Once more, Weber-san sits at the controls of the powerful ship, the USS Brian Drummond. But he no longer desires to simply mock the silly or ridiculous. He intends to punish a fanfic genre that never should have been born. With a mad gleam in his eye, he summons his MSTers, none of whom are owned by him, all of whom are used without permission of Sunrise, ADV, Funimation, and Pioneer. Please don't sue. This is done for the good of one anime character who's been put through too much. One day it might be YOUR character I'm defending. Roll Call: >From the year After Colony 195: Zechs Merquise. >From the lost planet Vegeta: Prince Vegeta >From a world inside a Playstation: Ryga of the Wind >From the cold cavern of Masaki Shrine: Ryoko, The Devil Caller. Zechs: Hey, wait, what happened to Alan? Weber-san: I needed a female perspective on this, and he lost the toss. Besides, Ryoko made a promise in a fic I wrote, and I'm holding her to it. Ryoko: I'm here against my will. Please send help. Vegeta: Enough of this. What are we doing in this place again? Weber-san: Well, I assembled an MST group for one purpose and one purpose only. To defend an anime character from the filth and disease of certain Hentai minds. I mean Hentai that makes Nobiyuki Masaki look like a choir boy. I mean Hentai that makes Happosai look like a .... Vegeta (Goes SuperSaiya-jin): WE GET THE POINT! Weber-san: Anyway, she reminds me of my kid sister, and none of you would want anything like that happening to your sister, I'm sure. Zechs: The scum. I'll kill them all. Only then will there be peace. Vegeta: I like your spirit, Zechs. Ryga: Wait, you don't mean....? Ryoko: (sweatdrop): He does. Weber-san: Remember, you don't leave until the job is done. So, flambe this piece if you ever want to get out of here. Ryga: A Sasami Lemon! Vegeta (turns green) : A wha...? A Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction. A Passion Satisfying, Ground Shaking, Glass Breaking. . . By Peter Suzuki. Vegeta: Got the name? Zechs: (tuning up Epyon) : Got it. The series "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer LDC, AIC, and its contributors. All rights reserved. WARNING: Mild LEMON! Nothing TOO graphic Ryga(horns sparking): There'd better NOT be! , but younger (or immature) readers should not be reading this. In fact, I don't know why I'm even explaining to you, ANYTHING after the word "Lemon" because if you didn't want to read something 'sexually explicit' then you would have hit the "Go-back" button by now, right? Ryoko: If the MST master would let us, we would. Weber-san(on speakers): Didn't you pledge to always be there for Sasami-hime? Ryoko: Only because you wrote it that way, baka! Weber-san: Be nice to me, and I'll let YOU get Tenchi in the Tenchi Muyo: No Need For Multiple Continuities Chapter 2 that I'm writiing. Ryoko: ^_^, Let's do it! Anyway, on with the show. ########################################################### ############ EARTH: 4:00a.m. Yosho was up early this morning. He did not even really know why, other then out of habit. And now he could not even get to see the sun rise because of the overcast. It looked like yet another gloomy, autumn morning. He let out a bored sigh, and continued to drink the tea that he made. No sense in letting it go to waste. Then he heard it, or rather FELT it. A slight tremor shook the shrine. Zechs(as Obi Wan): There is a great disturbance in the force. Even the birds stopped chirping. Ryga: The birds were chirping at 4 in the morning? What, London time? An earthquake? No, it could not be so. In all the seven hundred years of its existence, the Masaki shrine was never effected by earthquakes. Zechs: First time for everything. Besides, this felt as if it was caused by something close by. Ryoko: Geeze, how did I miss the fault line outside my back door all these centuries? Something that shook the very earth that the shrine sat upon. As Yosho got up to investigate, the shaking started again, and did not stop. Vegeta: Do the hippy hippy shake! Others: 0_0 This could not possibly be an earthquake. It was more of a slight vibrating, rather than a quake. Yosho slowly made his way to where the shaking felt strongest. For the first time in a long, LONG time, Yosho was genuinely shocked. Ryga: If he has anything to do with the lemon scene, I'LL see that he's shocked. The trees were causing the shaking, or more specifically; the Funaho tree, the Ryu-oh tree, and the trees born from the Funaho tree's seeds were causing the shaking. Yosho