Standard Disclaimer: This is an MST fic. My first. you may not agree with my opinions. Frankly I don't care. You can't please all the people all the time. I do hope you enjoy the fic, thought. Tenchi Muyo, shin Tenchi Muyo, the tenchi characters Et al. Belong to Pioneer. So does Makoto. I'm not sure who Vegeta belongs to, but I'm sure he'd vehemently state that no one owns him but himself. Don't sue me. Questions and comments can be sent, As always, to Kenshi@myexcel.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An MST to Remember Somewhere in the vastness of space sits a cruiser. It's not Galaxy Police, or Space Pirate, Merchant or Military. The sleek hull reflects the light from passing stars and somewhere in the depths of this great cruiser sits a man. Gazing out at the passing stars, one can see this man, wearing black combat fatigues and boots, with his hair pulled back in a ponytail. He turns to greet a incoming call. "Yes?" The man's voice is pleasant. "Kenshi! It's the big one. Your first assignment. And BOY is it a stinker!" the voice comes tinny through the radio. "Very well, send it over. Who will be my help?" "That's your choice. You can use that dimensional thing that everyone else uses." "Oh, alright. Thank you." Kenshi turns to the "Dimensional Thingy that Everyone Else Uses" and starts fiddling with knobs and buttons. "Alright, let's see. Who shall I subject to this little fright fest. Ah yes. The ever popular "Prince of All Saiyans" Would be a good start." Said Prince, Vegeta materializes before him. "Oh, No, not another MST! Don't you people torture me enough!?" "Sorry, Vegeta, the kids love you." Kenshi smiles. "Oh, very well. But this better not be another Sasami lemon." "It isn't. I refuse, for the good of humanity. Now, let's see. Who's next. Ah, yes. We can't have a good, intelligent tear apart session without at least one genius. And since Washu would make things awkward.." The young warrior twists a few more knobs and a young man with bedraggled hair and a loose tie materializes. "Welcome, Makoto." "What the heck is this place? Did my dimensional portal finally work? Where am I?" "You're aboard the Lucky Strike. I'm your host Kenshi, and this man with the cutting edge hair is Vegeta." Kenshi's wit is answered by a glare from the Saiyan, as Makoto gawks outwardly at Vegeta. "And, last, but by no means least,  No party would be complete without a balancing super power..." He pushes the buttons a final time, and a familiar cyan haired lovely materializes. "Hey! Damn it, Tenchi was just about to give in, too!" "Welcome to the Lucky Strike, Ryoko." Vegeta looked at the space pirate incredulously, then turned his attention to Kenshi. "I thought you said it would be too awkward." "I changed my mind, " The young man quipped. "I'm allowed, it's my ship." Ryoko and Makoto looked at each other, and then at Kenshi. In unison came that question that ends all questions, "What are we doing here?" Vegeta smiled grimly as Kenshi donned a wicked grin. "You're here to help me MST a fanfic!" "OOOOH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The call of the doomed echoed throughout the ship. "Let's go!" Said Kenshi as he pressed the button marked "Theatre" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MSTRyoko: Alright, so what is this fic about? Kenshi: As I understand it, it's a combination that should never be mixed in natural forms. Makoto: I'm gonna die, aren't I? This is it.. Vegeta: Quiet, will you, it's about to start! *They all look at Vegeta* Vegeta: What? Ryoko meets Duck Dodgers *The title passes in complete silence* Vegeta: Okay, I'm done, can we go now? RyokoMST: Looney Tunes and Tenchi?? This is a travesty! Makoto: What's a Duck Dodger? Kenshi: I think I saw that on a Monty Python clip once. Makoto: What's a Monty Python? *Kenshi sweatdrops* It all started at the HQ, the hero of outer space has gotten a call from the Galaxy Police Force. They said it was very urgent. MSTRyoko: THE Hero of outer space, huh? Only one? Kenshi: Yeah, they started taking votes last week. GPF: Dodgers! It's urgent, VERY URGENT!! Some space pirate known as Nagi has landed on planet Earth ready to destroy Ryoko, who was supposed to be brought to jail, and also the ENTIRE PLANET!!!! *Vegeta looks over at Ryoko* Vegeta: I thought that Nagi was a bounty hunter..I thought YOU were the space pirate. *Ryoko franticly digs for her Union Card* MSTRyoko: I AM The space pirate!! Dodgers: And