The characters in the following MST are not mine, and appear without 
permission. Both Alan Schezar and Zechs Merquise are the property of 
Sunrise. Funimation, I believe, owns Vegeta. I don’t know who owns Ryga 
(Tiger) of the Wind, but he is from the Monster Farmer (Rancher) series, and 
is owned by whichever company licenses it. Please don’t sue. I’m not making 
any money on this. On an added note, Brian Drummond is a private citizen, 
and I am a big fan of his work.

So let the MST begin:

Through the darkness of space, a rather massive starship, the U.S.S. Brian 
Drummond, slipped through the void like a shark through the ocean. A 
mysterious figure sits at the helm of the ship.
He chuckles maliciously as he selects his victims...er...crew.
Sound Off:

Alan Schezar: The ladies man
Zechs Merquise: The mysterious one
Prince Vegeta: The crazy  one
Ryga of the Wind: The angry one

The are assembled on the observation deck of the Brian Drummond, where the 
mysterious captain reveals himself.
“Oh no, not you!” Vegeta moans.
“You know him?” asks Alan.
“He’s Weber-san, author of various Tenchi Muyo fanfics! Most of which make 
no sense!”
“Silence, Saiya-jin!” Weber-san demands, “You may be a prince where you come 
from, but on this ship, I’m in command. Besides, all I have to do is give 
the word, and you can be sent home.”
“Do it now, or I’ll fry you.”
“You forget one thing, Vegeta-san. My existence means nothing to me. So 
shoot, see if I care.”
“Damn it! It’s no fun sending someone to another....Curse you, you blasted 
censors!”
“I’ll make a deal with you, Vegeta,” Weber-san smiled, “I’ll remove the 
censor’s curse while you are on this ship, if you agree to serve as an MST 
viewer.”
“Deal.”
“Tell me we aren’t MSTing any Lemons,” Alan said, “I can’t bear to see 
that.”
“Relax. You’re all still new to this, so we’ll leave the Lemons to the more 
professional MSTers...for now.”
“Then what are we reviewing?” Zechs asked.
“A Tenchi Muyo/Pokemon Crossover.”
“Oh God, kill me now!” Ryga screamed.
“So without further ado...”

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Pallet Town...

	By Cabbit Lover

Alan: Cabbit Love?
Zechs: It’s probably better if we don’t ask.
Vegeta: Hentai freaks, the pair of you.
Ryga: Humans...

NOTES: Tenchi Muyo! and related characters are the legal property of
Pioneer.  Pokemon and related persons, places, and things are the property
of Kids' WB! and some Japanese company whose name I can't remember.
Consider this story out-of-continuity.

Ryga: Well, that goes without saying.
Zechs: Shhh.

	It was a typical day at the Masaki household:

Vegeta: Tenchi was wussing out
Zechs: Ryoko was engaging in tactical discussions with Ayeka
Alan: Sasami was being overworked by a cruel and unfeeling world.
Ryga: And the poor cabbit was used and abused by the humans.
Alan: Not all of us abuse animals, you know.
Ryga: True. Some of you get eaten.
Zechs: Don’t you travel with a couple of kids?
Ryga: ....
Zechs: I thought so.


Tenchi was practicing
swordsmanship with Yosho, Ayeka and Ryoko were fighting over Tenchi,
Sasami was playing with Ryo-ohki, Kiyone was resisting the urge to kill
Mihoshi, and, of course, Washu was tinkering in her lab.  This time she was
working on a strange device.

Alan: When isn’t one of Washu’s inventions strange?
Vegeta: I dated a genius once. Nothing but trouble, I tell you.

	"Now, let's see," she said thoughtfully.  "The interocetor rods go
here, the trionic destabilizers go this way..."  Finally, she stood before 
the
finished device, which was basically a large screen attached to a bizarre
intermixture of electromechanical odds and ends.

Zechs: Washu is pirating cable?
Vegeta: Maybe we can watch what she’s watching, and not this.

	"There!" she beamed happily.  "Now to turn this baby on."  She
flicked a switch on the device, and a second later, the screen glowed.
	"Success!" crowed the mad genius.  "Now to take it out for a test
drive."

Alan: But it only gets 20 miles to the gallon.
Ryga: You know, Genki told me once that television rots your brain.
Zechs: Now that you mention it, didn’t the same actress who did Sasami voice 
Genki?
Alan: So was Lucretzia Noin, if I recall correctly.
Vegeta: Blue haired women are nothing but trouble, I tell you. Look at that 
Ayanami chick. She destroyed a whole world!
Ryga: Only because Shinji wanted her to.


