In the world we live in, anime is a great medium. And of course, this can lead to fanfics. But not all fics are good. So, an elite group has been chosen to MST these lousy fics: KSAWARRIOR: the leader (Party time!) SCIMITAR TENSHIN: the violent one (Don't push me!) REI AYANAMI: the quiet one (Help me, God.) RYOGA HIBIKI: the stupid one (WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOOOOOWW!!?) XELLOSS METALLIUM: The humorous one (Sore wa himitsu desu!)) FILIA UL COPT: The psychotic one (NAMAGOMI!!) LIME: the innocent one (Ksa, dai suke!) WASABI QUTAMI: the recorder (I choose you!) Together, these six are: KSA AND THE MSTERS! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (note: Yes, I know I said I'd do a Pokemon lemon MSTing, but I can't. Enjoy a visit by my old enemy, Tank Cop. Stop crying! I don't like it anymore than you do!) File 14: Tank Cop Muyo part 3:- Sammy's little secret parts 3&4 Ksa was busy ordering fansubs when it happened. Ritsuko appeared on his main screen, and she was scared. "Ksa, please, you have to help me, he's going to-AAAAIIIIEEE!!" The others arrived as the scream started. On the main view screen, a large brain, encased in glass, appears. "No way," Ksa breathed. "Could it be...?" Rei asked, slightly afraid. Slightly. "Dr. Wheelo." Scimitar stated. "That's right," Wheelo's monotone voice declared. "Now, you know your creator." "Oro?" the MSTers said in unision. "Heh, well, I guess Xelloss, Wasabi and Lime wouldn't know, but the original four may," Wheelo said with a sadistic tone. Xelloss, Lime and Wasabi looked at the traditional four, confused, and worried. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Ksa said. "And frankly, I don't give a damn." He turned around to walk off to his quarters. "I don't expect you to remember me, but do you recall how you started this MSTing group?" Wheelo smirked, or would have, if he had a face. Ksa stopped dead in his tracks. "You sent me the link to 'Sammy's Little Secret'?" he asked Wheelo. *I see,* Rei thought. *Wheelo was the one who started us on this MSTing campaign.* "Heh, glad you now can give me credit." Wheelo said. "I sent Ritsuko to make things worse, but, alas, I guess I have to go back to basics." "Basics?" Scimitar wondered. Xelloss then snapped his fingers. "He's going to send something similiar to 'Sammy's Little Secret'." "Actually," Wheelo said, "it _IS_ 'Sammy's Little Secret'! Part 3 to be exact! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ksa looked to Wasabi. "You track him down, we'll deal with the fic." And with that, the MSTers returned to the theater, to heckle their greatest enemy... Tank Cop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Seating order from right to left:- Ryoga, Rei, Ksa, Lime, Scimitar, and Xelloss in his own chair) Lime: So, who is Tank Cop? Scimitar:(bitterly) Hell with a keyboard. >Disclaimer: You know the drill. AIC and Pioneer made Tenchi Muyo Bla, Bla, Bla! Lime: Ano... isn't there supposed to be 'h's in 'blah'? Xel: Welcome to Tank Cop's world. >Man that was a waste of time. Ksa: Actually, it keeps your work from being considered material for a lawsuit, but since you're a poor baka, I guess that doesn't matter to you. >Now I have to tell you little kids out there not to read my fic because your not >18 yet...Ah what the Hell its America. Go ahead and read it. You have to learn >sometime. Ksa, Scimitar, Rei, Ryoga:(facefault) Xel: And people wonder why the TMFFA had to move the lemons out of the main archive. ^_^ Lime:(sweatdrop) >Time Note: This takes please one day after Sammy Little Secret 1. Rei:(getting back in her seat) Not that it matters anything to the plot. Ryoga:(getting back up) It might. Ksa: That'd be a first for Tank Cop. >by Tank Cop ^_^ Ksa:(old geezer) EVIL! >Sammys Little Secret 3: Scimitar: This time, it's personal! >For The Love of Misao (Ksa, Scimitar, Xelloss, Rei and Ryoga start laughing their head's off) Lime:(large sweatdrop) Um, what's so funny? Scimitar: As if there's such a thing as love in a Tank Cop lemon! HAHAHAHA!! >-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Misao is walking home from school as usual. Xel:(narrator) We've replaced Misao's home with Folger's crystals. Let's see if she notices the difference. >But on this day her friend Sasami >is not with her. "I sure hope Sasami gets better soon. I hate it when she's >sick." Ryoga: Blame Tank Cop. He contrived her into it. >Misao is unaware that Sasami is not sick, she just very tired. (we know >why don't we. ^_^) Ksa:(restraining himself) Yes, and it haunts me every night. Tank Cop, you b**tard! Rei:(ditto) That's the fic that broke my emotional wall, allowing me to feel, especially, to feel RAGE! >As she gets closer to home the weather gets much colder and the clouds start to >get darker. Scimitar: It's a divine warning to Misao. Lime: What does it say? Scimitar:(divine sign) DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE! TANK COP IS SETTING UP YOUR LEMONY DOOM! >"Looks like a storms on the way." Xel: It may rain enough apostrophes to insert where needed. Ksa: Let's not start that joke up again. >Misao said in her usual low and >sad voice. Rei: We've just gone from present tense to past tense in one paragraph. Ryoga: It's confirmed. This is a Tank Cop fic. >She had just arrived home when it started to rain. As she walked down the >hallway she saw a message on her answering machine. She turned it on to hear >her mother. "Hi Honny. Lime:(Misao) Whoops, Mom dialed the wrong number. >I'm not going to be home till really late tonight, >sorry. There's a T.V. dinner in the frig for you. Rei:(Misao's mother) The frig's right next to the fridge, dear. >Don't forget to do your >homework. I love you, good bye." Misao stood there for a minute in silence. >She ate her dinner, and did her homework. Scimitar: All in one minute? Damn, that girl is quick. >Then it was time to take a bath. She >pulls off her school shirt. Ksa: Tank Cop, could you please choose a tense, and stick with it?! >Then slides off her skirt. She stands there in her >underwear. She was about to take them off when she heard a tapping coming from >out side her window. Xel:(Happosai) PANTIES! (The others, except Lime, jump in the air, screaming. They then land back their seats, panting) Ryoga: *PANT!* You do that- *WHEEZE!* TOO DAMN WELL! >She goes over the window, Lime: She went to the window in her underwear? >opens it, Lime:(continuing from her previous comment) And she opened it?! Ksa:(Borg) I am Tank Cop. Plot is irrelevant. Common sense no longer exists. You shall be badly written in a horrible lemon. >and see a familiar >face. Scimitar: I don't see it. Do you guys? Others:(shake their heads) >"Pretty bird! Hello birdy. Do you have a song to sing to me?" Misao >said with a smile. Ksa:(Rumiya) Well, I've never sang you anything before, but ok... >Rumiya sits on the window ledge and starts to sing a sweet song. (sing a song >you like to get the idea) Scimitar: A reason why Tank Cop must never direct a movie. Rei:(singing) My heart will, go on... Ksa: Puh-leeze! It's Tank Cop. What we need, is a little "bump-bow-chit-kwa"! >Misao is very taken by the song Ryoga:(policeman) Alright, song! Put down the girl, and your death shall not hurt. _Much_. >and puts her arm out >and lets Rumiya sit on it. "You want to come in birdy?" Misao asks. Xel:(Rumiya) What, now? What about the so-called plot? (Lime notices that no one has hit Xelloss yet) Lime: Ano... Why is Xelloss-san still...? Rei:(to Lime) Because frankly, we can't argue with him this time. >Rumiya >nods his head. "Ok. Poor birdy out in the cold rain. Come inside where its >nice and warm." Ksa:(crossing fingers) Please let her mean the house, oh please... Rei:(hears an ominous thundercloud) Great, now we're jinxed to have a horrible story. >Misao takes him in the house. "I have to take a bath now >birdy, do you want to come in and sing while I'm in the tub?" Scimitar & Ryoga: @_@ The run-ons, the horrible run-ons... Lime: She's the one that makes out in this lemon? Ksa:(shaking head, while crying) Yes. Rei: Tank Cop has a rather abnormal fetish for this kinda lemon. >Rumiya was over >joyed. He nodded his head, yes. Ksa: So, how do you nod your head for "no"? Xel: Like this... (What Xelloss does, although it gets the point across, is too horrible to describe here) Ksa:(turning green) How can you stand that? Xel: Oh, I enjoy it a lot! ^_^ >Misao walks into the bathroom with Rumiya still on her arm. Rei:(narrator) Today, on Tank Cop's perverted mind, we'll see the x-over you dreaded. A Sammy's Little Secret/Birds/Psycho lemon in tribute to Alfred Hitchcock. Scimitar:(ditto) Mr. Hitchcock, however, is planning to destroy the Cop very soon. >Ok birdy you go sit >over there on the end of the tub where you can see me and I can see you." Rei:(Police dispatcher) Warning, warning! The suspected fic is entering the Unlikely Zone! >Rumiya was more then happy to do it. He flys over to the end of the tub and >watchs as Misao get out of her underwear! Lime:(to Ksa) Ksa, why are there exclamation marks? Ksa:(whispers in Lime's ear) Lime:(cringes, and grabs Ksa in fear) Ksa:(blushing) Well, it's my own theory on T.C. >He watchs as she unhooks her bra. Xel: What bra? Lina is Mai Shiranui compared to her. >Rmuiya's eyes widen as Misao's bra fall on the floor! Scimitar:(Hippy Rumiya) Whoa, gravity! Totally trippy man. >Her breasts are very >nicely shaped, firm, with bright pink nipples! Lime: But, she's only a little girl... Rei:(to Lime) This is what we call "lolita syndrome exageration", or in Tank Cop's case, "B.S.". >Then she proceeded to take off >her panties! Rumiya was over taken by the excitement. Ryoga:(sighing, not even with a nosebleed) Geez, after Sasami, you'd think he'd have gotten over that premature ejaculation problem. Scimitar:(shocked) Ryoga! I didn't think you had it in you! >"What is it birdy? You >want some food? Xel:(Hungry Dexter as Rumiya) I must partake of pus- Scimitar:(charging up a ki blast) Finish the sentence. I dare you. >I'll get you something after my bath, ok?" She then slides off >her panties! Ryoga: INTENSE LOLITA STRIPPING ACTION! >Rumiya's little bird nose nearly bleeds at the site of her young, >yet wet, pussy! Rei: How is it wet, if she hasn't gotten in the bath yet? Scimitar: You're thinking about the story again, Rei. Lime: But, she's only a child! Why- Ksa:(holds up a copy of past MSTings) It's not the first time he's done this. >She then turns the waer on. Xel:(deep voice) Welcome, to Waerworld. Ksa: After the planet's water supply ended, waer became the latest craze. Ryoga: Hmmm, do you think waer activates Jusenkyo curses? Xel:(holds up a bucket of ice waer) Let's see! (splashes Ryoga) Ryoga:(still human, but cold and soaked) That wasn't funny! (notices) Hey, I'm still human. Scimitar:(to Xelloss) Where'd you get that? Xel: Sore wa, himitsu desu! ^_^ >After it get fills up with warm water she gets in. >"AAAHHH, this is so soothing!" Misao says. Rumiya was too occupied to hear >her. He was more taken looking at her young body soaking in the tub. The steam >rising, the water dripping from her breasts. Ksa: What breasts? Rei: We've killed that joke with the rest of this series. Ksa: I know, but I had to say it just once. Xel: Hell, Lina is _Pamela Anderson_ compared to her! >It was too much. He couldn't take >much more, he was going to explode! Xel: Sheesh, such low tolerance. If I was there, I would have made love to her five times, then, possibly, I might have- (Ksa has Lime's ears covered. Ryoga is glaring at Xelloss. Rei has decided to just ignore him. As for Scimitar...) Scimitar: Ten Ookami no Honou- Xel: Yare yare! Fine, I'll stop. >"Birdy why aren't you singing? If there's >anything else you want to do you can do it." Misao said. Ksa: Lo, and the girl shall seal her doom with a few words... Rei: Lo, and I am going to jab certain EVA weapons into certain areas of Tank Cop's body, just to shut him up for awhile. >That was all Rumiya >need to hear. He took that time to change into a boy! >Misao was scared! Ryoga:(hand above eyes, like he's staring at something far away) Can it be? Scimitar:(ditto) Is it...? Ksa: Might it just be...? >"OH MY GOD! NO YOU KEEP AWAY FROM ME YOU PEVERT! Rei: AN ACTUAL IN-CHARACTER MOMENT IN A TANK COP FIC!? DEAR GOD! (Xelloss picks up his staff, and leads the others into a chorus) All:(musical) THAAAAAAAANK.... YOOOOOOOUUUUUU...... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD! >I'M NOT >GOING TO LET YOU RAPE ME!" Xel:(putting his staff away) I doubt that he has the equipment to do so. Ksa: T_T In Tank Cop's world, he does. >She ran naked out of the bathroom. (Ryoga turns away in disgust. Scimitar starts glowing, in resonance to Ksa's aura. Rei has picked up an Urusei Yatsura manga and began to read) >Rumiya ran after >her. She ran to her room and was just about to shut the door when Rumiya >grabbed her and shut the door behind him. He took of both Misao's arms and held >her tight. "please Misao lissen to me. Scimitar:(Hick Rumiya) I'm just gonna put my whooey wacker in your cha cha! (Ksa reaches behind Lime and whaps Scimitar over the head) Scimitar: Itaiii... What was that for!? Ksa: Don't get as bad as the fic! >I'm not going to rape you. I just want >to give you something?" Ryoga:(Rumiya) Are you sure that's my line? Ksa:(dumb Tank Cop) Duh, yeah yeah! That be the one, that be the one! Rei:(Snotty Misao) Jeez, to think this is the best gig my agent could get me.... >Rumiya tells her. But Misao scared out of mind dosen't >lissen. " NO, LET ME GO, HHHEEELLLPPP! PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME! I'LL GIVE YOU >ANYTHING, JUST DON'T RAPE ME!" Rumiya then give Misao what he came All: Ewww! Xel: Jeez, you'd think he'd have given a warning before doing that... >to give her. >A opened mouth kiss! Rei: That's it? Ksa: No pedophile lemon scene? Scimitar: No abnormal fetishes? Ryoga: Nothing to make me throw up? Xel: I do believe Tank Cop must be softening up. >But it was not just any kiss, but a Magic Kiss! Rei: You cand tell by the capitals, it was one helluva kiss! >As Rumiya kiss Misao Ryoga: Hey, Shampoo's narrating. >her entire >body was covered with a bright blue energy. It was so bright it lite up the >whole house! Rei:(old woman) Are you constructing bombs? Ksa:(Rumiya) No. Rei:(old woman) Are you building an Interociter? Ksa:(Rumiya) No! >The magic was doing more inside then outside. Misao and Misao >were becoming one. Ksa: THEY WERE ONE TO BEGIN WITH, YOU PATHETIC BAKA! Xel: I think that was a type-o. Scimitar:(to Xelloss) Does that make the story any better? >One mind, one body, one soul. All that was Misa was >becoming Misao. Then it was over after a minute. But to Misao it seemed like >forever. Rumiya stopped kissing her and back away. Ksa:(Rumiya) Whoa, what was I thinking? Damn OOCitis! >Misao looked at Rumiya for a moment. "I..I know you. Your Rumiya." Rei: He's whose Rumiya? Ksa: Last time he was in this show, he was Sasami's. Scimitar: You were paying attention?! Ksa: I didn't want to watch... yet I couldn't turn away! >Rumiya >nodded. Xel:(Rumiya) Yep, I'm your Rumiya! ^_^ Scimitar:(charging up a blast) Shut up Xelloss. Xel: Make me. ^_^ >Yes, so you do have all of Misa's memorys. Rei: Sadly, since she didn't have Misa's memories, Rumiya was beaten to a pulp by her. Lime: Who's talking? Ksa:(patting her on the shoulder) It's almost over. >You aslo have all her >powers. You are also free of my sister Ramia's power over your mind." Ryoga: That's too many "also's" to believe. >Misao >look at him with joy. Xel:(Misao) No! I don't wanna! I wanna kill him! WAAAAAAAAHHH!! Others: O_O;; Xel:(back to normal) What's wrong? Rei: How do you do her voice so well? (Xelloss begins to open his mouth, when...) Ksa, Lime & Scimitar:(Xelloss) Sore wa himitsu desu! ^_^ Xel:(eyebrow twitching) Now, wait just a min- (Ksa & Scimitar go giant-head mode) Ksa: You were saying? Scimitar:(cracking knuckles) Please, continue. ^_^ Xel: Nevermind. Right now, it's not worth it. >"You mean I'm free!" Lime:(singing) I want to live, like, magic girls, careless and free! Ksa:(clapping) Beautiful Lime-chan! Beautiful! Others: -_-;; He likes her. >"Yes you are." Rumiya replyed. >"Now I have to go. Me and Sammy are going to stop my sister and end this >stupied war. Scimitar: Or, you could have just gone to Tsunami, told her the whole thing, and let her deal with Ramiya. Then, we'd never have _THE FIRST DAMN PART OF THIS SERIES, THEREFORE ELIMANTING ALL OTHER CHAPTERS!_ *huff!* *wheeze!* Xel & Ksa:(clapping) Rei:(announcer) And the best rant-man of the group award goes to- Drumroll please. (Ryoga starts to tap the ground with his umbrella, which he grabbed from hyperspace) Rei: It's- Oh, Lime, you say it. Lime: Say wha-? Oh. IT'S SCIMI-CHAN! (Scimitar gets up and bows, while Wasabi, who finally managed to get back into the control booth, has played a clapping track) Xel:(after Scimitar takes his seat) And now back to our lemon! ^_^ Ksa: Is this actually a lemon? So far, it's just been bad, not T.C.'s usually load of- Rei: Sorry, but we can't bash authors as much as we used to. Ksa:(muttering) Damn SVAM rules... (a crash is heard) Scimitar:(to Lime) Lime, that is known as the fourth wall breaking. Lime:(happy) Thank you for telling me, Scimi-chan. ^_^ Scimitar:(sighing) It's hopeless. >Well good bye Misao." Just as Rumiya is about to leave Misao >grabes him by the arm. Scimitar: How do you grabe someone? Ryoga:(realisation) Oh crap. Looks like we're getting a lemon part after all. >"Wait. Please I need you to do something for me?" Rei:(Misao) Is that the line? You sure? Ok, although I think that this is bullsh*t. >Misao asks. Rumiya looks at her. "What do you want me to do?" Rumiya asks. Ksa:(crossing fingers) Don't have sex, don't have sex, _puh-leeze_ don't have sex! >"Make Love to me!" Misao asks. Ksa:(facefaults) Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?! >Rumiya is stunned. "Look Misao I know this is a stange new world your >experiencing but I can't make love to you if this is just some old feeling of >Misa's and not yours." Rumiya said. Rei: More liked blurted, then actually said. Ksa: @_@ Run-ons... making head... spinny all over... Scimitar:(ignoring Ksa) That's right, Rumiya, keep thinking that! >Misao walks over to Rumiya and gives him a >hug. "Misa is one with me now. Xel:(Sean Connery) For in the end, there can be only one. >Her feeling are mine, Lime:(Misao) And guess what? We both don't like you! (sticks tongue out) B'EEEED! >but I'm in control of my >own thoughts and my thoughts say to do it and do it good!" All: ............... O_O;; Ksa: The hell!? Scimitar: NANI!?! Rei: We've just crossed into the Thinker zone, ladies and gentlemen. Ryoga:(beating his head on the chair infront of him) WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!?! Lime: Her thoughts are telling her to do things? She's not actually thinking to do it, but being told? Ksa: HEY! TANK COP! THAT KINDA MEANS THAT MISAO'S BEING INFLUENCED AT LEAST BY MISA!! Xel: Oh dear, it's getting worse with this guy. >Rumiya then moves >his hands down to Misao's butt and starts to rub it! Rei: SLAP! (as Misao) HENTAI! Ksa:(ditto) MORESO THAN USUAL! >"Misao if this is what you >want you I'll do it, you see I have alway loved you. Scimitar: "I have alway loved you"? Um, can I buy an "S"? Rei: And, Sasami doesn't ring any bells? Ksa: Technically, I think, he never said he loved her. Only Ryo-Ohki said that an- ACK! I'm actually remembering this crap?! DAMN YOU TANK COP! >I love you even more then >I could ever love anyone. Not even Sammy comes close to you. Xel: That's because she's in her own house, which would mean she'd have to _come_ through walls, a good distance, and some more walls to get close to Mis- *KA-BAM!* (Ksa and Scimitar have both leapt into the air, and came down foot-first on Xelloss's head) Ksa:(taking his seat again) One more word, and I'll send you to another dimension! Xel:(head re-inflating) Were you censored? Ksa:(does a double-take) DAMMIT! >But if I do make >love to you I will be taking a very importanting from you, your verginity." Rei: So long as he doesn't take her virginity, we're safe. Ksa:(softly) Type-o, type-o, type-o... Rei:(grabbing Ksa by his hair, and lifting him up, although he's taller than her) Can't I at least have some little shred of hope? Ksa:(trying to get free) Sure, sure, just drop me please... (Rei lets him go. They both take their seats) >Misao looks Rumiya in the eyes. "Yes I know. But if I'm going to give it to >anyone, then I will give it to you. The one I love." Ryoga:(as the characters of the lemon) Blah blah blah, love, blah blah blah, I care, let's make out! (others look at him oddly) Don't most lemons follow a pattern like that? Others:(think about it, then nod) >Rumiya then kisses Misao again Misao again. Xel: Tank Cop presents a Department of Redundancy Department production. >All the while Rumiya's hands are >still holding Misao's ass! Rumiya then stops kissing her, picks her up and >carrys her to the bed. Ksa: Which must have been hard, considering she's been butt-naked and wet this whole time. Scimitar: Aw please! The amount of time they were talking, her skin probably absorbed all the moisture. Ksa: You think so? Scimitar: Actually, I just made that up. Ksa:(facefaults) >Where he proceeds to take off his clothes. atfer three >minutes he is also naked. Ryoga: Three minutes? Rei: He does wear a cape, some pants, those boot things, and- Lime: Can't he just magically get rid of them? (Scimitar draws his blade along her neck) Scimitar: Please, don't give the author any ideas. *BAM!* (Scimitar reels back, as Ksa retracts his fist) Scimitar: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!? Ksa: You try that again with her, and I'll do worse. Xel:(singing) Ksa and Lime, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! *BOOM!* (Ksa watches as his Kamehameha throws Xelloss into the wall, which he bounces off, then after hitting the ceiling, the Trickster Priest falls back into his chair) Ksa:(growling) Everyone have to be so annoying, razafrackin'durndurty.... >Then he sits on the bed next to Misao. "Now Misao >I'm going to teach you so forpaly before we have sex. Xel:(regenerated) Tank Cop learned something new from his girlfriend before he wrote this. ^_^ Scimitar: If he actually has a girlfriend, I'm surprised she doesn't turn him in to the police. >First off I'm going to >spank you! Rei:(growling slightly) Yes, we all know how much he loves spankings, don't we? Ryoga: What's with her? Ksa: Tank Cop wrote an EVA lemon of her and Asuka, where the million dollar word was "SPANK". >I know how that sounds but I will not use anything but my hand and I >will only hit you ten times. Scimitar:(flatly) Only _ten_? Ksa:(ditto) Oh joy. Ryoga:(writing down on a notepad) Kill Tank Cop, after giving him to offended females and parents. >Now come on get over my lap." At first Misao was >very shy and didn't want to. Ksa: If Misao's now one and the same with Misa, aka Nahga the Dominatrix Queen of Darkness's illegitamate daughter, I doubt that "shy" could ever be used to describe her again. >Then she took a deep breath and layed over >Rumiya's lap. Scimitar:(British accent, singing) Gettin' laid, gettin' laid, gettin' laid! Ksa:(sinking into his seat lower) Never, EVER, am I taking you guys with me to England again! >As she lad there Ksa: Arc the Lad? Where? >she could feel his dick poking at her gut. Ryoga: Hey, Scimitar? Scimitar: Yes, Ryoga? Ryoga: Is all Tank Cop's male characters lacking the Aura of Smooth a good thing, or a bad thing? Scimitar: Oooh, tough question... >It >made her want it inside of her even more. Rumiya then layed his hand on her >back to hold her in plase and stard to spank her. All:(blink, blink) Rei: Sweet god, the spelling's gotten worse. Xel:(King Arthur) I hereby dub thee, Tank Cop, heir to Dr. Thinker and Issei Mataloun's grammar. >*SPANK* "Your a dirty *SPANK* >little slut *SPANK* Misao! When I say *SPANK* to do something *SPANK* you will >*SPANK* do it, understand!" Rei:(Sarcastic Misao) Oh, Rumiya, you say the nicest things. *yawn!