu's lab.
WASHU: Grrr... Stop spelling my name wrong!
ALEX: This is not a good sign.
The floor is indiscernible from the
walls,
SAMANTHA: Well, it would be if the walls had grass on them.
SHAMPOO: Has Adam even OVA series?
WASHU: Well, considering that Adam thinks that the OVA series is the TV series,
I would have to say no.
if there are any,
ALEX: Okay, now that's just plain dumb. Of course Washu's subspace room has
walls! It wouldn't be a room without walls, it would just be a place with a
ceiling and a floor.
but by the way all the equipment is positioned
it looks like it's a small room.
ALL: ...
SAMANTHA: You know, Adam is one of those authors that make you wish he had
Ratliff's level of descriptive writing.
ALEX: Actually, I'm just wondering how arranging equipment makes a room look
small.
WASHU: Not to mention that I keep allot of my equipment hidden away until I need
it.
SHAMPOO: Shampoo say we toke up to bad writing due to lack of research.
OTHERS: Agreed!
WASHUU is typing on her holographic
keyboard
WASHU: Subspace computer.
while ADAM tries to wiggle
ALL: <singing> Wiggle it, just a little bit! I wanna see you wiggle it...
his arm free from a vice that is
holding it under some incredibly large examining device.
SHAMPOO: Oh! It machine that goes PING!
She turns to
ADAM and stops typing.
ALEX: <Washu> When did you get here?
WASHUU
Very interesting. <beat>
WASHU: <German> But stupid.
Much more
efficient than Ryouko's design. Not
very high on aesthetics though.
[Stunned silence]
WASHU: I did not read that. I did not read that!!!
SAMANTHA: *sigh* It was bound to happen. Adam has the other characters stroking
his ego.
ALEX: No!!!
WASHU: I did not read that!!!
SHAMPOO: This no bode good, Sam.
ALEX: How could he be a more efficient design then Ryoko?!?! He was born, not
created!
SAMANTHA: Calmness little brother. It's gonna get allot worst before it gets
better.
WASHU: I did not read that!
Doesn't look comfortable either. Are
you in pain?
WASHU: <dark> Yes. Pain. Lots of pain. Extreme pain. Pain for the author.
SAMANTHA: Uh, Washu, cut it out. You're beginning to scare *me*.
ADAM
Not anymore, it was painful at first
but not anymore.
ALEX: <Adam> Especially since I've lost all feeling in my arm from lack of blood
flow.
SHAMPOO: He masochist? That explain lot.
WASHU: Really?
SHAMPOO: No.
It is very,
inconvenient though. Think you could
remove it?
SAMANTHA: <Washu> Okay... *CHOP* Oh, that looks like it hurts, what with all the
blood flowing pouring out of the stump.
ALEX: <Adam> Well it did, but not anymore. *THUMP*
WASHUU
<long and drawn out> Well... I suppose
after extensive testing I could. Maybe
a look under the intense invasive radianic
scanner would better inform me.
ALEX: @_@
SAMANTHA: ^_-
SHAMPOO: Hoo boy.
WASHU: When the heck did Adam get a Star Trek technobabble generator?
SAMANTHA: About the same time he wrote the lines to stroke his ego.
ADAM
Forget it, I'll just have Ryouko rip it
off my palm.
SHAMPOO: That be *out* of palm. Gem went *into* palm in part four, remember?
ALEX: He has a gem in his palm? The same kind of gem that Ryoko has?
WASHU: Of whose name he is spelling wrong as well.
ALEX: But how could he?! He's human!!!
SAMANTHA: No he's not, he's an Author Avatar. Get used to it.
ALEX: But sis, we're Author Avatars.
SAMANTHA: [Sighs and reaches under seat, pulls out a thick stack of papers and
throws them away.] Damn, there goes those jokes.
I'm sure she won't have
any problems with that.
WASHU: [evil smile] Oh no. She won't.
WASHUU
Nonsense, Ryouko holds you in the
highest respect.
ALL: AHHH!
SAMANTHA: Sweet Jesus. It's happening again.
ALEX: And within a few lines of each other.
WASHU: <Bob> This is bad. This is very bad.
Higher than me these
days. She thinks you quite the man.
SHAMPOO: Please Adam, don't. Shampoo try and keep lunch down.
ADAM
<sarcastically> I'm sure.
WASHU: Hey! When the greatest scientific genius of the Anime multiverse tells
you something, you listen!
ALEX: <Ryan> I suggest the patented... BOOT TO THE HEAD!
SAMANTHA: God help me if you ever meet Ryan.
SHAMPOO: Foreshadowing folks!
WASHUU
Well, she doesn't want to kill you
anyway.
SAMANTHA: We are obviously not talking about the same person.
WASHU: It could be one of those alternate dimension Ryoko's.
It's more than I can say
about most people in this house.
SHAMPOO: <Washu> Yeah! Washu get to kill you!
SASAMI (O.S.)
Washuu? Adam? Dinner's ready!
SAMANTHA: <Tenchi, whispering> Now, did you load his ramen with sionide?
WASHU: <Sasami> You bet!
SAMANTHA: <Tenchi> Excellent.
ADAM
Oh good, I'm starved.
SAMANTHA: <Tenchi, evil> Yes Adam... eat... eat *all* you want... heh heh heh...
mwahahahah... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
ALEX: Sis, you're scarring me!
WASHUU
I guess I could take a break from
my strenuous work.
ALEX: <Washu> What with pushing buttons and all, it's just so tiring.
WASHU: Excuse me?
ALEX: <nervous> Heh heh... sorry.
ADAM
<sarcastically> Oh sure, highly
strenuous.
ALEX: Oh no! I'm thinking along the same lines as Adam! [breaks out crying]
SHAMPOO: [patting Alex on the shoulder] It okay. We get drink after?
ALEX: *sniff* Okay.
WASHUU looks back and hits a button on a panel causing the vice around
ADAM's arm to tighten abruptly.
SHAMPOO: And slice it off.
SAMANTHA: Oh great. Now what's Adam gonna do whenever he's alone?
ALEX: Huh?
WASHU & SHAMPOO: SAMANTHA!!!
His hand turns beet red
WASHU: Not a word!
SAMANTHA: No! You're letting a good riff go by!
and he
struggles violently.
WASHU: [gives Samantha a stern look]
SAMANTHA: And another one goes by! Come on! Please?
WASHU: NO!
WASHUU laughs satanically.
ALEX: That should be maniacally.
SHAMPOO: Actually expect Adam to get something right?
ALEX: This is starting to turn into a Adam bashing fest.
OTHERS: WE'RE BITTER DARN IT!
Cut to the forests surrounding the lake.
ALL: OUCH!
A small dirt path is
surrounded on both sides by tall trees that reach up into the sky but
don't block the constant stream of light pouring in.
ALEX: But are Redwoods indigenous to the landscape of Japan?
The trees sway
back and forth suddenly and there is a large flash of yellow light
SHAMPOO: Hey! It Goku in super-sayin mode!
that
quickly dissipates and leaves KIYONNE behind.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> Hey! Come back!
She holds up a cube that
shows what looks like a compass.
WASHU: But compasses are round.
ALEX: It makes no sense really!
SAMANTHA: And the award for most creative use of the English language goes to...
KIYONNE
Damn, her homing signal is still
Strong. <beat> Enormous amounts
of high energy potential around,
SHAMPOO: <Kiyone> Kiyone better call Queen Metillia!
I wonder if there's been some
contamination from the explosion of
Kagato's ship.
WASHU: Oh, there's been contamination all right!
SAMANTHA: Are you still bitter over the whole 'more efficient' line?
WASHU: <sarcastic> Naw! What makes you say that?
KIYONNE walks down the path with her head down watching her cube.
ALEX: <Kiyone> AHHH!!! <imitates a body rolling down the hill>
SAMANTHA: Maybe she should have been watching where she was going.
Cut to Masaki household interior.
ALL: Ouch!
AEKA and RYOUKO are watching what
looks like a soap opera,
SHAMPOO: <Aeka> Yup! It soap opera!
SASAMI is playing with RYO-OHKI by the window.
Zoom to show television.
SHAMPOO: <Aeka> Yup! It television!
MAN
Exactly what you wanted, forty
pounds of rice from the market.
Now, you know what I want in return.
ALEX: <man> My money. They raised the price in rise at the grocery store today!
WOMAN
I <beat> I don't know if I should.
ALEX: <Man> What do you mean, you don't know? I need some money for gas, bad!
What if my husband finds out?
SAMANTHA: He'll be pissed!
MAN
You know you want to, and he won't
care if you do.
WASHU: Do the dew!
SAMANTHA: Shameless Product Plug # 1.
Cut to RYOUKO and AEKA.
ALL: Oww!
Their eyes widen and they lean forward towards
the television.
ALEX: *THUMP* *THUMP*
WASHU: Don't lean *too* far.
WOMAN
Well, I suppose it'll be alright,
as long as it's quick.
SAMANTHA: <Man> Okay... there, I'm done.
MAN
You can do it as quick as you want
it to be, I just want it so much.
SHAMPOO: <Man> Caramilk secret. Must have it.
RYOUKO is almost drooling,
ALL: Eww!
AEKA is biting on the ends of her robe.
WASHU: <Aeka> Hmmm... crunchy!
Cut
to the television screen.
ALL: Ouch!
WOMAN
Okay. Let's do it! I'll cook
Lunch for you!
MAN
I'll get the hibachi!
ALEX: Isn't that an electronics company?
Cut to RYOUKO and AEKA.
ALL: Ouch!
They both face fault and RYOUKO falls on the
ground.
SHAMPOO: *THUMP*
SAMANTHA: <deadpan> It must hurt falling on your face like that.
AEKA quickly picks up the remote control, turns off the
television, and starts walking off.
WASHU: The deep end.
ALEX: <Aeka> I can't stand Adam no more! I just can't!!!
AEKA
I wonder what Tenchi is doing.
SAMANTHA: Making sure this script doesn't get to Masaki Kajishima.
RYOUKO
I think I'll see what Washuu is
working on.
