MST of: For The Love of Kiyone A sliding metal door opens and sitting at the helm of what appears to be a little spaceship, is a tall black-haired bearded man, with long hair. He is the captain, his name is PHAW410653! Of the 25th of 2/4 century! PHaw: Shit! Spilled my Big Gulp! (Cleans up mess) minutes later.... PHaw: Greetings! I am PHaw, brave, handsome captain of the Starship Barwhore! My mission, to boldly and hilariously MST fics that noman has MSTed before! Joining me will be my guests! See I stole... er... borrowed Alexander's technology. So I can now pull various characters from various and multiple anime stories and even some made-up characters. From behind him a young womanly hand grabs him by the shoulder... PHaw: Oh I'm such an ass, meet my companion... Devil Girl! A pretty red-skinned woman appears from behind him. She has bat wings sprouting from her back. Her hair is silver-blue. She has a blue & green crew outfit on. DGirl: Whatcha doin' PHaw? PHaw: Talkin' to the reader. DGirl: Where? PHaw: Right Here! (points to reader) DGirl: Oh! Hi! (smiles) PHaw: I don't know what the hell she is... but godammit! She's hot! DGirl: Are you gonna show me yer little Captain Kirk? ^_^ PHaw: (Red-faced) Um.. not here Devil Girl... we have guests! DGirl: Oh.. yeah. PHaw: Today, we shall be reading the Lemon Story, involving Kiyone and Tenchi. It's called, " Interlude: Make Love to Me"... DGirl: OKAY!! (Pulls shirt off) PHaw: I was reading the title my dear... DGirl: False alarm? PHaw: Yes..... joining us will be the guest from the story, " Damn Lemons ", Dark Mike. From my Alkurna series. (Long story) Also Maxim will be joining us! DGirl: Anyone else? PHaw: Glad you mentioned that, Pretz; from the Final Fantasy Animes will be joining us. Also Kagato from the OAVs of the Tenchi Series. DGirl: Isn't it OVA? PHaw: OAV, OVA... what's the god damn difference? NOW LET THE FUN BEGIN!! (presses button) Out of nowhere, a Light Blue haired, Dark Blue skinned boy of 17 is dropped right in from of PHaw and Devil Girl. PHaw: Welcome Dark Mike! DarkMike: Where the hell am I? I was busy fightin! PHaw: You're going to help us MST a Lemon Fanfic! DarkMike: Sorta like that one time you had me visit Tenchi in Damn Lemons? PHaw: Correct! (Pushes Button) Again, out of nowhere, a Green Haired, goateed man with a gray T-shirt and blue pants is dropped right in front of PHaw. PHaw: Hello Maxim. Maxim: Wha? Where's Kiyone! We were about to make love! I was finally goin' to be in a lemon and you fucked it up for me! PHaw: Sorry. (Pushes button) A blue-haired youth with a small pigtail hanging from the back of his head appears right in front of PHaw. PHaw: How ya doing Pretz! Pretz: Um... fine. I guess. Maxim: Holy Shit! You... You sound just like Tenchi! PHaw: Now that you mention it... yeah! He does! (presses button) A gray-haired man pops out of nowhere! Kagato: NO TENCHI!! DON'T KILL ME!!! huh... PHaw: Sorry... cut it a bit too close there. Kagato: I'm... I'm Alive! PHaw: Get used to it kid, when this is over I'm sending ya back where you just where. Kagato: What? PHaw: Devil Girl will explain the situation to you. Pretz walks up... Pretz: Where's Alexander? PHaw: Ohh... nowhere. I am just borrowing this equipment.. Well, we've stalled too much. Let the Carnage begin! Kagato: Ready... I guess. DarkMike: Me too. I'll get you for this Mike! Pretz: Here we go again. Maxim: We watching a lemon? Cool! Tities! Tities! DGirl: Ready! A Tenchi-Muyo fanfic by Keiichi Masaki (Keiichi_dono@hotmail.com, keiichi-dono@geocities.com) Kagato: What the hell is this! Who tells you their name? You might send hate mail to them. Or trace it to their house and kill them! PHaw: I guess this guy thinks his fic is a work of art. I know the feeling. DarkMike: (writing) Let's see... that's Keiichi_dono@hotmail.com. Alright! I got his number! Tenchi and Kiyone Masaki (did I hear a collective faint? PHaw: I'm fainting... help me... it's such a crappy concept... hurk! DarkMike: Uh... PHaw? You okay? Maxim: huh? Kiyone! What're you doing? You're my girlfriend! Good!), as well as the rest of the cast from Tenchi-Muyo!, are the property of Pioneer and AIC. Kagato: Pioneer.... that sounds so familiar! DGirl: Oh! You're awake PHaw. PHaw: What'd I miss? Maxim: Nothing.. it's just started! PHaw: DAMN! I was so close! Author's note/rant: This is my response fic to Dr. Tran's challenge on the FFML, and to a similar one made at GenSao's this weekend. Ten-Kiyo fics are my stock in trade PHaw: Lame stock! DarkMike: (in a hick voice) Gee thanks... hiyuk! (no apologies whatsoever to the RFFC), and so, being the High Priest of the Temple of the Teal-tressed Goddess PHaw: I see we have a cultist on our hands. Maxim: People worship Kiyone? , it falls to me. (Author ducks rocks and bricks thrown by various RFFC members Dark Mike throws a rock at the screen... bearing