	Soon, she had Tenchi, Ryoko, Sasami and Ryo-ohki, Ayeka, and
Mihoshi in the lab, standing before the device.

Vegeta: Oh GOD! Mihoshi is in the lab!
Alan: This can’t affect us, can it?
Weber-san(on speakers): The room is shielded. Still, this IS Mihoshi we’re 
talking about.

	"You brought us into your lab just so we could watch TV?" wondered
the ditzy Galaxy Policewoman.  Then she smiled.  "So, what are we gonna
watch?"

Alan: Well, I know this great show...
Zechs: No self-promotions, twerp.
Alan: Howsabout I promote you, and you promote me.

	Washu put a palm to her forehead, groaning.  Exposure to Mihoshi's
stupidity always gave Washu such a headache.

Ryga: We feel your pain, Washu-chan.

  Collecting hrself, Washu
calmly stated, "It's not a television, Mihoshi."

Vegeta(as Washu): It’s the latest in home shopping!

She demonstrated by
putting her arm through the screen.  "See?"
	"Wow!" exclaimed Sasami.
	"That's some kind of gateway to another universe or something, isn't
it?" asked Tenchi.

Vegeta: Hey, when did he grow a brain?
Alan: It’s not like he’s Mihoshi.
Zechs: True enough there.

	"Very good, Tenchi," said Washu, smiling at Tenchi like a teacher
approving of a student's insightful answer to a question.  "I just put this
little doohickey together.  No big problem for a super-genius like me."
	"If those damn puppets pop out," whispered Ryoko to Ayeka, "get out
the blunt objects."  Ayeka frowned and nodded, agreeing for once with
Ryoko.

Zechs: When those two agree on anything, you know it’s bad.
Ryga: I thought they all agreed that Sasami could cook.
Alan: Which is why the poor dear is always in the kitchen.

	"So why'd you do it, anyway?" asked Tenchi.
	"Oh," said Washu nonchalantly, "just out of boredom, to see if it
could be done."

All:....0_0

  Then she smiled some more.  "I've found a great world to
try it out on!"
	"Wow!" smiled Sasami.  "You mean we're gonna go to some whole
new world?"
	"Yep!" said Washu mischievously.
	"Oh, boy!" squealed Sasami excitedly.  "We're gonna go someplace
fun!"  And before anyone could stop her, she ran toward the screen, into it,
and through it into the other dimension!

Zechs: Hmmm. Usually, I would expect this level of stupidity from Mihoshi.
Alan: See. The girl is obviously overworked. She saw a door to freedom, and 
she bolted.

	"Sasami!  Wait!" screamed a concerned Ayeka as she leaped in after
her sister, followed by Ryo-ohki.
	"Ayeka, wait!" shouted Mihoshi and Tenchi simultaneously, stupidly
running through the screen as well in their panic.
	"We gotta go after them, don't we?" asked Ryoko.
	"Yeah, they might get hurt," agreed Washu.  She grabbed something
that looked like the remote control for the "TV".  "We'll need this to get
back."

Alan: I smell a plot device.

	"And we'll need this," said Ryoko, "so Tenchi's dad and grandpa don't
freak."  She hung a sign on the door to Washu's lab saying:
	" Gone to parallel universe.  Be back in 5 minutes."

All...0_0

	Meanwhile, in that other universe, Ash Ketchum, his friends Brock
and Misty, and their respective Pokemon were walking to Pallet Town
when they encountered something very unusual...

Alan: Oh look, its a new Pokemon!
Zechs: Be sure to collect ‘em all kids.
Vegeta: I control Mewtwo. Let any who dare challenge me!
Ryga: My game and show are better...

	"Hey, what's that?" inquired Brock.

Alan: It’s an all you can eat restaurant.

	"That" was a large, glowing rectangle.  It was also (though of course
none of them knew it) the other end of Washu's dimensional transporter.
	"I don't know, Brock," shrugged Misty.
	"Pika?" said Pikachu curiously.
	"Togepi?" wondered Togepi as well.
	"Maybe if I touch it..." wondered Ash.  He walked up to the glowing
rectangle, reached out...

