This is my first MSTing of a Tenchi Muyo! fanfic, and, heck, why not just admit I've never done anything at all like this before. Needless to say, but said anyway, I need a lot of feedback. Or I might do it again! :-) This fic was composed while (hopefully) listening non-stop to Godsmack, Disturbed, Jethro Tull, and Tenchi Muyo! Quatre and Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing, and Radical Edward and Cowboy Bebop, are the property of Bandai Entertainment and Sunrise Inc. Krillin the bald freak and Dragonball (Z) belong to Toei animation. dreddnott@yahoo.com rogue_62095@yahoo.com **** [uhhh...four flies on gray velvet?] In AD 2001... [outside view of the starship MST-62095 Rogue] Fanfic was beginning. [scene transits to interior] [enter dreddnott, wearing an admiral uniform he stole from Piett] [dreddnott: What happen?!] [Rogue_62095: Somebody set up us the fanfic!] [Rogue_62096: We get text file!] [dreddnott: What!!] [Rogue_62095: Main Screen Turn On!] [the ghostly face of Clare appears on the holoscanner] [Clare: How are you gentlemen!! All your story are belong to us.] [Clare: You are on the way to destruction!!] [dreddnott: If my hunch is correct, this text file will cause our ship to self-destruct in 3 hours unless we can do the inevitable...MST it.] [Clare: You have no choice to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha...] [dreddnott: That can mean only one thing. We need a sturdy group of MSTers.] [dreddnott presses various buttons and confers with Rogue_62095] [dreddnott flips three switches and three beings fade in on the telepads] [Quatre: Eh?] [Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV: yaa-haa!] [Krillin: ...!] [dreddnott: You have come here from all over the world because we need your help.] [dreddnott: We need you to help us MST this fic, or our ship will be annihilated.] [Krillin: Hey! What's the idea?!] [Quatre: Why didn't you just ask us for your help?] [dreddnott: Because we need your help right now, and this way you have to help us.] [Quatre: Really, that's not just fair!] [Krillin: Dammit, why couldn't you take Goku, I've already died three times, I don't want to die again!] [dreddnott: Hey, at least it's not a lemon.] [Ed: What that!] [Krillin: -_-,] [dreddnott: Anyways, the first part of the fanfic must be finished in less than 3 hours. Rogue_62095, do you have the theatre prepared?] [Rogue_62095 finishes installing the timer and auto-guns on the theater door - "Yep, send them in."] [The entire group walks into a dimly lit theatre and takes seats in the middle front.] [dreddnott: Ok, Rogue_62096, let it roll!] [Quatre: Wait, you mean there are two of him?] [dreddnott: Yeah, we keep the other one around as a spare.] [Rogue_62095 hands Ed and Krillin booster seats] [Krillin mutters something unintelligible] [dreddnott: Oops, I forgot to turn subtitles on.] [Rogue_62096 in the projection room inserts the disk into the projection CPU and presses a button.] [dreddnott: Here we go!] Disclaimor: I do not own any of these characters, I just thought of an interesting story I could use them in. All characters belong to Pioneer and AIC. There is no need to sue. This is for entertainment only. Yes I am a Washu + Tenchi believer, however, that is just my opinion just like yours is yours. I hope you can respect that. [Rogue_62095: You're a foo! Ryoko and Tenchi forever!] [dreddnott: All your fanfics are belong to Pioneer! (I wonder if the lawyers will get Clare for putting a 'disclaimor' instead of a 'disclaimer'...] [Ed: No need for lawsuit, zootsuit, naughty zoot!] Well, on with the story! [Krillin: I just know I'm going to regret this.] No Need for a Test by "Little Washu" or Clare Prologue Tenchi came home after harvesting carrots [Krillin: Oh God, not another carrot patch story!] [Quatre: Whatever do you mean?] [dreddnott: One word...hentai.] [Ed: What that!] [Krillin: ....nevermind.] to find Ryoko and Ayeka standing