the words "traitor" and "heretic") DarkMike: I'd call him more worse words than heretic and traitor! Well... on with the fic: Interlude: Make Love to Me.... DGirl: Okay (pulls shirt off again) PHaw: Not here Devil Girl! (Warning: as indicated by the chapter's title, this installment contains scenes of a graphically sexual nature. DarkMike: Oh! I didn't know that! I wouldn't have possibly had known that! Even though the title said Make Love to Me, I just didn't realize it! However, none of the sex in here is violent or nonconsentual, Maxim: Ugh! Words too big to read! Kagato: Hold it in! Hold it in! There you go! Feel better? Maxim: Thanks! and intended as a depiction of love between two young people of legal age. I'll try to make it as tasteful as possible.) DarkMike: Tastes good! "Mmm...." Tenchi had never felt this good about morning before. Maxim: Must've banged Ryoko last night! Of course, he reflected, I've never had this angel beside me to wake up to.... He shifted slightly to watch Kiyone sleep. Maxim: NNNOOO!!! (Pissed off!) PHaw: Calm down Maxim! Calm.. down... Maxim: Say it ain't so! Say it ain't so! Always beautiful, Maxim: Grrr... even early in the morning with mussed hair, she looked positively angelic now. Pretz: Damn! Good wording! Maxim: SHUT-UP!! A small, content smile curved her beautiful lips upward. PHaw: (to Devil Girl) Reminds me of the face you made last night! DGirl: (giggling) Behave! Sensing Tenchi's movement, she shifted too, snuggling closer to him. Kagato: Wow! She's a slut! Maxim: Grrr... Soon she became aware of his attention and opened one eye sleepily. "Mmm.... morning, Tenchi-yon." Maxim: Dammit! "Good morning, Kiyone--I mean, Kiyone-yoni." DarkMike: And Cheese! He kissed her Maxim: Sniff... Sniff.. Why me? DGirl: Sorry Maxim. (pats him on the back) on the forehead. "Morning's never felt so good before." "Morning or bed?" she asked teasingly. "Both." Tenchi gently caressed her cheek. "Part of me wonders why we didn't do this before." Maxim: Cause he knows pretty damn well I'd kill him! DarkMike: I'll help ya! "And I can guess which part," Kiyone quipped playfully, reaching under the covers to tickle the specific item. Tenchi groaned, feeling his body react to her ministrations. "Oh, god.... m-maybe you sh-shouldn't do th-that.... it's still re-recovering...." Maxim: After I'm through with him it'll take alot of recovering! Damn Author! Kiyone arched a teal eyebrow. "Really? It feels recovered to me...." "Kiyone-yoni...." DarkMike: And Cheese! "All right. I'll let it rest.... for a little while." She rested her head on his chest. "Still, I know what you mean." Tenchi wrapped his arms around Kiyone. "Last night.... I still can't quite find the words to describe it...." "Don't worry about it. Just hold me...." Pretz: Reminds me of what me and Linaly do! Maxim: oooohh man... shut-up Pretz! Kagato: You're right! (angered) He does sound like TENCHI!! Pretz: Hold on Kagato! I'm Pretz... not Tenchi! Kagato: Shut-up Tenchi! "Forever...." Tenchi settled back into the bed, letting the events of the prior evening--or earlier that morning, if one wanted to be technical--replay in his head, the events that had lead to he and his ladylove being snuggled together like this, wearing naught but the sheets.... PHaw: Kling! Simply Irresistable! Maxim: That does it! I'm going to kill him! DarkMike: Whoo-hoo! A public ass-kicking! I love those! Can I help? Maxim: Okay.. I'll need help taking care of the girls while I kill Tenchi! * * * "Tenchi-yon?" "Yes, Kiyone-yoni?" DarkMike: Give me some CHEESE!!! "Make love to me." PHaw: DAMN!!! He's quick! Hardly even knows the girl and she already wants to have sex! Takes me at least a week! Maxim: Yeah... Tenchi gets all the girls! I'm getting screwed here! I ain't getting any pussy! Kagato: Why not try Ryo-ohki! Maxim: You sick fuck! I don't do animals! Well... there was that party... but... "Huh?!" Tenchi looked at her in shock. Not that the thought hadn't crossed his mind--in fact, he had been doing his best to ignore those urges--but still.... "A-are you sure?" Maxim: No. She really meant to ask me! Kiyone smiled. "Tenchi-yon, the first thing you need to learn about Megamian women PHaw: Great! That's all we need... a Megamiesh woman... DarkMike: Funny... she doesn't look Megamiesh! is that they never say 'make love to me' unless they're absolutely sure." "And what's the second?" Tenchi asked lightly. "One step at a time, Tenchi-yon...." The next step was Kiyone's bed. PHaw: He's Quick! It takes me at least two weeks to get into the girl's bed. In all the times that Tenchi had been on Yagami, both before and after he and Kiyone had become a couple, he had never been in her bedroom. Maxim: I have been in her bedroom. Not much there! PHaw: So you've calmed down? Maxim: For right now... at least. In the rest of her quarters, sure, and