Alan: Now Ash I could believe capable of this level of stupidity.
Zechs: Oh come off it. You’ve never seen an episode.
Vegeta: I have. Trust me. Avoid it.
Ryga: Right. Watch my show. Better redub.

	And got head-banged by Sasami as she and Ryo-ohki came flying out
of the gate.  He wasn't much luckier a few seconds later, as he became the
landing pad for Aeka, Tenchi and Mihoshi, and then Washu and Ryoko.  *I
wonder if this is how Team Rocket feels when they "blast off"?* was his
last conscious thought before he blacked out.

Vegeta: SNORT.
Alan: Hey, weren’t they spelling it “Ayeka” earlier.

	He recovered a few minutes later.  "Hey, where am I?" he wondered.
"What happened?"

Zechs: Well, you just got crushed by six women and a loser who can’t decide 
if he loves the purple haired dominatrix, or the grey haired harridan.

	"Sorry," said Sasami.  On the spot where she and Ash had clonged
cabezas was a bandaged strip of gauze.  Ash felt his own head and found a
similar bandage.

Vegeta: Am I the only one who finds that image...nauseating.
Others: No.

	"Hey, now I remember!" he realized.  "You're that little girl who
came out of that glowing rectangle!"

Ryga (as Sasami): Yes. I was chasing a cabbit down it’s hole. There aren’t 
any axe wielding queens about, are there?

	"Yeah," admitted Sasami.  "Sorry about flying into you like that."
	Then she looked around.  "Hey, where Ryo-ohki?"

Vegeta: Now, as the Prince of Saiya-jin, and a resident of Japan, my english 
may not be too good, but I’m fairly sure that should be “Where’s Ryo-Ohki,” 
not “where Ryo-Ohki.”

	"Is that what you call that new Pokemon?" asked Misty.  "Pretty
weird name...I thought it was called a OMya-Mya', or something.  Anyway, to
answer your question, it's over there."
	There the little cabbit was, all right, playing with Pikachu, Togepi,
Squirtle, and all the other Pokemon.  Sasami squealed with delight at the
sight of all those cute little creatures.

Zechs: I’m squealing as the sugar levels rise to intolerable levels. 
Insulin, please!
Vegeta: It’s coming, it’s coming.

	"Aren't they CU-U-UTE?" squealed Mihoshi.  Ash immediately took
out his Pokedex to make sure the glass wasn't broken by Mihoshi's high-
pitched squeak.  Seeing that it was safe, he aimed the Pokedex at Ryo-
ohki.
	"Unidentified Pokemon...Correction: Subject is non-organic."
	"Non-organic?" wondered Ash.  "How can that *be?*  Even Onix and
Golem are organic creatures!"

Ryga: Actually, Golem is a big rock, and he has this ability to come apart.
Zechs: Wrong Golem, pal.
Ryga: Oh.

	"YouOd have to ask Washu about that, uhhh..." said Tenchi.
	"Ash," said Ash, catching Tenchi's obvious request for his name.
"Ash Ketchum."
	"Tenchi Masaki," said Tenchi.  They shook hands.
	Speaking of Washu, she was engaged, along with Ayeka and Ryoko, in
beating the living crap out of Brock, who'd tried to hit on all three of
them.

All:...^_^.


	Meanwhile, Team Rocket was watching from hiding.  They were
especially interested in Ryo-ohki, the cute furry thing.

Zechs: Question. How did THEY know it was called Ryo-Ohki?
Alan: Don’t ask questions. You might get an answer.

	"Ohhh, isn't it cuuute?" squealed Jessie.
	"Even for a Pokemon, it's adorable!" cried James.
	"Meowth!  Awww!" cooed Meowth.

Vegeta: Vomit bags for all!

	Sasami was in the midst of all the Pokemania.  Even if Ryo-ohki
hadn't been there, she was drowning in cuteness, and the little Pokemon
were happy to oblige in playing with the little princess.

Alan: Well, some of them are kinda cute.
Vegeta: I make it a point to kill cute when I see it.
Zechs: You haven’t, I noticed, threatened Sasami yet.
Vegeta: She’s not cute. She’s kawaii. There’s a difference. Besides, she has 
a Goddess watching her back.
Ryga: Admit it. You’re just sweet on her because she has blue hair.
Vegeta: Actually, I was just thinking that she could have been my daughter. 
But Misaki decided to marry that Azuza jerk instead.

