THE MST AVENGERS EPISODE 4 AN MST OF "LUNCH DATE" BY THE MST AVENGERS WITH HELP AND JOKES FROM THE HUMAN LAUGH'O'METER: MINAKO DISCLAIMER: EVERYTHING HERE DOES NOT BELONG TO ME SAVE FOR THE HUMOR, IF ANY. AND IF THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR GETS PISSED BY THIS MST, I TAKE IT THAT I HAVE DONE ONE HELLUVA DAMN GOOD JOB. THANK YOU. ================================================================================================= The MST Avengers are: The Psychomatic Poet (Helloooooo!!!) Asuka Soryu Langley (Guten tag!) Chang Wufei (I am JUSTICE!!!) Quatre Raberba Winner (Hi and how are you today?) Lord Raptor (YO! I'm da Raptor-man!!) Washu Hakubi (Remember; it's Washu-CHAN!) Min-ohki(Mi-YAAAA!!!) And Special Guest MSTer: Aeka Jurai(Oujo-sama to oyobi!!) ================================================================================================= Sick and tired with all the lousy lemon fanfics that have flooded into his dark domain, the demon god known as The Psychomatic Poet has brought together a team of oustanding anime characters to help him in his mission of crushing the worst kind of lemon fanfics out there yonder and to mete out... Raptor(bursts out from the ground): BLAARRGGHH!!!!!!! Mr Narrator(runs screaming into the streets): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raptor: Heh heh heh... ================================================================================================= "Pi-ka-CHU!!!" chanted humanoid Min-ohki happily as she watched Pikachu jump up and unleash a wave of electric shocks at Ash. "Pika!!" chanted Min-ohki again. She was in The R&R Room, re-watching the half-a -dozen video-tapes of Pokemon anime that Poet had gotten for her and thoroughly enjoying them. However, this was not to be for the other members of The MST Avengers... Wufei(rubbing his eyes): Come on Min-ohki! We've already seen this episode twice!! Haven't you watched enough? Min-ohki(shaking her head): Miya pika miya! Wufei(grumbling): If you don't stop now, I'M going to turn into a Pokemon as well... Asuka: I'd like to see how you're going to do that. Quatre: Turn into a Pikachu, Wufei!! Turn into a Pikachu!!! Wufei(stares at Quatre): Very funny, Quatre. P.Poet(with a distant look in his eyes): ....... Quatre: Uh, Poet? P.Poet: Clefairy clefairy clefairy clefairy clefairy clefairy clefairy clefairy...... Min-ohki: Pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pika pika....... Wufei(covering his ears): ARRRRGHH!!! STOP IT!!!! STOP IT!!! Asuka: Ugh! If I hear 'Get ready for trouble, make it double' one more time, I'm going to scream... (Just then, Washu-chan walks into The R&R Room.) Washu-chan: Pokemon? Asuka: Yeah, wanna watch? Washu-chan(small sweat-drop): I...don't think so. Min-ohki(changing into her cabbit form): Pi-ka-CHU!!!! Wufei: *Groan!!* Quatre(waving two blue-colored pom-poms): Go Min-ohki go!!! P.Poet: Clefairy... Washu-chan(big sweat-drop): I really don't think so...and anyway, we have an MST to do. Wufei(relieved): Oh good! I'd rather do an MST than watch Pokemon again... Washu-chan: Today, kiddies, we are going to MST a Triple L fic. Rates nine-out-of-ten-yucks on the Yuck-O-Meter. Asuka: What's a Triple L fic? Washu-chan: Lousy Lesbian Lemon fic. Others(in pure horror): *GASP!!!!* Min-ohki(changing back to her humanoid form): Miya? Washu-chan: Yes, I know. I picked out the fic myself... Others(in purer horror): DOUBLE *GASP!!!!!!!!!!!* Washu-chan(face-faults): ...because it really needed a good MSTing... Others(greatly relieved): Whew......!!! Washu-chan: I don't even want to know what you were thinking about just now... P.Poet: Clefairy... Washu-chan: I also have a special guest to assist in today's MST. Quatre: Who is it, Washu-chan? Washu-chan(calling out): You can come in now!! (The door opens to reveal Crown Princess Aeka Jurai. Immediately, Poet snaps out of his Clefairy routine.) P.Poet & Aeka(pointing at each other): YOU!!!!! Aeka: THE PEEPING-TOM PERVERT!!!!!!! P.Poet: THE FLAT-CHESTED ONE!!!!!! Washu-chan: What the heck is going on here?!! Aeka(>_<): HE'S THE PREVERT WHO PEEPED AT ME WHILE I WAS BATHING IN THE ONSEN!!!!!! Others(0_0): ...... P.Poet: HEY!! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!! SHE'S THE ONE WHO KEPT ON INTERFERING WITH OUR LAST MST!!!! (Wufei joins Poet in squinting at Aeka.) Aeka(to Washu-chan): Why didn't you tell me that I was going to be doing this with HIM?!!! Washu-chan: Calm down, Aeka! How was I supposed to know about this? Aeka(folding her arms): I don't care; I'm not working with him!! Huh!! P.Poet(also folding his arms): Yeah, well, me too!! Washu-chan(exasperated): Okay! Alright! All I'm asking for, is a temporary truce, okay? Just for the MST only. P.Poet(skeptical): Well... Aeka(even more skeptical): I guess that's rather reasonable... Washu-chan: Good! We have this settled. I'll be seeing you all in The Projection Room. (Heads for the door.) In the meantime, I'll leave you kiddies with the formal introductions. (Exits The R&R Room.) Asuka: Hi! I'm Asuka! Quatre: And I'm Quatre! Nice to meet you! Min-ohki: Miya miya pika!!! Asuka: And that's Min-ohki! Wufei: I am Chang Wufei, woman!! Quatre(sternly): Wufei!! Wufei: What?! Aeka: Hello, I am Juraian Crown Princess, Aeka Jurai. Just call me Aeka. P.Poet(dramatics): And I am...THE PSYCHOMATIC POET!! DEMON GOD OF DARKNESS... (Everything turns dark.) Aeka: What is going on?! (The light turns back on.) P.Poet: ...AND ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY!!!!! (Several mis-shapen hunchbacks appear from out of nowhere beside Poet.) Hunchbacks: Duh duh duh!!!! Others: Ewwwwww!!!!! Wufei: Haven't seen them for quite a while now. (The hunchbacks then disappear.) P.Poet: But you can call me Poet. Aeka(sarcastic): Thank you for that bomabastic introduction, Poet. P.Poet(even more sarcastic): You're welcome, Aeka. Asuka(looks around): Hey? Where's Raptor? Quatre: Speaking of which, I haven't seen him at all today... P.Poet: Raptor's in California. At the Annual International Boy-Bands Convention. Others: Say what?! Wufei: What is he going there for? P.Poet: To scare the sissy boy-bands shitless. He gets a kick out of doing that... Asuka: Weird as it may seem, he has my whole-hearted support. There's just too many of them around these days. P.Poet(twitching): With their freakin' tasteless shhh-iiit that they call mu-mu-music and their blasted songs of- BRRRRRR!!!!! Anyways, Washu-chan's expecting us so I think we'd better hurry. Aeka: Then let us proceed to the... Wufei: Well, Min-ohki!! What other Pokemon tapes are there that we haven't watched till we puked yet? P.Poet: Quite stalling, Wufei and come on!!! Wufei: No way!! We have done sex marathon lemons and pedophile lemons; okay, BUT I draw the line at lesbian lemons!!! I-am-not-doing-this- one! P.Poet(snaps his fingers): Wufei? Wufei: What? P.Poet: Look out the window and at your beautiful Nataku. Wufei(puzzled): Why? P.Poet(Nike commercial): Just do it. (Everyone moves towards the window to get a better view. There is someone sprawled across Nataku's left shoulder armor and it would seem that he is rubbing his hands vigorously on Nataku.) Ajou Jinsaku([from Key-The Metal Idol]panting with fervent lust): Aaaa... MY SON!!!! All(except Poet): ...... Wufei(0_0!!!!!!): GYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! GET HIM OFF OF NATAKU!!!!! P.Poet: Are you going to MST this lemon? Wufei(>_<): YES YES YES!!!! JUST GET THAT PERVERT OFF OF MY GUNDAM!!!!! P.Poet: Really going to? Wufei(->_<-): YES!!!!! AND LEAVE MY NATAKU OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!!!! P.Poet(snaps his fingers and Ajou Jinsaku disappears): COME AVENGERS!!!! WE'RE LATE!!! Wufei: *SOB!* Nataku...*SOB!