by the door to greet him. Ryoko had an evil grin on her face and Ayeka had her petite nose up in the air. "Hello dear Tenchi," Ayeka spoke in a soft sweet voice. "Hey Tenchiii!" Ryoko glomped onto Tenchi. [dreddnott: Glomping? Is that moral?] [Rogue_62095: eeeewwwww] "Ryoko! You devil-woman! Get off my Tenchi NOW!" Ayeka roared. Ryoko ignored Ayeka and with her arms wrapped around Tenchi's neck she purred, "Tenchi, Hon, do you like me or that little brat?" Tenchi tried to move his face so Ryoko wouldn't breathe on him and replied," I do not know." Ryoko angrily got down, kicking Tenchi in the shin along the way. "Ow!" Tenchi yelped. While Ryoko teleported away, Ayeka ran over to Tenchi, "Oh my, Tenchi darling! Are you ok?" Tenchi just nodded and limped away. [Quatre: My, Ayeka seems like such a nice, sweet, gentle girl.] [Ed: Nice lady, sexy sadie, uncle grady!] [Krillin: Gentle? That's the SM queen we're talking about!] [Ed: SM? What that!] [Krillin: Whips and stuff...] [Quatre shifts uneasily] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* [dreddnott: That's some sweet stationery!] [Quatre: Indeed!] [Krillin: weirdo] [Everyone notices Rogue_62095 suddenly slump over.] [dreddnott: Don't worry, folks, his modem just disconnected, he'll be back soon.] "Tenchi! Tenchi!" Yosho hollered. "Where is that boy?" Tenchi ran over to his grandpa who stood impatiently against a tree. "You're late boy," Yosho complained. [dreddnott: Yosho complains? That's just a bit too much monologue for my taste.] "Sorry, it's nearly impossible to get out of the house with the 6 girls staying here." [Krillin: I bet, hehehe] [dreddnott: When Washu's lab's a-rockin, don't come a-knockin'!] Yosho took out a sword and handed it to Tenchi, then pulled out one for himself. "Alright, give it your best shot," Yosho commanded. [dreddnott: (Tenchi whips out his Desert Eagle .50 and unloads a clip into his grandfather)] "Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!" Tenchi, with the sword in his hands, dashed towards his grandpa. Tenchi didn't get much closer than 3 feet away from Yosho. First crown prince of Jurai's skills are still in good tact; not a bit rusty. [Rogue_62095: looky at all the bad grammar!] [Quatre: aww, it was close...] "Try harder boy!" Yosho snapped. [dreddnott: instantly breaking his neck] [Quatre: Please, that's been done so much!] [Ed: Snap neck, map neck, lip smack!] "Errrr...oof!" Tenchi collapsed on the ground from the force of Yosho's sword. "Keep practicing. We'll try again tomorrow," and with that, Yosho walked away. Tenchi took a moment to catch his breath. Everything in his life was getting so complicated. As if training and school wasn't bad enough already, He had 6 beautiful women wanting his attention. They wanted him to love them. Them as the center of his universe. [Krillin: I say one for each day of the week, and all of them on Sunday.] [dreddnott: Beautiful? Ryoko ain't all that hot! And Washu is, like, 12!] [Quatre: Yeah, and what about Sasami? She's supposed to be 8!] [dreddnott: uhh...yeah - sasami too...I think.] [Rogue_62095 slaps dreddnott upside the head - "I heard that! And I agree with Krillin.] He thought a moment about what happened when he got home from the carrot fields that morning. Ayeka and Ryoko didn't act differently, but somehow he felt he had to make a decision. [dreddnott: Ayeka and Ryoko are stuck in a reflexive-feedback time-phase loop. Also known as Groundhog Day for 2 entire OAVs.] One that could hurt the other 5 girls, one that could maybe be the wrong one and be too late to change it, one he dreaded of even thinking about. But he knew it was time to grow up and act like a man. He wanted a girl who would respect his decisions, but how could he find who that one is? [dreddnott: Looks like Tenchi's finally hit puberty. And in this case, I'd recommend a 6-sided die.] [Krillin: So, if he rolls a six he gets all the girls?] [Rogue_62095: No, he gets the cabbit!] [Quatre: I thought you said this wasn't a lemon!! *cries*] [dreddnott: It's not, it's not, there there.] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~* Tenchi and Amagasaki walked together towards the buses. "Hey, did you see the new girl? I think she digs me!" Amagasaki sounded like a child who was going to the candy store. [dreddnott: For some reason, this guy reminds me of Jeff.] [Ed: Who that!] [dreddnott: Let's just say that when Jeff says "new girl"...that's not quite what he means.] [Rogue_62095 face vaults] "M-hmm," Tenchi just continued thinking about a plan to find his girl. "Tenchi? You alright?" Amagasaki stood in front of Tenchi stopping him. "Get a hold of yourself." Tenchi shook his thoughts out of his head so he could think straight about what was currently going on. "Sorry Amagasaki, I just have a lot on my mind." "Who's the lucky girl?" Amagasaki grinned "WHO SAID IT WAS A GIRL!?" Tenchi screamed. [Quatre: Yeah! Why couldn't it be a guy?] [dreddnott: No, more like a mummy.] "Uh, sorry man," Amagasaki apologized. The boys climbed onto the bus and took their seat. Tenchi was almost ready to start yanking his hair out. [Krillin: Ok...they share a seat? You *sure* this isn't a lemon?] [dreddnott: And what's with Tenchi? Does he have lice?] I'm going crazy! He thought. Maybe I shouldn't decide. Things are just fine the way they are. He knew that was a lie. [dreddnott: If my thought-sentences were that fragmented, I'd be crazy too.] [Ed: Crazy, lazy! I lo-- Krillin: Shut UP!] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~* Sasami opened the door to Tenchi's bedroom. Tenchi was sitting at his desk, his nose in the books. [Quatre: Hey, it's a lot easier to study with your face a little further away.] [dreddnott: No, Quatre, this is an anatomy text.] [Quatre turns green] "Hiya Tenchi!" Sasami chirped. "Dinner's almost ready!" [Rogue_62095: ...when did she become a bird?] [dreddnott: (Yosho) How'd you know dinner was ready?] [Quatre: (Tenchi) A little bird told me.] Tenchi glanced at his watch. Was it that late already? He had been so busy doing his homework and thinking about his problem, he lost track of time. "I'll be right down, Sasami, thanks." Tenchi said. [dreddnott: Actually, Tenchi, thanks to fanfic time paradoxes, Sasami will always be fixing breakfast, lunch, or dinner the first time we see her.] Tenchi moaned as he closed the books. He wasn't ready to be around the girls. Not yet. Not without a plan, but he went downstairs anyways and sat at the end of the table. "Hi Tenchi," Mihoshi waved at him. "Uh.hi." Mihoshi was certainly a silly girl, clumsy, in that matter. Although attractive, Tenchi never really thought she would be marriage material. Not yet at least. Maybe when she stops watching cartoons with Sasami or reading teen magazines, but right now, he thought of her as a friend and only a friend. [dreddnott: But...but she's good with children!] [Krillin: dredd...she has the *mind* of a child.] Sasami carried over plates full of food to each setting just as Washu came out of her lab. "Looks good Sasami! I'm starving!" Washu sat at the opposite end of Tenchi and began to eat in tiny nibbles. [dreddnott: Poor Tenchi. Eaten alive by the The Number One Genius Scientist in the Universe.] [Quatre: Hmmm, Tenchi on a plate of--] [Everybody else: Don't SAY IT!!] Tenchi was certainly amused by Washu. It isn't everyday you meet a 20,000 year old in a 12-year old body, or a 20,000 year old at all. But, Washu had reasons to hide from her true age. Being an adult seemed to be something negative. Most people look forward to becoming an adult. Move out from your parent's house, get a real job, raise a family, no rules, but Washu's adulthood was extremely rough. Her husband was taken away. Tenchi could see that she was lonely, and still was, [......] [Everyone: Still was WHAT?!] "Good evening Washu," Tenchi forced