Holly:Forced to read Bads Fic or certan Death the crew of the H.M.S Reducer ,a Imperal star Destroyer have to go were many MSTer has been befoire...certan hell.... Holly:aDitional message:Why in gods green earth did i have to bee this ships computer..... (Cut to the outside View of H.M.S Reducer a Stardestroyer with a red flag on the front with M.S.T and its name on the side.Cut to Tsengs cabin,its large huge full of fountins great furniture and lots of space....,are whole crew as follows is up here) Tseng:I WILL save you Kiyone-chan Kiyone:*groan*Helpppp Mihoshi:well were still alive.... Paladin:*sighs*....your right Mihoshi-chan... Wicked lady:...phil does this dress makes my bottom look big... Fry:...whaa!!" uhh no Wickie... Threepeo:i was knocked out and reprogramed to serve under Mster Jeff....I hate it!!!! Marvin the manicly depresed Robot:i hate my life.... (Auther:im in charge!!!!) (Fry is standing drinking a ber near a big button with a singh saying "Do not push") Fry:Hmmmmmm.....Wickie what does this button do??? Wicked lady:*painting a Portrait of Luna P*How shoud i know Phil...Ask Tseng...or Holly... Fry:...Yo Tseng..put down that Ctarl Ctarl penthouse.... Tseng:opps *Drops a Penthouse..it has a Female Ctarl in a skinky dress on the front*What Fry.... Fry:what does this button do??? Tseng:*Looks at sigh*it says do not touch..SO DONT TOUCH IT!!!! Kioyne:Yeah... Mihoshi:..shhh im watching th TV.... Frys mind :Do it...right Ren??? Ren hoick:DO IT DO IT! MWHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!! (Fry preeses the button......Outside view of the Reducer the engines at the back go out we pan back...we see Tatoonie it gets closer and closer as the Reducer heads towards the ground of the dessert planet) All:AHHHHH FRY!!!!!!! (the picture comes back but the crew is not in Tsengs cabin...there in a AT AT...that looks likie the inside of a carivan..only more plusher,Tseng wereing white shorts,T shirt his trademark white Zorro hat and cape and his black trainers) Tseng:....Were back on air...... Wicked lady OS:And you pressed the button Phillip..... Tseng:Hold the camra steadily Marvin... Marvin:why shoud i care...im not going to die anyway..... (we see Wicked lady who is wereing a black bikini and one of those skirt thingies they wrap arounf there waist its of course black..Luna P is wereing sun lotion under His eyes) Wicked lady:Oh Tseng were on again!!!! Tseng:...sorry Viewers...SOMEBODY!! had to press the button.. (The Camra turns to Fry on the couch he just wereing his jeans and T- shirt....) Fry:The Voices made me.....Anyway why are we here and were are we going??? Kioyne OS:were going to Mos esley cantina to get soem repair crew up here.... (Camra Turns to Kioyne...she is wereing a white T-shirt and black shorts the t-shirt is a little to tight and showing off the curves Tseng is drolling at her but stops reliseing she notices) Tseng:...ohhh errr right then..Marvin *opens windowmin AT AT*..Steer the Camra Out...... (The Camra goes through the hole and we see an AT AT moveing slowley away from the Reducer .The Reducer front half is sub merged on the sand of the dune sea we can see loads of Stormtroopers and ATSTs guarding it,Back to the AT AT) Tseng:...thanks Fry.... Fry:no probs...