Alright, this is my first MST. Allow me to introduce the MSTers for this MST. Chris Bozeman: Take a few guesses as to who this is. If you can't figure it out, I'll have to tell you. It's me. Heero Yuy: The infamous pilot of the mobile suit Wing Zero form Gundam Wing. Noboyuki Masaki: He's probably one of the anime characters you'd guess wouldn't be in an MST group, but oh well. He's Tenchi Masaki's father, and he is from Tenchi Muyo! NOT ANY OF THE OTHER SERIES RELATED TO TENCHI! Vegeta: One of the most arrogant characters out of all of the DragonBall related series. Special Guest: to be announced. Out in space, on the far side of the moon, there is a small underground faculty which is home to volumes of horrible fanfictions written by authors of equal quality. Here, Chris Bozeman has been sentenced, for undiscussable reasons, to watch and review each fanfic. He is joined by three anime characters from various animes and one special guest. Now, on with the show. Vegeta: Tell me again why I must spend my valuable time with you pitiful weaklings?? Chris: Isn't it because you're a power-mad psycho? Vegeta: What is this?? (points to metal collar about his neck, then attempts to pull it off) Chris: I wouldn't try that. Vegeta: Fool! I could destroy you in a heartbeat! Chris: I thought about that. Which is why every time you do something I find offending, this will happen. (produces a small device with a single button, and proceeds to push it) Vegeta: ( Is apparently electrocuted) AAAAAGH! (falls over) Why do I feel weaker? Chris: I just drained some of your energy away. Heero: (eyes small device) hmm... Noboyuki: Why am I here? Chris: You thought this was a strip club. Noboyuki: oh yea. Heero: Who's the guest? Chris: um.. (looks at chart) ... apparently some freak named Hannibal Lector. Vegeta: (gets up) isn't he the guy who eats faces? Chris: Yup. Noboyuki: eew.. Hannibal: You know Mr. Masaki, I'm taking serious consideration into eating your wife. Noboyuki: She's dead. Hannibal: Damn. Chris: Anyways, lets get on with the fic. (Leads Noboyuki, Vegeta, and Heero through one doorway, but then goes back out and shoves Hannibal into a different room and shuts the door. The door is labeled "airlock". He pushes a few buttons, then watches as Hannibal is flung out the airlock inot space with a hiss.) There! (Goes into the other room and starts up the fic.) >****No Need for a Super Saiyan Vegeta: That's not true! Chris: Quiet Vegeta. >In the middle of nowhere, Tenchi finds him self training with Yosho. Yosho had just defeated him for the 25th time. Noboyuki: Wow, dad sure can beat up my son fast. Heero: Yes, if Tenchi had just found himself in the middle of nowhere, Yosho must have beaten him 25 times in one second. Chris: He is a Juraian knight. Heero: True. >Tenchi was on his back. "Ow, that hurts!" "Get up Tenchi. Are you resting?" "Grandfather, I can barely stand!" "Excuses, excuses. When will you learn that in a real battle, they don't let you lie on your back and rest? Get your ass off the ground." Chris: Since when do Juraian knights say ass? Noboyuki: Since when does dad say "excuses, excuses"? Vegeta: Since when are any characters in a crappy fanfiction in character? Chris: Touch‚. >Yosho helped Tenchi get up and took a swig of his canteen. Tenchi and Yosho fought again. Tenchi accidentally slammed his boken onto a huge rock because Yosho had dodged it. Vegeta: Canteen? Do they have those in Japan? Chris: I dunno, you tell me. Noboyuki: Tenchi and Yosho fought again. Tenchi accidentally slammed his boken onto a huge rock because Yosho had dodged it. Dodge Yosho, dodge. Yosho dodges fast. It's like a kids book. Heero: Noboyuki, shut up. Noboyuki: No. >Suddenly, the