*************************************************************************** Jukeula, Misaka and Diralxbaliel are all owned by me, Lord Jukeula Magical Boy Pretty Donny is a creation of Magical Boy Pretty Donny (figure that one out), and is used with permission. All Tenchi characters are owned by Pioneer. "Adjusting to Maxim" was written by PHaw410653 This is my first MST, so be nice... *************************************************************************** ::The scene opens on some form of lobby/waiting room. A round table is centered in the room -- around it are three people, two of them seated (they're the human ones). A swirl of blackness appears behind the table...:: ::Jukeula emerges from the darkness.:: JUKEULA: Greetings, all! I am Lord Jukeula. In a little while, myself and several others will be watching a fanfic... oh, screw it. You know the drill. Introductions all around! ::Pause:: JUKEULA: This means you, guys. MBPD: Oh, right! I'm MBPD, which is an abbreviation-- DIRALXBALIEL: Acronym. MBPD: Yeah... an acronym for Magical Boy Pretty Donny. If you haven't guessed from the name, I'm a Sasami fan... hmm, what else... I tried to dye my hair to match hers, but the color didn't turn out right... JUKEULA: In other words, it's Oompa Loompa-green. MBPD: I told you not to tell them that! It's embarrassing! JUKEULA: And having 'pretty' in your name is not? MBPD: Shut up! Anyway, some people say that (aside from the color) my hair looks like Dilandau's. You know, from Escaflowne... JUKEULA: Yes, they know. And your time is up. MBPD: But I'm not do-- JUKEULA: NEXT! ::Misaka stands:: MISAKA: My name is Misaka-- JUKEULA: No relation to Misaki or any member of the Masaki family. MISAKA: Who? Anyway, I... well, I'm not quite sure why I'm here. I was sleeping (in bed, obviously) and I just woke up here. JUKEULA: I can explain that. You see, I needed some people to help me MST a fanfic. Therefore, you three fell through a convenient plot hole and ended up here. And, on a more personal note, that wasn't a very descriptive... description. MISAKA: What, did you want something like "I'm a 20-YR F who enjoys breathing and taking off my clothes? Turn-ons: Men with fangs?" JUKEULA: That was perfect! MISAKA: That was sarcasm. JUKEULA: I... I knew that. MISAKA: Of course. So, when do I get to go home? JUKEULA: Well that depends on how well this MST is received. Please, please, please... PLEASE like this fic!!! DIRALXBALIEL: There should have been a comma there. JUKEULA: What? DIRALXBALIEL: Between 'well' and 'that.' You're pausing in your speech - "Well, that depends..." See? JUKEULA: I.. guess... What's his problem? MBPD: I really have no idea. DIRALXBALIEL: It's my turn, right? My name is Diralxbaliel, as the literate among you already know. I am a Drake, approximately three and one half feet long, and I fly without any visible means of support. I've been living among humans almost my entire life, and having my name constantly misspelled and mispronounced has driven me to my current neurosis - pointing out every spelling, grammar and punctuation error I come into contact with. ::Pause:: JUKEULA: My turn, I guess. I am Lord Jukeula, Hentai Vampire! As the leader of this MSTing group, I take full responsibility for the actions and comments of all its members. Not that their actions could be that bad, because, as a precautionary measure, I've erected an STTS field to neutralize everyone's powers - even my own. MBPD: 'STTS'? JUKEULA: Star-Trek-Type-Stasis. What this means, of course, is that until I choose to let them go, everyone in the group is stuck here! A side effect of this field is that, no matter how long we spend in here, no time will pass in the outside world. I'll have to drop