* >Misao nods her head as she holds the tears back. >Rumiya gives Misao for more hard spanks. *SPANK, SPANK, SPANK, SPANK* Xel:(counting) Hmm, well, Tank Cop's not a complete fool. Rei: How can you tell? Xel: He actually can count. (points at screen) See, ten spanks. ^_^ Others: *groan!* >Then he >lets Misao off his lap. "How did that make you feel Misao. Did it feel sexy." >Rumiya asked. Scimitar: I, for one, find nothing sexy about pain. Ksa: I agree. Ryoga: Me too. Rei: I've never found it good, so I'm with you. Lime: Pain hurts, so it can't be nice. (they all wait a few seconds. They look to Xelloss for his reply) Xel:(evil grin) Others: O_O;; No way... Xel: Sore wa himitsu desu. ^_~ >"Yes it did. Do it again!" Misao asked. All: O_O;; Scimitar: I really am thinking about forwarding his stories to the authorities. >"Maybe later." Rumiya >answered. "Time to move on to the next thing." >He then runs his hands over her chest and the takes hold of her tits. Rei: Whatever of them there actually is. >He twists >then and pulls on them. "OOOOOOOWWWWWW! Rumiya it hurt!" Misao begs. Ryoga: Wow, Shampoo is really getting around nowadays. Pre-reader, editor, actress, and all for Tank Cop of all people. >"I know >Misao but it will feel good soon." Rei: I don't think stuff like that ever does feel good. Lime:(staring at Ksa sadly) I wouldn't know... Ksa:(thinking) God almighty, why is she so attracted to me? Xel:(ditto) Because you, as an Author Avatar, have an Aura of Smooth. Scimitar:(ditto) Hey, I don't have one. Rei:(ditto) You're defective. Ryoga:(ditto) Hey, how are we all doing this. Xel:(ditto) If I'd answer, you'd all kill me. ^_^ >He the opened his mouth and started to suck >on her right breast. Ksa:(out loud) Rumiya, abandoned as a child, never was breastfed. Ryoga: Hey, whatever did happen to his parents? Rei: Better question. Whose genes can actually produce offspring like Ramia and Rumiya. >He countuied this until Misao asked a favor of him. >"Rumiya can you please bite my nipple. Make it hurt alot!" All: O_O;;;;;;;; Scimitar: We're officially in Hell. Rei: Again. >Rumiya gave a >smile. "Of course I will do it." Rumiya replyed. He proceded to bite down >hard on her right nipple while tiwisting and pulling on the lift one with his >hand! Ksa: Who wants to nitpick? (Rei, Ksa and Xelloss raise their hands) Scimitar & Ryoga:(chanting) Xelloss, Xelloss... Xel:(bows a few times) Ok... *Ahem!* Three type-o's, wrong use of an exclamation mark, and a run-on in a pear tree! (the others clap) >"OOOOOHHHHH YYYYYEEEEEESSSS!" Misao moaned. Rei:(to Xelloss) Snake spell? Xel: As good an excuse. >Then Rumiya still holding >the nipple with his teeth pulled on her breast as far as it could go, and then >let go. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH" Misao was over take with pleasure! Lime:(hick Misao) I'm going to be over take that thar pleasure! >Five minutes later. All: That's it? Ksa: Is it actually over? >Rumiya moved to Misao's pussy. Ksa: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Rei:(large sweatdrop) I knew it was too good to be true. Xel: Well, I hope his furniture will fit. Scimitar: What? Xel: Well, Rumiya is moving to Misao's pussy, so I thought that it might hurt have a houseload of furniture there. Others:(turn green, then red, then all facefault) Xel:(blows on his finger like it was a gun) Freakiest comments west of Sairaag! ^_^ >"My your a fast one aren't >you?" Misao said. "I'm not going to fuck you yet. I'm just going to finger >fuck you first! It will feel good!" With that Rumiya put two fingers into her >little love box! Scimitar:(recovering) Be sure to donate all money in the love box. Others: Ewww! >Moving the fingers in and out! Ksa: STOP GETTING HORNY OVER THIS, SICKO! >Going faster and faster. >Later on her shoves two more finger from his other hand into her hole. Then the >opens her pussy as wide as it can go, even a little to far! >"OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEE! STOP YOUR STRETCHING IT TO FAR!" Misao cries. Ksa:(narrator) Wonderin' how to feed the kids tonight? Rei:(concerned mom) Gee, what'll I feed the kids tonight. >"relax >Misao, it I will make you feel good in a second." Rumiya then lowers his head >to the opening and start to like her pussy. All: *whew!* Ryoga: So long as he isn't licking her pussy, I'm happy. >Misao is so taken by this that it >only takes a minute for her to cum! "OH GOD YES!" She screams as a flood of >cum comes pouring into Rumiya's face and mouth. Rumiya likes up as much as he >can. Xel: Gee, the boy sure is enjoying himself. ^_^ Scimitar: Stop playing off of T.C.'s inability to use a spellchecker. >"Now that a good girl. Is that the fisrt time you have ever cum?" Lime:(Misao) No, it's not the fisrt time I've cummed. However, it's the first time I've cummed. Others:(staring in shock at Lime) ........... >Rumiya >asks. "Yes it is. Can you make me cum again?" Misao asks. Rumiya with cum on >his face is now showing an evil grin. All but Lime:(old geezer) EVIL! Lime: Huh? Rei:(to Lime) Don't ask. >"What say we get right down to it. Its >time for me to fuck you!" >"Ok Misao, I'm going to take your viriganty now, it will hurt, are you ready?" >Rumiya asks. "Yes." Misao says. Scimitar: "Shall we kill him?" Scimitar asks. Others: "Of course." the others say. >Rumiya then lies on top of Misao and slowly >slides his penis into Misao's wet pussy! Ksa:(makes a noise that an irritated cat would make) MEROOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!! Others: O_O;; Scimitar: That, was probably, the sickest joke you ever made- *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!* (the headless Xelloss falls to the ground with a "THUNK". Lime stares at him with vertical lines coming from her eyes. The others, however, shug, and continue) Rei: Now see what you did? We'll be cleaning Mazoku-head pieces out of here for a loooong time. >"OH RUMIYA!" Misao cries. Ksa:(terrified) OH SWEET GOD! Rei:(bored) Oh please. Ryoga:(stifling a nosebleed) Oh my. Lime:(confused, and staring at the regenerating Xelloss) Oh, Ksa...? Xel:(fully regenerated) OH! MY GODDESS! Scimitar:(nails Xelloss over the head with a mallet) IT'S MEGAMI-SAMA! [Ksa's note: Gomen, Megane. I couldn't help it.] >Then >Rmuiya Rei: Twisted clone of Rumiya. >fits his whole penis in her pussy! Scimitar:(slams his gauntlets against each other) *CLANG!* Rei:(Marion) Oh, forgot about that. My chastity belt. It's an everlast. Ksa:(hurt Robin) No.. kidding. Ryoga: Didn't we already use that. Ksa:(big teary eyes) But it's one of my favorites. >The he starts to move in and out, Lime: The what? Scimitar:(Brooklyn accent) Y'know. The guy. Xel:(ditto) What guy? Scimitar:(ditto) The guy, from the thing! Xel:(ditto) From the second thing? Scimitar:(ditto) What second thing? There's only one thing! Xel:(ditto) How can we talk about the first thing if we won't talk about the second thing. Ryoga: The "Analyse This" skit, everyone. >gong up and down on her. Xel:(makes noise like hitting a gong) > Moving faster and faster! Ksa:(deep voice) Faster than the Flash's sperm! Rei:(ditto) More impregnating than a stereotypical high school jock! Xel:(ditto) Able to ejaculate in a single push! ^_^ Others: Ewww! >Rumiya fucks Misao for a >good ten minutes! Ksa: At least it isn't, as my brother MSTer, Psychomatic Poet, puts it, "A FUCK-A-MINUTE FUCK-A- THON!" Rei: How is it not? Ksa: No "SPLUUUUUUURRRTT!", no incest, at least, not yet.... >He had been very carful not to break her hymen yet. But noe Scimitar: -Larry and Curly. >it was time. "Does is fell good Misao? Beg if you want me to make you cum >again If you want me to take your viriganty!" Rumiya tells Misao. Ryoga: So long as it ain't virginaty being taken, I'm happy. >Misao being >half way to an orgasm already, starts to beg. Lime:(begging Misao) Woof! Arf arf! Bow wow! Ksa:(patting her on the head) Good girl. You get a cookie. (gives her a treat [not that, hentai]) Scimitar: O_O;; There's a sexual harassment law in there somewhere. >"Please make me cum Rumiya! >Please I want you to take my womanhood. Rei: YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN, THOUGH! YOU'RE STILL JUST A LITTLE KID! DAMMIT TANK COP, LEAVE THE INNOCENT UNTAINTED! (collapses into deep breathes) *huff!* *wheeze!* >To make me yours. Xel:(heating up a cattle brand) Then you're going to need this. Others: O_O;; Ksa: Where'd you get the brand? And the heat for it, for that matter? Xel: ^_~ Sore wa himitsu desu! Ksa: O_O;;;;;;;; >I want to cum inside >of you and I want you to cum inside of me!" Ksa: Alright, not that I'm going to argue perverted facts here, but- (drags out diagrams) There is no way a girl can cum inside a guy. Only the guy can cum inside the girl. (Rei, Ryoga, and Scimitar elbow Ksa in the head) All but Xel and Lime: HENTAI! Ksa: Ouchies..... >Misao begged with tears in her >eyes. "Ok Misao here I go!" With that he thrusted his dick throw her hymen! Xel:(dick) Go long! Scimitar:(trying not to laugh at the double joke) >"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" Misao screamed in pain! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Rei: HE FINALLY KILLED SOMEONE! Ryoga: Can we get him arrested for it? Ksa: Probably not. >As they contiuned a stream of blood >and cum leaked out of Misao pussy and down her legs. (Ksa, Ryoga, Scimitar and Rei are stunned) Ryoga: You mean he finally managed to get the reality of the situation in the story? Ksa: That's a first for him! >"Rumiya...I'm going to cum!" Misao saind as she came. Rei:(Pee Wee Herman) Today's special word is "saind"! Heh heh! >Cum was seeping out the >sides of her pussy. Ryoga: But, I thought that there was only a hole, so how ca- *KA-BONG!