did not move, even as a sapling that had been placed in a pot, gently vibrated across the ground like one of those tabletop football games. "Washu." Yosho mumbled. "If she's not the cause of this, then she must at least have some kind of explanation for this." Ryoko: Oh, sure. Blame my mother. It has nothing at all to do with the writer of this fic. Vegeta: Y'know, for a lemon, this doesn't seem bad. Ryga: That's because we haven't gotten anywhere yet. Zechs: I like it here. Let's stay here. Yosho then ran as fast as he could, toward the Masaki house. Zechs: D'oh! His expression was somewhat reminiscent of how a little child would look, after hearing a big dog bark at him. All: 0_0 Yosho came to a screeching halt at the door of the Masaki home. He briefly turned his head toward the front gate, as he heard a slight humming coming from that direction. He had a very bad feeling of what he would see. Ryoko: As do we all. As do we all. Azaka and Kamidake hovered in mid air, spinning like tops, and shaking like maracas. The mail man walked by, muttered something about 'it getting weirder every day', and managed to stuff some envelopes into Azaka on one of the revolutions, before continuing on his way. A large sweat- drop formed on Yosho's head. Yosho then heard one of the girls scream from the bedroom window. Without another thought, Yosho rushed into the house. Vegeta: (Goes SuperSaiya-jin again): If that's Sasami with Tenchi, the writer won't get to his next sentence. If Yosho would have stayed a minute longer he would have heard Kamidake moan, "S-S-S-o-o-o-G-G-G-o-o-o-o-o-o-d-d-d-!" All: (Collective facefault) In every sense, Washu was not having a good day. First, last night's experiment ended in disaster with only herself to blame, then she was woken up by Ayeka, Ryoko: So, Mom and Ayeka? And I thought Sasami lemons were sick! Yuck! at this unruly hour, about something happening to Sasami, and when she got to the bedroom she saw THIS. Sasami lay on the floor, flopping like a fish on dry land, moaning like a banshee. . . and seeming to be enjoying every minute of it. "Ahh! AAAH! Oooh! Mmmm-YES!!" Zechs: This has gotten very bad, very fast. Ryga: Normally, when I see something flopping around like that, it's my lunch. Vegeta: DON'T SAY LUNCH! Sheesh, you want to bring up more perverted character names, huh? Ryoko: Personally, I don't see how she COULD be enjoying it. If she's flopping like a fish, it's a sure bet her neck is broken by now. Zechs: You'd know more about that than we would. "And when did you find out about this?" Washu asked Ayeka. Ryoko: (as Ayeka) : Well, she was acting strange ever since you crossed her with a trout. "Well, I got up to get a glass of water. Sasami then told me that she felt slightly cold. When I got back with a blanket, I found her like this." Responded Ayeka. Zechs: One would think she'd feel more...feverish...for those sorts of convulsions. "Did you check her for symptoms of sickness?" Washu asked, as she materialized her computer. Ryga: Anyone says anything about a thermometer, and they're toast. Vegeta: I'm with you, dog face. Ayeka looked a little bit distraught about it. "Well. . . I DID try to check her for a fever, b-but when I placed my hand on her forehead she. . . she. . ." Ayeka seemed reluctant, and slightly scared to mention what happened next. Ryoko: Even I feel sick at that one. Oooooh. Easy stomach. Just then Ryoko phased in through the wall, and Ryo-oh-ki toddled in from the hallway. Ryoko said, "Hey, why are the windows shaking like. . ." Ryoko then noticed Sasami jerking around on the floor. Ryoko: Why don't I remember this? Vegeta: You mean you WANT to? Ryoko: .... Vegeta: Then shut up! Ryoko(draws sword): Anytime, runt. Vegeta(Summons ki ball): Try me, wench! Zechs: Knock it off, both of you. Our enemy is this author, not each other. "What the? Washu! Did you do something to Sasami!?!" Ryoko said in her most menacing tone. Vegeta(looking at his new flattop haircut, curtesy of Ryoko): Hmmm, that'd be fairly menacing. Ryoko: You got off easy, little boy. Vegeta: WHAT? Ryga: LIGHTNING! Vegeta and Ryoko, charred, sit down. Zechs: That's better. "No! Now get out of the way, I'm trying to find out what's wrong." Washu snapped. Tenchi, from his bedroom, Nobuyuki, from the library, and Mihoshi, from wherever she passed out last, entered into the bedroom. They each saw Sasami, and said, "Washu!! Did you do something to Sasami!?!?!" All: -_- "WHY IN HELL DO YOU ALL THINK THAT I'M THE ONE WHO'S