Mike's Desk Theatre 3000: episode 2
By Mike MacDonald (KNIGHTSABR@aol.com)

DISCLAIMER:
	The characters of Mike's Desk are from a comic strip currently 
under development (when I get the resources ready, anyway), and are my 
property. However, if you'd like to incorporate any of them in a story 
or MST, please let me know and I'll give you my blessing!
	I would also like to note that I mean no harm to the authors of 
bad fanfics.

	. . .actually, I would mean that if the fics weren't by AAA-
PhuckNut or Tank Cop. I'll be honest. >;(

	Hell, or by any of their associates. I've read some real horror 
shows on this site.


	Now, let's meet the cast! These are the toys in Mike's room (see 
episode 1 for descriptions):
NATHAN: "Hi, this is your friendly neighborhood asshole speaking. . ."
ANTOINETTE: "I could really use a drink right now. . ."
SNICKER: "Can I take a nap instead?"
BRIANNA: "Is that a large pen in your pocket, or do you just wanna do 
me?"
MACKIE: "Yes, I'm in love with Zelda. Yes, I'm comfortable with that."
TINA: "I love chocolate, too!"
SPUD MC: "Yo, Fresh Prince, you want me to eat this? Yo, watch out, I'm 
gonna eat this!" 
BAKA: "Confucius say: 'Man who live in glass house should not be asshole 
like you.'" 
GINNY: "What, we gotta do another one??"
NORMAN: ". . .. . ."
PRINCESS MIRANDA: "I don't know why I associate myself with you people."
EVOL: "I gotta kill something's what I gotta do!"
DALEK: "That's nice, Sir. Here, take this cup of sugar."



	We now take you to Mike's desk, home of the strange and demented 
toy collection of Mike MacDonald. . .

	(Nathan walks up to a cute girl in a high school uniform.)
NATE: Hey there. What's your name?

SUGIHARA: Sugihara. . .

NATE: Sugihara. . .that's a cute name. How come I haven't seen you 
around here before?

SUGIHARA: I live in Mike's Cabinet.

NATE: Oh. . .well, I guess that'd explain why I haven't. . .

SUGIHARA: You wanna get nasty?

NATE: . . .excuse me??

SUGIHARA: Let's just cut the banter. I haven't had a good man in ages. 
Do you wanna go?
	(Nate looks her over.)
NATE: How old are you??

SUGIHARA: Sixteen. Do you want to go or not?

NATE: That's wrong. No, that's just. . .just plain wrong. . .. . .aww, 
what the hell. Why not?

SUGIHARA: Sweet!
	(They start to walk off when Antoinette grabs his collar and 
pulls him back.)
RED: What on god's green earth do you think you're doing??

NATE: Red!! I was gonna score!!

RED: With a sixteen-year-old??? Are you completely sick or what??

NATE: But she's Japanese! It's okay over there!

RED: Well, it's not okay here, so siddown! Besides, after all the lemon 
fics we've read, you oughta be celibate by now.

NATE: Heh heh, not me! Are you jealous?
	(Antoinette blushes.)
RED: I am not jealous!!! Why would I be jealous of you?

NATE: Well, then, what do you want?? (she looks at him seriously, then 
his eyes get big) Oh, no. Don't tell me. . .

RED: Yeah. Evol found another fanfic for us to read. Luckily, it isn't a 
lemon this time.

NATE: Luckily?! We'd be lucky not to have to do them at all!!

RED: Well, I called up some of our guys to read it with us. It's a 
pretty big group this time.

NATE: Great. More puking to go around that way.
	(Snicker, Mackie, and Tina join them.)
RED: You are such a damn cynic. . .

SNICKER: Hey, guys. What's going on?

NATE: We're reading another fanfic today.

SNICKER: I'm leaving. . .

RED: Snicker!! Get back here!!
	(Antoinette chases after Snicker as he breaks into a mad dash.)
NATE: Oh, god, Navi's reading with us today??

TINA: Hey!! Don't call me that!!! I hate that!!

NATE: (as Navi) Hey! Hey! Wissen! Hey! Watch out! Hey!

TINA: Shut up!! Gosh, I don't know why I put up with you, Nathan. . .

MACKIE: 'Cause you're a fourth his size.
	(Antoinette returns, dragging Snicker back to the group.)
SNICKER: But they're so baaaadd!!!

RED: Waah! Waah! You're part of the group, so shut up.

TINA: Oh, they can't be that bad, can they? (everyone glares at her) . . 
.okay, sorry I said anything.

SNICKER: Navi, can't you give me wings so I can fly away??

TINA: Don't call me that!!!

NATE&MACKIE: (as Navi) Hey! Wissen! Hey! Hey! Hey! Wissen! Watch out! 
Hey!

RED: Oh, come on you guys. Stop picking on her.
	(Princess Miranda approaches.)
MACKIE: Oh, great. Here comes the Bitch Parade. . .

MIRANDA: Nathaniel!! What on earth are you doing flirting with my 
subjects???
	(Nathan turns to Mackie, mock excited.)
NATE: She called me "Nathaniel"!!!

NATE&MACKIE: (excited girls) EEEEEEEE!!!