rock exploded! Noboyuki (as Spock): That is highly illogical. Chris (as Tenchi): Granpa, no more putting dynamite in the rocks! >"Wow, Tenchi, I didn't know you were that strong!" "Wow, I'm glad I didn't hit you grandpa." Vegeta (as Yosho): Wow, I'm in a perpetual state of amazement! Heero (as Tenchi): Wow, me too! >Suddenly, a hand stuck out of the rocks. Chris: AAH! They're going to eat us! >Tenchi jumped back. A boy with black hair got up out of the rocks. He wasn't even bleeding. He looked fine. A man with yellow hair came out of the air and landed. The man started to talk. "Trunks, how many times do I have to tell you, train with someone that is as good as you. I'm to strong for you." Vegeta: My son does not have black hair! Chris: How is it possible to come out of air? Heero: There's two o's in too! Dang you!! >The man noticed Tenchi and Yosho. Vegeta: And then blasted them into the next dimension. (laughs evilly) Noboyuki: You killed my son! >He asked them, "Who are you?" "My name is Tenchi and this is my grandfather Yosho." Vegeta (as Tenchi): I accept everything strange I see as if it were normal. >"Whatever. Why don't you fight this Tenchi guy, Trunks. I'm gonna go train with Kakarot." Heero (as Vegeta): I am nonchalant about everything because I have an ego the size of my hair! Vegeta: I resent that, so now you will DIE!! (blasts Heero through the wall and into space) Heero: (dies) Chris: ... Vegeta: What? No electrocution? Are you going soft, human? Chris: Don't push it, I only let that slide because I didn't like him. >He flew off. Trunks sat up. "This sucks." Tenchi helped him up to his feet, "Who is that mean guy?" "He's my dad. Whenever he becomes a Super Saiyan, he gets an attitude and is a bitch." Vegeta: (pouts) I am not a mean guy.. Chris: Hehe. Vegeta's a bitch. Vegeta: You will die!! ( starts powering up for an attack, but gets electrocuted and falls down dead) Noboyuki: (scoots down a seat from Chris) >"What is a Super Saiyan?" "A Super Saiyan is stage when a Saiyan becomes stronger and his or her hair turns yellow. I'd like to become a Super Saiyan." Noboyuki: Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't the Trunks from either timelines super saiyans? Chris: This is true. >"Wow, that's cool." Yosho stepped up, "Your planet Vegita was destroyed wasn't it?" "Yes, it was sir. How did you know?" Chris: (looks down at Vegeta's corpse) Hey Vegeta, aren't you named after your home planet? That's an incorrect spelling isn't it? Vegeta: (is dead) Chris: (smirks) I thought so. >"Tenchi and I are from space also. We are from the planet Jurai. Tenchi is part Saiyan." "WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!" Noboyuki: What?! Chris: Hmm.. (scribbles 'excessive use of exclamation points and question marks. Verdict: terminate' on his chart) >Tenchi and Trunks both looked at Yosho. "Tenchi, Noboyuki was part Saiyan. Chris: Hey Noboyuki, according to this author, you are nonexistent, due to the reference to you in past tense. Noboyuki: I'm part saiyan? >His grandfather was a full blood Saiyan. He told me before he died." Chris: Who, his grandpa or him? Noboyuki: Hey don't act like I'm not here! Chris: You're dead, remember? >Noboyuki died in a car accident. Chris: See? I told you? Noboyuki: That's just the author's version of me!! Chris: Sorry, you heard the man! (gets in a car and runs over Noboyuki.) Noboyuki: (dies) Chris: That's better. Wait, now I have to review this by myself! Damn. >Tenchi was puzzled because he couldn't even fly. Chris: Just think happy thoughts, Tenchi! >Trunks looked at Tenchi, "This is so cool, can I train you Tenchi?" "Actually, my grandfather is training me. He may not look strong, but he most certainly