* Aeka(gives Asuka a very puzzled look): ...... Asuka(walking out of The R&R Room): Yes, I know. We're an extremely weird team... Aeka(following Asuka out): I'll say! *** (In the Projection Room, sitting from left to right are Quatre, Wufei, Aeka, P.Poet, Min-ohki and Asuka. Washu-chan is above them, sitting at the projector.) P.Poet(taking out a six-pack from the fridge): BEER RUN!!!! Min-ohki: Miya!! P.Poet(takes out a bunch of carrots): AND CARROTS!!!! Wufei(taking a can of beer): Since when did we install a fridge in The Projection Room? P.Poet: Uh...somewhere between now and then. Wufei(-_-): Oh brother! P.Poet: Oh sister! Wufei: Oh father! P.Poet: Oh mother! Wufei: Oh grandfather! P.Poet: Oh grandmother! Asuka: OH SHUT UP!!!!! P.Poet: Drink beer drink beer... Asuka(takes a can of beer and passes one to Aeka): An MST Avengers custom. We always drink beer during an MST. Aeka: Well...one can wouldn't hurt...but then, why doesn't Quatre drink beer as well? Others(except Quatre & Aeka): Pffffff...hahahahaha... Quatre(screwy-faced): A-HEM!!! Asuka: I'll tell you some other time, Aeka. Aeka: Oh, alright. But Asuka, I haven't done an MST before. What am I supposed to do? Asuka: Don't worry. It's very easy... P.Poet(Beavis): Hur hur hur!! Our first MST of a lesbian fic! Hur hur hur!! Cool!! Hur hur... Aeka: SHUT UP POET!!! P.Poet(meekly): 'Kay... Asuka: There! Wasn't that simple? Aeka: Why...yes! You're right! P.Poet(tears streaming down his cheeks): *Sob*...what am I supposed to be... *sniff* > Disclaimer: This is a Tenchi Muyo lemon. P.Poet: And this is an MST of a "Tenchi Muyo!" lemon. >This means two things. Asuka: One, this lemon sucks. Aeka: Two, this lemon sucks. >One, that the characters herein belong to AIC >and Pioneer LDC. Two, this story contains sex. Wufei: That's why it's called a lemon, isn't it? Aeka: Yes. >Lots of sex. Aeka: Alright! I got the concept the first time round!! >Hot, freaky, lesbian sex! Aeka(standing up): I GET THE IDEA YOU STUPID PERVERT!!!! >If you're under eighteen years of age, stop reading. P.Poet: Make me. >Hey, what I just get done telling you?! >Stop reading! Wufei: Make me. Quatre: Actually, I do want to stop... P.Poet: Quatre? Quatre: Yes? P.Poet: What I did to Wufei's Nataku can happen to your Sandrock as well... Quatre(thinks for a while): Uhh...maybe this isn't so bad after all... P.Poet: Good. >Stop! STOP READING, YA LITTLE PUNK! Asuka(looking around): Nope. We're all big punks here. >Oh well, it's not as if we can reach through the phone lines >and strangle you. P.Poet(dull): Ha. Ha. So. Funny. Asuka: And if we get our hands on you, we won't stop at just strangling you, ja? >(Authors try for several minutes without >success.) P.Poet: Those who are dumb enough to try it anyway... >Well, anyway, I guess we have no choice but to >assume you are of age. Some of you may wonder why we wrote >this fic. Aeka(sarcastic): Oh, the suspense is killing me. >Simple. (Grins) Someone told us it couldn't be >done. All: THEY WERE RIGHT GOD-DAMMIT!!! THEY WERE RIGHT!!!!! > On with the fic! Asuka: Yes, on with the blasted fic. P.Poet: We are now entering The Lesbian Lemon Zone. Please buckle up and have your brown paper bags on standby. Thank you. >Lunch Date P.Poet: Speaking of which, I'm hungry. Asuka: Hello Hungry! Why, you look a lot like Poet, Hungry. P.Poet(slapping his forehead): I can't believe this! I got zinged by you! Asuka: Believe it, Hungry! > Minagi had always gotten along reasonably well with >Princess Ayeka, Aeka: Yes we have. So let's not ruin that friendship, shall we? >so when the Jurain noblewoman asked Minagi Quatre: I thought you were Juraian, Aeka? Aeka: I am. Quatre: Then why... Aeka: It's an apparent spelling mistake. Quatre: Oh. >to have lunch with her in the Ryu-Oh unit, Minagi thought >nothing of it and showed up on time carrying a bottle of sake >with her, her contribution to the meal. Ayeka met her at >the door and invited her inside with a smile. P.Poet: Yeech! Aeka: What was that about? P.Poet: You smiling like that. Aeka(grinding her teeth): This is starting to become an uneasy truce... >Ayeka had everthing set up already. A table and chairs had >come from somewhere, Wufei: But where? P.Poet: Somewhere. Wufei: Yes, but where? P.Poet: Just somewhere! Wufei: But WHERE?! P.Poet: This is getting no-where... Wufei: What has no-where got to do with somewhere? P.Poet(vertical lines on his face): Just forget that I ever said anything, Wufei. >and the meal Ayeka had prepared was nothing short >of exquisite, P.Poet(to Aeka): Uhh...I thought you couldn't cook, Aeka? Aeka: And who told you that?! P.Poet(innocently): Washu-chan. Aeka(turning to Washu-chan): Washu-chan... Washu-chan(to Poet): POET!! P.Poet: What?! Washu-chan(to Aeka.) Well, heh, it was uh, a slip of the tongue, Aeka... heh heh... >which was odd considering the Princess couldn't >cook to save her life. P.Poet: See? Aeka: Oh hush up Poet!! >Ayeka sat her down and poured her a glass of wine. >Minagi took a sip, and her eyes widened in shock. >Jurain cherry wine was a very rare brand. P.Poet(commercial): Ju-rain Cherry Wine! Available now at your nearest inter-galactic departmental store!! Get it now and widen your eyes in shock!! Others(widening their eyes in shock): Ju-rain Cherry Wine!! > She and Ayeka had lunch and talked. Aeka(Ayeka): Oh that Tenchi is just so dreamy... P.Poet(Minagi): Well, I heard that he was nothing but a big weenie... *BASH!!* P.Poet(dizzy): G-g-good...le-left hook...there...Aeka... Aeka(rubbing her knuckles): I try. >Ayeka made sure that Minagi's glass was never empty, and after an >hour, Minagi felt her nose begin to go numb, the surest sign that Wufei: It was about to fall off. >she was drinking too much. Ayeka smiled at her warmly P.Poet: YEEEECH...!! Aeka: Now what?! P.Poet: You smiling warmly. Aeka: THAT DOES IT!!!! (Starts kicking at Poet's ankles.) P.Poet: HEY OWW!!! THAT HURTS!!! OWW!!! AS IF I'M TO BLAME FOR YOUR INABILITY TO SMILE-OWWWWWW!!! Aeka(still kicking at Poet): You take that back!!! TAKE IT BACK!!! *KICK!!!* Aeka: Oopsie... P.Poet(clutching his sensitive spot): ...*pain*...*i'm in pain*... All the guys: Oui!! Asuka: You actually kicked him in the... Min-ohki: Pika...miya... Aeka(to Poet): Hey! Are you alright? Hey! P.Poet: ...*i think i need to sit down*... >and tried to pour her another. Minagi held her hand up. Asuka(Minagi): Erm, sensei? Can I go to the washroom please? >"Um...no, thank you, Ms. Ayeka, but I really have to be going." > Ayeka looked a little disappointed. "Do you? I was >hoping we could talk some more." P.Poet(Ayeka): And that Tenchi is such a sissy... Aeka: NO HE IS NOT!!! >She reached across the table and took Minagi's hand. Minagi >gulped nervously. There was something wrong with this. Asuka: DUH!! >She stood up. Wufei: And ran the heck out of the lemon. End! Asuka: Wufei, we all know that we're not that lucky... All: *SIGH*... > "Thank you, Ms. Ayeka, it was a wonderful lunch, (Poet makes a gagging sound. Aeka stares at him.) >really, Aeka(to Poet): NOT A WORD MORE ABOUT MY COOKING!!!!! P.Poet: But I wasn't going to say anything!!! >but there are things I have to do today, Asuka(Minagi): Like sweeping the floor... Aeka(Minagi): Mowing the lawn... Quatre(Minagi): Brushing Ryo-ohki's fur... Min-ohki: Pika miya! Wufei(Minagi): Washing the dishes... P.Poet(Minagi as Brain): Plan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! Come Pinky!! (Turns to Wufei.) Wufei(grumpy): I'm not saying it, Poet. P.Poet: Spoil-sport! >and I..." She turned as she sputtered excuses. P.Poet: Sputter sputter sputter sputter...... >Behind her, she could hear the sound of Ayeka getting out of her chair. P.Poet(singing falsetto): And the hills are alive with the sound of Ayeka getting out of her chair.......!!!!! Others(covering their ears): SHUT UP POET!!!! P.Poet(still singing falsetto): LAAAAAAAAA..........................!!!!! (Aeka swings her left fist at Poet. Poet blocks it and is KOed by Aeka's right-handed uppercut.) Others(sweat-dropping): ...... P.Poet(band-aids on his nose): I see that living with Ryoko has taught you a thing or two about sparring, Aeka... Aeka(dusting off her shoulders): Naturally. >Minagi started toward the door... > Only to watch it slide shut in her face. She put her >hand on the door and willed it to open, but it didn't respond. Quatre: OPEN SESAME!! Asuka: SESAME OPEN!! Wufei: DOOR A-LA OPEN!! P.Poet: JUST OPEN DA FREAKIN' DOOR!!!! >She turned to find Ayeka grinning at her, leaning against >the table. > "Um...Ms. Ayeka?" Asuka(Minagi): What's so funny about leaning against the table? >The princess giggled and started toward her. Minagi took a step >back and bumped into the wall. >"Ms. Ayeka, really, I have to go!" P.Poet(Minagi): I drank too much Ju-rain cherry wine just now!! *ZAP!!!!!