the field to send out records of our MSTings, of course, but other than that... ...uh... **--Meanwhile, in the theater--** ::Four seats are silouetted- DIRALXBALIEL: Silhouetted. :: ...near the bottom of the movie screen. On the far right is Diralxbaliel, to his left sits MBPD, and on his left is Misaka.:: MISAKA: So what's the deal here? MBPD: Basically, we're going to watch a Tenchi Muyo fanfic in movie form, and heckle it as best we can. MISAKA: That's it? MBPD: That's it. MISAKA: Okay. But what's 'Tenchi Muyo?' MBPD: ::Jukeula enters:: JUKEULA: Why didn't you guys tell me the movie was starting? MISAKA: Well, you were in the middle of a speech, and we didn't want to interrupt. Besides, you're cute when you're orating. JUKEULA: Really? MISAKA: No. JUKEULA: Still, I'm glad you saved me a seat next to you. Miska-chan. MISAKA: "Miska-chan?" Why aren't my powers working? JUKEULA: If you'd have stayed for my speech, you'd know. MISAKA: Switch seats with me. ::They switch as the movie begins:: >Adjusting to Maxim > I don't own any of the Tenchi Muyo characters. Except for Maxim, the rest >is >Pioneer's property. MISAKA: Wait a minute... he doesn't own any of the characters? Is that legal? DIRALXBALIEL: ... I'd rather not say. > This takes place two days after Maxim appeared... JUKEULA: Maxim... I've heard that name somewhere before... > The whole gang is at the dinner table... waiting for Maxim to return. MISAKA: I don't suppose the author's going to explain who "the whole gang" is. MBPD: It's kind of assumed that you know. > Tenchi: Where is he? I want to eat my dinner! > Yosho: It is impolite to eat without the whole family. > Tenchi: Family? Maxim isn't family. MISAKA: Okay, I think I got these two figured out. Yosho is the wise old Asian man, who makes cryptic-sounding comments like "When it is time to pick up my dry cleaning... I will know.", and Tenchi is the whiney "Stop looking at me like that" wimpish antihero. Right? JUKEULA: Judging by the way this fic is starting out? Probably. > Maxim appears in front of Tenchi.... JUKEULA: Teeeenchiiiiii... > Maxim: Yes I am Tenchi! MBPD: No, I'M Tenchi! JUKEULA: Don't you wish. > Noboyuki: Who are you? DIRALXBALIEL: Hasn't Maxim been living with them for two days? Shouldn't Noboyuki recognize him by now? > Maxim: (Insert 2 drops) I'm uh.... Ryoko's father!!!(Insert sweat) JUKEULA: Oh my god! Maxim's a Mass! > Ryoko: WHAT???? MBPD: Ah, script format. Beloved crutch of those without any writing skill. JUKEULA: Hey! I heard that! MBPD: Well, I said it loud. > Noboyuki: You are... so that makes us.... brother-in-laws? > Maxim: BROTHER!!! > Noboyuki: BROTHER!!! DIRALXBALIEL: Assuming that Washu's brother is married to Noboyuki's sister, then yes. MISAKA: Who's Washu? MBPD: You'll no doubt meet her soon. > They both hug! JUKEULA: Wow! It's good to know that they hugged! Isn't it, everyone! We're really lucky the author shouted that at us, or we might have missed it! MISAKA: Definitely! I probably wouldn't have noticed it, if it hadn't been for the punctuation! What would we do without exclamation marks!! > Tenchi: Maxim! MBPD: Bad dog! > Noboyuki: You got a fine daughter right there Maxim. JUKEULA: Right where? > Maxim: Thanks. ^_^ DIRALXBALIEL: I hope the author realizes that Maxim's last line was "Thanks caret underscore caret." > Ryoko: Ugh! DIRALXBALIEL: I guess he does. > Ayeka: Then who's the mother? MBPD: Washu is! DIRALXBALIEL: Unless this is based on the Tenchi TV series. MISAKA: Wait -- how many Tenchi series...es... are there? DIRALXBALIEL: Including the Sammy spinoffs? Six. Plus three movies, a manga, and too much fanfiction to count. And 'series' is both singular and plural. > Maxim: Shut-up Ayeka, or you'll go back to Jurai in