in her bedroom in his house, but never on Yagami. They had never spoken of it, and she had never made any real effort to keep him out, but he had simply never been in there. It was almost as if it was someplace sacred, someplace that he had to prove himself worthy before entering.... Maxim: It ain't a fuckin' Japanese Temple! It's just a girl's room! It don't take much to get into Kiyone's room. I know from experience! "What're you thinking about, Tenchi-yon?" Kiyone asked, DarkMike: It ryhmes with sock! Pretz: He's thinking with his little sword! the hand not in his resting on the translucent curtain that separated her bedchamber from the rest of her quarters. Maxim: Huh? What the hell was he trying to say here? PHaw: I don't have a one clue! "Just.... that this is the first time I've ever been in here," he answered, blushing slightly. "Huh?" Kiyone was confused for a moment, then her features softened as she realized what he meant. She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry if I've been keeping you out." "No, it's okay." Tenchi squeezed back. "I just figured that when the time was right, we'd be here." DarkMike: (Annoying little voice) I don't wanna wait... for our lives to be over.. "And here we are," she said, softly pulling the curtain aside. It was a fairly typical-looking bedroom, with a dresser, closet, and nightstand situated around the bed. Maxim: What the hell was he expecting? An ancient greek temple? Or some Arabian bedroom? It's just a regular good old-fashioned bedroom! The closet door was half-open, PHaw: Inside was Jason Voorhees; ready to kill them both with a machete! showing Kiyone's dress uniform hanging neatly. Tenchi was a little surprised to see a plush cabbit doll resting on the bed next to the pillows. "It's a nice room." Kiyone was blushing slightly. "Well, sit down, make yourself comfortable...." Kagato: This is stupid! Tenchi ain't like this! I've seen that little tard at work! He ain't some dashing cassanova! More like a dashing DUMBASS! PHaw: But he killed you! Didn't he? Kagato: What? PHaw: Nothing... I was talking to Dark Mike! DarkMike: Whu? She gestured at the bed. Tenchi watched his fianc,e as he sat down. Maxim: They're engaged? I didn't know that... did you guys? PHaw: Nope! Kagato: I had no idea! Pretz: Don't look at me! DarkMike: I don't have a fuckin' clue! DGirl: I sure as heck didn't know. "Kiyone-yoni are you okay?" DarkMike:(mimicing Kiyone) I just got some cheese stuck between my legs! Kiyone nodded as she seated herself next to him, leaning against him as he wrapped an arm around her. "Yeah, I'm okay." "Nervous?" he asked--well, nervously. This was his first time, after all. "Yeah, a little, but about two things." She shifted around and faced him. "Tenchi-yon, you're the second man that's been in here." Maxim: That's right Tenchi! Little asshole... Tenchi nodded, gulping. His future wife or not, Kiyone was five years older than he was. She had never talked much about her past relations with other men, and he hadn't felt it his place to inquire. He didn't--he couldn't--fault her for being with someone else; he was merely a little jealous that he wouldn't be the first. "Kiyone-yoni, whatever happened before I met you is none of my business." "I know, and I appreciate that, but when you said you'd marry me, you agreed to take all of me, including my emotional baggage.... Maxim: Oh! So now I'm emotional "baggage"! PHaw: Shut-up Maxim! This is not the Kiyone you're in love with! This is a story! Maxim: I know.. but I just don't like seeing Kiyone with other men! She's mine! anyway, there was a young man, who I met at the Academy." Kiyone paused to gauge Tenchi's reaction, then continued. "Akito and I were very close, Maxim: Akito? She never mentioned a guy named Akito! as close as you and I are in some ways. We had even broached the subject of marriage.... and had almost become engaged the night we made love." DarkMike: (Singing) In the Spaceship, Kiyone's Spaceship, the Tenchi gets layed tonight! Maxim: Oh shut-up! Stop rubbing it in! She smiled softly. "He was a lot like you, you know. Maxim: Dumb, stupid, and a shy little asshole? Who can't keep his hands off other guys' girls? Very sweet, kinda shy.... he had actually bought the ring...." DarkMike: (Mimicing Akito) I won it at the Olympics! I need four more now! Not sure what to say or feel, Tenchi asked, "Wh-what happened?" DGirl: The usual... Guy finds more better girl! Or the other way around! Kiyone sighed. "We were going to have dinner that night, and.... I already knew about the ring, knew what he was going to do, and knew my answer.... Maxim: (Mimicing Kiyone) No Akito! I've met Maxim! A real man! He isn't as shy as you are you little loser! Kagato: Let it go! She isn't cheating on you! This is a fanfic! Get over it! but he was called away by Vice for a drug bust. He assured me that it would be over quick and kissed me good-bye. He never came home." PHaw: Must've been flying on the Starship Voyager! Now Tenchi was really unsure what to say. So he did the first thing he could think of: he hugged Kiyone tightly. After a moment she leaned against him, sighing. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have dumped that on you DarkMike: Yeah! Should've pissed in his hair! now. I've long since come to terms with losing Akito, but I've never been in love since.... until I met you." "I feel the same way about Maya and you," Tenchi whispered, kissing her gently on the forehead. A thought occurred to him. "Kiyone-yoni, if you don't want to do this tonight, that's perfectly fine--" Maxim: Okay! Good! Save some for me! Kagato: Note to self... never read love stories about your enemy.. they make you lose your lunch! PHaw: In yer case it causes you to lose half your body! Kagato: HUH?!?! "No." Her voice was firm, but was also accented with longing. Her sapphire eyes met his of mahogany, Pretz: Let's build a bridge a bridge out of his eyes! and he read more of that longing, mixed with a hint of mischief. PHaw: What.. she turned into Sasami all of a sudden? "Tenchi-yon, for the last six months, I've wanted to get you in here. I was just waiting for you to make the first move." "You what?!" Tenchi sputtered, unsure whether to disappointed at the missed opportunities or elated that she really did want him as much as he wanted her. "B-but why....? One of the things I love most about you is your forthrightness." Kiyone turned a cute smile upon him, DGirl: OUCH! That must've hurt! the one she used when she had gotten something out of Tenchi that he hadn't even realized he'd forked over. PHaw: HIS IMMORTAL SOUL AND HIS TESTICLES!!! "I know, but after all the madness you've had to put up with, I thought you would appreciate the traditional approach." DarkMike: Good ol' fashioned AX MURDER!!! "I don't know if I appreciate the approach, but I do cherish the motives--and the woman who executed them." He turned her chin upward slightly and brushed his lips against hers. She sighed her contentment into his mouth, and the two lovers held the kiss for a long moment. Finally Tenchi broke the kiss, albeit reluctantly. "You're sure you want to do this tonight?" PHaw: Well, if she already has his immortal soul and his balls.. then I guess she must want to have sex then... Kiyone caressed his cheek. "Absolutely." She abruptly stood up. "I'll be right back." Tenchi was surprised (naturally). "Where're you going?" Maxim:(mimicing Kiyone) To go get my power tool! DGirl:(mimicing Tenchi) Your what!? "To take a shower," Kiyone answered brightly as she gathered up a small pile of clothing. "Huh?! But you already took one...." DarkMike: Let's take it together! C'mon! Ryoko and Aykea do it all the time! "I want to get ready for you," she told him. There was even more teasing in her voice now. Maxim: Tenchi hates being teased! "Y-you know," he said softly, not trusting his voice, "I wanted to undress you myself our first time...." DGirl: (Mimicing Tenchi) But now my erection is gone... bye! "Don't worry, you will," she assured him. There was a fair amount of desire mixed with the love in her eyes, promising a tiring but fulfilling night. "Wh-what do you want me to do in here?" he asked. Pretz: Watch Sick German Fetish porn! "Like I said earlier, make yourself comfortable. I'll be back soon...." She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead (ironically enough, on the very place that he would kiss on her forehead). Maxim: You know... she's really lookin' for the spot where she'll eventually stick a rail spike through his head! With that, she was gone, PHaw: With the wind! and Tenchi fell back on the bed, his head already swimming with images of Kiyone in the shower.... and, for once, he wouldn't have to take a cold one to purge those thoughts. Maxim: Too bad Tenchi don't drink! That's my job! By the time twenty minutes had passed, Tenchi was as comfortable as he could make himself. His clothing had begun to feel constrictive Maxim: Nope! That's Kiyone's pet Anaconda wrapping around his neck! DarkMike: Or it's one of Washuu's Tenctacles from that one lame Lemon a year ago! DGirl: No Need For Tentacles... (nervousness combined with.... something else), so he had stripped to his shorts Maxim: OH SWEET JESUS!! COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?! DGirl: Honey! It's moving! Ew! PHaw: HELP!! I'm BLINDED!!! DarkMike: Ya know, for a Kiyone cultist, this guy really loves Tenchi alot! and stretched out on her bed. Pretz: AHH!! He's an hemaphordite! Kagato: Note to self! Don't ever EVER read one of these stories again! Why are you so nervous? he asked himself. As if you didn't know, he answered back. I'm going to be making love for the first time with the