In the world we live in, anime is a great medium. And of course, this 
can lead to fanfics. But not all fics are good. So, an elite group
has been chosen to MST these lousy fics:

KSAWARRIOR: the leader.
SCIMITAR: the violent one.
REI AYANAMI: the quiet one.
RYOGA HIBIKI: the stupid one (Ryoga: HEY!)
XELLOSS METALLIUM: The strange one.
WASABI: the recorder.

Together, these six are:
			 KSA AND THE MSTERS!
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File 8: Tenchi on a plate of Sashimi

"Hey, Ksa!" Wasabi yelled. "We gotta visitor!"
Scimitar stopped in the middle of his sandwich. *I've got a bad feeling about this*
"Who is it?" Rei yelled from her chair, where she was reading the latest Inu-Yasha novel.
Ksa quickly stopped Wasabi from answering.
"MSTers, report to the lobby!"
Soon, Ksa stood before his four friends.
"As you all know, we have now trouble, seeing as Kurei and the rest will be sending us fics"
"Your point?" Ryoga asked.
"Since we're dealing with psychos, I got a new memeber on our team. You may all want to kill me 
for this, though"
"Who is it?" Scimitar asked.
"HI EVERYONE!!" Xelloss walked in with a smile.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Rei, Ryoga and Scimitar screamed.
"What's their problem?" Wasabi asked Ksa.
"When we were on AnimePort 9, Xel made our lives hell."
"Why. Did. You. Bring. Him." Scimitar asked through clenched teeth.
"Because, firstly, the insane trio are going to send the worst fics, and he is our secret weapon 
for them."
"That, and I really like you guys." Xel added.
Then, the door opened.
Kurenai, the angel of flame, and Kurei's ultimate attack, dropped a film off.
"Guess this is it." Ksa said. "Right, Wasabi, head to the projection room, and monitor. The rest 
of you, follow me!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The gang all run into the theater. They do a few flips, and land in their places. From right to 
left, its Ryoga, Rei, Ksa, Scimitar, and Xel.)
Scimitar: I don't see why I have to sit next to him.
Ksa: If he says something, you can beat him up.
Scimitar: That still doesn't make up for this.

>Tenchi on a Plate of Sashimi

(Ksa turns several shades of green)
Ksa: Not this fic.
Scimitar: What is it?
Rei: This is a really screwed up Tenchi lemon.
Ryoga: How screwed up can it be? We've seen plenty of weird lemons.
Xel: I suggest you watch.

>By The Super Retarded Kid from Seanbaby's website, Alienboy 52

Ryoga: At least he admits he's retarded.

>Disclaimer:
>This fic is about Tenchi Muyo in my fucked up world so yeah, it's fucked up.
>Most of it is sick and probably sucks because I'm writing it. If you don't
>know I have real sick fantasies so if your not 18+ don't read this.

Xel: So, Rei is in violation of the laws here, eh?
Rei: Not really, the code says nothing about MSTers.
Ksa: Someone's been reading up on their fic laws, I take it.

>Yeah and I don't own these characters, but Pioneer and AIC do. And if I 
>did own these characters though, I probably wouldn't be writing a sick 
>fanfic would I?

>---

Xel:(British accent) Dash it all to hell!
Ryoga: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! NO BRITISH ACCENTS!!

>	"Tenchi, you are a loser!" taunted a menacing voice.

Scimitar: It took someone this long to figure that out?

>	"Huh? What the fuck! Where am I?" said Tenchi 

Ksa:(sarcastic) Oh yeah, like Tenchi has enough guts to say damn, let alone fuck.

>as he looked around
>at unfamiliar surroundings.

Xel: Then he turned and saw Ryoga.
Ryoga: WHY YOU-
Scimitar: Allow me. OOKAMI HONOU KEN!!
(Scimitar repeatedly punches Xel with his flaming fists. Finally, he runs out of breath)
Xel:(burned and brused) That was fun ^_^
Ksa: See, only the worst fics can kill him.

>	"You are on a plate of sashimi," said the voice.

Rei: Hence the title.

>	"Okay then..." Tenchi said as his voice trailed off.

Ksa: He's on a plate of sashimi, and he says ok then?
Xel: It happened to me plenty of times.
(The others stare nervously at Xel for a moment)

>	At that moment Tenchi heard a familiar voice.