* P.Poet(smoke coming out from his ears): Sorry Washu-chan. I couldn't help myself. Washu-chan: Apology accepted. > Minagi decided that she would just have to be rude, and >proceeded to P.Poet: Crack a big fart. Others(except Washu-chan): POET!! THAT WAS DIS- *ZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* P.Poet(charred): Hurrr... Washu-chan(to the others): Please do not forget that Minagi's also my daughter and seeing her in this lemon is already bad enough for me... Others(cautiously): Right. >phase herself through the wall. > Nothing happened. > She blinked in surprise and tried again, with a similar >result. She turned to Ayeka in fear. "My powers!" Wufei(gagging): Arrggg...kryptonite...KRYPTONITE!!!! > Ayeka smiled. "What did you think of the wine, Minagi?" Asuka(Minagi): I kept widening my eyes in shock, Miss Ayeka. >Minagi blinked in confusion. "The chemists on Jurai worked >for centuries to get this solution. Wufei: All that work just so she could... Aeka: Don't say it. Wufei: Right. >It saps the power from life forms such as yourself and Ryoko. My >father gave me the formula last time he was here...just in case." >She giggled. "I don't imagine he'd ever conceive of me using it >like this!" Quatre: No, he wouldn't have thought so. > Minagi took a step back and noticed the wall there. >"L-l-like what?" > Ayeka grinned at her and nodded up at the ceiling. >Minagi looked up just in time to see several vines strike >down at her and wrap themselves around her arms and legs. P.Poet(Tarzan): Oo oo!! Where, oo, vines go? Oo! Can't, oo, swing!! Oo oo!! Others(sweat-dropping): ...... >Minagi cried out and struggled, but the vines held her fast. >Her arms were pulled up over her head. She looked down and >found that the ones around her legs were slowly pulling them >apart. Wufei: Are those some weird vines or what? Others: What. >She looked up and saw Ayeka approaching her. P.Poet & Wufei(humming theme from "Jaws"): DA DUM! DA DUM! DA DUM! > "W..what do you think you're doing!? P.Poet(to on screen Minagi): We're humming the theme from "Jaws". What's it to you? Wufei(sweat-drops): Erm... Asuka: She meant the Ayeka in the lemon, Poet! P.Poet: Uhh...right! I knew that! Asuka: Uh-huh. >Let me down!" The vines pulled her upwards so that she was >forced to stand on her tip toes. Ayeka grinned at her, placing >her hands on Minagi's shoulders, she began to coo. P.Poet(Ayeka): COO COO COO!!!! Aeka: Shut up Poet. P.Poet(Ayeka): COO!! COO!! (Aeka proceeds to land another of her uppercuts at Poet.) P.Poet: Okay okay!!!! I'm shuttin' my trap!!! Aeka: Good. > "Shhhhhhh. It's okay. Just relax." P.Poet(Ayeka): Don't mind me. I'm just going to have some hot freaky lesbian sex with you. Nothing for you to worry about. Shhhhhhh. Aeka: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO SHUT YOUR TRAP?!!!! P.Poet: Ah! Notice that I didn't say for how long... Aeka(fuming): Why I oughta... P.Poet: Yes, you ought to. > Minagi tried to pull away from her, but the vines kept >her from escaping. Ayeka stood on her tip toes and leaned >forward, placing her hands on Minagi's pert breasts. (All sorts of awkward, Ranma-ish poses are struck as The MST Avengers take in what is being shown on the screen.) Aeka(0_0): I DID WHAT?! P.Poet(to Aeka): You put your hands on Minagi's pert breasts, Aeka... Aeka: THAT ISN'T ME YOU IDIOT!!!! P.Poet: Well, excuuuuuse me! Washu-chan(shouting at the screen): GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY DAUGHTER'S PERT BREASTS!!!! Wufei(left eyebrow twitching): This is not normal. Asuka(right eyebrow twitching): Ja...definately not normal... Quatre(both eyebrows twitching): I am not liking this. Min-ohki(puzzled): Pika miya miya? P.Poet(nervous): It's er, well...it's because lesbian lemons are about sssssssss-SEX; between girls. Min-ohki(shock): MIYA?! P.Poet: No Min-chan. I'm not pulling your tail. Min-ohki(sticks out her tongue): PIKA-BLEH!! P.Poet: I know. >She whispered in Minagi's ear. > "Most people don't see me like this," she whispered >seductively. P.Poet(Aeka): RYOKO!!! LET GO OF TENCHI-SAMA THIS INSTANT!!!! Washu-chan(Aeka): RYOKO!!! YAK YAK YAK TENCHI-SAMA YAK YAK!!! P.Poet(Aeka): RYOKO!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH TENCHI-SAMA BLAH!!!! Aeka(cynical): Thank you soooooo much for that inventive depiction of moa... >"Out there, I'm the prim, proper Princess Ayeka, Aeka: That would be me! Prim and proper! Nothing I would like to change! Nope nope!! >but you know what, I don't *like* the prim, proper princess >Ayeka. Aeka: I don't? (Shakes her head.) What am I saying?!! >I love Tenchi, of course, All(sarcastic): Of course. >but sometimes...sometimes >I just have let my other half out." Wufei: NO!! KEEP IT BACK IN!!! DON'T LET IT OUT!!!! I KNOW!! KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!!! Asuka: Wufei? Wufei(turns to Asuka): WHAT?!!!! Asuka: You're over-reacting. Wufei: I...oh. Sorry. > Minagi swallowed nervously as she heard this. She >was shaking in fear now, unsure of what the deranged princess Aeka: Deranged?! For your information, I-AM-NOT-DERANGED!!!! P.Poet: That's kind of hard to see right now... Min-ohki(nodding): Pika miya!! >had planned. She felt something caressing her leg and looked >down to find Asuka: Slugs crawling up her leg. Others: Eeewww... >Ayeka running the tip of a riding crop up the inside of her thigh. Quatre(puzzled): Is she going to ride a horse? Wufei: I don't think so Quatre. Quatre: Then what is she doing with that riding crop?! P.Poet: Ever heard of S&M, Quatre? Quatre: No. Why? P.Poet: Because I think you're going to get an eyeful in this lemon... > Ayeka giggled. "I started doing this when I was fifteen. P.Poet: And I'm sure that your parents must be quite proud of you. Aeka(right eyebrow twitching): ...... >When you're surrounded by nothing but P.Poet: HOT FREAKY LESBIANS!!!! Others: SHUT UP POET!!!! >serving girls...you acquire a taste for them. I admit, I've felt >somewhat thrilled whenever Ryoko would show herself off. Washu-chan: DON'T DRAG RYOKO-CHAN INTO THIS!!!! Aeka: I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!! AND LEAST OF ALL WITH THAT PIRATE!!!!!! P.Poet(holding onto Asuka): Aeka!! Asuka-chan's mine and you can't have her!!! *BONK BONK BONK BONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* *KAZAAAAKAZAAAAAAKAZAAAAAAKAZAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!* Aeka(shouting at Poet): I REPEAT!! I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!!! I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!!! Asuka(also shouting at Poet): AND I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOU YOU LITTLE PERVERT!!!!! Aeka & Asuka: GOT IT?!! P.Poet: ...*got it*... >I could never let on, of course, All(sarcastic): Of course. >I was the prim and proper Princess Ayeka, Aeka(shouting): AND THAT'S THE WAY... Others(singing): Uh-huh uh-huh!!! Aeka(shouting): ...I LIKE IT!!!!! Others(still singing): Uh-huh uh-huh!!! >but...I always wanted her here where you are now." Aeka(standing up and shouting at the screen): WHERE I ALWAYS WANTED RYOKO IS FOR HER TO SEE ME AND TENCHI-SAMA HAVING HOT AND PASSIONATE SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!!!!!!! (Realizes something.) Huh? Others(0_0;;;): ...... Aeka(holds her head in her hands): I spoke my mind out loud, didn't I? P.Poet: 'Spoke' doesn't even begin to describe it, Aeka... Washu-chan(to Aeka): Oooo...naughty little Aeka has naughty little fantasies about Tenchi... Aeka(blushing): WASHU-CHAN!!!! Washu-chan(wistfully): Just joking! >The riding crop came up, gently grazing her stomach, up >between her breasts until it was under her chin. Minagi's >face was pushed upward. She blinked tears out of her eyes >as she quivered with fear..and something else. Ayeka grinned. Wufei: Why does she keep grinning so much? Quatre: Yes. Won't she get a cramp on her face if she goes on like this? >"But I knew she would never submit to me. Washu-chan(greatly relieved): WHEEWWWWWW... >Not in the way you are going to." Aeka: Why do I have a bad feeling about this...? P.Poet: Because we all know that she's going to have some hot freaky lesbian sex with Minagi. Aeka(annoyed): That was a rhetorical question, Poet!! >Ayeka blew in her ear. Minagi whimpered in fear. P.Poet: Hey! That rhymes! Asuka: Shut up Poet. P.Poet: But... Aeka: Shut up Poet. P.Poet: Yeah and so sucks to you! (Starts to rap.) Uhh! So Ayeka blew in her ear! Ear!! And Minagi whimpered in fear! Fear!! (Enter the logs.) *KAZAAKAZAAKAZAAAAAKAZAAAAAA!!!!!