Invasion of the Tenchi Snatchers by Bob T. Mi-go who wishes the inspiration for this story had never happened. (This spamfic was written for the OAVs, but is equally valid within the first TV series. You need to be familiar with the classic "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and the first few episodes of "Shin Tenchi Muyo" ["Tenchi in Tokyo"] to fully appreciate it. Tenchi and co are the property of Pioneer and AIC and if they're going to make anything else like Shin, they can keep 'em. Okayama Research Institute and Professor Hayanasai ["cabbage"] are names I made up on the spur of the moment and are not intended to represent any real establishment or person. This fic is copyright (C) 1999 Robert J. Cannard, as far as is legally applicable. Permission is granted to distribute by any means whatsoever provided no fee is charged and the entire document is distributed whole and unchanged. 2nd draft, March 7, 1999; C&C mailto:bobtmigo@teleport.com) Ryoko woke up with a raging hangover. She'd known it would be a mistake to sample Washu's "brew", but the scientist had a talent for making people do things they'd rather not have done, and so here she was with multiple sledge- hammers banging out the 1812 Overture on the inside of her skull. She went to the bathroom, cleaned herself up, then teleported outside for some fresh air. Aeka was standing on the deck outside the big bedroom. There was a sort of blank look on her face, and she was reciting something... "Tenchi, Lord Tenchi, oh my Tenchi, Tenchi Tenchi Tenchi!" "A fine poem," said Azaka. "Truly, it captures the essence of the morning," said Kamidake. "That's a poem?" Ryoko wondered, turning a slightly greener shade of yellow. "I know she's a few syllables short of a haiku, but didn't think her brain was that far gone." She'd had quite enough fresh air. Knowing that Sasami's good cheer and even better breakfast would quickly put her back into shape, she teleported into the kitchen. "G'morning Sas- Sasami?!" The young princess was as blank-faced as her sister, and was bouncing all over the kitchen, tossing ingredients around, flipping steaks through the air, dicing vegetables so quickly that the knife was a blur. When Ryo-Ohki tried to steal a carrot, Sasami threatened to use the knife on her. "No Nibbling!" Ryoko grabbed Ryo-Ohki and fled into the lounge. Washu was watching the news. A reporter was droning on about some big find apparently not too far from them: "... the discovery of a large number of pods near the impact site. Professor Hanayasai of Okayama Research Institute claims that the pods can take control of sleeping or otherwise vulnerable persons, so it's important to stay calm and do whatever you can to remain awake..." Washu switched off the set and turned, her face as unemotional as the others. "Well, Ryoko, I hope you're going to pay my fee soon," she said. "My services don't come cheap and I don't like being stranded on this backwater planet." "Fee? What the heck are you talking about?" Washu grinned blankly. Ryoko didn't like the look of that at all. She disappeared upstairs, hoping against hope that for once Tenchi wouldn't mind if she entered his bedroom. This time, she really needed his support. He wasn't there. Puzzled, she looked out of the window. He was standing high up in the branches of a tree. "That's weird," she thought. "Didn't think Tenchi went in for that kind of activity." She teleported across to him. "Morning, Tench. Greeting the dawn?" Tenchi turned towards her, his face completely vacant. His mouth opened. >From it emerged the most terrifying sound she had ever heard. "Ryoko, I'm going to move to Tokyo..." Ryoko screamed. END. FINI. NO MORE. OWARI YO!