CAUSING SASAMI TO BE LIKE THIS!?!?!?!" screamed Washu. "I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG, DAMNIT!!!" Vegeta: Now I see where you get it. Ryoko: Good thing your kid got his personality from his mother. Vegeta: I'll kill you. Ryga: Save it for the author, the author! Ryo-oh-ki approached Sasami, and gently nuzzled the arm of her best friend. Suddenly, Ryo-oh-ki found herself in the bone crushing embrace of the blue hared princess. Sasami rubbed the cabbit all over the front of her body. Ryoko: Aw, crap. Now I have to give the critter a bath. Ryga: So what? Ryoko: You know what wet dog smells like? Well, wet cabbit is worse. And she doesn't like water, either. "S-so warm, fuzzy! AH! Feels so good! Ooooh!" Sasami seemed to really enjoy the feeling of the small furry body on her own. Vegeta: This is more than anyone here deserves. BIG BANG ATTACK! The screen is undamaged. Weber-san(on speakers): I took the liberty of shielding the screen. It cost too much for you to go around frying it all the time. Ryoko went over to free her cabbit from Sasami's remarkably strong grip. When the former pirate pulled Sasami's arms away, Ryo-oh-ki rolled off of the princess, and passed out a few feet away. Ryga(as Ryo-Ohki) : I feel so...violated. Suddenly, Sasami quickly embraced Ryoko, kissed the shocked young woman fully on the lips, Vegeta: Well, now we know it's not the real Ryoko. Ryoko: >_< And why is that? Vegeta: Because they described her as a "young woman". Ryoko mallets Vegeta. and began to hump her body. Ryoko let out a muffled scream of surprise as she was embraced in a hug that was strong enough to push all of the air out of her lungs. Ryoko: There is no way Sasami is stronger than me. Not a chance. Uh-uh. Vegeta (rubbing head) : I'll give her that one. Sasami continued to moan softly into her kiss, and every so often let out a cry of pleasure on the upbeat of her humping. Ryoko: By now, I think I'd have broken the grip and slapped her to wake her up. Vegeta: You and me both, sister. Ryga: I've seen humans that were sick, and I've seen humans that were poisoned. But I ain't never seen nothing like this. Zechs: I..urp...think I'm gonna be sick. Ryoko: Oh, and the rest of us aren't? "Ayeka, would this be similar to what happened to you, when you tried to check Sasami's temperature?" asked Washu. Ryoko: Not even Ayeka deserves that! Ayeka, ghostly pale as she watched the scene unfold, simply nodded "Uh-huh." Yosho then marched in from the hallway. Vegeta: Sure took him long enough. Zechs: I'll say. This isn't the Yosho who made Kagato look stupid, that's for sure. "Miss Washu, the trees from Jurai are shaking, I think Azaka and Kamidake are trying to do 'The Macarena' again, All: 0_0 and. . ." Yosho noticed Ryoko & Sasami, and regained some of his usual composure. "Miss Ryoko, could you two at least wait until Sasami is older?" Ryoko: Hell, wait nothing. Get her...I mean me...out of there. I do NOT, I reiterate, restate, and repeat, NOT swing that way! "mrrrph! Himmph! Grrmn-himph!" Ryoko's muffled screaming held more panic, than actual anger. Ryoko: Screw that. At this point, I'd be pissed! "Trust me Yosho, it wasn't Ryoko's idea." Said Washu as she turned back toward her computer. Ryoko: Dear, sweet, kind mother, you're so kind to me. Now get the kid out of the lip lock! "Oxygen intake, increased by fifty percent. Blood pressure, increased by twenty percent. Hormone balance. . .up one hundred and twenty percent!?! How can that possibly be?" Ryga : Well, puberty did some strange things to me. Zechs: Yeah, but the girl has the physiology of an 8 year old. What puberty? Ryga: That's 'cause they freeze themselves. Vegeta: No way. Look, Juraian freezing is like Saiya-jin pods. We freeze ourselves because space is big, empty, and usually very boring. Why bear the tedium if you don't have to? Zechs: Are you sure? Vegeta: They clearly established that the trees keep them young, and her family was still in power 700 years after Yosho vanished. So, what, the royals froze themselves that long, woke up, and were still in power. I don't think so! Ryoko: I'm with brillo head on this one. Juraians age far more slowly. That's why Sasami could figure the physics of a spaceship crash in the 2nd OAV, but still has the body of the Olsen twins. "Miss Washu!" Mihoshi interrupted. "I think Ryoko's having trouble breathing!" Ryoko: It's sad when Mihoshi is the one to notice these things. Zechs nods: I would have expected Tenchi to have spotted it, or Ayeka. I