very small little >black boxes. > Tenchi: MAXIM!!!!! MBPD: NO BISCUIT!!!! > Maxim is holding something.... MISAKA: What is it? MBPD: What is it? JUKEULA: That's the point of the thing, not to know! MISAKA: It's a bat! MBPD: Will it bend? MISAKA: It's a rat! MBPD: Will it break? DIRALXBALIEL: Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake. > Sasami: What's that? JUKEULA: Didn't we just go through this? > Maxim: This? Oh it's just a steak from the US. JUKEULA: What, they don't have steaks in Japan? DIRALXBALIEL: According to the movie "Mr. Baseball", not only do they have steak in Japan, but it's the best steak in the world. MBPD: So, Juke, what are you gonna believe -- a fanfic by an author who doesn't even put a pseudonym on his work, or a movie which probably reached a theater with capacity to seat more than us four? Think carefully, now! JUKEULA: Shut up, Loompa-boy. > Tenchi: Are you gonna... cook? > Maxim: Yeah. LOOK!! IT'S A NUDE WOMAN OVER THERE!!! MISAKA: I'm not nude! > Noboyuki and Yosho peer out the window. MBPD: Isn't Tenchi going to look too? JUKEULA: Why should he? He lives with Ryoko. He can see a nude woman whenever he wants. > Maxim, using his powers fries the steak to medium rare. DIRALXBALIEL: I'm not going to comment on how badly phrased that sentence was. > Tenchi: Where'd you get those powers? Are you related to Ryoko? JUKEULA: Yeah, he's Ryoko's father, remember? MBPD: Sounds like Tenchi's been around Washu too long... those statues have damaged his brain. > Maxim: No, I just had these powers for as long as I can remember. > Maxim pulls out a large knife.... MISAKA: AHHH!!! He's going to kill us! > Ayeka: AHHH!!! He's going to kill us!(Faints) JUKEULA: Whoa... Deja vu. MBPD: What? JUKEULA: Nothing -- just had a little Deja vu. MBPD: Stop that! > Maxim: What weird images the imagination makes in our minds. MISAKA: You said it, Maxim. > Maxim starts to cut the steak... > Few minutes later.... DIRALXBALIEL: I think he meant to put an 'A' in front of that sentence. > Tenchi: That was actually good Maxim. You did well! > Maxim: Well, I bet you are wondering what that pod was... it was > Washuu enters and cuts Maxim off in mid-sentence > Washuu: A pod used to preserve whatever it was holding. That can keep > someone alive for over 1000 years. Sorta like what I was imprisioned in. JUKEULA: Did they miss a couple of lines here? DIRALXBALIEL: Probably the ones where they explain what "imprisioned" means. > Tenchi: Really? > Maxim: Any other questions? MISAKA: How do they cram all that graham? > Ryoko: How'd you become the greatest Bounty Hunter in the galaxy? > Maxim: I had a deadly attitude and I carried a big gun. Next? JUKEULA: So... Ryoko's father is Nagi? MBPD: Hey, this might be based on the OAV. Nagi didn't exist in that. JUKEULA: Yeah, but that would mean that Washu didn't really use the Mass to create Ryoko! It would negate the whole point of the "Ryo-oh-ki gets a human body" episode! MBPD: That wasn't the point of the episode! The point was that Ryo-oh-ki got a human body! MISAKA: Is there any chance you guys could explain what you're talking about? MBPD & JUKEULA: Not much. > Ayeka: How were you captured? If you were the greatest Bounty Hunter? > Maxim: My beer was spiked, heavily, and then I was captured, put in >that >giant > floating anal probe, and landed here. MISAKA: Okay, assuming his "greatest Bounty Hunter" story is true, then the only people who would want him out of the way are the criminals he captures. So wouldn't they just kill him, rather than seal him in an anal probe? JUKEULA: Smile and nod. MISAKA: > Noboyuki: I can't find that nude girl, where is she Maxim? > Maxim:......... Oh yeah. She left, it's pretty cold out there. DIRALXBALIEL: So, it's a cold season in Japan. I'll keep that in mind. MBPD: Why? DIRALXBALIEL: So I can point out any inconsistencies later. > Maxim gets up.... > Maxim: Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk, anyone want >to join? > Ryoko: Me! > Ayeka: Me! Uh I mean No! I'll just watch to make sure you don't plot >on >stealing > Tenchi! DIRALXBALIEL: Is everyone else as confused as I am? JUKEULA: Yes, Dirx, I think we are. DIRALXBALIEL: Please don't call me that. JUKEULA: Uh... okay... > Maxim: See you at my room in the attic. > The Next day..... > Tenchi opens the door to Maxim's room.... thousands of beer cans, >bottles, and sake jars fall out of the room. Ryoko and Ayeka are in a drunken >sleep. JUKEULA: Oh, I... oh. MBPD: ...what? JUKEULA: Well, I... oh. MBPD: What is it, Tenchi? I'm arranging matches. JUKEULA: I... I better go. MBPD: Yes, I think you better had. MISAKA: ...Well, that was obscure. > Maxim: They both keeled over after glass four! MBPD: I find that hard to believe. > Tenchi: Maxim? You're still sober and drinking? > Maxim: Yep! > Tenchi: Will you help me get them out of here? JUKEULA: This isn't the Tenchi we know and love! Tenchi would leave them there, say something about how 'they deserved it', and make sarcastic comments when they woke up! DIRALXBALIEL: Are you sure? JUKEULA: No, that was all wrong. It was just a little misdirected anger. Sorry. > Maxim: Ummm... no.(Fades out) > Maxim appears in front of a tree and lies down to sleep. > Voice: HI! MBPD: That voice... could it be... > Maxim: AHHH!!!! Who's there? > Sasami: It's me Sasami. MBPD: It is! JUKEULA: You know what Sasami would say if she saw you now, Donny? MBPD: What? JUKEULA: She'd say: "Oh, is Wonka giving you the day off? That's nice of him." MBPD: Shut up, Juke! MISAKA: Yeah, don't be so mean. I'm sure you've got a crush on an anime character too, right? ::Close up of Jukeula's face.:: FEMALE V/O: Juuuuke-samaaaaa.... JUKEULA: Mmmmmm... MISAKA: Forget I asked. > Ryo-ohki: Meow! > Maxim: Oh, you two. What do you want? > Sasami: Are you happy here? > Maxim: What? > Sasami: You seem terribly sad... why? > Maxim: I've had a sad life... full of death, drinking and corruption. MISAKA: Yeah, but you've got a magazine named after you. That's gotta count for something. > Sasami: Do you have a family. I bet they're worried about you. DIRALXBALIEL: Or at least they would be, if they were phrased in the form of a question. JUKEULA: What? DIRALXBALIEL: That didn't make any sense, did it? I must be tired... > Maxim: Oh to be 8 years old again... but I have no family. I had to >raise >myself since I > was 7 years old. My "Family" was a band of space >pirates.... >not much of a > family, but they taught me how to act smoothly in tough >situations, operate any type of spacecraft, fight with any sort of weapon, >and >how to break handcuffs. Then they left me at a bar when Galaxy Police came. >Well, what do you think Sasami? MISAKA: He's a bounty hunter who was raised by space pirates? Isn't that a little contradictatory? DIRALXBALIEL: That's not a word. MISAKA: Um... JUKEULA: Smile and nod. To both of them. > Sasami is laying down next to Maxim, sleeping. Ryo-oki is sleeping on > Maxim's chest. MBPD: She's so cute when she sleeps... JUKEULA: Shut up, Donny. > Maxim: I have got to stop getting lost in a conversation. > The next day..... MBPD: So, how much time has passed since the fic started? DIRALXBALIEL: Hmm... Two days and a few minutes. > Ayeka is trying to hurry downstairs so she can watch her favorite soap >opera on TV. JUKEULA: You know, real authors try to show without telling. DIRALXBALIEL: ... I'm sure you have a right to complain. JUKEULA: Hey, just cause I can't do it any better doesn't