himself to say. [dreddnott: Use the Force, Tenchi! You'll find it useful for everyday conversation.] "Oh. Hi Tenchi," Washu cutely smiled. Ryoko came into the room next and winked at Tenchi while taking her seat. "Hey, Sasami, where's my sake?!" Ryoko asked. "It's coming," Sasami said in an annoyed voice. [dreddnott: Dear, sweet Sasami? Annoyed? Maybe she's drinking that stuff too!] "You know you shouldn't drink sake all the time Ryoko, it's not healthy," Ayeka informed Ryoko. "Yeah, whatever. You should lighten up a bit and try it sometime," Ryoko insisted. "No way!" [Rogue_62095: Umm...in almost every other episode they're getting stoned on the stuff.] [dreddnott: Remember that OAV episode where Kagato arrives, and Ayeka is so drunk her skin turns red?] [Ed: soused, louse! wearing a house!] Tenchi sighed. Soon this will be over. Or would it be worse? His plan has to be effective, but not too harmful. [dreddnott: All I ask is that he hides the bodies.] [Rogue_62095: Yeah, don't want to stink up the shrine.] [Quatre: No! Don't tell me this is a darkfic!!] "Tenchi?" Ayeka stared at Tenchi with concern. "Oh..oh man." Tenchi banged his head on the table. "Ugh, lost in thought again!" [Rogue_62095: Poor table!] [Krillin: If Goku did that, he'd break the planet in two.] [dreddnott: riight...and what if he farts?] [Krillin: That's when we had to use the dragon balls to wish back the moon.] Ayeka looked at Tenchi and smiled, "Can I please talk to you for a moment?" Ayeka and Tenchi walked through the forest for a little while before Ayeka stopped. [dreddnott: Tenchi kept going, however, and fell off the cliff. The end.] [Krillin: YAY! Can we go?] [Rogue_62095: no.] [Krillin: awwww] [Rogue_62095 slouches over again] [Krillin: modem?] [dreddnott: yep...] "Tenchi, I love you with all my heart. I used to think that if I could not be the bride of Yosho, that I could never love anyone else. I proved to be wrong. I just ask one thing, do you love me?" Ayeka's eyes shined in hope. Tenchi studied her for a few moments then got a plan, "Ayeka. I don't know how to say this, but right now my heart belongs to Ryoko." Ayeka's cheerful face dramatically changed to horror, "You WHAT?! How dare you like that monster!" [dreddnott: (Ayeka) She's all mine! I have a monster woman fetish you know!] [Ed: Bakemono, bakamono, monotarinai!] [Quatre: Maybe she's not so nice...] Ayeka ran back towards the house and Tenchi followed closely behind. Ayeka went inside the house and came back out dragging Sasami with her. "What are you doing?" Tenchi asked in shock. "We are going back to Jurai. I do not want to see your face again! You-you filthy earthling!" Ayeka cried. Tenchi would stop her from leaving, but couldn't. If Ayeka could not respect his choice, then everyday would be a living hell. [dreddnott: I AM IN A LIVING HELL, MAKES ME WONDER IF I'M ALIVE!!!] [Rogue_62096 switches the Godsmack CD out for some Disturbed] He knew Ayeka was not the one he was meant to be with, so he let her and Sasami head back to their home planet. "No! I don't want to go!" Sasami yelled, but her sister continued to drag her. Tenchi looked at Sasami with sympathy. He never thought that Ayeka would leave. And besides that, take Sasami with her. [dreddnott: See, this is what the author does to remove poor Sasami from the story.] [Krillin rolls his eyes..."Yeah, we know that Tenchi would really fall in love with an 8-year-old."] [Ed: pedophile, homophile, pedophobia!] [Quatre sighs] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~* Tenchi slowly walked back inside. Ryoko walked up to Tenchi and embraced him. "Hey Tenchi! Did that princess bother you? I can take care of her for you," Ryoko offered. [dreddnott: I'm pretty sure Ayeka and Ryoko 'take care' of each other pretty good...] [Quatre turns pale] [Rogue_62095 whacks dreddnott with a tape of dubbed sailor moon - "Stop saying that!"] "No! Look Ryoko," Tenchi gulped as he