(we se he is watching something on TV) Mihoshi OS:Hay guys nobody told me you got the camra working again!!!! (The Camra turns in Mihoshi Direction..she is wereing her pink tanktop and a piar of cutoff below the thigh Denium Jeans hse is wereing a sun hat and has a blob of Sun tan lotion on her nose) Mihoshi:..hey Paladin..the Camras working...... HollY:ergghhh Tseng were haveing a bad transmition.... Kiyone:Pleaseeee dont be Jeff Jeff:Guess who!! Tseng:Oh hi Jeff we missed seeing your Mug (!) Kiyone:Good one Tseng *Hi 5s Tseng* Jeff:...Todays Fic is called "what the hell is this?" Fry:God no!!!! Threepeo:The content..Violence...Mild Lemon..... Wicked lady:...were gonna die..... (Holly apears as a moniter on a portable cabinet) Holly:ill get the fic ready on the TV... Tseng:...Oh Right.You guys are probley wondering were the Guests are...well the ray left back on the Reducer.......Were all doing it.... Wicked lady:*clutcher Luna P to her breats*were gonna Die like this..... Fry:err Wickie are you ok? Kiyone:...just start the fic...... (the whole crew sit on the soffa in the following order:Kioyne,Tseng,Fry,Wicked lady,Paladin,Mihoshi..and Holly Threepeo and Mavin will make comments to...) ****************************************************** What the Hell is this by:Ray moore Tseng:wellcome to hell... Wicked lady:...guys ...no diclamer *Evil smile*Lets get Poineer on the intercomm Kiyone:done it Fry:A tittle like that just scares me.... Tenchi came downstairs after a long nights sleep when he faced with a difficult choice. Wicked lady:...what to eat Fry:...who to choose Kiyone:...who to sue..... How to kill and Kill and Kill. All:!!!!!!! Wicked lady:...mind my language but WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!! Tseng:Jeff is SO dead!!!! Mihoshi:Im scared...*Glomps Paladin* You see during the night Tenchi contracted a mild case of Rabies from Ryo-oki..... Kiyone:Rabies mild.....AHAHAHHAHAHA Tseng:...A Tenchi who wnats to kill..I ahve a bad feeling about this....*Glomps Kiyone* Kiyone:...hay!!!!! Wicked lady:...woah!! Sparks!!! Paladin As Tenchi:I WILL kill and KILL till there no one left to kill MWHAHAHAHAH!!! Mihoshi:..Washu gave Ryo-oki shots ...and it had driven him insane.All he can Think about is ripping the flesh from evereyones bones. Kiyone:..not a pleasent though Tseng:*snuggles down on Kiyones arm* Mihoshi:aree cute i think he like you Kiyone ^^ Wicked lady:This is just the begging..... Fry:Of the fic or the teal haired girl and black eared Ctarl Ctarl demon.. Wicked lady:both... As he gets his first idea a smile creeps across his face and he starts to giggle. Paladin:..not a good sigh Kiyone:*Pries Tseng off herself*The heats getting to him *Blinks and finds she is holding a white cat with silver eyes black paws* Tseng:uhoh im in my cat form.... Wicked lady:...Has Tseng had his Rabies shots?? Tseng:HAY!!! What fun is about to happen. Fry:is he called killing his freinds and lovers fun....EW! Tseng:so...tired...*curls up on Kiyone lap* Mihoshi:cuteeeee Kiyone:...this heta is intence *Starts to pet Tseng with his hand*MY GOD!!! IM PETTING TSENG!!! "Kyone,when are you going to tell everyone about are love?"."Tell people?Are you mad Washu? All:!!!!!! Kiyone:what the f*ck!!!!!!! Mihoshi:..oh my... Wicked lady:...Tseng...be honest this fic Sucks allready right... Tseng:Maow!!! Paladin:OH MY GOD *Tips his beer over Tseng to wake him up....the result is funny a soaking Tseng sitting on Kiyone lap....) Tseng:opps *Blush*err Sorry Kiyone-chan *sits down on his part of the couch*,Yes Wicked lady i agree *Spots the last paragraph*MY GOD THIS AUTHER SICK!!! .........If word got out that I,A police officer were involved with the most insane scintest in the universe scandal woud rock the entire empire..... Kiyone:Dont give in.... Mihoshi:the jurian empire the galactic empire there so many Paladin:hey you stupid Auther you spelt scientist wrong!!! Wicked lady:Luna p say "Warning Hentai alert" Fry:oh god Luna p is allways right..... ." Washu leaned over and placed her hand on Kyones leg and whispered"Honey come back to bed and ill show you what to do with a badge." Kiyone as herself:no way i like Tseng *She blushis*Oh my the heat getting to me Tseng:Oh.... Kyone sighed and climbed under the covers and went to work.Tenchi had watched this entire exchange from the doorway and had a flash of insight."i knew that those plastic explosives I got from Minne may woud come in handy."Tenchi.... Kiyone:...the Auther woundent dare in Killing me off... Tseng:uh oh *Turns into a cat.....