ALEX: That line alone tells us volumes of how much Adam knows about the
characters of Tenchi Muyo.
WASHU: <Ryoko> Yeah, I'm just going to see Washu. Yeah, that's it.
SHAMPOO: <Aeka> Not buy it.
WASHU: <Ryoko> DOH!
SASAMI(O.S.)
Hey everybody! Look what's going
on outside!
SAMANTHA: <Sasami> Another unfortunate member of the Tenchi cast is about to
meet Adam!
AEKA and RYOUKO turn to look out the window. Cut to exterior of Masaki
household.
ALL: OUCH!
Rather large flakes of snow are falling but have yet to
accumulate on the ground.
ALEX: So, in other words, it's snowing.
SASAMI
What is that?
ALL: SNOW!
RYOUKO
Oh great, SNOW. <beat> I really
hate the weather on this planet.
I can't stand the cold.
ALEX: So this is where the TV series comes into play, right?
WASHU: Yes.
ALEX: Okay.
SASAMI
Looks like fun. <looks down> Come
on Ryo-ohki, lets go outside and
play!
AEKA
Isn't a little unusual to have snow
in this area of Earth?
SHAMPOO: No, it snow every year just like in Canada and other places.
RYOUKO
Yeah, I think the last time it snowed
was close to ten years ago.
WASHU: Remember folks, foreshadowing!
The door to WASHUU's lab opens and ADAM walks in.
SAMANTHA: [blinks] But Adam was already *in* Washu's lab.
SHAMPOO: We stuck in flashback here?
ADAM
Hey! Snow! I was wondering if we were
still in a temperate zone.
ALEX: Temperate: meaning moderate, balmy.
WASHU: I admit, the area around the Masaki house can be hectic, even after
filming, but it's not like it's a war zone.
RYOUKO
Don't tell me YOU like snow.
ADAM
Oh yeah! I love snow. Don't know why,
just do.
WASHU: Remember, he likes snow, but doesn't know why. This'll be on the quiz
later.
SASAMI
Adam, you want to come play in the
snow with me?
ADAM
Uh, sure. I'm done with my work for now.
SAMANTHA: So being a test subject is work for Adam. It says a lot, doesn't it?
SHAMPOO: Like what?
SAMANTHA: I haven't the foggiest.
AEKA
Work? What work are you doing?
ADAM
I'm working with Washuu on something
special.
WASHU: Oh hoo hoo really... Sure, the greatest scientific genius in the Anime
multiverse is gonna let some kid help her on a project.
ALEX: Hey, I think my leg just grew a few inches in length with that line.
She says it's something that
has been on her mind for the last 1200
years. I can't say what it is yet.
<beat> Mostly because I don't know.
SAMANTHA: Isn't that kinda like getting someone to run a nuclear plant when they
have *no* idea what they're supposed to do?
ADAM reaches into the doorway and pulls out a black trench coat.
SHAMPOO: Instead of winter coat like smart person do.
ADAM
Okay Sasami, lets go!
ALL: <singing> Hey ho! Let's go!
ADAM and SASAMI walk out the glass door with RYO-OHKI.
ALEX: *CRASH*
WASHU: Guess they should have *opened* the door first.
AEKA and RYOUKO
look at each other for a moment then
SHAMPOO: Run like hell to find Tenchi.
RYOUKO walks past AEKA and into
the doorway to WASHUU's lab.
SAMANTHA: *THUMP*
SHAMPOO: That had to hurt.
A few seconds later TENCHI walks in with
a held out fist.
WASHU: <Tenchi> Hmmm... if I follow this trail of blood, I'll find out who this
fist belongs to.
TENCHI
Oh Aeka! I was looking for you.
AEKA
<hopeful> Oh, you were, Lord Tenchi?
SAMANTHA: Bomp-chika-bow-wow.
ALEX: AH!!! All my "Where's Ryoko?" memories are flashing back!
TENCH
Yeah, I need to give you something.
SHAMPOO: How enticing can lemon be in script?
TENCHI opens his fist and in his palm is a large seed with a few buds
already sprouting from it.
SHAMPOO & SAMANTHA: Oh.
TENCHI
Tsunami told me to give this to you,
she said it was Ryo-Oh's seed. It
seemed very important, so I didn't
want to forget.
ALEX: Did Tenchi go to William Shatner's school of acting?
AEKA looks at the seed in his hand and picks it up with her two
fingers.
SAMANTHA: But wasn't she already holding it? Oh, it said, *his*, not her. My
bad.
AEKA
Thank you very much, Lord Tenchi.
<beat> This is all that is truly
left of my ship, Ryo-Oh.
WASHU: That honestly sounds like someone was trying to think of a name for the
ship when they first saw it.
SHAMPOO: Ryo-Oh god! Look at size of ship!
But
hopefully I can grow a new tree
from this bud and Ryo-Oh won't
really die. <beat; saddened>
But I'm not sure it can grow in
Earth's soil, and if it takes root
it'll be stuck here forever.
ALEX: Don't forget. You and Sasami will be stuck on Earth for a long time as
well.
TENCHI
Oh, <beat> maybe you can get Washuu
to make you something! She is a
genius, after all.
WASHU: Damn right!
AEKA
Yes... yes, maybe she can. I'll go
talk to her about it. Thank you
again Lord Tenchi.
There is an uncomfortable silence and AEKA and TENCHI just look at the
floor. Suddenly AEKA looks up at TENCHI.
SAMANTHA: <Aeka> Come here good looking! *SMOOCH*
AEKA
So, have you seen the snow yet?
TENCHI
Snow?
WASHU: Oh no... has Tenchi been hitting the same stuff as Misato has?
TENCHI looks past AEKA and out the window to see the white flakes
dropping the ground.
ALEX: I guess the snow flakes have been working out.
SHAMPOO: <Mike Tenay> Oh and a powerful slam by the Snowflake! It's all over for
the Ground!
SAMANTHA: Oh sure, steal my riffs.
SHAMPOO: Well, no didn't see you going for riffs.
The snow is starting to accumulate and SASAMI and
ADAM are making snowballs by the lake.
WASHU: Then, technically, that should be a blizzard out there if they're already
making snowballs.
SHAMPOO: Or it could have been snowing all night.
WASHU: But he didn't say.
SHAMPOO: Ah.
Cut to a blurry, black and white scene
ALL: Ouch!
with a young TENCHI playing
around in the snow seeming very happy.
SAMANTHA: But inside he was a nervous wreck, fearful of what others would think
of him.
A woman walks up in robes with
a parasol whom we can't see the face of.
ALL: ...
ALEX: So he couldn't see her face, right?
WASHU: I think so... I'm still trying to figure out the line.
SAMANTHA: Hey, it's the parasol's face he couldn't see!
SHAMPOO: That no make sense.
SAMANTHA: Just like this fanfic.
ALEX: That's not fair. The fanfic does make sense, it's only certain lines that
are confusing.
WASHU: [places hand on Alex's forehead] Are you feeling okay?
ALEX: [nearly in tears] No...
Cut to TENCHI's view
ALL: Ouch!
as he
looks up at the woman, her face shrouded in the shadow of the parasol.
SHAMPOO: In case we all forget first time around.
WOMAN
Having fun Tenchi?
SAMANTHA: <Tenchi> No, I'm having to do a reliving of my past screwed up by
Adam!
WASHU: <Tseuno> No, we're watching a bad fanfic.
SHAMPOO: *Script* for fanfic.
WASHU: *sigh* Script... got it...
You better put
on your coat though, or you'll catch
a cold.
TENCHI
Awww, mom, it's not that cold out.
ALEX: *SNAP*
SHAMPOO: It bad when finger snaps off.
WOMAN
<laughs; warmly> No, not now, but it
will be. So make your poor mom happy
and put on your coat.
WASHU: Strange, I don't remember Tenchi's parents as being poor.
TENCHI
Okay mom.
AEKA(V.O.)
Tenchi?
Cut back to Masaki household interior.
ALL: OUCH!
AEKA is looking at TENCHI
strangly.
SHAMPOO: <Aeka> What you been hitting? And where can Aeka get some?
AEKA
Tenchi? Are you alright?
TENCHI
Huh? <beat> Yeah, I was just remembering
something from when I was young.
ALEX: <Tenchi> When there weren't any fanboys inserting themselves into our worl
d...
There's a loud smack and TENCHI and AEKA look outside to see a large
white splotch on the glass door.
SAMANTHA: Now if that had been a *brown* splotch on the door...
Outside SASAMI is laughing and ADAM
is smiling at the window. He seems to mouth the word, "Sorry," through
his smile. TENCHI sighs.
WASHU: <Tenchi> I'll be so glad when he leaves.
Cut to Masaki Shrine.
ALL: Ouch!
YOUSHO is standing on the porch of the shrine
watching the snow fall with a cup of tea in his hand.
WASHU: <Yousho> Damn. My tea is getting cold.
YOUSHO
Hmm... <beat> It was on a day like
today that it all happened.
SHAMPOO: <Yousho> When other Author Avatar showed up.
KIYONNE suddenly emerges from the trees covered in snow, still holding
the cube in front of her. She's shivering quite violently as she walks
out of the trees. YOUSHO picks up an umbrella and starts walking over
to her.
ALEX: Isn't it amazing how he always does that?
SHAMPOO: Do what?
ALEX: Be prepared for everything.
SAMANTHA: Maybe he's a scout?
WASHU: Hopefully not a *sailor* scout...
ALEX: [picture of Yousho in a fuku appears in his mind] AAARRRGGHH!!! [collapses
to the floor] Mental picture... go away...
SAMANTHA: Stop stealing my schtick!
WASHU: Sorry.
KIYONNE
<to herself> Damn you Mihoshi.
SAMANTHA: Now *she's* stealing my schtick!
Even
when you aren't here you're causing
me trouble.
YOUSHO
Excuse me miss.
KIYONNE jumps, startled by YOUSHO's voice and that he's holding the
umbrella over her.
SHAMPOO: *THUMP* <Kiyone> Ouch!