* Aeka: There! One Poet a-la crisp! > The riding crop went down her body again, stopping at >her thigh. Ayeka began kissing her neck. Wufei(Dracula): I vant ta sucka your blood! Vlah vlah vlah!! >Minagi's breath quickened. Suddenly she whimpered again. Ayeka >had begun rubbing the riding crop between Minagi's legs, creating a >pleasing friction between the fabric of her jumpsuit and >her venus cleft. Quatre(outraged): THAT IS AN OUTRIGHT ABUSE OF A RIDING CROP!!!! P.Poet: Why are you so tense about the riding crop anyway, Quatre? Quatre(>_<): I happen to LIKE horse-riding! If this goes on, how am I ever going to hold a riding crop in my hand without being reminded of THIS?!!! > "I assure you," Ayeka whispered as she kissed her >cheek. "You can find this quit pleasurable..." Asuka(Minagi): NO!!! AND "QUIT" PLEASURA-BLING ME!! P.Poet(to Asuka): If you don't like her, how about me then? Asuka(brings out "DA HAMMER!!!"): Sure. I like S&M. How about you? P.Poet: Uh, I think I'll answer that later... Asuka: Fine by me. Aeka(to Asuka): My, that's a big mallet, Asuka! Asuka: Yeah, I call it "DA HAMMER!!!". Aeka: The hammer? Asuka: No no..."DA HAMMER!!!". Aeka: Oh...I see... >She kissed Minagi's lip, nibbling on it. >"If you let it...and obey." All: DON'T OBEY HER!!!! KEEP SQUIRMING!!!! > Minagi squirmed in her bonds again in another vain >effort to escape. She felt the moisture between her legs P.Poet(weather-man): And a high level of humidity has been detected in between the legs of Minagi...(The other MST Avengers stare at Poet sinisterly.) This is the end of today's weather report and next, I shall have the crap beaten out of me for your pure viewing pleasure. P.Poet signing off. Thank you for watching. *ZZZZAAAAPPP!!!* *HEE-YAA!!!! BASH BASH BASH!!!* *BONK!!! BONK!!!! BONK!!!!* *POK POK POK POK POK!!!!!!!* *WE ARE HERE QUATRE-SAMA!!!!!* *KAZAAKAZAAKAZAAAKZAAA!!!!!* P.Poet(jello): Duhhhhhhh......duhhhh....... >as Ayeka rubbed the riding crop against her clit. Quatre: STOP DOING THAT!!!!! > "Ms. Ayeka...please, I..." she was cut off as Ayeka >kissed her. Minagi's eyes went wide as she felt the princess' >tongue enter her mouth. Wufei(twitching): ...... P.Poet: Holy French-kissing lesbians!!! Min-ohki: Miyack! Aeka(cringing): I can't look...I just can't look... Quatre(nose-bleeds): ...... Asuka: Quatre! Y-your nose!! Quatre: What about my nos...EEEEK!!!!! IT'S BLEEDING!!! (As Quatre is busy stuffing Kleenex into his nostrils, he notices that the others are observing him intently.) Quatre: What?! P.Poet: Shame on you, Quatre... Others: Shame... Quatre: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT MY NOSE HAD TO BLEED!!! Others(skeptical): Uh-huh. Quatre: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!! >Suddenly, Ayeka stopped and stepped back. From her kimono she >produced a wicked looking knife. All(praying): Please don't kill her please don't kill her please don't kill her... >Minagi tensed. Ayeka smiled and began cutting away Minagi's >clothes. All: Wheww...... >Minagi felt the cold blade of the knife kiss her skin, followed >shortly after by the noblewoman's lips and tongue. P.Poet: This is some really kooky stuff! Aeka: Regretfully, as the authors have promised... >Before long, Minagi was nude, All the guys(closing their eyes): MUST-NOT-LOOK!!! P.Poet: Hey!! Quit peeping, Wufei!!! Wufei: I wasn't peeping!!! And how would you know?!! Unless you were peeping too!!! P.Poet: WAS NOT!!!! Quatre(eyes still shut): I will remain calm. Even though there is an uneasy feeling stirring from my groin, I shall remain very VERY calm... Aeka & Asuka: Hentais!! >shaking in fear and a feeling she didn't understand. > Ayeka tossed the knife to one side P.Poet(someone being stabbed by careless knife toss): AIIIIEEEE!!!! >and began to remover her kimono. Wufei(commercial): For fast and effective removal of one's kimono, use Ayeka Brand Kimono Remover! P.Poet: Best used before hot freaky lesbian sex! YEAH!! Aeka(logs begin to appear): You try my patience, Poet... Asuka(wielding "DA HAMMER!!!"): And mine as well... P.Poet: Uhh...let me guess; shut up Poet? Aeka & Asuka: Correct. >Minagi's eyes widened Quatre: Oops! Jurain Cherry Wine kicked in again! >when she saw what Ayeka wore underneath. Asuka(mock astonishment): *Gasp!* Another kimono! >The princess stood before her arrayed in a black leather bra >but no panties, revealing a thick tuft of purple hair between >her legs. All(0_0!!!): ...... Min-ohki: Mi-yaa... P.Poet(staring at the screen): Asuka-chan? Asuka(also staring at the screen): What? P.Poet: About your previous question...if you came out looking like that, then consider me your willing and able S&M slave... *KA-BONK!!!* Asuka(with a vein throbbing on her forehead): FEELING SEXY YET?!!! P.Poet(*_*): Yeah......real sexy... Asuka: WANT SOME MORE?!!! P.Poet(*_*): Nope......thank you... Wufei & Quatre(staring at Aeka): ...... Aeka(indigniant): Why are all of you looking at me like that?! Wufei: Uhh...nothi... Quatre: We were just wondering if you really had it that thick down there as... Wufei(covering Quatre's mouth): As we were saying...heh heh!! Nothing!! Nothing at ALL, Aeka! Heh heh!! Aeka(squinting at them): It had better be... >Ayeka grinned Quatre: See? Now her face is stuck permanently in a grin. >and approached Minagi again. > "Ms. Ayeka, please..." She gasped as Ayeka slapped her >in the face. > "You will address me as, 'Oujo sama.'" she ordered. All(except Aeka): Right, Oujo-dong dong. Aeka(Ayeka): NOT OUJO-DONG DONG!!! OUJO-SAMA!!! All(except Aeka): Okay, Oujo-a-yippee-kai-yay. Aeka(Ayeka): I SAID; CALL ME OUJO-SAMA!!! All(except Aeka): Whatever you say, Oujo-a-hooha Aeka(Ayeka): AAARRRRRGGHH!!! > Minagi licked her lips and decided to try again. >Ayeka began to run her tongue around Minagi's left nipple >while her hands gently caressed her ass. P.Poet(standing on his seat): Look!! Others: What?! P.Poet: There goes the plot of this fic!! Wufei: You're right! And I can see the characterization following right behind it! Asuka: Along with the dignity of the characters! > "Um...Oujo sama..it's not that I'm..." she paused to >gasp, "not flattered but...but..please, Ms. Ayeka, I..." > She realized her mistake a split second before Ayeka >made her aware of it by biting her nipple. All(hands to chest/breast): OUCH!!! Quatre: Sh-she bit her-her... Asuka: I know, Quatre, I KNOW!! Wufei(0_0): ...... Min-ohki: MIYA?! P.Poet(nervously): Uh...Aeka, I mean, Oujo-sama...you can hit me, kick me, zap me or whatever; just don't do er, that to me, o-okay? Aeka: DON'T BE DISGUSTING POET!!! I'M NOT LIKE THAT!!!! P.Poet(nervously): Uhh...okay. Whatever you say, Oujo-sama... Aeka(pulling at her hair): YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!! > "OUJO SAMA!" Minagi cried out in pleasant pain. "I >meant Oujo sama!" Ayeka ignored her. She ran her tongue >down her captive's stomach. Asuka(Minagi): Hee hee ha ha!! I'm ticklish!! P.Poet(making a note): Hmmm...Asuka ticklish. Okay. Asuka: Just what are you doing? P.Poet(sticking out his tongue): And you think I'M going to tell you! >Minagi whimpered when Ayeka stopped at her cunt. Ayeka reached >out with her fingers and found Minagi's clit. Minagi's breath >quickened as Ayeka's fingers caressed her swollen girl cock. All the guys(0_0;;): SWOLLEN GIRL COCK?!!!! All the