Jason Corona sits at his command post onboard the Starship Lancin, contemplating the latest piece of tripe he read. "Ughh...Tenchi fanfic these days is getting worse. But it is our duty, as MSTers, to sort out the bad fics and beat the living crap out of them. Well, here goes nothing." With that, Jason punches in the names of three other people, none of whom belong to him. MSTer 1: From the Outlaw Star, Gene Starwind. MSTer 2: From the Maverick Hunters, Zero Omega. MSTer 3: From the Tendo School of Martial Arts, Akane Tendo. MSTer 4: From the real world, Jason Corona. (The four MSTers enter the theater conveniently built in the expansive starship. Seating from left to right is Gene, Akane, Jason and Zero.) Tenchi Muyo and it's characters belong to Pioneer Entertainment, Also >Akane: No need for paragraphs! Traits such as being a super sayian >Jason: Oh god, kill me now!! belong to Dbz and Funimation. The only character I own is Blaine. >Akane and Jason: OH GOD KILL ME NOW!!! >Jason: A Tenchi/DBZ SI story? And I thought Sasami lemons were bad! >Gene: *shudder* Tell me we aren't doing any Sasami lemons. >Jason: No. Not yet, anyway ^_^ >Akane: Aww, man! After saying that I give you my FAN FIC!!!! >All: (bored) Yay. Legend: {emotion} [action] (sound) TENCHI MUYO! NO NEED FOR A DIRE SITUATION!! >Jason: No need for another SI fanfic! >Gene: No need for another DBZ crossover! >Akane: No need for another bad Tenchi fanfic author! >Jason: I say Akane wins. >Gene: Yep. >Zero: I have no idea what any of you are talking about. >Jason: (smacks his forehead) I keep forgetting you're from the video game universe. OK, DBZ is a >somewhat popular anime series that's been crossed-over with just about everything and produces some of >the worst SI characters ever. We open on a stormy night >Akane: Well at least this author has SOME creativity. >Jason: Not really. in Washu's laboratory. >Jason:(^_^) Hmm...wonder what they're up to in there... >(Akane mallets Jason) >Akane: PERVERT!! >Jason: (O_o) Owie....... Someone seems to be hooked up to some machinery >(Akane hefts the mallet menacingly in Jason's direction) >Jason: I wasn't gonna say anything! >Akane: Good. that keeps them still alive but, only in a state of a coma. By the bed Ayeka and Ryoko sit and cry. The door to the room flys open and a tall man with long black dread locks and a thick beard also a tail to signify he is of sayian heritage. >Gene: And now begins the crappy part of the fic. >Akane: Isn't it all crappy? >Gene: Good point. >Zero: I have no idea what any of this means. >Jason: Just forget about it. We'll give you a private screening of every anime we can find after this is done. >Zero: Okay. >Gene: Also notice how the author can't spell "saiyan." >Jason: Apparently, the author's spell check is broken. He looks over the person and realizes it is Tenchi fighting for dear life. >Jason: I seriously doubt that. Tenchi is a lot stronger than most people think. >Akane: So Tenchi's dying, and not even an attempt at an explanation why! >Gene: The author must have made this fic suck on purpose. >Akane: That happens a lot. Look at Tank Cop. >(Jason quietly gets up, walks to the back of the theater, and dumps a pitcher of ice water on his head. >Then he sits back down.) >Zero: What the... >Jason: Don't ask. Washu quietly enters and stands by the sayian. >Zero: No need for spelling! >Jason: We did that joke at the beginning of this. >Zero: So? >Jason: (sweatdrop) Nothing. Never mind. Sayian >Zero: There it is again. {Angry}: "How long has he been like this?!! >Gene: Well, ever since the stress of being in all those crappy fics got to him, and he started cutting down >trees with his Lighthawk Sword... >Zero: (singing) I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night, I work all day! >Others: (singing) He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps all night, he works all day! Dang it, if I had been here sooner I could have made a difference!!!" >Jason: How? >Zero: Huh? >Jason: How could a stupid saiyan make a difference? >Akane: (Blaine) I am a saiyan and I am all-powerful! You cannot defeat me! Because, being a super saiyan, >I have powers beyond that of the >average fighter! I am much stronger than you! Therefore, being the >stronger of us, I am able to defeat you, which I will attempt to do as soon as I finish this incredibly long >pre-fight speech! Anyway... >(Jason steals Akane's mallet and beans her over the head with it.) >Jason: SHUT UP!! >Akane: (>_o) Oww... >Gene: Though you have to admit, that is the classic Saiyan fighter. >Jason: True... >Zero: I still don't know what all this is about. >Jason: Like I said, don't worry about it. Washu{Sad}: "There is nothing that I had tried that had made a difference. >All: ........ >Zero: Did anyone understand what was just said? >Jason: Nope. >Akane: Not me. >Gene: Uh-uh. >Zero: Just checking. I thought if I got a hold of you, >Jason: I could strap you to the table and get that sample I've always wanted! >(*BASH!*) Owie........ you...could do something...(Sob)!" >Jason: See? SEE!? Ayeka(Crying): "Blaine?? (sniffle) Is that you?" >Zero: Nope, it's just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! >(all hum the theme from 'Spider-Man') Blaine[slams his fist on the table nearby]: >Jason: And completely shatters it. >Zero: (Blaine) OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE!!!! Stupid table!! OW OW OW OWW!!!!! "Yeah it's me. >Gene:(Blaine) And I have here the most spiffarific kitchen utensiles in the world! They slice, they dice, >they stir, they fry! >(All inch away from Gene.) I want know who had done this?!" >Jason: Yet another sentence my English teacher would have a seizure if she read. Ryoko(Crying): "If you did it would not do you any good! Kagato is just too strong! I dont know he got soo strong!" >Akane: (ditzy Ryoko) And Kagato is, like, soo stupid, and I, umm, wanna, like, kick his butt, and stuff! Blaine nudged the girls aside, he then leans over Tenchi to examine his battered body. >Jason: The ankle bone's connected to the, leg bone, the leg bone's connected to the, hip bone, the hip >bone's...