Hello to you one and all, whatever that means. Anyhow, hello to all that are reading this. This is my fourth MST that I have written. I found this on a friends website, Gen Sao's actually, and decided to MST it when I saw that it was a self-insertion fic, one of the worst kinds!. After reading to chapter three, the reasons to MST it further grew, but I'll let you discover those reasons as you read the chapters. No hate mail from my previous three MST fan fics have come in so I guess I'm doing okay in offending no one...or else the writers of the fan fics just have not found out yet. Legal stuff: All the characters and concepts of Mystery Science Theater 3000 belong to those which gave it life. Please don't sue me for I am merely borrowing your characters and not stealing them. To Adam Chris Leigh, please have a good sense of humor if you read this. Now on to the story! ________________________________________________________________________ The atmosphere on the Satellite of Love is tense, the reason for being so revolving around the memory, or lack of in this case, of one Crow T Robot. "Who are you guys," he asked, confusion creeping into his eyes. "Where am I? What am I?" "Oh man, the program really did a number on him. How am I supposed to fix this," Mike Nelson asked his friend, Tom Servo. "I don't know Nelson, but you had better do it soon before we get another experiment," Tom said. "Can you imagine an experiment with no crude comments of sexual innuendo...." The human and red robot contemplated this for a few seconds while Crow wandered off, amazed and yet terrified by his seemingly new surroundings. "We can't do that! It just wouldn't be the same without him!" Mike said. "Yeah, whatever. But if you can't fix him, I still want his stereo." The temp sighed and reached down behind the desk with the lights on it, brining up the E-Z robot repair guide. After flipping the pages for a bit, he finally found what he was looking for. "Ah! Here it is: In order to take out memory inhibiting programs, expose the robot to a really bad self insertion fan fic....Hey it could work! All we have to do is wait for Dr.F to send us a bad fan fic and he's cured!" "That's great Mike, but you're forgetting one thing," Tom pointed out. "What?" "Crow is now missing." "Oh....AH! Go find him and be quick about it. Who knows when the doctor will be buzzing us with a really bad fan fic!" "Gee, someone is feeling like royalty today," Tom grumbled, hovering away to find his robot companion. The red light started to flash and Mike calmed himself down. Actually asking for a bad self insertion fan fic might make the evil scientist suspicious. "Here goes," he said aloud, tapping the red light. "How are you sir? Get that problem with Frank fixed?" DEEP 13 "Just about booby. As you can see, he's not glowing green all that much and most of his hair as grown back," the evil Dr.Forester said, stepping aside from the camera to reveal T.V.'s Frank in his black outfit. Indeed Frank is no longer glowing as strongly a green as he was last time and most of his white hair had grown back, covering the top but not the sides. "And I regained most of my memory Joel," Frank said. "That's Mike you nincompoop! Anyhow, due to Frank's *condition*, we will not be doing an invention exchange this week," Dr.F said. SATELLITE OF LOVE Mike is doing a happy little jig. It's a bad one, but filled with well meaningful and happiness. DEEP 13 "Knock that off you buffoon! However, I did find a really bad fan fic that will make you toss your cookies! And the robot's as well, if they could eat cookies." SATELLITE OF LOVE "They eat Ram chips. Is that good enough sir," Mike asked. DEEP 13 "Yes. Yes it is. Anyhow, your experiment for the day is the beginning for a self insertion series named Full Circle by an Adam Chris Leigh. I've only read a few sentences into it and I found it to be horrible. You might as well bow down to me now Nelson," Dr. Forester said, a malicious smile on his face. SATELLITE OF LOVE "We'll see about that," Mike said, a pillar of hope rising in his soul. This was exactly what the repair guide called for to bring Crow back to his old self. He gave a moments thought to the incredible coincidence present before him before pushing it aside. DEEP 13 "Put the hurt on them Frank," the scientist commanded. "You got it Bobby," Frank said, actually hitting the right button. "That's Clayton you miscreant!" SATELLITE OF LOVE The usual pandemonium ensures as all the warning lights start to flash. "We've got Self-insertion sign!" Mike shouted before running into the theater. ( DOOR SEQUENCE.) 