YOUSHO
It is very cold out and you don't
seem to be prepared for the weather,
perhaps you should come inside and
warm yourself before you continue on
your way.
WASHU: <Yousho> I should also check over my script. There appears to be one too
many commas in it.
KIYONNE debates it in her mind for all of half a second
ALEX: Yes.
SHAMPOO: No.
ALEX: Yes.
SHAMPOO: No.
ALEX: Yes.
SHAMPOO: No.
ALEX: Yes.
SHAMPOO: No.
ALEX: Yes.
SHAMPOO: No.
SAMANTHA: QUIT THAT!
SHAMPOO & ALEX: <giggle>
before she nods
her head and walks with YOUSHO back to the shrine.
SAMANTHA: Bomp-chika-bow-wow.
OTHERS: GYAH!!! SAMANTHA!!!
WASHU: There probably is a lemon out there about those two.
Cut to shrine interior.
ALL: Ouch.
YOUSHO is pouring KIYONNE a cup of tea.
YOUSHO
So tell me who you are and what you
are doing out in the snow.
ALEX: <deep> Tell me and I might make you death... quick...
SHAMPOO: Where that come from?
ALEX: [shrugs] Any James Bond movie.
KIYONNE
My name is Kiyonne, and I'm a police
officer First Class.
SAMANTHA: So she solves crimes in luxury?
SHAMPOO: Oh! Lots of leg room in first class.
ALEX: A good thing since she has long legs.
SAMANTHA: What was that, little brother?
ALEX: She has long legs. [blushes] I'm just saying.
WASHU: You know, if you want a date with her I could...
ALEX: [blushing *really* red] No! I mean... er... no thanks.
I was send out
SAMANTHA: First class, of course.
WASHU: Alongside past tense.
here to look for one of our missing
officers, we found some evidence that
suggested she might be here.
YOUSHO nods silently, absorbing the information.
WASHU: *SLURP*
KIYONNE
I wasn't expecting any snow because the
sky was clear earlier today, so it
caught me off guard.
ALEX: She was caught off guard by snow? This doesn't bode well for the Galaxy
Police.
YOUSHO
So how did you end up in the forest.
SHAMPOO: <Yousho> And could you find question marks?
There is a direct path to the house
from the road.
KIYONNE rubs the back of her head and smiles nervously.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone thinking> Will he go out with me Saturday night?
KIYONNE
Well, I wasn't really looking where
I was going and by the time I realized
I was lost, I couldn't retrace my
steps anymore.
WASHU: <Kiyone> I keep the paper right on top of the picture but I still can't
*trace* it anymore.
YOUSHO
Hmmm... I heard you talking about
Mihoshi before. Is she the missing
Officer you were sent to find?
KIYONNE drops her cup and lunges over to YOUSHO. She grabs him by his
collar and pulls him forward.
ALEX: <Yousho> Ack! Can't... breath...
KIYONNE
<tense; loud> Do you know who she
is? Have you seen her? Where is
she.
SHAMPOO: <Kiyone> Where's the question mark for my third question?
WASHU: Lost in cyberspace.
YOUSHO
<calm> She lives in the house at
the bottom of the steps of this
shrine.
ALEX: I swear, that guy could remain calm in the face of a hurricane.
KIYONNE drops YOUSHO and sits back and just stares for a second. Then
she starts to cry.
SAMANTHA: What? Did she just find out who the author was?
KIYONNE
Noooo!!! It's all gone, my peace
and quiet, my success, my life. It's
all ruined, all GONE!
WASHU: Don't cry so much Kiyone, there'll be other better fanfic authors to work
for.
YOUSHO sweatdrops.
ALL:Yeah right!
Cut to subspace, WASHUU's Lab.
ALL: Ouch.
WASHU: And that's Washu's subspace lab! Get it right!
A large multicolored floor stretches
into a large room with walls that go beyond the camera.
SAMANTHA: Ack! We're stuck in a bad 70's movie! Any minute now John Travolta is
gonna come out and start Disco dancing!!!
WASHUU is
sitting on a floating pillow typing on her holographic keyboard.
WASHU: Subspace laptop.
The
outline of a door appears then fills in yellow with a window as ADAM
pushes it open and walks into the Lab. He walks over to her with his
hands in his pockets.
SHAMPOO: Ah, he play pocket pool.
ALEX: Pocket pool?
SAMANTHA: But how can he play it with only two balls and one limp stick?
WASHU: That's enough out of you two.
ALEX: What are they talking about?
WASHU: Nothing, just ignore them.
ADAM
Washuu.
WASHUU
Adam.
JAMIE: <over intercom> AHHH!!! ALL MY SHOWGIRL MEMORIES ARE COMING BACK TO HAUNT
ME!!!
ALEX: The heck...?!?!
SAMANTHA: Jamie! Get out of the theater!
JAMIE: <intercom> Sorry.
ADAM
<beat> You called?
SHAMPOO: <Lurch> You rang?
OTHERS: [applaud]
WASHUU turns in her pillow and looks up at ADAM.
WASHU: Hmmm... I wonder if I can turn him into a water sprite?
WASHUU
Your work on the subspace inverter
assembly is incomplete. I was hoping
you could finish it. <beat> Now.
ALL: ...
WASHU: Oh... he's working on something in my lab, with my equipment... and I'm
asking him to finish it. It's funny, isn't it? <begins laughing maniacally>
ALEX: Big sister! Washu's scaring me!
SAMANTHA: I know Alex. She's scaring me too.
SHAMPOO: You no only one scared.
ADAM
<blinks> Of... of course, Washuu. I
just need to review the schematics for
reference.
SAMANTHA: <Adam, reading> Hmmm... Tab A goes into slot B... *THUMP* *THUMP* Come
on you stupid thing!
WASHU: Adam, the schematics are not in the first edition of Where's Waldo.
ALEX: Whoa! That was harsh!
WASHU: I'm very bitter.
SHAMPOO: You think?
WASHUU
<flat> Proceed.
SHAMPOO: <Picard> Engage.
WASHUU turns back around and continues typing on her computer.
SHAMPOO: <Washu, thinking> Stupid twit.
WASHU: Very good! You get a cookie. [Washu types on her subspace laptop and a
cookie pops out of a and lands in Shampoo's hand.]
SHAMPOO: Thank you! [Eats cookie]
ADAM
reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring which he puts on his
index finger.
ALEX: [looks closer] Hey, it's a mood ring.
SAMANTHA: Now why is it turning black.
As he raises his hands another holographic keyboard
appears and he begins typing on it.
WASHU: <Sarcasm on high> Oh, and he has a subspace laptop as well! Does this
make him my son? Are we gonna find out that we're genetically related and that
he was the son taken away from me all those years ago in the OVA series? Or is
he the son of both me *and* Sailor Pluto, created from genetic samples taken
from us thousands of years ago?
SAMANTHA: Washu... stop or you're gonna hurt...
WASHU: <disturbingly calm> Adam? Why yes I shall.
SHAMPOO: Adam dead man.
ALEX: Dead man walking.
ADAM
Are you okay, Washuu? You see a bit--
WASHU: <normal> Actually, I see quite well. 100/100 vision.
ALEX: Isn't that supposed to be 20/20 vision?
WASHU: 100/100. I've got *very* good eyes.
WASHUU
I'm fine.
WASHU: Considering I'm watching a bad script for an even worst fanfic.
ADAM
<quick; quizzical> How old are you?
SAMANTHA: You idiot! Never ask a woman their age!
WASHUU stops for a moment, she is visibly pained for a second before
returning to her typing.
SHAMPOO: <Washu, thinking> Now, if Washu places Genetic Polarizing distablizer o
ver head then...
ALEX: <imitates a falling object then the impact of heavy metal on flesh>
SHAMPOO: <Washu> Perfect!
WASHU: You both get a cookie!
SAMANTHA: Now that's just encouraging bad behavior.
WASHU: Excuse me? Who's the kettle calling the pot black?
SAMANTHA: Heh... sorry.
WASHUU
I'm old. <beat> Much older than you'll
ever be.
WASHU: And I don't look a day over twelve. Pretty damn good, huh?
ADAM
Oh, of course. The many years you spent
as Kagato's prisoner are probably much
longer than I'll ever live. But you have
information that you've dated as thousands
of years old.
ALEX: But he could only tell that if he was tapping into Washu's databanks.
WASHU: Kill... kill...
SAMANTHA: If you keep this up, you're gonna have to leave.
WASHUU
<angered> *Very* old. Happy?
ADAM
You aren't like the rest of the people here.
SHAMPOO: In that she have IQ fifty thousand points strong.
WASHU: Fifty thousand and *one*.
You're not Juraian, not like Mihoshi, and I
don't think you're like Kagato --
ALEX: Please skip the research and get on with the story... no, hang on. I take
back what I said.
WASHUU
I am NOTHING like Kagato. In age, or species.
SAMANTHA: For Kagato was a member of the Evilus Scientificgus Genuises...
SHAMPOO: Much like Dr. Forrester and Vince Mcmahon.
SAMANTHA: Dr. Forrester, yeah, but not Vince. He's just a cheap rip off.
ADAM
Then how old are you... WHAT are you?
WASHU: What is this? Twenty questions? Is Barbara Walters going to come out now
and start conducting an interview?
She seems to think about it for a long time before answering.
SHAMPOO: <Washu> Ah-hah... So I get the disk and serum then proceed down to the
bottom lab, being wary of the zombies and plant monsters...
WASHUU
I'm Washuu.
SAMANTHA: <Borg> We are Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
ADAM
Then what does that mean?
ALEX: It's her name you dolt! [pause] I'm sorry. Adam is getting to me.
SHAMPOO: He get to all of us.
WASHUU doesn't move for several moments.
WASHU: <British> I'm not here. You can't see me.
ADAM
What do you know about Pluto?
SHAMPOO: It planet. Next.
WASHU
It's a planet.
SAMANTHA: Good call, Shampoo.
ADAM looks at her with his eyebrows raised.
ALEX: Hey, that's the Rock's trademark eyebrow arch! He's going to sue!
