Deep within the vastness of space is a ship known as the Soja II. Why is it called the Soja II you ask? Well the author was lazy and couldn't come up with a decent name of his own. (A/N: HEY!!) ^_^; Anyway.....the beings on this ship have been called upon by an all powerful entity known as Tokimi. She forces them to watch things that would make the bravest soul cringe with disgust. Tokimi hopes to fill her victims with so much hatred, anger, and loathing in a certain diminutive genius that it will lure her in like a flew to a bug zapper. This is their story...... (In the Entertainment Room of the ship Buu and Slim Shady(Eminem) are playing Dead or Alive 2 on Sega Dreamcast) Slim: Take that fat boy! Buu: Awwwww! Slim: Yeah! Zack is the shit! No one can beat him! Buu: Best three out five! Slim: Your on Pinky! (The room trembles slightly) Buu: (fumbling madly with controllers) You feel something? Slim: (ditto) Nope. (Just then Tsunami enters. Her face is red and her hair is damp. Its obvious that she has just taken a shower) Tsunami: Serves you right pervert!! That's the FOURTH time you've tried to walk in on me in the shower!! (A severely charred Bizarre staggers in) Biz: ....ow..... Tsunami: Next time I'll blast your nether region! Slim: (focused on game) Peter I wish you'd cut that shit out. Its obvious you ain't getting none. Biz: I can dream...heeheehee (The sound of alarms blaring echoes throughout the ship) Tokimi: (on intercom) Enough games! You've had plenty of time to rest up. Get in the theater! Buu: (throws controller down) NO FAIR!! You cheat! Slim: ^_~ Hey you got the fighting skills but when it comes to video games I'm the champ! Tsunami: *sigh* Ok Tokimi what is it this time. Tokimi: A little something starring Washu. You'll find out the rest when you watch. Oh and before I forget. You'll be receiving two guests. (a flash of ligh and two people appear. The female is wearing hardly anything. Tight yellow shorts that don't even reach her knees, white boots, a matching leather yellow blouse that just barely covers her 36C chest, and a unzipped red jacket. Her skin is milky white and her violet hair runs down to her shoulders) ???Woman: What the hell is this!? (The second is a young man with an almost sickly thin frame. His hair is green and spiky. His eyes are an uneven shade of brown. He's wearing dark pants with a matching jacket and a yellow shirt underneath) ???Man: Gee Faye, what have you gotten me into this time? Faye: WHAT!? Why do you think this is my damn fault!?! I'm as clueless as you! Man: (lights a cigarette) Well it just so happens that it is usually always your fault so don't get bent out of shape about it. Faye: Spike! Your such a lunkhead!! Spike: Wench! (Before Spike or Faye can say another word the are both grabbed by Buu who escorets them to the theater. The others follow closely and take their seats in the following order.....Bizarre, Faye, Spike, Tsunami, Slim, and Buu) Spike: So ya say we're gonna watch these fics? Ha! Sounds simple enough. I needed a break anyway. Biz: (rubbing Faye's thigh) So what's your sign baby? Faye: (points the business end of her oozi at Biz's crotch) ....stop..... Biz: 0_0; Tsunami: Well Mr. Spike. This won't be as easy as you think. Faye: Oh? disclaimer:i do not own tenchi or any of the tenchi characters, blah, blah,blah, blah okay......cool...^_^ Spike: What the hell kinda disclaimer was that? Faye: The kind that the AIC and Pioneer lawyers simply enjoy. It makes the lawsuit that easier to win. Tsunami: He didn't capitalize any of the appropriate words. Slim: Ya gonna nitpick aren't ya? Tsunami: ^_^ (Washu’s lab)---------”Yes! it’s almost complete!” Washu says wiith a sense of completion in her voice. “Those rotten good for nothin little brats! they’ ll all be sorry. Aaaaahahahahaah!!!!! Slim: (points at Washu on screen) (Old geezer) EVIL! *WA-PANG* OW! tha hell!? Faye: (picks up mallet that nailed Slim. It has a note attached to it) Please don't use jokes from our good MSTs to do your bad ones. Love Peter S.? (dinner time, tenchi and the gang are all sitting around the dinner table getting ready fora fabulous feast prepared by sasami) Tsunami: Does this author even care about capitalization? Spike: (taking another puff of his cig) Obviously not. Biz: Well atleast he has the stereotypical beginnings of the story. Ya know...with Sasami cooking and never doing anything else. Tokimi: (on intercom) Oh she'll be doing alot in this...hehehehe.... All: 0_0; -----”gee, i wonder why washu hasn’t come down for dinner.” said yosho, in a slightly dissapointed voice. Buu: To stay out bad