woman I love and will marry! Why shouldn't I be nervous?! Maxim: Cause you know I'll jump out of nowhere and kill you till you die from it! "Hi, Tenchi-yon." Tenchi looked up, and his eyes widened. Kiyone was standing in the entryway to the bedroom, wearing a white button-down shirt that came down to her knees. PHaw: RUN!! She's a fembot!! She was patting at her still-wet hair with a towel, and her skin was slightly reddened from standing under hot water. As far as Tenchi was concerned, she had never looked sexier. She smiled and approached the bed. "I see you've made yourself comfortable." DarkMike:(Mimicing Tenchi) Um.. how can you tell?.... oh! Don't mind that thing! It has a mind of it's own! DGirl: It's possessed! "I see you've made yourself irresistible," he replied, pulling himself into a sitting position. PHaw: Must've taken alot of effort! "I'm sorry I don't have any champagne or anything to offer," Kiyone apologized as she climbed onto the bed, kneeling in front of Tenchi. Kagato: LET THE VIRGIN SACRIFICE BEGIN!!! "The only thing I want is you," he whispered hoarsely, PHaw: Watch it! He may have an STD!! He's been with Ryoko! You never know! rising on his knees and taking her by the shoulders, his eyes burning into hers. DGirl: That must've hurt!! I hate it when the guy burns my eyes with his! "That's exactly what I wanted to hear," she replied, meeting his lips with hers. Upon contact, their mouths opened slightly, just enough to allow the other's tongue access. Kagato: I'm leavin! PHaw: SIT DOWN!! After a few pleasant moments of osculation, Maxim: Another BIG word! God this guy must be using Websters! Tenchi gently pulled away from her lips and began to nibble his way down to her collarbone. DGirl: OW!! Her collarbone? Her sighs grew louder. Their hands were equally busy. Kiyone's hands were working their way up and down Tenchi's chest. While he wasn't a muscle magazine cover boy, he was naturally wiry Maxim: So he's like Steve Urkel? and practicing kendo since he was old enough to move and swing a bokken at the same time had kept him trim. She shifted her legs slightly, spreading them open to allow Tenchi to kneel between them. DGirl: ON YOUR KNEES!!! For their part, Tenchi's fingers were quickly undoing the buttons of her shirts, probing underneath, acting on his desire to undress his beloved himself. Pretz: Well... it's great to know that he loves himself! DarkMike: I love myself! Under the shirt was a pair of lace string bikini-style panties and a lace bra, Kagato: She wears panties on her breasts? PHaw: I think he meant to say she was wearing panties on her lower extremities! both just a shade lighter than Kiyone's hair. Maxim: Why does he care about the color of her bra and panties? His eyes widened; while he and Kiyone had made out a number of times, this was the first time he'd seen her so close to completely naked. All of the men: PUSS!!! Her body was athletic and very well-proportioned; no supermodel or idol singer could have bettered her. She was beautiful all over. Maxim: For once the auther makes a good reference to how Kiyone actually is!! He was about to keep kissing down her body when his eyes fell upon a pendant resting between her breasts. PHaw: And only someone like Tenchi would actually take the time to look at a pendant while having sex! All: PUSS!!! "Hmm?" He disengaged his lips and took a closer look at it. It was silver, heart-shaped locket with the characters for "Kiyone" engraved just above a perfect rounded stone that looked like a cross between a sapphire and a turquoise. DarkMike: I guess he has totally forgotten about the sex! He's more interested in this little pendant than his "Wife"! "Tenchi-yon, why'd you--oh, I see." Kiyone, her arousal-flushed face a close analog of her fianc,'s, looked down and saw the object holding his attention. "I see you found it." Kagato: All of her past lovers' heads!!! Tenchi gently fingered the locket, somehow ignoring the fact that it rested between a rather impressive pair of breasts. PHaw: Again! Only Tenchi would stop having sex to look at a measly little pendant! Maxim: Guess he doesn't notice the breasts! "It's beautiful. I've never seen you wearing it before." "And how often would you have been in a position to see it?" Kiyone laughed softly. At his flush of embarrassment, she leaned down and kissed his head. Pretz: Alot of head kissing! And that's not a sick joke either! "I'm sorry, darling. That's a pendant that Megamian women traditionally wear when they expect their lover to propose." After the proposal, the two make love, and then he puts it on for the rest of his life." DarkMike: So he can't pick up chicks anymore? He's getting the shaft! PHaw: You're talking about Tenchi here! DarkMike: Oh yeah! I forgot about him... the little wussy! "Oh? So you were expecting me to propose tonight?" Tenchi