mean, she wouldn't want the lips of her sister profaned by the touch of a notorious space pirate. Ryoko: I don't know if I should kill you or not for that one. Ryga: Worry about it later. Is the cabbit dead? Can I eat it now? "What are you talking about?" said Washu. "Ryoko was made to withstand environments with zero oxygen. . ." Washu noticed that Ryoko was indeed turning blue. "Oh. . . Help me separate them." Ryoko: About time, dammit. Tenchi, Mihoshi, and Washu managed to pull Sasami's arms from around Ryoko. The cyan-hared Vegeta: A cyan-hare? Where? Is it some sort of Pokemon? Ryga: Oh, don't get me started on that fic again. Zechs: I wish this were that fic again. one then jumped back away from Sasami, and started gasping for air. "I *PANT* really *GASP* wish *WHEEZE* she *GASP* didn't *PANT* slip *HUFF* me *GASP* the *WHEEZE* tongue!" Ryoko managed to say, as she got air back into her body. All: EEeeewww!!!!! Ryoko's three saviors stepped back before Sasami could get a hold of them too. The blue-hared girl let out a slight disappointed moan at the loss of sensation, but quickly resumed her previous actions. Vegeta: This is bad. I mean, Sasami is frenching every girl she meets, rubbing herself with cabbits, and still, not even an attempt at an explanation. Ryoko: That's because the author probably knew that it would be worse for providing one. Ryga: You mean it can GET worse than this? Mihoshi then realized something. "You know, Kiyone used to do something similar to this all of the time. Only she usually had her hands between her legs when she was doing it. But if you come within arms reach of her during that time, she'll grab you and-" Mihoshi did not notice the shocked stares coming from everybody else. . . Except of course for Sasami, who was gyrating her hips, and Ryo-oh- ki, who was still passed out on the floor. Ryoko: And who's this Kiyone person? Vegeta: One day, Weber-san is going to have to give us someone who knows what's going on. Or I'll kill him and send him to HFIL. Zechs: It doesn't help that there are four distinct Ryoko's out there, and we got the only one who never met Kiyone. Ryga: I dunno. That doesn't sound like Kiyone. So unprofessional to do that on the job. Zechs: Like anyone in this fic is behaving properly? Ryga: Point made. Washu decided to check the hunch that what was happening WAS similar to what Mihoshi was referring to. Needless to say, it solved one mystery only to lead to another. Ryoko: Howsabout letting us in on it? "This can't be right." Muttered Washu. "There's no outside stimulus, no internal stimulus. This shouldn't be happening on its own, especially at this level of magnitude." Zechs: Oh no. They aren't... Vegeta: (beginning to glow): They wouldn't... Ryga: (horns sparking) : They better not.... "What's wrong, Miss Washu?" asked Tenchi. "Don't call me 'Miss', and according to my readings, Sasami is about to experience pubicloital, fricative sensation, sensory overload." All: Huh? "Huh?" remarked six voices, eerily in unison. Ryoko: Ten if you count us. "She's going to have an orgasm." Washu explained. Ryoko: They did. "Oh, that's all." Said the six, sounding relieved. Then they realized what Washu said. "SHE'S WHAT!?!?!" Even Ryo-oh-ki woke up at that realization. Ryoko: This is too much for me folks. (Vomits behind couch) Zechs: I think I'll join you. (does) Washu decided to continue. "And according to the psychological readings, she's reacting to all outside stimuli as if it was causing the sensation." Zechs: So, if it touches her... Vegeta: Oh god, she hasn't... Ryga: Who is this sick man writing this? Zechs: (checks notebook) Peter Suzuki. Ryga: Uh-huh. I'll have to "chat" with him later. Nobuyuki was the only one who understood that. "So whoever she's hugging, she imagines that THEY are having sex with her?" Ryoko: Figures the old man would get it. "That's correct." Said Washu. Nobuyuki quickly left the room, and then returned with the camera. "Uh, what are you planning to-" "Tenchi!" exclaimed Nobuyuki. "Go over there and hug Sasami." All: OH NO HE DOESN'T! "OVER YOUR DEAD BODY!!!" shouted four girls, and one boy. Vegeta: What, a lemon in which Tenchi has morals? Ryga: I don't know. This one has been weird the whole way. Zechs: At least we've been spared the Sasami nudity that usually accompanies this crap. Ryoko: Wait, where's Yosho in all of this? Vegeta: As out of character as he is here? Probably passed out on the floor. "Miya! Miya! Miya!" chirped Ryo-oh-ki. "No, you may NOT go over there and let Sasami hug you again." Snapped Ryoko. All: RYO-OHKI!!! Ryoko: That cabbit and I are having a LONG talk when this is over." Ryga: It's not dead? Damn. Ayeka then realized something. "Miss Washu, if Sasami reacts that way to any stimulus, then when she hugged. . ." both Ayeka and Ryoko reached for the wet spots on their clothing. The warm, sticky, wet spots right were Sasami had been rubbing that special spot between her legs, on them. Vegeta: I...can't...hold...it...