mean I can't bitch about it. > Ayeka: Today is the day when Tetsuo and Yami get married. I can't wait! MBPD: Tetsuo! JUKEULA: Kaneda! > When she gets down to the TV room, guess who's sleeping on th couch, >with >the TV on..... JUKEULA: Mihoshi! MBPD: Ryoko! MISAKA: Tenchi! DIRALXBALIEL: 'The' is spelled with an 'E'! >Maxim! He has the control right next to his hand. > Ayeka: If I can just grab the TV control, he won't know till it's too >late >and I'll get to see the marriage scene. > She reaches for the control.... MISAKA: Will she get the control??? Tune in next week! > Ayeka: Almost got it. MBPD: If she wants to get the control without waking Maxim up, she should probably stop talking out loud. JUKEULA: This is Tenchi Muyo we're talking about. Do you expect the characters to act logically? MBPD: Good point. > Maxim's hand shoots out and grabs hers. > Maxim: I don't think so... I'm watching American Hunter, an NRA show >about >hunting. I don't care about Soap Operas! DIRALXBALIEL: I'm sorry, this is just too much for me. This is Japan these characters are in. This means no guns. This means that the chance of an NRA-sponsored show about hunting actually being shown on television is smaller than the chance that Washu and Ryo-oh-ki will elope and fly away in Noboyuki, who was a spaceship all along! ::And somewhere, out there, a fanfiction writer gets an idea for a story...:: > Ayeka: Give me the control Maxim! That's an order! > Maxim: Are you.... ordering me? > Ayeka: Umm.... yeah. > Maxim: I don't like being ordered around your highness... it's one of >my >very bad most hated things of all! Now sit down! WE'RE WATCHING HUNTING!!! >That's an order.(Smirks) DIRALXBALIEL: That's something to keep in mind. Good to know what everyone's 'very bad most hated things' are. Mine are sentences that don't make any sense. > Ayeka grabs control.... Maxim stands up. JUKEULA: Um... Dirx? I mean, Diralxbaliel? Shouldn't that be 'grabs THE control?' DIRALXBALIEL: Oh... I had assumed that the author meant that Ayeka grabbed control of the situation. And, if you must shorten my name, 'Baliel' will be fine. JUKEULA: Kay. > Ayeka: Now we're watching my soap opera. > Maxim: Give it back!(Pushes Ayeka) > Ayeka: NO!(Pushes back) > Ring Bell: DING DING!!! Ayeka vs. Maxim. MBPD: That was almost poetic. MISAKA: "Ring bell ding ding..." Yeah, it's either a line from a poem, or a meal in a Chinese restaurant. > Ayeka throws down the control... > Ayeka: You know I'm not powerless! > Maxim: I know that, you Jurais are a pretty powerful race. Especially >the >Royal Family! DIRALXBALIEL: Yes, of course! It all makes sense now! The secret of Jurai power is that people spell "Jurians" wrong! > Little Azakas and Kamidakes appear around Maxim.... MISAKA: Who? > Maxim: What are these little toilets? MBPD: Wow, Maxim is a little immature, isn't he? I mean, calling Ayeka's force shield a bunch of little toilets, claiming to have been trapped in an anal probe for years... JUKEULA: Well, he is a little bit of every Tenchi throw-away character. Why not a little Beavis and Butthead as well? > A giant eletrical current zaps Maxim. DIRALXBALIEL: Maxim was shocked... to realize that "eletrical" is not a word. MBPD: Umm... Puns aren't funny. They try to be, but they aren't. DIRALXBALIEL: I know. I'm sorry. > Maxim: Yeouch!! These things pack a punch. > Ayeka: Surprised? Now to end this conflict! > Maxim: Don't play with matches.... JUKEULA: ...you might have to arrange them again. > Maxim throws a laser at Ayeka... it sends her into the kitchen. > Maxim: You could get burned!!! > Tenchi: What's going on here? > Maxim: A little lesson teaching from me, Ayeka thinks she can beat me. DIRALXBALIEL: . . . JUKEULA: How can you