gals(->_<-): DON'T LOOK AT US!!!!!!! >Minagi gasped and arched her back as Ayeka inserted a finger >into the young girl's cunt. P.Poet(Ayeka): Whoops! Accidentally slipped a finger in there! (A vein pops out of Aeka's forehead.) > "Do you like that, little slut?" Ayeka asked her >huskily. All: No. P.Poet: And who are you calling a little slut, you big slut! >Minagi blushed a deep red, but could only mewl in pleasure as a >response. Min-ohki(deadpan Minagi): Mi-ya. Mi-ya. Mi-ya. >Ayeka stood up, but continued to massage Minagi's cunt with her >finger. Minagi closed her eyes and panted as Ayeka inserted a >second finger into her. P.Poet(Ayeka): Whoops!! Accidentally slipped another finger in there!! (Another bigger vein pops out of Aeka's head.) >Ayeka grinned Quatre: Her face ought to hurt by now. Even I can't grin for that long... >and closed her mouth around Minagi's right nipple, her other hand >roamed up the girl's back. Minagi groaned in a pleasure she had >never felt before. Her heart was racing, the fear was still there, >but it took a backseat to the sensations of lust she was feeling. >Her cunt felt like an oven. P.Poet(Ayeka): AHHH!! MY FINGERS ARE BURNING!!!!! Aeka(suddenly shooting up to ten feet tall with fire blazing around her): I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU YOU STUPID LITTLE PERVERT!!!! P.Poet(crouching in his seat): AHHHHHHHH!!!! I'M SORRY OUJO-SAMA!!! I'M SORRY!!! JUST DON'T BITE MY NIPPLE!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Others(sweat-dropping): ...... >All she could feel was Ayeka's fingers plunging in and out of her. >Her head rolled from side to side. The feelings were intensifying. >Minagi began to wail in pleasure... Asuka(Minagi wailing): WAHHHHHHH!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! WAHHHHHH!!!! > Suddenly, Ayeka stopped. All: Huh?! Wufei(to Asuka): How did you do that, woman? Asuka: Beats me. > Minagi blinked in surprise. "Wha..." > Ayeka grinned up at her. P.Poet: Her grinning is beginning to annoy the heck out of me. > "Ms..er...Oujo sama...you..." > Ayeka moved closer and whispered in her ear. "Would >my little slut like me to continue?" All: No. Asuka: And would big slut like a tight slap across the face? > Minagi swallowed again. She felt the beads of sweat >rolling down her forehead. "Y..Yes, Oujo sama," she gasped >out. > Ayeka grinned. P.Poet: ARRRGHHHHH!!! STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT!!! >"What do we say?" All: Blah blah blah yak yak yak. > Minagi struggled to think through the lust filled haze >that had engulfed her brain. P.Poet(closes his eyes and reaches out with his hands): Can't...think-properly!! Lust...filled haze...engulfing-my-brain!!! (Poet tries to reach out for Asuka, but Asuka is well-prepared.) Min-ohki(in cabbit form): Miya *chomp*!! P.Poet: OWWWWW!!! What the...?! Min-ohki: Miya! Asuka: HA! I knew you were up to no good! P.Poet(tries to put his arm around Asuka): But Asuka-chan... Min-ohki: Miya *CHOMP*!!!! P.Poet: OWWWWWWWW!!!!!! Asuka(to Min-ohki): Thanks Min-chan! Min-ohki(beaming): Miya pika pika!! P.Poet(nursing his red and raw fingers): Aww, fiddlesticks!! >All her attention was focused on that small area between her legs. P.Poet(Minagi): Hmmm, I wonder if several snapping tentacles are going to come out screeching from there... *ZZZZAAAAPPP!!!* *HEE-YAA!!!! BASH BASH BASH!!!* *BONK!!! BONK!!!! BONK!!!!* *POK POK POK POK POK!!!!!!!* *WE ARE HERE QUATRE-SAMA!!!!!* *KAZAAKAZAAKAZAAAKZAAA!!!!!* Washu-chan: Is it just me or is Poet getting more and more disgusting with each and every MST we do? Others(except Poet): Poet. P.Poet(recovering): Sure, blame me for being the freaky one... Asuka: Poet, we're not blaming you. P.Poet: Then? Asuka: We're beating the crap out of you for being the freaky one. P.Poet(sarcastic): Well, thank you for being sooooo supportive!! Others: You're welcome. >She tried to wriggle enough to force Ayeka's digits inside, P.Poet(Austin Powers): Yeah!! Dance baby DANCE!!!! Yeah!! Shake that bon-bon YEAH!!! Aeka: Poet. P.Poet(turns to Aeka): Hmmm? Aeka: You are one sick puppy. P.Poet: Arf arf arf. >but the princess' fingers danced away from her. > "What do we say?" Ayeka repeated. All: Akamafoofoo timbuctoo. > Minagi thought desperately. "Please, Oujo sama, do >what you were doing." > Ayeka's left hand came up and grabed a handful of >Minagi's cyan hair. She pulled back roughly. Minagi cried >out in pain. "No," Ayeka whispered. "What do we say?" All: Ding dong a bing bong dong. > Minagi blinked back tears. She was so close to >something wonderful. She could feel it. It would only take >a little more... > "Please, Oujo sama..." > "'Please, Oujo sama, make me Asuka: Sick. Aeka: Puke. Wufei: Barf. Quatre: Hurl. >cum.'" Ayeka supplied. P.Poet(game-show host): Wroooong answer, contestants!!! Asuka: Big fat hairy deal. > "Please, Oujo sama," Minagi gasped out, "Make me Asuka: Sick. Aeka: Puke. Wufei: Barf. Quatre: Hurl. >cum." P.Poet: You guys will say anything except that word, huh? Aeka: You are correct. > "Beg for it, slut!" Ayeka growled, emphasizing this >with another tug of her hair. "Beg me to make you Asuka: Sick. Aeka: Puke. Wufei: Barf. Quatre: Hurl. >cum." P.Poet: I think you guys can stop now. Wufei: Make us. > Minagi's face turned red from the huskiness tone. She >licked her lips and said, "Please, Oujo sama, please make me Asuka: Sick. Aeka: Puke. Wufei: Barf. Quatre: Hurl. >cum. P.Poet: That joke is wearing thin, guys. Quatre: And your point is...? >Please!" > Ayeka grinned. Wufei: CUT THAT OUT!!!! >Minagi gasped in ecstacy as she felt Ayeka's fingers move inside >her. She began to squirm and pull against her bonds. Suddenly, >she was wracked with an incredible feeling of pleasure! Her muscles >spasmed, P.Poet: Her bones knitted. >her hands clenched and unclenched, Asuka: Her eyelids fluttered. >her fingernails biting into her palms almost to the point of >drawing blood. She cried out in pleasure. Aeka(dull): Ah. Pleasure. > When it was over, her breath came in ragged gasps, and >she felt something trickling down her leg. She looked up at >Ayeka, who was giving her that devilish grin again. Asuka(cringing): NO MORE!!! NO-MORE-GRINNING!!!!! >She felt Ayeka remove her hand from her cunt. Ayeka ran the >wet fingers up Minagi's stomach, Aeka: Minagi will need a bath after this. >across her breasts, Aeka: I stand corrected. Minagi will need a good LONG bath after this. >and up her neck, Washu-chan: ENOUGH ALREADY!!! >stopping at the girl's lips. Quatre: This is not good...not good at all... >Minagi's breath quickened as Ayeka gently touched her lips. >Minagi shook her head slightly, but Ayeka would hear nothing >of it. She wormed her fingers into Minagi's mouth. All the gals: THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!! P.Poet(trying hard to remain light-hearted): And after where her finger's been! Eeaarghh!!! Wufei: I-HATE-THIS-LEMON!!!!!! Quatre(nose-bleeds again): Kleenex!!! Kleenex!!! > Minagi tasted the sweet nectar on Ayeka's fingers, the >taste of her own sex and found herself licking the juice from >the well manicured fingers. After a few seconds of this, >Ayeka's fingers were replaced by her tongue as Ayeka kissed >her, her tongue scouring her mouth for a taste of Minagi's >cum. Wufei(sobbing): Make it go away! Make it GO AWAY!!! Quatre(closes his eyes): I'm not looking!! I don't want another nose-bleed!!!! Min-ohki(covering her face with her floppy ears): PIKA!!!! Washu-chan: WHY?! WHY MUST IT BE MINAGI?!! Aeka: WHY?! WHY MUST IT BE ME?!!!! Asuka(covering her eyes): There's no place like home!! There's no place like home!! P.Poet(really angry): I-HAVE-HAD-IT!!!!! STOP DEGRADING MINAGI AND AEKA LIKE THIS YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!! RRRRRRRR......!!!!! (Takes a deep breath.) Must calm down...there will be time for revenge later...must calm down...