(*BASH!*) Will you STOP THAT!? >Akane: Will you SHUT UP!? >(Jason and Akane glare at each other. Sparks fly from their eyes at each other. Zero and Gene inch away >slowly from them. Akane blinks.) >Jason: YES! I WIN! >(Jason hops around like a little kid) He sees numerable deep gashes with stitches and dried up blood on the floor giving the room a copper, >Gene: (room) Hey you cheap-ass blood! All I get is a copper!? >Zero: (blood) It's all I got, deal with it! >Jason: You guys play too much EverQuest. an IV of blood in Tenchi's wrist. >Jason: Huh? >Akane: Let's read that whole sentence again, shall we? >All: "He sees numerable deep gashes...blah, blah, blah... a copper, an IV of blood in Tenchi's wrist." >Jason: That, my friends, is the epitome of bad grammar. Blaine senses some very faint signals of life. Blaine gets a suprised look on his face and has a idea. Blaine: "That's it! I got it! I know what to do!" >Gene: Cause I'm the SI character, and I AM GOD!! No one can have an idea besides me! >BWAHAHAHAAA!!! >(*BASH!*) >Gene: (O_o) Ow... Washu,Ryoko,& Ayeka: "Do what??" >All: Do the twist! Blaine: "I know how to save Tenchi. We have one of two options." Ryoko: "What is the first?!" Blaine: "We can give Tenchi a interveinious solution of a senzu bean. >Jason: Umm...isn't a senzu bean a bean? >Gene: So why would Tenchi need an "interveinious" solution when he could just eat the bean? >Jason: (blinks) Inter-what? Tragically, I ran out of them." Ayeka:{eager& angry}: "Well, since that idea has been shot down! What is the other idea you had concieved?" >Jason: Look at. The pretty sentence. Fragments in. That line. Washu{intrested}: "Blaine you don't mean??" BLaine >Jason: AnD nOw ThE cApItAlIzAtIoN iS aLl ScReWeD uP tOo. >Zero: Wow! How do you make your voice do that? >Jason: (^_^) It's a gift. {serious}: "Washu... it is the only option I have left. I'm goning to use the Khameahameaha wave attack. >All: (blinks) >Akane: The what? >Jason: I think the author meant the 'Kamehameha Wave.' >Akane: Oh. I have a notion that since Tenchi's energies are for good, though severly depleted, I can concentrate the waves to heal him since they have a extereme effect on evil energies." >Jason: An extereme effect? >Akane: Isn't that 'only works on evil people' spiel just for the Genki Dama? >Jason: Thought so. >All: (think about this for a minute.......) >Gene: So that means... >Akane: Tenchi is... >Jason: SCREWED!!! >All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! Its quite in the room the only thing making any noise is the heart rate monitors beeping. >Zero: (starts making ice cream truck sounds) >Akane: (Washu) The hell is wrong with this thing!? Ryoko breaks the silence with the most important question. >Jason: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Ryoko: "When do we start?" >Jason: (Blaine) Right now. >Gene: Boom chicka bow bow! >(Akane beats the living crap out of both of them.) >Akane: SHUT UP YOU PERVERTS!! >Jason and Gene: (splotches on floor) ....oo........ah......... Blaine: " In the morning. When it clears up. Washu when can you detach these things off of Tenchi?" >Akane: (Washu) Patience, Igor! The time has almost come! >(All inch away from Akane, including the characters in the fic.) Washu: "When you give the word." Blaine: "OK! I want everyone rested! In the morning if one mistake happens, we say good bye to Tenchi." >All: (singing) Bye, bye love! Bye, bye happiness! >-------------------------------------------------------------- >Jason: Is it over? >Zero: Please say it's over. >Akane: Pretty please? >Gene: I can't stand the suspense. That ends Part 1 of the story!! >All: (celebrating) WOO-HOO!!! PARTY!!! If you wanna read more then wait for the next episode NO ROOM FOR MISTAKES! In that you'll find out if Tenchi is brought back to 100%, how Tenchi deals with Kagato >Jason: So from that, we know that Tenchi survives, probably through the author's lame-ass attempt at >knowing his DBZ. with his new found abilities and why Blaine has been mystieriously assimilated to Tenchi!!! But for now HIT ME WITH PRAISE OR PUNISHMENT ON MY FAN FIC (IT"S MY FIRST!!) {evldan@hotmail.com} >All: Oh...we will. We will. >:-) //\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\ //\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\ In the next hour, we find our heroes lounging about the spaceship. Jason is playing The Sims on his computer, Akane is training in the holosims, Gene is piloting the crate, and Zero is back in the theater watching such classic anime as Those Who Hunt Elves and Perfect Blue. Jason: Well, job well done all. Be warned, however. We've only just started. There are many more tripe-filled fics out there, and we will seek out and destroy every one. Be prepared. The worst is yet to come. MSTer's Notes: Well, there you go! The first MST by me, Jason Corona! Be sure to send comments and questions to me at kwoleson@g2a.net So, until we MST again, so long! STINGER: Its quite in the room the only thing making any noise is the heart rate monitors beeping. >Zero: (starts making ice cream truck sounds) >Akane: (Washu) The hell is wrong with this thing!?