(Vomits behind couch. stops, rereads last paragraph, sees it wasn't a dream, vomits twice as long as before). "Yes, Ayeka. When Sasami had you in her hug, she was imagining that you were copulating with her." Zechs: Now, I'm no genius like Washuu, but doesn't copulate mean to procreate? Weber-san(on speakers): According to Webster's, it means "to have sexual intercourse." Zechs: Then I guess the word works. All: Unfortunately. Both Ayeka and Ryoko turned white as pale as ghosts. Ayeka quickly made her way toward the bathroom, and threw up. Vegeta:(wiping chin): I..urp...know how she feels. Ryoko looked very depressed. Ryoko: NO SHIT! BAKA! "S-Sasami thought that she and I. . . Oh, I feel so violated!!!" cried Ryoko. Ryoko: Tell it like it is, sister! Ayeka walked back into the room and muttered, "If mother ever found out about this, she would laugh until she lost bladder control." Vegeta: As a parent, I find that highly unlikely. Ryoko: You've never met Misaki. Vegeta: Juraians are a bunch of inbred perverts anyway. I wish Frieza had found them. They'd have found out what power was real quick. Ryoko cried on Tenchi's shoulder. "Oh, Tenchi! I'm sorry. That's probably how it's like for you, too, isn't it? I'll never try to seduce you again, unless you want us to make love, I promise!" said Ryoko. Vegeta(as Tenchi) : Damn. "Miss Ryoko!" Ayeka snapped. "You know perfectly well that Lord-Tenchi has never made love to anybody, especially to a woman like YOU!!!" Vegeta (wicked gleam in his eye, standard Vegeta smile on face): Should I tell them about Haruna? Zechs: (shrugs) Your funeral. Ryoko glared at Ayeka. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, will ya! I mean WHEN he wants to make love." She lovingly gazed into Tenchi's eyes. "Right, Tenchi?" Vegeta(as Tenchi): Damn straight. "Ryoko, will you please not grab my rear-end like that." commented Tenchi. Ryga: Oh Tenchi, grow a pair, willya. Ryoko looked perfectly innocent as she said, "Okay, Tenchi. How do you want me to grab it?" Ayeka slapped Ryoko's hand off of Tenchi. "OW! Hey!" "Miss Ryoko! Lord-Tenchi did not mean what he said in THAT way, and you know it!" Ayeka then lovingly gazed into Tenchi's eyes. "That monster woman did not molest you too badly, did she Lord- Tenchi?" Ryga: No, you stopped her before he could enjoy it. Zechs: That's the sort of mentallity that leads to fics like these, you know. They'll do anything to justify what they do to that poor girl. I've seen numerous MSTs on one piece called "Kagato's Revenge". Brrrr. That author needs to get the treatment Kagato performed in the fic. Ryoko: I've heard of it. Tell me we won't review that one, Weber-san! Weber-san: Relax. That one's been MSTed to Hell as is. Besides, at least one group had a Vegeta do it, too. Vegeta: Please...don't remind me. "Don't worry Miss Ayeka. I'm fine." Tenchi then frowned slightly. "I'd feel even better if you would now get YOUR hand off of my rear-end." Ryoko: That's Ayeka all right. Ayeka managed to pull her hand away before Ryoko could slap it. Mihoshi scratched her head. "Miss Washu, shouldn't we move Sasami to your lab, or something? I mean there has to be something that you can do." Washu shook her head. "For the last time, it's LITTLE-Washu, not 'Miss' Washu, and it would not be a good to move her at this time." Vegeta: Why would it not "be a good to move her"? Zechs: I think the author meant to say "a good idea". Ryga: Too bad he can't. He certainly didn't have one with this fic! "Why?" questioned Ryoko. "It's not like she's going to explode." Ryoko: I did not say anything THAT stupid! Vegeta: Too late now! DUCK AND COVER! "In a way, she IS." Replied Washu. Zechs: ULP! Then they all realized something. "Ohh! Ahh! OOOOOHHhhh!! EEEahh!! AAAh!! OOOoooh!!! OOOOOAAA!!!" Vegeta : Poppin' fresh dough! Sasami's moaning was getting louder. Ryoko: This is gonna be bad. "What's going on!?!" Tenchi yelled over the noise. "She's reaching climax!" replied Washu. "Whatdowedo!?!? Whatdowedo!?!?! Whatdowedo!?!?!?!" Mihoshi