(meditating) Ohmm-da-bai-narai-yana...... > When they separated, Ayeka caressed Minagi's cheek. >"Did you enjoy that, little slut?" All: NO YOU BIG DIRTY SLUT!!!!! >Minagi found herself nodding. P.Poet: I hate it when they don't listen to us. > "Y..yes, Oujo sama." P.Poet: I really do hate it. > Ayeka grinned. "Good, because it's my turn, and you're >going to *work* for what I have given you!" All(dull): Uh-huh. > Minagi's eyes went wide Quatre(Minagi): Ju-rain Cherry Wine!!! >as some of the fear returned. With an nonverbal cue, the vines released >Minagi, and she fell to the ground. > "Follow me, slut," Ayeka told her. P.Poet: Make me, slut!!!! >Minagi started to climb to her feet, but Ayeka stopped her. "No! You will >not stand! Now follow me!" Washu-chan(agitated): WHAT?!! P.Poet(trying to remain calm): Somebody's gonna pay...big time!! >Minagi's face grew hot at the humiliation of it and began to crawl after >Ayeka, who led her back to the table and chairs where they had shared lunch >not too long ago. P.Poet: And away from the vines where they had some hot freaky lesbian sex not too long ago. > Ayeka turned and sat in a chair. Minagi knelt before >her, her face turned away as tears ran down her cheeks. What >had she gotten herself into by accepting that invitation from >Ayeka? P.Poet: She got herself into some HOT FREAKY LESBIAN SEX BAY-BEE!!!!!!!! Aeka: Poet, why do you keep using that disgusting phrase? P.Poet: I'm milking that stupid phrase for all it's worth so as to put other lemon writers off of it. > "Well, slut," Ayeka said in an imperious voice. "What >are you waiting for? Quatre: For the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse. Asuka: For the sky to drop onto our heads. P.Poet: For Tenchi to make a choice between you or Ryoko. Aeka: Hey!! P.Poet: Heh heh heh... >Eat me out Wufei: Of house and home. >." Minagi shook her head quickly. Ayeka's riding crop appeared >in her hand. Quatre(groans): Not the riding crop!! >"Now," she said with a strong hint of threat in her voice. P.Poet(The Red Guy): Ooooo...I'm shaking in my booties... > Minagi whimpered and crawled to Ayeka. She placed her >face between the princess' legs, smelled her scent. All(pinching their noses): PEEEEEE-UUU!!!!!! >She was already wet. Minagi saw her lips through the thick matte >of purple hair. Quatre(puzzled): Guys...when did Ayeka grow a beard? Others(face-faulting): Uhh...... > "And don't you dare think of touching yourself while >you work," Ayeka told her sternly. All(touching themselves): Touch touch touch!!! >"You've already had your turn, now you exist for *my* pleasure. >Understand?" Asuka(Minagi): Nope. > "Yes, Oujo sama." Minagi took a nervous breath and >began. She felt Ayeka tense, then heard the princess sigh >contentedly. Aeka(deadpan): Oo. Ah. Content. > "Good, little slut, good. Just keep doing that." > Minagi continued to eat the princess P.Poet: Somehow, that sentence does not settle well with me. Aeka(right eyebrow twitching): Nor with me. >out, doing what she thought *she* would find pleasurable. Her >tongue darted back and forth, in and out P.Poet(brings out plumber's friend): Like a plumber's friend to a clogged up toilet!!! Others: POET!!!!! Washu-chan: And put that thing away!!! >. Thinking of this, P.Poet(still holding onto the plumber's friend): What? The plumber's friend? Asuka: Poet!!! Put that thing away before we use it on your face!!! P.Poet(keeping the plumber's friend): Alright alright!!! >however, caused her to become wet again, herself. Quatre: Bad English, they wrote. Wufei: Caused us to puke again, ourselves. >She looked up at Ayeka's face and saw that the princess' eyes were closed. Asuka: Ayeka had died from too much pleasure. All the guys & Aeka: Asuka!!! Asuka: Well, someone has to do these parts!! >Minagi's hand trailed down to her cleft. She began to stroke >her own clit slowly, hoping that Ayeka wouldn't catch her, >and at the same time, hoping she *would*. All(dull): Uh-huh. > She was just beginning to enjoy it when she felt >Ayeka tense. "What did I tell you about that?!" Asuka(Minagi): Tell me about what? Aeka(Ayeka): That! Asuka(Minagi): What? Aeka(Ayeka): That! Asuka(Minagi): What? Aeka(Ayeka): That! Asuka(Minagi): What? Aeka(Ayeka): That! P.Poet(covering his ears): ARRRRRGGHH!!!! SHUT-UP!!!!! Asuka(hi-fives Aeka): We did it! We actually annoyed the Poet, The Grand High Cheese-Ball!!! Aeka(giggling): He Who Sprouts Corn From His Ears!!! P.Poet(rather annoyed): I-GET-THE-PICTURE-OKAY?!!! (Everyone else is unable to stop giggling.) >Minagi's hand jerked away from her pussy as if her cunt had >burst into flames. P.Poet(Inferno): BURNNNNNNNN!!!!! FIRE BURRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Wufei: You've been watching too many episodes of "Beast Wars", Poet. P.Poet(bombast): Psychomatic Poet, BEAST MODE!!!! Asuka: And you transform into a chicken. Wufei: A hamster. Quatre: A cabbit!! Min-ohki: Pi-ka-CHU!!!! P.Poet(indigniant): HEY!!!!! Others: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! >Ayeka's expression was harsh. "You filthy slut," she accused. > Minagi felt the fear well up again. "Please, Oujo sama, >I..." > "SILENCE! You will have to be punished." P.Poet: So will the f*beeeeep*kers who wrote this lemon. (Predacon Megatron) Yessss...... >Minagi began to whimper. "And who told you to stop!?" Minagi >began to work on Ayeka's cunt again, P.Poet(looks at readers): I know this is going to hurt me a lot, BUT....... (Sings) OH...she's been working on Ayeka's cunt all the live long DAY!!!!! She's been working on Ayeka's cunt...(Shields himself. Nothing happens.) Huh? (Poet finds no reaction from the other MST Avengers.) P.Poet(puzzled): Uh, you guys are not, uh, going to uh... Asuka: Kill you? P.Poet(nervous): Uh-huh...*gulp* Wufei: Nah. That's too crude. P.Poet(sweating profusely): Then...? Aeka: We're going to do...THIS!!!! GRAB HIM!!!!! All(except Poet): BANZAIIIII!!!!!!!! P.Poet: AAAHHHHHH!!! >even more furiously than before, hoping to make up for her transgression. >She felt Ayeka move, lean closer to her. (Poet is pinned down by the others.) Asuka: GET HIS PLUMBER'S FRIEND!!! Aeka(rummaging through Poet's pockets): GOT IT!!! P.Poet(struggling): WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO DO?!!! Quatre: We're going to pump all those dirty ideas out of you, Poet!! Aeka(with the plumber's friend in her hands): Mweh heh heh... P.Poet(0_0): NOOOOOOOOOOOO*POOK!!!!* (Aeka chucks the plumber's friend right into Poet's face and begins to pump.) *POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA!!!!!!* >She heard something whistle through the air, then a sharp crack as the >riding crop struck her ass. P.Poet: MORRRFFF MORF MRFFFF!!!!!!! Min-ohki: Pika pika miya? Wufei: What is he trying to say? Asuka: I dunno. Aeka: Let us see...(Removes the plumber's friend.) *POOK!* P.Poet(screaming at the top of his lungs): SHE'S BEEN WORKIN' ON AYEKA'S CUNT!!!!!! ALL THE LIVE LONG *POOK!!!!!* Aeka(gritting her teeth): I really regret removing this from his face... P.Poet: MRRRFFFF MRRRFFFFF MOORKKFFFF!!!!!!!! All(except Poet): OH SHUT UP!!!!! *POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA!!!!!!* > Minagi bit down a cry, a sole tear made its way down >her cheek. She felt the bite of the crop again, and bit her lip. Washu-chan: Is he dead yet? *POOK!!* P.Poet: YOU SLIDE YOUR JOHNSON IN!!!!! YOU SLIDE YOUR JOHNSON OUT *POOK!!!* Aeka: Apparently not. Asuka(irritated): And he's still resilient. Wufei: Pump some more!! *POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA POOKA!!!!!!* >Suddenly, Ayeka had a handful of her hair. She pulled >Minagi's face up until the girl was looking up into Ayeka >wrathful, purple eyes. Quatre(worried): Uh guys...he's starting to turn blue... Others: Uh-huh. Interesting. Min-ohki(also worried): Miya miya... Aeka(reluctantly): Oh alright. *POOK!!!