chuckled. Kagato: NO! In two years! OF COURSE TONIGHT!!! He felt like he should have been a little insulted, but instead he felt rather amused. "My wife knows what I'm gonna do before I do." Pretz: He's finally learned something about how a wife acts! "Yes, I do," Kiyone replied coyly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And what you're going to do right now is start kissing me again." "Yes, my lady...." Tenchi's mouth resumed nibbling on her collarbone, PHaw: Must be a vampire or sumthin. I'd never nibble on a girl's collarbone! DGirl: You did last night! as his hands went around her back, coming together in the small of her back. Pretz: They must have mutiple arms... cause their arms seem to be doing alot of wrapping around stuff. One braced itself against her spine while the other began to gently tug at the strap stretched horizontally across her back. Kiyone giggled. "Tenchi-yon, the hook's in the front." To demonstrate, she pushed him away gently and reached between her breasts, deftly unsnapping the hook. The bra fell into her lap, exposing her rosy pink nipples. She shifted slightly, causing her generously-sized bosom to bounce invitingly. "There. Is that better?" "H-hai...." Tenchi picked up his pace, working his lips down to the upper curves of her breasts in ten seconds flat (no pun intended). DarkMike: I don't get it! What's the joke? Just as quickly, his lips slipped over one erect nipple, gently caressing it with his tongue. Maxim: He's finally realized what those two big balloon objects were in front of his face! "Ahh...." Kiyone arched her back, closing her eyes. She dug her fingers into Tenchi's shoulders, her nails breaking skin. Neither of them cared. PHaw: Ow! That's a gusher!! Maxim: Regular men would have thrown the girl off of them! That sort of thing hurts!! Tenchi's lips were now encircling the other nipple, and were now proving a theory. PHaw: That he's not gay? One of his friends in high school, a boy who was what Americans called a "player," had once confided to him that each girl had their own unique taste. DGirl: Mine's Rocky Road! This was after he and Maya had parted ways, and he couldn't remember her having any real taste.... ....but with Kiyone, it was as if all his nerves were sharpened to the nth degree--including taste. And if his senses were working right.... his fianc,e tasted like peaches and cream. DarkMike: Let's make a sundae out of her!! "Ungh.... Tenchi-yon...." Kiyone pushed herself onto his lap, effectively Maxim: Tenchi-yon, Kiyone-Yoni... SPEAK ENGLISH!!! straddling him, pushing her pelvis closer to his. However, his legs were too far spread open to support her, and she ended up toppling onto her back. Kagato: SNAP!! Her arms were tightly wrapped around Tenchi, so he landed on top of her. Naturally, this bothered neither of them. Kagato: Except Kiyone's spinal chord! Kiyone merely shifted slightly, spreading her legs and wrapping them around Tenchi's waist as he stretched out between them. Pretz: Hope neither of them get cramps! Maxim: They must be flexible! His lips were now working their way back up her body, DarkMike: Next floor.. Tities and lips! finally settling back on hers. The fierce kissing went on for a long time before they separated for breath. Tenchi gasped for oxygen, then looked down at his beloved. She was breathing heavily, hair matted to her forehead with sweat. Her face was red, like his, from both exertion and arousal; further evidence of the latter was present in the moist crotch of her panties and the painfully hard erection now poking through his shorts. Maxim: IT'S BACK!! NOOOO!!! DarkMike: This is too graphic! Kagato: You could hang a jacket on that thing!!! EWW!!! It's TWITCHIN!!! PHaw: Urg... losing lunch... hurgle... DGirl: It's kinda cute! Pretz: He needs to sheath that thing!! He stroked her cheek gently. "Kiyone-yoni?" DarkMike: (In an Ash voice) Give me some Cheese baby! Kiyone smiled up at him and pulled her face down to hers, DGirl: Is that even possible? Pulling your face to your face? then whispered, "What's wrong?" "Nothing," he answered shakily. "I just wanted to know that you were ready...." She nodded. This was just as effective as if she'd said, "I am.... make love to me, darling...." DGirl: This is too long! Tenchi quickly pushed his shorts off, groaning in relief as the pressure of the shorts against him disappeared. He wasted no time in removing Kiyone's panties; PHaw: Hulk Hogan style! DarkMike: Whatcha goin to do when Tenchi erection runs wild all over you? Maxim: Castrate him! the sight of her fully exposed to him, her inner gate topped by a triangle of aquamarine, in itself almost brought him over the edge. Pretz: What? She turned into a castle? He knelt between her thighs and eased himself into her. DarkMike:(mimicing Kiyone) Welcome! C'mon in! "Ahh!" Kiyone arched her back, the