Out in space, on the far side of the moon, there is a small underground faculty which is home to volumes of horrible fanfictions written by authors of equal quality. Here, Chris Bozeman has been sentenced, for undiscussable reasons, to watch and review each fanfic. He is joined by several anime characters to help him in his task. Now, to introduce the MSTers for this session. Chris Bozeman: The semi-insane guy who's stuck here. A.K.A me. Edward: The oddly enigmatic person from Cowboy Bebop. I say person because it's gender is somewhat ambigous. A bit on the childish side. Mihoshi: Yes, the bubble-headed blonde from Tenchi Muyo. Not much to explain here. Gene Starwind: The gunslinging bounty hunter/pilot from Outlaw Star. Special Guest: To be announced... Chris: Alright, everyone, since no one from the last session survive-I mean could make it here today, I'm going to have to go over a few things. Ed: Movies! Chris: Yes, Ed, movies. Anyways, the thing is, there was a slight um.accident in the theater a few days ago, so It's inoperable. Gene: So you mean we don't have to watch any dumb flicks? Chris: No, I never said that. In case something like that ever happened, I was supplied with a VCR and T.V. in order to continue the viewing. Ed: T.V! Ed watch T.V! Mihoshi: (raises her hand) Um I have a question. Who's the guest? Chris: Yea, Mihoshi you don't need to raise your hand. But today's guest is (looks at chart) Yosho. Mihoshi: Oh, honorable grandfather is here! Yosho: Hmm.yes. Mihoshi, I came here to bring you back home. Mihoshi: What, why? Yosho: It seems that with the absence of Noboyuki and Tenchi, Ryoko has gone mad trying to find Tenchi, and Ayeka is starting to act as dumb as you. Not to mention, with Noboyuki gone missing, you're our only source of income. Chris: Yea.ehehhe.isn't that.strange. ( steps to the side in order to cover up a door labeled 'corpses') well, I guess that's alright if she goes. I'm sure I can find someone to replace Mihoshi. Mihoshi: Thank you Chris, Bye! (Yosho and Mihoshi disappear) Gene: How bout you bring Sue here? Chris: You know Suzuka would kill you if she heard you call her that. Gene: Eh what're ya gonna do? Chris: Bring her here. ( types on a keyboard while Gene tries to convince Chris his suggestion was a joke. Suzuka appears) Suzuka: this is odd.. Ed: Sue! Sue! Sue! Suzuka: I hate that name, don't call me that! Ed: Ed knows that, silly! Suzuka: (notices Gene) oh great, you called me that name in front of her, didn't you? Gene: eep! Chris: Okay, enough. Let's get started. Oh, one more thing: this dumb VCR can only play incredibly short fics, so we'll be watching two today. With tha said, let's get started! (Puts a tape in and pushes 'play' on the VCR. The VCR starts stalling, so Chris kicks it. The tape starts) >Aeka Out of the Closet? Ed: Ed doesn't like where this is going. Gene: What a title. >matrixstyle@altavista.com Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, so please don't sue me. Chris: That sounds like my disclaimer, somewhat! I'm going to sue! >Tenchi woke up to the usual site of Ryoko's breast. Suzuka: What happened to the other one? Ed: Ed hate author person! Author person have bad spelling! >He wondered if Ryoko would ever lay off, but until then, he would have to get use to this site. Gene: This guy really doesn't know which spelling of 'sight' to use in this case, does he? >Eventually, he would enjoy this site, but right now he wasn't in the mood. So he pushed her giant tits of his face Ed: Tenchi person have tits on his face? All but Ed: eeewww... >and leaned up. Suddenly he felt a sucking on his cock, so he looked down. Suzuka: And saw Ryoko sucking on his male chicken. Gene: What? I thought she was sucking his dick! Chris: You idiot, that's not what cock always means! >But he didn't stop her, because he was enjoying it. After about an hour or two of this, he asked her to stop. "But Tenchi" she whind,"don't you like it?" she asked. "Yes, but I need to get up and get some breakfast". Ed: Ed hungry too! Gene: Shut up Ed! Chris: Usually, if she had been at it for an hour or