you want me to stop her? GPF: Can you do it?! Dodgers: Absolutley. Because, NOBODY knows their way around Earth like "DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24TH IN A 1/2 CENTURY"!!!!!!! In other words, I'm going down to Earth and stop this Nagi person. Oh, uhhhhhh....what about Ryoko? Makoto: 24th and a half, not in a half. And wouldn't that be 2350, then? MSTRyoko: Well, at least he's coming to save me. Vegeta: Have you noticed he's a duck? MSTRyoko: Well, at least he's coming to dinner. *Everyone looks at Ryoko, who slumps in her seat* GPF: WE'LL handle Ryoko. YOU handle Nagi. So, Duck Dodgers took his spaceship down to Earth and crashed near a shrine containing six women, a pussycat/bunnyrabbit-like creature, two men, and a handsome young man. MSTRyoko: Yeah, like we're ever anywhere at the same time. Tenchi: DYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! What the F was THAT?! Kenshi: It was a plot device! Sasami: It looks like a spaceship! Kenshi: Yeah, or that.. Ryo-oki: MeeeeeeeOOWWW! Ayeka: Oh, dear! Get that thing out of the lake! Makoto: And this concludes our Out of Character section of the fic. Vegeta: We should be so lucky. Mihoshi: Maybe it belongs to a galaxy police officer. Kiyone: Noooooo, a spaceship owned by a galaxy police officer has a more advanced design. It's obviously a SPACE PIRATE SHIP!! Washu: You're BOTH wrong! (MSTRyoko: OF COURSE YOU ARE!) I've seen that kind of ship before. It belongs to one of the greatest space heroes of all time. Ryoko: HA! Who does it belong to? Neil Armstrong?! Dodgers: No! It belongs to me! DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24TH IN A 1/2 CENTURY!!!!!! Makoto: The whole radiation effect around his head is kinda cool. *Vegeta Shifts to Super Saiyan* What's hard about that? *Makoto Blinks* Uhm..Nothing, I guess.. Tenchi: Duck Dodgers?! Makoto: See! He didn't know what a duck dodger was either! MSTRyoko: Naw, but he knows what a monty python is..*wistful look* *Crew looks at her* MSTRyoko: What? Ryoko: Washu, you're telling me...that one of the world's GREATEST space heroes....IS A DUCK?!?!?!?! MSTRyoko: You got that right, sister. Kenshi: At least he got one character right. Washu: Ummm..yeah....I guess so. Vegeta: How often does Washu guess about anything? Kenshi: How often would Washu proclaim that the greatest space hero was a duck? Dodgers: Excuse me, guys. Do you................ Ryoko: You guys don't get it, do you?!  He's just here to give out cheesy autographs and brag about his many victories against the most dangerous space villians. Dodgers: I think I was more interested in whether or not you guys knew where Nagi might be hiding. Ryoko: NAGI?! That dirty b(bleep)ch?!?! I don't know where she's hiding, but YOU'D BETTER DESTROY HER RIGHT NOW BEFORE I DESTROY YOU!!!!!!! MSTRyoko: I'm not that over the top, am I? *Sweatdrops all around* Dodgers: I can't do that unless I know where on this planet Nagi is. Washu: Perhaps I could help you, Dodgers. Vegeta: Into a nice roasting pot. Dodgers: YOU might know where Nagi is? GREAT! Tenchi: Oy yoy yoy. Ryoko: Oh, Tenchi poo.(MSTRyoko: *ignites her sword* TENCHI POO!? *others restrain her*) Protect me from Nagi and tell that crazy duck to go back in his spaceship and get lost. Ayeka: RYOKO!!! TENCHI'S MY HUNK-O-MAN!!!!!! *There's a ten minute pause while the crew stops to laugh at this last line* Kenshi: HUNK O MAN!? Vegeta: He's a hunk o something alright.. MSTRyoko: Watch it, blondie, that's my Tenchi you're talkin' about. Ryoko: There's something you should know. Ayeka's in kahoots with the duck. Dodgers: WHAT?! Ayeka: THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!! Tenchi: RYOKO, STOP TELLING ME LIES!!! DUCK DODGERS IS ONLY HERE TO STOP NAGI FROM DESTROYING THE WORLD!!! HE'S A SPACE HERO, NOT A SPACE PSYCHO!!!! MSTRyoko: I..uhm.. Kenshi: It gets better.. Washu: Ah-HA!! Nagi's hiding in Tenchi's dad's bedroom getting ready to sneak-attack us all! Vegeta: Tenchi's dad's bedroom? Does anyone else find that statement just..wrong somehow? MSTRyoko: Yeah. Tenchi's dad sleeps on the couch now. Makoto: I don't think that's what he meant.. MSTRyoko: What do you mean I..Oooohh..ew. Dodgers: A SNEAK-ATTACK?!?!?! Then, Nagi busts through the roof and onto the backporch. Vegeta: Oh That's Good, like THAT doesn't announce you coming a mile away. Kenshi: Hey, Vegeta, You could take some subtlty lessons from her.. Vegeta: *Grumbles* Nagi: So, Ryoko. We meet again. Ryoko: BRING IT ON, YOU BI.......... Dodgers: Step aside, Miss! Nagi's fight is with ME!!! RyokoMST: *gets googly eyed* My Hero! Vegeta: *Gets googly Eyed* In weird underwear! Kenshi: *gets Googly eyed* My Dinner! Makoto: *Gets googly eyed* In weird underwear! *Everyone turns to look at Makoto* Makoto: I...Erm...