	Meanwhile, Tenchi and the others were reporting their findings.  "It
seems these creatures are called Pokemon," Tenchi explained.  "Every
human on this planet seems nuts about collecting them, for some reason.
They even put them in tournaments and stuff!"
	"It sounds like it'd be interesting to more fully observe this planet's
culture," decided Washu.  "I mean, is it all they do, or -- "
	"Don't knock it till you've tried it, sister!" shouted a female voice.
	"What the...?" asked Tenchi and company.
	Suddenly two characters leaped from the trees, a blue-haired man
and a redhead.  They both wore a uniform composed of a white shirt with a
red capital "R", a black undershirt, white pants, black boots and black
gloves.  The woman's uniform looked a little slutty.

Vegeta: ACK! It’s the Red Ribbon Army. Run! Run!
Zechs: Will you relax. It’s just those Team Rocket losers.
Alan: You talk like you know how to fight.
Zechs: Bring it on, pretty boy.

Alan gets into Scheherazade, and begins to menace Zechs. Zechs summons 
Epyon, and climbs in. Due to an obvious size problem, Alan quickly concedes.

	"To protect the world from devastation!" crowed the woman.
	"To unite all peoples within our nation!" announced the man in a
snobbish-sounding accent.
	"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
	"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
	"Jessie!"
	"James!"
	"Team Rocket!  Blast off at the speed of light!"
	"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
	A catlike Pokemon jumped down and added, "Meowth!  That's right!"

Ryga: You know, I think I’d prefer enemies like this.
Vegeta: Why?
Ryga: Most of my enemies are slime based. It really stinks when I zap ‘em.

	"Aww, man..." groaned Ash.
	"Not *these* losers, not *now*..." whined Misty.
	"Why can't they leave us alone?" moaned Brock.
	Their Pokemon made similar noises of complaint and annoyance.
	The Tenchi crew took one look at the badly-dressed Team Rocket and
keeled over with laughter.  "Wh...whoo...ha ha...who the *hell* are *you*
guys?" asked Ryoko.

Zechs: Well, at least she’s in character.

	Team Rocket grew sweatdrops on all three foreheads.  "Weren't you
*listening?*" demanded Jessie.  "We're Team Rocket!"
	"And we want that new Pokemon!" ordered James.
	"So give it up," threatened Meowth, "if you know what's good for
you!"
	"ONew Pokemon'?" wondered everyone.
	"They must mean Ryo-ohki," deduced Tenchi.

Alan: And once again, Tenchi proves he has a brain.
Vegeta: Yes. Now if only he’d use it once in awhile.

	The Tenchi crew fell down laughing again.  "You...you...you clowns!"
Ryoko howled with laughter.  "Ryo-ohki's *not* a Pokemon!  She's not even
from this dimension!"
	"ONot from this dimension'?"  Now it was Team Rocket's turn to be
bewildered.  "HUH?"

Ryga: Like they aren’t always bewildered?
Vegeta: Smile and nod, Ryga.

	*"Idiots!"* shouted James.  "Do you think you can fool us *that*
easily?  *We* know a Pokemon when we see it!"
	"And when we see it," added Jessie, "we *want* it!"
	"Meowth!  So hand it over!" Meowth threatened again.
	"*No way*, Team Rocket!" said Ash.  "Pokemon or not, Ryo-ohki
belongs to our friends!"
	"And you can't take her away from them!" added Misty.

Zechs: I would have expected a protest from Sasami long ago.
Alan: Maybe she’s still laughing at them, and didn’t catch what they said.
Ryga: I know I would still be laughing at them.
Vegeta: I still AM.

	"Yeah!" finished Brock.  "Why don't you go back to whatever rock you
crawled out from under?"  He said that mostly to look tough in front of
the girls.
	"Oh, so it's you again!" said an unimpressed Jessie.  "Hmph!!"
	"If you're so hot on protecting your Ofriends', Ash," warned James,
"you'll have to fight us!"
	He whipped out a Poke-Ball.  "I choose...*Koffing!*"
	"I choose..." began Misty.  But Ryoko clapped a hand over her mouth,
at the same time grabbing Misty's arm before she could pitch the Poke-
Ball.

Alan: She’s pretty hands-on, isn’t she.
Vegeta: Wouldn’t YOU like to know.
Zechs: Like you do.
Vegeta: Hey. I’ve been around the galaxy once or twice. People like me and 
her, we hang out in the same places.
Zechs: Remind me to ask her when this is over.