* Rei:(pulling back her elbow, her face beet red) Bakabakabakabaka... >"Where not done yet Misao. I still have to cum!" Lime:(standing up suddenly) YOU'VE GOT YOUR RIGHT HAND FOR THAT! AND THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO, TANK COP! AND IF I FIND YOU, I'M GONNA KILL YOU IN WAYS THAT EVEN BLOODBERRY WOULDN'T DARE DREAM UP!! Others: O_O;;; Xel: Well, that was interesting. >Rumiyasaid. It took just five more minutes of fucking to make Rumiya cum. >Then it was over. All:(bored) Yay. >"Rumiya that was the most greats experinece of my life. Thank you." Scimitar: She's so fucked up, *literally*, that she can't speak properly anymore. >Misao >said. Rumiya then removed his penis and lies next to Misao in bed. "Rumiya I >want you to promise me that when I wake up in the moring that you will still be >here in this bed with me." Misao asks. "Oh I will Miso, I promise." Rumiya >answers. Rei: That's, oddly sweet, for a Tank Cop lead male. Ksa: I bet you a couple million tons of gold, he disappears, goes tell his friends what a great lay she was, then comes back just before she wakes up. >"And promise too that you will stay with me and never ever leave me." >Misao asks. "I promise I will never leave you. I will never leave the girl >that I love with all my heart ans soul." Scimitar:(Rumiya) Whatever Sasami says is a lie, though. >END! All: ABOUT TIME! >(for now! ^_^) All:(old geezer) EVIL! >--------------------------------------------------- >I would just like to say somthing rith now on why I made a Pretty Sammy Lemon >series. Ryoga:(Tank Cop) I'm a sick pedophile, who should be shot on sight. The preffered gunmen should be- Ksa: Me, K'thardin, Peter Suzuki, Psychomatic Poet, and Samantha from Jolt's MSTings. >I never planed on making this story into a series. Rei: Should we even bother with the spelling? Ksa: Nah, we all know he's been held back to kindergarten. >I ment it to be a >one shot deal. Ryoga: We would have prefered it not to have existed at all. >But after seeing my work MSTed (and that you for that >Ksawarrior) Others:(stare at Ksa intensely) Ksa: If the idiot takes a blatant reply to his story, that is, to stop writing all together as encouragment, then *he's* the one with problems, not me. Scimitar: Actually, we were wondering what he was saying to you. Ksa: Do I look like I speak Tank Cop? >and the two MISAO awards I got, Ksa:(outraged) He took those in pride!? Those are the worst things you can get in Tenchi fanficdom! Scimitar: Um, Ksa-? Ksa: AND IT'S MISA AWARDS! STANDING FOR "My Ideas Suck Ass"!! GO TO K'THARDIN'S PAGE AND READ IT FOR YOURSELF! >not to metion all the fan letters >(yes I got fan letters) Rei: They don't count if they come from yourself, you know. Scimitar: And people he paid. Xel: And little kids he forced into saying it. >made me think why not do a Series. Ryoga: Because it may be stupid? >So I did. Ryoga: And it was. >And >that's how it all started. Well mainly because of Ksawarrior's MST's. Ksa: Oh, I am *so* going to be flamed if someone takes him seriously. >Here's a preview of the next fic. That I call. Scimitar: Hey, T.C.'s mutating into a Crypt Keeper/Shatner mix. >Sammys Little Secret 4: More >Then Just Friends. Rei:(realisation) Oh no... >In the next episode. The four of them Ryo-Ohki, Misao, >Sasami, and Rumiya Ksa:(dumb Tank Cop) Duh, that be four, right? >will meet to and talk about what to do about Ramia. Scimitar: How about, you just tell Tsunami, and not involve sex at all? 'kay? >There >will also be a Lez sceen between Misao and Sasami! All: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Ryoga: Didn't Vegita teach you!? That always makes the situation worse!! >^_^ All:(old geezer) EVIL! >Util then. Ksa:(Tank Cop) Make sure you have lots of e-mail bombs for me, because I know you'll want to send 'em! >"May The Hentai Force Be With You!" Ksa:(charging up) You also insult Star Wars?! That's it, he's dead. >Tank Cop ^_~ (they all leave) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The group reconvine with Wasabi, who's in the bridge, and Wheelo, who's on the monitor. "So, is your sanity cracking yet?" Wheelo asked. "No, but our tempers got shorter, thank you very much." Ksa replied. "So, not bad at all?" Wheelo asked. Rei stepped up first. "It was bad, but just as a viewing experience. All this proves is that Tank Cop is a sexually repressed moron who lives his fantasies out online." "Also, the sheer idiocy, mis-proportioned bodies, and lousy grammar made it like all his other work," Scimitar added, "that is, a lot of crap." "He does seem to be getting better, since he included the actual physical affects of kiddie sex," Ryoga said. "The scary part is, he still continues to write fics like this." "What got to me," Ksa began, "is the sheer idiocy and denial during his notes. Firstly, the idea that I'm to blame for this. If my MSTing got him to write the series, then all it proves is that he wants to get back at me by continuing to write. Next, let's look at his "achievements". He is actually proud of getting the MISA awards. All this proves, is not only does he write crap, he enjoys writing crap. Then, the line about actually having fanmail. Puh-leeze! Only other pedophiles on TMFFA would like this crap." They all waited for Lime's response. There was none. "Lime?" Ksa asked. "Lime?!" "She's down here, with me." Wheelo said. "WHAT?!" Ksa asked, going SSJ/J. "Well, I have her now to assist me, and, I'll be getting another one, very soon." "But, what about our crew?" Ryoga asked. Suddenly, a blue glow appeared behind Ryoga, and when he turned around, there stood a beautiful girl, dressed in white robes, with golden hair. Xelloss blinked in surprise. "Filia-san? He chose you?" "Huh? Where am I? What's-" She then looked at Xelloss. "YOU!! NAMAGOMI!!" and she whipped out her mace. "Well, that's a new twist." Scimitar commented. "Now, you're going to watch part four of Tank Cop's little pedo-saga." Wheelo said. The MSTers, with the exception of Filia, sweatdropped. "WHAT?!" Suddenly, klaxons started blaring. "Oh god," Rei said. "I always wanted to say this." Ksa said, then took a deep breath. "WE'VE GOT TANK COP SIGN!" And they ran to the theater. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (the seating order is now, from right to left:- Ryoga, Rei, Ksa, Scimitar, Filia & Xelloss) Filia: Can someone explain what's going on? (Xelloss opens his mouth, but...) Filia: Other than the namagomi, please? Scimitar: You're in hell, we're your prison mates, and that, (pointing to the screen) is our punishment. >Welcome back to what will be the best Sammys Little Secret story of all. Ksa: They all revolt, and go to kill you? Rei: Don't hold your breath. > Enjoy ^_^ All but Filia:(old geezer) EVIL! Filia:(sweatdrops) What the hell is going on? Xel: Well, Tank Cop writes Pretty Sammy lemons... Filia: What?! Xel: He's been torturing these four for god knows how long. (indicates the others) Filia: And, how many parts has he written? Xel: Four. Filia: Sweet Cephied. (notices something) You didn't say "Sore wa himitsu desu". Why? Xel: Because I'm still reeling in shock from the last chapter, lizard lips. Filia:(trying to remain calm, her left eye twitching slightly) > Warning: Do I really need to warn you people? Ksa:(Tank Cop) You all know I suck, and I'm a sick perv. So, why bother to warn you? > Time Note: This takes place one week after Sammys Little Secret 2. All but Filia: *groan* Ryoga: The horrible memories... Scimitar: You said it, pal! > by Tank Cop > Sammys Little Secret 4: More Then Just Friends All: O_O;; Ksa: I just remembered what he said this was about. Filia: What do you mean? Scimitar: A lesbian scene between Misao and Sasami. Filia:(eyes wide, large sweatdrop, and her tail sticking out) WHAT?! Hasn't someone tried to stop him? Ksa: Well, I'm holding a petition. Others: *groan* > -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Filia: Please tear here, and burn lower half. (others stare at her a few moments) What? Scimitar: Does everyone that comes in here automatically know how to MST? Rei: It *is* comments and criticism, after all. Anyone can do it. > It was just around 10:30 in the morning as Rumiya and Misao walked towards Sasami's house. (Everyone but Xelloss and Filia are talking at once) Ksa: Um, HELLO!? YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THE GIRL YOU SCREWED AND LEFT FOR HER BEST FRIEND!! ARE YOU FREAKIN' NUTS! WHY I SHOULD BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF YOU-! Rei: KILL HIM SASAMI! IF HE DIDN'T MAKE OUT WITH YOU, THIS WHOLE FIC SERIES WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED! JUST GRAB HIM BY THE BALLS AND-! Scimitar & Ryoga: RYO-OHKI!! KILL RUMIYA!! HE STARTED THIS WHOLE LEMON AND HE LEFT SASAMI CRYING!! BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF HIM AS SOON AS HE WALKS IN THE DOOR! JUST-! Filia:(covering her ears) Dear god! It's louder here than at Wrestlemania! What is with them? Xel: When this fic is over, you'll see. > "But Misao I still don't think that telling Sasami about us is such a good idea. Scimitar:(Rumiya) That way, I can come back later, do the "baby, I'm sorry" routine, and get some sweet lovin' from both bitches and... I was talking out loud, wasn't I? >I mean she will take it hard and might not want to help us to bring down my sister?" Ksa: @_@ The run-ons, the terrible run-ons... Rei:(checks list) Misplacement of question mark, check. Run-on sentence, check. Filia: He does this everytime? Scimitar: Tank Cop is the master of bad grammer. Filia:(pointing to Ksa's swirling eyes) I meant him. Scimitar: That happens often enough times too. >Rumiya said in a concerned voice. Misao looked at him with stern look. Ryoga: And Shampoo continues to edit Tank Cop's stories. >"Look Rumiya you and I are in love, >right? Ksa: Actually, I'd say yes, but in the real Pretty Sammy series. Here, you're all just in lust, nothing more. Ryoga: Whoa. Deep. >Sasami will understand. Filia:(Misao) She'll beat the hell out of you first, but she will understand. >She will beat the Hell out of you first, but she will >understand." Misao said. All but Xel and Filia: O_O -_- O_O -_- O_O [note: This means, "Blink! Blink!"] Xel:(starts laughing) Filia: What's so funny? Xel: Guess this means you're as idiotic and perverted as Tank Cop.. ^_^ Filia:(starts glowing) XELLOSS!! (starts to transform into her dragon form) (Ksa and the others tackle her) Scimitar: If you do, this ship will blow up! Ryoga: Please, Filia-san, calm down! (Filia starts to calm down, the glow disappearing) Xel: Well, if she can't handle my comments, then I guess she won't be a good MSTer, ne? (Filia attempts to transform again, and the result is that she's been knocked out by Rei) Rei:(setting Filia's mace next to the dragon) Now, back to the lemon. >Rumiya with a not so happy smile on his face and a big sweat drop. >"Why does that not make me feel any better?" Scimitar: Yeah, being used as a punching bag is never fun. Ryoga: I agree. (they both sulk for a few seconds. Meanwhile, Filia wakes up again) Filia: What did I miss? (rubs her head) Scimitar: Not enough. > They finally arrived at Sasami's house. Scimitar: Because Ryoga was the one taking them there, they were incredibly late. Ryoga:(trying to jump over Rei and Ksa) YOU'RE DEAD HALF-GOD!! YOU HEAR ME!? DEAD! Rei:(reaches behind her back) Ryoga:(seating back down) I'll be good, I swear. O_O;; Rei:(whispering to Ksa) All I was doing was scratching my back. Ksa:(chuckles to himself) >They rang the bell. The door opened, then to there >surprise they saw Ryo-Ohki in human form Filia: GAH! What is that!? Xel: Ryo-Ohki in his human form. Are dragons deaf as well as violent? *BAM!* (Xelloss's head has been knocked down into the floor) Filia: Baka namagomi mazoku yazza frazza mutrer..... Others: O_O;; >dressed only in a pair of white underpants! All but Xel: .......................... Ksa: I think I've been blinded for life now. Scimitar: Hmm, boxers, or briefs? Xel:(popping out) I prefer to go au natural! ^_^ (sees the screen) *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!* (the headless body falls to the ground) Filia: O_O;; Scimitar: He does that when it gets too strange, sick, or foreshadows events of that nature. Filia: Oh. >"Oh, hi >Misao how are ...!" Ksa:(narrator) Misao then jumped Ryo-Ohki, ripping off his clothes, and forcing himself inside her. Others:(praying) Please, don't let that happen! Xel:(head regenerated) I second that. Filia: Hmmmm... Time to experiment. (narrator) And then Rumiya got in on the act. *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!