fic! Slim: Hope not. It'll be hard to make fun of her if she isn't in this thing. “i know, she’s been really busy lately,” said tenchi, “all cooped up in that dark cold lab. i could’ve sworn i heard several different people screeming in agonizing pain!” All: uh-oh.... Spike: And everyone is ok with hearing the screams? Slim: AIIIIIIEEEEE!!! Biz: What was that? Faye: Oh just someone's terrorfied scream....not important *yawn* Tsunami: Scream is spelled wrong. “oh, that was just me and aye--ow! ayeka that hurt!” screemed sasami. Tsunami: (balling up fists) The author better not be implying what I think! “uuhh, she doesn’t know what shes talking about, i think she has turets or something” “Sasami!, i thought i told you not to mention what we do every night after everyone goe’s to bed!” Ayeka whispered in sasami’s ear. All: 0_o; “oh, sorry Ayeka.” “thats okay, just don’t let anyone find out, i’d hate to think about how ten chi would react if he found out that i’m a-a-a child molester!” Spike: (Cig falls out of his mouth) WHAT!? Slim: Jesus fucking Christ! Their sisters! “its okay ayeka, your secrets safe with me.” Faye: No you should be telling your family so your pervert sister can be thrown in jail and you can seek psychiatric help. (Enter volley of logs) Eh? KRRRZAAAPAPAPAPAPA!! All: (charred) ...ow.... (flash-back) Spike, Slim, Biz: ( a la Wayne's World) Doodley dooo doodley dooo!!! “Ayeka.” “what is it sasami” Biz: (Sasami) I think the question mark ran away because of this fic. Faye: (Ayeka) Yes. We should follow its example. ”today while i was picking carrots, a group of boy’s about my age surrounded me and ripped off all my clothes and started feeling feeling my-my private area’s. I screemed and told them to stop but they wouldn’t! i was really scared and i didn’t know what to do!they hurt me really really badly.” Tsunami: (Bob from Reboot) This....is bad.... Slim: Boys? I thought the lived on a fucking island! How and why would these boys go outta their way to try and rape a girl? ”show me where they hurt you.” Tsunami: I sense a great disturbance in the force. Faye: PLEASE don't show her!! “o-okay” sasami replied in a trembling voice. All: -_- Spike: And somewhere the Sailor Scouts are cringing with disgust. “eww!” ayeka replied in a discusted voice. “what exactly did they put inside of, well you? Tsunami: Disgusting its spelled with a 'g' not 'c' you FOOL!! Spike: Tsunami my dear, trying to get the point of proper spelling across to the author of this lemon is like trying to bash your head agianst a brick wall. Sure its amusing at first but eventually you get a headache. “they put these weird stick looking things attached to themselves into me.” All: .......... Buu: Me not think Sasami that naive! Faye: And where was the rest of the Tenchi clan during this, hm? “here, let me clean you up” said ayeka. Tsunami: (annoyed) Well it seems this author has given up on the whole capitalization concept. Slim: Is anyone else not liking where this is going? (All nod) Biz: Heehee....hasn't got laid in 800 years. No wonder she's so uptight! (Enter volley of logs.....agian) *KAZZZZAPAPAPAPAPAAAAAZAP!!* Others: (charred) BIZARRE!! Ladies: (whince crossing their legs) AAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!! Spike: (lighting up another cig) Be calm, Spikey boy. You were a member of the Red Dragons. You killed for a living. This can't get to you. “oo ayeka please stop! it hurts! it hurts!”sasami sceemed. “shutup you little bitch this will only take a second!” ayeka exclaimed. But deep down ayeka knew that it wouldn’t take a second,she was gonna keep doing this untill she didn’t know when. Slim: I don't know why but I feel this is all Washu's fault! Biz: YEAH! Ain't the bitch a genius? She always knows what's going on! She should of stopped this bullshit! Tsunami: (sobbing) Oh my dear sister. How could you not come to Sasami's aid? (In some unknown part of the ship Tokimi watches.) Tokimi: It seems that the fic is beginning to take affect. Their hatred for Washu grows and it'll be only a matter of time before the harvest enough to lure Washu into my little trap!! (put her right pinky up to the corner of her lips and laughs Dr. Evil stlye) MWAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! “please ayeka stop!” “there! all better” ayeka said as she smirked. “I’m gonna rape you sasami!” said ayeka with anevil look in her eye. Faye: SHE'S GONNA WHAT!? “your gonna what!?” asked sasami more confused and scared than she’s ever been. All: 0_0; WE'RE ALL SCARED AND CONFUSED!!! All: NOOOOOO!! Spike and Slim: (fire their guns at the screen) Faye: (has pulled out several hand gernades. Not even the author of this MST knows exactly how she hid then in that skimpy outfit) Buu and Tsunami: (fire their respected ki blasts) (The screen explodes into flames and when the dust settles the screen is not only still there, but not even scratched.) Tokimi: (intercom) Ha! You can thank Washu for the indestructable screen! I got the idea from her! All: ARRRGH!! Slim: That bitch has managed to screw us agian!! ayeka slapped sasami in the face and told her to shut up or she’d bring the whip out. ayeka put in another 3 inches. sasami screemed so loud that it hurt ayekas ears. All: (covering their ears) Slim: Damn surround sound!! Tsunami: I shall find some way to escape and when I do I shall punish this author severly! “thats it!” she screemed, “after i’m done ass fucking you i’m gonna lash you! you little bitch!” Spike: Yeah I'd like to lash the moron who wrote this. Slim: Nah, he'd probably get off on it. Faye: How disgusting.....yet very true. -_-; All: GAH!! Tsunami: Can't...go...on....horrible.....punctuation.....pitiful spelling....feeling weaker... Spike: Seems like Tsunami's weakness is bad fan fiction. Faye: I think its everyones weakness...urp... “okay little sister, i think thats enough for tonight. i’m gonna release you now,but if you dare tell anyone ESPECIALLY Tenchi, i will rape you ten timesharder. Do you understand!?” Slim: I understand that Ayeka is a pedo super bitch! (enter twice as many logs as before) *KAZAKAZAKAZAKAZAKAZAKAAAAAAZAP!!!* All: (charred except Tsunami who's in energy barrier) owie.... Tsunami: Serves you right. Ayeka isn't really like this. The author has defiled her good name! I must find some way to exact proper justice on this author. Faye: HA! She sounds like Spike after he got his ass handed to him by that Pierre nut! Spike: Hmph! I think I faired pretty well agianst a genetically engineered psycho! Besides, if I recall he left you with your ass in the air. Biz: And what a fine ass it-*WHAM!* (out cold) Faye: Thanks! Buu: ^_^ (preasent time: Washu’s lab) Tsunami: How sad. He can't even spell present. There all gonna pay, every last one of them! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Slim: Let me guess. The short bitch is gonna rape the whole lot of them. Tokimi: (intercom) HEY! Have you read this before? Others: o_0; to be continued... All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! i’m sure i probably took a lot of you by suprise with the whole ayeka raping and torchering her little sister , and i’m sure your all curious as to what Washu Slim: (geezer) EVIL! (hit by mallet...agian) *ZLONG!!* ( my dream goddess) has in store for tenchi and the others. It will all be revealed in my next fics! i am open to comments,questions negetive orpositive, i love em all!!!!! Faye: Not as much as I'm gonna love taking this here gernade and shoving it up that pedo ass of yours! Spike: For once I'm in agreement with her. (All exit the theater and return to the lobby, except for Bizarre. He's still out cold.) Slim: That wasn't really that bad. Tsunami: NOT THAT BAD!? Spike: I agree. The spelling and run-ons were so frequent that it softened the shock value of the story. (Tokimi appears in all her glory.) Tokimi: So I see you managed to keep your sanity. Faye: Yeah we're still here. Slim: Aren't we suppose to be riffing Washu? She was barely mentioned in this shit. Tokimi: Oh did I forget to tell you that this story has eight more chapters. Others: WHAT!?! Tokimi: And their all starring Washu and Sasami! Others: NOOOO!! Tokimi: I've also decided to keep Spike and Faye here indefinately. They seem to mix well with the rest of you. Spike and Faye: NOOOO!!! Tokimi: So rest up. The next part will be here......very soon. (vanishes, laughing) Spike: I can't believe this!! Faye: Another story!? That's it! The next person to get on my nerves shall be beaten serverly! (Bizarre stagger in) Biz: What's the deal? What I miss? *WHAM!!BLAMBLAM!!KA-POW!!* Faye: I feel much better. (Walks into kitchen) Buu: (heading for entertainment room) Slim-boy! Best eight out ten! Slim: Your on! I think this one came out a little better than the first don't you? All the characters in this MST don't belong to me, but you probably already knew that. As for the story Erotic Torture Chamber (A/N: Though there is nothing really erotic about it) it belongs to James Padilla. He made it not me....go kill him! Yes I plan to MST the rest of his E.T.C series, sadly so, but every good MST group needs an arch-nemesis. Some have the Phucknut, others have Tank Cop, and it seems I have found mine.