MIRANDA: Nathaniel!! I will not have you attempting any kind of foul 
activities on my people! Especially the underage ones!!! Are you that 
horny???

NATE: Only when you're around, Princess.
	(Mackie snickers.)
MIRANDA: Silence, imp! I'll talk to you about what you did later!

SNICKER: What'd you do, Mackie?

MACKIE: Watched her in her dressing room for an hour.

NATE&SNICKER: Whoa! Schwiiinnnnggg!!!!!
	(Evol and Dalek approach the group.)
MIRANDA: You're one of my subjects, for god's sake, Mackie!!!

MACKIE: But you're such a dish!

MIRANDA: . . .really?

EVOL: Ah-HEM!!!!
	(Everyone looks over at Evol.)
MIRANDA: Oh, dear god. What's going on here?

NATE: (To Evol) Yes, Almighty Assrod?

EVOL: Is this your group for today?

MIRANDA: What? What's he talking about??

EVOL: Good! Ha ha! I've found a nice little douche of a fic for you this 
time!

SNICKER: It's not a lemon, though?

DALEK: No, it's not a lemon. It's an under ripe grapefruit.

ALL: YOU LYING PRICK!!!

EVOL: Mwahahahahahahaaaa!!!!

MIRANDA: What are you talking about here?

EVOL: It's called "Euphoria", by Ryo-Ohki.

TINA: Ooh, how dare they soil that cute little rabbit's name!!

MIRANDA: WHAT IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT????

NATE: Princess, you picked a very bad time to come and bitch at me 
today. Every now and then, Evol sucks us into Mike's laptop and forces 
us to read horrible Tenchi Muyo fanfics. Some are stupid, some are 
dirty, and some are really, really sick.

MIRANDA: Oh, okay. AND YOU DRAGGED ME INTO IT??????

NATE: Hey, you came to yell at me, remember??
	(Evol hits CTRL-ALT-DEL on the keyboard and sucks them all into 
Microsoft Word 2000.)
EVOL: And awaaaaaaaaayy we go!!!
	(Dalek loads the fanfic and the horror begins. . .)

------------------------

SNICKER: Oh, look. There's those toilet paper lines again.
NATE: I wonder how many wipes this fic'll be worth.
MIRANDA: How do I get out of here??
NATE: You can't. Evol doesn't let us out until we're done reading the 
stinkburgers he sends us.
RED: Looks like you're part of our group today, Your Highness.
MIRANDA: I didn't ask to do this!!!!
MACKIE: Hey, neither did we, Miranda!! Just siddown and settle!
	(Miranda sits.)
MIRANDA: Oh, I can't believe this. . .
TINA: Cheer up, Princess! This is my first time, too!
NATE: Tina, don't say it like that. You're turning me on.
TINA: EEEEEEEEEEK!!!! Don't you dare think about me that way again, you 
sick pervert!!!!
MACKIE: Actually, you'd make for some good pinky action, Tina.
TINA: EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
RED: You two stop that this instant!!. . .you're turning me on, too.
TINA: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!
	(everyone cracks up.)
RED: Tina, I'm kidding!! Settle down!

Euphoria - By Ryo-ohki

RED: It's gonna be hard to say bad stuff about this author, with a name 
like that.
NATE: Not for me.
MACKIE: Not for me.
SNICKER: The name doesn't make it any less damnable.

Warning : this is a lemon fanfic, this means that it has adult content,
throughout. Even though I believe in the abolishment of censorship 
I don't believe that minors should not be reading this kind of material.

NATE: Oh, great. Sounds like Ryo-Ohki is a member of the Liberist party. 
You know, the guys that say they want no government, but they want women 
and children to have equal rights.
SNICKER: No, he said he doesn't think they should not be reading this. 
He's with the Child Abuse party.
RED: Adam Sandlerism?

If you are under the legal age of your country, district or state, 
please exit this site immediately.

MIRANDA: That doesn't include us, does it?
RED:'Fraid not.

Note : this is the sequel to my earlier story, "At the Carrot Patch",
so if you like this story, please read the other one(s) that I have 
written.

MACKIE: Dear god, there are more???

So far, I've only written for the Tenchi series,

SNICKER: Let's keep it that way please.
NATE: If he starts writing Urusei Yatsura fanfics, I'm gonna kill him.

but when I get enough information about others I will write about them 
too.

MACKIE: We must intercept his spies in the U.S. Manga corps.

Special Notice : If anyone is interested in working together on a story 
with me please contact me at Mike_Forever@hotmail.com.
	All other comments and suggestions are welcome also.

SNICKER: You sure you want that, Ryo?

And now on to the story....

The day began as any other day, but today was no ordinary day for 
Ryouko.

MACKIE: Who?

She was had a lot in store for Tenchi so that he would be hers forever.

NATE: The author's mom was had a lot o' drugs when she gave birth.

She left the house shortly after lunch and told everyone that she 
wouldn't be back until late in the night.  Everyone naturally assumed 
that she had gone on a date with some other man after getting tired of 
pursuing Tenchi.

RED: Naturally.
NATE: Sounds like Ryoko to me.
SNICKER: No, this is Ryouko he's talking about, not Ryoko.
NATE&RED: Oh, yeah.