interrupt without saying anything? DIRALXBALIEL: It's a skill. > Maxim rips off the railing of the stairs. > Maxim: Batter-up! MBPD: Isn't Tenchi going to do anything to stop this? He tries to stop all of Ayeka and Ryoko's fights... JUKEULA: That's just because he likes getting stuck between them, and their... assets. > Maxim runs into the kitchen. Ayeka is just getting up. > Maxim: Don't take this too personally. > Swings railing like a huge bat. MBPD: This really is like a poem. MISAKA: It's a haiku: Ring bell ding ding, pause. Swings railing like a huge bat. This fic really sucks. ::Applause from the other MSTers:: > Ayeka: Oh no! > Ayeka barely got her defense shield up before Maxim hit her with that > railing. But she still asorbed the impact, which sent her outside! JUKEULA: Thru the kitchen wall? Damn, Sasami's gonna be pissed... MBPD: Sasami doesn't get pissed. She'd just sigh, and say "Well, what are we going to do for dinner now?" DIRALXBALIEL: Through is spelled T H R O U G H. JUKEULA: "Thruff?" And how can you tell how I spelled it? I said it out loud! DIRALXBALIEL: It's just one of my many talents. Like interrupting. > Ryoko: What the heck is going on? > Tenchi: Maxim and Ayeka are fighting. Now that's something new and >different. > Ryoko: I gotta go see this... > By the time Ryoko gets outside, Maxim has already electricuted Ayeka. DIRALXBALIEL: Hey, author guy? I know you'll never be blessed with the pleasure of my company, but you can still have the next best thing: a spell checker. > Ayeka: How can you do these things?? > Ryoko: Yeah, you're supposed to be like me. > Maxim: I don't know! But you sure can come in handy Ryoko. EVERYONE: ...What? > Ryoko: Huh? MBPD: It's good to know that Ryoko's as confused as us. > Maxim grabs Ryoko and throws her at Ayeka... > TAG TEAM!!! Ryoko & Ayeka vs. Maxim!! > Maxim: This isn't fair. > Ryoko: Who said it had to be fair?(Throws an energy blast) > Maxim catches energy blast and starts glowing green.... > Maxim: Not only can I emmit electrical shocks from my fingers, I can > asorb YOUR > energy blasts, but I can amplify it! And redirect it!!! DIRALXBALIEL: And not only that, but I can make up words, too! > Maxim throws the energy blast at Ayeka. > Ryoko: What else can you do? > Maxim: This!! JUKEULA: This isn't the most inspired dialogue I've seen in a fanfic... > Maxim starts shooting energy blasts like a machine gun. > Ryoko: Incoming!(Fades out) > Tenchi runs out and tries to stop this mess. > Maxim: No need for you Tenchi! JUKEULA: Oooo, that was witty! MISAKA: What? JUKEULA: One possible translation of 'Tenchi Muyo' is 'No need for Tenchi.' MISAKA: Oh, so it was sarcasm, then. JUKEULA: Yes. > Maxim teleports Tenchi to Yellowstone National Park in America. > Ayeka: Bring him back! > Ryoko: Yeah! > Maxim: You two spend all you time fighting each other and now you're > both > fighting with each other? You two are very strange! DIRALXBALIEL: Not as strange as the way you phrased that last sentence... JUKEULA: Yeah, it's strange... except that they did it when Washu appeared in the TV series, and several times later when they were trying to get to Jurai, and when they were fighting Kagato in the OAV, not to mention Dr. Clay, and in the first Tenchi Muyo movie... and probably in Tenchi: Forever... > Ryoko: Not as strange as you're going to look after we're through with > you. > Both girls attack from both sides, hitting Maxim with everything > they've > got. Maxim wasn't really prepared to fight both girls. > Maxim: Dammit! This is not cool! (Fades out) > Ayeka: Come back coward. MBPD: Bueller. > Maxim teleports back with Tenchi. > Tenchi: Now stop it you three. > Maxim: She started it. > Ayeka: Did not! > Ryoko: Ayeka! Our Soap Opera almost over. > Ayeka: Let's hurry... > Maxim: Yoohoo, Ayeka! > Ayeka: What? > Maxim pulls out TV control from his pocket. > Maxim: Looking for this? MISAKA: Sorry it's so moist... > Ayeka runs over to Maxim and clutches his shoulders... > Ayeka: Please Sir Maxim! Give it me! GIVE IT TO ME!!!! JUKEULA: Well, this is sudden! > Maxim: Oh, alright. But you owe me. > Ayeka: Thank you Sir Maxim.