*blushes and turns back to the fic* Nagi: Well, if it isn't Duck Dodgers. Dodgers: In the friggin' feathery flesh!! Ryo-oki: MEOWWW!! *The others restrain Ryoko as she claws towards the screen* RyokoMST: IT'S SPELLED RYO-OHKI!!!! Nagi: That little pest wants to fight along YOUR side?! Vegeta: Why do the bad guys ALWAYS call Ryo-ohki a pest? Kenshi: Jealousy.. Makoto: *Official voice* No animals were harmed in writing of this fic. Except the Duck, who annoyed us. Dodgers: Is that true? Makoto: Would I lie? Ryo-oki (nods): Myow! Makoto: There, you see? Buckle up, ducky.. Kenshi: Hey, that was pretty good, Makoto.. Ryoko: HEY, HE CAN'T DO THAT!!! RYO-OKI'S MY SPACESHIP!!! Dodgers: Keep your pantyhose on, space pirate! After I'm done with Nagi, you and I can go head-to-head! RyokoMST: What are pantyhose? Vegeta: Remember that time you stuck the hose down Ayeka's shorts? RyokoMST: *giggles* Ryoko: FINE!!!! Kenshi: GOOD! Vegeta: GOOD! Kenshi: FINE! Nagi threw punches at Dodgers, but he kept avoiding every hit. Tenchi: He's not getting hit even once. Kenshi: And that never ever ever happens in the cartoons! Vegeta: That's right! Dodgers ALWAYS gets his ass kicked first! Washu: I guess that's why they call him Duck "Dodge"rs. Kenshi: No..they just didn't....::Screams at the screen:: WASHU LEAN OVER HERE SO I CAN SLAP YOU!! Vegeta: No no! Me first!! Mihoshi: I don't get it. Group: Big surprise. Kiyone: You don't get ANYTHING!! RyokoMST: Well THAT's not exactly true..hehehe. *rest of the crew sweatdrops* Sasami: How come Ryo-oki's not doing anything? Ryoko: HA! Looks like Ryo-oki's only screwing with Duck Dodgers! Ayeka: Ryoko, why can't you be more supportive?! Dodgers: Okay, Ryo-oki! Uhhhhhhhhh...........? Hey, kid. What can this creature do? Sasami: It can become a big spaceship and become a giant fighting robot. Kenshi: Oh PLEASE let this be any other continuity than Shin Tenchi Vegeta&Makoto: *Set up a small Shinto shrine and start praying* Dodgers: Y'mean like those Power Rangers' MegaZords? Kenshi: What in the hell? What sort of crap is this!? Vegeta: This just keeps getting weirder and weirder Sasami: Uhhhhhhhhhh, something like that. Ryo-oki turned into a giant fighting robot, allowing Dodgers to control it and crush Nagi. Then, Ryo-oki changed back. Kenshi: OH NO! It IS Shin Tenchi! That means Ryoko is going to be making weird faces! RyokoMST: Like this? *Makes her face go Super Deformed* Kenshi: Gah! Stop that! Dodgers: See? No one messes with DUCK DODGERS IN TH.................. Ryoko: Okay, Dodgers. Now it's MY turn to thrash you! RyokoMST: Alright! Finally it gets good! Dodgers quickly pulled out an Acme Distintigrating Pistol and disintigrated Ryoko. RyokoMST: *facefaults* WHAT! It took Kagato to put me down in the OVA and a Scrawny little DUCK does it now? *Others are stifling giggles* Dodgers: Well, my work here is done. Farewell. Vegeta: It's almost over, right? That means it's almost done?? Kenshi: Almost. Makoto: *seems to have gone catatonic at this point* Dodgers handed Tenchi an Acme Intigrating Pistol to intigrate Ryoko and took off. Ryoko: ALRIGHT, WHERE'S THAT DUCK?!?!?! Washu: He just left. Tenchi: Looks like you and him will have to your score some other time. Ryoko: BULLSH(bleep)T!!!! Will Duck Dodgers and Ryoko settle their score some time soon? Maybe. RyokoMST: God I hope not. THE END *Crew cheers* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After their ordeal, the members of the crew return to their rightful spots in the universe. Kenshi strode quietly into his office and sat down, typing his first log as an MST Captain. "Occasionally we find those fics that are in bad enough taste, grammar, or idea that we deem them 'Stinkers'. Then the few, the proud, the MST crews of the world step forward and take the mantle of the cause of making these 'stinkers' funny. Occasionally they even succeed. Wit is a subjective term, so is taste and humor. I'd like to thank the write of the original fic, for giving me fodder for this. I have only the utmost respect for anyone who puts their work in the public eye. I'd also like to thank my readers. This is Kenshi, Signing off."