Ayeka thought that she would take advantage of the situation by making
a romantic dinner that would capture Tenchi's heart

MIRANDA: So she could torture and interrogate it.
MACKIE: Off to a good start, Princess.

and make him notice her. What nobody didn't know was that Ryouko hadn't 
actually left the house but was secretly sitting in the basement to wait 
for the right time.

NATE: So everyone knew she hadn't actually left the house?
TINA: (Ryoko) I'm sneaking into the basement everybodyyyy!!
ALL: Okay.

Ayeka cooked two separate dinners, one for Tenchi and herself and one 
for everyone else.

TINA: I don't think it's safe to have anime characters share a plate at 
the dinner table.
NATE: Been watching Dragonball Z, have you?

Ayeka also set up another table in a separate room, away from everyone 
else so they wouldn't be interrupted.

NATE: Can't say she's being conspicuous. . .

Everyone came to the table sat down, and began the meal. 

MIRANDA: (race announcer) Gluttons, take your marks!!

Ryouko turned intangible so that she was now able to come up through the 
floor.

SNICKER: "Intangible: adj. Immaterial, vague, impalpable; unspecific; 
abstract; see insubstantiality"
NATE: "Insubstantiality: nothingness, nihility; nothing, naught, nil, 
nullity, zero, nobody, no one. . ."
MIRANDA: Oh, I get it. She ceased to exist.
RED: As should this story!

After poking her head through the floor she saw that neither Tenchi nor 
Ayeka were at the table or Ayeka at the table anywhere.

TINA: He can't remember what he wrote three seconds prior??
NATE: Co-written by TIMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!

"That wench, Ayeka, she took MY Tenchi" exclaimed Ryouko "I hope she's 
not planning to take MY Tenchi away from me because he's MINE.

RED: Grab the milking stool and sit by Ryoko, Ryo-Ohki.
TINA: Is she trying to get a point across?

"If I find that she's with MY Tenchi

MACKIE: (Ryoko) Then I'll just date other people, like I always do.

I'll give her a beating that she'll never forget.  Maybe then she'll
learn not to steal my man, ever again.

RED: (Ryoko) Then I will have kicked HER ass with MY foot, and MY Tenchi 
will be MY man again with ME!

Ryouko sunk back under the floor to continue her search for Tenchi. The
first place she check was the bedrooms

NATE: Oh, Shampoo's narrating this story.
MACKIE: Or Lo Wang.

but found that they weren't there, which greatly relieved Ryouko.

SNICKER: Next, Ryouko checked the bidet, and then Ayeka's S&M parlor. . 
.
MIRANDA: . . .interesting hobbies Ayeka has. . .

She finally found them in a dark, secluded room that was connected to 
Ayeka's bedroom that only Ayeka had access to, until now.

MIRANDA: And Tenchi suspects nothing?????
NATE: Don't look so surprised.

Ryouko came up through the floor, under the table and crouched under it.

RED: Somehow I get the feeling that the author has never seen the tables 
in Japan. . .

She became solid again and was careful not to alert Ayeka of her 
presence.

MIRANDA: (Ryoko) trip Oops. . .
NATE: ALERT!! ALERT!!
MACKIE: VOOP!! VOOP!! VOOP!! VOOP!!
RED: WEEEOOO WEEEOOO WEEEOOO
SNICKER: Aah-OOOOOOO-gah! Aah-OOOOOOO-gah!
TINA: (Ayeka) Halt, trespasser!!
	(everyone makes machine gun noises.)

Luckily Ayeka had used a long tablecloth that reached the floor

MIRANDA: Again, it's a Japanese table!!! A dishrag would touch the 
floor!!!

so she wouldn't be interrupted from her plans.  Slowly she knelt in 
front of Tenchi but didn't touch him yet, she had to carefully plan this 
so that Tenchi wouldn't be too alarmed so that she wouldn't alert anyone 
of her position.

MACKIE: Where is she, Vietnam?

After much thoughtful planning she brought her plans up to Tenchi's lap 

RED: (Ryoko) Okay, Tenchi, we send the third and fourth divisions up 
front while the sixth goes behind them, then we close together and 
sandwich them, preventing any means of escape. . .
SNICKER: (Tenchi) The hell. . .RYOKO?!?!?!?

and lightly caressed the front of Tenchi's pants.

Tenchi looked up at Ayeka at turned a bright shade of red.
"Oh Tenchi did I make your food too spicy for you?" inquired Ayeka

Tenchi shook his head

NATE: (Tenchi) N-no, Ayeka. It's groin-I mean grope- I MEAN GREAT!! It's 
very good. . .heh heh. . .

and returned to his meal trying not to give anything else away.
Ryouko paused for a moment to see if Tenchi had given away her position.

MIRANDA: You could never tell who was a commie in those days. . .

After a couple seconds she continued to caress Tenchi's slowly hardening 
pole.

	(Everyone laughs hysterically.)
MACKIE: His "pole"?!
NATE: Does he vault with it or something?? The Olympic boner??
TINA: Eww!

Soon Tenchi's dick was at full mast and bloated with blood.

MIRANDA: . . .who in their right mind would find that description 
arousing??
RED: Ryo-Ohki.