WASHUU
Oh, *HER*. <beat> You know I did detect
her... TAINT on you,
SHAMPOO: *Taint*?
WASHU: My god! These are supposed to be *my* lines? No way! I call for a rewri
te! A rewrite!!!
SAMANTHA: This is Adam we're talking about, Washu. He'll probably make it worst
the second time around.
but I assumed it was
a malfunction.
ALEX: Yes, that's generally the word I would use to describe Adam: Malfunction.
I really didn't think she'd
do it.
ADAM
Do what?
SHAMPOO: <Washu> Get pissed drunk and fool around with Time stream. What mess!!!
Had Dinosaurs in modern cities, cyborgs in Old West. Took weeks to fix!
WASHUU
Produce a child.
ADAM
Prod... <enraged> WHAT?!
SAMANTHA: Sweet Jesus!
WASHU: [frantically typing on laptop] I can't control it! It's too big!
SHAMPOO: Hit deck!!!
[Everyone dives for the floor as the theater violently shakes, a massive wave of
energy streaming from the screen, blowing away all the seats and nearly driving
the exit doors from their hinges. After a few seconds, everyone gets up,
clothing slightly torn, but none the worst for wear with the fanfic on pause.]
ALEX: Oh man! That was cool!
SHAMPOO: PC or explosion?
ALEX: Well, the explosion of course. The PC was just plain bad.
SAMANTHA: I hope we don't get too many more of those.
WASHU: [typing on laptop] Indeed. The theater might not be able to handle it.
[After a few seconds, four large love chairs pop out of a subspace hole.] Here,
we can sit on these. I'll fix this up later. [The four take their seats.] PLAY!
[The fanfic resumes.]
ALEX: I like this! [starts spinning around in the chair around] Whee!!!
Cut to the exterior of the Masaki household.
ALL: Ouch.
The snow is still
Falling heavily and a thick layer of it covers almost everything. A
Pair of figures walk up to the house and enter.
Cut to interior,
ALL: Ouch.
Mihoshi is watching television on the couch laughing
hysterically. YOUSHO walks in from the hall wearing a hood and cloak
that makes him look a lot like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SAMANTHA: <Yousho> Use the Light Wings, Tenchi.
KIYONNE walks in
behind him and cringes when she see's MIHOSHI.
WASHU: <Kiyone> That shirt simply does not go with those pants!
YOUSHO
Mihoshi! There's someone here to see
you.
ALEX: <Yousho> It's the mailman. You have acouple of overdue packages.
MIHOSHI
Who? <beat; yelling> KIYONNE!!
ALL: AHH!!
SHAMPOO: Audience now deaf.
ALEX: What?
SHAMPOO: Shampoo say audience deaf!!!
ALEX: The audience left?
SHAMPOO: No, audience deaf!!!
ALEX: I gotta take a breath?
SHAMPOO: *Sigh*
MIHOSHI jumps off the couch and runs over to grab KIYONNE.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> Mihoshi! Not there!
WASHU: Samantha!!!
She holds
her close and shakes her back and forth.
ALL: [everyone shakes about in their seats]
MIHOSHI
Oh Kiyonne! I missed you soooo much!
SAMANTHA: <Mihoshi> Especially on those cold, lonely nights... Then again, I had
Tenchi so... *BAP* Ouch!
WASHU: Cut it out.
I thought I'd never see you again I
was stranded here without my ship an
I lost my hypercube and...
ALEX: It's a‚¸Óîÿÿþÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ control cube, and where did she lose it
to, anyhow?
SHAMPOO: Through plothole.
KIYONNE
Mihoshi! Shut UP! <beat; softer> I'm
almost afraid to ask. <normal> Mihoshi
did YOU have anything to do with the
debris of Kagato's ship?
SHAMPOO: <Mihoshi> Well, Mihoshi did press big red button marked 'self-destruct'
so...
MIHOSHI
Yes! <beat;very quick> Oh, Kiyonne it
was so scary, we were on the ship and
all these big faces were attacking me
and then I was alone and big snakes
were after me and then Washuu broke
out of this crystal and destroyed the
the snakes but we were trapped an..
WASHU: What do you know? Adam got Mihoshi's character right for this set of
lines.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, *this* set. What about the next?
YOUSHO
<softly to KIYONNE> How much longer
will she go on like this?
SHAMPOO: Till she run out of breath.
KIYONNE
Until she's told us every little detail
from the event, and believe me, she
remembers EVERY detail.
ALEX: Mihoshi has photographic memory?
MIHOSHI
So then she made Aeka come over to the
reverse side and then he was gonna
destroy the Earth but Tenchi and Adam
showed up to stop him and...
SAMANTHA: [shudders] Please, don't remind me.
WASHU: Stopped him? Yeah right...
ALEX: Did me and Shampoo miss something?
WASHU: Fortunately, yeah.
KIYONNE, who looks like she's gonna have an aneurysm,
WASHU: Aneurysm... [types on her subspace laptop] Ah! That's when a blood vessel
in the brain pops.
ALEX: [winces] Sounds painful.
yells into
MIHOSHI'S ear causing her to fall backwards.
KIYONNE
MIHOSHI! SHUT UP!!
ALL: AHHH!!!
SAMANTHA: The audience is deaf again!
SHAMPOO: What?!
SAMANTHA: I said the audience is deaf again!
SHAMPOO: Why we shift left?
SAMANTHA: I said... ah, never mind.
SHAMPOO: This fanfic is a crime!!!
SAMANTHA: <groans>
MIHOSHI
Well, I'm so glad my best partner is
back!
ALEX: Best? I though Mihoshi was her *only* partner.
WASHU: A good topic to speculate on, but that's for later.
We can be a team again, Kiyonne!
We were the best!
SHAMPOO: Notice key word: were.
KIYONNE
<softly> Why couldn't you just stay dead?
WASHU: She wasn't dead to begin with.
Cut to Subspace, Washuu's lab.
ALL: Ouch.
WASHU: And that's Washu's subspace lab!
ADAM and WASHUU as still just where
we left them last except for the large vein bulging from ADAM'S head.
SHAMPOO: Oh! He have aneurysm.
ADAM
Her child?! <beat> Absolutely not! I'm
not.. I *CAN'T* be related to her.
SAMANTHA: I'll give Adam this: At least he dosen't want to believe his own plot
devices.
WASHU: I'm not giving Adam anything...
ALEX: Even the use of your lab?
WASHU: *Especially* the use of my lab.
Hell, I don't even know what she IS.
ALL: An Outer Senshi!!!
My mother was a magnificent person, she
died when I was a kid, but I KNEW HER.
SHAMPOO: Chance for insulting riff here. Anyone take it?
SAMANTHA: Naw... we're bitter but we're not vengeful.
WASHU: Speak for yourself.
ALEX: Washu? Do you want to leave now? You're getting really bad now.
WASHUU
Just the same, her presence almost
emanates from you.
ALEX: In the same kind of relationship that Tsunami and Sasami share?
WASHU: Gods, I hope not!
ADAM
I tell you, she is NOT my mother.
SAMANTHA: That sounds like an ABC movie of the week.
WASHUU
Well, it would be awfully strange for
her to break the rules, she must be
the strictest one of us all about rules.
SHAMPOO: Proper term OOC.
<beat> How do you know her exactly?
ALEX: <Adam> Well, I was watching TV one day and...
ADAM
I *don't*. <beat> I've been hearing her
voice recently,
WASHU: Uh-oh... time to call the nice people in white.
but she doesn't tell me
anything about her, just about some goal
I'm supposed to fulfill.
SAMANTHA: <growls> Which he never did.
And I met her
on the Souja with Tsunami,
WASHU: Which was actually on the ship, Tsunami.
she said that
I agreed to do work for her a long time
ago, then she showed me a scene I don't
even remember from my youth. <beat;soft>
it was just after my mother died too.
SAMANTHA: Well, he got one part of the recap right.
ALEX: Wow! Talk about inconsistency.
WASHUU
Hmm, very interesting. I'll have to do
additional tests,
SHAMPOO: <horrified> Please.... no ask for sample...
ALEX: Sample? [thinks over OVA series and then turns green] NOOO!!!
you could me more
interesting than you first appeared to
be.
ALL: @_@
SHAMPOO: Shampoo dizzy.
SAMANTHA: I think Adam misplaced a 'b' somewhere.
ADAM
So what is Pluto and why is she picking
on me?
ALL: An Outer Senshi!!!
WASHU: And she wouldn't pick on you. She's got better things to do like p
rotecting the timestream.
WASHUU
Pluto, <beat> is a planet.
ALEX: Gotta love the emotion in this story... don't cha?
WASHUU smiles evilly as ADAM looks at her scornfully
WASHU: I'm the god, I'm the god!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
just as the door
appears again and AEKA walks in.
AEKA
<calling> Oh Washuu!
ADAM keeps staring at WASHUU,
SAMANTHA: <Adam> I'm not touching you. Does this bug you?
who returns to her typing.
WASHU: Ah-hah! Only three thousand more bugs to work out and Window 98 will be
perfect!
AEKA walks
over to WASHUU and ADAM.
WASHUU
What do you want?
SAMANTHA: I can't say it. It's too easy!
AEKA
Washuu, I was wondering if you had
something I could plant Ryo-oh's seed
in that will be like it was on Jurai.
WASHUU
Of course I do.
WASHU: I'm Washu! The greatest Scientific genius in the Anime Multiverse!
ALEX: That line was coming up. I knew it was.
There's a short moment of silience.
ALL: [Remain quiet. A tumbleweed rolls by.]
ADAM
<laughing> Will you get Aeka the device
for Ryo-oh's seed?
WASHUU
Oh, okay.
ALL: ...
WASHU: Grrr...
SAMANTHA: Oh crap.
ALEX: Washu? Are you...
SHAMPOO: You have to ask?
WASHU: YOU STUPID... [Washu proceeds to go into a long scientific rant,
denouncing Adam on every level from the metaphysical to the molecular. After
about twenty minutes of ranting, she sits back down, pleased and more calmer
then she was before. The others are totally bewildered by the number of compl
icated and sophisticated terms she had used] Well, I feel better. [blinks] You
three okay?