* (Xelloss's body drops to the ground) Filia: Heh, that's actually fun! ^_^ Others: O_O;;;;; Ryoga: Wait, when did Ryo-Ohki just act casual around her? Scimitar: You're thinking about the story again. >Ryo-Ohki is cut off Rei: SLICE! Filia:(Ryo-Ohki) AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEE!! Guys: Don't joke about that kind of thing! >_< >mis sentence when he sees Rumiya with Misao. >"Rumiya! Scimitar:(Zangalus) FIGHT ME, RUMIYA!! >How dare you come back to this house after you have taken advantage of Sasami then >just tossed her away like a piece of trash!" Filia:(as a result of the run-on) @_@ Oh boy, the world won't stop spinning... >Ryo-Ohki says as he jumps on Rumiya *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!* (Confetti and streamers fly everywhere as Xelloss's headless body falls to the floor) Ksa: DEAR GOD, TANK COP YOU SICK B***ARD!! Scimitar:(curled up on floor) Tank Cop's writing yaoi, dear god help us, he's crossed the line.. Rei & Filia:(keeping calm) Must castrate Tank Cop, must castrate Tank Cop... Ryoga:(pulling his bandanna down over his face) Make the bad fic stop! T_T >and wrestles >him to the ground in the front yard. All:(reading the last part) Oh. Ksa: Thank God. Scimitar: Although they don't have a front yard, since Sasami's family live above their CD store. >Rumiya tries to defend himself and tries to fight back. Xel:(head regenerated) Why doesn't he stop _trying_ and actually _do_ something? Ryoga: Hey, it's the lost episodes of Jerry Springer. Scimitar:(Jerry Springer) Today on Springer, young magical girls and their cute mascot lovers. Others:(chanting) Springer, Springer... >"Let me go you damn furball!" Rumiya yells. Filia: This, from a feather-brain? Xel: That, from you, lizard-lips? Filia: XELLOSS NO BAKA!! (whips out her mace) *KA-BAM!* (Xelloss is on the floor, while Filia stands over him, wielding her mace) Ryoga: Kinda reminds me of Ranma and Akane. (Xelloss and Filia both turn red) Xel & Filia:(elbowing Ryoga down into his seat) SHUT UP P-CHAN!! Ryoga:(bouncing back up) WHO'S P-CHAN!? Ksa:(standing up, keeping Ryoga from killing Xelloss and Filia) Wait till we get a break, guys. >Misao tries to stop the fighting, but only gets >hit by the back of Ryo-Ohki's hand to her head. As she is knocked to the ground, All: TOGG! >Sasami runs >out of the house to see where all the yelling is coming from. Only to see Ryo-Ohki and Rumiya >are beating the hell out of each other and Misao in pain. All:(blink, blink) Scimitar: That made no sense. Ksa: Actually, it does, but not on the first reading. >"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Sasami screams >at the top of her lungs. "Look at what your fighting has done to Misao." Rei: You know, he hasn't made that many grammar mistakes this time. Ksa: Too bad that can't be said for story ideas. >The two of them look >over to see Misao with a nasty bump on her forehead, sobbing her eyes out and begging for them >to stop fighting. Scimitar:(thinking hard about the scene) You know, depending on how you picture it, that could be a serious scene, or a comical one. >Rumiya gets off Ryo-Ohki (talking as one disappointed audience) Ksa: Come on! I want to see blood! Scimitar: Fight fight fight fight fight! Ryoga: Even Ranma and I don't just stop like that! Rei: ............. That actually could be taken pervertedly. Filia: So Ryo-Ohki doesn't care anymore about the fight? What is with this author? Xel: You get used to it. Sadly, none of us are used to it yet. >and walks over to see if Misao needs any help. "Are >you ok, Misao?" Rumiya asks in a clam voice. Filia:(burst out laughing) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! "Clam"? Why not an "oyster" voice as well? AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Scimitar: I think she snapped already. Ksa: I'm beginning to agree with you. Xel: Trust me, it'd take more than that to break Filia. >Misao wipes the tears from her eyes. "I'll be ok, >just please don't fight anymore. I don't want you to get hurt." Rei:(Misao) If Ryo-Ohki gets hurt, then I don't mind. It's you I care about only, Rumiya. Ryoga: Rather selfish of her, isn't it? Ksa: Akane seems to be the same way with her pet pig- *KA-BAM!* Owwwww.... What was that for!? Ryoga:(rubbing his knuckles) That was for insulting Akane! And did you know you have a hard head? >Misao said Rumiya helps Misao >off the ground. Scimitar: Hey, now it's a lost period. Ksa: Let's not bring that joke up again. (looks sad) Lime.... Filia: What's wrong with him? Xel: A potential girlfriend was taken today, by our slave driver. Filia:(stars and sparkles floating around her) Awwww, that is so romantic! (eyes glaze over slightly) Xel: ...................... That is actually disturbing. (flicks one of the sparkles off his cloak) >"Don't worry, I won't fight anymore. I promise." Ryoga: He does realise that Ryo-Ohki didn't promise that. Scimitar: So, let the cabbit tear him apart. I'd be more than happy. >He then kisses Misao on the >lips, in plan view of a shocked Sasami and Ryo-Ohki. Filia: Does this guy even have a spellchecker? Rei: Lately, we've been doubting that. > Later on after everyone gets cleaned up and Ryo-Ohki got some clothes on. All: Thank god. >They all sit in >the living room of Sasami's house. Ksa: You mean the one that Chihiro, Tenchi, Mihoshi and Kiyone, along with Ryoko on occasions, keep hanging around? Scimitar: Yeah, where are the other members of the cast? Ryoga: Would you want to stick around in a Tank Cop fic? Scimitar: ............. Good point. >Later everyone talks about what has been happing Ksa, Rei and Xel:(open their mouthes) Scimitar: No nitpicking on the spelling. There's no real joke for that anyway. Ksa, Rei and Xel:(close their mouthes) >for the >past week. (recap time) Filia: Does he make stupid comments like that in all his stories? Xel: Filia-san, his stories are all just one big stupid comment. Filia: Ah. >Sasami being Pretty Sammy, Misao being Misa, Scimitar: That's more like the past few monthes then a single week. >Stuff about Rumiya, >stuff about Ryo-Ohki, Rei: Which, thankfully, he's not going into. Ryoga: Still, he could have done without the Koopa-style writing. >Sasami asking Rumiya to help her to stop this stupied war. Scimitar: Ah, now we're at where the horror began. >Then they get >into the good stuff. Filia: What does he mean, good stuff? Not details, right? Rei: Please, let him keep up the Koopa-style. >Sasami having sex with Rumiya, Rumiya leaving Sasami, Rumiya makes Misao >and Misa into a new Misa, Rumiya and Misao have sex, Sasami and Ryo-Ohki have sex. Xel: It actually sounds like the plot for a soap opera. >(The rest >is just a week long sex thing) Ksa: Thank god he didn't go into details. >"So you see Sasami I do love you, but me and Misao are in love. >I'm sorry if you think I used you, but I didn't. I did love you then. Just as I do now, but I >can only be with Misao. My true love." Rumiya said. All: Um.... Filia: So, he loves Sasami, but being in love with Misao is different. He screwed Sasami, went to Misao, screwed her, and suddenly he expects her to still remotely think of him as a friend. Scimitar: And the Silver Malley for worse fanfic series [Ksa's note: In my own opinion], "Sammy's Little Secret". Others: No arguement here. > Every word felt like a knife in Sasami's heart. "So you had your way with me, then you left >me, and now you think I will love you again? Xel: At least we're not the only ones with a problem with this story. >You stuiped Bastard!" Rei: You notice that Tank Cop can't spell the name he calls himself in the mirror. Ksa: Whoa, a little below the belt there- Rei: OH I WISH I COULD GIVE A NICE SOLID HIT BELOW TANK COP'S LOUSY BELT!! (there is a few moments of silence) Xel: Rei, I never realised your feelings for Tank Cop until now. Filia:(flattens Xelloss with her mallet) BAKA! Others:(staring at the flattened Trickser Priest) ............. Ryoga: She's like a one-woman anti-Xelloss campaign. >Sasami then gets up and >runs out of the room crying. Filia:(Sasami) I can't believe I let some perverted author do this to me! *sob!* >Ryo-Ohki looks at Rumiya. Scimitar:(Ryo-Ohki) Does it bother you when I stare? >"See what you have done. You did this >to her. I hope your happy with your life. Because she will never love you again." Rei: Wow. A dramatic line, and only one spelling mistake. Ksa: As if Ryo-Ohki is that mean. Come on, he should still be a kid, and not this bitter. Xel: If Tank Cop took into account their actual ages, this fic wouldn't exist in the first place. >Ryo-Ohki >says as he goes after Sasami. Filia: Considering how small that room is, he's already out the door by the time he says "this". > Ryo-Ohki found Sasami in her bedroom crying her poor eyes out. Rei:(Sasami crying) Why did I have to get into this lemon!? >"Sasami can I come in?" Ryo-Ohki asks. (Everyone glares at Xelloss) Ksa: One perverted remark at that sentence, we'll kill you. Xel: Okay. >Sasami stops crying. "Yes you can come in Ryo-Ohki." Xel:(Sasami) But be sure to clean up afterwards. ^_^ Others: XELLOSS!! Xel: You said at the last sentence, but not for this one. ^_^ >Ryo-Ohki sits down next to Sasami on her bed and gives her a hug. Scimitar: All those childhood memories of getting hugs from the Easter Bunny are being so twisted right now. >"Now Sasami I know that >Rumiya is a asshole, but remember that you have me now and I have you." Ryo-Ohki said. Filia & Rei:(singing) Cabbit... I've got you, cabbit.... I got you... >Just >then there was a tapping on the door. Ksa: Cried the Rumiya, "Nevermore"! >Both Sasami and Ryo-Ohki turned to see Misao and a sad >Rumiya at the door. Ryoga:(Rumiya) I'm so sad and loooooonely.... > "What do you two want? Can't you see where having a private moment here." Ryo-Ohki said. Filia: You know, if you guys didn't tell me he was a bad author, I'd have thought something was wrong with him. Ksa: If you don't think there's something wrong with him by now, I'll consider committing you. >Misao walks over to Sasami and Ryo-Ohki. "Rumiya want to talk to you Sasami, alone." Misao >said. Scimitar: Does he _want_ to die? >Ryo-Ohki give her a no way in hell look, Ksa: Oooh, Furball and Feather-brain rematch! >but Sasami was diffrent. Xel: Hers was a "no way in heaven" look. >"Its ok, let him in. >I'll talk to him alone." Sasami said in a low voice. Rei & Filia: Oh, is he going get it! ^_^ Ksa, Xel, Scimitar & Ryoga: Rumiya, we barely knew ye. Not that we'll miss you or anything... >"Ok Sasami, but if he gives you any >trouble at all you just call for me and I'll kick his ass!" Ryo-Ohki said. Ryoga: Y'know, I just might think that he doesn't like the bird that much. >Sasami had got >a smile on her face after hearing that. "Thank you Ryo-Ohki." Sasami said. Ksa: If I was Rumiya, after hearing that, I'd get the hell outta there! >Then they both >kissed and then Ryo-Ohki and Misao left the room while Rumiya and Sasami where left in the room. Scimitar: The Department of Redundancy Department is back. > For awhile Rumiya and Sasami just sat on the bed. Then Rumiya spoke up. "Sasami I'm sorry. >I'm sooooo sorry." Rumiya said. Sasami looked at him with hate in her eyes. Filia:(Sasami) IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU WE'RE IN THIS LEMON!! Ksa:(Sasami) IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT AN INNOCENT GROUP OF ANIME AND FANFIC CHARACTERS ARE BEING TORTURED AS WE SPEAK!! Wasabi:(from the control booth) Fourth wall! Ksa:(sweatdropping) Sorry... >"Sorry, you >fucked with me then you left me to go fuck my best friend, who was my enemy Misa, but now is >no longer and all you can say is sorry!" Filia: Scimitar-san, I think that the Department of Redundancy Department is going into overtime. >Sasami gets up and hits Rumiya so hard he is thrown >off the bed! All: WHOOO! GO SAMMY! GO SAMMY! >"I deserved that. Ksa: No arguement here. >Look Sasami you have every right to be pissed at me. I just >want to be your friend now. A lover to you I can no longer be. Can we just be friends?" Xel:(Poke-dex) Rumiya. A bird Magicmon. Capable of feats of flight, he also has a deathwish as long as the Yellow Brick Road. >Rumiya said rubbing a very large red mark on his face. "Lissen to me Rumiya you used me like >some street coner slut, now you want to be my friend! Rei: Wow. A run-on that actually defines what people think of the story so far. >What kind of fucked up world do you live >in?" Ksa: One that sounds suspiciously like a Disneyland plug-in. Scimitar: Does that mean she just insulted Ryo-Ohki's home? Ryoga: Ooooh, Sasami vs. Ryo-Ohki. I'd love to see that fight. >She walks over to Rumiya and kicks him in the stomach. (They all hold signs) Ryoga: Seven. Rei: Nine. Ksa: Ten! Scimitar: Ten. Filia: Eight. Xel:(dressed like a Romanian judge) Four point five. >After Rumiya was able to breath >normal again. He asked Sasami what he wanted to ask her. "Sasami I just want to know if you >still want to help me take down my sister and stop this dumb war?" Rei: If he actually said that, instead of all he said before, he may have gotten away unscathed. >Sasami thought about it. >"Yes, I will help you Rumiya. Thenlater Ksa: And grammar is re-written again. >I will think about this friendship thing. Now lets >talk about how where going to take Ramia down. Scimitar: Dear God! Others: What?! Scimitar: Does this mean he may actually get back to the plot that he started this series with? Rei: That would be a first for Tank Cop. > Mean while as Sasami and Rumiya go over there plans to take Ramia down, Ryo-Ohki and Misao >have a conversation of there own. All: O_O;; Scimitar: As Priss used to put it... (Priss) Feeling of dread, feeling of dread... > Ryo-Ohki comes out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee. Filia: Great. Bad enough we're watching underage porn, it's with a hyperactive cabbit as well. Others:(facefault) >He hands one to Misao who is on >the couch in the living room. All:(large sweatdrops) Xel: This sounds suspiciously like a lemon set-up. Ksa: No, you think? Filia: Shouldn't there be wine then? ^_^ All but Xel & Filia: O_O;; Xel:(in shock) Filia-san.... Lina, I'd expect that from, but not you. >"Here you go." Ryo-Ohki said. "Thank you." Misao said. For >awhile they just stood there and drank there coffee. Ksa: Ignoring all spelling, let's just hope that's _all_ they do. >Then Misao started to talk. "Ryo-Ohki, I >know that Rumiya has done a horrible thing to Sasami, but he is asking her for forgivenss and >now he asks me to ask you for yours. Ryoga: Rumiya's gone telepathic. >Will you forgive him?" Ryo-Ohki was unsure at first, >then. "If Sasami forgives, so will I." Ryo-Ohki said. Rei: Is it just me, or has making out with Sasami turned him into her little bitch-boy? Wasabi: Language! >Misao suddenly got an evil grin All:(old geezer) EVIL! >on her >face, while sizing up Ryo-Ohki! Scimitar: Oh no.... Ksa: This can't be happening. Rei: Leave some people untainted, please! >"Ryo-Ohki do you think I'm pretty?" Misao asks. Xel:(dumb Ryo-Ohki) Duh, naw, you're Pixy. Sammy's Pretty. (a baton with a heart on the end of it flies past Xelloss's head and imbeds itself in the wall.) All:(really large sweatdrops) >"Yes,I think >your very pretty Misao." Ryo-Ohki said. All:(slapping their foreheads) D'OH! Scimitar: If Sasami hears that, she'll kill him. Ksa: Probably wait until he is a cabbit, then tie him in a sack... Ryoga: Then toss him in the river! THROW! MIIIYYYAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa- KER-SPLASH!! Heh heh... Others: O_O;; Ryoga: I'm bitter. Leave me alone. >"Thank you Ryo-Ohki." Just then then Sasami and >Rumiya came down the stairs. Xel & Filia: Adjusting their clothes. (stare at each other) Joke stealer! No I'm not! You are! >Ryo-Ohki walks over and hugs Sasami. While Ryo-Ohki was hugging >Sasami, Misao was looking at him while licking her lips! She thought to herself, "Nice Butt!" Ksa: I may never watch Tenchi Muyo with the same attitude ever again. > Later they all talked about what's going to happen. Scimitar:(Sasami) Right, here's the part where we get really drunk, then me and Misao start singing kareoke... Ksa: Points for anyone who figures out what that's from. >"Ok, here's how it will go. Tomorrow we >will go to the Magical Kingdom and confront Scimitar: Goofy. He must pay for that movie of his! Rei: Why? Scimitar: Do you know what it's like, having Washu show that to you, FIFTY TIMES, as a test of sanity limits!? >Ramia and Tsunami and tell then to end the >fighting." Sasami said. Misao had a problem. "That's all good, but we will have Ryoga:(Misao).... to make out right now, if we're still going to call this a lemon. Others: ACK!! Rei: That was unexpected. >to stay >toghter tonight if were going to be able to start right away. So how about all of you stay at >my house for the night?" Misao said. All:(waving their arms in a large "NO!" fashion. Xelloss and Scimitar are holding up a sign saying "SPARE US!") >"Sounds good to me." Ryo-Ohki said. "Sure I'm in." >Sasami said. "You know I will Misao." Rumiya said. "Then its seteled, Sasami can tell her >mom that she will be sleeping over at my house and then in the morning we can go to the Magical >Kingdom." Misao said with an evil grin! All:(old geezer) EVIL! Scimitar: I guess there is still some of Misa left in her after all. > Lter that night Ryo-Ohki, in cabbit form All but Filia:(shudder a lot) Filia: What's wrong? Scimitar:(whispers in her ear) Filia: HE DID WHAT!? >and Sasami arrived at Misao's house. "Hi, I'm happy >you two came." Xel: What, already? Others: XELLOSS!! >Ryo-Ohki Changed to his human form. "So where are we going to sleep?" >Ryo-Ohki said. Misao lead them to the guest room. "You two can stay here. This room is sound >proof so you can be as loud as you want and no one will hear you! Ksa: How conviiiiiiiiinient! >Well good night." As Misao >left, Ryo-Ohki and Sasami looked at each other in a sexy way, then rushed to take off there >clothes! Rei:(holding an envelope to her forehead) When to stop, child pornography laws, and spellchecking. (She opens the envelope) Rei:(reading) Name three things Tank Cop doesn't know. > Later that night, Sasami slipped out of bed, put on a bra Scimitar: Size negative B. >and a pair of panties. She went >into the living room to think. Xel: In a Tank Cop story? That's a stretch. >Then Misao came into the living room dressed only in a white >night shirt. All: O_O;; Ksa: I suddenly have a strange foreboding feeling. >"I guess you must of had some great sex with Ryo-Ohki, huh?" Sasami was >surprised by Misao's words. Filia:(Surprised Sasami) She used "of" instead of "have"! >"Why would you say that?" Scimitar: Because the author is incredibly predictable. >"Because I come out here too after me >and Rumiya have some good sex! All: GAH! Ryoga: More than we needed to know! >So can you and Rumiya be friends?" Xel: When Ryoga flies. Ryoga: True, very- HEY! >Misao aks Rei:(Misao) How do you spell "asks"? >. Sasami looked >unsure for a moment. "Yes, we can be friends. All: *coughcough*BULLSHIT!*coughcough* >I can never forgive him for what he did to me, >but we can be friends." Sasami said. Filia:(pissed as hell) If some guy screwed me, then left me for my best friend, I'd kill 'em! Scimitar: Speaking from experience? *BAM!* (Scimitar drops to the floor unconcious) Scimitar: Owwwww..... @_@ Filia: Jeez, what an obnoxious guy! Ksa: So, what's your type? Filia: I don't know, a little quiet, cheerful, with a bit of mystery.... Xel: ^_^ Filia: Which could be anyone but Xelloss. Xel:(facefault) >Misao was happy. Just then she got a very twisted idea. Scimitar:(waking up) Guys, I had this weird dream. Dr. Wheelo became our own MAD, then he made us watch two Tank Cop fics, one after the other, and Filia became a crew member and- (sees the screen) Oh god, it's real! >"Say, let you and me have a liitle fun togther." Ksa: Two typos, and and the story is leading us into worse territory. How can it get worse? Xel: Tank Cop could self-instert himself into it! ^_^ >What do you want to do?" Sasam Scimitar: Twisted clone of Sasami. >asked. "Lets >fuck each others! You and me We can have a little oral sex! Ryoga: Whoa! Rei: That was actually expected, since he promised it. Ksa:(in tears) He turned Misao and Sasami into hicks! >We can do it on the couch, so no >one can bother us!" Misao said. Filia: Is it just me, or does the couch not really sound like the most private place to have sex? Others: It's not just you. >Sasami was unsure at first, then Scimitar: -Tank Cop threatened to insert himself into the story and screw them both! >. "Ok I'll do it!" Sasami >said. Scimitar: What, you expect her to _actually_ screw Tank Cop? Filia: There are several things I'd like to do to this guy, and the word "screw" could be involved. Others: O_O;; Xel: Oh L-sama! Filia, you couldn't, not with him of all life-forms! Filia: Xelloss... Xel: Yes? Filia: When I said "screw" (uppercuts him) I was planning to add "driver" to it! Xel:(going up in the air and landing in his seat again) THAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaannkkkk L-saaaaaaAAAMAAAAAAA!!! *CRASH!* > Misao sat o the couch and removed her night shirt, to revail her now naked body to her friend. Ryoga:(nosebleeds) Here we go again.... Scimitar: Are you ready for your first T.C. lemon scene Filia? Filia: Do I have a choice? Please? >She then speard her legs wide apart! Filia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!! Rei: It's Kagato's Revenge all over again!! Ksa: I actually think that's meant to be "spread", not "speared". Scimitar: Spread, speared, crap is still crap, and Tank Cop's stories are crap! >Sasami's eyes grew large as she saw the young pussy of >her friend! "You look hungery, Ryoga: She looks like a country whose crown prince was assasinated, giving allies of Austro- Hungary an excuse to kick off World War I? Others: O_O;; Scimitar: How'd he know that? Ksa: What do you want? He's been there enough times to learn the history. (Ryoga swings his umbrella over Rei, missing her, but nailing Ksa on the head) Ksa: *BANG!* Owwwww.... >go ahead and have a late night snack! Help yourself!" Misao >said with a grin. Ksa: Over the lips, past the gums, look out now, here it comes. Scimitar: Peter's going to get you for that joke. >With that Sasami started to lick away at Misao's sweet pussy! Xel:(Happosai) SWEETO! (he then grabs a vomit bag like everyone else has) >Sasami licked >hard and fast. "OOOHHH YES. lick it Sasami, make me come!" Sasami now starts to dig her >tonge All: Her what? >deep into her. It only takes two minutes to make Misao cm Scimitar:(Chicken from Cow and Chicken) Comensurating. Rei & Filia: SCIMITAR!! Scimitar:(cringing) Don't hurt me! >in Sasami's face. "Yummy. You >taste >good Misao. Not as good as Ryo-Ohki, but still good." Sasami said with cum in her mouth. (Everyone retches into a vomit bag) Xel: No matter the horrors I've seen- Or caused, for that mattered... This is one of the sickest sights I've seen in my long life. Filia:(looking up from her vomit bag) Does he get like this often with this stuff? Scimitar:(looking up from his vomit bag) In a MSTing theater, whether you're human, god, Saiya-jin or Mazoku, you all suffer together. Rei:(looking up from her bag) Strangly poetic, in a way. >"Really?" Misao asked. Rei:(Sasami) Actually, no. >"Ya." Ksa:(Swedish) Oh ya, ya, we take you there, ya. >Just then Sasami got an even more twisted idea. All:(large sweatdrops) Ksa: We've seen her make out at age 10. Rei: We've seen her make out with a cabbit. Ryoga: We saw her make out with said cabbit in human form. Scimitar: We only just before this fic saw her best friend make out with the bird! Filia: And we just now saw her make out with her best friend. Xel: How can it possibly get even more twisted? (There is the sound of a cow mooing in the silence) Ksa: I think we just jinxed ourselves. >"Hey, why >don't you come with me and we to the guest room and then we can have some real fun, with >Ryo-Ohki!" *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!