panicked. "Pray I don't run out of video tape!!" said Nobuyuki. "Mr. Masaki, I would greatly appreciate it if you would NOT record the embarrassment of my little sister reaching the 'Clouds and Rain', thank you very much!!!" Ayeka shouted at Nobuyuki. Ryoko: That's tellin' him Ayeka! Ryoko arched an eyebrow in confusion. " 'Clouds and Rain'? What the heck is that?" Ryoko: I KNOW what that means! Vegeta: I'm sure you do. Ryoko: Listen runt, do you wanna die? Vegeta: You and what army? Everyone else stared, shocked at what Ryoko just said. "You. . . Really don't know, do you?" stated Ayeka. Ryoko: I do too! Vegeta: That doesn't matter now! This is about to get messy! Ryoko did not get a chance to respond. Washu realized that if Sasami's voice kept getting louder at its rate, well. . . "EVERYONE, GET DOWN!!!" Washu shouted. Everyone else started making 'Rap Music' noises. All: groan. "I MEAN, DUCK!!!" Washu shouted. This time everybody understood, and listened to Washu's orders. . . Well, almost everyone. Ryoko and Ayeka flapped their arms and called out, "Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!!" All: 0_0 Upon Washu's angry glare, the princess and the pirate stopped fooling around. Vegeta: Oh! I wanted to see them fool around some more. Ryoko mallets Vegeta: I SAID I don't swing that way, you lech. "AH!!! OH!!! OOOOOHH!! YES!!!! AAAAAAAH!!!" At that point, Sasami finally climaxed. Her INTENSE screams rocked the very earth itself. Zechs: And to think, all this time, I was just going to drop a spaceship on it... "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!!!!! AAH!!! AAH!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!" ########################################################### ############ JURAI: About the same time. It was a very bad day in the Jurian royal palace. Almost all of the soldiers, servants, and officials were in a panic. Almost all. Ryoko: I don't want the blame for this. Got it? "Hey, Karu." Said an old, retired Jurian night, who sat in an old rocking chair. Zechs: Geez, Vegeta, if your argument about Juraian age was correct, then he must be a few million years old! Vegeta: Yeah. So. Jurai has a wonderful retirement plan. "Yeah, Taro?" responded another retired Jurian night, in a similar rocking chair. "Ain't never been a panic like this one in a long time, has there?" said Taro. "Well I don't know, Taro. The royal trees shaking like they are don't seem so terrifying ta me." said Karu. "Oh, yeah? Well, name one time that there was this much panic in the troops." Said Taro. "Well. . . There was dat time when the Emperor found Misaki and Funaho, in bed together." Replied Karu. Ryga: Wait, in the episode "Here Comes the Jurai", didn't Misaki call Funaho "sister?" Zechs: Vegeta was right. Jurai is full of perverted people. Vegeta: Well, he never actually said they were DOING anything in bed together. I mean, if you wanted to get technical, Washuu, Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki were in bed together in the 7th episode, "The Night Before the Carnival." Zechs: VEGETA! You're giving the hentai more ammo! Vegeta: The point I was trying to make was that it COULD have been perfectly innocent. "Yeah, I guess ya got me there. Nutting was like that day!" said Taro. Both old men shared a very good laugh. Yes, the Jurian empire was in an uproar because all over the galaxy, all of the Jurian royal trees, weather guardian, ship, or just plain tree were seeming to shake enough to rattle the universe itself. The ships were bouncing around the docking bays, Jurian officials were getting motion sick in their space vessels, the guardians were actually succeeding in keeping intruders away from the palace. . . including everyone else for that matter. It was like all of the trees had gone bonkers, at once. Queen Misaki woke up to the feeling of the palace shaking. Still half asleep, she decided to do something about it. She kicked her sleeping husband, Emperor Azusa, out of bed, and told him to do something about the shaking. Vegeta: I see who wears the pants in THAT family. Grumbling and groggy, the emperor picked up one of the alarm clocks in the bedroom as he plodded out the door. He continued down the hallway, to the main hall, past the throne room, through the mob of panicking soldiers and servants, by two retired Jurian nights, "Good morning, Taro." Said Azusa, in monotone. "Good day, my lord. Lovely day for a stroll." replied Taro. "Good morning, Karu." Said Azusa, in monotone. "You are aware that you're