OTHERS: @_@
Cut to dining room of the Masaki house,
ALL: Ouch.
a large table with KIYONNE,
MIHOSHI, YOUSHO, and TENCHI kneeling around it.
ALEX: Bow down before the mighty table!
SAMANTHA: Pray to your table god!!!
SHAMPOO: Table God supreme!
WASHU: You three are weird.
TENCHI
So you're Mihoshi's partner? I suppose
you're glad you've found her,
ALL: <everyone sniggers>
she's
been very upset about being stranded
here on Earth.
KIYONNE
<flat> Yes, I'm so glad.
SHAMPOO: <Tom Servo> Acting!
MIHOSHI
Kiyonne and I were the best Galaxy Police
Officers, first class, number one, the
top of our--
KIYONNE
I think they get the POINT Mihoshi.
<beat> Actually, I was on the way to
becoming sector chief when the
commissioner's wonderful granddaughter
was assigned to be the partner of the
best officer in the GP. Me.
ALEX: Whoa whoa whoa! Kiyone does not have that big an opinion of herself! In
fact, she said that she was near the top of her class upon graduation.
WASHU: Forget it Alex. Adam ain't listening.
So now
I'm a patrol officer, but I suppose I
should be grateful to have such a
caring partner as opposed to the
hundreds of officers I WOULD have had,
all under my command to keep an entire
sector in order instead of a small
patrol. But, I guess it was fate.
SHAMPOO: Oh no... run on sentence make no sense.
ALEX: I feel like this literature is slapping me about, in an intellectual sense
.
SAMANTHA: I feel like this *whole* fanfic is slapping me about.
WASHU: Me? I just feel insulted.
KIYONNE is visibly depressed by that statement.
WASHU: She finally read the fine print on the contract?
YOUSHO
So what are you going to do now that
you've found Mihoshi?
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> Kill her... D'OH! I spoke out loud again.
KIYONNE
Well, I've got to take her back to GP
Headquarters so she can testify as to
the destruction of her ship
ALEX: Even though it was sucked into a blackhole.
WASHU: Actually, that was one part Adam took from the TV series.
and so she
can deliver her report on the death of
Kagato.
SHAMPOO: And then Death of Oscar and Death of Kintobor and Death of Samantha
Jones...
SAMANTHA: Hey!
MIHOSHI
Ooohhh, but Kiyonne, I want us to stay
here, on Earth.
SHAMPOO: <Mihoshi> Please? With sprinkles on top?
KIYONNE
We can't, we have to go to HQ to get
our assignment.
SAMANTHA: Actually, a better line would be that they had to report back in.
MIHOSHI
But, but Kiyonne, everyone is here. We
can't leave them. We can't, we can't we
can't!
ALEX: Oh no! She's gone into full crying C-ko mode!
KIYONNE
Mihoshi! Just be quiet! You don't have a
choice!
SHAMPOO: <Kiyone> We stay in script for fanfic together and suffer!
AEKA walks in from WASHUU'S door,
SAMANTHA: So she's got Ryoko's phasing ability?
followed by ADAM.
SHAMPOO: *THUMP*
WASHU: But it appears that Adam doesn't.
At the same
time, SASAMI and RYO-OHKI come inside from the cold snow.
ALEX: <sarcastic> Wow! Snow is cold? I didn't know that!
SAMANTHA: Tone it down little brother.
She
shakes off her clothes and takes off her boots before noticing
KIYONNE.
WASHU: I guess all those hours of watching cartoons are starting to take its
effect on her.
SASAMI
Oh, hello.
TENCHI
Oh, this is Kiyonne, she's Mihoshi's
partner from the Galaxy Police. <beat>
SHAMPOO: <Tenchi> And new girlfriend!
ALEX: No way! If anything, Tenchi will end up with Ryoko!
SHAMPOO: No! Tenchi be with Kiyone! Least expected relationship!
ALEX: Ryoko! Tenchi will end up with Ryoko!
SHAMPOO: Kiyone!
ALEX: Ryoko!
SHAMPOO: Kiyone!
ALEX: Ryoko!
SHAMPOO: Kiyone!
ALEX: Ryoko!
SHAMPOO: Ryoko!
ALEX: Kiyone!
SHAMPOO: See? Told you.
ALEX: D'OH!!!
Kiyonne, this is Princess Sasami,
Princess Aeka, and Adam.
ADAM waves meekly.
SAMANTHA: Gee... I wonder why?
ALEX: Well he was probably tired from all that typing.
SAMANTHA: So *that's* what they call it these days...
ALEX: Huh?
AEKA gives a slight bow and SASAMI waves her hand
cheerily.
WASHU: GYAH! Put your hand back on! You're spraying blood everywhere!
OTHERS: WASHU!
WASHU: What? I can't have any fun?
SASAMI
Hi!
AEKA
It's a pleasure to meet you.
ADAM
Uh, Yo.
SAMANTHA: Oh no! Adam is channeling Scott Hall!
SHAMPOO: Any moment now, he take survey.
ALEX: <Scott Hall> Survey says... one for the good guys!
KIYONNE starts to wave then stops and freezes.
WASHU: Stop! Hammer time!
[Everyone gets up and starts dancing for a few seconds and then sit back down.]
KIYONNE
Wait! You mean THE Princesses to the
throne of the House of Jurai? <beat>
ALEX: No, the other princesses... these are the replacements.
And they were here, all along with,
<turns> YOU?
SAMANTHA: Ugh... bad lesbian image there...
WASHU: What is with you? Your mind's in the gutter!
ALEX: I think big sister is *still* trying for next years best Crow/Martaism.
SHAMPOO: Her and Crow and Marta and Nash and Gigan and Ryan and... way too many
people to list.
MIHOSHI smiles innocently. Suddenly RYOUKO appears in the rafters
and flies down and smothers TENCHI.
ALEX: I didn't know Tenchi's blanket could do that.
WASHU: With me in the house, *anything* is possible.
AEKA quickly turns red.
SHAMPOO: She gonna blow!
RYOUKO
Oh Tenchi! Please, please, PLEASE,
make the snow stop. I hate the cold
weather!
SAMANTHA: Well, she's certainly found a good way to warm herself up!
SHAMPOO: That bad, Sam.
SAMANTHA: It's true... [sighs and happily thinks about Bret]
KIYONNE
<stands; louder> AND the Space Pirate
Ryouko? Attacker of Jurai 700 years
Ago? <beat> In the SAME HOUSE? <beat>
With YOU? <beat; yelling> AND NO ONE
SEE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS?
SHAMPOO: You think that bad, should see Tendo Dojo some days.
ALEX: Not to mention Ushio's shrine.
WASHU: Heh. NERV's Geofront ain't so nice and calm either.
SAMANTHA: Plus, you can never forget Captain Tylor's ship!
Everyone looks at KIYONNE and shakes their heads slowly.
WASHU: <imitates squeaky gate opening>
She slumps
down onto the floor and sighs. ADAM walks over to her and places a
hand on her shoulder.
SAMANTHA: Oh great! First Ryoko and now Kiyone. Can't Adam stop with just *one*
girl?
SHAMPOO: Chris Caldwall didn't.
SAMANTHA: <growls> How can I forget.
AEKA rushes over to TENCHI and pulls RYOUKO
away from him.
ALEX: <Mike Tenay> And puts her up in the torture rack! It's all over for Ryoko!
SAMANTHA: Hey, I'm the one who does the wrestling riffs around here!
ALEX: You were slow.
ADAM
You've got to find a way to get rid of
stress. This raving and yelling like a
lunatic is very unbecoming.
ALL: <laugh their heads off>
WASHU: Excuse me? But who was just ranting and raving that a certain Senshi
wasn't their mom?
SHAMPOO: He big hypocrite!
SAMANTHA: Bet yah later on he'll say he hates violence as well.
RYOUKO
<yelling> Let me be Princess!
ALEX: <British, indignant> Unhand me you foul peasant!
AEKA
<yelling> You get your hands off of
Tenchi!
SHAMPOO: Ryoko no longer holding Tenchi, Aeka. Calm down now.
RYOUKO
I'll do what I want Princess and you'll
not stop me.
WASHU: Ryoko is starting to sound more and more out of character. Or at least
her lines are.
SAMANTHA: Yeah. In fact, I could mention a few other words Ryoko would use.
ALEX: But then we would lose the PG-13 rating.
OTHERS: [look at Alex]
ALEX: What can I say? I know my sister.
AEKA
If you don't let go of him I'll be forced
to make you let go.
SHAMPOO: Silly Aeka. Ryoko no longer hanging onto Tenchi!
RYOUKO
Oh yeah? You and what army?
ALEX: At last! A Ryokoish line... A line from Tenchi Muyo in Love, but a
Ryokoish line nonetheless.
The bickering between the two continues in the background
ADAM
<sighs> Of course, around here, it's
almost normal.
WASHU: True.
Cut to Masaki house exterior,
ALL: Ouch!
a man in a trench coat is walking up to
the house.
SAMANTHA: Oh no! It's Craig from A-ko: The College Years!
Fade to interior
ALL: <sigh in relief>
SHAMPOO: Thank goodness for that. More cutting and we be badly hurt.
as NOBUYUKI walks into the house with a
briefcase in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. As he's
taking his shoes off, TENCHI walks into the foyer.
TENCHI
Oh, hey dad! I thought I heard you come
in.
ALEX: So Tenchi has enhanced senses too?
NOBUYUKI quickly hides the flowers behind his back. He smiles
nervously.
WASHU: <Noboyuki> No, I'm not holding any flowers! No, not me! None at all!
NOBUYUKI
Yeah, just got back from the office. I
had to work on a house design that has
to be done in a couple of days.
SAMANTHA: Then shouldn't he be working overtime?
TENCHI
Even today? In this weather?
SHAMPOO: He work inside, Tenchi.
NOBUYUKI
Well, some people think I don't have a
personal life, they insist that I get
these things done in such a short time.
SAMANTHA: In a matter of speaking, Noboyuki really doesn't have a social life.