* (Xelloss's headless body slumps back in his easychair) Ksa:(swinging Nyoibo like a Shinto warding staff) I BANISH THEE, TANK COP, TO THE NETHER REALM! TROUBLE HUMANS NO MORE!! Rei:(pulling out Shinto ward) AKURYO TAISEN! (throws it at the screen with no affect) That works for that other Rei all the time. Scimitar: I am going to kill him. I'm seriously going to grab him by his neck, and ram my sword into his heart, until he passes away. Ryoga:(slightly green, with blood flowing down his face) After we're all well again. Filia: I thought the whole thing with Lina was bad. > Sasami slowly opens the door to the guest room. She peeks her head in and looks at Ryo-Oki. >"Good he's still asleep." Sasami said. Ksa: Wouldn't they need him awake for what they're planning? Filia: Maybe the two of them are into male bondage. ^_^ Others:(jaws wide open) Xel: Actually, that's rather funny. ^_^ All but Filia & Xel: ....................... Scimitar: Reality is warping as we know it. >"But won't he wake up as we take off his clothes?" >Misao asked. Ryoga: Good point. So don't bother. >"No he won't. He's not wearing any clothes. Ryoga:(snapping fingers) Damn! Ksa: It would've been too easy anyway. >We did it really good, hell my >pussy is still sore from him ramming his dick into me. Not to mention the soreness of my ass!" >Sasami said. Rei: Okay, a little too much information about Sasami's sex life for my liking. >"You mean he fucks you in the ass!" Misao asked with surprise. Ksa: Try asking for some question marks from the idiot author. Scimitar: Since when has Tank Cop listened to reason? Ksa: Good point. >"Yes, many times. >I'm even starting to like it!" Sasami said with a smile. Scimitar: Last time we checked, she seemed to like it already. >"I wonder if Rumiya would do that to >me?" Misao wondered. Xel: *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!* (headless body slumps over) Others: What the hell?! Rei: What caused that? Scimitar:(thinks about the last line) Oh crap! Others: What? Scimitar: That last line smells like a foursome set-up! Others: .......................... Ksa: Tank Cop, have you no soul?! > The two girls slowly walked over to the bed. When they got there Sasami slowly removed the >blanket. Misao was stunned at what she saw. All but Xel & Filia: *groan* Here we go again... Filia: What do you mean? Xel:(head regenerated, now reading the last few lines) Well, Tank Cop just loves to say how big the male character's penis is. Filia:(buries her face in her hands) Dear god, does this author have any concept of stopping? Others:(flatly) No. >"Oh my, I never imagined tha his cock was that >big! He just as big as Rumiya, maybe even more so!" Misao said. Rei: You guys ever notice how Tank Cop's fics read like the lines of Mojo Jojo, the monkey from Powerpuff Girls? Ksa: Not until you said _that_. >"Well lets get started, you >know what to do." Sasami said. All:(start humming the "Mission Impossible" theme) >Then both girls got down on there knees and started to lick >away at Ryo-Ohki's mighty oak! Filia:(flipping her mace in the air a few times) Well, this mace does double as a good axe for forresting. (evil giggle) Ksa, Xel, Scimitar, and Ryoga:(crossing legs) Ouch... >Misao noticed a stickness on his cock, most likly cum from him >and Sasami's sex feast an hour ago. Ksa: Yet _again_, more than we needed to know. >The girls licked up and down, the licked around his cock, >and they even took turns licking the top of his cock. Ksa: Sasami and Misao licked Ryo-Ohki's cock. NEXT! >Ryo-Ohki started to moan his moans got >louder and louder, until he woke up from the pleasure. Rei:(deep voice) See Tank Cop reconstruct the English language as we know it! >He lifted his head up to see what was >making him fell so good. Ksa: Let's just say, the Overfiend wasn't a welcome sight. Others:(large sweatdrops) KSA!! >What he saw shocked him! Scimitar: If the Overfiend _is_ there, I'm taking my life now. >"SASAMI, MISAO! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!" >Ryo-Ohki yelled. The only answer he got was of Sasami pushing him back down on the bed. All: O_O;; Ksa: TOGG! Scimitar: She _is_, in three different universes, Ayeka's sister. Xel:(singing) Crack that whip..... Filia:(ditto) When Tank Cop comes along, you must kick him..... Xel & Filia:(singing together) Kick him! Kick him good! Blast his head! You know you should! Scimitar: I swear, those two are made for each other. (Xelloss and Filia suddenly become giants over Scimitar) Xel & Filia: What was that? (Filia casually holding her mace, while Xelloss starts glowing) Scimitar: Nothing, heh heh.... ^_^;; >"You just lie there and don't move Ryo-Ohki. If you move we will stop what were doing. You >don't wan use to stop do you?" Filia: "wan"? And "use" instead of "us"? Rei: Tank Cop had to repeat a few English classes. Ksa: A lot, mind you. >Ryo-Ohki didn't need to think about that answer. "Ok, I'm >sorry I moved. I won't move again. I'll be a good boy!" Ryo-Ohki said as he layed back down >and let the grils have there fun! All: WHOA!! Ryoga:(DJ) That's right, people!! We got cabbits, magical girls, and sex-obssessed barbeque equipment! We cool! We cool! > It took just three more minutes to make Ryo-Ohki come! Ryoga: Gee, but, WHERE ON EARTH WAS HE BEFORE!?! ^_^ Others: ............. >Both girls took turns sucking up his >cum. Filia: Wasn't that spelled another way, just a second ago? Ksa: Tank Cop. Not just a pedophile, but mangler of English as well. >"Ok that's enought Misao, Ryo-Ohki and I have to have a quick talk. Then we can decide >what we will do with you next?" Sasami takes her naked friend by the hand and tells her to sit >on a chair till she tells her she can get up. Scimitar: But, isn't this Misao's house? What right does Sasami have to lead her around? Ksa: Remember, that isn't Sasami. That's Tank Cop's evil hose beast clone of Sasami. Rei: Am I the only one who doesn't think keeping her in the same room as them won't leave them with any privacy? Others: No. > While Misao waits in the chair, Ksa: -which happened to be there. >she can see Sasami and Ryo-Ohki talking very intensivly about >something. After about a minute or two Sasami and Ryo-Ohki come to a decision. Sasami walks >over to Misao. "Ok Misao you can get up now." Misao gets up. Scimitar: Misao. Shy, quiet, and sex slave to Sasami! Ksa:(flashes back to La Blue Sammy) GYAAAAAAAHH!! >"So what do you want me to do?" >Misao asks. "Your a very lucky girl, Ksa:(Misao) You found my "a very lucky girl"? Thank you so much! >you get to be fucked by Ryo-Ohki!" Sasami said. Filia: I wouldn't feel lucky. Rei: I'd just feel plain sick. >Misao >stumbled back at the sound of that. "Your kidding, right?" Misao asked. Filia:(Sasami) No, I think it's your "kidding". >Ryo-Ohki shock his >head. All but Xel: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Xel: PIKA! Others: -_-;; Xel: ^_^ >"No Misao, she's not. Ryoga: Although we wish she was. >I will lie on the bed and Sasami will sit down on top of of my >face and I will lick her pussy! While you get to ride my cock to your hearst content. Scimitar: She's has that car they use at funerals? Ksa: I'm worried about _it_ joining in on this scene. Others: BLEAH! (vomit in their bags) Filia:(taking a look at Ryo-Ohki's last words) Hey! He's stealing the threesome scene from Aijin Muyo part 2! (notices the shocked stares from the others) Whoops... ^_^;;; Xel: Filia, you just keep surprising me. ^_^ Filia: >_And I >know your interested to see how good I compare to Rumiya!" Ryo-Ohki said. Ryoga: When did she say that? Ksa: Don't think about the story. The human mind can only tolerate so much. >Misao's face turned >bright red! "I..I'm not sure?" Rei:(Groucho Marx) I don't know, _are_ you sure? >Misao said in a low voice. Sasami give Misao a hug to relax >her. "Misao, if you want I can face you when I get my oral from Ryo-Ohki so we can play with >each others tits. Will that make you feel better?" Sasami asked. Scimitar: It just keeps getting worse... >"Well, ok. I am interested >to know how it would feel to be fucked by Ryo-Ohki, just to know if he's as good as m Rumiya!" Ryoga: M Rumiya? Ksa: Rumiya become head of the Shadowlaw organization? Scimitar: Now there's a crossover I never want to see! >Misao said with a smile. Sasami gave her a kiss on her forhead. "Good girl. Rei:(Sasami) You get a cookie. >Now lets get >started." > Ryo-Ohki lies down on the bed as Sasami lies her pussy right above his mouth. Misao the >steadies her pussy on top of Ryo-Ohki's cock! Ksa: RANDOM EXCLAIMATION MARK ACTION! >"Ok, let do it!" Ryo-Ohki said. Then Misao >lowered herself on to Ryo-Ohki's dick! "Oh Ryo-Ohki, your so big!" Misao said. Rei: I think Tank Cop's trying to make up for his own shortcomings everytime he writes a line like that. >Ryo-Ohki was >a little busy with licking Sasami's pussy. Filia:(Misao) Hmph! Men! Never pay attention, even in a threesome. >While Ryo-Ohki was busy with Sasami, Misao, sitll Scimitar: Sitll? Please, tell me that isn't Tank Cop's SI. Ksa: Nah, it's just the usual sign that he can't be bothered with a spellchecker. >riding Ryo-Ohki, was kissing Sasami and playing with her breasts! Sasami was doing the same. >This went on for about 20 minutes with each one of them cumming at diffrent times. Ksa: Note, the use of exclaimation marks without any sense, and the bad spelling. These are usual sign of Tankius Copius Authoris Crappiest. >They were >all loving it until the door opened and a tried Rumiya walked in! Ryoga: Tried Rumiya? What, he's being taken in for a refund? Others: ............ Scimitar: I think I'm a few levels dumber than when we started this fic. Ksa: I'm more concerned with why Rumiya's there. Rei: Oh god... Scimitar may have been right about the foursome idea! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Xel: *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!