His prick was becoming sore so Ryouko decided to undo his pants for him. 
She was almost hit in the face as his full length came flying straight 
at her face.

SNICKER: (Ryoko) WHOA!! Evasive!!!

Ryouko caught the bloated shaft

TINA: John Shaft's retired and overweight, I guess.
NATE: That Shaft is one bloated. . .
ALL: Shut yo mouth!
NATE: Hey, I'm just talkin' about Shaft!
MACKIE: Who's a super action hero that's bloated with blood?
RED: That Ryo-Ohki is one sick. . .
	(No one tries to say "shut yo mouth")
RED: . . .dang. You guys are harsh.

at the base with her left hand and softly started to run her
fingers up and down his entire length. Tenchi tried hard not to moan,
whimper or start breathing heavy as it would give away what was going
on and he definitely didn't want this to stop. The danger of the 
situation was very arousing for Tenchi.

NATE: You hold Tenchi at gunpoint, he's ready to go!

In an effort to release the tension, Tenchi curled his toes upwards.

	(Everyone blinks.)
MIRANDA: New Yoga thing?
SNICKER: Stupid author?

He accidentally stuck his toe of his shoe into Ryouko's groin.

MACKIE: (Ryoko) BONK Oww!!
RED: (Ayeka) Lord Tenchi, did you just kick the table?
NATE: (Tenchi) Uhh. . .

Ryouko was surprised at this and started to take her plan further.

NATE: She became Ultrawoman and gave Tenchi Ultrahead!!!
ALL: UGH!!!

Ryouko once again turned intangible and sunk back trough the floor.

SNICKER: That's the second time she's left to nullspace in this fic.
RED: Y'know, Insubstantiality also means spirituality, so I guess it's 
the right word.
NATE: It also means moonshine, so maybe she just got drunk.

"No, please don't leave me now, not when it was just getting good."
Tenchi thought to himself

TINA: Who's he talking to?
SNICKER: His morale.
RED: His decency.
NATE: His prick, I guess.
MACKIE: (laughing) Little buddy failed him!
ALL: UGH!!!

Once in the basement Ryouko stripped herself of all her clothing
but hadn't yet become solid.

MACKIE: Oh, I get it. Ryouko's a guy.
	(Everyone vomits.)

When she was totally naked, she returned to the underside of the table
and resumed her caresses on Tenchi's upright dick. Tenchi exhaled a sigh 
of relief and contentment, Ayeka congratulated herself on her meal as 
she thought Tenchi was merely enjoying the meal.

SNICKER: (as the Tick) Sentence structure. . .bad. . .losing. . 
.consciousness. . .

After Ryouko was sure that Tenchi was completely aroused,

RED: She had to do an analysis?!?
MIRANDA: How dumb is this bitch??

she slowly licked the underside of Tenchi's cockhead.

MACKIE: (as rooster) Cock-a-doodle-dAAHH!!! What the hell're you doing, 
bitch?????

Tenchi fought desperately to hold in his moans of pleasure.

TINA: I never have to do that when I like something.
MACKIE: He's trying to emphasize how wonderful it is.
TINA: Oh. . .that's really stupid.

Tenchi knew what Ryouko was thinking and removed his shoe and sock
off of his right foot.

RED: Ah, just what I was thinking.

He once again stuck his foot back into Ryouko's
groin and started to massage her swollen clit with his big toe.

RED: What the hell is wrong with this guy????

Ryouko pushed downward with all her weight and forced Tenchi's toe
into her love-canal. Tenchi began to move his toe around within Ryouko's 
womanly depths.

NATE: (as drill sergeant) PRE-seeeeeeeeent BARFBAGS!!!

Ryouko began to suck wildly on Tenchi's throbbing cock as Tenchi's
half-kicked his foot upwards in an effort to get more of his toe inside
Ryouko.

MACKIE: (Ryoko) BONK OWW!!
RED: (Ayeka) Tenchi, what are you doing?
NATE: (Tenchi) Nothing! Nothing.

Ryouko swirled her tongue around the head as a way of thanking Tenchi.
She moved her hips up and down in the same rhythm as Tenchi's upward 
strokes.

TINA: Dancing to a painter?

Ryouko bobbed her head down everytime that Tenchi's foot came up and 
pushed down with her cunt lips in an effort to swallow Tenchi's toe.

MIRANDA: Looks like she's getting hungry, too.
RED: I feel ill. . . 

Meanwhile everyone had finished their dinner and had gone about their
regular activities.  Washuu was in her lab.

SNICKER: Why do all these morons spell Washu with two U's??
NATE: If he actually saw any of the series or read any of the manga, I'm 
sure he'd get the Washuu and Ryouko thing right.
RED: Since when were you an optimist?
NATE: I'm sorry. I may or may not have been affected by these fanfics.
TINA: I don't think these are written by fans at all!
SNICKER: No kidding. The writers seem to want to destroy Tenchi Muyo 
with these stories!

Sasami and Ryo-ohki were off playing outside as they always do.

RED: Let's keep it that way, shall we, Ryo-Ohki?

But, Ayeka was eating as slowly as possible in an effort to savor
her time with Tenchi.

NATE: The point of that scene change was. . .?