ALEX: Especially when you consider how big a pervert he is.
SHAMPOO: That on screen, Alex. Noboyuki actually ladies man in real life.
I've designed 6 houses this month alone!
YOUSHO sticks his head into the foyer behind TENCHI.
ALL: GYAH!!!
SHAMPOO: AH! There blood pouring on floor!
SAMANTHA: Oh man! When did this turn into an anti-fic?
ALEX: [turning green] Please stop...
WASHU: And don't even *think* of describing Kagato's Revenge to him. Misato had
a heck of a time cleaning up the bathroom.
SAMANTHA: Okay, okay, I won't!
YOUSHO
Ahhh, Nobuyuki. Going to drink some sake
with me tonight?
SHAMPOO: [quickly covers Samantha's mouth] Vigilante no say! No say it!
SAMANTHA: Mmmmpppfffggghhh...
ALEX: Why yes, that would be pretty bad to say right here.
NOBUYUKI stands holding the briefcase in front of the flowers and
Starts walking up the stairs.
WASHU: Gee, are you inconspicuous enough?
ALEX: He's not attracting any attention, is he?
NOBUYUKI
Uhh, yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
I've got to go put this in my room now,
bye.
SAMANTHA: [struggles free of Shampoo] Look, I won't say anything! Sheesh! Give
me some credit.
SHAMPOO: Okay.
TENCHI and YOUSHO watch NOBUYUKI smile nervously as he rushes up the
stairs holding his briefcase in front of him.
TENCHI
What's wrong with him?
SHAMPOO: <Tenchi> It almost as if he try hide something.
YOUSHO
The mind goes quick for those who don't
use it properly.
ALEX: Ah, the wise words of Yousho. We shall never forget them.
YOUSHO ducks back away from the foyer. TENCHI turns around and stares
into the doorway strangely.
WASHU: Hmm... Tenchi *has* been hitting the same stuff as Misato has.
TENCHI
And what's that supposed to mean?
Cut to subspace, Washuu's Lab.
ALL: Ouch.
ADAM and WASHUU are both typing
furiously on holographic keyboards.
WASHU: Subspace laptops!
It's dark all around them,
ALEX: Then how can they see the laptops?
SAMANTHA: Shh... you're trying to make sense of this.
the sounds of machines clicking and popping can be heard in the
background.
WASHU: Believe me when I say that if anything pops or clicks in my lab, then
it's a good time to get out.
SHAMPOO: Remember that when next time come over.
Simultaneously they turn around and grin.
SAMANTHA: Washu grinning is bad. Washu grinning alongside an infamous Author
Avatar is even worst.
WASHU: Oh come on... like I would *ever* let Adam work in my lab... and not e
verything I make turns out bad.
ALEX: What about Mecha-Washu?
WASHU: Look, that was in the TV series, where they called for some of my best
stuff to malfunction. And besides, Mecha-Washu going wrong was Mihoshi's fault!
Pan around
them to show the large machine that is in front of them.
SHAMPOO: *GASP* That new improved machine that goes PING!
WASHUU
It's almost finished! <laughs>
ADAM
It just needs to be tuned to the right
frequency and tested. <beat> Which, of
course could take a while.
ALEX: <Washu> Well if *someone* would stop playing Doom on *their* subspace
laptop, then we could get something done.
WASHUU
It's simple! For a genius like me!
WASHU: Got that right!
MIHOSHI (O.S.)
So what does it do?
WASHUU
Well, it takes what you've always
desired and...
SHAMPOO: Isn't there saying about getting what wish for?
ALEX: And I have this feeling that Adam is gonna describe that to us in *so*
many ways...
ADAM and WASHUU quickly stare at each other then slowly turn to face
MIHOSHI who's smiling behind them.
SAMANTHA: So they turned away from her...
SHAMPOO: No. They face Mihoshi, but smile behind them.
ALEX: So the lips were disembodied? Cool!
WASHU: You three are reading into this far too much.
ALEX: Well, we're bored.
WASHUU jumps behind ADAM and
sticks her head out from behind him.
ALEX: What's she doing behind him?
SAMANTHA: With Adam writing this, I honestly think you don't want to know.
WASHU: Oh thank you for that wonderful mental image.
SHAMPOO: [Has turned green and fallen on the floor]
WASHUU
AHHH!! How'd you get in here!?
MIHOSHI
I used the door.
SHAMPOO: [gets back in her seat]
ADAM
<slowly> You used the door?
SHAMPOO: You no know what door is? Shampoo weep for you, Adam.
ALEX: Really?
SHAMPOO: No.
WASHUU
You can't use the door to get in here.
You have to go through subspace first!
WASHU: Even though my lab is in a subspace pocket...
SAMANTHA: It makes no sense, really.
MIHOSHI looks like she's confused beyond her brain power.
ALL: BOO!!!
Washuu
steps out from behind ADAM and looks at MIHOSHI.
WASHUU
So what do you want?
SAMANTHA: [receives glares from the others] I ain't gonna say anything!
MIHOSHI
I just wanted to know what you were
working on in here.
ADAM
<quickly> You wouldn't understand it.
ALEX: Grrr...
SHAMPOO: And here we see Adam's dislike of Mihoshi arise.
WASHUU and ADAM look at each other and smile for a second.
WASHU: All of this smiling is disturbing me.
SAMANTHA: You too? Good, for a moment there, I thought *I* was the only one
thinking along those lines.
WASHUU
So get ooooout! You'll ruin something
in here!
SHAMPOO: Perfectly understandable. Mihoshi's screen-self very clumsy.
They turn back to see MIHOSHI is no longer standing there and has
moved over to the machine.
MIHOSHI
So what does this do?
ALEX: No! Leave the machine that goes PING alone!
MIHOSHI presses a button
SAMANTHA: <Dr. Forrester> Push the button, Frank.
and the panel explodes with wires and
circuitry. ADAM and WASHUU dash over to her.
SHAMPOO: They *are* the Flash!
WASHUU
NO! Don't touch anything!!
ADAM
MIHOSHI, STOP!!
WASHU: Hammer time!
[Everyone gets up and dances wildly for a few seconds before sitting back down.]
ADAM pulls MIHOSHI from the panel as a few others explode in a flash
of light.
SAMANTHA: And fire and sparks. Can't forget that.
WASHUU puts her hands to her head and pull on her hair
then turns to look at MIHOSHI.
ALEX: Can you do all that while chewing gum?
WASHU: Why of course I can!
ADAM quickly begins pressing buttons
on the console and looking at the circuitry.
SHAMPOO: <Adam> No idea what Adam doing, but urge to push buttons overwhelming!
WASHUU
Mihoshi! What did you do? Don't touch
ANYTHING when you're in here!
MIHOSHI
Sorr--
ADAM
Shit!
WASHU: <Mihoshi> Actually I was about to say sorry, but that word about sums up
the situation.
WASHUU
What?
ALEX: If you don't know what it is, then I ain't explaining it.
ADAM
The entire sub-matrix is trashed! Not
to mention the controls for the
dimensional analyzer and conformer.
I'll take me a day to rebuild all this
damage.
SHAMPOO: <Adam> And Star Trek Technobabble start get out of hand!
WASHUU
Nooo! My machine! Mihoshi! Get ou--
<beat> Mihoshi?
WASHUU and ADAM look around but Mihoshi isn't around. They look at
each other in confusion.
WASHU: More like fear. You don't want someone like Mihoshi running around in a
lab full of sensitive and dangerous equipment.
Cut to Masaki household interior,
ALL: Ouch.
living room. YOUSHO and NOBUYUKI
are sitting on the couch drinking sake.
SAMANTHA: <singing, drunk> I's the boys dat sells the boat... I's the boys that
sells her...
They are watching the snow
Fall through the sliding glass door which is currently open. A
Really thick layer of snow covers the nighttime landscape.
WASHU: That's one heck of a blizzard they're having.
ALEX: Makes you wonder why they're keeping the door open. All the snow and wind
coming in must be freezing them!
YOUSHO
A lot has happened these last few days,
Nobuyuki.
NOBUYUKI
Yes, a lot grandpa.
SHAMPOO: Note how emotional scene is.
SAMANTHA: What emotion?
SHAMPOO: Exactly.
YOUSHO
You know, even though you aren't my son,
you're a lot like me.
NOBUYUKI
Yes, I've noticed that. <beat> I used to
be a lot like her as well.
ALEX: This is a complete rip off of Tenchi TV episode number...
WASHU: You might as well stop comparing this to the shows. You'll only hurt
yourself.
ALEX: But I'm bored!
YOUSHO
Yes, my daughter was a lot like you. I
Think she loved you because of it.
WASHU: But isn't it the man who's supposed to change in a marriage?
ALEX: No not always. Right? <silence> Right?
NOBUYUKI
<soft> Achika.
NOBUYUKI gets up from the couch and walks out onto the porch and
holds his cup of sake out in the snow. Several flakes fall into
it.
SAMANTHA: And now it's watered down.
OTHERS: <groans at the bad joke>
NOBUYUKI
She loved the snow. <beat> I hated it.
SHAMPOO: No like snow either. It melt on you and then curse kicks in.
ALEX: That has got to suck!
YOUSHO gets up to stand next to NOBUYUKI, he also holds out his sake.
SAMANTHA: Watered down sake is not on my list of favorite drinks.
YOUSHO
I never understood how she could love
the snow so much when I hated it. <beat>
but you know, I don't hate it anymore.
WASHU: <Yousho> Especially after we sat down and discussed our problems at
length, at last coming to a reasonable and intellectual conclusion.
NOBUYUKI
I don't hate it anymore either. When I
got up this morning and saw it, I could
only think of how beautiful she looked
in the snow. How much she loved it, how
much it pained me to see her...
NOBUYUKI drinks the rest of his sake and looks down at the ground.
SAMANTHA: [wipes a tear away] I'm gonna need some drinks after this...
ALEX: <concerned> Big sister?
SAMANTHA: I'm fine... [wipes another tear away] Just fine...
ALEX: [Goes to say something but thinks better of it, a determined look growing
on his face.]