* (the headless body falls over) > He was very tired, Ryoga: I thought he was tried. Rei:(whaps Ryoga over the head) No Ryoga. No more of that idea. >he was rubbing his eyes so he could adjust to the light in the room. All: Awwwww! Filia: When you take into account that he's a kid, that's pretty cute. Xel(head regenerated) I think I'm about to be sick. >"Sasami, Ryo-Ohki. I'm sorry to have to bother you, but have any of you seen Misao?" Ryoga: And the part of Rumiya will be played by Mousse. >He >finally got his eyes focused. Then he wished he hadn't. Ksa:(wiping his visor) Oh, trust me. I wish I was completly blind right now. >"MISAO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THREE >DOING! RYO-OHKI YOU GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MISAO RIGHT NOW OR I'LL..." Scimitar: YES!! GO FORWARD, YOUNG BIRD, AND KICK CABBIT ASS!! >"NO!" Rumiya was >suddenly cut off mid sentce by a angery Misao! Filia: A angery Misao? The hell? Ksa: I think that's "an angry Misao". Filia: _An_ angry Misao? Xel: Don't you know? She comes in six-packs. >"You will do nothing!" Misao said. Rumiya was >completely suprised! "WHAT!" Rumiya said. "Tell me Rumiya is this any diffrent then you >fucking Sasami then just leaving her for me, just like I'm doing with Ryo-Ohki? Ksa: Wait, she's breaking up with him for no good reason? Rei: No, Tank Cop's trying to throw in a moral. Ryoga: If he had any, he wouldn't have written this crap in the first place! >Tell me how >does it feel to see me with Ryo-Ohki? Its the same feeling you made Sasami feel. So does it >hurt you?" Misao said. Rumiya looks with sad eyes. "Yes it hurts me. Are you leaving me >Misao is that it? Do you not love me anymore? If that's true I will leave and never come >back." Xel:(starts cackling loudly) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Others: O_O;; Scimitar: What's with you? Xel: He's *hee* trying *haw* to have a serious scene! (the others think about the sheer impossiblity of it, and then...) All: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! >Rumiya said with tears in his eyes, very near crying. Ksa:(Rumiya) My god, this whole story stinks... *sob*! >Misao smiled. "You silly boy. >No, I do love you with all my heart. I just wanted to teach you a lessen, to know what it >feels like to leave the ones you love and you have learned that lessen. Scimitar:(holding a list) Okay, "lesson" is now on the list. Filia: What list? Scimitar: Words Tank Cop can constantly misspell. >Now why don't you come >over here and join us?" All: ................... Ksa:(standing up) Guys, we've reached a horrible turning point. Tank Cop is writing a foursome. Now, he's adding yaoi to underage and yuri lemons. We must prepare. (Ksa then proceeds to beat his head against the chair in front of him) Others:(facefault with large sweatdrops) >Rumiya was more then happy to do that, but he had a problem. "Where >and who do I get to fuck? Both of your pussy are taken?" Ksa:(stops beating his head) AAAAAHHHHHHH!! He made Sasami and Misao siamese twins! >Rumiya said. Misao puts he hands >behind her and opens her butt checks! All: ................... Scimitar: That's it, where's the cyanide pills?! (tries to open a bottle of cyanide pills) DAMN CHILD PROOF CAP! (The others all grab Scimitar, and force the bottle out of his hands) Rei: We don't say die that easily, do we Ksa? Um, Ksa? (They all turn to see Ksa about to take the pill. The others facefault, while Xelloss knocks the pill from Ksa) Xel: I can't let you die! Ksa:(looks both happy and shocked that someone cares) Xel: Your misery here is like a buffet for me! ^_^ Ksa:(facefaults with tears in his eyes) (Filia grabs Xelloss and body slams him back into his chair) Filia: Insensitive mazoku baka! (the others take their seats, after helping Ksa back into his) >"You can come in right here!" Misao said with a big >smile. All: ACK! Rei: Very bad pun. Xel: And I didn't even get to make the pun! (pouts) >Rumiya was not sure. "Won't I hurt you? I mean, that looks like it will hurt?" Ksa:(recovering from his suicide attempt) When it said that he shouldn't be sure, I think they meant about the anal scene, not his lines. (the others are holding a slight celebration for Ksa's recovery) Ryoga: Although, you have to admit, would you be sure about this scene? >Rumiya said. "Ryo-Ohki does it to Sasami when they have sex. I'm sure it will hurt at first, >but I will get use to it. Now get to it!" Misao demanded. Scimitar: *REOOOW!* Jeez, sounds like _someone_ forgot to take her midol today! Filia:(face turns blood red, and she proceeds to beat Scimitar with her mace. Hard) Others: O_O;; Xel:(feeding off Scimitar's pain) Oh yeah, that hit the spot! And people wonder why I love Filia so much! ^_^ (the room goes silent, the film stops rolling, and Filia freezes in the middle of beating Scimitar) Filia:(turns a whole new shade of red) Ksa: Oh, I wish I could have recorded that! Wasabi:(from the control booth) It's actually on tape now! Xel:(sweatdrop) Well, when I said "love", I didn't quite mean...(notices the now glowing demonic red Filia) Uh oh! Filia: STUPIDLOUSYPERVERTEDMAZOKUBASTARDYOUSHOULDDIETHENBERESSURECTEDSOYOUCANDIEAGAINPLAYINGWITH AGIRL'SHEARTICAN'TBELIEVEYOU'DSTOOPTHATLOWANDWITHMEAFORMERPRIESTESSISHOULDJUSTLEAVEYOUDEAD... (the others sweatdrop at the beating Filia gives Xelloss, then shrug, and go back to the fic) >Rumiya walks over to Misao's butt >and slides his dick in slowly. Ksa:(Cartman) Why do Tank Cop's fics always have something going into people's asses? Scimitar:(slowing recovering) I think that's because he has no social life, and wants to do it badly with anything. Others: Ewww... >"OWW!" Msao cried out as Rumiya fits his whole dick in her >tight little ass! "And I thought you pussy was tight Misao!" Rumiya said with a grin. All:(old geezer) EVIL! >Then >he stared to pump her. Xel:(now resembling a small flattened tire, starts to make gas pumping sounds) Filia:(being held back by the others) YOU PERVERTED PIECE OF RAW TRASH!! >Then everyone else started to move again. Scimitar:(makes a noise that sounds like a film reel starting up again) >With Ryo-Ohki licking and >finger Sasami, Misao riding Ryo-Ohki, Sasami playing with Misao's tits and kissing her, and >Rumiya ass fucking Misao! Filia:(covering her face with her hands) The children! Someone save the children! Scimitar:(patting her on the shoulder) It's okay, we all feel the same. (sticks his tongue out at Xelloss) Xel:(left eye starts to twitch slightly) >It was like a wild orgie! Ryoga: So long as it _wasn't_ one, I'll be happy. > Time seemed to slow down as they all came at diffrent times. Rei: Hey, it's the Scooby Doo door stetch. >A hour or so pasted by, All: ....................... Scimitar: I'm not too sure I want to know. >then >it was over. "Wow, look at the time. Its 2 am! I guess we will go to the Magical Kingdom All:(singing) M-I-C, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E, HEY! >in >the afternoon. I think we all need to sleep in." Rumiyasaid. Ksa: Twisted clone of Rumiya. > He got no argument for the >others. Misao and Rumiya said good night and left the guest room. Sasami lies next to Ryo-Ohki >and gives him a kiss on the check. "What was that for?" Ryo-Ohki asks. "Its a secret?" All: ...................... (the other MSTers look back and forth between Sasami and Xelloss) Xel: I'm not sure I want to know what you're thinking... Filia: I should have known.... (whips out her mace) YOU'RE TANK COP, AREN'T YOU!? CONFESS! CONFESS! Scimitar:(sweatdrop) Holy... Ksa: Well, I'll be! It's the Montey Python Spanish Inquisition stetch! > To be contiued! All:(stop what they're doing) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! > --------------------------------------------------------------- > Well my loyal fans Ksa:(Tank Cop) Socko, Mr. Bear, and the Scarecrow. Along with the voices in my head that tell me to write these stories. >and you to Ksa and your MST loser's. All: WHAT?! Filia: He knows you guys? Ksa: The fact that I've been watching his crud for too long, and giving him hell for it should be a slight clue. >Except you Rei my love! ^_^ Rei:(starts glowing) I think I'm just going to go start Third Impact right next to his house now. > I chose to add more dialoge to this one, Ryoga: You call _this_ dialogue!? >and more sex. Ksa: Believe it or not, he's right. Scimitar: How so? Ksa: Sasami and Misao had sex three different times in this fic- Oh god, I'm actually starting to retain this crap... >I hope you liked it. All: *cough*BULLSHIT!*cough* >That foursome >scene was not easy to write. Scimitar:(turns green) Thank you for reminding me. (throws up in a bag) Oh, I feel much better. > Just one more chapter to go till the end, (the MSTers all looked shocked for a few moments, then...) Ksa:(smiling) YAHOO! WE'RE ALMOST FREE OF THIS SERIES! Scimitar:(strikes a pose ala Terry Bogard) I'm finally going to be able to say, "Sammy's Little Secret" is no more, and _not_ be lying to myself. Rei:(smiling widely, which means extreme hapiness for her) No more Cop for you, hey! No more Cop for me, hey! No more Cop for we, YEAH! Ryoga:(singing and dancing) /~ There's a light at the end of the tunnel! /~ Filia:(extremely relieved) I've only see one chapter, and I'm tired of him already. Xel: Um, we shouldn't celebrate so soon. Ksa: Why? Xel:(evil grin) Let's say, evil knows evil. > maybe! All but Xel: ...................................... (they do a double-take) NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Xel: Told ya. >^_^ Ksa:(going SSJ/J) EVIL! YOU EVIL EVIL FIC WRITER!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GOING TO KAMEHAMEHA YOUR HEAD, TAKE OUT YOUR TINY BRAIN AND MAIL IT BACK TO YOUR MOTHER!! > Here's what you can expect next: Sammys Little Secret 5: Secrets No More Ryoga: We hope it's no more. >- In this one it all >ends. All: YES! >The war between Tsunami and Ramia, All: Slightly good. >Sasami and Misao tell there families about everything >(I mean EVERYTHING!), Rei: Okay, Sasami's family, I can picture it. But since in the OVA of Pretty Sammy, we hardly ever see Misao's parents, I can't imagine it. >and you will finds out what Sasami ment when she said "Its a secret?" Ksa: A really bad and disturbing impression of Xelloss, I hope. > Till then my friends. Scimitar:(Tank Cop) Who live in my head. > Tank Cop ^_~ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The group enter onto the bridge, while Wasabi exits from the control booth. "So, how are you-?" Wheelo began. Ksa replied, "No, we're not nuts, we think this is crap, and Tank Cop's still a moron." "Oh." Wheelo commented. "And before you try anything else..." Ksa said, then turned to the camera. "END!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ksawarrior's notes: To fans of the MST series, that's now on www.geocities.com/tenseiga/mst/index: Well, another Tank Cop lemon for you. And a first for me. Two fics in one MSTing. Never thought I could get it done on my lousy PC, but I did. YAY! ^_^ To the TMFFA, at www.tmffa.com: Well, I'm back. Yeah, my series have gone through alot of changes. But, I'm still ready, willing, and able to deal out justice to guys like Tank Cop, Strikestwice, and MikeForever. Hope to do some MSTings with the TMFFA crew again. Like Peter, Crusader. Hey Poet! Your MSTings rock, baby! To SVAM, at lefty.simplenet.com/svam: Well, I know I promised in my last file a Pokemon lemon, but when Tank Cop's involved, especially with the series I got started MSTing on, I have to deal with him first. Heh. Maybe I'll win a Silver Malley for actually dealing with Tank Cop for so long. ^_^ To Tank Cop: I've noticed something, other than the pedophilia in this lemon. You seem to have some obsessions with break-ups, things going into asses, and a lack of actual sense. Other than that, thanks for another story for me to MST. It's been fun! Ksawarrior & Wasabi are copyright themselves and their parents. Scimitar is the property of Ksawarrior. (not like that, hentais!) Rei, Ryoga, Lime, Wheelo, Filia, and Xelloss are not mine. I am only borrowing them. Ksawarrior@aol.com lefty.simplenet.com/svam www.tmffa.com www.geocites.com/tenseiga/mst/index Stinger: >"Sorry, you >fucked with me then you left me to go fuck my best friend, who was my enemy Misa, but now is >no longer and all you can say is sorry!"