is." Chris: I'm so lonely.. snffle. >"I just want to see one thing Tenchi. Power up." "Say again, Trunks." "Power up." "Power up, how?" "Just.uh.I don't know, power up." "Uh, ok, I'll try." Tenchi stood there not knowing what to do. Yosho looked at him, "Tenchi, remember how you activate the sword." "Ok, grandpa." Chris: It's too easy.. I won't bother. >Tenchi started to glow. Suddenly, his hair stood up and turned yellow colored. Chris (as robot from Lost in Space): Danger Chris Bozeman, Danger! Bad Plot ahead!! >Tenchi was already becoming a Super Saiyan. He started to glow. Trunks looked up, "Wow, that's the calmest transformation into super saiyan I have ever seen." Chris (as Trunks): Yea, they usually yell really loud for about five hours first! >Trunks powered up, but couldn't change into Super Saiyan. Just then, Vegita came over and was shocked at what he saw. "What's this. That Tenchi guy, he's Chris: killing your son? >a super saiyan!" Chris: Dang, guessed wrong. >Vegita flew down to Tenchi and changed back into a regular saiyan. Chris: This is boring. (pauses the fic and leaves the theater.) I'll bring some other anime characters here. (Types on a keyboard. Suddenly, Gohan, Fred Lowe, and Sailor Moon appear) Gohan: (looks around) huh? Chris: (notices Sailor Moon) eep! How'd she get in my request?! (pulls out a gun and shoots her in the head) Sailor Moon: (in the name of the moon, dies) Chris: (sighs in relief) Fred: Do you need more ammo? I'd be glad to sell you some for about 5,000,000,000 wong! (fingers his ear) Chris: (puts the collar that was on Vegeta around Fred's neck) if you ever make me a business offer again, I will electrocute you will this! Fred: (raises his hands) Ok, ok! No more incredibly ridiculous business offers! Gohan: Why are we here, and why did you kill her? Chris: I need you to help me review this crappy fanfiction. At the end you get to help me kill the author! Oh yea, and that girl was evil. Gohan: Oh ok. Is the author evil? Chris: Very. Gohan: good. Fred: (fingers his ear) well, then lets get started. Chris: Agreed. (The new MST group goes into the theater and starts the fic again) >Vegita paused and looked at Tenchi. Chris: Okay guys recap: Tenchi is part saiyan and has become a super saiyan, Trunks isn't Vegeta is, Nobokyuki is, and this fic sucks. Gohan: ok. >Suddenly, Vegita went over to Trunks, slapped him over the head, and said, "That guy over there turned into a Super Saiyan before you did! You are pitiful! Do you know what I did just a second ago? I killed Kakarot." Gohan: AAAHH!!! You bastard!! (kicks Vegeta's charred body) Chris: Correction, he's a bitch. Gohan: My mistake. (grumbles) Fred: Isn't Kakkarot, or Goku, stronger than Vegeta? Chris: I believe so. Fred: Yay, more proof that this author sucks. (fingers his ear) >Tenchi turned around, "Leave him alone." Ignoring Tenchi, Vegita went on, "Trunks, you are weak! You are a disgrace!" Gohan (as Tenchi): Yea Trunks, you're a disgrace! Chris (as Nelson from the Simpsons): Ha Ha! >"I said leave him alone." "You stay out of this, Tenchi!" Vegita changed into a Super Saiyan and punched Chris: himself, and blissfully faded into subconsciousness, just to get away from this fic. >Trunks. Chris: or not.. >Trunks fell out cold. Vegita laughed and said, "What are you gonna do about it?" Fred: Is he talking to the unconscious Trunks or Tenchi? Gohan: I dunno. >He turned around and Tenchi wasn't there. Tenchi appeared behind him Gohan (as Tenchi): Peekaboo! Giggle! >and punched him. Vegita fell down. Tenchi extended his arm down quickly and his beam sword appeared in his hand. Vegita got up and ran at Tenchi. Fred (as Darth Vader Vegeta): Tenchi, I AM your father! Chris