6...5...4...3...2...1... Mike took the middle seat and waited for the other two robots to arrive. He was not long in writing. Crow took the first seat and Mike reached over to Tom, picking him up and placing him in the third seat. CROW: And Richard Baseheart is the best person ever! MIKE: Who? What happened Tom? TOM: I caught him with Gypsy. She started to fill him in on who she liked best and now Crow likes him as well. MIKE: This is gonna be a long experiment.... CROW: What do we do? > INTERLUDE >Establishing Shot: The Starry Sky, Saggitarius is center screen. It >pans down until we see a house. MIKE: We make comments like this: Saggitarius then fell and hit the house. > ADAM (Off Screen) > Geeze, where the hell am I? I hope > there’s some one in this house that > can speak English. CROW: Oh I see! This sounds so familiar. TOM: It should. We've only been doing this kind of thing for nearly a decade now. >A figure (ADAM LEIGH) walks on screen and heads for the house. He >reaches the door and slams his fist into the side of the doorway three >times. MIKE: Maybe Adam should have just used the door bell. TOM: Hey I just realized something! He didn't put his legal stuff at the beginning! And we didn't get to see what kinf of fan fic this is! MIKE: Self insertion. TOM: Ouch. CROW: Why do I have this sense of deja-vu and deep pain? > ADAM > HEY! Is there anyone in there? TOM: NO! I mean...D'OH! >You can hear some rustling inside the house; the sound of feet rushing >down a staircase, then a young boy (TENCHI MASAKI) opens the door. TOM: Oh no! A self insertion into the world of Tenchi Muyo! Great pain! > TENCHI > Uhh … Hello, is there … MIKE: A reasonable writer around here? No.. > ADAM > Yes! Someone I understand! > Can you tell me where I am? I’m > awfully lost? CROW: He must be related to Ryouga Hibiki...Now where did that come from? TOM: (Whispering to Mike) It's working! > TENCHI > Well, I’m not too good with directions, > where are you headed? MIKE: Crazy! Wanna come? > ADAM > Umm, I wasn’t really heading anywhere. > I was just walking home from the drug > store on Franklin. I know it sounds > funny getting lost in my own town… CROW: Definitely related to Ryouga Hibiki....Hmmm... >TENCHI looks at ADAM like he’s crazy. > > ADAM > What? I’m not an imbecile, I was > walking and suddenly I got the feeling > that I was not where I thought I was. > And then there was all these trees, > and I ended up in some Japanese > person’s back yard. Listen, just tell > me if I’m still anywhere near Oakland. MIKE: Okay.... CROW: So the author decided to have himself appear in Japan for no reason whatsoever. Does he know that this makes no sense? TOM: That's what most of the stories we've read seem like. >TENCHI starts and stops several times, MIKE: Grinding the gears and putting the clutch through hell. >then finally gets enough >courage to continue. > > TENCHI > Are … I mean … do you know that … > What I’m trying to say is that there > isn’t any Oakland near here … or at > all in this Country. At least … I think. TOM: So the author understands Japanese.. Hmmm...That hole he's digging is getting awfully deep. >ADAM facefaults a few times, and then looks at TENCHI like he’s crazy. CROW: No. *You're* crazy, he's insane. > ADAM > What country are YOU living in? There > must be eight to twelve Oaklands in the > US. At least three in the east coast. TOM: Are there really twelve Oaklands in the US Mike? MIKE: I don't know. Been awhile since I touched terra firma. CROW: It has? Wow. > TENCHI > I’m living in Japan. At least, last I > checked, which is also where your > standing. > > ADAM > JAPAN? Ha! MIKE: That's a good one! Quick, tell me another! >TENCHI looks at him seriously > > ADAM > Your not kidding are you? Your NUTS! > I was in New York, maybe if I’m way lost > I’ve wandered into New Jersey, but NOT > Japan. TOM: No way would this guy make it through New York in one piece. >ADAM turns around and starts walking away > > ADAM > Thanks for you help, a lot of good it > did me. Japan, really… > what a loon, must have escaped from > a mental institute. CROW: (Heavy Sarcasm) So he calls someone who tries to help him a loon. What a nice guy. >TENCHI watches for a second and closes the door. ADAM continues >walking away. MIKE: Then trips on a rock and splits his head open. The end. > A Twisted Plot Production ALL: D'OH! > In Association with > Tempest Creations > > Written and Directed By > Adam Chris Leigh TOM: With pain and torture by Adam Chris Leigh. CROW: Bring on Richard Basehart! WOOHOO! > FULL CIRCLE > > Based on > Tenchi Muyou! TV created by > Masaki Kajishima MIKE: We wish to apologize for the coming pain Mr. Masaki Kajishima. > Dedicated to > The Men and Woman who make > The #TenchiML chat room stay alive > Even when I’m not there to do so. MIKE: Ironically, the day after he wrote and distributed this, he found the chat room shut down permanently. > Episode 1: No Need For Americans BOTS: All right! MIKE: Hey! > ADAM > Now where do I go? Not like I have > much choice … perhaps if I can find > a road … TOM: Hey buddy, why don't you try finding what they call a map! >ADAM walks right into a giant blue MECHA that looks down at him. >We see the MECHA’s POV has a greenish view of ADAM with smaller >displays showing information on ADAM’s physiology. CROW: So the MECHA is gonna kill him? MIKE: We can only hope. >When ADAM >speaks, the words sound garbled but understandable. TOM: If the words are garbled then how can they be understandable? Oww my head. CROW: Careful there or else your head will explode....Now where did that come from? > ADAM (Not in sync with mouth) > Owww, my head. Who put this … Uhh … > Giant Robot … verrrrry bad. > Must run … >ADAM dashes away from the MECHA back towards the house. The >MECHA powers up and jets off after ADAM. ALL: GET HIM!!! >We see ADAM stopping at the >door of the house and pounding on it again. MIKE: (As Tenchi) Oh no! It's him again! Can't he leave me alone? > ADAM > Oh boy, big robot. HEELLLPP!! TOM: (William Shatner) Next on 911. A self insertion fan fic writer is chased down and tore open by a killer MECHA. >The MECHA races towards ADAM, it suddenly tries to slow down. We see >MECHA’s POV showing warnings about hitting house. MIKE: What does POV mean? CROW: Pretty Offensive Video? TOM: Party On Valium? > ADAM > Oohhh, I shouldn’t have gone > out.. should have stayed at ho … CROW: Who's? Was this guy going after hookers? >The MECHA is almost slowed down, but it runs into ADAM, smashing him >through the paper thin door way into the foyer of the house. ALL: YES! >TENCHI >has just reached the bottom of the stairs when this happens. > > TENCHI > What now? MIKE: Like I ain't got enough problems in my life right now.. >TENCHI looks through the door way to see the MECHA standing there. > > TENCHI > ahhh … > RYOUKO ITS FOR YOU! >RYOUKO comes through a door on the Second floor and leans on the >railing that is over the foyer. ADAM gets up and just stares at the >MECHA, frozen with fear. TOM: And reeking of.... MIKE: Don't say it. CROW: Isn't that supposed to be my line? > RYOUKO > Who could it be at this hour? > > TENCHI > IT’S THE SPACE PIRATE! > > RYOUKO > Oh, right, Space Pirate. > > TENCHI > Yes the Space Pirate you > mean you forgot?!!! MIKE: (Ryoko) NO I just...That is... >The MECHA suddenly straightens itself and aim an arm cannon at ADAM. >TENCHI lets out a worried whine; grabs ADAM TOM: Why Tenchi...I didn't know you were that kind of guy... MIKE: Tom... >and runs up the staircase. >The MECHA fires at the space where ADAM was just lying. The MECHA >fires shots at TENCHI, ADAM, and RYOUKO as they run up the stairs >and down a hallway. It flies after them. CROW: Forget Tenchi and Ryoko, just get Adam! MIKE: Feeling dark today? TOM: Stop stealing my thing! > TENCHI > Isn’t there anything > you can do? > > ADAM > You know, I can run if you put me > down, other than that … MIKE: I think Adam is forgetting what he wrote earlier. Tenchi grabbed him, not picked him up. CROW: I'm trying to forget what he wrote as well. >TENCHI throws ADAM to the ground and they all continue running, shots >from the MECHA zing past. TOM: Zing? Shouldn't that be shoot past? > RYOUKO > Isn’t this fun? > >ADAM and TENCHI shoot her mean looks. MIKE: Heh...KILL HER! >They get to a window as the >MECHA closes in on them, they all look in terror at the MECHA >approaching. CROW: You wouldn't exactly look at a killer MECHA in joy now would you? >TENCHI quickly grabs RYOUKO’s hand and jumps through >the window, ADAM follows them falling not quite gracefully. TOM: Adam lands on his head and then gets trampled underfoot by the MECHA. The end. MIKE: Don't get your hopes up. >They >look up at the window for a second, then continue running just as >the MECHA hits the ground where they were standing. CROW: So they're looking up when the MECHA jumps in front of them. Okay.... >They head away >from the house and along a path into the forest. > >YOUSHO is sipping hot tea in the temple atop a mountain, when the >noise and rumbling of several shots being fired cause him to wonder. TOM: I thought it was Katsuhito or Grandpa, at least until they find out that he's really Yousho. CROW: Fanboy! Wow, where did that come from? > YOUSHO > I wonder what is going on. MIKE: It could be my grandson, a mysterious boy, and a mysterious young woman being chased by a killer MECHA...or not. >TENCHI, ADAM, and RYOUKO reach the top of a flight of stairs and >stop for a moment to catch their breaths. TOM: Come back here you breaths! >A shot streams past >TENCHI’s head and they all scream and run away from the stairs >towards the Temple. > > ADAM > Aerobic isn’t this? CROW: If he's very out of breath then he shouldn't be able to talk, right? MIKE: Sadly no. >A shot flies past and hits the ground in front of the gang. They >all stop and gape at the hole in the ground, then turn to see the >MECHA looking at them. YOUSHO appears at the entrance of the Temple. TOM: (As MECHA) Hi I'm here to kill you remember? > YOUSHO > What’s all the racket? > > TENCHI > Grandpa! > > YOUSHO > Well, well, well, who can even think > with all this noise going on? > >YOUSHO adjusts his glases and the lenses flash in the moonlight. >YOUSHO is standing across from the MECHA and they look at each other. >YOUSHO draws his Boduken and charges the MECHA. CROW: (Lecturing tone) Notice how the author expresses repetition in the use of the name Yousho at the beginning of each sentence. >In the middle, they >meet and YOUSHO slashes with his Bokken then leaps out of the way. >The MECHA flashes, buldges, and explodes. > > TENCHI > Yeah! Grandpa! > > ADAM > Very interesting, but can > you cut 3 meter thick Titanium with it? MIKE: There's just no pleasing some people. CROW: How did he know the suit was three meters thick titanium? TOM: He probably looked up the specs on the Galaxy Police web site. CROW: Fan boy! > TENCHI > Look! > >The smoke around the MECHA begins to clear and we see the rather >shapely rear end of MIHOSHI. CROW: (Sparks start to fly from his head) Sayyyy..... TOM: (Whispering) Don't say anything Mike. I think he's coming out of it! MIKE: (Whispering) Alight. >She wiggles around a bit then turns >her head to look at the gang. CROW: (More sparks continues to fly out of his head) Does my butt look fat? I think it looks great! (Suddenly there is a whirring sound and Crow droops forward). MIKE: Oh no! He overloaded! TOM: No Mike he shut down. I think he's resetting himself. Just give it a few minutes. > ADAM > Is that … MIKE: A woman? I've never seen one before. What are those strange lumps on your chest? TOM: And you talk about Crow... > MIHOSHI > Hold it right there Space Pirate! I’m > Detective First Class Mihoshi from > Galaxy Police, and your under arrest! > > TENCHI > Space Pirate? I thought > you said she was the space pirate. > > RYOUKO > What? Are you joking, she’s obviously > lying, she probably doesn’t have any > proof. Don’t you believe me? > > TENCHI > Well … > > ADAM > No. TOM: Thus proving that humans are distrustful of other alien species. MIKE: Yeah!....HEY! > MIHOSHI > Oh I have proof all right, I have it > right here. > >MIHOSHI rummages through some unseen pocket that seems unending. TOM: This is definitely from the TV series of Tenchi and not the OVA. CROW: (Restarting) Fan boy! MIKE: You're back! CROW: And better then ever. Hmmmm. Wonder how many of her special tools she keeps in there. Nudge nudge, wink wink. TOM: And you say him being back as a good thing. > MIHOSHI > Hmm… this is not it … no not this … > where is it, I know I had it … Oh, how > did this get here … and, oh I don’t > know WHAT this is … > >TENCHI and ADAM nervously sweat. CROW: (Ryoko) Geez! You guys need some deodorant! > MIHOSHI > Ahhh! Here it is! > >MIHOSHI jumps to her feet and hold out a rod that extends CROW: AHA! I knew she had her *special* toys in there! MIKE: Crow.... CROW: Ah bite me Nelson. >to create >a screen. TOM: That would be sure to keep out bugs and fresh air simultaneously. MIKE: That got the Sci-fi channel. CROW: Kiss-up. > MIHOSHI > See? Here’s my Galaxy Police ID. And > here is the Warrant for your arrest. > >The picture changes to Mihoshi’s picture with her information, then >switches to a warrant for the arrest of RYOUKO, the picture looks >just like her. TOM: Except that it's smaller of course. > RYOUKO > Well, you finally > figured it out. I was drunk when we > first met, but now I’ll show you who > the real boss is. TOM: I've just realized something. CROW AND MIKE: What? TOM: Not only is this a bad self insertion fan fic but Mr.Adam Chris Leigh can't even get the dialogue right! CROW: Fan boy! >TENCHI and ADAM scramble over to MIHOSHI CROW: (Mihoshi) Hands off guys! > ADAM > Don’t you have anything to protect us? MIKE: (Mihoshi) And why should I? All you've guys done is run away from me and protect the criminal. >MIHOSHI draws her gun and points it at RYOUKO CROW: Sayyy... MIKE: That's it. I'm taking away your Freud books as soon as this experiment is done. > MIHOSHI > Just hold it right there. If you move, > I’m going to have to shoot you … > and it’ll really hurt. TOM: (Sarcastic)You don't say! > RYOUKO > Go ahead. > >MIHOSHI hesitates. MIKE: Realizing that she forgot to charge up the battery pack. > ADAM > What are you waiting for? Shoot her! TOM: This definitely shows he has a negative attitude towards her. >MIHOSHI fires repetitively, the shots hit an invisible barrier that is >surrounding RYOUKO. CROW: (MIhoshi) Oh poopy. > RYOUKO > That’s right, your hunting > big game now, too big for the likes of > you. > MIKE: I recognize that spelling! Ratliffs been teaching again! >TENCHI, ADAM, and MIHOSHI nervously look watch RYOUKO. MIHOSHI is >still firing. > > RYOUKO > Now it's time for retaliation, and plenty > of it, too! TOM: There he goes butchering the dialogue again. *SNIFF* I think I'm gonna cry. MIKE: Don't worry Tom. It's almost over. >RYOUKO flies at TENCHI, ADAM, and MIHOSHI, they all run screaming >as RYOUKO fires energy beams at them. The rush down the stairs >leaving YOUSHO alone by the temple. > > YOUSHO > Hmmm, a busy night. > >TENCHI, ADAM, and MIHOSHI barge back into the house though the broken >door way and run up the stairs, RYOUKO is close behind them. CROW:(Dry wit) Ha ha. Very funny.....GET HIM!!!! > ADAM > Isn’t this a little familiar. TOM: So he knows how to speak Japanese, is calm in a critical situation, and even makes jokes during them ala James Bond. CROW: What are you doing? TOM: Just totaling the charges.... MIKE: You forgot self insertion. >They come to the window again, they immediately jump out of it, this >time they don’t land as well. MIHOSHI lands on her side and ADAM >lands on her. MIKE: Great landing Adam. >ADAM gets up and TENCHI pulls on her arm. > > TENCHI > Come on! > > MIHOSHI > No, wait. I can’t move. > > ADAM > Here she comes! TOM: Are you sure? Wouldn't want to make a mistake now would we. >RYOUKO flies through the window, energy