YOUSHO
It was just like today that it happened.
The snow came down furiously, but she
kept smiling. <beat> Nobuyuki?
WASHU: Guess he got buried from all that snow coming in through the door.
Cut to NOBUYUKI,
ALL: OUCH!
still with his head down. Pan downwards
SAMANTHA: <Director> Down, down, down, down...
SHAMPOO: *THUMP*
SAMANTHA: <Director> Not that far down.
to show the
empty cup of sake he's holding in his hand. A teardrop falls into
the cup and settles in the center. Shortly after, a snowflake joins
it, mixing with it until the snowflake is gone.
NOBUYUKI
<strained> She smiled till the end. She
said to me, 'Time is short, but I lived
my life to the fullest, that's all that
really matters.'
[Both Samantha and Alexander wipe a tear away, obviously touched.]
SHAMPOO: That beautiful. So what on Fight Scene?
WASHU: D'OH! You just ruined it!
SAMANTHA: Not to mention make a shameless plug.
YOUSHO
She always used to say that. From the
first day you two started going out
regularly. I used to think it was
that sparkle of joy she had when she
was with you talking. But...
ALEX: It was really from the time she had stuck her finger into a plug-in.
YOUSHO drinks the rest of his sake and turns around to go in the
House. NOBUYUKI looks up at the snow, his eyes are slightly wet.
SAMANTHA: No duh. He was just crying.
He
turns and follows YOUSHO back inside closing the door behind him. Pan
left to see ADAM, standing beside the house, holding a mess of
wires and machinery,
SHAMPOO: Poor Playstation. Adam no get past Guardhouse with Leon.
WASHU: Oh! A product plug and obscure game reference in one shot! Very good!
his eyes are wide and he looks a bit shaken.
ALEX: <Adam> I'm... f... f... freezing... o... o... out... h... h... here...
The
top of his head is covered in snow.
ADAM
<whispered> Tenchi's mother...
PLUTO (O.S.)
She died from a massive immune system
shut down, in this house, on November
tenth, 1985.
ALEX: That's a very debatable date...
WASHU: As well as wrong. Who wants to debate the death of a kind and caring
mother?
ADAM spins on his foot to see PLUTO standing in her sailor fuku,
holding onto her staff.
SHAMPOO: And also freezing butt off.
ALEX: Well those fuku's are pretty short... [blushes] Uh... not that I look or
anything! Really, I don't!
WASHU: It's okay, Alex. We know you ain't no pervert.
ALEX: [breaths a sigh of relief]
SAMANTHA: And if you were... [cracks knuckles] I would have to show you the err
or of your ways.
ALEX: YIPE!!!
Strangely, none of the snow seems to be
falling on her.
PLUTO
For all intense purposes,
SAMANTHA: Not just any purposes, but INTENSE purposes.
WASHU: Haught.
SHAMPOO: INSANE!
ALEX: The Mystery Wrestling Theater 3000 sketch, ladies and gentlemen!
she died
from what seemed like, old age. She
was thirty-two.
ADAM
What really happened to her?
WASHU: The usage of Jurai energy in a body unused to it caused her to fall ill,
thus...
SAMANTHA: I know Washu.
ALEX: We saw the movie.
PLUTO
She spend all of her energy when she
was in her teens. She had none left
to continue living.
SHAMPOO: Well, someone no see Tenchi movie.
ADAM
<slowly> All her energy. <beat> How?
PLUTO
You'll find out.
ALL: ... NOOOOO!!!
SAMANTHA: HE'S GONNA SCREW UP A GREAT MOVIE!!!
ALEX: AND INVOLVE THE OUTER SENSHI OF TIME!!!
WASHU: AND DO NOTHING TO HELP!!!
SHAMPOO: Shampoo glad she no be here for all parts of Full Circle. Not effected
as much...
ALEX: Well, I haven't and I'm pretty affected.
WASHU: But you're a hopeless Tenchi fanboy.
ALEX: Well, that's true.
ADAM
Great. <beat; annoyed> So why are you
here now? Come to give me more cryptic
information that won't be useful until
it's too late?
SAMANTHA: Did you change the channel, Washu? This sounds allot like a line from
the X-Files.
WASHU: Not that I know of.
PLUTO
I know what you and Washuu are building.
Do not continue.
ADAM
Why?
SHAMPOO: Why ask why? Anipike dry.
ALEX: That was... uh... big sister?
SAMANTHA: Well... it's not *technically* a product plug...
WASHU: But it comes close...
PLUTO
The very fabric of the space time
continuum relies on the fact that only
those who fully understand it, may
manipulate it.
SHAMPOO: Nuts! Shampoo sense rip-off of Star Trek plot!
WASHU: Actually, since this is no doubt going to crossover with Tenchi Muyo in
Love, it'll more likely be a rip off of the plot from Back to the Future.
Washuu would know that
if...
ADAM
Don't trail off like that!
SAMANTHA: What do you mean trail off? You butted in!
Why doesn't
she know? And why does she think that
I'm your son?
SHAMPOO: Twisted plot device... next!
PLUTO
Modifications were necessary. Side
effects can be mistaken for genetic
similarities.
ALEX: And if you put a quarter in her mouth, another fortune will pop out!
WASHU: Gotta love how the script captures the character, don't ya?
ADAM
Modifications?! What do you mean?
SAMANTHA: You know, a tweak here, twist there, some oil over in there...
modifications
PLUTO waits a moment then turns and waves her staff
SAMANTHA: Into Adam's head... Sorry, couldn't pass it up.
until a large
portal appears.
ADAM
Don't you dare ignore me! What am I to
You? Your puppet?
WASHU: That's a good puppet! I don't see any strings anywhere.
PLUTO
You are my messenger. <beat> It's what
you agreed to be.
SHAMPOO: Pluto's messaging system! Guaranteed to get you any message, anywhere,
and anytime.
PLUTO steps into the portal.
ADAM
<yelling> Why don't I remember then?!
ALL: Ouch!
ALEX: This is getting painful on the ears.
The portal closes with Pluto inside. ADAM blinks a few times then
shakes his head
ALL: GYAH!
SAMANTHA: Please put it back on! You're spraying blood everywhere!
so all the snow falls from the top.
ADAM
Why am I always the one who doesn't
know what's going on?
WASHU: Pure irony considering he's the AA.
Cut to space, interior of the Yagami.
ALL: Ouch.
SHAMPOO: Shampoo glad we not farther to go. That hurt!
KIYONNE and MIHOSHI are
sitting in the cockpit of the ship as it orbits the earth. They are
both wearing their GP uniforms.
KIYONNE
Yukinojo, open Hyperlink-Comm to GP
headquarters.
ALEX: <Kiyone> And see what's on the Sci-Fi channel, while you're at it.
YUKINOJO descends from the top bubble and stops right in front of
KIYONNE.
WASHU: <imitates screeching brakes>
FUKINOJO
Hypercomm active. Vocal password
Identification requested.
KIYONNE
'She had so many children, she knew
not what to do.'
SAMANTHA: Now how does a person from an alien race know about an old child's
rhyme from Earth?
ALEX: I'm wondering why the password ain't "It's all Mihoshi's fault!"
FUKINOJO
Password confirmed. Hypercomm open.
KIYONNE
Good. Transmit Mihoshi's report.
SHAMPOO: 1 K... 2 K... 3K...
WASHU: At this rate they'll be there all day.
ALEX: Should have gotten the 56K modem.
Suddenly a big screen appears, floating in mid air. The GP SECTION
CHIEF is on it.
CHIEF
Good job Kiyonne! Oh, I see you are
Both there! That's great.
KIYONNE
Why is that great?
CHIEF
Twelve hours ago, the Galaxy Police
battleship Shunga was stolen and is
reported to be heading in that direction
of the galaxy. I want you two to remain
there incase the ship does come to the
Sol System.
ALEX: Wow, gee... he managed to screw up the end of that Tenchi TV episode. How
does Adam do it?
SAMANTHA: A creative and imaginative mind.
SHAMPOO: How you say that with straight face.
SAMANTHA: It wasn't easy.
KIYONNE
Wha? <beat> WHY? This is a backwater
planet in the middle of nowhere! We
don't even have direct jurisdiction
over this area of space! It's a protected
region by the House of Jurai!
WASHU: Sorry Kiyone, Fate here again. Gotta slap you in the face again.
CHIEF
We've already gotten permission from
Jurai. They agree that the Shunga should
be recovered and any way that might be
achieved should be used.
ALEX: Why do I get this bad feeling that Adam is gonna be essential in retaking
the Shunga?
SHAMPOO: Shh! Might give author idea.
MIHOSHI
Yea! Now we don't have to leave Kiyonne!
We can stay with Tenchi and Sasami and Aeka
And Adam and Yousho and Ryouko and...
WASHU: <Kiyone> Inane... prattling... mind... going... *THUMP*
MIHOSHI keeps rattling off the names of the people who live in the
Masaki household while KIYONNE keeps talking to the CHIEF.
SAMANTHA: <Kiyone> I'm going to kill you for this, ya know.
KIYONNE
Are you sure we have to stay here?
CHIEF
Oh I'm positive. By the way, what's in
this report?
SHAMPOO: <Kiyone> Oh nothing much, just... stuff.
KIYONNE
The standard Mihoshi-style report. It
contains the events leading up to and
the actual death of Kagato.
CHIEF
SHE was reponsable?
WASHU: <Kiyone> No, she was responsible. As for reponsable, that's another
matter entirely.
KIYONNE
Not directly. From what I glimpsed at
the report, Tenchi and Adam did most of
the work.
SAMANTHA: But Adam didn't do anything!!!
ALEX: Calm down big sister! You'll blow a blood vessel!
CHIEF
Whatever.
SHAMPOO: <Chief> Chief only Section Chief of Galaxy Police. Not like details
*important* or anything.
You better get going. I'll
Make sure this report gets sent to Jurai
as well. They've been probably waiting for a
conclusion to this for a long time. Section
Chief, Out.
SAMANTHA: Okay... *POW*
WASHU: I don't think he meant it that way.