* Wicked lady:Luna P says there bloodshed comeing up... (The crew go pale) Mihoshi:Hellppp ussss "Ill be right back,"Said Washu as she went into the bathroom..... Kiyone:..then i shot her and Tenchi grabbed the secret of life and bedded Tseng..... Wicked lady:Tseng...are you hopeing the heat is not getting to her.... Tseng:..your right wickie...*turns back into his human form* She looked over and grabbed the soap.Or so she thought.When she climbed back into the bed she said "Honey i got the soap for a even better time,""Allright c0- Was all Kyone had time to say before Tenchi pressed the button on his remote detonator. Paladin:thats Datonater idiot.... Kiyone:*fals onto Tseng lap* Tseng:ACK!!! Paladin:she fallen for you Tseng.... Washu and Kyone were nothing more than spots on the floor of Washus lab. Kiyone:*opens her eyes and shoots up*Holly got that Auther name.... Holly:he lives on a baren plannet...we will blast it on the way back... Tseng:wow Kioyne-chan you realy pissed..... Tenchi giggled some more and felt a wave of light headness...... Wicked lady:It became so light his EXPLODED!! Fry:ending the fic... Paladin:...and there was mutch Rejoicing.. Kiyone:...killing me he will pay.... .....over him.Then he went to find that little Bitch Sasami who wanted to get into his pants."Little whore,"He though Tenchi as he left...... Mihoshi:!!!!!! Tseng:...if he IS going to kill Sasami i suspect that is the auther and Not Tenchi.... Paladin:...then preety Sami heard what he said came out the wall and battered Tenchi to death...... Wicked lady:...Luna P says theres going to be more Violence.... Paladin:Shall i pray for this Auther soul All:....... nahhh When he got outside Sasamis door he heard Metalica blaring as the CD player woud allow.That made Tenchi headache even Worse."Damn Little bitch screamed Tenchi!!!! Threepeo:...oh my i think Master Jeff is trying to kill us...... Tseng:ok...Crew...Kiyone Viewers Luna P and Marvin brace your self for whats going to hapen....... ....But the music was to loud for her to hear.He knocked on the door. Paladin:...if Sasami opened it and noticed Tenchi foaming out of his mouth.... Kiyone:This is all OOC this guys just wrote this because he HATEs us..... Wicked lady:..i hate people like that *Hugs Luna P....* The sight he saw was Shocking...... Tseng:My GOD I WANT OUT ALLREADY!!! Mihoshi:Tsengs??? Paladin:im agreeing with you... (Stormtrooper come in from the front cab of the AT AT_ Fry:...oh goodie (!) Wickid lady:were diging areown graves..... A Sasami was naked on her bed...... Tseng:Holly.....put the f*cking cencers on that thing!!!!! HollY:...AGHHH Right...Cencers activated..... Wicked lady:for once i agree....Dubs rock!!! ...holding a picture between her legs and Moaning softly.Tenchi looked at the picture and saw that it was a picture of him.... Tseng:...oh Bloody great (!).... Wicked ladt:ACK im temporally blind i cant see Tseng:oh Smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg........Etc Paladin:..i knew Tseng was gonna go first "That F*cking slut!"Tenchi Thought .But now he knew just how to kill the little B*tch.He left without her even knowing he was there and went downstairs. Wicked lady:Uo hoh.....My Stomuch just lurched.... Tseng:....Smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg smeg...ETC Kiyone:Were all gonna die were all gomma die were all gonna die...etc Mihoshi:Kiyone out (Luna P get a glass of water and splashis it over Kiyones head( Wicked lady:Good Luna P..... Kiyone:why Tseng saying that......were Doomed.... Paladin:Okay.....we are Dommed (Kioyne puts her face in her hands while Mihoshi starts sobbing) He went inside to