(Grabs control and kisses him) MBPD: Why'd she kiss him? He was just being cruel! JUKEULA: I have a feeling the author's going to try and explain. > Both girls leave to go watch their Soap Opera. > Maxim is still standing there.... > Tenchi: What's the matter Maxim? > Maxim: What was the kiss for? > Tenchi: Ayeka's been watching that Soap Opera for a long time. She > really wants to see her two favorite characters get married and now they > finally > have. > Maxim: Oh! A "Gratitude Kiss", she was really grateful to me. MBPD: Oh yes, of course. She was really grateful that Maxim made her miss most of her show because he wanted to sleep on the couch. DIRALXBALIEL: ...while watching a program that couldn't possibly be on TV. > As it turned out, Ayeka did not miss the wedding of Tetsuo and Yami. JUKEULA: And there was much rejoicing. > That night.... > Maxim and Sasami are sitting down by the lake. > Maxim: So you see Sasami, you just cast your line out like this and > wait > for the > fish to take a bite. Then you jerk the line to get the fish > onto the hook > and then reel him in as fast as possible. DIRALXBALIEL: Isn't it supposed to be winter or something? What was all that about the nude woman being too cold outside? MBPD: Well, Maxim and Sasami are wearing clothes. At least, I hope they are. DIRALXBALIEL: Oh... that makes a difference? ::Sweatdrops all around:: > Sasami: How will I know if I have a bite? > Maxim: Trust me, you'll know. JUKEULA: Oh, will you ever know.... HA HA HA HA!! MBPD: Shut up, Juke. > Two minutes later... > Sasami: I've got a bite! > Maxim: Jerk the hook. JUKEULA: Yeah... Jerk that hook, baby! MBPD: Shut up, Juke! > Later on.... > Maxim: A 7 inch fish! Man, I only caught a 4 incher on MY first try. ::Jukeula begins giggling uncontrollably:: MBPD: SHUT UP, JUKE!!! > Sasami: That was just beginners luck. > Ayeka walks up to Maxim... > Ayeka: Sir Maxim.... JUKEULA: What on Earth are you doing to my sister?? MBPD: sh...shut up... Juke... JUKEULA: I think I may have gone a bit too far. Oh, well. > Maxim: Sir? > Ayeka: Because you gave me the control, I was able to see my most > anticipated episode of all time. Thank you. MISAKA: Of course, she missed most of it cause he wouldn't give up the remote till after she beat him up... > Maxim: If you just call me Maxim, then you won't owe me any favors in >the >future. > Ayeka: Done. > Sasami: Ayeka, look at this fish I caught. MBPD: See, Juke? She really was just fishing! JUKEULA: Believe whatever you want, Donny. > Ayeka: Wow! Did you teach her Maxim? > Maxim: Well, a little.(Pulls out a beer) > Ayeka: Drinking in front of Sasami? How could you! You savage brute. JUKEULA: Um... everyone else in the family drinks in front of Sasami... It's not like it's that big a deal... DIRALXBALIEL: You just said 'everyone else in the family.' JUKEULA: So? What's wrong with that? DIRALXBALIEL: You're including Maxim in the family. JUKEULA: nnnnnNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! > Maxim: So much for that grateful bit. Thanks for the kiss Your HighAss! > Ayeka: When Tenchi hears of this, you'll be sorry! He loves me you >know? DIRALXBALIEL: Does he love you I know? I don't know... > Maxim: I don't see why.... > Ayeka: What? > Maxim: #1. You're a stuck-up bitch. #2. You are too dominating. and #3. > Your tits, are too