SAMANTHA: But he's out.
The screen disintegrates into nothingness. KIYONNE turns to MIHOSHI,
who's still talking to herself.
KIYONNE
<frustrated> MIHOSHI! He's gone!
MIHOSHI
<confused> What?
KIYONNE hits her forehead with her hand.
ALEX: <Kiyone> Oh my migraine. Where's the Tylenol?
Cut to Subspace, Washuu's lab.
ALL: Ouch.
Everyone is gathered in the darkness:
TENCHI, RYOUKO, AEKA, SASAMI, YOUSHO, NOBUYUKI, KIYONNE, and MIHOSHI.
They are all looking around, a bit confused.
SHAMPOO: <Adam> Okay, this casting call for OVA of Full Circle. Be needing you,
you, you, you...
WASHUU (O.S.)
And now, I'd like to present to you, my
<soft> second <normal> greatest creation
of all time!
WASHU: The first being Ryoko!
ADAM (O.S.)
Ever wish things had gone a bit different?
ALL: Yes.
Ever wish that you could go back and
change a few things?
ALL: No because then we would be caught in the cheesiest of plots, a time
paradox.
Ever wish you could
have lived in a time and place where you
were a ancient Samurai warrior, or a space
faring explorer? Well, wish no longer!
ALEX: Nuts! I was wishing for this to end.
WASHUU (O.S.)
Introducing the Multidimensional Time And
Space Manipulator!
WASHU: [is shaking in her seat in barely contained fury]
SHAMPOO: Oh no...
SAMANTHA: Not good... not good!
ALEX: Should we dive for cover now?
WASHU: IT'S CALLED THE DIMENSIONAL CAUSE AND EFFECT CONTROLLER!!! GET IT
RIGHT!!! WATCH THE TV SERIES FOR ONCE YOU BLITHERNG BABOON!!!
SAMANTHA: *whistle* That's the maddest I've ever seen you in a *long* time.
Lights suddenly come on and we see WASHUU and ADAM standing beside
the large machine from earlier. A few repairs can be seen from where
MIHOSHI had destroyed things, but otherwise the thing looks sleek
and new.
ALEX: No offense, but if I see one of your inventions being held together by
Duct tape and you're about to use it, then I'm leaving.
ALL
Oooooohhh!
SHAMPOO: <All> We bunch of easily impressed people. Ohhhh...
WASHUU
My Time and Space Manipulator
WASHU: Dimensional Cause and Effect Controller!!!
will create
a world to your design.
SAMANTHA: A world with the hot springs from El Hazard and Bret... *happy sigh*
ALEX: A world where *I'm* Deb's husband... *depressed sigh*
WASHU: You both know you're speaking aloud...
[Samantha and Alex both blush bright red.]
Just tell it
what you want and it will make it for you.
No work, no regrets, just perfection! And
It's all brought to you by the genius of
WASHUU!!
WASHU: Damn rights!
SHAMPOO: Shampoo sense ego growth.
WASHU: Hey, I'm just agreeing with the good lines.
Everyone looks at the machine in awe, then, with hunger.
SHAMPOO: Red button looks like cherry tidbit.
ALEX: That control dial would make a great hamburger.
SAMANTHA: And that lever looks like a hotdog.
WASHU: Hey! Don't be looking at my invention that way!
ALEX: Well, we're hungry.
RYOUKO
Ooh! Let me try first!
SHAMPOO: <Ryoko> Buttons! Urge... to push... buttons... overwhelming...
AEKA
No, Let me!
SASAMI
Oh, I want to give it a try!
MIHOSHI
Let me have a go at it!
WASHUU suddenly stand in front of them all.
WASHU: STOP... HAMMER TIME!
[Everyone gets up and starts dancing for a bit before sitting back down.]
WASHUU
NO!! <beat> No one gets to touch it
until it's fine tuned. And definitely
not without proper supervision by
myself!
SAMANTHA: Then why show it now?
WASHU: To give the people a taste of what my genius can do!
ALL
Awwww.
RYOUKO (V.O.)
That's okay. I'll just wait unit you're
asleep. Then I'll get MY go at it, heh
Heh haa!
SHAMPOO: Uh... Ryoko? You spoke out loud again.
AEKA (V.O.)
I'll do it at night. Then I'll erase
That dreaded Ryouko from the entire
universe and Tenchi will be all to myself.
Oh, Hohohohohohohoh.
ALEX: These girls have some major possession problems.
SAMANTHA: Oh, like you wouldn't like having a bunch of girls fawning over you.
ALEX: [blushes] It's not like that!
SAMANTHA: Sure little brother, sure...
SASAMI (V.O.)
I wonder what it would be like to be a
Superhero like in those TV shows. Maybe
I'll just look at it when everyone has
gone to sleep.
WASHU: Don't say it, Alex. It's not worth it.
MIHOSHI (V.O.)
Ooh! I want to create a world where
Kiyonne and I are together forever and
We'll always be happy!
SHAMPOO: Is that not reality already?
KIYONNE (V.O.)
I need to create a world where Mihoshi
never existed. If only to experience
that for a while.
WASHUU (V.O.)
There, that should have sufficently
scared them. They'll never think of
touching it when I'm not around.
WASHU: Oh no... I can't see what's coming from a mile away.
ALEX: About as subtle as a sledgehammer to the head, that foreshadowing is.
Everyone lets our a short chuckle at once, then quickly quiets down.
All at once they all leave in different directions. Except for
ADAM, who's standing by the machine staring at them all leave.
WASHU: Oh, for crying out loud! Stop playing pong on it already!
ADAM
I get the feeling it's going to be a
rough night. I wish I knew what they
all were thinking though.
SHAMPOO: You no telepathic? That good.
Fade to black.
Caption:
SAMANTHA: Hmmm... [reading] I know I have no chance of this being turned into a
TV show, but I'll keep writing these fanfics as scripts nonetheless.
FULL CIRCLE: The Tenchi Muyou Episodes
Episode 7: Time and Space Adventures
ALL: AAHHHH!!!
WASHU: We knew this was coming, but it still hurt!
Coming Soon.
ALL: AHHH!!!
Authors Notes:
SAMANTHA: None! Hopefully there'll be none!
*whew* Got that one finished finally.
ALEX: Well, you didn't have to go through all that trouble for us.
I put in LOADS of
material that lead up to the next few episodes.
SAMANTHA: Oh, there's loads of something in that fanfic.. and it smells allot
like...
SHAMPOO: No go there!
For those of you
who are keeping track of these things, this episode is actually the
combination of OAV 7,TV 5, TV 9, and TV 11. See ya in the next
episode!
ALL: AAAHHH!!!
ALEX: Washu, Adam's scaring me!
WASHU: He's scaring all of us, Alex.
"Tenchi Muyou" was created and is owned by Masaki Kanajaki, and
was released by Pioneer Entertainment in association with AIC. All
references and characters from this series is held under copyright by
its respective owners.
SHAMPOO: Who come to sue his butt...
WASHU: Now how dead is that horse?
Adam Leigh is part of "Legend Equinox" which was created and owned
by Adam Chris Leigh
ALEX: <Adam> You see? He doesn't have my middle name! it's not me!
and was published through multiple sources available
through the Internet. All usage of this character is restricted to is
owner and is Copyright ©1998 by Tempest Creations, a division of
Starlight Pictures.
SAMANTHA: Copyrighted bull...
WASHU: STOP!
SAMANTHA: What? It's the truth and you know it!
All Rights Reserved.
Adam Chris Leigh
Omicron@sprynet.com
WASHU: Prepare the e-mail bombs!
ALEX: <shocked> You wouldn't!
WASHU: <slyly> Wouldn't I?
SHAMPOO: But you group member who hold up moral standards.
SAMANTHA: Yeah... in a way...
WASHU: Thanks, I think.
ALEX: Well, it's over and we survived. Lets go get a drink.
SHAMPOO: Sound good to me.
[They all get up and leave the theater.]
*****
Alexander, Shampoo, and Washu all sat down at their usual spots beside the
theater doors and watched Samantha as she walked over to the Comm Unit and
turned it on. She waited patiently for it to hook up with the SON and signaled
to Rei for a beer. After a few minutes, Bret's face appeared on the screen and
the two began talking again.
"She's certainly getting some use out of that," Misato commented as she a
pproached the table.
"Uh-huh," the review group chorused.
"So how was today's fanfic?" Misato asked. "And would any of you like something
to drink?"
"Script takes away emotion and characterization," Shampoo started. "Beer."
"There were some very confusing sentences and misspelled words, as well as
improper terms for my inventions. Plus we got to see how many more *new* powers
Adam has," Washu added. "Martini."
"It was a horrible twisting of both the OVA and TV series of Tenchi Muyo. Also,
the inclusion of Sailor Pluto, of which she is *very* OOC, has no value to the
plot whatsoever," Alexander said. "Ginger Ale please?"
"Anything else?" Misato asked.
A scream of anger and the sound of glass crashing suddenly echoed throughout the
Anipike. Everyone turned to see the Comm unit dark and lifeless, with Samantha's
fist in the screen. Her entire body was racked by silent sobs and tears dripped
down onto the control board. She wouldn't cry out loud, she was too proud, but
it was hard enough to keep it all in.
"How long can she keep this up?" Alexander asked, looking close to tears
himself. "I mean, her love is up in space and she has no way to get to him."
"She's Samantha Jones a.k.a. Silhouette," Washu started, sounding almost sad.
"She'll keep going no matter what."
Alexander watched as Rei came out from behind the bar to comfort Samantha, who
had buried her head in her arms and was leaning against the control board, and
came to a decision. He wouldn't stand around and watch his sister suffer, not
while he could do something about it. Acting on impulse, he left the table and
walked over to Naga the Serpent and Lina Inverse, from The Slayers Anime, who
were talking about how to keep their powers in S-I fanfics.
"Um... excuse me ladies?" Alexander blushed when Naga turned to him, dressed in
her skimpy leather outfit.
"Yes?" they asked.
"Well, I was wondering if you two could help me with something..."
________________________________________________________________________
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