* P.Poet: *GAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Asuka: Are you going to sing any more ditties...? (Poet shakes his head furiously.) Washu-chan: Are those dirty ideas out of your head? (Poet nods his head furiously.) All(except Poet): Good. Washu-chan(returns to her place): Let's go back to MSTing the lemon, shall we, kiddies? (They all return to their respective seats.) Asuka: Aeka, why are you still holding onto that? (Points to the plumber's friend in Aeka's hands.) Aeka: Oh, I rather like this thing. Very useful against perverts. P.Poet(0_o): My face hurts... > "If you cry out, slut," Ayeka told her, "I want to >*hear* it." Wufei: I don't know what's going on, BUT...... All(taking in a deep breath): AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quatre: *gasp*...Do you think she heard us? Aeka: I *gasp* think so. > Minagi blinked as more tears ran down her face. >"Y..yes, Oujo sama." > Ayeka pushed Minagi's head back between her legs. >She lapped at Ayeka's cunt as she heard the riding crop come >down again. Washu-chan(with a vein on her fist): Pervert writers must pay...... Wufei: Wah ta mah de hao bian tai!!! ("Woah that is damn perverted!!!" in Chinese.) Quatre(through clenched teeth): Minagi-is-not-a-horse. Minagi-is-a-person. Why-must-they-do-this-to-her? Aeka(looking very sad): I think I'm going to cry now... Min-ohki: Miya pika... >This time, Minagi cried out in pain, as she did when the crop came down >again, and again. All: STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!! >Finally, only when Minagi was bawling her eyes out, P.Poet: Hey! Raptor's eye-popping trick... Min-ohki(grumpy): PIKA!! P.Poet: Uh-oh! Sorry Min-chan. I forgot that you don't like Raptor's weird tricks. Min-ohki: Miya. >did Ayeka stop. All: FINALLY!! > Ayeka gasped and grabbed another handful of Minagi's >hair, pushing her closer to her cunt. The muscles in her >thighs began to spasm. Suddenly, Ayeka came! Washu-chan(dull): Whoo-pee. Wufei(dull): Cow-a-bung-ga. Quatre(dull): Yee-ha. Asuka(dull): Yay. Min-ohki(dull): Mi-yay. Aeka(dull): Yippee-kai-yay P.Poet(dull): Fun-ky-chic-ken. Others: Funky chicken?! P.Poet(smiling): I was inspired... >Minagi lapped up the nectar like a kitten would milk. Quatre: Like bees would honey. Asuka: Like flies would rubbish. P.Poet: Like pervert lemon writers would shit. Others(to Poet): You win. P.Poet(The Red Guy): Of course. > "All of it, slut! Get it all!" Ayeka gasped out. Aeka: Spit it out, Minagi!! Spit it OUT!! P.Poet: Aeka shouted out. >Minagi did her best and managed to get most of it. Even >so, her lips and chin were covered in cum. (Those who are drinking beer spew out the beverage simultaneously.) Quatre(annoyed): Poet? P.Poet: Yes, Quatre? Quatre(still annoyed): Next time, watch where you're discharging your beer. Please. P.Poet: Why? Quatre: Ahem. (The MST Avengers turn to see a wet and wretched Quatre who is soaked in beer.) P.Poet(embarrassed): Uh, sorry 'bout that, Quatre...heh...let me help you with that... Quatre: Uh-huh. P.Poet: No, really... (Poet snaps his fingers and the wet clothes on Quatre turn dry. But there's one small little problem.) P.Poet: There!! All nice and dry! Quatre(left eyebrow twitching): POET!! P.Poet: What?! Quatre: You do notice something wrong, don't you? P.Poet(looking at Quatre): Uhh...... Quatre(red in the face with a vein on his forehead): I'M WEARING MY PANTS ON THE TOP AND MY SHIRT ON THE BOTTOM!!!!! Others: Pfffffff.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (Poet snaps his fingers again and Quatre's attire returns back to normal.) P.Poet: I am really, really sorry, Quatre. Quatre: Uh-huh. (The others are still in a giggling fit.) >Ayeka had cum a small river. P.Poet(old-timer): And that, young'uns, was the story of how Lady Cum Creek was formed and it's been cummin' ever since...HOO-HOOOOOOO-WEE!! Others(>_<): POET!!!! P.Poet: Yes? Others(->_<-): YOU-ARE-SO...SO... P.Poet: So what? Others(=>_<=): AARRRRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! P.Poet(amused): That's a new one. > She felt Ayeka grab her hair again and pull her up. >Minagi found herself leaning against the princess. Ayeka >kissed her, once again scouring Minagi's mouth, but this >time, it was for her own juices. P.Poet(hustler): Pssssst...hey buddy! Hey!! Yeah you!! Wanna buy some black market Ayeka Juice? Others(slapping their foreheads): ....... Aeka(brings out the plumber's friend and in a very sinister tone): Either you apologize for that, or you get a plumber's friend in your face, Poet...... P.Poet(fearful): I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!! Aeka: That's better. > After several minutes of kissing, Ayeka released Minagi. She leaned forward and pushed Minagi to the ground. Washu-chan(teacher): Now now, kiddies, play nice! Aeka(Ayeka as little girl): Don't wanna!! Huh!! Asuka(Minagi as little girl): *sniff sniff* Me gonna to cry...WAHHHHHH!!!! >Minagi, having learned the rules of the game, did not try to stand. >She looked up at the princess. Wufei: The Attack of The Fifty-Foot Ayeka!! Others(mock shock): AHHHHHHH!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! P.Poet(turns to readers): If you're wondering why our lips were still moving even after we had finished speaking, we were trying to imitate the bad dubbing that was evident in the old "Godzilla" movies. Thank you. > "Jerk off, slut," Ayeka ordered. P.Poet(starts vibrating in his seat): Jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk...... Others(0_0;;;;;): ....... Washu-chan: What the heck are you doing? P.Poet(still vibrating): Jer-jer-jer-jerkin'-off-f-f-f-f-f-f-wh-wh-wh-wh-why-y-y-y? Washu-chan(shaking her head): Forget that I even asked... > Minagi turned red, but obeyed. Her fingers found her >clit, and she began massaging it, gently at first, then with >more vigor. She looked up and saw Ayeka staring down at her. >The thought of the princess watching her as she fucked >herself pushed her over the edge. She cried out as her >second orgasm took her. Aeka(Minagi deadpan): Ah. Second orgasm taking me. Ah. >She fell backwards onto the floor of Ryu-Oh, her fingers still >massaging her clit. > She opened her eyes and saw Ayeka standing over her, >grinning. All(deranged): MUST-KILL-G-G-G-GRIN!!!!!!! > A few minutes later, they were both sitting in one of >the shallow pools of water in Ryu-Oh. Minagi sat with her >back to Ayeka, whose fingers trailed gently up and down the >young woman's body P.Poet: To search for fleas. (Everyone breaks out in laughter.) >. Minagi mewled and snuggled closer to >the princess. > "Oujo sama?" > Ayeka smiled. "Yes?" Asuka(Minagi): Can you please stop smiling? It's getting on my nerves. > "Can we do that again sometime?" All: HECK NO!!!!! > Ayeka's smile got wider. All(pulling at their own hair): AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! >"Of course. Anytime you like. You just have to swear never to tell >*anyone* of what happens between the two of us. P.Poet(Minagi): Right. HEY TENCHI!!!! I JUST HAD HOT FREAKY LESBIAN SEX WITH AYEKA!!!!! AND SHE SAYS THAT WE CAN DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!!!!! >If you do...I'll have to punish you...severely." P.Poet: Uh-oh... Aeka: Poet...... (Enter the logs.) *KAZAAKAZAAKAZAAAKAAAAZAAA!!!!!* P.Poet(*-*): *oui*...... > A feeling of fear as well as a distinct thrill ran up >her spine. "Yes, Oujo sama." P.Poet(*-*): *that's exactly what i'm feeling right now*....... Aeka: Really? > "Good," Ayeka said. "Very good." She smiled. "Now, >then, all I have to do is figure out how to get Ryoko to >have lunch with us." All(hysterical): ARRRGGGHHHHH!!! THREE-WAY HOT FREAKY LESBIAN SEX!!!!! RUN!!!!!! RUN!!!!!! > Minagi felt a thrill run through her at that statement. >She sat back and allowed her mind to play with the idea. All: WHAT WE JUST SCREAMED!!!!!!!! > Together, the two drifted off to sleep. Asuka: Face down, in the shallow pools of water, of Ryu-Oh. Quatre: That can't be good. > Please send comments P.Poet: Flames. >and critiques P.Poet: And more flames. >to: > James St. John-Smythe at Targeter@otakumail.com and to > Kazam at kazam@otakumail.com P.Poet: And now we know their freakin' names...(Looking very sinister.) Heh heh heh... Washu-chan: The blasted lemon, is over, kiddies... P.Poet: Okay Avengers, (French accent) "comments and critiques" time. Wufei: Degrading Quatre: Very degrading. Asuka: Extremely degrading. Washu-chan: Degrading to the nth degree. Min-ohki: PIKA-BLEH KA-BLEH KA-BLEH KA-BLEH!!! P.Poet: Okayyy... Aeka(head in her hands): MY DIGNITY!!! ALL RUINED!!! RUINED I SAY!!!! *SOB!!!