and Gohan (at the same time): NOOOOOOOO!! >Tenchi quickly disappeared and reappeared above Vegita. For some reason Vegita could not sense Tenchi. Chris: Maybe it's beause he's above you, dumbass. (kicks Vegeta's corpse) >Tenchi activated his beam sword and he flew at Vegita with his sword up. Gohan: Wait, didn't he already activate his beam sword? Fred: Maybe it's a double positive, so he actually deavtivated it! Chris: There's no such thing as a double positive! (hits Fred on the head) >Vegita backed up just as Tenchi got to him. Vegita laughed. Suddenly, he noticed a whole bunch of cuts on his arms his face and all over his body. Fred (as Vegeta holding a shaving razor): Damn clumsy hands! I cut myself! Alot! >Tenchi deactivated his sword as Vegita passed out. Fred: But he already deactivated it! Chris: No he didn't, I already said there's no such thing as a double positive! >Tenchi's hair grew short and black again. He walked over to Trunks and gave him some water from his canteen. Trunks woke up. Chris (as author): I write in monotone text. Gohan (as author): I like periods. Fred (as author): I have no life. >He was mad at Tenchi for beating up his dad. Trunks challenged Tenchi. Tenchi did his weakest blast, but it killed both Trunks and Vegita. All: And there was much rejoicing. >Tenchi and Yosho swore not to tell anybody that he killed Trunks and Vegita. Gohan: So now Yosho and Tenchi are one being? Fred: Maybe they stole the fusion earrings from Vegeta. >Tenchi and Yosho were walking home when all of a sudden, Ayeka runs up to him. Fred (as Ayeka): Oh hi Lord Tenchi! (Trips due to running in a dress) AAH! My beautiful face!! >"Hey, Ayeka, what's up?" "Oh nothing Lord Tenchi. I just want you to carry me." Tenchi carried Ayeka on his back. Gohan: That sounds more like something Tenchi would do with Ryo-ohki, not Ayeka. Chris (as Ayeka): Gimme a piggy back ride, Tenchi! Fred (as Ayeka): Yes, I can't walk by myself because I just smashed my face from running in a dress. >They walked about a mile to get back home. Chris: Wow, Ayeka ran a mile from the house? Fred: No wonder she tripped. >At home, everyone wanted Chris: To get out of this fic? Fred: To mass-murder each other? Gohan: To ditch Tenchi for someone who will actually accept their come ons? >Tenchi like usual. Gohan: Even Noboyuki? Near dead Noboyuki: .y-you..lie! Chris: AAH! He's not dead! Fred: Kill it! (everyone stomps on Nobyuki until his skull caves in) >Secretly, Ayeka had seen all of what happened in the mountains while Tenchi was training. Fred: Training, huh? So that's what they call killing people nowadays? Chris: Wait, wouldn't she have come running from the direction Tenchi and Yosho came if she saw all of that? Gohan: Just let it go, nothing in this makes sense, why should this? >She knew that Tenchi was strong so she wanted Tenchi even more. Tenchi went to sleep. Chris: Yay, more monotone text. Gohan: So killing people's a turn-on for Ayeka? Fred: That sounds more like Ryoko than Ayeka.. >Ayeka went into his room and walked over to him. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Fred: Ok, Ayeka and Ryoko have officially switched personalities. Chris: Yea, first she thinks Tenchi's sexy because he killed people, and now this. >Tenchi woke up. Chris: Oh yea, I forgot that he was asleep.. Gohan: Just like the author forgot that Tenchi had already activated his sword when fighting Vegeta. >Ayeka jumped back, "I am very sorry Lord Tenchi, I will leave now." Fred: Hey, whaddaya know, Ayeka's acting in character! Chris: ... Fred: Chris? Chris: I'm in shock. >"No, Ayeka. Come here." Gohan: Hey now Tenchi's acting out of character too! Chris: Must be a fad. Fred (as Ayeka): Hey everyone! Let's