sparkles between her hands, >she slowly flies towards the three. > > TENCHI > That’s it! > >TENCHI looks around, then picks up a hoe and points it at RYOUKO. >ADAM looks at the hoe, then at RYOUKO. > > ADAM > We’re gonna die … CROW: DIE! Then this will be the end of it. MIKE: Feeling dark today? TOM: And stop stealing my thing! >RYOUKO flies down to the ground, the energy disappears from her hands >and she throws her arms around herself. MIKE: Accidentally losing them in the bushes. > > RYOUKO > Ahh, that was fun wasn’t it? > >TENCHI and ADAM facefault, MIHOSHI looks with amazement. TOM: More Ratliff spelling. > RYOUKO > You know I wasn’t really serious, I > was just having a little fun you know. > >MIHOSHI jumps to her feet. MIKE: Guess she forgot them here the first time she came by. > MIHOSHI > You mean you’re going to give up? > > RYOUKO > I might just do that for you. > > MIHOSHI > That’ll make things so much more > easier. Let me just find those rights. > >MIHOSHI looks through that unseen pocket, finally pulling out a pair >of rods MIKE: Don't even say it young man. CROW: What? >that she separates to make a screen. TOM: And don't you say anything Nelson. MIKE: What? > MIHOSHI > Okay, You have the right to remain > silent about all facts regarding the > cause of your arrest, you canno – HEY! > TOM: Mihoshi is Columbo. CROW: That joke was pointless. TOM: Like this story. MIKE: Unfortunately the story does have a point. It's the self insertion that's pointless. >The screen burns in a brief moment of fire. RYOUKO is standing with >a grin on her face. > > RYOUKO > Go on. > > MIHOSHI > I think I know these by heart, Section > number 158 … or is it 178? Section > 153? Oh, OH! I don’t remember TOM: Someone's been sitting too close to the TV lately. >MIHOSHI breaks down crying. ADAM raises an eyebrow CROW: (Adam) Hello good looking! MIKE: Um...no. >and RYOUKO sighs. > > RYOUKO > I could get to like it here. > >It’s the next day and inside the Masaki household, ADAM, RYOUKO, >MIHOSHI, TENCHI, YOUSHO, and TENCHI’s father NOBOYUKI are sitting >around a table drinking Tea and eating cakes and various foods. TOM: Oh man! He couldn't get anyone's dialogue right, except for a few phrases, and now he's cutting out whole scene! *Starts crying* (Mike and Crow comfort Tom as best they can). > YOUSHO > Well, you are welcome to stay here > with us, such lovely ladies will > brighten our day. TOM: More butchering of the dialogue! *Cries harder* CROW: Damn you Adam Leigh! > NOBOYUKI > Yes, If you don’t mind staying here > with us Bachelors, huh Tenchi? > > MIHOSHI > Oh Thank you! Thank you so much! > > RYOUKO > Oh great, more freeloaders. TOM: And still more butchering! *Cries get louder* > > TENCHI > You’re the one who started all this > you know. > >Everyone looks to ADAM now. MIKE: See Tom? Even the rest of the cast in this fan fic knows it to be Adam's fault. > TENCHI > How about you Adam, what are you > going to do? > > YOUSHO > You’re welcome to stay as well. > > ADAM > Well, I’m not a ‘lovely lady’ but I’m > sure I could find a way to brighten > your day. MIKE: You could start by leaving. CROW: That brings a sick thought to mind that not even I will give voice to. MIKE: Thank you. > YOUSHO > I’m sure you can help Tenchi repair > the roof after last night’s firefight. > >TENCHI and ADAM look at each other and grimace. CROW: Certainly shows Adam's work ethics. >Next shot, Tenchi is >sitting on the roof nailing boards trying to fill the holes. RYOUKO >appears next to TENCHI. TOM:(Ryoko) Is it time to bump off the new guy? Oops! He's here! Heh heh. How are you doing today Adam? ME? No not going to kill off the self inserted character, no way I'm not. > TENCHI > What do you want? > > RYOUKO > This isn’t any fun, why don’t you come > and have fun with me Tenchi? TOM: I'm not going to comment on the butchering of the dialogue for it falls on deaf ears. > TENCHI > You know, you are the one who should > be doing this. If it weren't for you > there wouldn’t be any holes in this roof. MIKE: How did holes get punched in the roof anyhow? > RYOUKO > But wasn’t it fun? CROW: (Tenchi) Sure