still in your pajamas, right?" replied Karu. around the corner, through the arches, following the yellow brick road, up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill, around the McDonald's, Zechs: Gee, that franchise really IS everywhere, isn't it? over hill and over dale, past the Denny's, nothing but net. . . oops, wrong bit. . . through the double doorways, past that weird guy they found on Earth, "Good morning, Elvis." Said Azusa, in monotone. "Lemmie outta here, man!!!" Screamed the overweight, greasy-hared musician. All: GROAN Ryoko: Stolen Animaniacs joke! past a couple of jerks who were caught in the palace gardens lighting their farts, "Good morning, Beavis. Good morning, Butthead." Said Azusa in-ah you know how he says it!! "Huh-huh, he said 'butt'." Chuckled the brown-hared one. "Heh-heh, Fire! Fire!" said the blond-hared one. Ryga: So that's where losers go when their shows are canceled. through another pair of double doors, past the Clocman Diamond, and finally to the place that housed the garden for the royal trees of Jurai, and where a great amount of the shaking was coming from. Ryoko: Do we really want him to open that door? Zechs: Nope. Ryga: Uh-uh. Vegeta: No way, man. When Azusa opened the doors, he saw ALL of the trees shaking like crazy. In the distance, he could swear that he heard a woman's voice. The emperor shouted, "HEY!!! WHOEVER IS DOING THIS!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS!?!?! IT'S. . ." Azusa noted that the clock he took required a power outlet, not that it mattered since its cord was ripped out. "WELL, NEVER MIND EXACTLY WHAT TIME IT IS!!! IT'S STILL EARLY IN THE MORNING, AND ROYALTY NEEDS TO SLEEP YOU KNOW!!! SO STOP IT RIGHT NOW, YOU HEAR ME!!!" Vegeta: I can't tell. Is that Monty Python, or not? Zechs: Does it matter at this point? Ryga: Nope. Let's just finish this. Ryoko: Royal trees! They aren't going there! Vegeta: WILL YOU ALL STOP IT. We killed that routine already in this MST. The royal trees stopped their shaking momentarily, to make way for what was to come next. A massive wave of orgasmic pleasure ripped through the melee, causing the trees to shake even more violently then before. Azusa was knocked over as the force nearly shook the entire dome off its foundation. Then, although it had nothing to do with the emperor's threat (like that would stop him from taking credit for it), the shaking stopped. Azusa congratulated himself on a job well done, and left. Meanwhile, at the center of the garden for the royal trees, Tsunami sat in front of her tree. Her hair was a mess, her robes were undone, there was a puddle of something forming between her legs, clear goo covered her left hand and trailed down her arm, but she looked VERY content with herself. Vegeta: Oh GROSS! Zechs: I'm sorry. I didn't need that image. Ryga: Is this supposed to be arousing? Cause it's not. Ryoko: That's 'cause you've got taste, Ryga. Vegeta: Unlike the author! "That was FUN!!" cheerfully thought Tsunami. "I can't believe I never thought about doing this before." She then licked her cum off of her hand, and reentered her tree. Vegeta: All together now... All: SICK! ########################################################### ############ BACK ON EARTH. Fragments of broken glass lay on the floor, from all of the shattered windows. Nobuyuki's camera lens was cracked, as was his glasses. Mihoshi still was crouched down, covering her ears and face. Yosho was just wearing a mangled piece of metal on his face, for that was all that was left of his spectacles. Washu's computer had a large fissure going down the monitor. Ryo-oh-ki uncurled her ears, Ryoko and Ayeka tried to stop the ringing in their heads, and Tenchi checked to see if he still had the ability to hear. Ryoko: This is what happens when you leave the tea on to boil too long! And where was Sasami? The second princess of Jurai lay in the center of the room. Both of her pigtails had come out of their buns she tied them in before she went to sleep. Her pajamas were stained near the bottom, with a warm, sticky, fluid that could only be her dew of passion. And aside from being very worn out, she looked very, VERY happy with the whole situation. Zechs: I find that hard to believe. Ryga: She was an unwitting participant in the whole thing! Vegeta: I don't know about you, but losing control of my body like that would scare the piss out of me! Ryoko: You ain't the only one. Tenchi was the first one to speak. "Washu, do you think it's over?" Ryga: What