two, Ayeka would've inspected why Tenchi wasn't coming down to breakfast and started a fight with Ryoko. > So they both got dressed and went down stairs, but what was before them was horrifing. Aeka was fucking Misaki on the table. All: ... Chris: So that's why she didn't come upstairs. Ed: AAAH! Ed no wanna see! Aieeee! (looks away) >Aeka was on the bottem saying" I'm the princess, bow down to me little pesant girl". " Looks like Aeka's a gay, which means your mine" sayed Gene: AHAHAHAHHA! This author's a loser and an idiot! He can't even spell 'said' right! >Ryoko as she was stripping off her clothes. " Live little tenchi live" said Ryoko, and so a giant stick popped into her tight skin. Then Tenchi realized what he was doig and ran into his room and hid under his bed for a day and a half. Suzuka: Actually, that ending was a bit funny.. >No Need For an Exclamation Mark! by Mark Doherty (mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au) (The tape stops. Chris hits 'eject' and pops in another tape.) >In a mad scientist's transdimensional lab... "Ano... Washu-chan..." "Yes, Mihoshi?" "Why am I tied up like this?" Chris: Wow, I'm glad Mihoshi left, or else she'd be upset. >Washu grinned as she straightened the cap of her nurse's outfit. "The way you can pop up in a secure lab, the way you do _everything_ wrong but things still turn out right, the way you've survived for as long as you have without enough brain cells to rub together to start a fire... All: Hahahahahha! Ed: Washu person speak truth! >there has to be a reason you're so braindead lucky. And I'm going to find out what it is. Some sort of power like Tenchi's? Perhaps you're the culmination of an experiment in an ultimate weapon bio-form, Chris: That'd be scary if it were true. Suzuka: Which, having power like Tenchi's, or being a bio-weapon? Chris: Both. All: (shudder) >designed to be activated when the people who made you lost, like a doomsday device. Oh well, we can have fun finding out together." "Washu-chan... what are you doing?" "Just getting a few samples. I always did prefer the hands on approach." Gene: Hehe.. >"N...now now, Washu-chan. I don't think... uh... I don't think you should..." "Nonsense. I am a doctor, you know. Sure, I picked up the degree on a bet over ten thousand years ago, but what the hey. Say, are those panties standard Galactic Police issue?" Ed: Ed wear spandex! Chris: Um... >"Wa... Washu! Stop... stop this right now! This i... is wrong! You must... oh... a little to the left, a little to the left." Suzuka (as Mihoshi): There, that's the spot. Boy Washu, I though you were going to do something gross to me but all you wanted to do was scratch that spot on my back I can't reach! You're so nice! Gene: We wish it were that simple. >+++ Everyone was gathered around the dinner table. Chris: Were they watching this, or something? >"So anyway," Washu continued her explanation to her shock-frozen audience, "one thing led to another. And, well..." Mihoshi giggled, holding up her hand to show the engagement ring. "It's an Earth custom, but we couldn't resist." All: !!!!!!! >Ryoko looked between the happy couple, and then took a slug of sake from the bottle in her numb hand. When Aeka wordlessly held out her hand, the demon-girl silently handed the bottle to her. Aeka chugged the bottle, before giving it back. Suzuka: Have I seen that somewhere before? In the actual show? I can't remember.. >It wasn't so much Washu's surprise announcement, Ryoko decided as she brought out a second bottle. It was the contemplative glances that Sasami had been giving her for the last few minutes... All: !!!! Chris: That was scary.. Ed: Ed doesn't feel clean.. >++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Dedicated to anyone who's ever done an irrational, no-explanations- offered matchup fanfic. Chris: That was strange. Gene: Yea, well. Suzuka: Well, now to resolve the 'Sue' incident. Gene: AAAAAHH! No don-(is cut off when Suzuka cuts off his head.) Chris: Somone died! I'm content... Disclaimer: I do not own Suzuka, Gene, Ed, Yosho, or Mihoshi. I only own myself. No suing.