the new grand Piano that they had goten for Ayeka and looked inside.He found a lose wire and ripped it free.Now all he had to do...... Paladin:...is to kill himself with the wire..... Wicked lady:...Better yet kill the Auther with the wire Tseng:Smeg Smeg etc.... (Kioyne gives him a kiss on the lips and wakes him up she then tips the water on him and slaps him a few times) Kiyone:..stay awake god damnit!!! Mihoshi:I cant bare to watch *Closes her eyes* ...was the lure the little corner-walker into his trap.Sasami had Turned of her Music and was just laying there on the bed thinking about Tenchi trying to find a way to get into his pants.then she heard a knock on the door and threw on her robe then opened the door.There was no one there.She was about to close the door when she saw a note laying on the floor it said,Sasami I have decided that you are the one I want.Meet me in Washus lan min,Dont worry about Washu I have taken care of her." Mihoshi:...this is way OOC!!!! Holly:I am a Fish I am a FISH i AM A fISH!!!!!!! Tseng:were loseing Holly..... Wicked ladY:Helppp (The whole crew scream in Terror) Tseng:Im glad im ready *Hands out some MST made Barfbags and put the buckit down...* Wicked lady:why did i have that Pasta sald for lunch.... Sasami heart flutterd..... Paladin:...so hard it burst from her chest giveing her a nice death.... Wicked lady:...THAT was Dark!!! ...and she ran down to Washus lab and went inside."Tenchi,"she called in her so sexy voice and walked.... Wicked lady:dont go near that big Machine thingie... Threepeo:why is this fic starting to feel like Scream 2.... ............Toward a table in the middle of the room."This shoud serve *****************" Wicked lady:Thank you god!!!!! Tseng:Thankls you cencers!!! ....She said,But she looked down and saw that she was standing in a puddle of goo that Washu and Kyone had turned into.At first she thought it was cabbir S*it.... but then she saw the red and black hairs and it dawned on her what had happend... All:we dragged the Auther from his computer and killed him in Washu lab!!! Mihoshi:Oh dear this is the gory bit *covers her eyes* ...just then she heard a portal open and felt something tighten around her throat.Tenchi was Strangleing her with some type of wire!!! She thought to get free but he was stronger then..... Wicked lady:the ATAT was beamed up by the Reducer and the fic eneded.... Tseng:Jeff head exploded...... Paladin:..the Mommy and Daddy dragged the Auther of the computer and killed him... her (Rabies itll do that to you) Kiyone:...this auther must of had then when he wrote this fic... Tseng:Pitty he wasent shot like old yeller Mihoshi:Poor old yeller... so it was no Avaall.The Last thing she remebered was Tenchi constant Giggleing and then she died.... Kiyone:Tenchi found that Funny..... Mihoshi:owie my head hurts... Tseng:oh gods were still alive.... When she stopped breathing Twnchi picked her up and placed her on the Table.He drove nails through her hands and feet and left her nailed to the table satnding against the wall. Kiyone:MY GOD HOW HORRIBLE *Vomits* Tseng:shoot me please.... Holly:I am a Fish i am a fish i am a fish...... Now Tenchi thought Killing Yosho woud a lot more fun... Wicked lady:Oh god he saying "Killing is fun"*goes green* Mihoshi:Jeff is SOO dead.... Tenchi Muttered a Giggle and went to ths shrine ot settle some things.Yosho was Meditating on some wise sayings but he was running out of ideas."Dont sh*t were you eat,"Came to mind but heQuickly rejected it. Wicked lady:..for the stupidest of advice contact Yoshos forehead... Holly:I am a fish i am a Fish..etc Heard a thump behind him and it was Sasamis severed head staring at him. All:MY GOD!!!