small! JUKEULA: Hey, maybe Tenchi likes to be dominated! > Ayeka is red with rage. > Ayeka: WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW!!!! YOU'RE A GUY!!!!!! MISAKA: Damn straight! > Ayeka storms off... > Maxim: What bug crawled up her ass and bit? > Sasami: I don't know. MBPD: Come on, Sasami! Why are you letting him talk about your sister like that? JUKEULA: Because this is a fanfic, Donny. The characters act very strangely. Which explains the Sasami-Maxim sex scene we just witnessed. MBPD: SHUT UP, JUKE!!!!!! > Maxim: I like you more than your sister. > Sasami: Who are you in love with? Ayeka, Ryoko, Washuu, Mihoshi, or > Kiyone? JUKEULA: Aha!! This fic is TV based! I'm glad the author finally told us. MISAKA: Why does Maxim have to be in love with anyone? JUKEULA: So we can have a cliff-hanger ending. > Maxim: Well, I just like you as a friend Sasami. > Sasami: I know that, but who do you love. > Maxim: Promise you won't tell? > Sasami: Promise. > Maxim leans over and whispers in Sasami's ear. > Sasami: HER?? EVERYONE: Who? Who could it be? The suspense is killing us! THE END EVERYONE: NOOO!!! Now we'll never know! ::Everyone flees the theater:: **--Back in the lobby...--** JUKEULA: Okay, people -- commentary time. DIRALXBALIEL: Lots of spelling and punctuation errors, phrasing that didn't make any sense... I loved it! Correcting stuff like this is my life's work. MBPD: The plot didn't really go anywhere... it had a few funny bits, but no point. I'd be a little bit more irritated if I thought the author took this story seriously... And Sasami was a doppleganger! She managed to be OOC without acting any differently! MISAKA: This is what you people do in your spare time? JUKEULA: Well, yes. What else should we do? MISAKA: ...I'm still kind of confused about what Tenchi Muyo is all about, so I think I'll skip the commentary this time. JUKEULA: Fair enough. Hmmm... This fic struck me as something someone wrote in one sitting, very late at night, blindfolded. The story seems to hint that a prologue exists, but let me assure you, the chances of me caring are very, very slim. If I were you, anonymous author-guy, I'd... hey, Baliel? Is 'proofread' one word? DIRALXBALIEL: I'll allow it. But just this once. JUKEULA: Great. I'd proofread next time. I'd also work on your supporting characters - it's no fun if a character you made up monopolizes the screen time, and has abilities far exceeding that of the regular cast... okay, it worked with K'thardin, but otherwise - MISAKA: Remember when I said you're cute when you're rambling? I didn't mean it. JUKEULA: Right... I'll wrap this up, then. Next time: proofread! DIRALXBALIEL: I said I'd only allow it once, Juke. ::Jukeula sighs:: JUKEULA: That's pretty much it, folks. You can go back to whatever you were doing. MISAKA: Does this mean I get to leave now? JUKEULA: Do you really want to? Knowing what you do now? MISAKA: Yes. JUKEULA: Well, then, you can't. MISAKA: Bite me, Juke. JUKEULA: Really? MISAKA: Uh... \ | / \| / - - * - - / | \ / | \ :: *FWOOSH* :: Stinger: > Maxim runs into the kitchen. Ayeka is just getting up. > Maxim: Don't take this too personally. > Swings railing like a huge bat. **************************************************************************** So, what do you think? That was my first, sad attempt at a MST... questions, comments and flames should be sent to jukeula@hotmail.com. Hey, if you don't tell me, I'll never know... Thanks go to MBPD for letting me use his persona. And why didn't the author put his name in the fic? I know, it's filed under his name in Gensao's archive, but still... Till next time... I remain Lord Jukeula. ****************************************************************************