almost-forgotten sensations racing up and down her body. Tenchi immediately stopped. Forcing himself to ignore the intoxicating feel of her, he started to pull out. PHaw:(in a Norm Macdonald voice) quit saying dirty things! "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" "You sweet fool.... no. Quite the opposite," Kiyone whispered. She reached up for Tenchi, who leaned down enough for her to wrap her arms around his neck again, DarkMike: (In a wrestling announcer voice) Kiyone with the Blatant Choke!!! bring him down on top of her. She cried out again as he slipped back in. "Ohh, Tenchi-yon.... that's so good...." "K-kiyone-yoni...." Tenchi groaned DarkMike: And... And... Cheese! as he entered her fully. None of his fantasies or dreams, none of their make-out sessions, had prepared him for the sheer rush of the real thing, the moist snugness of her around him, the heaving of her body beneath him coupled with her almost-rhythmic panting. Pretz: Chugga Chugga Chugga!! Bracing his feet against the mattress, he slowly eased forward, the contact of their bodies intoxicating him. Kiyone, her legs wrapped firmly around Tenchi, pushed herself against him, plunging him into her to the hilt. DarkMike: Pull out Bessie!! YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW!!! Another gasp of pleasure escaped her lips, and she closed her eyes. After Akito had died, she had thrown herself into her work, burying the loneliness under a pile of arrest reports and procedures. DGirl: She works hard for the Money! So hard for the money!! DarkMike: So you better fuck her right!! She had never seriously entertained the thought of taking up with someone else, never thought that she could love anyone so deeply again.... but then she and Tenchi had spent that night talking on the roof. She had often wondered, and still would in the future, if she would have made the same choices had she known the outcome. And the answer was always a resounding "Yes." This was the culmination of six months of love, of longing, and of need. And he felt so good.... "Kiyone-yoni.... I can't hold out much longer...." Tenchi's voice was shaking; Maxim: This is sick!! He's going to blow!! little surprise there. Kiyone herself was close to her edge. "Me too...." She began to buck as Tenchi increased his rhythm, going faster and harder, pushing both of them closer.... PHaw: Look at them go sportsfans! DarkMike: It's really sick... but I can't keep my eyes off it! DGirl: Yeah! It's like a Lava lamp... As the moment neared, their eyes met, and Tenchi smiled. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you too," Kiyone whispered back, an angelic smile on her face. And then it was upon them. All: BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!! PHaw: The nuclear bomb incinerates them both! HA HA!! Take that McClane! "Oro.... my head...." Tenchi slowly sat up, feeling rather drained. He'd just had the wildest erotic dream about Kiyone and him, and he felt like it had been-- DarkMike: But it was real! You were in it! And you! And you!! --"Ohayoo." PHaw: Oh no! It's become Dukes of Hazard! We're in Ohio!!!! "Oro?!" Tenchi turned, and saw Kiyone, wearing naught but the sheets, DarkMike: Naughty!! smiling up at him. She too looked as if she'd been exercising heavily (understatement of the year) Maxim: and the understatement of the year award goes to... Kiyone!!! but she also had a smugly satisfied look on her face.... And then it dawned on him, that he had no reason to be ashamed, or embarrassed, or anything other than supremely satisfied. He smiled and lay down again, wrapping his arms around his fianc,e. "Ohayoo." DarkMike: Ol' Ohio! Ohayoo!! "Are you sure that was your first time?" she whispered teasingly. "Huh?" His face suddenly reddened, then he realized she was joking. "You're not just saying that to make me feel good, are you?" "Well, I am saying to make you feel good, but I meant it, too. You--" she poked his chest gently "--were quite good last night." "And you--" he kissed her on the forehead "--were incredible." He paused for a moment, and then whispered, "Did I ever tell you that you taste like peaches and cream?" Maxim: Well, she does like shampooing with Herbal Essence.. "Nani?!" Kiyone looked a little shocked, Maxim: OH GOD!! Not the Nanny! I hate that show!!! then giggled. "I don't know whether to be amused or flattered!" PHaw: Ashamed! DGirl: Flattered! DarkMike: Both! Get to the sex again! "Try both. Now...." Tenchi's left hand reached up, gently cupping her right breast. "....now what do we do?" Kagato: Do it all over again! DGirl: Oh God! Please No!! "Now, my husband, it's time for you to learn the second thing you need to know about Megamian women." Tenchi raised an eyebrow. "And that is?" Pretz: They eat the male after mating! She wrapped her arms around his neck, and drew her body against his. "Once