*Vomit* Paladin its stared dumbass..... He jumped up with wooden sword in hand.... Wicked lady:Its boken idiot .It was Tenchi with his hands behind his back."Tenchi what ahve you done,"he screamed at him.Tenchi didnt say a thing but just giggled and blood Started to run out of his nose.Yosho reconised as Rabies.Yosho knew what he had to do. All:Kill Tenchi quick and destroy Sasamis remains call the cops and kil self... He rushed Tenchi with a speed that was Blinding.Tenchi did nothing but pull what he had behind his back.It was a colt 45 with a siclincer on it!!Tenchi pulled the trigger 8 Times Yoshos body was thrown back into the wall and he bled to death. All:...... Paladin:what thr F*ck happed Kiyone:Tenchi pulled a gun from no were and shot Yosho.... Mihoshi:I want out..... Wicked lady:The moron spelt Silencer wrong...... When he died Tenchi spit in his face.Tenchi took the body and threw it into the lake giggling the whole time.It Was time to take care of Ryoko that F*cking whore.Tenchi giggled and his headache got worse.Ryoko was watching her favroite soap opera when Tenchi found her.He was carefull not to let her see him..... Tseng:Pulling a gun on hime self and shooting himself... Wicked lady:Ryoko aiming at Tenchi... Kiyone:ACK!! the heat getting to us....*a skutter nearbye exploads.....* Holly:I am a Fish i am a fish (ETC) ...sneaking into the kitchen to get his "toy".He reached into the drawer and grabbed an Ivory handle butcher knife Mihoshi:I SO not like were this is going.... Holly:I am a fish i am a Fish.... (Tseng hits holly on the head err Moniter and he come back to life) Holly:ow my head...oh gods were still here.... Kiyone:...A butcher knife oh GOD!!! It coud cut through bone in one full swing..... Wicked lady:Oh WOW we realy wnated to know that.....(!) Tseng:Hold me Kiyone *Gloms Kiyone* Kiyone:Helpp he has me!!!! (Tseng cuddle sup to her while Mihoshi looks ill) Mihoshi:Guys i can feel my lunch.... ...And not have any trouble.He climbed inside a cabnet and called Ryoko name.Ryoko heard him and said "Coming my cuddle muffin.".. All:Dont go in there Ryoko!!!! Threepeo:Oh my, she doomed... Marvin:This is gonna be messy.... .She came into the kitchen and was and was puzzled.She coud have swore that Tenchi had called her name from in here.She turned around.... All:Dont Turn around run like hell!!!! ....to leave when a can or carrots fell in front of her.She looked up........ All:NO DONT YOU WILL DIE!!!!!! Fry:...horribley *gets a grim look on his face* ...The last thing she saw was the light glinting off the blade of the knife.The Knife went into the top of her skull and cleaved it in two. All:*Throw up like hell* Fry:My god the great Ryoko taken down by a knife..... Wicked lady:...I will not run away i will not run a way (ETC) Tseng:Uh oh....Wickie??? Leaveing the blade buried in her neck Tenchi dragged her into Washus lab.He left her in a veary naughty position on top of Sasami..... Kiyone:God this auther is SICK Paladin:this is even worser than a Tank cop fic..... Wicked lady:I will not run away i will not (ETC) (Luna P wake Wicked lady up by tipping a glass of water on her head) Fry:wellcome back to hell... (They all groan) .Tenchi was now coughing up blood to kill that Air headed slut Mihoshi.He giggled and left. Mihoshi:oh no im gonna die WAHHHH *Cries a pool of water....* Tseng:This auther must of had a childhood fall of lead paint flake eating and sticking his finger in the electric socket..... Kiyone:...we WILL kil him... Wicked lady:...we shall know no fear.... Paladin:Is that the blood angels motto *Comforts Mihoshi* Threepeo:Oh dear,The water level has risen fast.... Mihoshi was watching TV in her room when she felt the cloth being pressed against her mouth.Breathing in the coulorform she passed out.She woke up tied spread eagled on her bed with the corpses of Sasami and Ryoko on top of her. Paladin:This basterd wont dare Tseng:Sako gun *A DSK5 AMachine gun