"Why aren't you eating your dinner Tenchi?"  Ayeka asked inquisitively,
"Don't you like the meal that I made for you?"

MACKIE: (Tenchi) Not as much as Ryoko's enjoying hers. . .D'OH!!
GIRLS: Mackie!!!!
MACKIE: Sorry. . .

Tenchi scooped up some of what was on his plate with his fork and
swallowed it.  He followed it up with a weak smile to make dissipate
Ayeka's suspicions.

SNICKER: Was he trying to sound artsy with that last sentence?
MIRANDA: He's trying to sound like he went to school and passed to fool 
us. Sorry, Ryo-Ohki, we're not buying it!!!
NATE: I never once saw a Tenchi Muyo scene where they ate with forks.

It didn't work however, as she was beginning to suspect something
was wrong.

RED: Is Ayeka frigging Helen Keller today??

"Oh, yes!!!  Here it comes, I'm gonna cum straight down Ryouko's
sweet throat" thought Tenchi.

NATE: Okay, I think that would have blown Ryoko's cover.
RED: Tell me that pun wasn't intentional.

He put everything he had into bringing Ryouko over the edge of orgasm
also. Tenchi increased his pace without making it obvious.

NATE: You know what? This would make a hilarious sitcom.
MACKIE: (Ayeka) Tenchi, do you have hemorrhoids?
SNICKER: (Tenchi) . . .yes.

Under the table, Ryouko's head was bobbing madly up and down on Tenchi's 
fully aroused prick.

MACKIE: He could put her on his dashboard as a decoration.
SNICKER: (Tenchi) Ow! Ow! Ow! Oww!

Tenchi brought his hands down to his lap and placed them on the back of 
Ryouko's head.  He brought Ryouko's head down faster and harder on his 
dick. He felt the head of his cock hitting Ryouko's the back of Ryouko's 
throat.

RED: (laughing) He doesn't care if Ayeka's watching anymore!

Finally Ryouko rammed her lips down to the base of Tenchi's hard
cock and savored the flavor of Tenchi's sweet jizz.

RED: That reminds me. Why didn't we invite Brianna into our group today?
NATE: She'd be all over me about now.



RED: Uhh. . .
SNICKER: What happened to the fic?
MACKIE: Is it over?
MIRANDA:I hope to god so!!
	(Evol comes on through the media player program.)
EVOL: Uh, attention, all doomed, pathetic nimrods! We have just realized 
that, in my haste to. . .acquire this fanfic online, I didn't let it 
finish loading on the webpage. Dalek's online right now getting the 
other half.
ALL: OTHER HALF?!?!?
NATE: How much more is there???
EVOL: Um. . .something-odd pages.
RED: Oh, that helps. Thanks, Screwhead!
MIRANDA: Why don't we just leave?
TINA: Yeah, I don't like it here.
MACKIE: We can't until the fic's over.
TINA: But I'm gonna explode if I have to sit through any more!!!!
NATE: That'd be a sight, wouldn't it?
MACKIE: Think Navi ever exploded while talking to Link?
TINA: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!!!!!!!!
NATE: Hey! Hey! Wissen! Hey! Watch out! Hey! Wissen! – BOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
	(The other guys laugh.)
RED: Will you leave Tina alone?
NATE: But she's so cute when she's mad.
TINA: . . .really?
SNICKER: Uh, oh. I think she has a crush on you now, Nate.
MACKIE: Mm-mm! Hot Faerie ass!
TINA: Shut up!!!

>At the same time, Tenchi kicked his foot up and lifted Ryouko up off 
the floor with one foot and jammed his foot as deep as he could into 
Ryouko's dripping cunt.  

RED: Looks like we're back.
MACKIE: (Ryoko) BONK OWW!! God dammit, Tenchi!!!!
MIRANDA: What a wonderful thing to have thrown in your face at the end 
of a break. Thank you, Evol!!!
EVOL: Hee hee!!!

>She tightened her lips around Tenchi's huge dick and barely managed to 
keep all of his cum in her mouth, without spilling any of it.

MACKIE: Tenchi oughta work for the fire department.
NATE: He should be dead from dehydration by now!
MIRANDA: God, that's revolting. . .
NATE: (taking Miranda's hand) I just love the way you talk, Miranda!
MIRANDA: Touch me again, and you'll have trouble keeping all of my fist 
in your mouth without spilling any of it!!

>Ryouko let it sit for a while and then swallowed it slowly so she could 
feel it slipping down into her throat and into her stomach.

RED: I couldn't possibly vomit as much as I'd like to in expression of 
my disdain towards this fic.

>Ryouko put Tenchi's sock and shoe back on, then sunk back into the 
basement where she got herself dressed again.  She then teleported 
herself outside and acted as if she had just arrived home from the 
perfect date with the perfect man.

NATE: Bill Clinton?
MACKIE: Woody Allen?
RED: Tommy Lee?
SNICKER: Ted Kennedy?
MIRANDA: She still thinks she can trick Ayeka after all that?
MACKIE: In this fic, it's possible.

>After cleaning up all the dishes from dinner,

MIRANDA: Whose dinner?
	(Everyone winces.)
NATE: That was good, Princess.