act the exact opposite way we normally do! Gohan and Chris: Yay! Gohan: I like killing people and I hate my mother! Chris: I'm not going to kill you all! Fred and Gohan: (look at Chris nervously and scoot a few seats down from him) Chris: What? I'm not! >Ayeka walked to Tenchi. Tenchi grabbed her and kissed her. They kissed for a long time. Chris (as Ayeka): Need.gasp.air..! >Just then, Ryoko came in. She saw them kiss. She immediately Fred: Jumped in for a three-way? Gohan: Dude, that's not right.. >killed herself. All: .... >Washu swept her body parts away while All: (eyes bug out) ... >Ayeka and Tenchi were still kissing. Fred (as Ayeka): air.AIR..!!! Chris: (turns red with rage) Ryoko's dead and you're making jokes!?!? (pulls out device and shocks Fred to death) Fred: Must..defy..you.(fingers his ear, and dies) Chris: (stares at Fred's corpse) What an act of defiance.(snickers) >Washu dumped out Ryoko's parts into Ryohoki's dish and the cute little cabbit ate them. All (yes, even the dead people): !!!!!!!! >Sasami washed out Ryohoki's mouth, which was stained with blood. Chris: ... Gohan: that's sick.. >Everyone was happy that Ryoko was dead, even Tenchi. Gohan: That's not right..(looks in Chris's direction) wtf??? Chris ( kneeling at shrine dedicated to Ryoko): Silence, I'm in mourning.. >Kiyone took Ryohoki's droppings to headquarters. Chris: ok, mourning's over, now we can make jokes! Gohan: Yay! Chris (as Mihoshi): mmm. Kiyone these mini chocolate pies are delicious! What's in them? >It was scanned as Ryoko. Gohan: What? Headquarters or Ryo-ohki's droppings? Chris (as GP officer): run for you lives, the headquarters is really Ryoko! AAAAAHHH!!!!! >Kiyone and Mihoshi were promoted, but decided to stay on Earth. Chris: This is so out of character.. Gohan: For Kiyone anyways.. >During all of this Tenchi and Ayeka were still kissing. Chris and Gohan: (eyes bug out) !!!!?? >After about a week they stopped kissing. Chris: That's physically impossible. Gohan: There's something fishy about this.. >Sasami made them good food and everyone lived happily ever after (except for Ryoko, that is). The End Gohan: I bet the author's not serious.. Chris: If he isn't, I am one pissed off psycho... It's one thing to be ignorantly stupid, but intentionally..grrr... >Author's notes: I was really bored when I wrote this so don't get mad. Chris: .. FUCKING HELL!!!!! Gohan: Told you! >If you do get mad, e-mail me at royalteardrop@yahoo.com. Chris: (furiously scribbles 'send every computer virus known to man to royalteardrop@yahoo.com NOW!!!' on his chart) >If you liked it also e-mail me. If you have any comments about it e- mail me. If you just want to talk to me e-mail me. Well, seeya**** Chris: Oh I wanna 'talk' alright.ehehehhehe... Gohan: ... >Well, that's my story. I hope you like it. I think it goes in Crossovers. Chris: Funny, I found this one in the 'complete bullshit' section. >Thanks People call me, Masaki Gohan: (jumps up and down excitedly) do we get to kill the author now??? Chris: No, death is too good for him.. let's go see if he has a pet. Gohan: What are we gonna do with his pet? Chris: Hack it to pieces, and send the pieces back to him one by one via Fedex! MUAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!! Gohan: (stares in shock) Chris: I'm joking. ~Fin Please don't take offense if I killed off any of your favorite characters. It's all in fun, so no hate mail please! I'm special because I put the disclaimer at the end! Gohan, Vegeta and all related characters are trademark um.. Whoever trademarked them. I'm too lazy to find out who. But I don't own them. Neither are Noboyuki, Heero, and Fred Lowe. The only character I own is myself. Don't sue me!