>	"Oh Tenchi! Wake up my Tenchi!"

Scimitar: Three guesses who that is.
Xel: And the first two don't count.

>---

>	Tenchi woke up from his sleep to see Ryoko hovering over him,
>but something was wrong with Ryoko today. 

Xel: the beard was a dead give-away.
Others: XEL!!

>That's when Tenchi noticed it, 
>Ryoko's eye was missing.

Ksa: Not even Goku's that slow!!

>	"Ryoko! Your eye! It's missing!" gasped Tenchi.

>	"Of course it is! Don't you know! 

All: YOUR ASS BETTER CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL SOMEBOOOODDDYY!!!!

>Since the animators never gave me
>a cunt, 

(Ryoga's nose explodes)
Xel: So, if the animators didn't draw it, it doesn't exist?
(All the males check to make sure they have everything)
Ksa: Well, at least we're ok.

>I have to use the next best thing instead," explained Ryoko.

All(including Xel): .............................
Scimitar: The mental images, too horrible.
Xel(looking green): ........................
Ksa:(to Xel) At least your head didn't explode this time.

>	"But couldn't you have used your, uh, butt instead of your eye 
>socket?" asked Tenchi.

Ryoga: So he swears like a sailor in his dreams (assuming that this *shudder* isn't a dream) but
he's polite when he's awake?

>	"Washu plugged my ass up with butt plugs, so I'm left with my eye
>socket. Well? How'bout it Tenchi? Wanna fuck my eye socket?" asked Ryoko.

(most of the group start fumbling for the vomit bags. Xel, however is perfectly still)
Xel:(mouthing) I've felt worse. I've felt worse. (repeats)

>	"Stop right there you monster! You will not have the pleasure of
>having Tenchi up your eye socket!" yelled Ayeka as she busted into Tenchi's
>room.

Ksa: And thus, someone is slightly in character.

>	"Hey! What happened to the security on Tenchi's door?" asked Ryoko.

>	"Azaka and Kamadake were horny, so I let them have sex with it," 
>answered Ayeka.

*PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!*
(Xel's head explodes, sending streamers and confetti all over the place)
Scimitar: Holy-
Rei: That confirms it, this fic is bad.
Ksa: Hey, it's snowing! ^_^
(the others glare at Ksa)
Ryoga: How can you be so calm?!
Ksa: I keep thinking over and over, 'Xel's dead now'
Scimitar: So you brought him just to kill him off?
Ksa: Yep ^_^
Rei: Ksa, you're a genius.
Xel(head just grew back): I heard that.
(The others jump as Xel takes his place again)

>	"Hey! What's going on here! This is fucked up! How can logs have sex
>with a security system?!" yelled out Tenchi.

Ryoga: Oh, so he's back to swearing?
Ksa: At least he asked a sensible question.

>	"Because you are on a plate of sashimi Tenchi. You will now see the
>one you desire most enter your room now," said the unknown voice.

(the group are all laying money on the floor)
Ksa: I say its Mihoshi.
Scimitar: I'm with Ksa on this.
Xel: I think its gonna be Washu.
Ryoga: If it Sasami, I'm gonna kill this guy.

>	And at that moment Noboyuki entered the room. 

*PLOOOOOOOOOT!!!*
(Xel's headless body falls to the ground. And the others, well.....)
Ryoga: WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?
Ksa: I'm sorry for all my sins, please, JUST TAKE THE BAD FIC AWAY!!!
Scimitar: The end is nigh.
Rei: Too late, its already here.

>Tenchi gazed at his
>father, Tenchi couldn't stop himself from getting an erection from looking
>at his father. Noboyuki stared back at Tenchi and blushed, it was obvious 
>that Noboyuki wanted Tenchi.

Xel:(head just regenerated) Oh, damn, I hoped it was a nightmare
Ksa: Could be worse.
Ryoga: How so?
Ksa: It could be Yosho.
*PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!!!*
Scimitar: You enjoy doing that, I take it?
Ksa: Why, I believe I do.

>	"Father, please, give it to me up the ass," said Tenchi, trying to 
>sound as seductive as he could to his father.

Scimitar: And Ayeka and Ryoko have nothing to say to this.
Rei: At least they're not joining in.