Ayeka turned her attention to Tenchi.

"Are you alright, Tenchi?"  inquired Ayeka "You were acting very 
strangely during dinner and I think you might be coming down with 
something."  

RED: (Tenchi) No, just cumming. . .D'OH!!!

>She put her hand to Tenchi's forehead, but felt nothing strange.

SNICKER: His symptoms are down lower, Ayeka.

"Maybe you're feeling lonely because Ryouko left you tonight.  Well you 
can forget about that slut, because I'm the one that really loves you.

NATE: (Tenchi) Would you give me head under the table, Ayeka?

Forget about that slut, she left

MACKIE: (Ayeka) . . .a big pool of jizz on the kitchen floor.
ALL: UGHH!!!

for her own personal needs without a second thought."

SNICKER: Took her more than a second to think about it, actually. She 
had to carefully plan giving him head, remember?
NATE: Point taken.

>Ayeka closed her door and then turned around and gave Tenchi a lust 
filled gaze. She began to bring herself closer to Tenchi's body and 
pressed herself softly against him.  She rubbed the tips of her 
tits against Tenchi's chest until her nipples became fully erect and 
were visible through her kimono.  

NATE: Wait. . .the Jurai reproduce with their tits?!?
RED: Wait. . .Ryo-Ohki's a flipping moron?!?

>Tenchi couldn't help but look down Ayeka's kimono as he hugged her 
close to him.

SNICKER: (narrator) He couldn't help but note the intricate patterns on 
the sleeves, and the shine of the exotic, purple velvet. . .

His dick raised up and poked Ayeka in the stomach.

TINA: (Tenchi) Have at you, Ayeka!!
	(The others laugh.)

>"Oh, Tenchi!" exclaimed Ayeka "are you getting turned on due to my 
actions?"

MIRANDA: . . .okay, remember how I said Ryoko would never manage to 
trick Ayeka after that whole dinner table scene?
ALL: Yeah.
MIRANDA: Well, I take it all back.

This wasn't one of the questions that she was going to let Tenchi 
answer.

RED: (narrator) Because she knew he would make her feel stupid.

Ayeka reached out and began to slowly stroke the front of Tenchi's 
slacks with her right hand.

MACKIE: Wow, she really is Hellen Keller.
SNICKER: He wears slacks??
NATE: Ayeka must be short in this one. She had to reach out instead of 
down.
MACKIE: At least it ain't Sasami.
	(They all shudder.)

With her left hand Ayeka reached for

RED: Her cell phone.
MACKIE: The fridge?
SNICKER: A knife.
NATE: A rather blunt object.
TINA: Ryo Ohki's throat.
SNICKER: I like Tina's better.
NATE: Me, too.

>Tenchi's zipper and brought it down slowly so that it made a long 
buzzing sound.

TINA: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. . .
RED: (tv narrator) The squadron of Mitsubishis began to descend as they 
approached Pearl Harbor. . .

Tenchi brought both of his hands to Ayeka's shoulders and slid her 
kimono down off of her shoulders.  Tenchi found that Ayeka had planned
>all of this by the fact that she wore no bra and was completely bare 
under her kimono.

SNICKER: . . .at her shoulders.
MIRANDA: The readers found that the author had planned all of this by 
the fact that he's a sick little bastard!!!
SNICKER: . . .at his shoulders.
MIRANDA: Okay, stop.
SNICKER: At your shoulders?

>Tenchi let the top half of Ayeka's kimono hang down and brought his 
hands to Ayeka's fleshy breasts.  He gently kneaded the flesh that
was Ayeka's tits.

TINA: He's gonna make a pizza!
NATE: I gently cower at the shit that was this fanfic.
SNICKER: I gently search for the sense that was my dignity.

He started around the soft edges and worked his way in towards her erect 
nipples that stood out a full half-inch from the rest of her tit.

MACKIE: Rumiya of "Magical Project S" perched on the left nipple and 
watched the fun.

Ayeka began to moan audibly

RED: I prefer to moan visually.
NATE: This guy should write political speeches.

as the sensations ran from her nipples
>from her nipples to her sensitive clitoris.

MIRANDA: He should also pay attention in his human anatomy courses!!

>Tenchi took each nipple between a thumb and a finger

NATE: (sportcaster) He had to make the seven-ten split in order to tie 
the game. . .

and began to rub it back and forth between them.  He leaned forward and 
took one into his mouth, Tenchi ran a lap around the sensitive nipple

RED: Cripes!! Ayeka's huge!!

with his tongue. 

RED: Oh.
NATE: Shouldn't he just say "he lapped her –"
RED: No. No, he shouldn't.

 Then he took the fully erect nipple between his teeth and began to 
nibble on it slightly, while nibbling he kept licking the tip with the 
end of his tongue.

NATE: Doesn't that hurt, Princess?
MIRANDA: Why the hell are you asking me????

>Ayeka slipped Tenchi's full cock out through the fly in Tenchi's pants.

MACKIE: They impaled that poor fly!

It stood out a full eight inches from his hips. Ayeka was mesmerized by 
its length and width that she never knew possible.

SNICKER: (narrator) . . .and by the fact that he had one on each hip.