MORE could happen?! "Yes it is, Tenchi." replied Washu. "Whatever it was, it has now run its course, and is finally over." Vegeta: Oh, you wish. You wish. Ryoko: If Tsunami keeps that up, she'll go blind. Ryga: I blame it all on Shinji Ikari. It's his fault, for that disturbing scene in the End of Evangelion! Zechs: All I know is, I have a girlfriend, and I'm going to go to her and beg forgiveness for even having seen this. Vegeta: Hell, I'm just going home. Sasami then sat up, and wiped some of the sleep from her eyes. With a cute smile she stated, "Whatever it was, I hope that it happens again! ^_^" All: Facefault. And to all, a good face-fault. All: Groan. THE END. All: HOORAY! AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: Vegeta: Uh-oh. The author is going to defend his work. Ryga: You mean, he can?! Ryoko: No, but let's listen anyway. Zechs: Yes. It'll make stepping on him with the Epyon so much more appealling. I'VE POURED GASOLINE ALL OVER MY BODY, SO DON'T FLAME ME!!! O_O Vegeta summons a ki ball, smiling: Who, me? Now that I got that out of the way, I wish to defend my Fan Fic. Vegeta: The dragon cannot grant your wish. Sorry. Weather you like it or not. Vegeta: Weather. Hmm. Ryoko? Ryoko: Weather's fine. Fair skies, mild breeze, high of 72. Wow, my first lemon. . . And it's (kind of) funny. Ryga: If by funny, you mean odors, I'd have to agree. It stinks. I don't know when I decided to make this a lemon. It just CAME to me all of a sudden. >_< Zechs: Sorry. Not even worthy of a rimshot. Yes, I know that this is a Sasami lemon, and that everyone says that they all should be burned in some great funeral pyre, with their writers. Vegeta: Go no further. I'll be happy to oblige! Ryoko: I have the gasoline. Zechs: No need. The author is covered in the stuff, remember? Ryga: I can light it. Just give the word. Hey, I hated "In The Carrot Patch" (sorry, don't know the writer's name. But it is rumored that some other Fan Fic writers us his name as an alternative to cursing now) as much as the next guy, but I tried something different (I hope) from the usual 'Sasami- Lemon-Fic'. Zechs: It's different all right. Sicko! If you paid attention, you would have realized that I didn't make this the usual "Oh my god!! That was sick AND perverted!!!" Zechs: You're so lucky you aren't a little wooden boy. lemon Fan Fic. I tried to make this one kind of cute. ^_^ Vegeta: You failed miserably, hentai. . . . . . . I should be worried, shouldn't I. -_-; Vegeta (grins): I think he's catching on! Ryoko: About time. Well, if you still hate it so much then do a MST on it. Vegeta: As you can see, it's been taken care of. I certainly won't stop you. Ryoko: Because you can't. In fact you could do the same for ALL of my Fan Fiction stories, and I won't stop you. Go ahead, make my day! Ryga: Uh-oh. Sounds like a challenge. Just remember, I can also do an MST of a MST. BWA-HA-HA- HA-HA!!!!!!! Vegeta: GOOD LUCK! Ryga: Could he really do it? Zechs: Sure. He COULD. Ryoko: The question is, have we offended him enough that he would MST our MST? Vegeta: Oh, I certainly hope so! Oh, by the way. I've finally found an answer for why there are so many Sasami lemons, but no Nobuyuki lemons. Sasami is the cutest 'humanoid' character in the series, and gains some sexual attention from some respectable Fan Fic writers (You know who you are.), and MOST non-respectable Fan Fic writers (Same thing. You know who you are.). Weather you like it or not, Sasami is cute, sweet, and more desirable then MOST people would like to admit. Weber-san: I'll agree that Sasami is cute and sweet. But desireable? Seek help. Nobuyuki is another story entirely. Being a pervert is not the problem, if perversion was a problem then there would be no lemon Fan Fic, right? The problem is that Nobuyuki looks, and acts like a Japanese version of 'Homer Simpsion'. And if you get the English dubbed versions of the Tenchi Muyo series he even SOUNDS like him. Also here's something to consider; Who in their right mind would want to see Nobuyuki having sex? Just a thought. Weber-san: I didn't say I wanted to see that. But, in answer to your question, there is one person. Achika. So there! Oh well, until next time. Adidas! Peter Suzuki. Weber-san: The successful MST of a Sasami Lemon comes to a close. >From off screen, we hear a small girl's voice, "Brother, tell me the story about the magical princess again." Weber-san, "I do this for her, and all the other kids like her. On my way, sis!" Until we MST again!