	"No, Misty!" ordered Ryoko.  "If *they're* going to think Ryo-ohki's a
Pokemon, *I'm* going to *use* her for one!"
	Misty stared at Ryoko hesitantly.  Then she said, "Oh-*kayyy...*"
	Ryoko whipped out Ryo-ohki.  "Ahem...I choose *Ryo-ohki!*"
	"Koffing, use your Smoke Screen, *now!*" ordered James.  "Your
biggest yet!"
	Koffing hoarsely called out its name as it spurted out clouds of
smoke.  James' plan was to sneak up on Ryoko and grab her pet OPokemon'
in the confusion.

Zechs: Ryoko, confused?
Others: Yeah. That’ll happen. NOT!

	*Oh, is THAT how this game is played?* thought Ryoko sneakily.  *I
thought so!*  Tossing Ryo-ohki into the air, she shouted, "*Ryo-ohki!*
Starship Transformation, *now!*"

Vegeta: My attacks have better names.
Ryga: Yeah. I’m living in mortal fear of the “Garlic Gun”
Vegeta: BIG BANG ATTACK!
Ryga (charred) : I stand corrected.

	Team Rocket was treated to the most awesome sight in its wicked
career: the sight of a baby cabbit morphing from its adorable, deceptively
weak form to that of a powerful alien spaceship!
	"Uhm....ahh..." said James as Team Rocket stared at the giant
spaceship.
	"Uh-oh," said Jessie.
	"We're dead," finished Meowth.
	Ryo-ohki transported her friends, new and old, into her new
spaceship form.  When they were inside, Ash commented, "Whoa!  We're
*inside* Ryo-ohki?!"

Vegeta: And that’s the only way HE’D be in...
Zechs: Vegeta, this isn’t a lemon. Keep it clean, huh?

	"That's right!" chirped Ryoko.  Then she commanded, "Ryo-ohki!
*Fire laser cannons!*"
	The cabbit-minded spaceship obeyed, opening up full-blast on Team
Rocket.  As the ground exploded underneath them, Team Rocket was
engulfed in a ball of fire which flew away from the site.  As they flew off
into the distance, they shouted, *"Looks like what's left of Team Rocket
is blasting off AGAIIIINNNN!!"*

All: 0_0

	Later, the two groups prepared to go their separate ways.  "But do
you guys *have* to go?" cried Ash.
	"Sorry, Ash," said Tenchi.  "This was good for a lark, but my dad and
grandfather are going to miss us."

Ryga: Actually, it’ll be the first quiet moment they’ve had in months.

	"And *we've*  gotta get going, too!" added Brock.  "We've got that
tournament in Pallet Town, remember?"
	"Say, that's *right!*" said Ash.  "Maybe I can give you something to
remember me by!  Let's see, my badges?  Anything in my pocket?"
	"As it just so happens," said Washu, "I've brought a camera!"
	The group got in front of the camera.
	"Say, Opolycarbonated neotriglycerides'!" grinned Washu.
	"Uhh, can we say Ocheese' instead?" asked Ash.
	"Whatever floats your boat," said Washu boredly.
	*"CHEESE!"* they all said, and the moment was captured on film.
	Finally, Washu and friends returned to their dimension, leaving Ash,
Misty and Brock to walk to Pallet Town.

	Ironically, Team Rocket had crash-landed at the town's hospital.  All
three were heavily bandaged, and Jessie was on the phone with Team
Rocket's boss.
	"So, you think you can foot the bill for plastic surgery?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I know...that lousy Ash Ketchum!" she muttered half to
herself.
	She looked down at her chest.  "Oh, *these?*  Oh, I think I'll give
them another year."

All: 0_0.

	THE END

Vegeta: Not TOO bad.
Zechs: It killed a half hour.
Ryga: The cabbit looked tasty.
Alan: I wouldn’t mind doing it again.
Weber-san: Oh, now that I’ve broken you in, I think I’ll introduce all of 
you to some...disturbing pieces later.
Zechs: What?
Weber-san: There are alot of Hentai out there who right disturbing things 
about Tenchi and Company, and it’s our duty to flambe them whenever we can. 
Except for that Tank Cop perv. Another writer declared exclusive rights on 
him.
Alan: You mean...
Vegeta: I suddenly wish I was still in HFIL.
Ryga: I thought the censorship was cancelled.
Vegeta: It is. But I kinda like the in-joke.

Until we MST again....