I had fun. There's nothing more fun then running away from a killer MECHA and then a killer space babe! > TENCHI > RYOUK— > >RYOUKO puts her finger across TENCHI’s mouth. > > RYOUKO > No need for arguments. > >TENCHI sighs and leans across the roof. > > ADAM (Off Screen) > No Tenchi! Don’t lean on that board! MIKE: Damn he's still here! >The board under TENCHI’s arm gives way and he falls into through the >roof. ADAM appears climbing up a ladder holding a couple handfuls >of support beams. CROW: Support beams are that small? MIKE: Well no but you have to realize we're dealing with what the author thinks in terms to the sizes of certain items. > ADAM > Well, that’s one > way to fly. TOM: (Sarcastic)Ha ha. Make a joke at another person's expense. Very funny. Ha ha. MIKE: Man this guy is sadistic. >ADAM and RYOUKO look at each other and grin. > > RYOUKO > I think I’m going to like you. TOM: BOOO!!! Now the charges is piling up! MIKE: Keep em coming Adam. We'll keep track of them. CROW: To use when the creator of Tenchi Muyo sues your piddly little butt. > ADAM > Charmed. > > >Fade to black. MIKE: And we have the end! ALL: YAH!!!! >Authors Notes: ALL: D'OH! > This is completely based on the very first episode of Tenchi Muyo! TV >dubbed into existence in North America by Pioneer. From here on in, this will >be a mix of stories from the OAV and TV series, I hope you don’t get too >confused, just read on. Where it’s going to end is a secret that will be kept >with me until the end of the series. TOM: So now we have a self insertion crossover fan fic. Where does this guy gets his ideas from? MIKE: At least it wasn't Oscar who gave him any ideas. ALL: (Shudder) > Tenchi Muyou! Ryo-ohki was created by Masaki Kajishima, and brought to >North America by Pioneer Inc. Tenchi Muyo! TV was also created by Masaki >Kajishima, and brought to North America by Pioneer Inc. While this story >incorporates aspects of both of these works, the rights and usage is owned by >Adam Chris Leigh, and is Copyright © 1997. All Rights Reserved. CROW: Hey he's claiming to own the rights to Tenchi Muyo! SUE HIS %^$#%^# OFF GUYS!! MIKE: He means the rights to this story Crow. CROW: Well he can keep this story. >Comments and Critizims are WELCOME! Please, shoot me down, flame me, just prove >to me that I’m not writing this for no reason at all! MIKE: You are: our pain. >One final note: I finally saw the OAV episodes of Tenchi Muyo, Today, June >18th. I am now fulfilled. >Adam Chris Leigh (a.k.a. The Tempest) June 18, 1997. >“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” “The sincerest form of imitation >is plagiarism.” TOM: And this story is the sincerest form of a sick idea from a twisted, demented little mind! MIKE: Uh Tom, that's Oscar. TOM: I know. I'm just bitter. (All get up and leave). (DOOR SEQUENCE). 6...5...4...3...2...1... Mike and the bots are leaning against the desk with the three lights on it. "Well that was pretty bad," Mike said. "I know. It is, by far, the worst Tenchi fan fic I have ever seen in my entire life," Tom proclaimed in a fit of rage. "Calm down Tom. At least it's over," Crow said. The red light starts to flash. "Tweedle dee and Tweedle Duh are calling," Mike said, tapping the button. DEEP 13 "So that hurt eh my little guinea pigs? Well Guess what? 'We've found the other five chapters so there is plenty more pain where that came from! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" "Sending them the hurt Johnny," Frank said, hitting the button. "That's Clayton you miscreant!" SATELLITE OF LOVE The usual pandemonium ensures as Mike and the bots run around and then into the theater. "We've got self insertion sign!" ________________________________________________________________________ So how was it? Being a Tenchi fan myself, I was really repelled by this fan fic. Sure others have done self insertion before in the past, but it was usually after the first bunch of major events in a story. Seeing it, I knew it had to be riffed. I hoped everyone enjoyed reading it, even the author if he ever reads it. Send my comments of any kind to: xwing@perf.bc.ca