continued his plan. "I just told Ayeka that I loved her. I, well, I was just worried how you would feel." Ryoko burst into tears, "How can someone love Ayeka? She's spoiled. She has nothing to offer you! I on the other hand, would satisfy you! Just change your mind!" [Rogue_62095: (Tenchi) sure! okay.] [dreddnott: Hey! This is not a lemon! Don't make me slap you around with bunny princess!] [Rogue_62095: Oh Lord! Not that! Ahhhhhhhh!] [Krillin: ...Who?] [dreddnott: Chibi-Usa!] [Krillin: Ewww, you nasty.] [Quatre: *shudder* You keep your servants well in order, dreddnott-san.] Tenchi shook his head, "Ryoko, no. She's heading to Jurai to get prepared for our..our wedding." By then Ryoko was angry. "Wedding?! Since when did you propose?!" "Uh..just before I came in?" Tenchi said uneasily. Ryoko glared a Tenchi, "Then don't you dare come crawling back when the marriage doesn't work out! The only shoulder you'll have to cry on is your own, and wherever I am, I'll be laughing." With that, Ryoko disappeared. [dreddnott: (Ryoko) argh! You guessed my name! I'm Ryoko-stiltskin!] Well, that went well, Tenchi thought. At least I know I'm not destined to be with either of them. [Rogue_62095: awwww, she should have chopped him up into little pieces and drank his blo...] [dreddnott glares "omae o korosu" style at Rogue_62095] [Quatre: Wow! You do that like the master himself!] Tenchi decided to talk to Mihoshi and Kiyone at the same time. [dreddnott: This would later prove to be an excessive strain on his mental capabilities.] The two were watching a soap opera in the living room. "Ahem," Tenchi cleared his throat, catching both girls' attention. "Hey Tenchi," Kiyone smiled. "Hi. I just proposed to Ryoko," Tenchi announced. [Krillin: smoooth...] [Rogue_62095: Like your head?] *ZAP!* [dreddnott: Wow! That zap was so powerful, it escaped the brackets! Rogue_62096, we have a clean-up in aisle 5...] [Rogue_62095, charred but intact, slumps over] [Quatre: I think you fried his modem. You should have Ed look at it...] [Ed: Nai nai BAAAAAA!!] "What?!" Kiyone and Mihoshi exclaimed. "You'd think you'd be smart enough not to marry a criminal!" Kiyone snapped. "Yeah, I guess I would," Tenchi replied sarcastically. Mihoshi began to cry. "Don't cry Mihoshi," Tenchi cooed. [dreddnott: ...when did he become a bird?] [Krillin: This is a fowl fan fiction!] "She has every right to! Our friend has turned to the dark side" Mihoshi was sniffling but managed to say, "Don't take it too personally when we have to arrest you two." [dreddnott: That does have kinky possibilities...] [Quatre: Ummm...wouldn't it be Ayeka with the handcuffs?] [dreddnott face-vaults] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* [Rogue_62096 now playing Godsmack - Why] Tenchi was getting worried now. So far none of the girls respected his choice. The only person left was: Washu. If she doesn't respect his decision, he would not only be without a girlfriend, but without a friend as well. He had driven the other 5 away. This was his only hope. [dreddnott: What about Sasami-chaaaaaan?! *cries*] [Krillin: You pathetic.] [Rogue_62095: You bad.] [Quatre: You sick.] [Ed: You sad!] Tenchi knocked lightly on Washu's lab door. "Who is it?" Washu asked. "It's me Washu," Tenchi said loudly enough so Washu could hear through her metal door. [dreddnott: Tenchi is suffering a severe identity crisis too?] [Ed: Weak!] [Rogue_62095: No, bad dubbing...] "Come on in Tenchi!" Washu said with a happy tone. Tenchi walked in and saw the redhead typing on her holographic computer. "I just wanted to inform you that I just announced that I love Ayeka." Washu stopped typing and her head hung down. Was she angry? Disappointed? Happy? She turned around and looked Tenchi in the eyes. Sure enough, there was hurt. Washu forced a smile, "Well, congrats. I wish you two are happy.together." [Quatre: Why is she talking like William Shatner?] [dreddnott: I'll.never.forgivethem.for the death.of my son.] [Rogue_62095: Luke I am your father.] [dreddnott: Shut up, foo!] The only noise after that was a sigh from Washu, then was the awkward silence, but Tenchi was happy.. She had respected his decision! She was willing to accept it. Plus, he knew she loved him because he did see the disappointment in her eyes. [Krillin: Yeah, that's the way to do it, Tenchi. Drive a stake through her heart first.] [Ed: Heart stake, fart break! Wa- Quatre: Shut UP!!!] Tenchi ran up and Washu and hugged her. He finally got up and noticed Washu looking at him confused. Now I tell her that I love her! But Tenchi stopped. He thought his plan was perfect, only what would Washu think when she hears he lied? That this was all a test? The others would be furious! He couldn't not tell her, or she would think he was trying to cheat on Ayeka, and he was certain Washu wouldn't be a part of that. "Washu?" Tenchi began. "I, don't know how to say this, but, I didn't tell Ayeka I loved her." "What?" Washu was puzzled, which was unusual for her, the greatest scientific genius of the universe. [dreddnott: In fact, so unusual, it was borderline OOC!] [Quatre: What's OOC?] [dreddnott: Krillin with hair.] *ZAP!* [dreddnott: gurk...cleanup on aisle 5...] "What I'm trying to say is, that I made a test. A test to see who I could love. That test was to see who would respect me and my decisions." Washu nodded. "Well, things didn't go to hot with Ayeka. Ryoko was really pissed, Mihoshi and Kiyone didn't accept my decision either, Only you did. You cared enough that you wished that I would be happy, even if it meant your heart breaks. Ayeka just insulted me, Ryoko thought the marriage would be unhappy and that she'll laugh when it ends, and Mihoshi and Kiyone threatened to arrest me. Although I have liked the others, I was very intrigued by you. I believe you need someone more than any of the others. Sasami and Ayeka have each other, [Everyone: EEEWWW!!] plus a planet to rule. Ryoko, well, she has space pirate buddies, and Mihoshi and Kiyone are partners and have their careers, but you don't have anyone. I'm glad that you are the one that respected me." [dreddnott: (Tenchi) Yes, because..heh...I like...little girls!] [Krillin: dreddnott is *in* character, I presume...] [dreddnott: Er...no! *looks at his watch* Only a few minutes left, this is the end run...] Washu stared at Tenchi for a moment, making Tenchi afraid Washu would get really mad and use him as a test subject for a dangerous experiment, but she smiled at him. [dreddnott: Yeah, she probably smiles during torture threshold experiments, too.] [Krillin: I thought she only did those with Ayeka...] [Ed dances the masochism tango] "Tenchi, I always respected you and trusted you. I'm guessing you'd do the same?" "Of course!" Tenchi exclaimed. "Good! Now can we get that last sample I wanted?" Washu asked with an innocent tone. [dreddnott: Kinky is Washu!] [Quatre: ...what kind of sample is this?] "Uh.." [Krillin: What he said.] The next second later Washu was in her adult form wearing her nurse outfit with a glove on her hands. Tenchi was trapped by one of Washu's other inventions. Washu smiled, "Okay, honey, let's see what you've got!" [dreddnott: There you have it, folks, a decent Washu-gets-Tenchi story...] [dreddnott: And it actually took us 4 hours and 30 minutes to complete.] [Rogue_62095: Wow +) This was fun!] [Quatre: Mommy, can I go home yet?] [Ed: Washu, joshu...a, a-choo!] [dreddnott: Remember, there is a second part!] [Krillin: It better be a little lemon, or I'm not going for it!] [dreddnott: All right, all right, I'd better send you guys back...] [Rogue_62096: Thanks for your time!] [Ed: Take off every 'Ed'!] [Rogue_62095: You know what you doing.] [The three gallant anime characters step on the telepads and return to their own continuities] Stay tuned for section 2, coming to a Tenchi Muyo! fanfic archive near you!