The Lemonade Stand: A 
Totally Innocent Tale 
About Lemons  
by Caligula (of all 
people! Gawd!)  
Dedicated to: 
Caligula (Conceited 
bastard!)
    Sasami sat behind 
a hastily-constructed 
table, elbow planted 
firmly on its 
surface, head resting 
heavily on her palm. 
She was moping, 
watching the forested 
area between the 
Masaki home and the 
Masaki Shrine for any 
signs of life. There 
weren't any, and 
there hadn't been all 
day. Now it was 
nearly four o' clock 
in the afternoon, and 
things weren't 
exactly looking up. 
Ryoko was there with 
her, and now Sasami 
looked up toward 
Ryoko.  
    "Ryoko, this 
lemonade stand idea 
isn't working... 
There just aren't 
many people who come 
out this way..."  
    Ryoko was lying 
stretched, cat-like, 
along the length of 
the frame of the sign 
that stood high above 
the table below. She 
was a humorous sight 
in that lazy state, 
arms and legs draped 
over the side, chin 
resting on the narrow 
plank. Now, she 
craned her neck over 
the side to look back 
down at Sasami, and 
she yawned.  
    "I think you're 
right... but still, 
what choice do we 
have? I mean, we live 
out here in the 
middle of nowhere..."  
    Suddenly, 
inspiration struck, 
and Ryoko snapped her 
fingers triumphantly.  
    "I know!" said 
she, "Let's ask 
Washu! She's bound to 
have something that 
can boost business!"  
    Sasami felt 
convinced that asking 
Washu for help with 
the lemonade stand 
would spell doom for 
all mankind, but 
after several hours 
of waiting for 
customer that 
wouldn't come, she 
was willing to try 
just about anything.  
    "Sure," she said 
with a shrug. "What's 
the worst that could 
happen?" 
*            
*            *
    Luckily, when the 
pair entered the 
house, they managed 
to catch Washu 
tinkering with the 
television, which 
spared them the 
trouble of braving 
the various traps 
which kept uninvited 
guests out of the mad 
scientist's lab.  
    "Ah, Washu, just 
who I wanted to 
see..." Ryoko began 
with a salesman's 
smile.  
    Washu looked up 
from her work on the 
TV, saw the 
unwholesome smile on 
Ryoko's face, and 
braced herself.  
    "Ah, hello, 
Ryoko... Just what 
can mommy do for you 
today?"  
    Ryoko shuffled 
her feet and looked 
around the room, 
feigning innocence. 
Sasami whistled 
innocently behind 
her.  
    "Oh, you know, 
nothing much, 
just..." Then, in one 
excited burst, she 
shouted: "We have a 
lemonade stand and we 
need you to scare up 
some business! Oh, 
pleeease, Washu?"  
    "Yeah, pleeeease, 
Miss Washu?" Sasami 
added with a bit of a 
pout that melted 
Washu's heart.  
    Washu sighed.  
    "Sure... you guys 
are so pitiful, I 
don't think I have a 
choice..."  
    "Yes!" Ryoko and 
Sasami shouted 
simultaneously, and 
the pair shared a 
resounding high-five.  
    "Don't do 
that..." said Washu. 
*            
*            *
    In Washu's 
imposing lab, Ryoko 
and Sasami fidgeted 
impatiently while 
Washu clicked and 
clacked at the 
keyboard of her 
hovering computer 
terminal.  
    "Come on, Washu, 
what's taking so 
long?" groaned Ryoko, 
who was sure that by 
now they'd have to 
wait till tomorrow to 
re-open the stand. 
"Just what are you 
doing, anyway?"  
    Washu paused for 
a second, then tapped 
one last button with 
a resounding click 
before turning around 
to face Ryoko with a 
broad, wicked smile.  
    "There!" she 
announced, "Right 
now, your lemonade 
stand is being 
advertised on every 
television and 
communications 
channel in the 
galaxy, and will be 
for the next three 
hours!" She cackled 
in a demented way 
that made both Ryoko 
and Sasami shiver.  
    "Ah..." Ryoko 
began, 
"Communications 
channels too? That's 
probably going to 
cause alot of 
collisions, and just 
generally wreak havoc 
in space..."  
    Washu shrugged.  
    "When have you 
ever known me to do 
anything halfway?" 
was her only reply. 
*            
*            *
    The next day, 
Sasami woke up bright 
and early as usual, 
and began cooking 
breakfast. Everyone 
else, of course, with 
the possible 
exception of Washu, 
was still asleep, 
when Sasami was 
disturbed by a loud 
and rapid knock at 
the front door.  
    "Hey!" shouted a 
muffled voice just 
outside the door. 
"Just what are you 
people doing in 
there? How about some 
service!"  
    Startled, Sasami 
went to the door and 
opened it, peering 
outside to see what 
all the commotion was 
about...  
    The line 
stretched well into 
the woods, and 
thousands more people 
crowded in on all 
sides. Fights were 
breaking out where 
one's place in line 
came into question. 
Vehicles of all 
types, 
representatives of 
every intelligent 
species, littered the 
ground surrounding 
the Masaki home.  
    Sasami realized 
that she would need 
alot more lemons.