we're married to someone.... well, let's just say that you may need to reevaluate your idea of a good night's sleep." "Would you be so kind as to demonstrate?" he asked dryly. "Oh, I think so...." DarkMike: In the Spaceship, Kiyone's spaceship; the Tenchi gets laid tonight! * * * "Ready to go?" Tenchi asked. Kiyone exhaled. "Yeah. I don't know why I feel nervous. Kagato: Cause Ryoko and Ayeka are going to kill her... that's a good reason! All we'll be doing is telling your dad that we've finally gone and done what he's been bugging us about since day one." "And now he'll be checking your stomach...." Tenchi sighed. "Ah, well." He took her hand and squeezed it gently. "Ready to go, Mrs. Masaki?" "I've been ready for six months," she smiled. "Me too." DarkMike: Me three! Nobuyuki stretched and yawned. 'Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wait up all night for them to get back...." "Then why did you?" Washu inquired, PHaw: He's a pervert! That's why! Got a problem with that? bringing him a cup of tea. Unlike Nobuyuki, she--and everyone else in the house-- DarkMike: Kinda funny that Ryoko and Ayeka don't have a problem with what Tenchi and Kiyone are doing! had slept soundly. "I wanted to tease Tenchi and Kiyone when they got home. Last night was their six-month anniversary, and I think he was planning to propose, so I was expecting them to get home late. I guess I didn't expect them to be this late, though...." "We're home!" The front door slid open, and the missing couple stepped through. "Oh! Welcome back, you two!" called out Sasami, emerging from the kitchen. "Did you two have a good time last night?" At that both of them blushed, and started to say "Yes" at the same time. "I'd say they did," remarked Washu dryly. DGirl:(mimicing Washuu) Look at the cum steins on Kiyone's shirt! "How wonderful!" Before either Tenchi or Kiyone could move, Nobuyuki was hugging them both tightly. "I knew it! I knew it!" He directed his next exultation to the heavens. "Did you hear that, my darling Achika? We're going to be grandparents!" DarkMike: Somwhere far away, Achika's rolling in her grave! "Dad, you moron," Tenchi managed to choke out. "At least say hi to your daughter-in-law!" "You're right, Tenchi!" Now Kiyone was being nearly suffocated by Nobuyuki's embrace. "Welcome to the family, my daughter!!" PHaw: Even though Kiyone's been at that house for what 2 maybe three years? Maxim: Nobuyuki is pretty stupid! He doesn't notice anything at all! "Dad! You can let go of her now!" Nobuyuki finally released her, still crying out to the heavens. Tenchi caught her in his arms. "I guess neither of us quite reckoned on everything that the other would bring, huh, Kiyone-yoni?" DarkMike: You mean you forgot the CHEESE?!? "It's worth it," she smiled. "Now, could you help me up the stairs?" "Of course." And he swept her up in his arms and started carrying her up the staircase. Washu sighed and smiled, shaking her head slightly as their tired but happy voices faded from earshot (and as Nobuyuki was now shouting his thanks to every deity under the sun out in the driveway). "Ah, young love...." Owari ALL: YAY!!! IT'S OVER!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!!! Maxim: Time to go back home and bone Kiyone!! Kagato: Thanks for that lovely image! DGirl: Bye! Thanx for visiting! PHaw: Good Luck Kagato! You'll be dead in 10 seconds when you get back! Kagato: WHAT!? (disappears) Dark Mike and Maxim disappear too. Along with Pretz... Later on... Devil Girl and PHaw410653 are this pretty big pink bed... PHaw: (Singing) Let's do it like they do it in the Fanfics baby! THE END Author's notes: One word about this, in the words of Kenshin Himura: "Oro...." This is the first--and last--lemon I'm gonna post to the FFML. If you want My thanks to Chris Carlson and Mark Eymer for their prereading and suggestions, and to Long H. Tran for the challenge that has brought me thus far. List of songs listened to during the writing of this (in hopes of explaining my state of mind ^^): "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer "Yakusoku wa Iranai" by Maaya Sakamoto "Take My Heart," "Never Surrender," "Everything in My Heart," "Going Home," "In Your Soul," and "Chase the Sun" by Corey Hart (yeah, yeah, I'm half-Canadian) "Rain" by Ryotaro Okiayu "If You Asked Me To" by Celine Dion (which, upon closer inspection, seems as good a theme song as any for this series) "Leave A Tender Moment Alone" by Billy Joel "Heart of Sword" by T.M. Revolution "When I Feel This Way" by Beth-Nielsen Chapman Oh, and one more thing: Kthardin, your doujinshi was probably responsible for this too. Thought you'd like to know. ^^ DarkMike: Time to go kill Keiichi!!! THANKS FOR READING THIS!!! I ENJOY THE FAN-MAIL!!! ---- PHaw410653@aol.com What? YOU CAN STOP IT NOW!!! THAT'S IT!!!! IT'S OVER!!! GO BACK TO THE ARCHIVES!!!!