* I think I'm going to cry now... P.Poet: Oh come on, Aeka; there IS this wonderous little thing that I call "Revenge" you know... Aeka(sinisterly): (Predacon Megatron) Yesssss...and it's a dish best served Hell- freezing-over-cold...mweh eh eh eh eh eh eh...... Asuka: Please stop that, Aeka. Quatre: You're scaring us. Min-ohki(agreeing): Miyaaa... *** "Lunch?" repeated James St. Hamanahamanahamana for the fourth time in a row. "At The Style & Moments Cafe. See you there. Signed, your greatest female fan..." The card ended with a red hot lipstick mark that seemed to herald interesting possibilities. James St. Pffffff sniffed at the card, the sweet scent of rose perfume wafting into his nostrils as he strolled along a row of fancy shops and cafes. "This...is going to be fun..." muttered James St. Wakawaka. Going around a corner, James St. Oonga bumped carelessly into another person, causing him to drop his card onto the side-walk. "Watch where you're going, chump...James?!" "Kazam?!" Indeed, it was his friend, Kazam-bam-thank-you-ma'am. "Where are you off to, Kazam?" asked James. Smiling, wham-bam-Kazam replied, "You won't believe this, but I got an invitation to lunch with a female fan!!" "Hey! Me too!" exclaimed James St. Bleh as he picked up his card from the floor and showed it to Kazam-I-am-one-big-sham. "The Style & Moments Cafe...must be around here somewhere..." As they both looked around, they came face to face with a modest-looking sign that read: "THE STYLE & MOMENTS CAFE". "This must be it," remarked James St. DUH before they both entered the cafe. "Heh, I wonder if she's into kinky sex..." And strangely enough, to the trained eye, one could note that "THE STYLE & MOMENTS CAFE", could also be abbreviated to "THE S&M CAFE". A coincidence you say...? Don't count on it. *** (Inside the cafe...) Wufei(in a waiter's outfit): Yes? Kazam: We're looking for someone. Wufei: Your names please. James: James St. John-Smythe. Kazam: Kazam. Wufei(checking the register): Why yes, I do believe that someone has reserved a table for three. Please follow me. (Wufei leads them to a table. Kazam and James sit down and make themselves comfortable.) Wufei: Your hostess will be with you shortly. Can I get you anything while you wait? James: No thank you. Wufei: Very good. I do hope you will have a good time here. Heh heh heh... (And just as Wufei leaves them, metallic tentacles snake out from behind their chairs and latch themselves onto both James and Kazam, strapping them tightly to their chairs.) James(struggling): HEY?!!!! Kazam(also struggling): What gives?!!!! James: WAITER!!! MY CHAIR JUST SPROUTED TENTACLES!!! WAITER!!!!! (Trap-doors beneath them give way and they drop into the basement.) Wufei(speaking into hidden mic): Lemon packages coming your way, Poet. I will be joining you shortly. Wufei over and out. *** (Down in the basement...) James: LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!! Kazam: I WANT MY MOMMY!!!! Someone: SHUT UP YOU TWO!! Kazam: Who...who are you?! Aeka(in her S&M outfit and wielding her wicked whip): Don't you know who I am, dog? James & Kazam: Ayeka!!! Aeka: Let me remind you two...(Cracks her whip.) THAT I AM YOUR MISTRESS YOU DOGS!!!!! James & Kazam(cowering in fear): AHHHH!!! MISTRESS MISTRESS MISTRESS MISTRESS!!!!! Aeka(whips both of them): WRONG!!!! James & Kazam: OWWWWW!!! OW OW OW OW OW!!!!!!! Aeka: You two dogs will call me Oujo-sama!! SAY IT!!! James & Kazam(panicky): OUJO-SAMA OUJO-SAMA OUJO-SAMA OUJO-SAMAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Aeka(grins devilishly): Such good dogs. And you know what do dogs like you do? They lick each other... James: P-p-please, l-l-let us off...we didn't do anything to you... Aeka: SILENCE DOGS!!!! P.Poet: If you didn't do anything to her, then what do you call the lemon you two wrote? James & Kazam(trying to look intelligent): Uhhhhh...... P.Poet: Exactly. Kazam: And who are you anyway?!! P.Poet: We... (The other MST Avengers step into the light.) P.Poet: ...are The MST Avengers. (The Red Guy) Helloooooo...!! Quatre: How could you make two respectable girls do all those despicable things in your guava?!!! Others: Lemon. Quatre: Whatever. Washu-chan: And how DARE you use my daughter for your perverted fic! Min-ohki(baring her fangs): *HISSSSSSSSSSS.......!!!!!!* Asuka: Cabbit got your tongue, eh boys? Wufei: And... James: THE WAITER DID IT!! Wufei: Yes, thank you for pointing that out. And thus, we have come to punish both you hentais in the name of violent JUSTICE!!!! P.Poet: And so whip away, Aeka... Aeka: I know I'm going to ENJOY this...OH HO HO HO!!! James & Kazam: Wha-wha-what are you going to do to us?!!! Aeka: SHUT UP DOGS!!! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!!! James & Kazam: YES OUJO-SAMA!!!! Aeka(in a sinister tone): I want the both of you to bite each other's nipples...hard. (Everyone face-faults and sweat-drops.) James: B-b-but... P.Poet(nervously): Uh, Aeka... Aeka(sinisterly): Do you want to join them, Poet? P.Poet(meekly): *gulp* No, ma'am. Aeka: Then shut up. P.Poet(meekly): Yes, ma'am. Aeka(turns back to James & Kazam): Well? Get with it, dogs! Kazam(sweating profusely): Please... Aeka(starts whipping ferociously at James & Kazam): DO IT!!!!! James & Kazam: EEEE!!! OW OW OUCH AHH!!!! OWWW!!!! Aeka(grabbing James & Kazam's hair): If you cry out, dogs, I want to hear it... James & Kazam: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aeka: OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO...!!! P.Poet(to the others): All in favor of getting out of here, RUN!!! (All the MST Avengers bamboozle the heck out of the room where Aeka is torturing James & Kazam. From the outside, they can still hear their voices.) Aeka: START BITING!!!! (Sounds of a whip being cracked and a short pause later...) James & Kazam: OUCH!!! Aeka: OH HO HO HO HO HO!!! (The MST Avengers look at one another nervously.) Wufei(sweat-drops): She, uh, really made them bite each other's, uh, nipples... Asuka: I do believe so, Wufei. Quatre(pale): Scary. Very scary. Very very scary. Min-ohki: Mi-mi-miya!! Washu-chan: I've never seen Aeka like that before...she must really be angry. P.Poet: Just imagine if someone wrote a lesbian lemon of you and Ryoko; how would you feel? Washu-chan(screwy-faced): I get the picture Poet!! Thank you for that disgusting idea!!! Oui!! (Something begins to go "deet deet deet".) Wufei: What's that sound? Washu-chan(brings out her holo-console): We've got mail! Now let's see...(She starts to type.) Hmmm...it's from someone called Tracer. Quatre: What does it say? Washu-chan: It says: >Hey All: Hey! >-I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed both MSTings from the >MST Avengers. Please do more! Thanx-Tracer Wufei: Well, what do you know; someone actually likes what we're doing! P.Poet: Yeah!! Thanks for the encouragement, Tracer!! Asuka: It's people like him that make MSTing pervert lemons much more easier to bear. Thanx Tracer!!! Min-ohki: Miya pika!! Washu-chan: And rest assured that we will be doing more MSTs in the future... James & Kazam: OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All(sweat-dropping): ...... Quatre: I wonder how Raptor is doing at that Boy-Band Convention? Aeka: OH HO HO HO HO HO!!! P.Poet: Well, I hope that he's having as much fun as we are... *** (Somewhere, down in sunny California...) *BRAPA BRAPA BRAPA BRAPA BRAPA BRAPA!!!!!!!!!!!* A bunch of sissy boys(running and screaming like school girls): YYEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raptor(running after them with a big chain-saw): AAARRR-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! COME BACK HERE YOUSE SISSIES!!! I'M GETTIN' HUNGRY!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ================================================================================================= "My Panther my Brother We are at War until you're free" Free Mumia Abu-Jamal. http://www.ratm.com/action/index.html Death to politricks and all its practitioners. Burn NATO burn. Say no to WTO.