>	"Tenchi! You have given me a huge erection, 

All: We didn't need to hear that!!
Xel: What happened?

>and Ryoko's eye socket
>is just amazing too," said Noboyuki, "Hey Ryoko? Would you mind if I used the
>blood from your eye socket to lubricate my penis?"

(The whole group started to vomit into the bags. Yes, Xel didn't explode, this time)

>	"Of course, you are Tenchi's dad after all," said Ryoko.

>	"Please! Use my eye instead! Jurai blood is better than that demon's
>blood any day!" said Ayeka as she pushed Ryoko out of the way.

Rei: They really aren't helping this!!

>	"Hmmm... Tenchi, I'm going to use Ryoko's eye socket, you should
>go to Ayeka and puncture her eye with your penis. 

All: *blink*

>That way we'll have twice
>as much lubricant," said Noboyuki as he grabbed Ryoko's head and pushed his
>penis into Ryoko's eye socket.

All: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!

>	"Tenchi, please, puncture my eye with your penis, I want to feel the
>pleasure that you can only get when you are fucked in the eye," said Ayeka.

Ryoga: You mean, people actually do that?
Xel:(hands on head) Not going to blow up this time.

>	"Are you sure about this Ayeka? I mean, I've heard stories of women
>who've lost their eye for the first time, and they all say that it's very
>painful," asked Tenchi.

Ksa: So, Tenchi's been in Noboyuki's archive.
Scimitar: Will you stop giving us mental images!!!

>	"Yes, I'm sure, I've wanted it like this even since the first time
>I laid eyes on you," said Ayeka.

Rei: Wait, which Tenchiverse is this based on? Because the OVA wouldn't back up that comment very
well.........

>	"But you kicked me off your bed... oh well, never mind," said Tenchi

Ksa: Well, at least there are somethings that could be worse.
Xel: I'm actually afraid to ask. What?
Ksa: The other Tenchi girls could get in on it.
*PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!*

>as he put his penis in front of Ayeka's eye. Tenchi quickly punctured Ayeka's
>eye, and entered her socket. 

All:(rubbing their eyes)
Rei: I don't think puncturing an eye is as good as the normal way.
Ryoga: And how, pray tell, would you know of that way?
Rei:(blush) Um, well, y'see....
Xel:(getting back up) I think I'd rather get hit with a Dragon Slave, then go through more.

>He could feel Ayeka's brain with his penis,
>the pleasure was just too much for him. Tenchi shot his semen onto Ayeka's
>brain.

All: STOP THE MENTAL IMAGES!!! THEY'RE TOO HORRIBLE!!!!

>	As Tenchi regained his composure he noticed that Ayeka was on the 
>floor. She was wriggling like crazy due to the fact that she had just had
>her brain hit by Tenchi's penis.

Xel:(Tenchi) Hmmm, if I move it this way, well whadya know, she acts like roadkill.

>	"Tenchi! You haven't forgotten about me have you?" said Noboyuki.

All: WE WISH WE COULD!!

>	"Of course not dad! Here, let me spread my ass out for you so you
>can enter me," said Tenchi as he spread out his ass.

All:(gagging like crazy)

>	Tenchi wasn't prepared for what happened next. Noboyuki entered 
>Tenchi quickly and started pumping his penis in and out of his sons anus.

Ksa, Scimitar & Ryoga: HYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ksa:(Goes SSJ/J) KAME......
Scimitar: OOKAMI....
Ryoga: SHI SHI...
Xel: They're taking this a bit far, aren't they?
Rei: You don't know them like I do.

>	"Oh yeah dad! You like that don't you! Come on fuck your son! Your
>nothing more than a pig are you?" Tenchi yelled to his dad.

Rei:(trying not to hurl) Shouldn't his dad be the one talking like that?
Xel:(also trying not to hurl) Please, don't ask me.

>	"Oh yes Tenchi! You're so tight, I think I'm gonna cum in your ass!"
>yelled Noboyuki as he fucked his son.

(Rei and Xel start vomiting freely)
Ksa: HAME.......
Scimitar: RECCA.....
Ryoga: HOUKOU....

>	"Tell me dad! Who's a better fuck? Me or mom? Tell me or you can't
>cum in me!" yelled Tenchi.