>She kneeled down on the ground in front of Tenchi and pulled him down 
onto her mattress with her. 

NATE: (Tenchi) Ayeka, why do you keep a bed in the kitchen?
RED: (Ayeka) Tenchi, how is it you didn't notice it until now??

Tenchi lay down on the bed to see what she was going to do.

NATE: Oh, the author's giving him directions.
SNICKER: Maybe Shampoo's narrating again.

Ayeka was at his feet, kneeling at the edge of the bed.  She undid the 
button on his pants and pulled them off his muscular legs, and 
gracefully threw them into a corner of the room.

MACKIE: Gracefully chucked them aside, huh?
SNICKER: (narrator) Later, Ayeka gracefully threw out the trash.

Tenchi took of his shirt and threw it into another corner of the room.

TINA: (referee) Alright, you two, I wanna good clean fight tonight!!

Ayeka crawled forward so that she had her soft lips positioned above 
Tenchi's upright dick. She licked all around the tip, lubricating it 
with her saliva.

NATE: Aaaaaaaaand repeat process, Author.
RED: He should've just copied and pasted the last scene up here.
MIRANDA: He probably did.

She bobbed her head down all the way to the base a couple of times so 
that the entire thing was lubricated up. Ayeka stood up on her
knees and walked forward until she was directly above Tenchi's cock.

NATE: So now she's by his cock?
TINA: What was she doing a minute ago, then??

Tenchi placed his hands upon her hips and looked deep into her eyes.

SNICKER: Long arms Tenchi's got there.
NATE: Turns out Tenchi's just a shaven gorilla.
	(Everyone gags.)

He could tell that she wanted him badly because her womanly moisture was 
dripping down and lubing his dick even more.  

RED: That's an automated bodily response, Captain Rapist! She may very 
well not want to do it at all!!

>They both smiled at each other which signaled that they were both 
ready. Tenchi forced Ayeka's hips down as she dropped all of her weight 
downwards.

SNICKER: (narrator) . . .through the floor.
MACKIE: (narrator) . . .and on top of Ryouko.
NATE: Sex scene number three!
MIRANDA: Ugh. . .

Tenchi's huge prick drove deep into Ayeka's

TINA: (narrator) . . .head, killing her instantly. Tenchi was later seen 
in court, facing sexual assault charges and one charge of manslaughter.
SNICKER: One?! What about us??
RED: Ryo-Ohki's killing us intentionally.

warm depths.  Tenchi pulled down until Ayeka's pussy lips had come all 
the way down to >the very base of his manhood.

MIRANDA: Boy, Ryouko's not going to be pleased when she sees what Ayeka 
got in the kitchen.
SNICKER: She could always fall back on the perfect guy she met while she 
was out.
	(They all laugh.)

>He held Ayeka down so that they could both enjoy the pleasure of their 
first sexual experience together.  Tenchi

RED: Usually, when one person is being restrained, only one person will 
be enjoying it.

>pushed up on Ayeka's hips, her cunt made a delightful squishing sound 
as Tenchi penetrated her pussy. He stuffed himself into her inch by 
inch.

RED: So Tenchi's a dick? Makes perfect sense.
MACKIE: Tenchi should be the national spokesman for Stovetop Stuffing.
	(Everyone gags.)
NATE: Even for me, that was bad.
MACKIE: Thank you!

Once he had totally buried his meat inside his lover's hole, he 

TINA: Sounds like a slang term for getting rid of the evidence of a 
crime.

>brought her back up so that just the head of his dick was left inside 
her, slowly brought her back down to the very >base of his dick.

NATE: This is why epileptics shouldn't write stories.

>Oh! Dearest Tenchi, you feel so good inside me.  Pump you dick into me 
harder, faster, oh yes!!

SNICKER: Oh, for the love of. . .now Ayeka's a schizoid!!

Doesn't this make you feel better after that wench, Ryouko, left you for 
another man?

NATE: . . .so Ryoko and Tenchi have always been a couple?
MACKIE: Apparently.

>Ayeka began to raise and lower herself on Tenchi's cock faster and 
faster until they both had gotten into a pounding rhythm.

TINA: Hot, pneumatic love!

Tenchi looked up and saw Ayeka's tits flopping up and down in front of 
his face.  He couldn't resist, so he

SNICKER: Obeyed them?
TINA: Burst out laughing?
MIRANDA: Left the story??

reached up with both hands and grabbed them.  He pinched both nipples 
and began rolling them between his fingers.

NATE: (Tenchi) Damn. She only picks up KNIX.

He leaned forward and buried his face between Ayeka's beautiful, round 
tits. Tenchi rubbed his face up and down between her tits, trying to get 
more of that wonderful, musky odor into his >nostrils.

ALL: . . .
MACKIE: Anyone?
RED: I'm not touching that one.

Tenchi licked the flesh between the fleshy mounds.

SNICKER: Then repeated the redundant process redundantly!

He pressed both of her pert breasts together close enough so her could 
get both nipples in his mouth at the same time.

NATE: Holy crap!!! Ayeka's figure rivals that of Jessica Rabbit!!!

Tenchi bit them gently between his front teeth to keep them in his
mouth, at the same time he tugged on them slightly.  He began to flick 
his tongue across the both of her nipples. Ayeka moaned out loud and 
continued to pound herself on to Tenchi's slick meat.