of energy apears*Im gonna blast somewomp rats*Fires out the window of the ATAT* Mihoshi:WAHHHHHH!!!! Threepeo:Paladin do soemthing or me the skutters and Marvin will short circuit Paladin:Ok *whispers soemthing into Mihoshi ear she stops and starts Blushing* Kiyone:...okay were gonna se something REAL gory... Wicked lady:Luna P says that to guys.... She tried to scream but her Mouth was Ducktaped shut with some sort of hose in there.Tenchi was standing there and said "Now we are going to see if you realy are an airhead." Kiyone:I have a bad feeling about this..... He reached over over and turned on the Air compresser and Air started to fill up her mouth.She started to cry and her and her eyes started to buldge out from the air pressure.Finally her head coudent take it any more and it exploded. All:*Throw up so hard there sick bags start overflowing* Mihoshi:WHY ME GOD!!! Fry:....ergghhh i wished i HAD NOT eaten that 3 week old hot dog....*Pukes* Tseng:I hate this Auther...he is ON my Auther Death list......*Pukes* Tenchi was covered in Brains which he ate because they were tastey.... All:*Puke even harder and a skutter exploads* .Now to get that Asshole Ryo-oki.Tenchi giggled and wnet back to Sasamis room.Ryo-oki was asleep when Tenchi found her.He picked her up and Slammed her up against the Dartboard.He took a couple of Darts that were lying on the table and jammed them into Ryo-okis ears pinning her to the dartboard. Fry:I HATE THIS AUTHER!!! Mihoshi:Oh noRyo-oki......WAHHHH Tseng:we are all going to die!!!!! Ryo-oki was now crying like only she can and Tenchi ripped her out het vocial cords All:*Pukkeeeeeeeeeeee* Wicked lady:what did...Ryo-oki do to him ... Tseng:I am going to so kill this auther.... He then got the rest of the darts and played a little game.He hit her in the hart 3 times and thamkfully she died... Mihoshi and Wicked lady:Poor Ryo-oki WAHHHHH!!!! Tseng:This Auther gonna die!!!! ....Tenchis darks Mission was allmost done all he had to do was to kill Ayeka and he would have his Revenge.He giggled of course and threw up.Then he left.... All:*Sobbing and shouting*WE WANT F*CKING OUT!!!! Ayeka was in the hot springs when he found her.She was thinking of a way (You guessed it)..... (Smeg off !!! you stupid dick!!) Tseng:i think the Auther is pissed as welll....... Wicked lady:horayy Tseng the demon... (Thanks Wickie) ......to get into Tenchis pants.All Tenchi had to do replace the saki she was drinking with Sfurlic acid and the job was done. Tseng:Acid,Butcher knife,Plastic explosives !!!!WERE THE F*CK DID HE GET ALL THIS???? Fry:My god...Poor Ayeka.... When she took a drink he Throat was eaten out she bled to death.Tenchi giggled and dragged her body to the others and set them on fire.Tenchi was haveing fun untill his hart exploded because of the rabies... All:YAY!!! die die die die Wicked lady:The fics allmost over.... Tseng:then we find this dicks plannet and blast it to hell!!! ...with a smile on his face and someones arm in his hand. The Moral is..... Fry:Never give sickos a computer with Microsoft word of note pad on it?? Wicked lady:...allways give your anamals shots... ...I cant think of one so Leave me alone! ,The end All:yesss!!!! Tseng: ray is GONNA die Wicked lady:Look the Reducer!! (Cut to outside view the Reducer is seen it beams up all the AT ATs and ATSTS) Tseng:Better..Holly battle suits! Holly:Gotahc sir the Reducer is heading for that rock were Ray lives (The crew apear in there battle suits) Auther notes to Ray:You are sick!!!,Tell em are you related to a nazi???? .Do your F*cking worse Moron my crew plus the JEDRI the Drummed and all the other MST ships will help us....in other words F*CK OFF TO YOUR WORLD TENCHI HATER DIEEEEEEE!!!!!! To viewers:Horrible wasent it...Oh well tune in for the next MST. (Red Dwarf theme anime style)