Disclaimer:  I don't own Tenchi.  Tenchi is owned by Pioneer LDC and
AIC, and proper credit should be given to them for creating the Tenchi
gang and everything that happened with them.  Lately, I've begun to
pull away from Tenchi fan fiction, but I've decided to write a couple
little stories like this one, which are designed to be somewhat of an
original and different twist on the ways certain characters think.  I'd
like to thank Beautiful Mirage, Beagle-san, and Zelgabunny for
prereading this story.  Thanks, guys.


---
"Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body, but cannot kill the
soul.  Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both body and soul
in hell."
	- Matthew 10:28
---


	**********

MORNING LIGHT, DYING LIFE
Haunted

	**********



There are times where I think back to everything that has happened, and
I just wonder.  Was this a mistake?  Did I make some sort of fatal flaw in
my attempt to do something right?

I am a goddess.  I am supposed to do things that are right.

But somewhere along the way... I think I misjudged.

I took what I considered to be right, and went ahead with it, without
thinking or considering the consequences.  That was a mistake.  And
now... now I can't take it back.

Sasami...

Was saving your life the right thing to do?

By rekindling the dying embers that was your life... did I do the right
thing?

True, you must be happy.  You must be so happy to be with those that you
love.  You must rejoice everyday in the memory that you are alive, and
there is nothing for you to fear.

But...

...what about me?

I saved you from death.  The gentle hand of the mistress of death had
taken yours, and had begun to guide you away.  It was only by my
influence did she let go of your hand and allow you to awaken into
realms of light.

It seemed right.  It seemed that it was the right thing to do.

I wanted the best for you.  Because I loved you.  So I saved you.

I became you.

I still don't think I did the right thing.

I made *you* happy... but...

...what about me?

Is my happiness to sit here, in the darkness of this ship, while
another part of me runs free and is happy with those that she loves?
While she forgets all about me?  While by my sacrifice, I allowed a
being that meant nothing to me to continue to exist, and I am the
one that had to suffer from it?  Is this what my happiness is supposed
to be?

...I think that...

...no.  I still love you, Sasami.  I'm happy that you are happy.  That
makes me happy.

...No!

I can't lie!  Not to you, who is myself!  I'm not happy!  How could
I be happy?  Living in absolute darkness at *your* beck and call,
when I once had so much more?  I am gone from everyone that I once
loved, simply so I could watch you grow into *me*, so *I* could be
forgotten?

Did you ever stop to think, Sasami?

Did you ever stop to think that maybe *I* am more frightened than you
are about the day that we will become of one body and one mind?

You will lose yourself.  That is your fear.  You know that they will
still love you, but you are afraid that they won't love you for
being *you*.

But what about me?

They will love you for being you.  *No one* has *ever* loved me,
Sasami!  Now, not only will I not be loved, I will be *forgotten*!
To be forgotten is *worse* than death!

...why am I so selfish?

I'm... I'm a goddess...

I shouldn't think like this.

...I'm incomplete.

That is why.  I am no longer simply a "goddess".  I am also a flawed
being known as "Sasami".  That is where these thoughts are coming from.
Fear.  Selfishness.  Anger.

Sasami... you gave me these...

I gave you everything, Sasami!  I gave you life!  What is it that you
have given me?

...I... truly am...

...haunted.  I am haunted by this girl.  This girl named Sasami.

She is me.  She is the one that is alive.  I am merely her reflection.
One would think that it is *I* that haunts her... but even though it was
*I* who came first...

...she was favored among everything.

I am haunted.  She is the light, and I am the darkness.  She is the
brilliance that breaks into the dawn every morning, bringing everyone
their precious "Sasami", letting them experience her love, and love
her back.  I am merely the night.

Alone.  Awake.  Yet exhausted I lie...

I hate the morning light.  I hate being haunted.

I hate...



__________
end





Author's Notes:  Okay, okay.  Before all of you Tsunami enthusiasts
and Sasami fanboys come at me with rusty pitchforks and shit, listen.
This was written just to see what it was like.  Granted, this isn't
*likely*, but who's to say it's not possible?  I'm a firm supporter
of the exploration of every possible angle with fan fiction.  So I
took the question "What if Tsunami hated Sasami?", and tried it out.
After all, it's not like Tsunami EVER SAYS she loves Sasami, right?
Anyways, I hope you liked this.  If you didn't... well... them's the
breaks, as they say.  ^_^  Take care, everyone.


Thanks for reading!
Email: lateralus_metatron@hotmail.com
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