MIRANDA: It's official. Ryouko's just as stupid as Ayeka. How is she not 
hearing this???
NATE: She's doing the same thing with her perfect man.

>"Damn, your cunt is so tight Ayeka!" Tenchi managed to moan

RED: Tenchi is now from South Phoenix.
MACKIE: Yoyoyoyo, kick it wit da G-spot, D-lo home slice!
SNICKER: Shee.

>Tenchi grabbed either side of his lovers' hips

NATE: The author can't decide?
MIRANDA: I guess not.

to slow her down as they both approached orgasm.

TINA: Unfortunately, her brakes gave out and they veered headlong into 
"Dull Fuck".
NATE: . . .damn, Tina.

Finally Tenchi rammed his cock as far as it would go into Ayeka's warm 
depths as he shot his searing load of jizz up into her womb.

MACKIE: (laughing) What's he got, a twelve-gauge???

Her cunt muscles contracted in an effort to milk the cum out of his 
balls.

RED: Jesus. . .
NATE: (narrator) Just like the author milked the hell out of this scene.

>"Thank you Tenchi, you have proven to me how much you love me.

MIRANDA: This prick has never been in a relationship.
MACKIE: He doesn't even understand emotional contact.
SNICKER: He's from the Negaverse!

Now Ryouko can't take you away from me, ever!  You belong to me now.

TINA: (Ayeka) I have bought the rights to you, Lord Tenchi!

But for now you must rest.  From the way you were acting earlier on in 
the evening, I'd say you were sick.  I'll be back to check on you later, 
to see that you are alright."

SNICKER: And back to being sweet, motherly Ayeka.
RED: Ryoko's gonna be pissed.
NATE: What about Ryouko?
RED: She's off with her perfect man, Ted Kennedy.
TINA: The author's dad?
ALL: OUCH, TINA!!

>***********************************************************************
********************************************
THE END
************************************************************************
********>***********************************

SNICKER: . . .oh, okay. You put us through all that hellish torture, and 
then you end the story like that? GET BENT!!!
RED: Whoa! Take it easy, Snicker. It's over now. How'd you pull through, 
Tina?
TINA: I feel raped, and I wasn't even in it!!
NATE: So, same time next week, then?

You all should have seen the carrot patch.

	(Everyone looks at Nathan.)
NATE: Trust me, you shouldn't have.

>Well, that's all I have this time around.  If I can get enough ideas 
for a part 3 I'll do it.  If not I'll try doing another series.

MIRANDA: Oh, no, we'd hate for you to go to so much trouble.

>Stay tuned and feel free to send your comments and/ or ideas to 
>Mike_Forever@hotmail.com.

SNICKER: What do you suppose his website is?
TINA: WWW.Imasickmanthatlikestorapelittlegirlsandforestanimals.com!! 
Keyword: DATELESS!!!
MACKIE: I think Tina needs to lie down.
NATE: Miranda doesn't look too great, either.
MIRANDA: sigh I'm fine. I just want out of here.
RED: Well, Evol's permitting us now, so let's blow.
SNICKER: Don't use that expression, please.
RED: Sorry. . .


	(Everyone exits the laptop. Evol and Dalek greet them.)
EVOL: Well, it looks as though you took that one rather well! Excluding 
the Princess and the woodsprite.

NATE: I don't suppose you kill these authors when you're done with them?

EVOL: Why? They practically work for me! Ha ha ha!!

RED: Yeah, they seem like they'd be good friends of yours.

EVOL: Well, Princess, how was your first day?
	(Miranda punches him multiple times in the face and stomach, 
kicks him in the head twice, and throws him off the desk. Everyone's 
shocked. Miranda brushes her hair to the side.)
MIRANDA: Ahh. . .well, I suppose I'd better get back to Mike's Cabinet. 
I'll see you all again sometime!
	(Miranda leaves.)
MACKIE: Well, that was unexpected.

NATE: I'm sure the readers saw it coming.

MIRANDA: Mackie!! Come with me!! We still have to talk!!

MACKIE: Aww, crap. She remembered. Coming, Highness!!
	(Mackie leaves. The others depart to recover.)
RED: That one actually wasn't too bad.

NATE: Compared to others I've seen. At least the fornicators were mature 
and the same age.

RED: Yeah. I'm gonna take a nap. I'll see you later.

NATE: Can I join you?
	(Antoinette looks back at him with an icy glare.)
RED: Can I break your head off afterwards?

NATE: Whatever floats your boat.
	(Antoinette storms off. Nate shrugs and goes looking for 
Sugihara.)

END


STINGER:
Ayeka began to moan audibly



	That was episode 2 of Mike's Desk Theatre 3000!
	As I was working on this one, I started feeling it was going 
kinda downhill, but after a while it perked up, and now I love it just 
as much as the first one (although I laugh at the first one more). Dang, 
that's pretty egotistical, isn't it?
	Oh, well. Email me with your comments. And, hey, if you have a 
story you'd like to be MDT'ed, send it over and I'll see what I can do! 
Just don't send me a fifty page novel or anything.
	Sayonara!
- Mike