Rei & Xel: *Urp!*

>	"You are Tenchi! Your so much tighter than she was!" answered 
>Noboyuki, 

Ksa: HA!
Scimitar: HA!
Ryoga: DAN!
(The ki blasts fly towards the screen, merging into one beam. Suddenly, a Mew appears and 
disperses it)
Scimitar: What the-
Ryoga: Why is it-
Ksa: WASABI!!!
Wasabi:(in control booth) I can't let you destroy the screen, no matter how bad the fic is.

>"Oh Tenchi! I'm cumming!" yelled Noboyuki as he came into his sons
>ass.

All: Please, God, have the mercy to kill us all.

>	"Oh dad, that was so great, we have to do that more often," said
>Tenchi.

>	"Let's go downstairs to see what Sasami cooked for breakfast," said
>Noboyuki.

>	"Okay, let's go."

All: ....................
Ksa: Dear god.....
Scimitar: Not with her, please, NOT WITH HER!!!

>---

>	"Wow Sasami! That smells great what is it?" asked Tenchi.

Xel:(unknown voice) Its you on a plate of sashimi.
Ksa: That actually would be normal in this fic.

>	"Don't call me Sasami! I'm getting my name changed to Susami!" yelled
>Sasami/Susami.

All: *groan*
Ksa: Not only is it a disturbing lemon, its a tie-in with that fic.
Ryoga: Someone just shoot me now.

>	"So what did you cook?" asked Tenchi.

>	"I cooked my leg, that's why my leg is amputated now," said 
>Sasami/Susami.

All:(facefault)
Xel: I sense a little pirate theme here.
Scimitar: What makes you say that?
Xel: Ryoko doesn't have an eye, Sasami cut off her leg. All the signs are there.
(The others all jump Xel)

>	"Tenchi! You are a loser! 

Ksa: You're in this fic!

>You are on a plate of Sashimi," said the
>voice.

Rei: We got that joke already.

>	Tenchi suddenly got dizzy as he heard those words. After a few 
>seconds Tenchi fell to the ground and passed out.

Ryoga: Thus ending the fic.
Others: Yay!

>---

>	Tenchi awoke to only find himself, sleeping on a plate of Sashimi.

Xel: And then, Genma Saotome ate him.
Ryoga: Hey! I do the Ranma riffs around here!

>	"Well I guess that must have been a dream then, 

Ksa: And you sleeping on a plate of sashimi isn't a dream?

>Dad was so good too,"
>Tenchi thought aloud.

>	"Hey Tenchi! Look what I got!" yelled Noboyuki.

>	"What is it dad?"

>	"I got Ryo-Oh-Ki's eye socket!" 

All:(heads explode) *PLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!*

>---

>End


>I made this fanfic mainly because I wanted to make something that would make
>normal hentai's puke. 

All:(heads regenerated) You've accomplished that already!!

>Of course if you weren't disgusted by this fanfic,
>then you qualify for being more hentai than me, because I'm disgusted at what
>I wrote. Actually now that I think of it, this fanfic really sucked.

Ksa: Glad you admit it!

>Oh yeah 1st fanfic ever too, that's why this one sucks.

>Why not try to convert me at alienboy52@hotmail.com

Ksa: Pal, I own the Nyoibo staff, capable of changing to any length I want. I still wouldn't 
wanna touch you with it!

>Or you can go to the best website around

>http://www.seanbaby.com

>Seanbaby is just so sexy, I want to be like him someday.

Xel:(actually trembling) Is it over?
Ksa: Yeah, we can leave now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE MSTERS' THOUGHTS:
KSA: And I thought that I've seen it all.
SCIMITAR: The wrath of god would be a blessing compared to this fic.
REI: I think I'm paler then usual because of this fic.
RYOGA: So, instead of me just getting nosebleeds, you make me vomit all my vital organs? FREAK!
XEL: My head is still spinning from those explosions.
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Author's notes:
Firstly, this fic is really sick! If you read an un-MSTed version, I pity you, and your shrink.
Now, the reason I brought Xel into the fold is because, well, after I read Peter Suzuki's MST of 
this fic, I'm surprised that he didn't use Xel's exploding head gag.
Also, since he popped up while my crew were on Peter's show, I thought I'd put him on mine for 
the hell of it.

Ja Ne All!! ^_~